I think about my own childhood now that I'm a parent. Often. Of course I do, it is my primary frame of reference in all things childhoody.
There are things I did that my kids will never do.
I could talk about how they will never dial a rotary phone. Or that they won't be enjoying candy cigarettes - remember those paper wrapped gum ones with powdered sugar inside that looked like smoke? So cool. Or how caller ID will prevent them from learning the art of prank calling.
But all of that stuff just makes me feel old. Plus, this type of comparison would be way more interesting coming from my grandparents who walked 50 miles barefoot uphill both ways in the snow and all that.
Still. Times have changed.
(The following pictures are of me as a kid. I have braids!)
#1 No Seat belts
I do not remember sitting in the car. But I do remember laying across the backseat, laying across the floor of the backseat, standing in the backseat, jumping in the backseat and possibly attempting headstands in the backseat while my mother told me to sit down.
Until 1984. Then those "Buckle Up, It's the Law!" signs went up and parents everywhere could point at them and say, "If you don't, you'll go to jail" which must have been awesome for them.
My kids? Nope, not going to be jumping around back there.
#2 No Helmets
My aunt (who is only six years older than me) used to pull me in my Radio Flyer® wagon by tying a rope to her bike. On country roads. Down hills. No helmets.
But the wagon would go too fast:
And she'd yell "put the brakes on!" which actually meant "PANIC!" because there weren't any brakes. We stopped ourselves by turning into the ditch and wiping out. It was fun.
My kids? They wear helmets at the dinner table. You know, just in case they fall off their chairs.
#3 No Childproofing
Hazardous cleaning products were left out in the open but those Mr. Yuk stickers were slapped on them so it was okay. Childproofing also involved putting chairs in front of things.
My kids? Anything even slightly yucky is stored way up high, protected by lasers and titanium padlocks at an undisclosed satellite location.
#4 Flying Attempts
I had a swing set. It was metal and green and yellow and happy. My favorite thing to do was to swing as high as I possibly could, higher than the top bar. I also liked to jump off, mid-swing. I usually landed on my feet, but not always. Sprained both wrists once.
My kids? No. They will not jump off a swing set. Not when I'm watching. I will always be watching.
#5 Playground Equipment
Remember seesaws or teeter-totters? I haven't seen on old-fashioned one in years. This is probably why:
A certain boy asked me to seesaw with him. I was thrilled! He must like me!
Oh. I guess not.
In second grade a girl got her top teeth knocked out from that little trick. It was bloody. Those things were brutal.
My kids? At least around here, seesaws are smaller and have hydraulics or something so they won't slam any butts on the ground. Which is a relief. Nothing good came of those teeth knocker outers. But playgrounds still aren't perfect. Though they probably aren't as much fun either, especially since they realized the giant metal robot was a bad idea.
#6 Sledding
We went sledding often. If you do something often enough you get bored. So then you create ways to make it exciting again. So we invented demolition derby sledding. If you got knocked off your sled you were out. We were crashing into each other on purpose. We also built ramps out of snow to launch us flying through the air. So much fun. So many bruises.
My kids? First of all, we don't have snow here. Second of all, thank goodness we don't have snow here. But if we did? No demolition sledding allowed. And they'd have to wear helmets. And not go very fast. Or ever stand up. On second thought, no sledding.
#7 Freedom
But perhaps the most striking contrast is the freedom I remember having. I'd eat breakfast and then leave.
I'd wander around. Aimlessly. Sometimes with neighborhood kids and sometimes alone. I'd cross our creek with homemade bridges:
And catch turtles without ever hearing of the word Salmonella.
I'd put roller skates on and skate down sidewalks:
And stop myself by crashing into a bush, just before the street.
I never stopped to eat lunch. Because I remember being out all day long:
Only to be called in for dinner when it was getting dark.
My kids? Yeah, right. At least not until they are older. Like thirty.
How does your childhood compare? Are there things you did that your kids won't?
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This is not a disclaimer. This is where I'm putting some actual parent-y discussion stuff because I don't usually talk about actual parent-y discussion stuff.
Are parents as a whole more protective these days? And where is the line drawn between good protection (seat belts and not letting your kids drink bleach) and being over-protective to where it is stifling for them. I think about this sometimes. FreeRangeKids is an excellent read if you are interested in this sort of discussion.
Oops, this isn't meant to be a thought-provoking blog so if this provokes thoughts I sincerely apologize.
Wait, that sounded like a disclaimer.
Unicorns! Sticker books! Poop!
Better?
My 6-yr old had to interview her Grandpa about what life was like when he was a boy. He was walking to school alone at 5, out all day with friends, played baseball on a field of ashes and rock, and his favorite thing was going to the dump to find things and be creative with them. He was muddy all the time and his favorite toy was a soldering iron. He used to make his own fireworks too. The upshot? He had developed a mechanical calculator in his teens (BEFORE the electronic type existed), then helped invent those early room-sized computers and eventually started a semiconductor company. Oh, and got rich of course. My kids? My husband worries if they are tying things with “strangulation-sufficient” lengths of string…
I was born in 84′, right when the seat belt law went into affect so I didn’t get to experience that. I grew up in Boston, in the 80s/90′s (not so long ago!!) and I had a lot of freedom. I didn’t have the opportunity to climb trees or cross creeks because my town didn’t have any of that, but I went out and about and all around town with friends on bikes or rollerskates (NO HELMET!) from the moment I finished breakfast until the moment the street lights came on and we had to go in for dinner, and then we’d go BACK outside IN THE DARK! and we were allowed to go around the block. We use to pretend our bikes were horses and rode them side saddle while flying down our street which was on a steep incline. I went sledding with friends without any adults around. We always put 4 kids in the backseat, we’d just stretch the seatbelt across 2 laps. I was also allowed to stay in the car while our mother ran in and our of stores. I think a lot of it does have to do with everyone knowing everyone in the neighborhood (which is not the case today) so more often than not someone’s mom was keeping an eye on us from a distance. And I agree with a previous commenter about how there are more media outlets now so the horror stories are a CONSTANT. My parents always knew that yea, something bad could happen, but it wasn’t in their face all day every day.
We used to roam our neighborhood too. My mom would call us in and we’d go right back out then. Of course we didn’t have A/C so being in the house wasn’t really much fun. We rode our bikes and if we didn’t happen to have our bikes, we could share someones. As in, 2 people riding. We had those banana seat bikes. Why would they make those huge seats if they weren’t meant to hold 2 or 3 people?
My sister broke her femur when a swing set fell over on her (while swinging too high)… 5 mo in hospital , make me agree with the whole revolution in swinging safety
I grew up in Baltimore in the early 90′s. For those of you who don’t know, that was when Baltimore was both the murder capital of the US, as well as the child kidnaping capital. My parents were vigilant, always making sure that we were safe. But my sisters and I were still allowed the freedom to roam about our neighborhood (which was pretty safe) with other kids. It’s important to love and watch your kids, but not to micromanage their formative years and live in constant fear. That’s no way to raise a cild.
We used to get locked out of the house!! I don’t necessarily blame my mother…she had 10 kids. Can you imagine having 10 rambunctious kids home during summer break?? I would probably do the same thing, lol. We also used to play hide and seek in the dark as well as war, with fake guns.
That sounds boring and overly sheltered. Kids gotta live a little too. No sledding? No playing in the neighborhood where you live? Assuming it’s safe, why not? My best memories of a child are playing in the ditches behind our house. We picked sour oranges and hid juice boxes up there and thought it was the best snack ever because we picked it. We got a ton of exercise and came home exhausted.
Yes, we want to keep our children safe, but we want them to LIVE too. What happens from one picture to the next is LIFE. We want to spare them pain and hurt, but sometimes, no matter what we do, sometimes things just happen. Why not let them enjoy life without so many restrictions?
I agree… it is going to be hard… it is going to challenge me… but I am going to continue to say yes as often as I can.
We will not break laws, or encourage smoking or violence… but they will get dirty, crash land and pick up turtles. We will make messes and get bruises and learn by doing!
They will not walk anywhere by themselves at 5… but at some point they will… and I will be semi-terrified… but they will be proud and confident because they can. And I will trust that I have taught well.
As a mother who lost a child during pregnancy… I started to learn that motherhood is a lot about letting go. We are never really in control of tomorrow… or how healthy or safe our kids will be. We can try. We can teach. We can plan. We can advise. We can worry and of course we will protect… but we have to let go and let them learn and experience for themselves… and that takes more love and strength than anything else (In my humble opinion)
I REMEMBER MR. YUCK STICKERS!!! I remember that mom had one on the phone, and I always wondered why: if you broke the phone, did some toxic sludge come oozing out and you weren’t supposed to eat it? A few years ago I asked my mom why she had put a Mr. Yuck sticker on the phone. She said it was because the poison control hotline number was on the sticker. I suppose that makes sense, but I like my toxic slime theory better.
Not me, nor my mother, but a friend of my mother’s lived and grew up near train tracks. She tells stories all the time of her and her siblings jumping onto the MOVING train, and then JUMPING OFF OF THE MOVING TRAIN!!!!!!!! She said her mother did not know about it. Thankfully, luckily, blessedly nobody got seriously hurt, just a few bumps and bruises. But, can you imagine if their mother ever found out?!?!?!?! I would have a heart attack! I would ban them from ever going outside again! Oh, wow! I would lose it completely!
I grew up with the most overprotective, neurotic parents. I never did ANYthing. And I feel like I missed out on being a normal kid. I hope my future kids have the kind of childhood that you had
Sunday rides were great family adventures… and I do mean family! My parents, aunt and uncle, and 5 of us kids would pile into my uncle’s station wagon. My uncle, my father, and my cousin Skip would crowd the front seat. Skip ALWAYS sat there because he became car sick anywhere else in the vehicle. My mother, my aunt, my sister and my cousin Laurie would be cramped in the passenger seat. My sister and cousin always sat there because they were younger and smaller. My cousin Chuck and I would crouch in the way back…not very comfortable, but the family was together. We went places like the Ginger Bread Castle (still haven’t found that one again), the beach, and out in the country to buy fresh apples. Our Sunday always ended with ice cream cones for all made with fresh cream and no additives. We were the definition of close… physically and spiritually!
PS… We never wore seatbelts because cars weren’t equipped with them in the 1950′s!
My sister and I grew up on a desert ranch in the late 70’s early 80’s. I remember mom pointing to the door in the morning and say “Go” that was all. We roamed the sonoran desert with the coyotes, javalina, snakes, very large lizards, and in the 70’s big horned sheep and mountain lions. I remember thinking that life was one big adventure. I now live in the city and often wonder what adventure MY kids are missing out on.
Me too! My friends and I roamed around at night (as well as the daytime of course) on our bikes and had so much fun. I had a trampoline in the ginormous backyard that I jumped on every single day. I often, too, wonder like you how much my kid is missing out on that rural life. We live in Manhattan and sometimes there is just nothing to do but stay in the house.
Everyone always says, “O the culture is so great there!” but how many museums can you drag your 11 yo to without needing some diversity, aka just plain old outside time. The run-amok outside time, I mean.
Changing pad covers? Wipes warmers? Mild discomfort is a danger too!
We still have a “robot park”. But the robot slide has a big fence all around it and the kids can’t play on it anymore.
YES! I did all of these things! I was born in 77 and lived in a rural place where there were lots of woods to explore (where I had no concerns about those tree houses in the middle of the woods way up high in the trees that were not actually tree houses but places for hunters to sit and pick off deer)! Front yards to sled down (protected from the street by a stone wall — that my teeth and nose will never forget)! And where if you swung too high on the swings, you’d have to get over your fear of the swingset “jumping” (it wasn’t firmly planted in the ground). But I lived and had fun doing it.
Thanks! This was great.