On the Phone With Crappy Grandma

I always like to talk to Crappy Grandma on the phone. Though we’re at different stages in our lives, we have a lot in common. We talk about raising chickens and farming and gardening and canning and baking pies and such. We also laugh a lot.

So we’re on the phone. And my doorbell rings.


I ‘m not expecting anyone so I’m not exactly prepared.


She laughs at me and I answer the door. It was a delivery.

About twenty minutes later, we’re still talking and she pauses.


She explains that someone is driving down her long driveway.

She isn’t expecting anyone, so she isn’t exactly prepared either.


And this time, we both laugh.

We do have a lot in common. And we do laugh a lot.


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45 Responses to On the Phone With Crappy Grandma

  1. Maria says:

    LOL! I just don’t answer the door, ha.

    • Carolyn says:

      I try to do that too, but both kids usually RACE to the door and yell that someone is there (or else they’ll try to open the curtains and make a racket) so they totally ruin any attempt to pretend I’m not home 😉

      • amber says:

        Mine too. They’ve destroyed all my attempts at hiding lately.

        • Cath says:

          Mine too, 2 years old, banging on the window as soon as someone arrives.

          but I admit it made me a lot better at every now and then telling someone it isn’t a convenient time for us.

          And it has made me better at opening up and be cool with spontaneous visits which can turn out into a great afternoon.

          And I see myself growing to become the superstrong wise happy woman (Following her highest Joy) I wish to be when I am old, plus I want to model for my son. 🙂

          Greetz, Cath

    • Jlynn says:

      Not too much in the past few months but there was a stage where someone was knocking on our door every week. Once we got both kids to hide and it was a fun game. Unfortunately they came back a couple days later when I was sitting out on the steps with the kids playing in the yard. Cannot hide then.

    • I probably shouldn’t admit this but when my son was about a year old we suddenly had so many solicitors knocking on our door and I was too tired to deal with them that I usually told my little guy to be very quiet and stay away from the front widow until they went away. It stuck. Now he’s three and when anyone knocks on the door his first response is to get really quiet and say “shhh, someone is at the door”. And then he’s very confused when I answer it.

    • jo says:

      i just don’t bother with the bra. i am not at the teeth part yet..

  2. Robonanny says:

    Why is it they only turn up when you’re unprepared in some way? How do they _know_???

  3. Love it! I had to answer the door just holding my shirt in front of me (in a big hurry) the other day and I asked my 4yo three times “are you sure it’s just your grandmother at the door, are you sure?” Luckily it was.

  4. Just as long as you don’t put your teeth in your bra on accident, everything is OK.

  5. Emily L. says:

    Not exactly ‘well endowed’ here, so usually just crossing my arms will hide the lack of bra in emergency situations 😉 As long as it’s not a white shirt!

  6. Eve says:

    I remember once walking into my grandmas house to see the flash of a nude butt go around the corner and the (corded) phone sitting on the tv next to the front door. My cousin had been having a phone call in the living room nude. Busted! Phone calls are rather casual affairs apparently.

  7. holly says:

    we have a large picture window next to our front door, so I am usually busted while trying to hide, but I have “answered” the door to salespeople by yelling out the window that i’m not interested!

  8. Heather says:

    Thankfully I’m small chested and generally wear baggy shirts at home, so even if a little nip is showing… meh. I’m beyond caring at this point. :p

  9. megan o says:

    That’s what a sweater is for! I only put a bra on when leaving the house. And sometimes, not even then!

  10. Chloe says:

    It’s like those awkward “Oh no I’ve just started breastfeeding my newborn (who’s not good at latching yet)” moments. I had several of those with my first daughter & our local postman. Then I worked out why so many have a handy scarf or muslin around & embarrassed him less! (Why oh why were all those parcels needing to be signed for too ?!)

    • Robin says:

      I recently nursed my sick toddler to sleep in a living room armchair and every time I tried to close my shirt she’d wake up sobbing. So I let her sleep against my breast. Then someone came to the door (my chair faced directly toward it) and my five year old son ran over and opened it wide. It was awkward.

  11. Hanna says:

    I just cross my arms over my chest and pretend I’m cold or angry so they don’t know I’m really holding my boobs up and too lazy to put on a bra!

  12. Lindsey says:

    We live way out in the country, 5 miles of dirt road off of Nother long curvy road. You have to be intentional about coming to our house, we don’t even have mail delivery. So once on a particularly hot day I had all the windows open wide and the front door open wide and I was sitting in my living room in my underwear. And apparently my neighbor decided to drop by. Bad idea. I had to wrap myself in a blanket to meet him at the door. I really know how to make an impression.

  13. monica says:

    At my place I was so tired of people knocking on my door and waking my baby that I made a sign. It reads : we know Jesus, we have all our services we need, and we know who to vote for! Cookies and Friends welcome! Otherwise No Soliciting, please!

    So no one but delivery or people I care about should be ringing that bell……and they know me good enough to know my dress attire for the day lol!

  14. Chessie B says:

    I once answered the door in my bra when I was very very pregnant. I really needed that package and wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to try again the next day. They always know when you’re not prepared!

  15. Kari says:

    Okay, so this is what I got from this post: You can understand Crappy Grandma over the phone even when she doesn’t have her teeth in? Wow. 🙂

  16. Jessica says:

    how can she speak on the phone without teeth? doesnt it sound… there’s an emptiness into her mounth?

    • Carrie says:

      You don’t need teeth to talk, my great-grandfather never wore his. He did sound a little different but we got used to it.

  17. Minnie says:

    When I lived in town and had a nursing baby people would come by and ring my doorbell CONSTANTLY. One teenage boy would not stop while I was trying to nurse in the living room- so finally I just swung open the door with baby still attached to the breast- “YES? Can I help you?!” He was selling magazines. He didn’t know where to look. And he left quickly.

    • Tracie says:

      When I was nursing my oldest we lived in a multifamily building. The neighbors had a domestic, but the police got the address wrong. Since my mother who answered the door wouldn’t let the police in because duh. They were starting to draw weapons thinking this was going to get a whole lot worse. I had to go explain that she didn’t live there, didn’t know the neighbors & was trying to protect my privacy, all the while continuing to nurse. Still took 10 minutes to explain that they had the wrong unit. It was very hard to explain we were quite safe to their backs….

  18. Paul from MD says:

    My mom tells the story that at the little house out in the country where we lived at when I was a toddler the stairs were just opposite the front door, which was open in the summer with just a screen in the days before air conditioning. The preacher came to the door and my mom was still in her flimsy nightgown in the living room. She had no blanket or throw in the summer to wrap in, so she waited for him to half turn before she rushed upstairs to her bedroom to throw on some clothes. As she bounded up the stairs she hollered for him to wait a few minutes and come back. She says he was very gracious and polite and never mentioned a thing.

  19. Jill says:

    Too funny! I’m always bra free at home and depending on the shirt I can’t answer the door either, lol.

  20. katrina says:

    This post sure makes me miss my grandma– you are blessed 😉

  21. Brit says:

    Crappy Grandma=too funny. It just sounds wrong to call your grandma crappy!! 😉

  22. Lana says:

    is this your mother or you MIL? I have loads in common with my MIL and my Ma. which is awesome. 🙂

  23. Liz says:

    The other day it was after 1 pm and the dog needed to be walked. Like usual when I hadn’t left the house yet, I was wearing pajamas. While walking back into the house my dog started growling. I go to reach for him, trip down the concrete steps, and turn to find the meter guy there. I totally tried the arm cross to hide the bra free status, but let’s face it…I am sure it didn’t work. I’m sure he thought that I was full on crazy.

  24. Sanj says:

    I keep a large overshirt (summer) or a loose sweater (winter) on a wall hook near my front door. Easy on when the doorbell chimes.

  25. Diane says:

    A seriously helpful hint (especially since we live in an upstairs apartment and I am NOT running up & down stairs, if I don’t need to…)…

    I hooked the video monitor, that we no longer use for the kiddo, up in the downstairs landing!!!
    Now, if someone knocks…I just grab the receiver to SEE who it is!!!
    Let’s face it…if it’s family…I’m not bothering to put a bra on! LOL

  26. diane2 says:

    I am just in awe of all of the commenters who don’t wear bras around the house. I even wear one to bed–I’m terribly uncomfortable otherwise. Though, I am a DD, so…

    • CMills says:

      Me too! I don’t wear it to bed, but first thing in the morning it goes on! Wish I was slightly less…um…endowed. =P