So if you follow me on Twitter or like the Facebook page you already know this because I shared it right after it happened. But I'm going to draw it anyway because I have exactly "not enough" minutes to bust a proper post out. Consider this a placeholder and a way for me to say "hi" or something.
Crappy Boy and I were talking and he announced that Papa was no longer the Papa. That I was now the Papa.
Okay.
I ask him why.
He explains it is because…
And after I finished laughing I shared his "compliment" with the internet. Of course. Pretty much everything that comes out of his mouth is tweet-worthy lately.
This snippet of our day reminds me of when he was younger. And he was looking at a dollar bill.
Now for my non-US readers: our dollar bills are really lame. Nothing like the beautiful fruity cocktail that is Austrailian money, for example. Ours is dull, it looks like faded trash. I have to spend it as fast as possible because it is so ordinary I don't want it in my purse or I might accidentally throw it away with receipts. When people say cash "burns a hole in their pocket" they mean this literally. It eats away at the fabric fibers because it is so, so ugly.
Anyway, on our $1 bill there is an old dude. George Washington.
(I know it is tempting, but please don't print this out and use it to buy french fries. You could get in trouble.)
And it is at George Washington that my son pointed to and exclaimed…
I reminded him of that story last night. And he laughed so hard he fell over.
So naturally, today in the car he pointed to a guy walking down the street and yelled "Mama!" at him. Good thing the windows were shut.
I have a feeling more man jokes are headed my way. Which is totally okay. Much better than spider guys.
Now. The real reason I wrote this post. (Don't worry, proper posts are coming soonish) The real reason is that I was laughing so hard from the comments about my "man" compliment that I want to hear more. What is the best "compliment" you've gotten from your kids lately?
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PS – thank you to everyone for voting in the Parents contest! It was close, but no cigar. That's okay, I don't smoke cigars.
My daughter peeped in at me in the shower and said with surprise, “mama got butt.” Thanks for noticing.
My two year old: ‘Mama big tummy. And no more boobs.’ Followed by sad eyes (he got weaned recently due to my having to have a course of medication).
My 6 year old son told me that my ponytail looked like a “piggytail”. Then he made pig noises at me, and said “I like pigs.”
In his defence, it was a very short ponytail and he hastily assured me “Oh I wasn’t calling you a pig, I just like them!”
My baby doesn’t talk yet ( he is 10 weeks old :D) but I can’t wait to hear funny stuff from him 😀
The other day while cuddling in bed with my four-year-old I got a very sincere, “mommy, I love you!” I responded, “Awww, I love you too, buddy!” And then I got, “but sometimes your breath is stinky.”
Well, at least he loves me…
While shopping at a discount store for pants for my little one, he picked out a pair of pants that were obviously in the wrong section and told me “These pants are for you because they’re BIIIIIIIG”
Like i could even fit into the size 4 he was holding up.
The funniest thing he’s ever told me wasn’t exactly a compliment but it was unforgettable. I was sitting at the computer singing along to whatever was blaring on the headphones when my autistic 4 year old walked up to me, LOOKED ME IN THE EYE, and very sweetly said “Mommy, Please stop. Your singing makes the flowers die.”
This totally cracked me up! 🙂
That is hysterical!
I don’t know whether to feel more sorry for him with the sad eyes or for you with the terrible ‘compliment’.
I was playing with Jack, he stopped playing backed up pointed at me and said, “very heavy.” Just last night I asked him how hold he was, his response, “Two”. “How old is mommy”, I asked. His reply, “a lot” 🙁
While poking at my squishy belly my two-year old says, “mommy has a baby in her belly.”
No. No I don’t.
Mine was my moustache http://mystickfamily.blogspot.com/2011/09/i-love-my-son-but.html comment a few weeks ago. Aren’t kids sweet 🙂
My daughter caught me getting out of the shower too, and commented on how “oval” my body was! She meant this as a compliment.
lmao!
While watching Cinderella, my 3 year old and I were discussing the wicked stepsisters (while they were at the ball with extra padding in their behind). I asked “wow do they have big bums” and he replied “even bigger than yours”. Thanks child, thanks.
My 4 year old once told me that I smell like Shrek. How he knows what Shrek smells like, I have no idea, but I’m thinking it’s not pleasant. LOL
Four year old: “hey mom, are you gonna be a witch for Halloween this year?”
Me: “no, why?”
Four year old: “oh, I just guessed.”
Lovely.
While eating dinner at the in-laws, my three year old daughter poked me in the stomach and asked, “Mommy, why is your tummy so fat?” Naturally, she waited until there was a lull in the conversation before LOUDLY asking. Ummmm….awkward. And yes, I will have a second helping of mashed potatoes.
I think I just died laughing. Not very flattering, but hilarious!!!
When my oldest girlie was 4, she walked in on me getting dressed and saw my stretch mark covered bum and said “Wow mom, you have a wrinkly butt.”.
Im sorry that totally made laugh. I was recently told to stop singing also by my 4 yr old 🙂
Too funny!
My 4yr old daughter twisted a marshmallow in the middle and happily said “Mommy, it’s you!” Um thanx? lol
My nine year old (after giving me one of his patented “Squeezy hugs”) patted my belly and said “Mummy, your belly is nice and big and soft.”
And then he kissed me.
Yes, on the belly.
😛
My 5 yr old daughter was increasingly becoming more and more curious of my boobs. She wanted to know what they looked like. So one night after her bath when she asked again, I discretely flashed her. Her face went sullen and she looked up at me and said in a very concerning voice, “Oh mama, you must be so embarrassed.”
My son has a habit of shouting loudly ‘mummy has a penis’ whenever my trousers come down (eg public toilets, changing rooms etc) there is ALWAYS someone there to hear it and they always laugh 🙁 he also likes to ask for ‘the bigger boobie’ when nursing :/
My now 9 year old (he was probably 7 at the time) said to me: “Mommy, you are FAT…i mean, really fat. But I like it, because it’s squishy.”
Me: “Gee, thanks. anything else you would like to point out on mom?” (WRONG MOVE)
Him: “well…yes, you could get that cream for wrinkles on the TV, that way you won’t have wrinkles!”
Luckily i stopped with wrinkles….
“Mom, I think you’re wearing daddy’s underpants.”
(Daddy sports boxer briefs.)
“No, honey, these [boy shorts] are just new.”
“No, mom, they’re really big. I think you took Dad’s.”
Mommy were are the rest of your underwear? You butt is hanging out! ( thongs ) lol
My three year old was addicted to the cartoon Chicken Little for a spell.
One day,”Mama have gwasses(glasses)……..kicken widdle(chicken little) has gwasses…..Mama look like kicken widdle!!”
Great! Just who I’ve always aspired to look like!
Miss P (age 4) says to me the other day: “Mommy, I’m skinny. Not like you. You’re lumpy and bumpy.”
… just melted my heart. Good thing she’s cute.
LMAO!!!
OMG!! I actually cried with laughter reading this one!!! I can see my son saying something like this when he is a little older!!
I think him. He still occasionally points up and goes “No more boobs” very very sadly (of course, he also cheerfully yells “Hi, boobs!” whenever I’m getting dressed, so go figure).
My almost 4 year old recently told me I smelled like ‘dirty socks’. I quickly retorted … “because I’ve been washing yours and your father’s DIRTY SOCKS”. but really… I hadn’t done any laundry that day. :/
LOL that is the best. So, so, so funny.
My son said he was going to buy me a wiener so I can be more like him and daddy. He is 2 1/2. I think I am in trouble…
I’ve gotten the belly compliments from my son. About a year ago (he was 5) we were cuddling in his bed before bedtime and he layed his head on my tummy and said how he likes my tummy so much more than daddy’s because mine is mushy and more like a pillow. Since then I’ve lost 25lbs and just last night when my 3yr old daughter layed her head on my tummy she was confused about what the pokey thing was (my hipbone) – she didn’t like it and moved up closer to my “squishy” boobs. There’s no pleasing them 🙂
maybe he’s sad that there’s “no more boobs” for him…not that you have “no more boobs!”
LOL I’ve gotten the “Mama Penis!!!” shouts too. The worst.
OMG!! that is freakin’ HYS.TER.I.CAL!!! My 5 year old is on the spectrum and I swear I could visualize an identical scenario with him. Oh – they do pick their moments, don’t they?
HA! I am going to be a witch this year, per Crappy Boy’s request. He can’t imagine me being anything else apparently.
While swimming in our shared neighborhood pool my older son (6 at the time) yells to my younger son “Be sure not to rub up against mommy – Her legs are spikey like a cactus!”. Everyone then knew that I skipped shaving that day.
I am always accused of being “”zappy”
That is adorable. He usually guesses somewhere in the 60s for me.
My little sweetie has always admired my squishyness. I now take it as a compliment because it makes it comfy for her to snuggle. Also, she is the reason I am squishy. I was non-squishy before she came along. 😉
It’s kind of sad but funny and embarrassing too:/ My son said to me: “Mommy, Is there a baby in your belly, because your belly is huge.” I replied, “Um…. No, my baby went to be with Jeaus, remember the baby stopped growing in mommy’s belly and went to go be with Jesus. I am 5 ft. 9 in. Tall and only weigh 150 lbs. Hmmmm, not sure how my belly looks so huge???
Ohhhh man lol
I was trying on a skirt and checking it out in the mirror – to which my EIGHT year old son said, “Hey Momma, are those your muffin tops? Maybe you should get a long top to cover them up.” Thanks buddy for the advice 🙂
omg I would die. lol
My daughter, now 3, walked up to me and told me that I have bigger “milkies” than Mummy
way to make Daddy feel great, chickadee!
I wore a white shirt..black pants. My 16.5 month old daughter pointed at me and MOOOOed. then said “mommy a cow!!!!” thanks kid
Standing naked just gotten out of the shower, my son points to my pubic hair and says “messy”.
Mine is just sad. Sad because my baby cannot talk yet – she is 8 months old – but my husband can.
I will only share the two biggest mouth-oopsies:
1) Within a couple months of Ruby being born, he squeezed my belly and said, “It’s squishy now!”
2) (Preface this with the knowledge that I breastfeed)A month or so ago, Ruby was watching him drink milk at supper. She wanted the glass, and he said, “No no Honey, we drink fat milk from the fat cow. YOU drink good milk from the good……….um, Mommy!”
(He means well, and usually realizes how bad that might have sounded after he looks at my face. Lol!)
(The second one was even better when you realize that the ……. indicates a long pause where he had to decide whether to call me a cow or a mommy. HA!)
Our 6 year old daughter told me the other day that I look pretty with makeup on.
“Oh, thanks honey, but I’m not wearing any makeup”
“Yeah I know, but you look pretty when you wear it”
😐
My 3 year old son calls me “fat, fat mama” and even made up a song about it. I wonder what he would say if I really was fat?
My 3 year old doles out “compliments” to me all the time, but the best one in recent memory was directed at my husband.
My husband was getting dressed after the shower. As he was putting his boxers on, our 3 year came in and with plenty of expression said, “Oh Daddy, you have a Big STRONG butt!”
I almost died (in fact, this compliment was just repeated today!) lol
My girls and I were out walking one day and in our little town there is a house on the corner w/ 2 statues of gorillas (I don’t know why other than accross the street is a storage unit rental place and they also have a gorilla) one is a big one and one is a little “baby” gorilla. my oldest daughter looks at it and says OH CUTE its a Mommy gorilla and a (baby sisters name) gorilla. and I said oh yeah, why isn’t it a big sister gorilla and a daddy gorilla and she says because the mommy gorilla looks JUST LIKE YOU MOM but YOURE BIGGER!! LOL oh thanks, I look just like a gorilla except I”M BIGGER!!! : ) oh JOY!!! LOL what a compliment. but at the age of 3 being bigger is a great compliment!!
2 years ago i took my 2 1/2 yr old out to eat and we went for mexican food….well she sees all the hispanic people running about men and women and yells : DEIAGO….DORA HOORAY!!!!! we no longer watch dora 😀
My son and I were in Target recently, walking past the maternity section. He pointed to an obviously pregnant woman and said (very loudly!) “look, she has a baby in her tummy just like you!”. I am not pregnant by the way.
your stomach is so squishy.
Apparently I’m squishy, too. I was describing something as squishy, smooth, and like Jello and my six year old said, “Like you, Mom!” Squishy moms unite!
My daughter is only 2, so I don’t have any gems from her yet, but my brother gave me a good one a few years back. We had just seen a Blousant commercial, and if you don’t remember those it was for a breast enlargement pill. He turned to me and said, “You need that! It’ll make your booboos big, big, big!”
Oh Sarah! I have totally been there! My DS 3yrs came for a big hug. He reached up and stroked my chin hair and said “Mama, I don’t like these pokey things.” *sigh*
My son stuck a jump ring in an apple and declared it was me. Because, you know, I have a nose ring.
I thought I was the only one! I won’t pee in a public bathroom with my son anymore because he always yells, “mama you have a wiener”…so embarrassing!
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Out of all the fat ladies on the beach, you look the best in your bathing suit, Mama.” — 6 year old daughter.
After having my daughter and s.l.o.w.l.y. fitting back into my normal clothes, I was excited when an old pair of jeans “fit” again. On this particular day, I asked my two and a half year old son, “do these pants make my butt look big” ?(I normally don’t ask these types of questions to my kids, but was feeling giddy on this day) He replied, “yeah.” I made a pouty face and so he continued, “not your face or your beard, mama, just your butt.” 😮
My 2 year old pointed at a photo of Paula Deen on the cover of Food Network Mag last week and exclaimed “mama!”… Really.. she couldn’t have pointed at Giada? Or someone else? The salt in the wound came when, out of all the male TV chefs on the cover.. she pointed to Tyler Florence and said “daddy!” I would have felt better about myself if she’d compared him to Mario Batali or something.
My 18th month old pointed to a picture of a PIG and said emphatically “Mama!”. I’m 20 weeks pregnant. She did that on purpose. 🙂
my four year old compliments my “big fat squooooshy belly” >.< he will then press his face against my fat and sigh a happy sigh. he was that kid who plugged into my belly button with his finger when nursing. he just loves my belly
This cracks me up! My daughter asked me if she HAD to grow that hair or if she could just choose to not have it.
After my youngest was born, my oldest said, “You’re kinda fat, Mommy.” I told her that wasn’t very nice. She said, “I said KINDA, Mom.” Sigh.
My eight year old recently started a conversation with “Mummy, in the olden days, when you had a tail…”
Erm 😐
This blog is great! I just stumbled upon it before contracting the plague and have been reading it during my intermittent bouts of consciousness. This comment made me laugh so hard I started coughing. Totally worth it. *NOTE: I have the flu, not the actual plague.
My daughter (almost 2) woke up extra early this morning and ran into our bed. As we were trying to get her to go back to sleep, my husband farted very loudly. My daughter looked over at me and exclaimed “Daddy Poop!” We were trying not to laugh, but it was so hard not to!
I got the actual best compliment from a kid that I work with in kindergarten. We were seated together sorting out letters of the alphabet or some such important thing when he leaned into me, took a great big sniff and said, “You smell good!” “Thank-you!” said a startled Me. “Yup,” replies he, “you smell like pie.”
OMG, I am trying not to snort in my cubicle here at work, but I’m crying with laughter at this one! Toooooo funny!
Lol! My 8 mo screams if I don’t let her shove her toe in my bellybutton.
My 6 yo has always asked me to sing and sings with me. Recently my 2yo, when I started singing a song, covered my mouth with his hands and yelled “NO Tank You Mommy Mouth!” I’m guessing he’s the one with a musical future!
I remember saying that exact thing to my mother when I was little. I genuinely meant to compliment her makeup skills but she didn’t take it that way. I guess I see why now.
SO my daughter can’t talk yet, but a few years ago my mom and I were visiting a friend of hers with small children. Her youngest was about 3 or 4 and crawled into my mom’s lap and put her hands on either side of her face as if to tell her how beautiful she was…and then said: “Oh, you look AWFUL.” My mom must have made a face, because she quickly recovered with, “Oh, no….Just your face!”
This was seriously 10+ years ago and we still laugh about it. Can’t wait to get sompliments like that from my little cupcake!
LMAO I have a somewhat similar story. I was 2 or 3 and asked my mom what “those” (her boobs) were. She replied with, “Those are boobies. You’ll have thrm someday, too” I broke down in tears hahaha
And then my actual kid (who was 7 at the time) asked me one day why women wore bras. I told her because it kept things from jiggling too much. She looked at me and said, “Well. You would need a whole body bra then! You jiggle here… and here…”
Once after I’d just stepped out of the shower, my 3-year-old said, “Mom, put some clothes on. No one wants to see you naked.” Sigh. This is the thanks I get for trying to teach him why he can’t pull his pants down and pee on the front lawn.
Ooh, but Paula makes such yummy, sinful food. Maybe she just meant that she REALLY likes your cooking 🙂
LMAO aahhhh…kids
When my underweight son was 3, we would compliment him on his eating and say he looked bigger. He tried to give his grandmother a similar compliment:
“Grandma, you look heavier! Have you been eating?”
And then he just smiled and waited for praise on how nice he is.
I was carrying my 2 1/2 year old daughter. She said, “I like your hair, mama. It’s brown.”
When my husband sings, she will say, “I like your song, [husband’s first name].” Direct copy of me!
‘mummy you have a witches nose’ and ‘when you take your glasses off you look like a witch’ thank you darling.
My mom is fond of telling the story of when I was little and insisted she have a bath with me. When she got tired of splashing around with her bossy toddler she got out, only for me to tell her to “Get dressed—I’m tired of looking at your body”. Ouch. 🙂
i dont normally wear dresses, at least not so much after my son was born because i am always on the floor with him. so i put one on the other day, and he looks at me, points his finger and says, mommy, you look just like aunty louwna… now aunty louwna is the old lady with the bun, reading them stories at he library each week 😮
My friend’s son told his little sister that “Vacuum cleaners weren’t invented yet back when Mommy was little.” My friend was born in the 80’s lol.
LMAO!
Okay, this was not actually aimed at me, but at my husband. My youngest daughter is Mommy’s girl all the way and has been since…well..FOREVER. Well, my husband works as a roofer and doesn’t work when it’s rainy. When our youngest daughter, then 18 months, saw that he was off early one day, she came up to me and said, “Mommy, where’s Daddy?” I smiled, pointed at him and said, “Right there.” She then looked over at Daddy with a look of disgust on her face and said, “Ohhhhhhh!” with great disappointment. LOL
LOL
I just got the cow comment from my 4 year old. I was wearing a skirt with brush stroke spots on it and my daughter said “mom, that’s a cool skirt, you look like a cow”. she must have seen my face because then she said “a pretty cow!”. thanks girl…
My 2-1/2 year old son saw a picture of a young Bill Gates and said “That’s Mommy!” (I have short hair and glasses.0
My 5 year old son: “Mommy, you look prettier with your glasses on. Yeah, a little bit. A teeny, tiny, itsy bitsy, TEEEEEENY bit. Also, it’s more fun when Daddy’s here instead of just you.
My 4 year old likes to come up when I am nursing the baby in bed and tell me, “Wow Mom, you have the biggest boobs I have ever seen!”
When my son was 2.5 (I was 9 months pregnant, wearing a new black maternity t-shirt) he looked up at me and said “You look beau-ful!” Just the thing to warm a very preggo heart. Then he followed it up with “Yes, you look like a big, fat, panda!”
Fast forward 11 years: My now-13 year old commented just this week when I came in from the gym “You work so hard, Mom. I’ve noticed a lot of my friends’ moms look old and fat. Not you. You don’t even look fat anymore.”
Oh my God! That is terrible and funny.
Thankfully she knows that I am ‘girl’ but my 2.5yr old has a habit of looking curiously at random women, pointing right at them and saying ‘Look Mummy, what that MAN doing?’ (they always notice).
We were in the supermarket the other day when she decided to announce to the world ‘No, Daddy not got willy, daddy got FLOOF!’ (her word for her lady bits). Poor husband was mortified!
Following major surgery with a LONG recovery process I put on a lot of weight and was complaining about the unwanted gain. My 4 year old says to me, “It’s okay mama, someone has to have the fat mama.” 🙂
My 7 year old son always tells me he likes my shirt or my hair, even if I’m wearing a tshirt and threw my hair back. At least he’s trying to be nice.
This weekend my 10 year old daughter was standing by me and for some unknown reason I lifted my shirt and scratched my belly (should I mention I have a nearly 7 month old baby?) and she said (with all of the contempt her 10 year old self could muster) “What is wrong with your belly? Are you pregnant again?”
I could see my husband trying not to laugh. He just said “Honey, that is never ok to say to anyone.”
Still I am 5’7″ 140 # and fitting into my size 4 prepreggo jeans so… um… I have no idea what she was seeing.
My son, age 10, recently told me that I was the ‘death of fun’ after I stopped some bicycle un-safety lessons his dad was providing….I responded that it was my job. He told me he wished I was as bad at stopping fun as I was at my other job….cooking.
One weekend, DH is away visiting his family and 2 yr old DD is napping. I take the opportunity to attempt a pedicure. I remove toenail polish but DD wakes from her nap before I can re-apply polish. We do a Skype call with Daddy and his whole family, when DD notices my toes and says “Mommy, did you paint your toes yellow?” Ummm, yeah, thanks for noticing…
My three-year-old told me I looked like Candy Crowley (from CNN)
LOVE!!!! It’s a page out of my life! LOL
I’m trying not to spit out my tea, OMG this is funny (and my worst nightmare).
My daughter points at my stomach and says, “Butt”. :/
seriously just made me laugh out loud!!
I son found a random Ronald McDonald toy at my Mom’s house awhile back and adopted it as his own. The other day he was in the bathtub playing with said toy and pointed at Ronald (which, might I add, is riding a dolphin) and said, “Mama! Mama hair! Mama shoes! Is Mama!” I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and don’t own a pair of red shoes… apparently my child is colorblind. 😉
Not really a compliment, but the same idea.
We went shopping with our 2 year old daughter and Daddy was trying on shirts. She went up to the headless manikin and called it Daddy 🙂
My 4 yo boy snuggled up to me, took a deep sniff, smiled and proclaimed “Yum, Mom! You smell like hot dogs!”.
LOL. My three year old eyed me up suspiciously the other day and said “Mommy, are you SURE you don’t have a baby in your belly? ‘Cause it’s sticking out.” Nope, but thanks for the…laugh? 😀
Mt little guy weaned over the summer. A few weeks ago, as I was getting dressed, he observed, “Look! Mama boobins all gone! Just like Daddy now!”
Yeah, thanks kid!
i almost woke up my 4 month old who is sleeping on my chest because i laughed so hard!
When I was training as a teacher I was reading with a child when I felt another child gently stroking my arm. ‘How sweet’ i thought…. only to look down at my arm to see that said child had been wiping a bogey on my arm. Not quite the compliment on my warm teacherly nature I’d been hoping for…
When I was a kid, a friend’s 3 year old brother walked up to an old man in a wheelchair at a McDonald’s and said, “scuse me, why you in a stroller?”
My boys said similar things to me after my miscarriage. It was more wishful thinking on their parts than actual commentary on my body. Praying that Jesus heals both your hearts.
Did she mean before you evolved?
LOL @ “just your face”
My 5 year old requested during Sunday School prayer time…”please pray for my mom. Her legs are prickly when she doesn’t shave.”
My 5 y.o. son asked me a few months ago if he would recognize me when I wasn’t fat anymore! :/ But on Friday, I was wearing black leather boots and he said, “Wow, Mom! I love your boots! People are gonna think you’re Lady Gaga!” Is that a compliment? Not sure, but at least he “recognized” me!!
Haha! My three year old always asks me before she climbs on my lap, “Are your legs itchy? I don’t like it when they’re itchy.” Well, daddy works crazy hours and isn’t home every day…so…yeah, sometimes they’re itchy, haha
Haha! That’s for the great laugh. That just made my day. I think I’ll be borrowing your son’s line soon 🙂
We have a Mona Lisa magnet on our fridge. My husband was endlessly entertained when my daughter would point to it and say “mama”.
hahahahaha!
A “big, fat, panda” is adorable!!!
LOL, you had me at “floof”.
LOL, at least it was a “yum” and a positive thing!
I only have boys but when they were little one (who shall remain nameless because he is either 30,27,24 or 20 now) asked me “if I sit down on the potty so that I don’t show my fur! Which he then informed me “was where I hide my penis!” Fortunately this story was “not one he shared over and over at inopportune times “…lucky me 🙂
Amber your blog so should have won…I tried to vote more than once but it wouldn’t let me 🙁
My 22 month old doesn’t really talk yet. However, for a while now she has liked to point to all my spots, one by one. Recently, she points to particularly big ones and says “Ow!”
Hahaha…my husband locks the door when he showers and gets dressed before he comes out now. One day when our oldest was 2 or 3 (she’s 5 now), she saw him get out of the shower and ran to get a box of wipes yelling “Mommy!!! DADDY POOPED IN THE SHOWER AND IT’S STILL ON HIM!” Of course, it was really just something that’s supposed to be there, lol…
My daughter came up to me one pre-shower morning, put her hands on my face and said “Mommy got put on your make-up, you’re not pretty yet”.
Thanks baby, made my day. And I thought I looked okay without make-up.
Thank god my kids don’t talk yet. lol sorry!
Although, I use to work with children when I was in my teens. And I once had a little girl draw a picture of me. When she handed it to me she said “this is a picture of you, cause you have chicken pox.” OR acne-thanks sweetie 🙁
This is hilarious!
i am laughing so hard i should stop reading these. i’ve already woken up the baby once…
My darling 2.5yr old runs laps around me on the floor when I ‘try’ to do yoga, all the while sining “Big Mama” & “Bottom Mummy”
hahahahahahahahaha
Oh my, that’s the best one I’ve read yet!
LOL!!! Mine was when my two oldest were around 3 and 1.5 and were taking a bath together. I had to pee so I dropped trow and one of them (I can’t remember which) said “Mommy, you’re dirty!”
I am 5 months preggers with babe #3 and my youngest (5yr old boy) said “Mommy, your booty is getting as big as your belly”…I said sometimes that happens (which believe me I am happy about, I have NEVER had a butt 🙂 ). The he looked me over and said “You used to weight 10 pounds, you probably weight 80 pounds now.” YES, 80 lbs, I’ll take it!
i’m not sure if this is a PG enough comment to post but I had to share because when my daughter said this to me i almost fell down laughing. Recently, while getting out of the shower, my 3.5 year old who was sitting on the toilet, stared intently at my nether regions for a few seconds then looked up at me and said, “mummy, I like my kind of bagina better than your kind of bagina.” And there you have it.
Last year, my daughter (who was 5 at the time) decided to be Sleeping Beauty for halloween. She wanted me to get a costume that “matched”. I said “I’ll be Flora, Fauna, or Merriweather (the good fairies)”
She looks me dead in the eye and says “No mommy. You’re Maleficent”
Thanks kid! (And I ROCKED that Maleficent costume!)
Yeah, I’ve been getting that from my 9 yr old girl.
This isn’t exactly a “compliment” or a dis exactly, but this post made me think of it anyway. Last week my daughter said “I love you” for the first time ever… to my husband. It was actually “I love you, daddy.” I’ve been trying to get her to say it to me ever since, just as a game, not that I’m insecure or anything. But each time she just smiles and says “I love you, daddy” again, and I say “Noooooo!!!! Mami!!! ‘I love you, mami.'” And she just laughs and laughs. And then yesterday we got a kitten. She’s in love with it! So I said to her, “Tell the kitty that you love her,” and without a pause she said “I love you, kitty!” WHAT?!? Even the cat gets more love than I do! Hahahahaaaa!!!
While eating breakfast the other day with my 4 yr old DD and my 2 yr old DS my DD turned to me and said ‘Mama, should you be eating that? You need to go on a diet because your butt is big.’ I wouldn’t mind so much but I was eating a really small bowl of really boring healthy breakfast cereal. And last week I lost 7lb!
My 24 month old daughter was playing with my measuring tape. She measured everything in mufs (months) the sofa was 8 mufs, her foot 100 mufs, my non-pregnant belly…2 mufs.
She was kind, it’s totally 6 mufs.
Ultimate compliment from my daughter…
She drew a picture of me at 3yo kinder and was busy telling me all about it at pick up time with great energy and enthusiasm. It was a beautiful picture – almost ‘crappesque’ in it’s detail. She had drawn me as I emerged from the shower screaming at her to hurry cause we were late for kinder that morning. There was my “big tummy” and my “big boobies” and “look Mumma I even ‘membered your furry boppom (bottom)” Yep, there I was in all my glory with pubic hair drawn on my bottom as explained loudly to forty of my neighbours….. loooooong silence and embarrassed smiles all round.
That just made me laugh out loud so much that my 9 year old son had to come in and see what I was laughing at!
After running her finger up and down the bone of my nose, my daughter asked, “Mommy, did you get a nose job?” “No, sweetie,” I replied, feeling kind of flattered.
“Are you going to get one?”
love this!
my five-year old great-nephew and his parents (my niece and her husband) came to visit me in maine. At one point, he wanted to sit in my lap.
“I’m sorry, i don’t have much of a lap” i apologized.
“how come?”
“cause i’m so fat” i explained
He patted my belly. “Oh, you not fat, you’re just fulla fulla love!”
The kid is definitely in the will!!!!
My 3 yr old demanded that daddy give him the last cheese stick on daddy’s plate. Of course Daddy says no, but my 3 yr old looks directly at him, throws both hands onto the table to make himself taller, and declares that he will hand over the cheese stick “because Mommy is the boss, not Daddy!”- in which I had no part of this conversation!
my 3 year-old announced that instead of scooby doo on his b-day cake (like he had on 3rd b-day) next year he wanted me on his cake. 🙂
My oldest son, now 11, is a witty little dude, and one day he thought up the name Momster. No, that’s not a typo, it’s really a mash-up of mom and monster. lol I have to say, I was rather proud of him for coming up with something so ingenious. lol
Also, we like to joke around about my mom being old. She’s not really that old, but it’s been a thing for as long as I can remember almost. AT least from my early or pre-teens. Actually, it started younger than that, when I suddenly realized that my mom was around for Woodstock, and I was shocked that she was so old. hahaha. After that, it became a bit of an ongoing joke, and soon mom was prehistoric, which eventually evolved into my telling her, as I became older and smarter, that she came from primordial ooze. lol Well it seems my oldest son has also been graced with my obnoxious wit, because one day he was at grandma’s, and commented, “Grandma, at school today we were looking at history books, and I saw you in there!”
When my son was two we were at a funeral and after it was over he walked up to the priest and said “I LOVE Jesus!”. I remember feeling relieved he said something cute and not awkward. He then proudly (& loudly) proclaimed “Mommy is wearing a black bra under there!” I whispered that we don’t talk about our private parts in public & he “whispered” loudly. “Do you mean my penis?! I can’t talk about my penis!?” The poor priest was embarrased and speechless. I just smiled and walked out of there as fast as I could. You win some, you lose some!
I don’t have kids yet but I just gor pregnant and I told my seven year old niece and she proceeded to tell her little brother who is 4, he came to me and said “cydnie do you have a baby?” And I said “not yet but I will!” And he said to his sister “see she doesn’t have a baby it’s just in her tummy!” It was super cute and funny. 🙂
That’s awesome! Clearly a matter requiring divine intervention!
When my youngest was just old enough to understand, I used to sing her to sleep, just like I had done with her brother before her. One night, she reached up, put her fingers on my lips, and said, “CD.” Mind you, I had been a professional singer in my 20s.
I was talking to my husband about being out of shape and my daughter said “no you’re not, you’re a circle”.
Hi. I’m reading your post from the land of tropical-cash. “G’day” (.. apparently that’s how we greet people down here)
From my almost-three-year-old son just last week…
1. Staring intently at my face while I was speaking to him “Mummy has wiskers…”
2. Comparing the small size of the toddler toilets they have at Childcare to the one we have a home. ..”Mummy and Daddy have a big toilet at home… that’s for coz they have BIIIGG bottoms..!!” (he says this with his arms stretched out wide).
I recently cut my hair from my the middle of my back to just under my chin. Right after getting it done my 3 1/2 year old tells me “mom! you’re hair!” I ask her if she likes it “no, no you need to go cut it back long. It looks better long, you look more like me and not like Michael” (Michael is my bf) She is a little diva though because when I took off my acrylics she exclaimed “MOM you need to go get your nails painted long again. And NEVER EVER take them off again! Ok?” (we’re in the bossy stage)
My six year old said that I should go on Biggest Loser and that I would probably win.
Nevermind, that I’m at a healthy weight.
No wonder so many of us have body issues.
I can totally picture my oldest coming up with something like that when she is older..too funny
I had drawn a picture of a woman’s face. My daughter grabbed a pencil and drew two dark lines under the eyes and said “There! Now it looks like you Mommy!”. Sigh.
Not really a compliment but my sister was telling me once that she had told her 4year old that she was going to go and have a bath. Her 4year old started laughing hysterically as if she had told the funniest joke ever, and when she questioned why he was laughing he replied ‘mummy you won’t fit in the bath!!’
She went on a diet that afternoon..
When we were tiny, Mum told us that all Mummies and Daddies are 99. I thought about this for a while then said “but if Granny and Grandpa are Daddy’s mummy & daddy, are they 99, too?”.
This was before I decided, age 5, that I wanted to be an accountant!
We’ve had problems with our 4 year old using far too much toilet paper to wipe his bottom so one day I told him he only needed 4 squares because he only had a little bottom. He looked at me, looked at the toilet paper and looked back at me and said “Mum, you need 60 squares because your bum is bigger”.
And then there was the time he told me I looked like ‘Big Momma’!! It’s a good thing he’s cute…
On one of those retro channels a rerun on NightRider came on and I said “I used to watch this!!” and started dancing to the theme song. My four year old son says “Mama, you dance like a chicken.”
My 3 year old was in the bathroom with me while I was getting out of the shower and he looks at me and points to my boobs and says “Those look like boomerangs…..but their not” and he walks aways. Lovely
Pointing to my belly “Look! Mom’s baby is HUGE!” I was only 9 weeks pregnant.
My 4 year old daughter compliments my hoots. Constantly.
My 2 1/2 year old does this on a daily basis. points to every freckle and every mole and says “ow”. i have told her over and over they don’t hurt it’s not an ow…. makes me feel pretty!
My grandmother was asked by a curious 5 year old friend “Are you going to die soon?”
Granny (who was 90) replied “I might.”
Miss 5 thought about it for a second then said “Can I watch?”
Kids are weird.
Recently Miss 2 3/4 said “You’ve got boobies, I’ve got boobies, Daddy’s got boobies. My boobies are getting bigger and bigger. Your boobies are SOOOOOO big”. A compliment for Daddy and Mummy all rolled into one 😉
When my oldest was 2 and I was expecting her sister, we were lying in her bed snuggling one night and I was telling her that “when the baby comes you know that Mommy will still love you.” And she said “I wuv you too, Mommy.”
Pause. I’m thinking I’m having such a wonderful mommy bonding moment with her, until she says: “And I wuv my poo-poos!”
Oh and Yes, our Australian money is so pretty. Thanks for the compliment.
My husband was getting dressed and our three year old told him he had big boobies! I just about peed my pants!
My 3 year old was watching a male plumber work on our water heater last night and he says to me:
“The man is fixing that. You don’t know how to fix that because you are a girl. Girls don’t fix things. Boys fix things!”
I guess some lessons in feminism are in our near future! HA!
My mom says that one of both my brother and my sentences was “No sing, Mama.” We’re both musicians now and our mother can’t carry a tune in a bag. Early critics!
Er, FIRST sentences. I can’t English so good.
Sam, that is SO funny…I am still laughing!! Especially because I can relate…my autistic daughter often tells me to stop singing. I guess my voice doesn’t match the perfect pitch that is in her head!
This will definitely be me in 4.5 years. Mama’s legs are prickly 6/7ths of the week.
My 2 year old woke up with a crazy case of bed head and I said “honey, you’re hair is messy!” She deadpanned “Mummy, your face is messy”. Nice comeback!
My twin cousins, ten years my junior, teamed up to honk mine when they were 6 and I was 16. I told them this story this past Christmas, at 32 and 22 respectively, and they were really embarrassed. Make sure to bring this up to your daughter every holiday once she hits puberty.
My three year old daughter saw me undressed and said, You’d better get your clothes on, Mama, that looks AWFUL!”
When my now 6 year old was 3 he came up and hugged me and said “mummy, you’re warm and snuggly and your skirt tastes like chocolate”
My 6 year old just Loves Mommy’s squishy belly, and was very upset to learn that me trying to lose weight ment that the squishyness was going to go away.
My daughter isn’t talking yet, but one of my grade ones pointed out that he thought it was great that I “painted my face for picture day” one year! (I rarely wear makeup but had attempted a little mascara that day..haha!)
This weekend as I was relaxing on the couch while my boys played together, my 8yo looked over at me and said “ummmm, Mom, I hate to say this, but you have a really big belly. I think you are a couch potato.”
I love you too honey. *sigh*
My oldest son told me that I have the squishiest belly of all the people he knows.
I told him my squishiness was his fault.
OMG that made me snort out some drink. 😀
My 3 year old told me, “I love the way you oink.”
It’s not a family catch-phrase. Not sure what he meant or why he said it, but we sure found it hilarious!
I’ve gotten “Mama, your butt is real big!” while I was taking a shower.
When looking at Fiona from Shrek “That looks just like my mama!!!”
“Mama, you have pokey’s on your lips.” (in reference to my mom-stache)
When my daughter was about 2 and my son was only a few weeks old, I managed to slip away with my eldest to the grocery store for some girl time. While walking through the frozen veggies isle, she started grabbing her boobies saying in a loud, but otherwise normal voice “Cici’s boobies” followed by her overly enthusiastic gesturing at my about-to-explode chest and in the deepest, most thundering voice a 2-year old can muster “Mama’s boobies.” Over and over, echoing through the not-quite-empty-enough isles. I about died.
It’s great you nursed so long! I think it’s very sweet he misses your boobs… They were obviously good friends 😉
My son is among the squishy belly lovers and one day while at the store my son shouted very loud and excited “Mommy, that lady’s hinney is bigger than yours!” (I’m
a little too fluffy for my size) Thankfully the lady noticed that he really did mean it nicely and thanked him for the complement.
My 3 year old son has asked where my penis is… 🙂
Oh – here’s a good one for ya….I recently lost 20lbs and played the lead in a musical. About a week after the show was over my sweet, kind, loving 5 year old son saw a clip of Shakira on TV.
He so sweetly said “Mom, she sings better than you. And she is skinny. (I glare at him.) But I love you. But she is skinny and you’re not.”
Thanks kid.
Ok, this is sort of icky, and not really a “compliment” but this post reminded me of something…
I was using the public restroom with my 3 year old son. I was having my “monthly” and he noticed my pad… At which point he became very worried and said, “Mommy has a boo boo!” I struggled not to be embarrassed and explained I didn’t have a boo boo that it was a girl thing and to be happy he was a boy…
I’m sure the other people in the restroom loved the show *sigh*
I was in the tub with my then two year old and pregnant with my second boy. Two year old looks at me and says, ” Mommy, you have a great big fat vagina. ” He was very matter of fact about this . No more baths with two year old.
I’m a brunette and my husband and 3 year old daughter are both blondes. I was being silly (okay, fishing for compliments) so I asked her if my hair was pretty and she said “no, because its not blonde!”.
Yes, I tend to very cactus-like a good part of the summer for the same reason!
One day while I was changing, my almost 3 year old burst into tears. When I asked him what was wrong he told me my “Choo choo” (ahem, penis.) was broken. He then went on to tell me that my (apparently terrifying) pubic area looked like an “orange coconut.”
Once I calmed him down, I went to finish dressing and put on my bra, which brought on a new fit of crying. Between sobs he said, “Oh no, Mama! Your bags (boobs) are trapped! Poor, poor bags… they are so small and scared.” Love this kid. He always keeps me laughing 🙂
Son: Even though you have a big butt I still love you!
Me: Son! What did I say about talking about other peoples body parts!
Son: What?!!! I SAID I love you?!!
The funniest thing my daughter has said about my body is she told me when she is 16, she wants to have big muscles and wear earrings like Mommy. Her word for breasts is muscles.
The first day I dared to wear skinny jeans, my 4 yo daughter said, “What is THAT you are wearing?” I was already feeling self conscious about them. LOL! And later she complimented every piece of my outfit but left out the pants in her string of compliments.
4 year old is full of lovely body related compliments…”Your bum is wobbly and it’s funny” “Your tummy is squishy and you have lots of skin, but it’s soft so that’s ok” or “You have no milk because only big boobies have milk” – this clearly something he noticed when I was still breastfeeding my now two year old. Also when I sing along to a song he happens to like to he clamps his hands over his ears and screams “Nooooooooooo mummmy – don’t ruin my favourite song!”
My big guy calls my freckles “polka nots.” he’s quite concerned that I have so many, haha.
On the other hand, my two year old is in a lovely stage at pointing of pictures of Sleeping Beauty and models in magazines and saying “There’s mummy”. At least they balance each other out 🙂
Just two days ago, I was taking a walk with my my eight year old son and five month old daughter and in all seriousness, my son says, “Mom? Do you feel lucky that you had Lucy, since…you know…you are too old to have babies?” I am 34. 🙂
My 6 yo “You grew up in the old times”. Gee Thanks! And my 2 yo commenting on the gum that I had just put my mouth was trying to say “Mom Gum!”, but it came out “Mom Dumb! Mom Dumb!”
Oh, My, Land. That’s TOOOO much. I’m dying here.
ROFL!!!!!
My almost three year old daughter pokes my tummy and says “big tummy” or “jiggle jiggle”. It isn’t that big or jiggly!
For a Halloween run next week, I have to have a costume. So I rounded up the pieces to be a ladybug. Simple, right? Little man says as I’m trying it on, “Mama, you can’t be a lady bug because ladybugs are little, and your BIG!”. He’s 3 1/2 and sounds like from reading I have years to go.
Haha, that’s awesome 🙂
Getting dressed in the locker room at the pool, my son (3, weaned at 1) looks at my bare breasts and says, “Mom, what are those things hanging off you?” Well, son, they didn’t hang quite so much before nursing you.
Last year (a few months after delivering my 4th baby) I took my 7-yr-old along with me to go bathing suit shopping (don’t ask me why – I still don’t know what came over me). On the drive there, he asked me, “You’re not going to get a bikini, are you?”
“No!” I said.
“That’s good. It’s because you’ve got a big tummy, isn’t it?”
Awesome. Thanks, son.
When I was about 5 months pregnant my 4 year old comes in the bathroom as I am getting out of the shower…she looks at me and then (as sweetly and sincerely as possible) asks me if I had a baby growing in my butt too. Nice.
My 3 year old son was insisting that I peed standing up in the public restroom. He was disappointed to hear that I did not have a penis like him and daddy. So then he asked me what that (pointing to my, you know) was. I told him and he screamed: “You have a giant?! (he misunderstood when I said vagina under my breath)
HA!
Now that’s a compliment. 🙂
I so remember thinking the same thing when sitting on my Momma’s lap as a child. LOL
My 4 year old told me I was the most beautiful lady in the world, when I glanced at my 7 year old (hoping for similar praise), he looked at me with a knowing, sad look and said in a kind but condescending tone ‘Ummmmm, actually Mummy, I hate to tell you this but ummmm….there are kind of more beautiful ladies than you out there.’ Dream squasher…
While in bed with my wife and 3 year old daughter: “Only penguin loves you daddy.”
My 3 yo was drawing on his chalkboard with his grandpa. He asked “Pappy” to draw himself. When he was done, DS looked at it very seriously and said, “That looks funny, Pappy.” Then he picked up the eraser and said, “Um… let’s try that again.”
Since I’m breastfeeding my 2 month old, my two year old has begun asking questions and such. My husband refers to breasts as ‘ninnies’ to my daughter (don’t ask why, I’m not sure myself). Just yesterday I hiked up my shirt to nurse and when she saw my breast, she exclaimed, “Ooo, Mommy! I wike (like) your ninnies!” Thanks??
In a public washroom, my 3 year old daughter says: “Mama, I have a vagina.” Me: “Yes you do.” Daughter: ” I have a tiny vagina” Me: “Sure” Daughter: “Mama, your vagina is HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE (in a long drawn out word)
*cue laughter in the other stalls.
aren’t children precious?
ROTFLMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Drats! I voted for you twice too. Oh well, the *real* funny people never win. You’re like dark chocolate – most people only like the boring milk chocolate kind but us sophisticated folk know the real thing on your blog!
My daughter is only 13.5 mo old. The funniest thing she says is “hot” or “woof” when she hears any animal sound.
My six year all of a sudden noticed the hair on my arms… “wow, you got hairy arms! Like a man!”
Yeah, thanks buddy.
Amber…you should have won! : (
Those are rally funny stories…I’m laugh-crying…
so funny, my 4 year old daughter used to always say that she liked my boobs because they are so big and “floppy”. Recently, while we were in the grocery store line up, she looked at me with a confused look and said “Mom now your boobs are medium and floppy”. At the time I was so embarrased, but now I can look back and laugh.
One day after stepping out of the shower my 3 year old daughter said, “is that your boobies mommy? Boobies are floppy!” Great. And I had to share this cute comment: one of the first times my daughter helped me bath her baby brother, she said – with washcloth in hand, “wash your arm, wash your leg, wash your tail. Wiggle wiggle!” still laughing over that one!
The tears are streaming….
my son is just starting to talk (18 months) but i’ve been working with toddlers for years in day care and i have heard many many “compliments”. the one that sticks out for me was when i was reading “the very hungry caterpillar” and i was at the part where the caterpillar wasn’t tiny any more, “he was a BIG FAT caterpillar” and of course i made it very enthusiastic, with my arms out wide to show just how big he was, and one of the little boys, looks at my stomach (i had just come off maternity and was definitely not at my pre-baby weight), as said “just like you!”
now i can’t read that book without bracing myself for someone to say that again
My sister is covered in freckles, especially in the summer. My son pointed to them and admiringly told her she must be a leopard. She was actually pleased (for once someone is not looking at them as a disease) and they pretended to be leopards for the rest of her visit. 🙂
One of my son’s little friends (they were both about age 2 at the time) explained all the anatomy to me as he watched his baby sister get a diaper change. He said that boys were born with “wienies on” and girls were born with “wienies off,” he further went on to explain that “wienies off” meant that she had a “girl penis.”
Hahaha!!! OMG I think I just peed a little!!
LOL!!!
Hahaha!! This is something my husband would say..
This isn’t a “compliment” but your son yelling MAMA to random men reminded me of when my son was just learning to talk and all men were “DADDY”. All women were “MOMMY” and all kids were “BABIES”. Going to the grocery store with him was lots of fun- we’d walk through the aisles and he’d point at random men and yell DADDY!
This made me cry I was laughing so hard!
My 5 year old told me I’m not the nicest one in the world, God is…. I took it as a compliment, I must be 2nd only to God right?
I was 12 at the time. 5’7 3/4″. 120 lbs. I go over to a friends house. Brother of said friend asks me how old I am. I tell him. “Whoa your huge!” Thanks, kid, thanks.
while my 8 year old daughter hugged my sad fat belly she said “At least you aren’t as fat as daddy” (her daddy weighs 400 pounds)
Well um, yeah. Thanks for that sweetie.
That is the best. Seriously dying over here. Thank heavens my kids are heavy sleepers!
I’m trying so hard to come up with a “compliment.” My kids aren’t big into flattery. My son, does, however ask to go live with his “real mama.” I’ll be snuggling him, playing kissy games, and then he holds the sides of my face, looks deep into my eyes and says (in our living room): “I want to go home now.” Um, what?!
Upon climbing into my bed at 5am to cuddle with me, my 3-year old asked me to go brush my teeth.
oh my gosh that’s a great one! My then 3 year old son has asked me to please stop singing cause it made his ears hurt
ah haha that is awesome!
can’t breath.. oh my gosh…
What is with the ‘Mama Penis’ thing? And why is it always said loudest in public?? 🙂
hahahaha
aw that is very sweet
to Mary Claire ^
HAHAHAHAHA!! Love it!!
When my daughter was two she asked why my belly looked so “tired and worn out.” Ouch, that one hurt.
My kid once noticed my pad and asked about it. So trying to think up a way to explain it in terms he’d understand, I told him “That’s mommy’s diaper.” He pointed at me and laughed hysterically.
my daughter used to come into our room in the morning, but she didn’t like to sit up close to us. She would say, “I don’t like your smell.”
I love your stuff Amber! but I also come to your blog to read all of your reader comments. I look forward to more of both 🙂
My son told me that my face is as smooth as the skin of a hot dog.
Bahahahaha that almost made me disgrace myself. That is pure gold!
I am a non US reader and I think your comment on how awful your dollar bills are is quite interesting: in fact the first time I held one I thought it was a monopoly bill 😉
To add something more nice to my comment: I love your crappy pictures and I thank the blogger in France who made me know them!
When my daughter was a baby, my then 2yo son told me he had a doodle but his sister has a ‘crack doodle’ lol. It’s in the memory banks for his 21st 😉
I actually just received one the other night. I was getting ready to go out; we were headed to our 6th anniversary dinner and my son comes in to me half-dressed and he says, “Mommy why are you so….. beautiful?” It was awesome.
My son hugged me and said: ‘Mama, your tummy is softer than the softest pillow.’ If it means I get more hugs, I can live with that.
LOL! My five year old told me that I had a mustache the other day…I then spent five minutes looking in the mirror trying to see this mustache.
The best compliment is from my eldest son and was about 5 months ago, I was really pregnant (8 months and a half the baby was due 4 or 3 weeks later) and it came out like this :
I was cooking diner and my son came and told me : “Maman, you are BEAUTIFULL”, and then ran away.
Nobody before him ever told me I was beautifull… And of course that much pregnant I wasn’t ready to hear that any time soon (not even from my husband who hates that when I’m pregnant… Don’t ask me why I think I’m beautifull when I’m pregnant! Can wait to start baby number 4, but I’m waiting a little bit to rest a little bit 3 kids in 4 years I let you imagine in what shape of tiredness I am)
omg best thing i’ve heard all day!
Uh, should I be embarrassed that “boobs” is not a part of my child’s vocabulary? Apparently it’s pretty standard, and after all, I want my child to be able to speak well in the company of others.
When my son was 3 he saw my bare belly and yelled “it looks like a watermelon! All stripey and round” umm yeah. I wanted to say “and its all your fault” lol
When my now 10 year old son was about 5 and his sister was just entering her tweens and starting to develop, my son asks me ” Mommy, when do I get my boobies” I said ” you don’t, only girls get boobies” to that he said ” Lucky sister, she gets everything”
These are all hilarious. I’m looking forward to (and simultaneously dreading) the sorts of things that will come out of my son’s mouth when he starts getting really verbal.
“Mom, you are kinda cranky sometimes… but you are still a good person.”
My 3 year old refers to me (his dad) as “Pretend Mom”
I almost spit out my coffee! That is so hilarious AND sooooo like that age. Too cute!
My 5 year old daughter had a really, really tough time gettng ready for kindergarten this morning. All she likes to wear is dresses but the weather is finally starting to cool off so I made her wear pants today. Not good. I tried to give her choices, but when she refused to choose I had to make the decision about what she would wear. She threw a massive tantrum all the way to school and was even trying to pull her pants off in the school parking lot (she had them down around her ankles). Nice. I normally drop her off at the cafeteria and go on to work, but today she was way too upset. I walked her to her classroom and we sat outside until her teacher arrived. Her teacher is so great and invited us into her office so she could help calm my daughter down. Once my daughter was calmed down she went to give me a hug and she said, “Mommy, you smell like a hot dog.” Yep, right in front of her teacher she told me that I smell like a hot dog. She doesn’t even eat hot dogs so I’m not sure where that one came from. By the way, I do shower on a regular basis and I’m pretty sure I DON’T smell like a hot dog.
My 2 year old granddaughter is really into identifiying males from females by body parts. Upon walking into the bathroom where I had just gotten out of the shower and had my leg on the vanity putting on lotion, she walked under my raised leg and said “YUP bagina”
Love it! My 5 year old daughter has a thing with Maleficent. She’s completely obsessed with her, yet she’s afraid to go to bed sometimes because she thinks Maleficent is going to come into her room. No more watching Sleeping Beauty for a while for us.
I just read some of the previous posts and I’m releived to know that I’m not the only one that smells like hot dogs! 🙂
My friend’s daughter (and yes, it really was her daughter and not my own) was watching her get dressed and pointed to her and said “Mama, why do you have fur down there?” It’s truly amazing how your kids can completely humiliate you!
Well, my daughter told me that I looked like an elephant the other day. She probably meant a thin small-nosed elephant with glorious wavy locks.
My niece (3 or 4 at the time) used to say that my sister and I were lucky because even though our butts are big, they aren’t as big a baby hippo’s. Not sure how I was supposed to feel on that one!
My daughter called them BIG vagina band aids… I tried telling her it was like a diaper… She didn’t buy it.
I think I just died a little from laughter… LOL!!!!
I nannied for a family with a dog named Mr. Peabody when I was in my early 20s. One day in the car the boy (5 or 6 at the time) said, “Meggie, did you know that Mr. Peabody is old, like you?” When I didn’t respond (because I was trying not to laugh), he followed it up with, “Meggie, did you hear me? I said Mr. Peabody is OLD. LIKE YOU.” I’ve also gotten “is there a baby in there?” and I used to get “Do you have chicken pox?” when I had bad acne. Oh, also “your hair is big.” Long. My hair is long. Ah, children… gotta love them!
That’s happened to me before. I have a student right now who picks boogers and then tries to give them to us – the last time he handed one to Mary Jane (my assistant), she said, “take that to Ms. Megan.” Then I repeated it out loud to her so she could think about what she had said, and we both laughed. Then we told him to wipe it on a tissue, throw it away, and wash his hands with soap.
I was in my bra and underwear leaning over to put a DVD in for my 4-year-old when he said, “1, 2, 3 – why do you have 3 tummies?” I laughed – then vowed to get back in shape!
My five year old told me today he loves me, but he loves the cat a little more.
my 3 year old daughter tells me how pretty my ” hippos” are (nipples)
My 5yo grabbed my belly in the hallway of our school and said “Mommy, I think you are having another baby, like brother.” I asked her why and she said “because your belly is big.”
I was pumping milk for the baby the other day, and my 4 year old daughter walks in, stares at my boobs, and says, “I hope when I get older, I get doze big fings.”
…….aaaaaaaaand down went the shirt to cover myself.
Also, one of my students guessed my age at 47 today, yes that is about 15 years older than my real age. Ack. Good thing I know these particular kiddos have a very poor sense of time and age.
My 2 year old boy always grabs my boobs and says (with his dinosaur voice) “BIG BOOBIES”. Needless to say he’s going to follow in his dad’s footsteps as a bit of a boobs man.
My son after seeing my stomach points, and says (completely serious and slightly concerned) “Mommy, your tummy looks like Patrick when he eats too many patties. It’s all scrunched up.”
lolol i just smiled, like really you cannot be offended at that.
My daughter told me I have “boy color hair” brown….
not really a faux-compliment BUT it is something just tickles me. my 3 1/2 year tells me “i’m going to get big like daddy. then we will ride up front & you’ll ride in the back. in a special seat like the one i ride in now” HEHE… i can’t wait to get chauffered around 🙂
I got two whoopers from my nephew.. “Aunty Anna- you stink pretty” and “you’re squishy” as he pokes my belly. Thanks kid!
Great post and great comments! Just what I needed after struggling with a teething 15 month old all night :D. Humor keeps us sane right!?
My son is almost two and today he embarrassed me for the first time. I was on the throne, talking on the phone to a girlfriend and my son walks in and says, “Mama poo-poo”.
Just this past weekend, I was changing and my 4 year old says, “Mommy, you gotta BIIIGGG hiney. But pretty undie wears!” And then my 2 year old finishes up with laughing and repeating, “Mommy gotsa big hiney hiney hiney hiney!! My said hiney, Mommy!! My is funny!!” (Creative grammar: my = I)
Love this blog!! I have two boys as well, and every day is definitely adventureous!
This is along the same lines as the George Washington = Mommy bit. My 3 year old daughter saw Voldemort on a Harry Potter 7 poster on the side of a bus and exclaimed, “Grandpa!” I swear my dad is a lot better looking…
OH man, these are all hilarious! When I was pregnant with my second daughter, my first [three at the time] asked why my belly was so big. I replied, “Because I’m growing a baby in my belly.” She proceeded to glance at my butt and ask, “Are you growing one in your butt, too?” rofl
rofl, it starts SO young. My nephews are the same way. At 5, Jack informed me that my boobs are WAY bigger than their mom’s, but they don’t hang right. Lmao
haha yes boobs and babies are a good pair <3
oh bahahahahaha I just laughed so hard i farted and then that made me laugh even more lol
good one-this is making my night
Oh there have been quite a few! I told my 3-yo that I was going to take a shower and she said “Yeah, you smell like dead flies. Dead flies and dead DAISIES!”. Same kid that pointed out to the whole locker room that I have a chubby tummy, my nipples “point down”, and I have “eyebrows” on my “butt” (aka pubic hair). Of course, my older kid told me when she was 4 that she was so sad because she had a hard tummy (pointing to her little kid 6-pack) and my tummy was sooooo squishy and she wanted a squishy tummy like mine. She also liked to mention my stinky coffee breath. Ah, the love!
I’ve tried to explain it to my daughter, but your son’s reply was the best I’ve ever heard! It made me cry I was laughing so hard…thank you! (I think!)
Oh god I’m on the train laughing mg head off on my own reading this. Too funny!!!
Last night we were at dinner at Benihana for my birthday. The ladies sitting next to us at the table asked my son if he was being nice to me that day. He then went into a diatribe about how I’m fat, and even though I go to the gym, I’m still fat. He then proceeded to extrapolate by grabbing my upper arms and saying, “SEE?!?” very loudly.
Sigh.
My 5 year old told me my nose breath stinks when climbing into bed at 6 am on a Saturday morning.
We had friends over for dinner last Sunday, and my almost 3-year-old son climbs into my lap, hugs me, and then reaches up to touch my hair gently and says, “Mommy have gray hair.” OMG! REALLY?! I realize there’s a lot more gray than there used to be, but now there’s enough for my 3 year old to take note of? Fabulous.
I colored it on Tuesday night.
THIS made me laugh out loud. Alas, no farting. I love that you told blogworld this.
My daughter asked me if I wanted a cupcake. I said no. She asked why not. I told her I was trying to get healthier, and that I wanted my big soft belly to get smaller. She started to cry. She LIKES my big soft belly. Aww.
When my daughter was 3, she announced to everyone at the Thanksgiving dinner table: “My mommy has hair down there!” When she was 7, she saw me buying panty liners and asked loudly, “Mommy? Are those diapers? Why are you buying diapers? Do you wear diapers?” Several customers in the aisle and a stock boy did all they could to contain their laughter.
Oh this made me laugh hysterically!
WoW…just wow. My 3yo drew a picture of my bf with nipples and a “pregnant” belly…much to his dismay I posted it on my fb, it was just too funny not to share. I can’t stop laughing at your story.
My kids are huge Queen fans. My 9yo especially loves “Fat Bottom Girls” (See where this is going?)
Anyhoo, we are listening to the song and my 9yo goes, “Mommy, you are a Fat Bottom Girl. And you make the rockin’ world go ’round” (those are the lyrics to the song)
I laughed my Fat Bottom off.
A friend had her son tell her, when she was dressed up to go out, with make-up etc, she was pretty as a fish …in fairness they did have some beautiful coloured fish.
When my 2 year old learnt the word penis he was listing off all the people in the house who had one: “Harper (himself) has a penis, Daddy has a penis, Iggy (his baby brother) has a penis, Kingston (the dog) has a penis, Mummy has…” here he paused. I quickly interjected with “no, Mummy doesn’t have a penis, Mummy…” but before I could finish he nodded at me and sagely said “broken”. Yes, hunny, yes I am; now!
LMAO!!! My son recently turned 2. I have always sung to him. I like to sing! So One time I was singing him a song while we were playing with blocks on the floor and he stood up, walked over to me and put his hand over my mouth while pouting, saying “No singing, moommmy”
My brother has always (since a very young age) called my mother “Jell-O BoBo Hiney.” I hope I don’t get that kind of cottage cheese thigh reminder from my kid.
My mum was similarly non-plussed when my younger brother asked her (at about age 4) “Mummy, did you have a pet dinosaur when you were little”…
My son thinks I am more like a man also.
I give him a hug and kiss telling him he’s me boy and without fail the little bugger calls me his man :/
I just got my bangs cut last night, and had been pulling them back with a wrap around band because they were too long. Well, I guess my older son forgot I had bangs because when I came home from the salon, this is what he said,
“Mama, your haircut is pretty. But not these…these are crazy. Pull them back please.”
My friend, who DOES NOT have a bubble butt either, told me her son came up to her once and started making her butt jiggle with his hands (you know, smacking it). He was beyond pleased with himself and told her he loved her “bouncy bum.”
I asked my two-year-old if she knew mommy’s name. She looks at me very seriously, nods and replies “Monster”
Oh I’m late to this party! These comments are all hilarious 🙂
My son recently said to me, while I was trying on clothes in a store, “Pretty mummy” then paused for effect before saying, “You’re REALLY BIG!” (emphasis totally his). Someone in a nearby stall giggled. Thanks kid.
My 3 year old hasn’t mentioned my squishy belly yet… but i am waiting for it… though she has recently started drawing people, i noticed that all the pictures of me has a strange scribble under the chin, which none of the other people (Daddy and her sister) had. SO i asked her… ‘whats that darling?’ (pointing and weird scribble) ‘Your nunu!’ I hope that is clear enough… I think i am going to stop sharing baths with her… hmm… naaaah!
my 4 year old covers my mouth and tells me to stop!
after a long week, i was able to slept in on a saturday
(thanks to dad;) and when i opened up the bedroom door, my (then) 1 1/2 year old son looked at me and said “EEEWWWW”
:-/
my 9 y/o recently relayed a conversation with a bully at school, who was apparently calling me fat. My son’s response? “Fat moms make brownies & cookies, you’re just jealous cause everyone knows skinny moms only make salads. and if my mom sat on you, it’d hurt, but your mom couldn’t hurt anyone.” And yes, i laughed long and loud, as i pulled cookies out of the oven:)
My 5 month old does too! She did this when she was in my belly and I thought I would be done with that business once she was born. Sadly, no. The same time every evening, nursing to sleep while jamming her pointy toes in my belly button.
my daughter, 4, was looking at me while she was talking and then suddenly said “wait… mommy…. come closer.” and grabbed my head and began investigating my eyes…. “what are those cracks?” ugh.
My mother’s lullabies used to make my
brother cry… lol
A few years ago, I had twin step children. One night after a nasty fall, I threw my 3 year old step daughter in the shower with me so I could wash her off and see where the blood was coming from… I was in PANIC mode. Then, she lightened the mood. We were both naked and she points to my vagina and says so joyfully “mommy has hair there too!” …. obviously she was fine.
the fact that I hadn’t taken care of my lady parts was NOT fine.
A few years ago, my then 3 year old step daughter had a NASTY fall into some mud. In panic mode, I stripped us both naked and threw her in the shower. While I’m crying and trying to find the source of blood, she gleefully squeals “mommy has hair there too!” while pointing at my lady parts.
She was fine… the fact that I hadn’t shaved and was compared to my husbands ex, however, was NOT fine.
and my computer decided to delete my original comment and then post it after I re-typed it. Ugh.
My 4 year old tells me that I have REALLY floppy boobies and a BIG bum. I’m 5′ 2″ and have basically no boobs or bum. NICE. Thanks Kate, I love you too! xo
My son told me that he thinks I should play basketball. I asked why and he said “I think you would be good at it- plus you need to get skinny and jump around.” Way to butter me up before dropping the bomb of the real reason!
My in-laws were showing my kids some pictures of grandpa next to this massive dump truck. My then 4 year old said…”Grandpa, you look like a DORK!”. And grandpa was a bit taken aback when my 6 year old piped up…”He means a DWARF, not a dork.” (Which was true as he meant that grandpa looked so tiny next to the big truck!) Too funny.
When my oldest was like 6 or 7, I had on this new dress that was black & red, and my husband said “doesn’t mommy look like a rose?” and she said “yeah! A big fat one!” and oh how she meant it in the nicest way. Haha!
My sister was watching that old movie Overboard (ok, it wasn’t so old at the time) and our mom came walking through the room just after the part where Kurt calls Goldie a slut… or maybe after she gets off the phone with her mom and says “I am NOT a slut” all whiney. My sister says “Way to walk like a slut mom!” Haha!!!
My daughter was complimenting my outfit one day. I had a dress with a wide black belt on. She said, “Mommy! You look fancy like Santa Clause!”
Shame.
This one was for my husband. My at the time almost 4 year old was in the shower with my hubby one morning while I was brushing my teeth. I over hear my son say “WHOA daddy! That’s a big butt!” I started snickering to myself. Then I heard my husband say “That’s not my butt and stop trying to touch it.” Needless to say they have not taken a shower together since.
Took my 4 year old to a Halloween party last week. I applied white paint to both our faces (we were meant to be zombies), and, in a stroke of last-minute genius, grabbed a lipstick and tried to make my eyes look like bloody sockets. (NB – don’t do this if you need to look normal again anytime soon. It doesn’t come off easily!) Asked “Whaddaya think?”, the boy replied: “Oh Mummy, you look *so* pretty!” I think he’s learnt from his dad – if Mummy puts on make up, always tell her she looks good, no matter what!
Oh…and he used to delightedly tell anyone who would listen that Mummy has a beard on her bottom.
*Squeeze* “Mom, your arms are so soft.”
I seriously just laughed so hard at this I am crying like nobody’s business and it’s taken me a long time to calm back down again. L.M.A.O.
My daughter is a twig. She has no butt to speak of…nothing…nada…she sits on bones, I tell you. I had the same body type as a child, so I sympathize with her. People are always making comments about it and after one incident when she was about 3 or 4 I could tell she felt badly, so I told her when I was little, I didn’t have a bum either. She looked at me and said, “That’s OK….you grew a big one!”
Ben and Jerry’s will do that for ya.
I LOVE all of this stuff! It freakin’ makes me laugh my head off and brings back memories of my kids when they were little. They are now 31, 30 and 25 but I can still relate to all this mommy stuff. Keep it coming!
I was reading a book to my 5 year old in which one of the characters, a teacher, was obviously pregnant. I said to him, “Look, that teacher is going to have a baby,” and he responded, “No, I think she just has a belly like yours, Mom.”
I know I’m about a month late on this post, but I’m new to this blog and I had to share a funny:
I was about 7 months pregnant with my youngest and son (at the time was 4) asked me “How did you get the baby in your belly? Did you EAT him?”
I cracked up laughing – apparently I eat babies. :p
From my 3 year old this week:
“You’re a really good fly killer, Mommy.”
Ya, we need to check the basement out…
My 3 1/2 year old told me I smelled like trash & gumballs one day.
Such a sweet kid lol
Im not a mom (yet) but when my niece was 3 or 4 I was saying something about being chubby and she said “Auntie, your not chubby. And even if you were, I’d still love you.” I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. it was so sweet.
When I was pregnant with her sister, my 2 year old walked up and said “Mommy, that baby must be getting really big, huh?”
“Umm, no. She’s only about the size of an apple seed. Why do you ask?”
“Well, the baby must be getting big, because your belly is REALLLLLLLLY fat!”
(I believe I was about 10 weeks pregnant at the time.)
LOL! That reminds me of that show “Dinosaurs” where the baby had his Mama and his Not-the-Mama.
I know everyone has finished writing their stories here, but when my brother was much younger (about 6)he tried to compliment me, I was wearing a shirt with a fluffy cat on it and it said “I’m not fat, I’m fluffy” so my brother looked at me and said, “Michelle you aren’t fat, you just have a lot of skin”
So, this was not a compliment, but in light of all the comments on private parts, I thought I’d add that my daughter (3) thinks that lady parts are called “bottom” because I always ask if she’s wiped her bottom, whether or not she has peed or pooped. So the other day she says “Boys have a weiner and girls have two bottoms.” Like, I guess, a front bottom for peeing and a back bottom for pooping. Makes sense…but sounded funny!
When i was [regnant with my daughter, i told my then 3 year old niece that she was going to have a new baby cousin and that she was in my tummy, her responce?
“OH NO GET IT OUT!”
I had my daughter in a public restroom and i was using the toilet. She decided to yell:
“are you POOPING?”
“Mommy, you go poop?”
“YAY MOMMY YOU POOPED!” then proceeded to clap her hands and high five me.
My son a couple of weeks ago told me “You can’t come sit on my bed Mommy”. I asked him why not and I quote “Your butt is too big and will break it”. Thanks sweetie.
Small daughter rubbed me on my size 12 hips and looked at me adoringly and said “Mumma, you so fat!” like it was the most beautiful endearment of all time. I reminded her of this compliment recently (she is now 6) and she just about died lol
My son’s daycare teacher was doing a chart of reasons why the kids love their moms for Mother’s Day. He said “Cause her boobs are soft & squishy like pillows!” and threw a tantrum when the teacher suggested he choose something else to write on the chart lol
We have a magnet of Caravaggio’s Medusa (headless, snake-haired, screaming) on our fridge, and my 2 y.o. son brought it to me one day and said, “Mommy! It’s you!” So I took a picture of it & changed my FB profile picture. 🙂
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/42/Medusa_by_Caravaggio_2.jpg/300px-Medusa_by_Caravaggio_2.jpg
My young son peered at my scalp whilst I was bent over tying his shoe-“Gee Mom, I think your bald spot is getting better!”. And I thought no one had noticed my thinning hair…
My son did this, but not to me, to my friend, which makes it that much more mortifying! I’m 17 weeks pregnant, but due to severe morning sickness I haven’t gained any weight yet, so my 8 year old has an unrealistic view of what normal pregnant people look like. My friend, who is NOT large, came by in gym clothes, so her tiny mama pooch from having 3 kids (we all have them) was somewhat visible. My husband asked her how her babies were doing (referring to her three already birthed children). My 8 year old, thinking in pregnancy mode says, “I knew you’re having twins cuz yours is bigger than Mama’s.” Oh my gawd!!! Thanks kid.
I was out in the garden weeding last weekend when Mr4 told me that “You looking beautiful, Mama. Like when you are cooking.”
Housewife love.
so, I know this is from a year ago, but your blogging is hillarious and when I am not batteling between my own 5 1/2 yr old and 3 yr old, i read up on your blogs, cause they make me laugh and realize I’m not going thru the same thing, ha.
So, my daughter was getting out of the bath and ran into the living room, naked, I like to joke around and do the “fe-fi-fo-fum… I’m gunna get your little bum” we laughed and I told her she’s got the cutest bum and she said, as a compliment with a huge, proud smile, “Yep, it’s big just like yours” ya, thanks kid,thanks!
My daughter just turned two, so the only verbal compliment I’ve gotten is “Mommy pitty” which is great. I did get a hilariously disdainful look while singing “Don’t Stop Believing” at the top of my lungs in the car the other day, though.
My daughter says that her dad and I are going to “get” a baby because we are fat (she is four) she is also very honest…when our cat died, that was the first thing she told everybody.
This isn’t actually toward myself but it is pretty funny. My son is 3 and a complete Mama’s baby, so when I offered to help my sister move (because I have the giant mom car and she still has the compact fuel efficient type car – can you read the jealousy *sigh*) he of course had to come with me. We were headed back to her new house with yet another load of God only knew what with a very tired, ready for dinner, almost bed time, hasn’t had a nap all day child when suddenly he stops whining for nuggets and sniffles and in all seriousness says “Mommy?”
I sigh because I have no doubt this is going to be a ploy to try to get me to magically produce nuggets (and not just any nuggets MC-NUGGETS) from thin air “Yes baby?”
“Sissy (that’s what he calls her because that’s what I’ve called her since I was little. Candace is so hard to say when you’re little anyway) doesn’t drive so good.”
I snort and say “She doesn’t?”
“No, she drives REALLY bad. I think she should ride with us, it’s safer”
Ya know, because he’s 3 and is the complete authority on proper driving technique.
Also another one not directed at me…most of my ‘compliments’ tend to be of the squishy belly variety but he then tells me it’s comfy so it’s all good. Recently my son was watching my boyfriend attempt to do something. I can’t really remember what it was but it truly wasn’t something I knew how to do anyway. And he seemed to be having a hard time doing it – which translates into it was taking too long for a 3 year old’s attention span. My son plants his little hands on his little hips (he totally gets his attitude from me) and again in all seriousness says “Oh just let Mommy do it. You don’t know how.”