Here is a bonus winner of the Crappy Contest!
This story was submitted by Beth.
The words are hers, the pictures are mine…
I was washing dishes and heard my then three-year-old call out:
Confused, I walk into the bathroom to find him sitting on the potty seat, poop on his fingers.
———-
Thanks for the laughs, Beth!
(and yes, she was 6 months pregnant in this story for those curious about the baby bump.)
The Mystery of My Butt seems like it would be a good title to add to the The Gas We Pass and Everybody Poops section of the bookstore…
Yes’
YES!!!! I agree whole heartedly
Yes!
THAT’S how it works!!! The things you learn. 🙂 So cute.
So glad you posted this. I’ve always wondered what the butt mystery was. 😀
bahahahaha.
lol oh man that is a good one!
Classic! Thanks for the laugh today!
So that’s where it comes from!
lol!
When I become a mother, will my world also revolve around every bodily excretion known to man (and woman)? Yikes! pretty darn funny though.
Yes! Sadly.
Yep.
If you have a boy… I can 2000% guarantee this. lol And his dad will probably encourage it even more. I know this because as I am reading this my 4 year old son comes up to me and whispers, “mommy, I got a secret for you!” He turns his butt to me and farts… runs and laughs… lol
And there’s an app for android called Fish Farts. Keeps them entertained for far too long. lol
My 3 yr old boy knows which of the grands are grossed out and constantly mentions poop in their presence. They know how to bug us. 😉
All 3 of my guys like the fish farts game. Daddy and 3.5 year old came up with names for all the various kinds of farts the fish do. And the 16 month old just likes any reason to jab at the screen. 🙂
Thank you for that! I just downloaded it and my boys love it 🙂
My mom and I talk about poop so much (I have two little ones and many of our family members suffer from IBS so it’s inevitable) that one day while we were on the phone, we actually talked about how we talk a lot about poop.
It went like this, “We talk about poop all the time, I mean I think it’s safe to say it’s in our top five conversations,” I said. And then, without even trying to be funny I said, “I think it’s probably number 2.”
We laughed for daysssssss!! LOLOLOL
Yes – boy or girl. Until they are potty trained you will think more about pooping and peeing than ever before in your life. It’s ridiculous, but when they can’t tell you what’s going on, sometimes their potty habits are your best indicator!
we always tease my mom about making comments about how much the dog goes to the bathroom (mostly on camping trips). but i’ve come to realize that it is residual from back when i was a kid b/c i talk about my kid’s bodily functions & how often, etc. guess when he leaves home i will have to turn to the pets as well 😛 LONG LIVE EMPTY NESTERS! lol
Emily, that was hilarious!!
LOL at the unintentionally funny number 2 comment. Don’t you love those moments?
Oh my! I have tears from laughing. #2 reason.
Not 100% of the time, no, way more often than pre-kid days for sure. 🙂 I think it is unavoidable since it you suddently become in charge of someone else’s everything!
“Suddenly” typo, sorry.
His eyes are so full of pride!
How funny! My nephew once said to his mommy (my sister) that his poop takes so long to come out because it has to get its clothes on before it comes out.
My 4-year-old son has whole poop families: look, Mommy, there’s a daddy poop and a mommy poop and three little baby poops! Daddy! Come see! I had brothers!
“daddy! come see! I had brothers!” hahahahahahhahahah oh my gosh ahhahahaha!
Yeah. Daddy missed the conversation entirely and needed to know why Mommy was turning purple and making funny noises…
Bwahahahahaha! Oh my… The things I have to look forward to (with a 17 month old currently). 🙂
My 7 year old (with whom I usually don’t share these) was in the room when I shared this with my husband. She says “Yuck. I would never put poop on my fingers.” Strangely, this is true of her. But unfortunately, this is not true of her 15 month old sister. More fun to come!
My 7 year old loves these comics and begs to read them every night after dinner! he most he has ever read to me is when he read me several of the longer ones. I occasionally have to scroll through bits though!
As a mom of three, all I can say is, thank goodness the kid stayed on the potty when he said that. My kid would have left the potty to tell me and I’d need to inspect all toys that were between the bathroom and the kitchen, in fear.
no doubt. My almost 3 yr old would’ve gotten up and touched every wall, doorknob, counter, cabinet, toy etc between the bathroom and me. LOL
VERY good point.
About the time you get to stop talking about your kids’ poop, you get to start talking about your aging parents’ poop. Then it’s your spouse’s poop. After that, people will be talking about yours, but you won’t remember any of it.
Hahahahahaha!
Soooo true. 🙂
haha! Love it!
We recently moved to a new house that has an old toilet full of dirt in the back yard. Miss 3 is convinced that somebody must have eaten an awful lot of dirt, and done “dirt poos” in it!
I’m a nurse, poop is a daily work conversation..lol. I think it’s helped prepare me for motherhood. 🙂
I’m a nurse too, and my dtr has chronic constipation. It’s better now that she’s older, but when she was little it seemed all I ever talked about was poop.
Glad to know that my kids aren’t the only ones who touch their poop!
OH my goodness, so funny!
I really wish there was a “like” button for the comments on this blog. The stories are always good, but sometimes the comments are my “laugh out loud” moments. One of my 3yo daycare boys does not want to poop in the potty. We think he doesn’t like the idea of flushing it away. Maybe we need to go on a field trip to the water purification plant.
This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long, long time. Love it!
So today my sister tells me, her daughter(4) called her to her room, says “Mommy I need you to look at my privates, I think there is something wrong with them” so she pulls down her panties and shows her, says “Mommy, there’s a hole!” My sister trying not to die laughing explained that its normal and that all girls have one. Niece then says “do boys?” “Well, no honey” “mommy I think I wanna be a boy, I dont want a hole!” OMG I fell off my chair and almost peed myself…..just wait til she realizes she has another hole.
Brings new meaning to crappy pictures.
lol!
Thanks, Amber! I love it! You really captured the triumphant look on his face when he had the case “cracked!” 😉
ha!
That is classic! To everyone wondering what their kids are thinking when they’re trying to potty train, this is it!
Holy crap that was gross but so so funny 🙂 Pun intended.
Good one.
This reminds me of when my mom learned I’d started using tampons and agonized that it meant I knew “what was what” down there and was convinced that meant I was having sex (I wasn’t.) Thank goodness I only have boys!!
Awesome!
My oldest son (of 3) had no concept of privacy when he was a toddler. When he was potty training I had to sit in the bathroom when he went poop, no matter how long it took. He also liked to make conversation at the same time and tended to mess with his privates, as boys are wont to do. One day he’s sitting there and exclaims “Mommy, my penis is getting big!!!” Yes, yes it is. No one ever mentiones this part of parenting…..
Nope. Not in the parenting manual.
Ah, my 3 year old likes to fiddle with his privates as well. I came from a family of 4 girls. I am wholeheartedly horrified when he does it! EEEEWWWWW!
I’m so glad my kid gave up the potty and sits on the toilet. My only fear is he might accidentally drop a toy in the water. And then Super Mommy will need to save the day.
Pros and cons to every parenting decision.
Aside: he (almost 22mo) recently learned the word “fart”, and knows it is associated with “poop” somehow. I don’t know why, but “fart” as word makes him laugh. I’m amazed that toilet humor starts so young!
Aside2: it was only 7 days later that I helped him associate “stinky” “smelly” with the concept of “fart”. So it couldn’t have been the disgust factor initially.
So funny – loving all the stories in the comments as well! I just love the idea that there was a huge ‘mystery’ about his little butt!
starting to think about potty training my 22-mo-old….going to point this out to her first thing!
… so that she can fully investigate it for herself? 😉 Which way to go? Draw attention to the hole or wait for ‘discovery’!
My wee girl is potty training – the other morning when we had a friend staying, who heard the whole converstion, we were in the loo and it went like this.
‘Mummy I did a snake poo’ (it was a long skinny one)
‘That’s awesome sweetie, have you finished?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Ok, I’ll wipe you bottom and you go wash your hands’
Off she goes while I proceed to empty the potty and flush the loo followed by shrieks ‘Nooooo don’t flush my snake poo, you flushed my snake poo, I want my snake poo’ as she threw herself to the ground crying.
Oh yes. Tragedy! “But I didn’t get to say good-bye….”
Must have meant a lot to the poor little tyke. Now he waves them off, every time.
Mystery solved! Great!