Crappy Baby will be turning four soon.
Remember how I whined about him turning two back in the day? Ha. That was nothing.
Everyone knows that three is more difficult than two. Course in our family, four is the most challenging of all. At least with my clinical study of exactly one child so far. (Five was much easier, six has been awesome and I hear that seven is magical. This is the extent of my experience but feel free to chime in with yours.)
Well, Crappy Baby is almost four and he is already exhibiting fourness symptoms.
Rage. Pure rage.
If I’m on the phone or driving or in the bathroom or having a conversation right in front of him or otherwise occupied and he needs something he’ll just scream at me. Not after ten seconds. Not after five seconds. Immediately.
All the “Excuse me, Mama” and “Mama, will you please get me some water” that he was previously using (um, a good portion of the time, not all the time) have disappeared. My sweet child has been replaced by a tyrannical boss who barks commands. “MAMA! GET ME WATER! MAMA, I SAID GET ME WATER!”
And half the time, he is pissed off about things that don’t even make sense.
That one? That “hungry but can’t eat” style of crazy? Crappy Boy did it when he was four too. The same exact phrase and everything.
With Crappy Boy, we could usually figure out the source of the catastrophic problem and then help him solve it accordingly. “Is your food too hot? Is your strawberry too slippery? Is your fork too shiny?”
But with Crappy Baby we only get this answer:
So yeah. This is fun stuff over here.
I know it is just a phase. Crappy Boy grew out of it. Crappy Baby will too. Knowing this sure makes it easier the second time around.
And with these big developmental bumps come big developmental strides.
This means next week he’ll probably be speaking Latin.
Or at least yelling it.
It has come to my attention that it looks like he is squeezing his nipples in the pictures. Which he isn’t. If he WAS, he’d surely be screaming about how it hurts to squeeze his nipples. Because that just makes sense.
PS – if you liked this, then you’ll definitely, probably like my new book: Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures