Crappy Boy is pooping on the toilet.
At the same time, Crappy Baby says he needs to pee. When a child is new to potty training you have do something. Immediately. You can’t say, “Okay, just hold it. The toilet is occupied.” I mean, you can. But it is risky.
We do have a little potty chair. But first of all, Crappy Baby prefers to go on the big one. Second of all, we left it in the car.
Only one toilet. Two kids who need it.
Crappy Papa thinks fast. The tub! He can just pee down the tub drain.
He lowers him into the tub and then he sits on the ledge.
Crappy Baby grasps onto the water spout and does a squat, trying to position his little butt directly over the drain hole.
It looks uncomfortable so Crappy Papa says:
He explains that he can stand and point his penis at the drain.
But Crappy Baby doesn’t adjust his position.
Crappy Boy asks about poop.
And Crappy Boy is right!
Ha! Love the squinted eyes while he’s squatting!
I was thinking the same thing! LOL
Best. Drawing. Ever.
I totally agree.
It’s Crappy Baby’s proud smile and Crappy Boy’s pointing in the second last picture that got me!
I lost it at the first pic! I did a massive double take then.. Well it is about peeing – and that tap is at an unfortunate place for Crappy Pappa!!!
that was my favorite part too! crappy boy is so amused!!
+1
Dying…
im creep out so funny
hahahahahaha! Oh man that’s priceless! I love the little squinty eyes at the end too lol!
ha ha ha
Hilarious! We are also a house of two little boys, a daddy, a mommy but one toilet, so I get this. 🙂
man so lol crazy stuff lol.
Ah. 2nd comment. Give me a cookie. My daughter’s obsession with this blog finally pays off! She’s been checking it all morning! And yuck. poop. at least it’s not in your hand anymore !!!
OMG, I just about died laughing…. at the fact that my husband and I have done EXACTLY the same thing with our youngest son!
Dang it. 5th.
No one cares but you Umma
I care that you care Umma! 🙂
Laura, I care that you care that I care! Thanks for being nice! I was excited to not be comment 242344. If that’s so wrong, then I don’t wanna be right. Haters gonna Hate 😛
There’s always the backyard….which was potty of choice for my younger son.
Classic.
My friend’s 3yo still insists that he can only pee outside.
Ssh, I actually encourage peeing outside as it seems to keep the foxes away – marking your territory and all that…
Oh Amber best post ever, so funny. My second one isn’t potty trained yet so haven’t had this problem, but I’ve had to curtail my own bathroom time due to urgent “mummy I need to wee” calls
Yeah, I sooo feel your pain. It is my husband and I, our two preschoolers, one toddler and ONE TOILET. It never fails that any time I go in the bathroom that our oldest develops the sudden urge to go as well.
In Elimination Communication, the “bathtub pee” is often the saving grace from a ‘potty strike’ or other reluctance. When my daughter was a toddler, there were times when we knew she had to pee, but she was refusing to sit on the potty. We’d offer the bathtub — and like MAGIC she would happily stand naked in the tub and pee.
I don’t think she ever poo’d in the tub, but EC’d kids are often nearly-perfectly “poop-trained” even just a few months old (I can honestly say there was less than 5 times her whole first few years that we had a poop ‘accident’). The peeing is what’s more unpredictable. But even if she DID poo in the tub, that’s much easier to clean up, than trying to clean it out of a diaper, clothes, and smooshed all up in her little girly bits!
Do you know of any websites or anything with free info on EC? We’re getting ready to have our first (any day now!) and I don’t want to have to spend $30 on a book to get all the info we need on that.
I bet someone might get it for you if you asked. Baby shower type deal.
If you just google Elimination Communication or Infant Potty Training there is plenty to read for free 🙂 my advice to you, once you start practicing it with your little one, TRUST YOURSELF! If you think about your LO having to go, they have to go! Good Luck 🙂
Ashley, try your public library! Mine had a few books on EC.
Yes, Google as Jennifer stated. Also, the best book I read was “The Diaper Free Baby.” It might be at your library, or Amazon has it for $11.
I borrowed books from our library. If they don’t have it, they can usually get it via interlibrary loan. Hope that helps!
@Heather my daughter is almost 3 and will not poop on the potty. she would rather just squat and go in her pants. NOT FUN! She does pretty well with peeing if I stay on top of her about it. Do you think if I try and have her poop on the tub it would help?
My daughter was getting close to 3 when we finally figured out the problem. She always would hide if she needed to poop, she had gotten to the point though where she was in undies because she was so good about peeing in the potty. Anyway, one day we took the kids’ little play tent and put the kids’ potty in there. She went right in and pooped on the potty. Few days of that and she was able to move on to the regular potty with one stipulation….she needed to be alone. She is now almost 6 and cannot poop if someone is with her, she needs her privacy lol. Hope this helps!
Ahahahahahahaha! That’s golden!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in this same situation. Now that both of my boys can pee standing up, they do synchronized peeing (side by side). But they can’t do synchronized pooping, so there had been times where one would end up in the tub. Eeeck. I need to throw our tub away. :-/
My boys recently discovered that they can cross streams into the toilet. They find this hilarious! Thankfully, we do have a second bathroom for when they both need to go.
We always call this “playing swords” at our house
My boys call it “skull and cross pee”!
Haven’t you ever seen Ghostbusters? You NEVER cross the streams. Seriously, it’s asking for trouble.
HA HA HA HA Neal!
OMG – too funny, and 100% correct Neal! This is why we have a house with three toilets .. and worth every red cent!!!
Oh, I think I just peed my pants a little. I should have read this in the tub. 😉
Bwahahahaha!
We have the same situation! 😉
One bathroom, two little boys! They are 11months and 1 week apart…so we’ll be doing potty training right about the same time for them! This is gonna be a toughy!! 🙂
You have such a bright outlook in your posts! 😀
My co-workers must think I’m crazy…because I’m totally LOLing in my office. The squinty-eyes are the perfect touch!
LOL! Yes, the squinty eyes make the illustration perfect. I can almost hear the grunting 🙂 At least that’s what my little guy would be doing…
I had my 2 boys in the bathtub together when they were 1 and 2. My youngest pooped in there and my 2-year-old was scarred for a long time. Every time we’d try to give him a bath after that, he’d scream that “the poop is gonna come out the drain” and get him. Rough times.
Oh dear… that made me laugh and say “awww” at the same time.
Laughing SO hard!!! You gotta do what you gotta do!
I am crying from laughing so hard. Hilarious!
I tend to keep the potty in the bathtub so when my son pees over the edge, it’s easy cleanup. I’ve definitely had him get up off the potty, only to squat down and poop next to it in the bathtub. I’ve also had him poop in the tub while we were showering together. Fun fun!
DOH! Hahahahaha! I’ll make note of this for our potty training.
Had to do the silent laugh at work while my eyes welled up with tears!
HILARIOUS!! The pics are so great!
While potty-training my first son, I was living with my in-laws. My brother-in-law and his new wife (who is not a big fan of small children) also moved in due to construction on their new home hitting a snag.
Six adults, a potty-training toddler, and one bathroom… You can imagine the issues. So glad that’s over!
We’ve let the kids pee in the tub before when the toilet is occupied. I am so grateful that poop wasn’t involved. Although, I could totally see that happening to my husband. That would be his luck!!
I adore your pictures. I feel like my life is more complete now. How sad that I am serious.
Laughing….hysterically! Squinty eyes, who would’ve thought lmao!
At least the bath wasn’t full of water. I’d imagine it’s not too bad to pick up a poo then, but when it’s full of water and the poo is soft… well, I threw away that sieve!
When we were potty training our 2nd, we’d put him on the potty before bathtime, and then put him and his sister in the tub… can’t even begin to tell you how many times I had to use an old butter tub to scoop little poo nuggets out of the tub, drain it, clean it and put the kids back in! It was like he waited until he was in the water to poop!
Warm water, soothing music, aroma therapy…if it works for laboring women, it should work for reluctant toddlers, right?
And my daughter’s very proud of her poops, almost to the extent her mother was proud of my daughter when she came out. “Hard work, Daddy,” she says. But then she always wants to examine it. “Pretty, pretty poop. Nice poop.”
I’ll leave jokes about how Amber’s “crappy” kids to to your imagination.
Sing “Scoopin’ Poop with a Butter Tub”, Mama! It always makes me cry!
Haha, I love it. Sooo been there!
Love how a potty-training kid can’t tell the difference between whether he needs to pee or poop. Mine did the same thing this morning. Guess I got lucky that he sat on the little potty to do his business. Of course, the tub might have been easier to clean…
1 bathroom here too…which is why there are 3 little potties in the house, and a travel one in the car. Neither my husband or I often get to go to the bathroom alone. ever. it’s like using the toilet is contagious.
OMG that was hilarious! I love the pictures. The little hiney, the squinty eyes, the poop. Though the faucet was positioned precariously in penis position on Papa in picture one…. LOL
LOL, I totally thought the same thing about the faucet position! And I love your use of alliteration in that sentence, joanne! 😉
My 15 month old daughter is potty training, and we do the tub or shower when she is not in the mood to sit. She is also VERY interested in watching daddy pee. Lately when I take her to the toilet she sits for a brief second before she tells me “all done”. There is nothing in the potty. She then proceeds to stand next to the potty and pee on the floor. Daddy is now *sitting* to pee pee when baby girl is near 🙂
ADORABLE (albeit messy for the moment) – haha
This is the reason I’m glad I was not sharing a house with anyone when I was toilet training my son – he didn’t find out men stand to pee for a loooooong time after he’d learned sitting down (way less mess!)
Doh! Not sharing with anyone other than my son, obviously!
Oh, fun! Well, at least Crappy Baby is adaptable, right?
I love that he’s holding onto the spout… *tee hee*
Poop. Where the laughs are.
Always good for a laugh whether it’s small children or adult women 😉
LMAO!! Oh my goodness, too hilarious. Hey I have an idea for a post, my son just took his first steps last night, not even 24 hours ago, maybe you can recount on that experience 😀
This has got to be the cutest pooping picture I’ve ever seen. <3
OMG too funny!!!!
This? Awesome.
Try 1 bathroom, a mommy, a daddy, 2 preteen girls and a 4 year old boy who, lately, has been holding far too long. Yeah, we’re on a first name basis with our old Maple tree….
C’mon, Papa, how did you not see that coming? (Not that I’d have any better ideas.)
The joys I have to look forward to! My son has no desire to actually potty train right now and is actually afraid to sit on his potty. Any tips for that little fear?
Sorry, no idea. Maybe reassurance? Stickers inside the potty to make it more friendly?
OMG so funny. Still I think I’d take I’d do a little happy dance at that stage. It took almost a year after pee training for my guy to grasp pooping in the potty.
I just laughed out loud so hard waiting for my daughter’s glasses to get fixed that everyone in the office looked at me
We just started SERIOUSLY potty training this weekend, and my son tried to do this on his potty. It looked a little like he was trying be Demi Moore in Striptease, but there was poop and pee involved and it was actually pretty gross.
Love it! I am WAY past this stage (college). My crappy son had trouble potty training for pooping, not peeing. After much analysis (by me) he confessed that if he SAT down he knew his penis would fall off, like mine did, and the babysitter’s did. My very private husband had to step up and start some communal pooping to prove that sitting was not eunuch-making.
oh my!! sounds like he has quite the imagination!!
Aaaawww and oh my God so funny!!
That is too funny… Best comment ever…
An crying with laughter : )
LMAO!!!! We have two and a half baths, but there are many times when the kids insist on wanting to use the same bathroom, unfortunately its usually the half bath, so every once in a while someone ends up using the floor before I have a chance to ferry them to the upstairs!
The kids have a little net for scooping up fishy bath toys. I have had to use it to scoop up poop out of the water before. Fun times.
We have often used the bathtub pee as well. Now that we live in the country (and despite having 3 bathrooms) my preteen just goes outside, like grandpa. Might I suggest a bagless trash can for those emergency 1 bathroom poops. At least when you can see it coming >.<
Oh my! Why bagless?
LMAO!!! HILARIOUS! We are going to start the potty training with our daughter soon and I think I’m going to buy Oh Crap! Potty Training. I don’t know the first thing about all of this so I figured I better get help!
Seriously just woke my nursing 11month old while laughing myself silly!
So funny! Can’t wait to show the hubby this!
the poop is why they make toilet paper. in my home I am known as the poop-fairy.
Priceless! Thank you so much for the wonderful giggle! I am looking forward to potty training my Crappy Baby soon, and I know these things will happen. LOL! I love your stories and pictures. They always keep me laughing. Thank you!
hahaha!! My 12 month old jsut pooped in the bath tub for the second time last night! I can see it on her face a second before the poop drops! Gah! then I have to sequester her to the back of the tub while it drains so she wont rub it all over, then take a bunch of TP and pick it up and put it in the toilet, then take the shower head and rinse out the tub… all while trying to not let her play with all the “pieces and crumbs”!
Too funny!!
Hilarious! Makes me think of that Lysol commercial where the kid tells his mom he pooped. She looks in the toilet and asks, “Where?” And he points to the tub. PS I too have had a “poop in the tub” story.
ah…nice try tho’ Crappy Papa! love crappy baby’s little butt cheeks — so funny and cute.
All I can think of now is when my niece was about 3 and still have a few minor issues with poop training. (She held it to long and didn’t always make it to the potty before the poop came.) She and my sister and BIL were swimming in their pool. She’d been taught that while swimming she’s allowed to pee behind their shed through her suit. (It washed off in the pool. Whatever.) Well, one day she said she had to poop. So my sister hurries and takes the kid’s swimsuit off (fenced in yard). She starts running to the house to the closest bathroom, stops at the garage door and yells “I’M NOT GONNA MAKE IT!” She then ran over to the small patch of grass under their deck and pooped in the grass! I give her credit for not pooping on the concrete. My sister nearly wet herself laughing. My BIL, however, was disgusted and whined a lot. My sister handed him a roll of paper towels, a walmart bag and told him to get over it. Haha!
“for life’s bleachable moments”
Even though we only have one child, this makes me VERY glad we have two bathrooms.
Dear Amber, this is an awful way to treat a poor poory chair. How could you have left it in the car? It might have felt lonely, empty ir even worse, dusty and dehydrated.
😉
Hahaha! In our house my daughter is newly potty trained, and I’m pregnant. So I’m usually the one thinking…oh no, do I get off the pot quickly or see if she can hold it. I’ve tried to get her to use the tub, but she just won’t. It has to be the toilet. Things get interesting around here, that’s for sure!
Lol, yay I’m not the only one who’s had my son pee in the tub. I had often wondered about that but with one bathroom and four people you do what you gotta do. My mom used to have my sister and me share the toilet. She would have us turn sideways on the potty and we would both sit with our backs to each other. It worked you may have to try it next time.
I am AMUSED. TOO funny! Also I am confounded that you only have one toilet in your house! We live in *almost* 900 square feet of townhouse and even we have two toilets! That’s it, you need a double potty bathroom. Just install an extra commode in your already existing bathroom and…Voila! Just think of what it will do for your resale value!
We spent over a year and a half with only one toilet for our family. It was an absolute necessity to keep a potty seat in the bathroom, and I never once minded cleaning it out because of the alternative (illustrated here with far more humor than I ever could have felt)!
My dad introduced our two little boys to the “peepee tree” concept. Any tree can become your very own personal “peepee tree” once you’ve peed on it.
We moved from our one bathroom home last year (2 adults, 2 toddlers and a baby) and I have to say the thing I am MOST thankful for in our new house is our TWO BATHROOMS!!! How ever did I live with just one?!
Oh crikey!
You have truly surpassed yourself on this one!
The imagery, the insightfulness of Crappy Boy, the nonchalant, laid back attitude of Crappy Papa coming to an abrupt end.
Wonderful stuff!
I have three children, 9, 7 and 5. When my youngest was still potty training we often had issues with his older brother in the bathroom. Unfortunately this communicated itself to my youngest as that he should just go find a random corner to poop in instead (In a sneaky way.) Thankfully we have hardwood floors but for a few weeks he would /not/ stop pooping in his sisters’ room. She was horrified at the tender age of six, and thus the introduction of how annoying little brothers can be really hit home.
Crappy Baby isn’t going to want to use the toilet anymore after this! It’s way more fun to go to the bathroom where you’re not supposed to 😉 Way to think on your feet, Crappy Papa!
Who got to clean it up?!?! I laughed so hard, I spat out cheerios!!
Oh no! This is one of those moments that isn’t funny now, but you’ll laugh hysterically at later! BTW, since it’s not me, I’m laughing now!
Kate
http://www.justdelivered.net
This is my fear! LOL! One bathroom in our house and 2 lil ones racing for it! It has almostttt happened so many times, lol!
Oh my! I am in tears from laughing so hard. Life with boys is ALWAYS interesting.
Oh. my. word. I laughed so hard at this one!
We only have one bathroom at our house too and when I was pregnant with Little Man, I was potty training 2 year old Princess. She started out on the big potty because I felt it was easier than using a potty chair, but soon realized that the need to pee every 8 minutes when I’m pregnant meant that I was often found doing “the potty polka” in the bathroom begging her to finish going potty so Mommy could have a turn. We bought a potty chair shortly thereafter.
We’re going through that right now with my husband. He spends half his life pooping for some reason and our oldest is newly potty trained and has to go NOW. I kind of enjoy him having to rush off the toilet for once!
LOL
Amber,
I think you need to post a link for the where is daddy when you need to leave the house post. Lisa and Em could use a laugh at how the comments all ended up being about husbands and poop 🙂
btw, it never stops amazing me how this blog brings so many parents together! thank you, a million times, thank you!
I love that crappy baby and crappy boy are pooping together. That’s true bonds they’ll always have. Brothers that poop together stay together.
omg, LOL.
You make me laugh!!!!
Long time reader, first time poster… yup, that’s how much I love this post!!!
OMG! Hilarious!! Thanks for always cracking me up!!
I’ve never commented before but this drawing is worthy of a comment. Hilarious–his little butt and gripping the spout. Well done.
We call an accidental poop in the tub “poop soup”.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA – LOVE IT!
We have a boy and a girl, fortunately we also have 2 toilets. Just trying to convince the girl that she should go on the toilet, ramping up for potty training. She’ll jump on before getting in the bath at night, but generally just jumps off again and says “all done!”. Trying to get our son to be dry through the night as well.
You don’t become a parent if you’re afraid of challenges right? 🙂
With a two and three year old boy, we keep a spare baby toilet in the bathroom. For emergency poops. For pees I tell them to use the shower drain! The funny part is that I have to admit I’ve eyed that baby toilet a time or two when one of the boys was on a long haul and kept insisting he wasn’t done!
hahahaha … gross 😛
Oh, and my mom always just gave the one who had too poo a coolwhip container or whatever plastic tub she had … you know how everyone used to reuse those? We have a whole cupboard full, so she’d just grab one and then dump it and toss it away … much more efficient than the bathtub … of course, Crappy Baby did say he had to pee … little shit (literally).
Hmm. My child also pooped in the bathtub today. Hope it’s not the start of a new revolution.
Love the pics!
My girls actually perfected sitting on the toilet together in emergencies like this. It was so weird! One would come in doing the pee dance and the other would scootch over and they’d sit on the potty and go together. They were quite upset when they got too big to fit at the same time.
roflmao — again
ROTFL! That just made my crappy day less crappy! Lol, thats priceless!
Hey, he might just be starting a new trend! That having the faucet to hold onto while straining might really catch on 🙂
You are hilarious, and my crappy bf would’ve done the same thing. That said, my kids always have to poop at the same time.
This really is a crappy picture!
(I’m amazed no one else has said this yet, or at least hadn’t when I read through the comments. And now someone probably has and I look like an idiot)
I shudder to think this is what I have to look forward to! 🙂 Who cleaned it up?
You are brilliant. As a mother of three under five I can totally empathize while laughing my ass off. Thank you!
This was a “so funny I had to show my husband” post. 🙂
They’re the best my husbands addicted 🙂
My daughter had a UTI about a year ago. The doctor couldn’t diagnos in his office and sent the urine sample out over the weekend for further testing. Over the weekend it hurt her so bad to go pee that she refused to do it unless she was standing in the shower. I had no choice, it’s what we had to do. I walked away for just a second to get a fresh towel and I came back to find her stamping poop down the drain of the shower. I never in my life thought I would have to tell someone that we DO NOT POOP IN THE SHOWER. To funny!!!
LOL. Poop in the bathtub. Before I had kids I would have DIED before fishing a piece of poop out of the tub.
Is it because these children came out of our bodies that we lose all inhibitions about disgusting things?
No, that can’t be it, I’m sure adoptive Mommies and Daddies have cleaned plenty of poop from bathtubs as well. 🙂
Hmmmmmm.. Must be love I guess!
Crappy Baby has the cutest butt! What’s worse is when you are on the toilet in the middle of something and they come bursting in demanding you get off!
Yep been there.
OMG I actually just burst out laughing at work!!
Funniest post! Brilliant!!
That is priceless. LOVED it! And I could so see that happening in our house as we have three kids (plus mom and dad) and only one. tiny. bathroom. Thanks for making me laugh about it!
It’s a good thing you didn’t draw the tub faucet lower in the first picture. Otherwise Crappy Papa would have been well endowed! I read this post on my android, so I noticed the close proxy while scrolling down. Lol!!
You crack me the hell up! Love your sense of humor and your drawings. Thanks for being a smile in my day.
We actually converted a closet into a tiny (your knees hit the wall when you sit on the toilet) bathroom just for this same reason! It was that or we’ have to keep peeing in the yard…
Oh my gosh, I can’t stop laughing. The squinted eye and holding the faucet? Dying.
And once again, I believe you’ve given me a peek into my own future. But I can’t say I’m happy about it ; )
Cackling out loud. Love the squinty eyes!
That is awesome.
We’re about to move from a large house to a very compact apartment. It has two bathrooms, but I just keep thinking about what else we could use that space for instead. Until now. Thank you for helping me see the true value of a second toilet.
My 15 month old dropped a big fat deuce this morning after his shower. Picking it all up was pretty horrifying.
And you should of heard his yells as our 15mo was doing it. “SHEILI!!! SHEILI!!! As if there was anything that could be done once the little man decided that was the drop point. Our son did get a second shower (his favorite) so we’ll have to keep an eye on him lest he decides to poop in the tub again just to get another one. haha!
We so LOVE your blog. Both my hubby (Andy) and I follow it. Sometimes he even reads it before me.
Best. Pictures. Ever!
That’s a great one! I’ve had those nervous ‘2 kids need the toilet at the same time and one is new at it’ feelings so many times!
This completely turned my, DON’T TOUCH ME, LOOK AT ME, OR EVEN BREATH MY WAY mood around. Thank you for this post. I really needed it. Especially with a toddler and a sick boy home from school. <3
So glad we rn’t the only ones that have a potty tub…what else are you gonna do?? And so glad drawings of poop still make me laugh!
When ya gotta go, you gotta go! This was by far my favorite post yet!!
I just died a little. I can totally relate. When my toddler has to use the bathroom, and someone else is going, we let her sit on the edge of the tub and go. she has pooped once, and boy is that fun to clean up!
Ugh! This reminded me of something I read about the other week… apparently there exist a few “specimens” of full-grown crappy people who do their buisness in the shower – poop and all – and then stomp it down the drain. Can you say eeew?
I think this picture is appropriate for such an occasion 🙂
http://9gag.com/gag/5338152
i also think this is the funnyest picture ever. lil’ bare butt and squinty eyes, also the horror on crappy poppa’s face roflmao.
Love it!! I have a 3.5 yr old boy and a 2yr old girl who is just starting to use the toilet. Could totally see this happening in our house.
Ha, I hate cleaning up poop in the bathtub
Omg too funny! I died laughing so hard my husband had to come stop me so i wouldn’t wake the kids! Mine pooped while giving her a bath about 2 years ago and i didn’t think and just picked it up with my hands so it wouldn’t go down the drain…ewww. then pulled her put bleached and rinsed the tub and stuck her back in . But this is hysterical!
Pingback: funny potty training stories | Funny Stories
Spit just flew out of my mouth laughing! Now I gotta clean my screen. Haha!