my official re-entry into the terrible twos…illustrated with crappy pictures™

I had forgotten what the "terrible twos" were like. I was reminded today.

My 21 month old wanted yogurt. Or "fogurt" as he says.

So I open the fridge to find three identical containers of yogurt.

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He is peering in behind me and wants to pick. 

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Yes, they are identical but I'm aware of exercising independence and all that parenting toddlers stuff.

So I pause and let him pick. He grabs the one on the right.

I begin to shut the fridge door thinking we are done.

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Apparently he has made a mistake. The yogurt on the right is no good.

So I put the offending yogurt back and he grabs the middle one. 

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And throws it on the floor. This one is even more offensive.

So I pick it up, put it back and he grabs the one on the left this time. 

Terribletwos5
And he throws himself on the floor along with the yogurt. Clearly, the worst yogurt ever.

When he calms down he goes back to his original choice. The one on the right. A wise choice.

He is happy with his final choice and he is ready to eat it.

Terribletwos6

Except he can't open it.

So I do something stupid.

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I offer to help.

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And this is my official re-entry into the terrible twos.    

 

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80 Responses to my official re-entry into the terrible twos…illustrated with crappy pictures™

  1. MamaofFour says:

    I remember those days well and especially how dare you try to help! lol

  2. Desiree says:

    HAHAHahaha love it…made me laugh at my own demise.

  3. This is my everyday. Thanks for the laugh! lol

  4. Amber Dusick says:

    Yep, I’m forever walking on eggshells with the helping offers now.

  5. MamaBennie says:

    haha daughter #2 is turning 17 months on the 2nd…it is only a matter of time before I get to do this shit again. Thankd for the laugh, I am sure I will not be laughing soon enough.

  6. JB says:

    A favorite quote of mine from one of my 2-year-old twin daughters is, “No! I do it myself.” Usually followed by some frustration on her part and then, “Mommy/Daddy do it.”

  7. Julie says:

    I have a 27 month old and this post made me laugh so hard. I go through this about every 5 minutes over something different all day long…

  8. Hiljainen says:

    I have a two year old. The same as yours.

  9. Maxine says:

    Lol! I feel your pain! You could have a camera hidden in my home! Cheers me up though, realising you are not alone tends to do that!

  10. Jess says:

    I’ve taken to saying “Mommy do it or Grace do it?” and she’ll tell me if she wants me to do something. It usually saves the frustration of her getting mad at me for offering to help. Then again, we’ve also gotten into an awesome habit of my asking a question and her completely refusing to answer. That’s especially fun when we’re in the car and I can’t hear her that well when we have Mickey songs blaring and the a/c on since it’s hot as hell out.
    I’ve gotta say, though, that I love this blog. Makes me laugh every time.

  11. Jessica Smith says:

    I also have a 21 month old. And we go through the same thing every day with graham crackers. Which one is the best one? Will he eat if I hand it to him? No. I must put it down, after which he’ll throw a fit and then take them off the table. Sometimes. LOL…. it’s a never ending battle.

  12. Jen says:

    Damn yogurt.

  13. haha totally. This is why I am not a good mama to toddlers…SO ILLOGICAL!! How can any of us deal with it??

    My favorite is my almost three year old: “I want an apple.” okay. “No! I don’t!!!” okay. “Yes I do!!”

    make up your crazy little mind!!

  14. allison says:

    When Eve was two and I asked her if she wanted something she would almost invariably say “No. I neam yes.” They just have to keep all their bases covered.

  15. nichole says:

    haha! i’m back in the terrible twos with my twin boys. fun times! i love all of your ‘crappy pictures’! they all make me laugh and i relate to them all too well! 😉

  16. amelia says:

    So this is where it all starts….I remember my mom saying repeatedly when I was a teenager “let me know if I ever do anything right”.

    My 2 year old had a meltdown this morning because I wouldn’t let her go to daycare in fleece jammies that are 2 sizes too small. Then there wanting to teach the doll how to drink from a big-girl cup…..and insisting I eat play food for breakfast…..and screaming at me for putting on the cartoon she had just asked for.

    At least its good to know we are all going through the same joyous times with our toddlers. They can be so sweet and loving one second, then evil little beasts the next.

  17. Rachel G says:

    this is so my life, except my 19 month old can’t speak quite that well, so I get to decipher his wants with screams and pointing, and the definite head shake and squeal NO!

  18. nopinkhere says:

    Ah! the conflict! Ah! the drama! Yes, we have it at our house too. My favorite is when I ask her if she wants to do something, she automatically says “NO!” and then screams bloody murder when I do it. “ME DO! ME DO!”

  19. Alesha says:

    In my house that yogurt would have been dropped on the floor, exploded all over the kitchen and then I would have been blamed because there was no yogurt to eat anymore. Good times!

  20. Jade says:

    And here I thought my 23 month old was the only future Oscar winner… 😉 I love this site…thanks for giving us a place to see that we are all going just as crazy!

  21. TexasMom says:

    I just tell my 2 1/2 “if you need help, let me know.”. Seems to work. My youngest just turned one so I know the “terrible two’s” will be creeping up soon enough again (and still going through them with my oldest!).

  22. lynne says:

    It’s still better than when my 20 month old was pre-verbal so I’d have to show him each item he might want and he’d smack me in the chest if it wasn’t the right one. Owie! The yogurt conversation/tantrum happens just about every day around here.

  23. casey says:

    Mine too! My daughter is 2.5, and this cartoon is so right on. LOVE it!

  24. My first two year old was angelic. I was so sure it was because I was the best parent ever. My second two year old left me with PTSD, it was so bad. I survive the third and final two year old with a countdown of days left, that I share with my other two year old survivor friends.

  25. Katie says:

    To quote Heather Armstrong (a la Dooce): “And the Academy Award for the Most Dramatic Toddler goes to….all of them.”

  26. Pamela says:

    We buy drinkable yogurt and they poke a straw through the top (less mess). BUT that means that the 2 year old HAS to put her OWN straw in and it HAS to be the right color! 🙂

  27. Speck says:

    Just wait till you stare at them wrong! How dare you!!!

  28. ChiMomWriter says:

    Yep. I let the dog in from outside, having no idea my 2yo, on the other side of the house, would dissolve into a heap of tantrum suckitude. “I doooooo iiiiiiiiiit!”

    So much better with pictures.

  29. Ashley W says:

    Laughed my bum off. Mine is almost 2 1/2.

  30. Kathi says:

    My two year old wants to get into his car seat with no help. That’s a fun one…

  31. Ginette says:

    I have a two year old…my third and final to go through the terrible two’s. I feel your pain!!!

    I just discovered your blog. You crack me up. I loved your cat story and the story about the restaurant. I can’t tell you how many times that has happened to me!!

  32. Heather says:

    Oh, I am right there with ya!

  33. Sara says:

    Love your posts 🙂 they are very funny and so damn accurate! My battle with my 2 yr old is going to the toilet, she has to do everything, and the process is so slow hahahha If I try to do any part of her routine she gets very upset with me and has to re-do it herself, it’s hard not to get impatient, but I have to admire her determination!

  34. Beth says:

    Stinks because I have a 13 year old and everything I say now is even MORE wrong then it was when she was two. I guess I am entering into the torturous 13’s??
    Beth
    http://www.3littlesnaps.com

  35. Wendy Irene says:

    This is hysterical!!! Thank you for the laugh.

  36. My daughter is two so I know of what you speak,however I still think that three kicks two’s butt. At least in my house it does.

  37. Dina says:

    My daughter acts the same way sometimes, so I’d find this post funny… if she hadn’t just turned 5. Is there such a thing as Terrible 5’s? When will this nightmare end? Will this behavior continue into her teens?

  38. Kate says:

    Love your pictures and sense of humour. Hope you have the time and energy to keep them coming!

  39. Erika says:

    I love it! So funny!

  40. Wendy says:

    Heck, my kids are 11 and 13, and we *still* have this conversation! Only it usually centers around one/both of them opening up the fully stocked fridge and declaring, “There’s nothing to eat!” Then I offer them one of three types of yogurt, and chaos ensues.
    Sorry, Mom. It never gets better.

  41. Chelsie in AZ says:

    I was a nanny for a very long time and experienced this with so many littles. Can’t wait for it to come along w/my own munchkins, who aren’t on the planet yet 😉
    Love love you blog!! Thanks for the laughs!

  42. Amy says:

    The tantrum convulsion Pic OMG! LOL!!!

  43. Lis says:

    so cute!!! Can’t wait for my 9month old to start doing this 😀

  44. Melinda says:

    Ha ha!!! When child #3 did that I wanted to mix them around so she didn’t know which was the first pick…kinda mess with her. They sure do test patience.

  45. Deirdre says:

    Aww.. My two year old’s most spoken words at the minute are “wanna do it all by my own self”.. I’m going insane o.O

  46. Jessie Lynn says:

    this is totally my son

  47. Julie says:

    Well, now that you put it that way I am realizing that my four yr old is still in the terrible twos…. and they get more and more terrible as the days go by. You should help her pick out clothes. 🙂

  48. Hilarious. I don’t want to frighten you, but my four year old had a terrible two fit yesterday over not wanting to drink water b/c ” it makes me cough and it isn’t healthy”. This is rare these days, though. Lobe your “crappy” illustrations!

  49. Rebecca says:

    I love your blog! Except, I feel like there is a hidden camera in my house because it is everything I deal with on a daily basis. 🙂

  50. Sally says:

    So true! Thanks for the laugh!

  51. Kelly Fink says:

    Ohhh yes. I am in a very similar situation with my 22 month old boy (and his 3 1/2 yr old big brother) !

  52. Roya says:

    I NEVER think that this is funny when it happens at my house, but it is hilarious when you draw a shitty picture of it happening at your house. Hilarity through commiseration.

    Thank you for keeping up with the crappy pictue drawing!

  53. Tristen says:

    Oh my….my son is 9 months, heres hoping I can laugh then as much as I did now!!

  54. SBR says:

    Super …. Been there – Done that 😉 Having “pipi” in my eyes THANKS for the laugh (just finished dinner with my 2.5yo and needed sth relaxing)

  55. I had tears streaming down my face from laughing so hard while reading this thinking about my girls. One who is almost 4 and the other is 18 months and in the throws of independence. Thank you for a much needed laugh today!!

  56. mai says:

    Amazing! love this site! I can see myself and my two year old in your posts. Thank goodness, he’ll be turning three. He’s not so terrible now, lol.

  57. Good God this is funny. What an effing delight it is to peruse your crappy pictures. Amen, sister!!

  58. Shannon says:

    Yes Yes Yes!!! What is it about yogurt?! the exact same thing happens in our house – although, he usually waits until I open one before he decides it was the wrong one!!!

  59. At least it’s normal! I was starting to think either I (or my son) was crazy. Glad to see this same exact thing happens to everyone else. I now treat the Fridge as a bomb waiting to go off and hustle Baby T out of it as quickly as possible, while shouting “Don’t let the cold air out!” And I clap when he moves and the door shuts. This prevents the yogurt tantrums from happening. Or God forbid he see something else he wants to eat instead.

  60. Lisa says:

    Embrace and enjoy the terrible twos. Just wait until you get to the Terrible TEENS! I wish my teens were 2 again!
    Love your blog, great work! 🙂

  61. LS says:

    For me the ending if this story is that the yogert is finally open and ready to eat and then he shoves it back at you “Don’t want it”

    LOVE YOUR BLOG!! IT GETS ME THROUGHT MY DAYS AT HOME!!

  62. M says:

    Oh my goodness, so gorgeous.
    Wouldn’t have been funny at the time though, I bet.

  63. Gina says:

    Thank you for this reminder! I’ve got an 11 year old and a 1 year old, I’m sure there is plenty that I’ve forgotten.

  64. Rebecca says:

    It’s like you’re in my house!:-)

  65. Michelle says:

    dogurt! dogurt! dogurt! – that is what my daughter called it. Ahhhh…two year olds

  66. It was only a few years ago, but I do remember. Although the back talk and dirty looks I get from my 6 year old lately makes me think that may have been the similar times…lol Love the drawings, definitely a new follower 🙂

  67. This is so my life and that last picture is the spitting image (stick arms and all) of my 17 month old.

  68. Ginger says:

    Just a preview for the even more irrational teen years.
    Only they are bigger.
    And can lie.
    Get ready people….

  69. Very funny, thank you!

    Makes you think:

    1. Did I actually do this to my mom?
    2. Mmmm, how much of my day/week/month/year will now be taken up with instances like these?

    Off to share your post . . . .

  70. April H says:

    I love that idea! I need to implement that! I have the refusing to answer child lately too. Or she’ll mumble something once (in the car) and refuse to repeat it!

  71. Sofya says:

    The story of my life (currently). I have a 2.5 year old (among other things).

  72. Bronwyn says:

    My daughter is 2. She wants to do EVERYTHING herself. I don’t ever remember my son being that independent at 2. We have been through the above so many times!

  73. Jenn Maryniak says:

    You are absolutely hysterical! My husband and I read the “terrible twos” posts and were crying with laughter. We have a 21-month-old and can SO relate to this. It’s like we woke up one morning and he was 2 years old. Keep the funny stuff coming- this SAHM parenting thing is hard!

  74. Jenny says:

    Started making a mental note to tell Beth, no, Beth and Dina – no, Beth and Dina and Wendy…. Okay, -everybody- needs to hear this:
    It gets better, it really does. I promise. It’ll take time, 2 or 3 or 20 years (I’m looking at you, Son) but it -will- get better, and sometime after that you get to fall in love with them all over again, and it’s even better than the first time.
    Hold on to this, believe it, tell yourself it’s nonsense, whatever, just don’t forget: it will get better, and it is worth it. Just hold tight. I promise.

  75. Melanie says:

    This is currently my life!!! Sooo exhausting!!

  76. A reader in TX :) says:

    Hello, I just tried sharing a link to this specific post on facebook (because it is awesome) and the text blurb that came up on my newsfeed was one of the comments. Not the text of the post itself. And it wasn’t one of the comments I would necessarily share on my FB wall. 😉 I don’t think there’s a way on FB to change the text that gets pulled… is there a way on this site? Just curious! Huge fan of your site, love to share with friends. 🙂

  77. Sami says:

    You can’t win…dammed if you do dammed if you don’t!!
    I’m naturally an impatient sort of person and this type of behaviour drives me up the wall (I have 5yr and a 3yr old)

  78. Kristen says:

    I am pretty sure you’ve snuck into my house and watched our daily snack (or shoes or toys or…) struggles. Our daughter was fairly easy…I even remember wondering what this “terrible twos” was all about. No worries though, our son has given thorough explanation.

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