my friend Wendy

Warning: this post isn’t funny. The sentence before this one is not a joke. I mean, there might be parts that are slightly funny but that is just pure luck.

So I have this best friend and we’ll call her Wendy.

We’ll call her Wendy because that is her real name. She said I could use it so we are good to go.

Wendy2
We’ve been friends since before kids. Before marriage even. So basically forever.

I’ll never forget the night we met. It was at a wine tasting that my boyfriend (now my husband) and I were hosting at our apartment.

Our conversation went the usual way, “Blah, blah, what do you do?”

Wendy3
So she tells me she just up and quit her good job to go to culinary school. My reaction was along the lines of, “What? That is allowed?”

I quit my shitty job about six months later to follow my own dreams. (Thank you, Wendy.)

Culinary school! She liked cooking. I liked eating. “Hey, why don’t we become friends?” So we did. It was settled.

We were friends, our boyfriends were friends. The four of us hung out often. Dinner parties. New Years. Grilling in the backyard. It was awesome.

Then they got married!

After the wedding and reception, we went back to their hotel room at the winery to share a special bottle of port (because fortified wine is exactly what you need after a night of heavy drinking) with them. The guys were smoking cigars and chasing a bat that flew in through the open door.  Wendy and I kicked off our heels and layed on the couch, slurring our words.

Wendy1

We did eventually leave them alone on their wedding night.

She was right though, he proposed and I got married six months later.

Then she got pregnant. And then so did I. Pregnant at the same time!

But then I had a miscarriage. And that sucked.

She knew just what to say. She was the only one who understood.

Wendy4
(Thank you, Wendy.)

So she had a baby and I eventually got pregnant again.

She was the veteran. I relied on her to keep me sane.

Wendy5

Wendy reacts to my anxiety by reassuring me and making fun of me in equal parts.

Wendy6

Which is exactly what I need 99% of the time.

The other 1% is when I need actual advice. She helped with that too. Like after I pushed a nine pound baby out of my hooha. I called her.

Wendy9
She told me to take care of myself. To take as many sitz baths as possible, several a day. Drink water. Rest. “Take care of yourself and you’ll be fine!” She was right. (Thank you, Wendy.)

So she had a baby and then I had one. Then she had two. Then I had another one. It was great that we staggered them this way because we got to share stuff that you can’t share with just anyone.

Wendy8
The only bummer was that one of us was either pregnant or nursing or both. For six years. So the binge drinking has been on pause for quite some time. We still pass out on the couch together, but from sleep deprivation instead of wine.

Through these years I have shared with her my deepest, darkest.

Wendy13
And she shines a light on them. (Thank you, Wendy.) 

I’m thankful that we’ve gotten to go on this parenting journey together.

And that we’re still having fun.

Getting our families together now creates an instant party!

Wendy7

Add her two golden retrievers in to the mix (and two cats that keep to themselves) and we officially have a zoo. A fun, chaotic, happy zoo.

Zoo schedules can be hard to manage, so we often keep in touch via phone.

One of us calls the other one…

Wendy10

Hours go by…

Wendy11
And we realize we haven’t made dinner yet.

Wendy12
We’ve both admitted to not answering the phone when the other one calls, knowing several hours of conversation are in store. Not that we don’t want to chat. Just that sometimes kids need to be fed or bathed or put to bed. Darn things.

So the other day she calls. She asks me how I am and I blab on forever as usual. Then she says…

Wendy14
I sense her unease. And I fear the worst. The worst being that they are moving away.

But it was actually much worse than that.

Wendy15
Much, much worse.

Fuck.

 

—————-

My best friend, Wendy, was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer in March, 2011. You know, the worst kind. This means it is “treatable not curable” which means it isn’t going away and there is an endless battle ahead of her. She has three young children. She is my age. You can read more of her story in her own words here.

Did you know that one in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime? Do you know how many women are reading this? More than eight I figure. It could be any one of us. Any one of us. I’m guessing some of you are dealing with this right now, already. My heart goes out to you.

Please, go feel yourself up. Please, go tell your friends to feel themselves up. Please make an appointment with your doctor if you haven’t lately.  We have to take care of ourselves. Mothers suck ass at taking care of themselves. But you need to. And you deserve it. We all do.

 

————

6/4/2014 (2 years, 7 months after I wrote this post) UPDATE – Wendy’s last day was today. I will miss her forever.

 

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328 Responses to my friend Wendy

  1. Laura says:

    *crying*

    I don’t know what to say, other than to offer my love, {hugs}, and all of my positive and supportive wishes.

    How incredibly earth shattering.

    Love. That’s all I can offer. Love, to both of you, and your families. So, so much love.

    • morgan says:

      Im extremely late to this post but this made me cry, not a shed a tear, trickle cry but a boo hoo need to go wash my face while at work cry. My heart goes out to her and you. In my prayers always.

  2. Melis says:

    Aw geez. I’m so sorry. I don’t even know what to say except I’ve got you all in my prayers. Hardcore. :-/

  3. Laura says:

    I am welling up. Close friend of mine also diagnosed with breast cancer recently and we hope it’s curable.

  4. I’m so sorry. hugs to you and Wendy. She’s lucky to have a friend like you.

  5. Chantelle says:

    Oh no!! Amber and Wendy, my heart goes out to you both. How devastating, I can’t even begin to imagine. Please keep us updated on her, Amber.

  6. Amber says:

    Praying for your friend and all of the women fighting the fight. Viva la boobies!

  7. Kelly Wankmueller says:

    Ugh. Crying at work. I still love the post. <3

  8. Eve says:

    Immediately started to cry.

    My heart goes out to Wendy, and you and everyone involved.

    🙁

  9. valleygirl says:

    She is so lucky to go through this with a friend like you. <3 Thanks for your post and honesty. xoxo

  10. Roxane says:

    I’m so sorry for your friend. My mother had breast cancer three years ago, she’s fine now. She had her last round of chemo two weeks before my wedding. It was a rough time. Very best wishes to Wendy and her family during these hard times.

  11. Brittnye says:

    You’re awesome.

  12. Pamela Susan says:

    Oh, Amber… I am so,so very sorry. Cancer plain sucks. I hate it. I hate that it can strike anyone at any given time. Currentl my 20 month old niece is battling it right now. Stage 4. And she is doing so much better than what doctors expected. Miracles can happen. Hugs to you. Hugs to Wendy. I’m off to donate some $ right now.

  13. Renee says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this, send Wendy my best, I hope you can get her that phone. I sent a donation!

  14. In tears! How horrible for your friend and her family! How wonderful that she has a friend like you ♥ I will be praying for her and her family as well as you all. Many hugs!!

  15. Rebecca says:

    :*(

    My prayers are including her <3

  16. Tammy W says:

    Wow. Sorry. I am a survivor of Stage 2 breast cancer, i had it five years ago while pregnant with my fifth. You can read my story on my blog. BUT… I would just like to say, my mom is a 14 year survivor of two types of Stage 4 Breast Cancer!!! Yes, it was a long hard fight and she has heart problems because of the extended chemo (6 months) and radiation (6 months also). It was all the way down her arm and in all of her lymph-nodes. She is still here!! Yes, she is. They truly have come a very long way in Cancer treatment. She needs to have faith. A positive outlook is indeed her only healing hope. Sheesh I just wanna keep going on an on but I won’t. Seriously, it ain’t over until it’s over!!!!! Fight! Fight! Fight!

  17. Tamara says:

    My heart goes out to Wendy, her family, you, and everyone else who loves her. I love your tribute to your friendship–I think so many of us can see our best friends in this post. I will be praying for her treatment to be successful, and that God will give comfort and even joy through the times ahead! Miracles happen, and I’m praying for one for Wendy!

  18. Angel says:

    🙁 So sorry to hear about this happening to your best friend and you too. 🙁 Please keep us posted and we’ll be ready to laugh and cry along with you.

  19. amelia says:

    I don’t even know what to say. I’m just sitting here crying. And I’m going to call my best friend and tell her I love her.

  20. Amy says:

    Thanks for this post. So many woman think they are ” to young” to get breast cancer.It runs in my family and at the ripe age of 22 I had a mammogram ( 2 doc’s in 2 states said I had to). I am lucky so far nothing, my cousin was not so lucky..twice. She was 22 & 24 when she had it, & I remember thinking how strong she was with 2 boys under the age of 7 & dealing with this. I know what you are fixing to go thru with Wendy. I went & chop all my hair off with my cousin, I was there when she haved her head(about 5 days after she started Chemo, becasue it hurt falling out), I was with her at the hosp. when her blood count was low.
    Be strong & sometimes be strong for Wendy! If there is anything I can give advice on let me know ( no I’m not an expert but a thing or 2 lol).

  21. K says:

    I had lunch with my two best girlfriends today. We’ve been friends since we were 11 (we are 27 now). Two of us have kids, the third is currently pregnant. Thank you for this reminder of how precious they are.

    I’m so sorry you, Wendy and everyone else in your lives are having to go through this. I would donate if I could, but I suspect my sons would grumble at the lack of food next week if I did.

  22. Mel says:

    My thoughts are with Wendy.
    Never give up hope. Everything is possible..

    I truly believe that.

  23. Ginette says:

    My thoughts will be with all of you–especially Wendy and her family.

  24. katexas says:

    Thank you for making this real and not just making this pink.

    I contributed $ on paypal today to a friend who’s going through colon cancer, we’re trying to get her enough to send her to see a play on broadway (her request).

  25. Misty says:

    I don’t know you, and I don’t know Wendy, but all these kilometres away I am feeling my heart breaking for you. Virtual hugs, and thank you for posting about something so intimate and educational – we all need to remember to get out there and get checked. And those of us struggling with cancer need to know we’re not alone. Thank you.

  26. How heartbreaking! Cancer sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh. I’ll be thinking of Wendy – and of you. I can’t imagine.

  27. Jodi says:

    Oh gosh, I’m so sorry to hear about Wendy. So so sorry. Cancer has reared its ugly head many times in my family and I don’t know one person who hasn’t been affected by it. She’s very fortunate to count you as a friend and I know you’re equally as fortunate to count her as your nearest and dearest. Thank you for sharing this story as I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you. You have brought awareness to an issue that is so often in the media, I worry that we sometimes tend to think “yeah yeah, pink ribbon, I know”. Stories like yours help to snap us complacent people back into reality, because sadly this IS the reality for far too many women. Again, thank you for sharing.

  28. Lisa says:

    I don’t know either of you in real life, but all I want to do is hug both of you and say “Oh, honey…”

  29. Susan Gillen says:

    It’s a shitty diagnosis and an even shittier call to make. I was diagnosed 5 years ago (I was 34 and my son was 17 month old) and I still remember how hard it was to pick up the phone and call my sister. It sounds like you are a wonderful friend to her and keep on just being there when she needs you. It’s a rough road ahead but she can and will get through this.

    Wendy might want to check out the Young Survivor’s Coalition, there is a great community of women there she can lean on.

    Stage 4 is lousy but many women have lived at that stage for a long long time. I hope for the best for Wendy.

  30. LaRhonda says:

    My prayers are with her and her family. Maybe something to research about if you want, I found a post that within the last few months they have discovered a virus that kills ALL breast cancer cells. I’m sure it will be a while before human trials will take place, but maybe keep an eye on it.

  31. Atina King says:

    I just wanted to comment that I, like so many other women, know what it feels like to be the friend or relative of someone who has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer. My grandmother was diagnosed almost 3 years ago with Stage 4. Today, she is happy, healthy, and cancer FREE! There is hope. Wendy can beat this! And you will be there to support her along the way. Good luck to you both on your journey!

  32. With tears in my eyes I can only imagine the heartache that comes to everyone who knows Wendy. Thank you for writing a very real blog today. Thank you for sharing your life and friends with me. I wish Wendy and her family the best, and pray for strength for everyone that is going to go on this journey with Wendy.

    Some days there won’t be a song in your heart. Sing anyway. ~Emory Austin

  33. sarah says:

    I just found out I have breast cancer…stage 2…the hardest part about it is that we moved 5 hours away from any if my friends about a month before my diagnosis. I’m 34 with 3 kids. I’m glad Wendy has you.

  34. Holly says:

    My heart is breaking for you all. No one deserves to have to go through this. 🙁

  35. This one made me cry. I lost my childhood best friend, my Nana (my mother’s mother) to breast cancer at 12. I don’t know what stage, because I was too young to understand it at the time. But they have advanced so much in treatments since then. I’m sending well wishes to Wendy and you.

  36. I have read every single one of your posts, and this is the first one I am commenting on. I have tears in your eyes. You have such a wonderful friend and I feel terrible for you and for her family. I hope she can beat it

  37. I know this will make me sound crazy but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE look into HIGH PH therapy for Wendy!!! It is not used simply because it does not make the pharmaceutical companies ANY MONEY. If she is stage IV there is NOTHING TO LOSE!!!

    http://www.cancercoverup.com/fighters/cesium_a.html
    MORE INFORMATION IN THE LINK ABOVE!

    I hope you look and Wendy gets well 🙁

  38. Erin says:

    This road is even harder than you think and i wish her family and yours the best of luck. Luck won’t really do anything but love most definitely will. Your friendship will be the most important thing in both of your lives. My best friend’s 4 year old son is battling leukemia. I have never seen a stronger perron in my life. He is fighting for hid life and still spends tons of his energy on making sure we feel good. You will probably come to admire your friend like never before. Just remember that sometimes, just sitting and crying with her will do wonders for both of your spirits and then you can both sit back and laugh at yourselves for being big babies. Never ever give up on the hope of being cured. Bigger miracles have happened.

  39. diane says:

    a huge I’M SORRY and((HUGS)) for you both … it’s all I’ve got 🙁

  40. RedinNC says:

    I’m so sorry about this. How lucky you are to have such a great friend. I hope she’s able to fight the good fight. Praying for her family.

  41. AshleyC says:

    i am so sorry… my heart is breaking for her, her family, and you, her best friend. please know that there are SO many prayers going out for her. ill definitely try to make a donation.

  42. So sorry for both of you (((hugs))). This is probably the first of your blog posts I have ever commented on and it is so heartbreaking to hear what she is going through. I don’t have any extra monies to give but I am a WAHM, can I make her something like a blanket that she can take with her through therapies and such?

  43. Thanks for having the courage to share this. Wendy and her family and friends are in our thoughts and prayers.

  44. Stephanie says:

    I am so sorry to hear about your friend Wendy. Yours is the kind of friendship I dreamed about having when I was young – someone you’ve known forever, you get married together, have kids together, and voila! Instant extended family. Unfortunately, I have not been lucky enough to secure a friend like this. You guys are very lucky to have each other. I will be thinking of her. (And I send $5 for her to get a new phone!)

  45. Marlene says:

    Oh my gosh. I was fearing an ending like this throughout the whole post, but REALLY, REALLY hoping that’s not where it was leading. So, so sorry. I’ll be praying for her, and for you, too. I can’t imagine what a mess I’d be if my best friend were to go through something like this. Man, I am sorry. 🙁

  46. Jo says:

    I’m so sorry. You’re right, so many of us have to go through this. I lost my mother. I’m sorry it’s your friend. She sounds wonderful, as does your friendship. I’m glad her kids have you in their lives.

  47. sending so much love to you and Wendy

  48. Misty says:

    So sorry to hear this! Love your tribute to your bestie though. My prayers are with you both and your precious families. <3

  49. J. Lee says:

    🙁 I hope Wendy can beat this! My mother had the 2 weeks left to live when the doctors found out she had terminal cancer. 13 years later, with lots of prayers and faith, she’s alive. Praying for Wendy!

  50. jen says:

    You are so brave to post this.
    You are making a difference and spreading the word!
    Thank you.
    Lost my friend Sarah 2 years ago… she left a brand new baby behind and I will never be the same.
    I admire you for turning your situation into ACTION that can help so many others.
    :o)
    Cheers

  51. Chibi Jeebs says:

    OMG! I’m so sorry. 🙁 Sending love and prayers to ALL of you (and your zoos). <3

  52. Tarina says:

    I know this is always a shock to find out. Feelings of helplessness, feelings of anger, sadness… Just remember one thing. She isnt gone. She is still very much here, and sounds like she will be fighting with everything she has! She is young, and has much to live for. And with friends like you, there is nothing she can’t do!! I dont really pray often, but I will send one up for her today. I wish I had the money to spare to help with the smart phone lol but my husband just had to replace 2 pairs of glasses on our dime, so I dont even think I could scrounge up enough to buy a damn bagel. Good luck to her, and to you because this will be your journey as well.

  53. Debbie Voss says:

    One of the funniest and saddest posts of all time. I am hoping your friend will find the help she needs to beat this. Have her look up Dr. Burzynski in Texas.

  54. I laughed and cried.
    x

  55. I am so sorry your lovely friend is sick. Sending lots of prayers and love, from one mother to another.

    How wonderful that she has you for a friend. I’m sure you perk up any bad day. True friends are the ones who stick around in good times and bad.

    My best friend and I have a similar story – she’s always just a few months ahead of me, so we have so much in common. I know we would be there for each other, too.

  56. Amanda says:

    Just when I think our lives can’t be more similar you pull a best friend with cancer out of the bag . . . seriously though, I am so sorry that to hear this news. I am sending good vibes and positive thoughts out into the universe tonight in hopes of a miracle. Love and hugs to you both.

  57. Corinna says:

    Jenna Mayfield has the right idea! My husband and I have looked into many different things the last couple years to support a healthy body. And in this search we came across information on people fighting cancer with liquid vitamin C! Given intravenously, it creates an inhospitable environment for cancer cells but keeps your cells healthy! There are so many better alternatives to fighting cancer that our system isn’t going to tell about because they just aren’t money makers. It’s so sad and horrible that this is the case. When there are so many wonderful and loved people that need it! God bless Wendy and her family and bless you for being such a wonderful friend. Also Gershon clinics have some amazing outcomes. I’ve already told my husband that these are the steps I want taken if ever we find out I have
    cancer. And he agrees. Our bodies are amazing things and given the proper nutrition and environment they CAN heal! Many prayers of healing and strength. <3

  58. Sarah P says:

    Wow. That hit me like a train, as I’m sure it did Wendy & you. Wow. Not sure what else to say. I’ll pray for Wendy & her family & you & your family, and all the other people that love her & are affected by this. Thank God she has you; good friends are so important.

  59. KTJ says:

    My husband was recently diagnosed with Stage IV Lymphoma, a shocking & unexpected diagnosis as he had no symptoms. We have 2 kids under 4. Ten years ago it would’ve been terminal, but treatment has come so far… After just four months of chemo we’ve just been told he is in remission (his cancer unfortunately is not curable either)…amazing drugs! We found professional counseling by a cancer psychologist hugely beneficial, & while the inevitable dark thought & fears are ever present, always believing he’d beat it has i think made such an impact on his treatment (don’t know who said it, but “think & so you shall become”). Good luck. X

  60. deeda says:

    As a mom, I can’t imagine anything worse. I’m sorry for her and for you because I’m sure you love her and her family.

    Sending healing vibes (and a donation).

  61. Heather says:

    Praying.

  62. Lisa says:

    laughed and laughed and then… still trying to wipe the tears from my face. I have a best friend and I love her so very much. So I’m going to go donate now for Wendy and pray for her and her family and for you.

  63. Pam says:

    I’m so sorry. Sending a little something now. xoxo
    You make me laugh until I cry. Wendy is lucky to have someone like you in her life.

  64. Audreyanna says:

    Prayers and thoughts go with everyone touched by this event. <3

  65. My heart and thoughts go out to Wendy! Booked my appointment, and just sent out a mass message to “my girls” to get checked!

  66. Chelsie says:

    My best friend and I are much the same, except that she is single and childless.. But, we have the same relationship. I can’t imagine getting that kind of news from her.. Or having to tell her that I have cancer. My heart sank when I read that. I can see either one of us chatting at length like everything is all good before getting to the bad news. I do self breast exams, probably more than necessary because I can’t keep track of when I last did one, and I wish all women would get on board with this.
    Thoughts with you, Wendy, and both your families.

  67. Silverdragon says:

    So sad – I’m sorry Amber and Wendy!! I can’t imagine hearing that from my best friend. Devastating. 🙁

  68. Cate says:

    Agreed with the above so much, I’ll just repeat it:
    Seriously, it ain’t over until it’s over!!!!! Fight! Fight! Fight!

  69. Victoria says:

    We all just waltz in and out of life so cavalierly and get focused on the crappy, funny, beautifully brilliant stuff that happens every single day. Then, when you get bonked up side the head with the unthinkable…well, once you get past the paralysis and then the inevitable hyperventilating…you actually do manage to resurrect what’s left. And that’s a lot. I think this calls for at least one episode of binge-drinking; maybe even binge-eating (may I suggest something pie-related), and afterward, when you’ve mopped up all the tears and the pee from the inappropriate laughter…just try to breathe into every single moment the joy that you felt before you realized that you are really and truly mortal. This applies to every one of us, by the way. And catch my hugs and feel my prayers as I love you both from right here in my heart.

  70. heather says:

    :'(‘,’,’,’,’, so sorry

  71. vanessa says:

    Oh gosh, how terrible. My thoughts are with Wendy and her family and I hope her treatments all work out. My mom’s BFF was diagnosed with Stage 4 about 20 years ago and her 16 year old now babysits my 6 month old. I know I don’t have to tell you not to give up hope, but hopefully Wendy’s story will work out as well as my mom’s friend.

  72. Amber Dusick says:

    Victoria, that was beautiful. Crying.

  73. Kenzi says:

    My bestfriend died of breast cancer exactly 4 years ago last month. We did those same things–college, roommates, weddings, babies (we had our children TWO WEEKS apart), she was diagnosed when they were 3 months and I pumped breastmilk for her baby. ANYWAY, my only advise is to please, please, please tell Wendy to seek alternative treatments. My bestfriend underwent all of the treatments–the most aggressive offered so her life could be saved and she could watch her three, young children grow up (she was 30 when diagnosed–the kids were 3 months, 4 and 6). And she still died. But one of the worst parts about it was that she spent the last two years of her life in bed, sick most of the time, missing out–it was like she died the first time the chemo and radiation hit her body…I know it has to be scary, and I can only HOPE I have the courage to do this, but my own father cured himself of bladder cancer two years ago using alternative methods–he didn’t ravage his body w/ chemicals and toxins, and he never felt better in his life. I don’t even think my bestfriend would’ve considered it, but maybe Wendy can. Please keep us updated, and I will follow her blog. I am so sorry…

  74. Gabrielle says:

    I am so sorry to hear about your friend, Wendy. I’m sure she’s glad she has a friend like you to support her and just be there for her. I know someone who was/is being treated at City of Hope for breast cancer and she’s in remission now, beating it to be there for her daughter. I’ m wishing Wendy the same good fortune and strength.

  75. Stacy says:

    I don’t know what else to say that hasn’t already been said except “CANCER FUCKING SUCKS!” God bless Wendy in her fight.

  76. Katie says:

    God bless your friend and her family!

  77. Mandy says:

    My friend Amber, I’m sending Love and Light

  78. Gemma Ray says:

    Laughed, giggled, snorted, laughed… then cried.
    God bless Wendy, and god bless you for posting this and reminding us Mothers that, yes, we do need to look after ourselves.
    Sending you love xxx

  79. lena nunn says:

    praying for you both. I just paypaled you. She may not like it but my friend always sends me money when I need it and we joke and call it pay a pal. its not much but its one step closer to a rockin phone!!!

  80. Jen says:

    I’m so sorry for your friend Wendy. I pray she gets much needed time to spend with her family. I also want to say I’m sorry to you for your pregnancy loss. Did you know October is also Pregnancy and Infant loss Awareness month? (President Reagan declared it in 1988) It get’s over shadowed by Breast Cancer Awareness but both are equally important. (I thankfully have not had breast cancer but know others who have, however I have lost 15 babies to miscarriage and one to stillbirth). 1 in 4 women will lose a pregnancy, deliver a stillborn baby or lose their child in infancy. ((HUGS)) to both of you.

  81. Emily says:

    I remember growing up, my mom had a friend which, if they got to talking on the phone, that meant cereal or sandwiches (whatever you wanted to make yourself) for dinner. I never resented her for it, it taught me how wonderful friends can be. Don’t ever beat yourself up about that, your kids are learning good things from you being so close to someone like that. 🙂

    God bless you and Wendy, and her children. I hope things work out and that it’s a very long battle with more wins on her side than anything else. Or even better, that she’ll win the war when they figure out a way to cure it.

  82. Karen says:

    Sobbing, b/c one of my best friends has stage 4 breast cancer too.

  83. Marie says:

    So many other people have said this so much better than I’m going to – but thank you for sharing this struggle with us. Wendy (and her family and yours) will be in my prayers.

  84. Cancer is a bitch 🙁 Prayers to your friend that she can beat it, and comfort and strength to her friends and family who are suffering right along with her. You guys are lucky to have each other as friends!!! <3

  85. Your post has made me cry, I feel for your friend and her family and friends.

    I am currently waiting for an appointment as I’ve found a large lump in my breast, and all I can think about are my children (same age as yours). It upsets me so much that this is something destroying families.

    Wendy needs to think positively, there are so many success stories. I wish her all the luck and prayers.

  86. Natalie says:

    Oh my gosh. 🙁 Terrible. My thoughts are with Wendy and her family.

  87. What amazing friends you both are. My MIL is going through treatment at the moment. There is a lot of love and support on this forum http://my.crazysexylife.com/ Really, please do check it out. There are a lot of experienced kick ass cancer fighting warriors there.

  88. Becky Lipp says:

    I am literally waiting for my sister to get back from her appointment to let me know whether her tumor is benign or not as I read your post. I actually don’t know what I would do without her. She was the one who put me onto your fab site. She has started a blog about it called ‘Get to know your boobs’ … http://cearas-little-things.blogspot.com/2011/09/get-to-know-your-boobs.html
    What ever happens today I am sure she is going to write about it too. I love her to bits!!! I hope it is benign!!!

  89. Elizabeth W. says:

    I am so sorry for your pain and your friends’. I was diagnosed at age 27 when baby #3 was 4 months old. She saved my life. Surgery took care of it but, it will come back. I enjoy every day that I have. I pray that your friend will live to see all her hopes and dreams for her children come to pass. >

  90. Katy says:

    <3

    I can imagine how scary and overwhelming this must feel for you. My mother was diagnosed 13 years ago (I was fifteen). Surgery and radiation and 2 recurrences later, she's still kickin'.

    This is not an easy road to take, but if one of you had to take it, I'm glad you've got each other to lean on. I hope Wendy can be like my mom - defying the odds and living forever.

    Much love, ladies. <3

  91. Amanda says:

    My mom had a mammogram yesterday and was told it was 50/50 whether or not it was cancer. She is having a repeat mammo and an ultrasound tomorrow. hug your besties and your family. tight.

  92. Gina says:

    So sad for everyone! I just wanted you both to know that my dad had lung cancer and just about everything else that could kill a person BUT NOT HIM!!!! He survived it all with a great attitude (not all the time) and family support and just pure luck and great genes! So surviving the unsurvivable can happen! Somebody has to be in the minority percentages or there wouldn’t be any! We are all pulling (and praying) for Wendy and her family and your family! That just totally sucks but you are lucky to have each other! You will need each other!

  93. I don’t know if it means anything at all to know that strangers, on the internet, in another country, are crying for you. Or if our well wishes really make a difference, but I’m keeping you both in my thoughts anyway.
    *Hugs* to all of you.

  94. Andrea says:

    I’m so sorry. I have never posted before but it is so important to bring awareness to everyone so I wanted to thank you for sharing. Please look into The Gerson Therapy. It’s alternative treatment for cancer.

  95. Amber – Thank you so much for this post. You are right about moms (and other non-mom women) not taking care ourselves. I see it every day and it amazes me every time. I currently work for an organization that helps uninsured women pay for their annual exams (including breast exam, pap smear and mammogram among other things). We are working to end breast cancer so that you will never need to make another post like this one again. In case you know of anyone who lives in NY and needs help paying for their annual exams, please refer them to to the NYSDOH Cancer Services Program. It is statewide and their for anyone who does not have insurance. Let’s work on getting EVERY woman screened before they end up in Wendy’s position.

  96. Aubrey says:

    Thank you for sharing this story. There is so much power to staying present, even when faced with the depths of life’s challenges. I know a story like this one too (with my sister-in-law), and I am so glad that you are bringing a truth and an awareness to it.
    May Wendy and her family find peace and joy during this journey. May she know strength and vivacity, and the love that we all have for her now. Healing happens in so many ways…prayers are with all of you.

  97. Megan says:

    The cremation in the sun
    Implies that life and death are one
    I wonder what would be the same
    If I gave death another name

    You know what you do? You go somewhere, just the two of you. (Guess what Daddy, you get a whole day of fun out with the kids!) Then you get a big a$$ bottle of wine, and you sit down on the couch, and you talk about it.
    And you Laugh about it. And you Cry about it. (Capital letters implied! You need to Laugh, not just laugh) Think up silly songs to play at the service (Celebrate good times; Kylie Minogue. This Monkey’s Gone to Heaven by the Pixies). You laugh and talk and cry some more. Call it something else (“I’d be a lot less afraid of it if I just knew what it was called”. “Let’s call it Steve”)
    And you own it.
    And you accept it.
    And then you put it in a box. And you put the lid on tight.
    And you put that box far away

    And then you fight.

    You fight like you’ve never fought before.
    You fight with everything you have and when you have nothing left you keep fighting.
    And you never, ever, not for one single second, ever stop believing that you’ll never need that box.

    Much love and hugs

  98. Lucy says:

    Ah. This story gave me chills and tears. Thank you for spreading awareness. I do not wear underwire bras OR deodorant (maybe the natural kind if i’m especially stinky) or use beauty products containing parabens as all of these increase your risk of breast cancer. My mom is a breast cancer survivor, so I take as many precautions as I can.

    Praying for Wendy and all the others out there.

  99. Carolyn says:

    I laughed, then I cried, then I shared this on Facebook. What a great way to use your platform to spread awareness. My heart and good thoughts go out to you, to Wendy, to all of your families, and to everyone affected by cancer of any sort.

  100. JJ says:

    Well, I’m a guy. I can’t relate exactly to what you’ve written. But I did lose my grandmother to breastcancer, my aunt has had a double mastectomy and my mother has had nodules or polyps or whatever they’re called removed. Just in case. My heart goes out to you, and her and I wish you all the very best of everything.

  101. Amazing. What a wonderful story.

  102. I am praying for your friend.

    FUCK CANCER.

  103. Mama Weaver says:

    Oh this just effing sucks! It just makes me mad as heck when something like this happens to genuinely GOOD people like Wendy, and to their genuinely GOOD friends like you. I didn’t read the above comments, so if this is a repeat, well, darn it, it’s a good repeat. I highly recommend “Breast Cancer? Breast Health!” by Susun Weed. There is ALWAYS hope. Doctors generally seem to be a bunch of Debbie Downers and Negative Nancies. Don’t listen to them (in that regard). Try alternative therapies (the book I mentioned is all about herbs!). I hear good things about vitamin b-17. My heartfelt prayers and positive intentions for the best possible outcome are with the two of you and families.

  104. My friend BJ sent me this blog post today. I check in whenever she posts them. She a new mom, and I’m still not blessed with children. Then again, I have been blessed with stage 4 breast cancer, and know that phone call all to well. This blog post is the best I’ve read about this phone call- great job! Keep it up! And good luck Wendy- we’ll beat this fight!

  105. Stephanie K. says:

    Crying, too…as I read, I kept giggling because I have a best friend like that…since age three, now mothers of five and three…so big gang when we gather and wonder, “WTF?? How did we produce this many kids???” I’m so sorry to hear of Wendy’s illness. Thank you for sharing this.

  106. Wendy Irene says:

    I’m so sorry! Tears and sending my love! Let’s help Wendy get better!!!

  107. Tracie says:

    Thank you for sharing your story, I think many of us have a “wendy” in our lives… either currently or formerly fighting this. Thank you, I’m going to pass it on to get reminders out.

  108. Lucia says:

    sending much love and healing energy – I don’t know you except through your blog, but I want to thank you for writing this and know that there are so many of us out here that are supporting you and your friend through this. I started checking my breasts as I was reading, through my tears!

    If you haven’t already read this issue of Brain, Child magazine, here’s a beautiful piece about being in recovery from breast cancer: http://www.brainchildmag.com/essays/fall2011_lynch.asp

    blessings…

  109. Jenn says:

    “She knew just what to say…I relied on her…I shared with her my deepest darkest…” All of those wonderful things that Wendy has been to you over the years you now get to be for her. Reassure her and laugh with her in equal parts. Listen on the phone for hours. Share that bottle of port. Be the best friend ever to your best friend of forever. And get through it together, with your crazy zoo cheering you on. Hugs and love and more hugs.

  110. Elisa says:

    Gah! Will be praying for her and her family…and for you. Hugs!

  111. Cherie says:

    A good friend of mine passed away two weeks ago. She had breast cancer that spread to her bones and then her liver. After an excruciating five years, it killed her. She left three young boys behind. Thank you for this post. I sent all the money I could spare to my friend’s family to help them through this time, but I will try to scrape together something to send your friend.

  112. sarah says:

    I am so sorry for Wendy and also you and for her children and … really, just so sorry and sad. I wish many blessings to you all.

  113. Hope says:

    My prayers are with you both!! Are best friends are the ones that keep us going! Just keeping loving her and be there for her is all you can do! Love to you both

  114. Nichole says:

    Cancer can be curable, breasts need iodine, check out my page all about curing breast cancer with iodine at TheIodineProject.com

    So sorry she and the family are battling this : (

  115. sophie says:

    First, let me say that my heart goes out to Wendy and her family. What a devastating disease and I wish her all the luck in the world.

    Secondly, I haven’t read through the comments so I’m not sure anyone has mentioned this yet, but PLEASE (as Ms. Mayfield says) PLEASE PLEASE support Wendy in researching her natural therapy options. Here is my suggestion: first, watch Food Matters (the documentary, it’s available on Netflix instant stream). Then, go here:

    http://www.gerson.org/case/case0.php?case=10

    Gerson’s therapy is outlawed in the U.S. simply because the pharmaceutical companies wouldn’t make squat with it (so terribly sad). It’s truly an amazing therapy that has benefited so many.

    I will pray for Wendy and her family. Thank you for sharing her story.

  116. Jackiefair says:

    Ugh, crying right now. My heart goes out to all of you. I have helped to organise the Pink Ribbon High Tea here in Cairns, Qld, Australia for the last 4 years to raise money for breast cancer research and awareness, I have met many wonderful women who struggle through this horrible disease – some successfully, some not. Early this year, one of our committee members lost her battle, but then mid this year, one of my friends becase the first breast cancer survivor to climb mount everest – all the way to the very TOP. Both these women are so inspirational and courageous beyond words.

    There is a small charity that has just started up here in Qld and we hope to bring it to Cairns called Mummy’s Wish – they work to help newly diagnosed mothers of small children find ways to take care of their kidlets while going through treatment, they give out care packages etc. Perhaps there is something similar in your area Wendy can tap into?

    Good luck with the fight, my thoughts and prayers are with you all. xoxo

  117. Furchildmama says:

    Beautifully said Megan.
    Fight, fight, fight Wendy!
    You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends xo

  118. ~michelle says:

    Heartbreaking. Cancer totally sucks.

    If you (as a caregiver, which you are by the way) or Wendy have questions, a great place to look is http://www.cancer.org or call 1.800.ACS.2345. The American Cancer Society has the most comprehensive cancer information in the country (in my opinion), from coping with treatment side-effects, questions about understanding diagnosis, help finding support groups, clinical trial matching, potential free/discounted lodging if Wendy is traveling for treatment (depending on the city) and other great support services in your area. And caring people are available for Wendy to talk to 24 hours a day, 365 days a year…even when everyone else in the world might be sleeping – it’s nice to have someone with a caring ear who will listen when you can’t sleep.

    Anyway, I’m just an ACS volunteer who has seen a lot of people receive help and I wanted to make sure you and Wendy knew it was available. I will be praying for you both and your families on this journey.

  119. Kella says:

    I thought you were going to say she was moving cause its what I am dealing with, with my very close friend but yes this is so much worse.

    my prayers are being sent right now for Wendy and her family ang loving friends, you are all in my thought.

  120. What a beautiful, beautiful post. 🙁

  121. Scary Mommy says:

    Fucking cancer. Sigh.

    Thinking of you both.

    xoxo

  122. Charlene says:

    This totally sucks. I can totally relate which totally sucks even more. My sister went in last week for a biopsy of a lump they found. They told her the lumps could go away on their own in a few years or could become cancer. She is 24 years old. It’s not fair at all. I pray every day that the lumps go away on their own and that she will be fine. She has two small kids that need her, and quite frankly, I need her too. I will keep Wendy in my thoughts and prayers too. God bless anyone who has to go through this…any cancer.

  123. Kimberly says:

    You are a beautiful friend. I’m sending prayers her way.

  124. Valerie says:

    I’m so sorry. I was laughing halfway through and ended up crying. Your honesty about life is so amazing. Thank you for sharing and thanks to your friend who let you. Whether I’m laughing or crying you are a bright spot in my day.

  125. Wow. I am so sorry to hear this. You are so right that mothers take shitty care of themselves. I don’t know you or Wendy, but I am praying for you both.

  126. Leila says:

    Amber-
    I just want to say be strong. Both you and Wendy. This totally sucks. I really don’t know what to say because so much has already been said by this supportive community. You’ll be a great support for Wendy. Just don’t forget to sometimes do those things you normally do. Movie nights (maybe? definitely without the kids), even treat yourselves to a spa day, whether home made or not. Just remember that even though things aren’t normal, it’s nice to have some things remain normal. It’s a comfort. I wish you both the best.

    Wendy- don’t ever stop fighting.

  127. Nichol says:

    It sucks. Period. Much love, strength, and peace to you both.

  128. This blog is hilarious- however, this entry was not- but still needs to be read- especially for all my friends who are moms 🙂

    October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

  129. Myra B. says:

    I was laughing and then crying. It sucks sucks sucks! Thinking of you both.

  130. Avid Crappy Pics reader says:

    i just felt myself up… Sucks that it takes a story like this to get us to check ourselves & see a doctor. I haven’t felt my boobs up since I was nursing and worried about plugged ducts (over 2 years ago). Sending Love & Healing energy to you & yours

  131. kim says:

    I’m so sorry you are going through this. You have the hard part. My dad always said that. He said he Knew it was harder on us than it was on him.

    But can I tell you some things?

    First and most important – Don’t give up!! That chance, while small, IS there. And it can be done.

    My dad was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and told he had 4 to 9 months. That’s all. That was in July. By February, he was cancer free. He stayed that way for 4 years, before he died – of a Heart Attack – NOT cancer.

    I can tell you some things we learned during his fight, I hope they help.

    The first thing, I already said. Attitude makes all the difference. It’s gonna be hard, but it’s true.

    Second – the Livestrong website,and Lance Armstrong’s books. Sounds crazy, but my dad found them incredibly inspirational and they helped A Lot.

    They have a binder you can order, it helps keep medical records organized and helps you ‘handle your cancer’ – it helps you feel less hopeless and more in charge. Maybe you could get it for her. I bought one for my dad – he liked it and used it…

    My dad’s oncologist suggested The South Beach Maintenance plan to eat during chemo – Wendy won’t feel like eating much and that seems to have the most calories/nutrition in small portions. The frozen meals and the snacks are nutritious and easy to tolerate.

    The hardest part is to not let the chemo break you. Exercise will help a lot – it will be a fight because she won’t feel like it, but find some ways to get her out and moving. My dad’s best friend/neighbor bought my dad a bike and took him out riding a lot. That really helped as well. My dad’s oncologist would give him a break if it got to be too much – and he told him to load up on vitamin C.

    My dad’s wife is (was) really into homeopathic stuff. She swears that the “cancer tea” helped. I’m not sure what kind it was or where she got it – I can ask if you’d like.

    And of course – lots of prayers… Lots and lots of prayers…

    If you need anything else, or have questions, or want to talk to someone who’s had to watch someone they love fight this awful fight, just let me know.

  132. kim says:

    My dad survived state 4 pancreatic cancer. He was the first one. He said his treatment was a comedy of errors. They screwed up everything they did, but somehow that saved him. Because of that, my dad’s oncologist used the things they learned and I’ve heard there’s another many who has survived stage 4 pancreatic cancer as well.

    But he died of a heart attack – that chemo and radiation are both absolute hell on your heart. It was worth it, though – we had 4 years with him that we weren’t supposed to have. And I wouldn’t trade those for anything. We sure didn’t take them for granted!

  133. ecassidente@earthlink.net says:

    My best friend told me today that she has cancer. The results as to how bad it is won’t come for a week. She is raising her seven year old granddaughter. My heart is breaking for all of the women out there facing this disease and all of their friends who are right by their sides. Blessings on your friend and her fight (and you as you walk with her).

  134. Danielle says:

    I have read this three times today…makes me smile then cry everytime. So sorry for Wendy…and for you and both of your families. I wish you the strength to help your friend and I wish for courage for Wendy as she fights for her life and I will pray for her family.

  135. Katie says:

    Many prayers to Wendy and her family.

  136. Lisa says:

    What a hard journey for both of you. But at least Wendy has a friend like you to go on it with.

  137. Kim Martin says:

    I have a best bud like your Wendy. Mine is Penny. We have corresponded on CASSETTE tape since I used to nurse my firstborn 8 hours a day in the same chair 18 years ago.

    So sorry. Even at stage 4, I think there is hope in electrodermal screening as a precise diagnostic tool and homeopathic medicine plus other stuff from a gal in Columbus, Ohio who amazingly cured my friend Norene of some really weird stuff. She sees cancer patients all the time. FB message me if Wendy is interested in an alternative to traditional medicine.

    Our family of four has gone this route for the past 8 years. My homeopath here in Dallas has done some pretty amazing things for us. Praying for amazingness for Wendy.

  138. Andrea Goto says:

    I was having a craptastic evening wallowing in self pity and self doubt and I desperately needed a laugh. So I went directly to your blog in search of just that. I did get a laugh (at first) and then a big dose of reality. The cliche is that life it much too short to be bothered by the little things. The cliche is also true. There are a few things in life I can control (my perspective, for example) and a million things I cannot (like cancer). Wendy is fighting the big fight. The one that matters. I pray that she wins.

  139. Sharon says:

    Oh, crap crap crap, but oh how lucky you are to have each other. All of your posts hit home in some way, but this one was a gut kicker. Been putting off a mammogram for weeks…but I’m making the call tomorrow. Sending nothing but positive thoughts out to Wendy and to you. You both are amazing.

  140. Ruth says:

    Oh god. Delurking to say I am 45, and have a dear friend the same age who has been fighting breast cancer for a year, and just today discovered she has lesions on her pancreas and kidney. Her children and 9 and 12. I’m so, so incredibly sorry for Wendy, for you, for all of you who will be be fighting this shitty, shitty disease for some time.

    Ruth

  141. Beautifully said. I’m sorry about Wendy but want to thank you for moving bc awareness month away from the pink weirdness and back to the story of the individual. I was diagnosed with inflammatory bc 6 years ago when I was 31. I wrote a book. I’d love to send you a copy. I’ll email you.

    http://Www.whointhisroom.com

  142. Nic8910 says:

    I was thinking the same thing. This post was so real, and so moving, and I am so happy that it wasn’t completely pink washed.

    My grandmother had Stage 4 breast cancer and passed away after a 2 year battle at a young age. That was years ago and this year I began learning about the industry surrounding the “pretty cancer”. For what it’s worth, there is a lot more we can do for ourselves, our mothers, sisters, friends than just feeling ourselves up. Prevention is a crucial step along the way, and stories like this are proof of that fact. Mothers do take crappy care of themselves but this is one area we must not falter in.

  143. Rachael says:

    Fuck. I kind of just burst into tears reading this. My 29 year old friend of 20 years was diagnosed with Stage IV less than a month ago. It’s so hard, and so scary, and so unfair. I’m sorry about Wendy, and I’ll be praying for our friends.

  144. Doula Momma says:

    http://movies.netflix.com/WiMovie/The_Gerson_Miracle/70113618?trkid=2361637

    http://www.gerson.org/

    My friend overcame thyroid cancer at 23 with this diet. It was the hardest three years of her life, but after a year of failed western treatment, she tried it as a last resort. She just celebrated her 41st birthday and has been cancer free ever since.

    I am so sorry for your friend Wendy and her family and I know if it was me, I would try anything for a chance to stay with my kids for as long as possible.

    Good Luck and God Bless.

  145. Heather says:

    I am crying for both of you. I hope I never have to be in either of your positions, but if I ever am, I hope I can be as strong as both of you have been. Thank you for sharing.

  146. Ambria says:

    I just want to say. My husbands great grandmother who is 85 was diagnosed with breast cancer two years ago. She survived. If she can survive, Wendy can too. Wishing the best to her and her family <3 Please keep us posted and up to date. She will be in my thoughts <3

  147. Thanks for making me laugh, thanks for making me cry, thanks for making me feel myself up.
    Love to you, Wendy and her family.
    Nuff said.
    xo

  148. Rebecca Emin says:

    This is such a sad reminder of the fact that so many of us will get cancer or know someone who does get it. I am so truly sorry for you and your friend Wendy, and will be thinking of you both lots.

    I’m really not sure what else to say. It’s a lovely post, but so so sad.

  149. Oh, I’m so sad for you. I’m hopeful for her though. Women CAN survive stage IV. I know someone who has. She was diagnosed over 15 years ago and she’s still going strong. There are rough days, but there are DAYS and that’s what’s important. Thank you for the reminder about beast cancer awareness. It’s very important. I’ve had 2 mammograms already (and I’m not 40) because it runs in my family. All have survived. HUGS to you and Wendy.

  150. Michelle says:

    🙁 Cancer SUCKS.

    We lost a friend and Dad to 2 little kids to a brain tumour. I can’t imagine your and Wendy’s pain.

  151. I am in tears.
    All my love and prayers to Wendy.
    And to you for this wonderful post.
    Thank you.

  152. This is heartbreaking!

    But dietary therapy can kick cancer’s @ss. Don’t take my word for it – read what the docs are doing at http://www.limeincoconut.com/reverse_cancer.html

  153. Kate says:

    So sad Amber. A beautifully written post to the kind of wonderful friendships women and especially mothers share. I wish Wendy all the best and all the strength in the world to put up a good fight. X

  154. Rainyday says:

    *hugs*
    My aunt was diagnosed last year. They caught it early. The prognosis was good. But it came back. It sucks. For the last 6 years I’ve been a volunteer with the Run For The Cure. The past 2 years, it’s had extra poignant meaning for me. Everyone is touched by breast cancer. It sucks.

  155. Jo says:

    Thank you for this post. It was a much bigger wake-up call than any other awareness charity dress/cupcake/run. You’re so right, it could be anyone, at anytime and you’ve highlighted it more than just a disease, it’s many peoples world.

  156. Liz says:

    Amazing Kim!

  157. Amanda Reed says:

    heartwrenching. crying now. I’m so so sad for all of you. prayers coming your way.

  158. Liz says:

    oh Amber 🙁 And Wendy 🙁

    Praying for a miracle.

    Have shared on my FB page as a reminder to all the wonderful women in my life to “feel themselves up”

  159. Tara says:

    Sounds like you have an amazing friendship! With you by her side when she needs you (and even when she thinks she doesn’t), she’ll make it through. It takes many soldiers to battle cancer and it sounds like Wendy has the support of a fine General by her side!

    My family is rife with BC and support is the most important thing! My mom first was diagnosed 25 years ago (at age 37). It metastasized 6 years after that and she had a 12% chance of survival of even a few years. She is still here and was there for me when I was diagnosed at 38 and again when they discovered it was still there just a few months ago. Having family and friends there to help and support me even when I didn’t think I needed it has been so, so important.

  160. Jamye says:

    You should have put up a tissue warning! OMG. {{{{HUGS}}}}

  161. Michael Day says:

    You were right. That wasn’t funny. That was sad. Extremely sad. Like, crying at work, sad. I am so sorry for you, Wendy, and everybody else involved. My heart goes out to you all.

  162. I’m not a parent (yet) and I have always wanted to have kids. I am also a child development major at the University I attend, and your posts are amazing to read.

    My mother was diagnosed with Brest cancer… and she passed away when I was 14. I know very well what breast cancer is all about and wish that others out there knew the same thing. She can fight, and with you by her side, she will fight harder. There is hope for all of us, and hope for her as well. I teared up a little because it’s hard to hear and watch someone do this kind of thing, but you are both strong women, and you can both handle it, I’m sure of it. I root for you, for Wendy, and for everyone out there. Best of wishes to all of you. <3

  163. Kim says:

    So-called “alternative” methods stress eating healing, whole foods — the way God made ’em. Good book that makes cancer not so scary & something that CAN be healed and prevented is T. Collin Campbell’s China Study. It has LOTS of documentation and great statistics to motivate you to take the bull by the horns. Campbell grew up on a dairy farm, was a real meat and dairy, conventional thinking kind of guy until he did his research. Now he’s a vegan. But it would cost the meat & dairy industries too much, cost the processed foods industry too much, cost the purveyers of sugar and fast foods too much, cost the industries that now depend on cancer to bring an income to change our thinking too quickly, so conventional thinking and all our adulterated food rules the land. Remember that doctors used to think it was nutty to wash hands between surgeries & before Florence Nightingale, the powers in charge saw no harm in raw sewage & its vapors running uncovered under the hospital. It took “radicals” who did the things that conventional thinking shunned to make the difference. Good, raw food is the most healing. http://www.hacres.com Praying for healing.

  164. Wow. I am so sorry that Wendy is going through this, but she is lucky to have you there to hold her hand.

  165. Lindsey says:

    Wow, I just found this blog, and I’m tearing up. A real friend like Wendy is so hard to find, and now… what devastating news! I’m so sorry. Thanks for sharing your story.

  166. Miss Preggy says:

    Cancer is the worst thing, my granny just recovered from lymphatic cancer but is checked every 3 months. we know it’s coming back. We just don’t know when.

    Crying for you has made me realise my issues are so minor and insignificant.

  167. Lisa says:

    I am very sorry. My friend has breast cancer right now too. Do some research for Wendy! I have been… Not liking what I’m finding because I’m finding people like Suzanne Sumers saying that she was able to CURE her cancer but the government doesn’t want us to know things like this because we are too stupid. There are MANY natural cures for breast cancer available right now!!

    Just a few hours of research will turn up numerous natural cures for cancer: Vitamin D, cat’s claw herbs, the Essiac formula, medicinal mushrooms, spirulina, cruciferous vegetables, green tea, graviola herbs, Chinese medicinal herbs, oxygen therapy, alkalizing water therapies and much more.

    All these cures have one thing in common: They are ALL suppressed by the FDA and FTC. Telling the truth about anti-cancer foods, herbs or supplements is now a criminal offense in America.

    Check out:
    naturalnews.com/024536_cancer_women_breast.html

    Best wishes.

  168. Marta says:

    I am so sorry to hear about Wendy. I’m hoping the best for her and her family!

  169. Gry from Norway says:

    The horrible beast; cancer! My heart broke a little, and I hope with all that I am that your friend beats it.

  170. Sistakt says:

    Tear. Sadness. I send everyone involved strength and love.

  171. Cecilia says:

    I read your blog all the time…but don’t comment too often. I had to leave a comment here…I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine…but at the same time, I can…we all know someone impacted by the “big C”. I wish nothing but the best for your friend, her family and yours. xo

  172. Stella says:

    I so knew where this post was going. Knew it with every fiber of my being and my new improved post-mastectomy breasts.

    Please refer Wendy to our blog/support site at MothersWithCancer.com. There are roughly 20 of us mothers in various stages of the cancer journey blogging there. She’ll find resourses there that it took our entire treatments to compile.

    Give her a big hug and tell her that she’s going to be ok. Save a big hug for yourself, also. Trust me that your job is just as hard as hers.

  173. eandjomomma@yahoo.com says:

    I am so sorry! Sending you and your friend huge {{hugs}}.

  174. Linda says:

    with tears in my eyes, I read the story and my heart is filled with love and hope for Wendy and her best friend …. <3

  175. Tammy says:

    I am so glad you had another for years with him Kim! Yes, chemo kills your heart, my mom has a pacemaker and defibrillator. But still much better than the alternative!

  176. Meghan says:

    My mother has had breast cancer twice now (first time stage III, second time stage IV), so I understand the position you’re in.

    And I have to say, I appreciate that people want to have awareness, but both my mother and I hate October because it is breast cancer month. We really don’t need to be reminded of it.

    And all of the retail nonsense that goes along with it is just sickening.

  177. rr says:

    Unbelievable! wishing you both the best! keep us updated and keep fighting.

  178. Liz says:

    My mum survived Stage IV cancer. They caught it really really early though. Good luck to your friend and to you.

  179. Lisa says:

    My thoughts are with you, Wendy, and her family. I read her story on The Supermom, and if there’s any way I can help her Olivia and her cousin’s family here in Hawaii please have her contact me. I’m a child and family photographer on Oahu, but I have several contacts on Maui as well. If Olivia is in the hospital here on Oahu I can bring her family meals, or if they need a place to stay here, anything.

  180. Danielle says:

    Wendy sounds delightful and like the best kind of friend. I’m sending my best thoughts to her and her family, and to you, while you’re there for your friend. This post *exactly* describes the relationship I have with my best girl friends and made my heart break at the realization that we can’t protect them even when we love them so much.

    Luckily, she has you to make her laugh.

  181. mamaroots says:

    hell Amber I am so sorry – definitely keep her in my thoughts, my mama in-law is a BC survivor but it took one of her breasts- so scary. I will send you an -e-mail to get in touch with you about helping, others have said it, but this post just made so sad but thank you for sharing, I will send a link your way too- love-Chris

  182. Tara says:

    Take care Wendy!! And seeing from this post, Wendy sure is lucky to have you! I just lost my grandma to breast cancer, and about 8 years ago my other grandma to complications following a lumpectomy. Scary stuff so I am vigilant about my health! I will keep Wendy in my thoughts!!

  183. Evelyn says:

    I’m so sorry.. That is just so not fair…. so sorry

  184. I’m so sorry about your friend!

  185. Petra says:

    I am so sorry too…
    I don’t even know what to say… But the thing that made me cry most was the realisation that I haven’t even got a friend who I could ring to tell or who would ring to tell me…
    You are so lucky to have found each other, have shared your lives with each other and have grown with each other. Whatever happens, the footprints she left will forever stay in your heart.
    My thoughts go out to all of you xxx

  186. chanee says:

    I ache for you. I ache for her family..which is your family. I am so sorry. Im glad she got a new phone.

  187. Maureen says:

    well ain’t that a punch in the stomach, I am late for my mamogram I will call today.

  188. Kristy says:

    My ex SIL battled with breast cancer several years ago and one of my best friend’s sister just had a relapse. I’m so sorry. My heart goes out to both of you and your families.

  189. Cassie B. says:

    I completely understand what you are going thru because it is VERY hard to see our best friends go thru this. My best friend of over 15 yrs has been battling cancer for 2 yrs. Not breast cancer, it is a very rare cancer. She just had her leg amputated because of it. She has 4 children, as do I because we too staggered our pregnancies! My prayers and love go out to you. I know how you are feeling right now!

  190. Jenna says:

    I wish only the best to you and your friend Wendy. She has a long, hard road ahead of her, but being her friend and being there for her will help immensely. We lost my mother-in-law just last March to stage 4 breast cancer, so cherish all the moments you have with her. It can be beaten however, so don’t give up!! Fight!

  191. Erikaroe says:

    My mom died from breast cancer about 2 1/2 weeks ago. Your story was especially touching and I hope it reminds everyone to check themselves and to GO to the doctor as soon as they find something. My mom battled for 8 years, she hung on at the end just so she could she that my sister got married and she would be taken care of. My mom found something and was diagnosed in 2003, but she knew about it before then and didn’t see a doctor until her cousins encouraged her to go. She thought it would go away. My parents didn’t have insurance. She might still be here if she had caught it sooner. Her best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer at the same time.

  192. Jen says:

    You don’t sound crazy to me. I had my first lumpectomy at 19, which shortly after turned into a partial mastectomy. We could not get it under control with conventional methods, it just kept coming back. Alternative treatment got me into remission and I’ve been there for a little over five years now. There hasn’t even been a visible tumor (that we saw) at my last handful of annual check ups.

  193. Liz says:

    I’m sitting at my desk crying at the moment. This was so moving and touching. I also made sure to forward it on to my closest girlfriends (most of whom are nursing babies right now) to remind them to check themselves regularly.

    Love and prayers are coming to you and Wendy.

  194. road2vba2c says:

    I love your blog. It cracks me up. You’ve got an honesty about parenting and the crappy pictures crack us up! My prayrers are with you and Wendy and your families as you fight this! You CAN win!!

  195. Michelle says:

    I am so sad for both of you and especially Wendy’s family. Hugs all around.

  196. Denise says:

    wow that is rough. I realize more and more we are getting to that age when ‘grown-up’ stuff REALLY starts to happen. 🙁 Your lucky to have each other during this time. Best friends really are forever.

  197. Kersee says:

    I am so sorry to hear about your best friend wendy! That is horrible news and I wish no woman had to experience this. I told my mom about wendy and her being a breast cancer survivor herself, reminded me about lance armstrong. He was diagnosed with stage four cancer and look at him now. 🙂 stay strong!

  198. Debbie says:

    What a touching story! I am very sorry to hear about this turn of events in your lives. I know that if I found out that I had cancer, I would get on a plane and fly to Houston to see Dr. Burzynski. I’d totally skip all the chemo and radiation and other ineffective, not to mention, toxic therapies and try Dr. Burzynski’s antineoplaston therapy, assuming he agreed that was the best approach for me (sometimes he recommends the traditional therapies instead, but the approach he uses is tailored to the individual). Check it out, and please pass the information on to Wendy:

    http://www.burzynskiclinic.com/patient-stories.html

    http://www.burzynskiclinic.com/personalized-treatments.html

    http://www.burzynskiclinic.com/treatment-options.html

    http://www.burzynskiclinic.com/advocacy.html

  199. MG says:

    This is so sad, and so unlike what I’m used to reading from you. To Wendy, I’m so sorry that you are going through this, and am praying that you will overcome this, like so many before you. I have had 3 people very close to me be diagnosed with breast cancer in the last 12 months. It’s hard, and miserable (I’m not going to lie), but you can do it. You can pull through. You have one great friend, and thousands of people praying for you. You are loved.

  200. Jeni says:

    My mom died a year ago from metastatic brest cancer. From her original diagnosis, she fought FOURTEEN years!! There is hope. Praying for you and your friend…

  201. justanothermom says:

    Amber,
    First of all I want to say that I am praying that Wendy beats the cancer and hoping with all hope that the treatment works.

    I started thinking about what I would do if I was diagnosed right now, with my dear 8 month old boy. I would aggressively seek treatment but in always preparing for the worst, I would want to be able to convey to him just how incredible of a creature he was, how indescribably happy he made me, how I was always watching him (even after he was gone) and how I would want him to remember me. I would make videos for him to watch at every birthday…from toddlerhood through kindergarten, through high school and college. I would my little baby in my lap and then talk to him through the years. E.g. the five year video would tell him how much I loved him, talk about the coming excitement of kindergarten and just be chatty. The high school graduation age video would tell him how proud I was of him and everything he was and how exciting his life and this world would be.

    So I would make the videos and if the treatment goes well, we would have the little momentos.

  202. AmberS says:

    I’m so, so sorry to hear about Wendy. Sending lots of good thoughts to her, and her family.

    Cancer bites. 🙁

  203. Lisa says:

    fuck. so sorry. that just sucks. hugs all around. xo

  204. RL says:

    Not sure if Wendy herself is reading all of these comments, but this one is for her: I can tell by what Amber writes about you that you are a strong woman. But even the strongest woman falters at times. There may be times during this battle that you feel defeated. Maybe even feel like giving up because you feel like there is no chance of hope left. This is where you have to look yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you” to your reflection. Then you have to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and just get on with it. It is okay to feel sad and to have low times. Allow this for yourself! But in the end, the changes that you make and how hard you keep on fighting will make all the difference. And I’m not talking just to hear myself. My aunt battled stage IV breast cancer for over 15 years. She saw all her kids graduate from high school. That was her goal and she did it even though doctors gave her a 3 year estimate at her diagnosis. Take care and kick ass.

  205. Amy Keffer says:

    Crap. THIS had to be my first real experience at Crappy Pictures?!?!? Girl, I’m sitting in a hotel room here, trying not to wake the two little urchins I finally got to sleep, and the ugly cry is taking on a life of its own. I just met my Wendy a few weeks ago, so this made my stomach sink.

    I am off to feel the ta-tas. Oh, and I’ll pass on the best advice ever given to me from a doctor: “I don’t care WHO does it, just make sure that breast exam is DONE.” 😉

    Much love, much prayer, much hold-your-hair-while-you-vomit camaraderie coming your and Wendy’s way.

  206. Youdie says:

    Check out http://www.drday.com/, particularily this part “CANCER DOESN’T SCARE ME ANYMORE!”. Maybe this is something your friend would want to give a try? In any case, good luck!!

  207. McApril says:

    Oh shit. =(

    Just found out my 30-year old friend (from high school) has breast cancer; they took her baby 5 weeks early so she could go through treatment.

    It’s heartbreaking. Absolutely heartbreaking.

    I know Wendy will be fine – with you by her side. =)

  208. Bekka says:

    I will send prayers for Wendy and her family. My mother is having a mass removed from her breast tomorrow for biopsy… it’s not exactly the same, but I do know some of your fear.

    Cancer sucks.

  209. Honesta says:

    Oh no. As a mother of three myself, I can’t really afford to donate, but I will pray for her if she likes. What a world-changing experience. My thoughts go to her and her family.

    I agree with other comments, she is lucky to have a friend like you to help her through this.

  210. Missy A says:

    Here I was having a giggle and then reading that, I’m bawling. I am so sorry that Wendy has gotten such devastating news. Hugs for you all. How is she going?

  211. Zorah says:

    Ah crap. That sucks so much. I’m so sorry for you guys. Amber, you’re such a strong and funny lady – Wendy is so lucky to have you. She’ll need all your support and humor in the days to come. Hang in there! You guys will beat this.

  212. Jade says:

    You (and Wendy!) are amazing. I have just linked to this post on my blog to try and help spread the awareness.

    Jade x

    http://www.thejadeleaf.blogspot.com

  213. Maree says:

    Could feel the love in the post, I longed for a friend like yours.. and then my heart sank and I got goosebumps. Now as I write this I have tears running down my face.

    Boo to cancer. I hate cancer!! I hope your friend is one of the lucky ones.

    Great post.

    btw, there is another blog I’ve been reading about a mum with a young family and breast cancer if you are interested: http://breastfeedingwithcancer.blogspot.com/

  214. Angela says:

    Love and lots of prayers. I lost my best friend to cancer three years ago. She was my age and pregnant with her third baby when she was diagnosed. Terrible disease. God bless you both. Take good care of each other.

  215. Caitlin says:

    My love and thoughts are going out to you and Wendy’s families. My mom had a good friend who passed away 7 years ago. Her time with breast cancer lasted 10 years. I think it was more exhaustion from the treatment and secondary illnesses that eventually took her spirit. Since then I have done monthly checks of my own, and encouraged my friends to check their breasts as well. One very important thing to keep in mind when it comes to this disease is that positive attitude can do amazing things when it comes to cancer, and taking the view of it being a battle is not a healthy way of thinking about it… it is not a fight that you can win or lose. Cancer is an illness that you can either recover from or not. I really hope your friend recovers from it. xo

  216. Kate says:

    As the tears stream down my face, I just want to say that this was one of the best posts I’ve ever randomly found on the internet. I’m praying for Wendy and her family, and sending a prayer to you and yours as well.

  217. appreciative dad says:

    okay, i’m a guy and had to at least vote on the parent’s magazine after this one…

    with a significant slowdown, i dont really have much to keep me busy during the workday. newborn (third) at home, and, find out this summer that my mom is diagnosed with cancer… thankfully, a co-worker friend turned me onto this site. your viewpoint is spot on hilarious, and has been a greatly appreciated distraction this past summer. thanks.

  218. Lee says:

    Wow I am so sorry. But I am jealous too, I wish I had a friend like that. So glad you have such a great relationship.

  219. Misty says:

    I just discovered this website. Have tissues handy. It is amazing and beautiful.

    http://www.thescarproject.org

  220. julie says:

    my heart just slammed to the floor when i saw the breast cancer drawing. what an amazing friendship the two of you have and i am so sorry for you both. i’ve had a difficult past year and my friends stepped up and i can’t thank them enough for being so wonderful for me in this tough time and can’t imagine losing any one of them. I raise a lot of money for breast cancer whenever I can because i lost my grandma to it. Please know that you have so many prayers coming your way and cherish every moment you’ve got left with Wendy. Watching her kids grow up will be so rewarding and you know she will be happy that you are there for them.

  221. Mama Gina says:

    I am so sorry. what a blessing that she has you to lean on. I’ll definitely be praying for her and those who love her. BTW, in the manner of unsolicited advice from strangers I thought I’d mention the anti-cancer diet. It worked miracles for a friend of ours who is now cancer-free. Worth a google. ((HUGS))

  222. twisterfish says:

    I just found your blog today and read this post about Wendy. Please tell her that I have a friend who was diagnosed with stage IV as well, and fought it, and WON. Against all odds. It can happen. It did happen. She and her three kids are all doing awesome and I hope the same for your friend Wendy. It can happen.

  223. Kathleen says:

    My best friend has breast cancer too. Stage 3. We are 36/37 years old, she has 2 young kids, I have a baby. We met when we were 5 years old. Short of my spouse or child having cancer, this is the shittiest thing I could imagine. But she is such a strong and amazing person I am in awe of her fighting this crap. I honor all of the women, and their friends and family, out there dealing with this, thank you for your post as well.

  224. This is too sad and alarming! i am only 23 and i am thinking of getting tested. More and more women are being diagnosed with breast cancer, its getting out of hand.

  225. nina says:

    Now im crying, best of luck to her, my aunt died after fighting for 3 years, its spread to her bones and she gave up 🙁 ill keep reading your post and hope for good news!

  226. Sara says:

    Rereading this for the umpteenth time. She was diagnosed right before me. 31 with five kids. Sitting at my hospital right now hooked up to my chemo. Lost a neighbor as young as me to stage four. But, know another young woman who had been fighting stage four and ten years later she is still n.e.d. She isn’t cured, not possible, but she is living cancer free. She still has chemo every year,with longer breaks in between each time. But it is possible. I pray for your friend. Will you post an update?

  227. Jenny says:

    you made me laugh and cry with this one. I forwarded the link to all my girl friends-those with children and without. Prayers to your soul-friend Wendy. Make the day’s count!

  228. Sarah says:

    such a sweet tribute to your best friend. i recently lost my best friend since 2nd grade this april to breast cancer. her name is heather & she was 32. i recently found this article about stage 4 survivors & i thought it would be nice to share. sending positive thoughts your way….
    http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/27/health/27case.html

  229. alexis says:

    <3 Hug your Wendy for me.
    This post exactly mirrors my life. Except my Wendy didn't have breast cancer; it was melanoma. We met. We fell in best-friend/kindred-spirit love. She knew me. She always knew what to say. We got jobs working for surgeons in the same office. We both got married (not to each other, but we joked about that). I got pregnant. She got cancer. She passed away at 34 (two years ago on Friday), two months before my first baby was born. I have two babies now. And i miss her so much. We were supposed to do this together. God it hurts – I wish I could hug her again. Your Wendy is in my prayers …
    RIP Concetta <3

  230. Emma says:

    despite the tragedy that is cancer, what stands out to me in this post is the magnitude of your amazing friendship! i have some really close friends, but i would give anything to have a friend like this to go through all the big things in life with. you are very lucky to have eachother and i am jealous!

  231. Valeri says:

    I think the worst, worst thing in the world is when young women get breast cancer. Your darling friend fell into such a rare category — all those kids and she should have had such low odds. I had BC in 2001 but I was 51 and had raised my children. I am so sorry. I hate that this happened to her. I have only just now read this. I am sending positive vibes to her and am hoping that she has enough quality of life until they can actually beat it. I want know all the details of the kind of cancer and her treatment but that’s just too prying of me. Best to both of you. It’s a horrible awkward suspended feeling when someone dear to you is sick.

  232. Adrienne says:

    I just discovered your blog today and I’ve been sitting here ignoring my laundry and laughing my guts out, but suddenly I’m crying. My sister in law was diagnosed two years ago [thankfully, she is now post-chemo (and surgery and radiation and all that) and doing well], but this brought me back to that gut-wrenching time when everything was up in the air and I cried every time I thought of her four children, the youngest of which was two at the time.
    I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I just really want to say that I’m sorry and I hope Wendy is as well as possible and fighting. Cancer sucks.

  233. My BFF just wrapped up her chemo for breast cancer at City of Hope. She is taking a well deserved rest, and is scared to death of surgery. I can only be there and hope that she does go through with the Drs advice. I read in a more recent post that Wendy is doing good. 🙂 Great!

  234. Emily says:

    how is Wendy doing now?

  235. Sprinkle says:

    I just found out a friend has Stage 3 cancer. It hits so hard. Your posts always make me laugh, this one was soooo good. It reminded me about what’s important, rolling up our sleeves and being there for each other. Thank you!

    And how is Wendy now?

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  237. Rosa says:

    Don’t give up. My father survived an “incurable” cancer 6 years ago. They (the doctors) told him the time hi had left. The date came and past, and he is still with us. Thank you God! Then he got a diferent kind of cancer. A diferent kind of you-wont-make-it cancer. And still he lives. Hi just ended tritment a week ago. There is always hope.

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  239. Jason says:

    I have a best friend too.. He has breast cancer too.. But he doesn’t want to do anything about it.
    He said he’s been hiding it for 3 years now..
    He’s 18 and I don’t know what to do..

  240. Carolyn says:

    Last days are awful. I’m so sorry :'(

  241. Kylie Johnson says:

    Rest in peace, Wendy. xxx

  242. Brooke says:

    I am so sorry. Cancer sucks. I’ve lost two very special people to cancer in the last couple years. I hate it. Hugs.

  243. Samantha says:

    I am stronger for reading this. Life is more than cleaning up and taking the garbage out. Wendy touched us all, through this she’ll continue to be all our friend by telling us to help ourselves!

  244. Alison says:

    Oh, no. I’m so sorry.

  245. Kathaleen says:

    So sad to hear this update. Rest in peace dear Wendy.

  246. Kameron says:

    Thank you for sharing. You are so strong for doing so.

    The heavens have gained another angel momma.

  247. Bianca says:

    How lucky you are to have had a friend like Wendy. (And she too.)
    So sorry for your loss.

  248. Ellen says:

    I’m so sorry for the loss of Wendy. Sorry for her babies, her husband, her family and her friends. I hope you find comfort in the love that she shared with you all. Xxx

  249. Rita says:

    This is not fair. Cancer needs to be gone forever, and I truly believe someday it will be. I am so sorry for poor Wendy and her wonderful children, family and friends. Thank you for sharing her with us.

  250. Megan O says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss and the loss that Wendy’s family is going through right now! We lost my dad 5 1/2 years ago to liver cancer that we thought had been “cured” by a liver transplant – and less than a week after they told us it had spread. Less than a year later, we lost my favorite uncle to liver cancer as well. Cancer truly does suck!!

  251. GayleC says:

    I am so sorry. I remember reading about your friend, Wendy. Hugs.

  252. Amy says:

    You have given me so much laughter in the past years since discovering your blog. It is only fitting that I will share some tears on your’s and Wendy’s behalf. And a drink. I will get a drink, reread some of your old posts imagining you sharing them as stories first with Wendy, I’ll laugh for you both and then, then I’ll cry a little.

    It’s gonna suck for a good long while but it will get better eventually. Which, I’m sure you know but it’s making *me* feel better to remember that for you right now.

  253. hanna says:

    So so sorry for your loss.

  254. Laura Game says:

    I recently lost a friend to cancer as well. So sorry for your loss!

    FUCK CANCER

  255. Amanda says:

    So sorry for the loss of your dear friend. I lost my mom to breast cancer, and I’ll miss her forever too. I hope happy memories and memories of her love can be some solace in the coming days, weeks, and months.

  256. DoReean says:

    I am so very sorry to hear of Wendy’s passing. I’m so very very sorry. I remember this post from 2011, but must admit I cried my way through reading it again. We (my family) are praying for her children to hear her voice whisper “I love you” as the wind blows. We are praying for your heart, and all hearts to hold Wendy near, to be comforted during this very difficult time. My deepest condolences.

  257. Abi says:

    So sad for you. Wendy sounds amazing. Look after yourself!

  258. Johanna says:

    No words. I am truly sorry. This is heartbreaking.

  259. Joy says:

    What a sad ending, I am so sorry for your loss! I pray you will find some comfort in your grief for your dear friend and her family. Words just kinda suck right now, but that’s the best I can do.

  260. Alexandra says:

    I remember reading this original post and kept hoping that Wendy would recover. This absolutely stinks. I am sorry for your loss and my thoughts go out to Wendy’s family as well.

  261. Jovi says:

    I’m so sorry to hear this.
    I know how truly frightening it is to have your doctor say the word cancer. But somehow as a friend/loved one/family member it’s just so damn scary. You just feel so helpless. Even while cheering your loved one on the sense of disparity is just so palpable. Cherish your memories of Wendy. Help remind her children of what a wonderful woman she was and just how much she loved them. And remind yourself how much she loved you too. Cancer is never fair. It sucks, it sucks that my grandma can meet my beautiful little girl that I named after her, but everyday my daughter looks more like her, and it makes me love both Nana and my baby more. Remember to breathe and talk about it when you need to.<3

  262. sarah says:

    Im so sorry. I read this post a few years back. I saw you post this just now and realized what it meant to be re-posting. Im so sorry for yours and Wendy’s family’s loss

  263. Bec Fish says:

    My love and prayers for you, Wendy and your families. I would be lost without my best friend. I simply can’t imagine your pain.

    You may find the Love Your Sister charity in Australia interesting. LYS was started by actor Samuel Johnson and his sister, Connie. Connie has terminal breast cancer and Samuel has just finished riding around Australia on a UNICYCLE to raise funds for breast cancer research – and more importantly, self examination awareness. Sam and Connie are inspiration, funny and tireless.

  264. gemma says:

    I am so very sorry x

  265. jodi says:

    So sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and Wendy’s family. Friendship is a beautiful gift. Thank you for the beautiful tribute to your relationship!

  266. Catherine says:

    I’m so sorry. You will all be in my thoughts and prayers.

  267. Sharon says:

    My heart breaks to hear about Wendy. I can emphasize– I lost my best friend 3 years ago to breast cancer and not a day goes by that I don’t think of her. Hugs and prayers!!

  268. Vivian says:

    (((Hugs)))

  269. Micki says:

    Oh Amber, my heart is broken for you and Wendy’s family. I’m so sorry for your loss. I know there are no words to console this kind of devastation but you and all those that love her and in my prayers. I had a best friend just like Wendy who died three years ago from a brain tumor. I miss her everyday. I’m sorry to tell you that you will miss Wendy everyday as well. But you will find a way to go on. I promise that you will hear her voice and see her everywhere. I see Peg all the time. Just glimpses, but I know she’s with me, just as Wendy will be with you. You are loved – even by strangers – so maybe that will help you a little during this sad time. <3

  270. Holly says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. So, so sad.

  271. Brandi says:

    So many hugs….

  272. Alex says:

    I am so sorry. My heart is breaking for you and everyone who loved Wendy. Prayers are being said for all of you. I wish I had more.

    Love and hugs.

  273. Amanda says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. It was evident through your blog how much you loved her and how much she meant to you. I will keep her, her family, and your family in my prayers. Much love.

  274. Tonya Meccarielli says:

    My goodness, praying for your ability to function and find relief in your daily activities and family. I lost my best friend to cancer 5 years agoand I have never had those good belly laughs or felt like I was not alone since. A best friend is a gift and you know you were blessed to have her. Hugs to you young lady and cheers to friends who “get it”. You can now be that person who reminds her children who and what they come from and what their beautiful mother would say and do when they need that motherly advice.

  275. alexandra says:

    This tribute, this ode to her and this homage… she feels it . The universe has just reverbed with it. You love her. It is here, with all of us now, we love Wendy too.

    I am so sorry for your heart.

  276. Jacki says:

    I’m so very sorry for the loss of your friend. 🙁

  277. Katie says:

    Wow. Thanks for sharing – it’s an important message that all mothers need to remember. I never knew Wendy – but I am thinking about her today. You are both in my heart.

  278. Amy Keffer says:

    There are just no words. I, too, have a ‘Wendy’, and I’m brokenhearted for you right now. We all know how dearly you loved her and what she meant to you and your family. I will keep her and both of your families in my thoughts and prayers. Hopefully the love from strangers all over the world brings you some measure of comfort.

  279. LaToya says:

    I’m so very sorry to hear of Wendy’s passing. Prayers for both families during all of this

  280. Kaitlin says:

    I’m sorry for your loss. My mother is going though the same fight with her childhood friend. Being told it’s comming doesn’t help prepare you for when it happens. I hope she wasn’t in too much pain near the end. I will be praying for your family and hers.

  281. Erin says:

    Prayers to Wendy’s beautiful family and to you as well! It’s amazing how effected we all are by such beautiful women that I have never met. Thank you for sharing part of your life with us. I hope you find peace and comfort in the blessing of having an amazing woman in your life and I’m sorry she left this world much too soon!

  282. Meredith says:

    My heart is breaking for you and for Wendy’s family. I am so very, very sorry. Cancer sucks. Just sucks. Virtual hugs and real tears.

  283. Katie Pottroff says:

    I am soo sooo sooo sorry for your loss! My prayers go out to her children, husband, and the rest of her family!

  284. Renee says:

    I’m so sorry. Did Wendy ever get tested to see if she had one of the BCRA mutations? With a family history like hers it seems likely. :(.

    • amber says:

      Oddly, she didn’t have any of the BCRA genes. She did get tested, mostly to find out for the sake of her two daughters.

  285. Diana says:

    I’m sorry for the loss of such a wonderful friend. I lost my mother to breast cancer a little over a year ago. It was pretty horrible seeing her go through that so my heart truly goes out to you and her family.

  286. marta says:

    I am so sorry that you lost such a huge part of your life with Wendy gone. I thank you for being so open about your friendship and taking the time to share how important to appreciate the ones we love and to take care of ourselves. I send prayers and thoughts to Wendy’s family and especially her children. I hate you Cancer.

  287. Keely says:

    I am so, so sorry. I hate cancer with everything I have.

  288. Maria says:

    I’m so sorry for the loss of such an important part of your heart. I hope you’ll be able to reminisce with more smiles than tears.

  289. Renee says:

    I lost my best friend to a pediatric bone cancer at the age of 27. She never got to have kids, but I can very much relate to this story and your friendship, and now to your loss. I’m just so sorry for you, and her family. It’s just not fair, it really isn’t. It sucks and it’s not fair. Hugs to you and your family!

  290. Lea Grover says:

    I am so sorry. My husband is nearly seven years out from his stave IV brain cancer diagnosis, and we learned yesterday it might be growing again. I can’t imagine life without him- he’s my best friend. I have no idea what you’re going through, but my heart breaks for you.

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

  291. Michelle Thomas says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

  292. Ashley says:

    I’m so sorry about Wendy. You’re so lucky to have had her as a friend. Thank you for sharing her with us.

  293. Cbv says:

    Wow. I am devastated for you. For her children. For her family. This is so so effing terrible. I’m so sorry. Shit.

  294. Terri says:

    I am so so so so so sorry. Your message is important and beautiful and I am sorry you had to go through this to share it with us. 🙁

  295. Alejandra says:

    I am so sorry for her family lost, and yours, she’s no longer fighting anymore, she’s in a sweet and warm cloud resting and watching us all from above.

  296. Anna says:

    Thank you so much for sharing. What a sucky time and for you to use it to maybe prevent others from experiencing it…beautiful. Prayers for your family and hers.

  297. Heather says:

    Nothing would break my heart more than leaving my very young children behind. I’m so very sorry that she’s gone. Dammit, too young to die! I will heed your words…I will pay very close attention to my health. 🙁

  298. Anna says:

    I’m so sorry. 🙁 *hugs* We lost my dad to brain cancer 3 years ago. Even when you know it’s coming, it’s unbearable. Praying for you and your families. Thanks for sharing this and all the other stories. They remind us we’re not alone.

  299. Grace says:

    I am so, so sorry for your loss.

  300. Renee says:

    My heart is with you and her family. Much love.

  301. BeccA says:

    SO Sorry for your lost of your best friend. I felt the same way (to an extent) when my two best friends were diagnosed one with chronic colitis and the other with Lupus… My heart goes out to you and your family and hers.

  302. Carly says:

    Amber, I’m so very sorry for your loss. My prayers are with your, and Wendy’s, family xx

  303. Rachel says:

    I am so so very sorry…thoughts and prayers to you and Wendy’s family…

  304. jackalyn says:

    I am so sorry you lost Wendy, I am so sorry her family lost her and so sorry she is gone. I have a Wendy, her name is Chrissy, and she is healthy. Right now, I can think of nothing more then to call her and tell her how much I love her, and to feel her boobs, so I don’t loose her.

  305. Terra says:

    Oh, Amber. I am so very sorry for your loss. Your beautiful post about your friendship with Wendy has always inspired me. All my sympathy and love to you and your family and Wendy’s too. :'(

  306. Bridgette says:

    I know that no words are sufficient right now, but I’m so sorry. So sorry for you, and Wendy and Wendy’s family. Just, sorrow.

  307. Mary Dose says:

    I just found your story about your friendship with Wendy. Wendy was my neighbor and friend when she lived in RPV. She was like a younger sister and when she told me about her cancer diagnosis, I went home and cried. She fought a very courageous battle and I was so sad when I found out she lost that battle a couple of days ago. I felt like a piece of me died. I know she is a beautiful, healthy angel now, and we should celebrate her wonderful, but short life. I pray for her family and especially those 3 beautiful children that she loved more than life itself. Here’s to our wonderful, special friend Wendy. We all love you so much!

  308. Erica says:

    You and Wendy may be strangers to me but your story touched me enough to bring that dreaded moisture to my eyes. I have my own “Wendy” and I can’t imagine losing her. Tears run down my face as I contemplate your pain and I am so, so sorry. Thank you for your story, my heart goes out to you and yours, Wendy and hers, and everyone else who deals with the unfairness that is breast (or any) cancer.

  309. jules says:

    I am so so sorry to you and her family for her loss. I hope it brings some peace and you can celebrate her.

  310. Shana says:

    I am so sorry for your loss and for Wendy’s family. Sending you all light and strength.

  311. ashley says:

    my heart goes out to you <3 im am so sorry for the loss of such a great friend. prayers to her family and yours alike. she will always be watching over you.

  312. JFC2001 says:

    I am so, so terribly sorry to hear about Wendy’s passing.

  313. Mary Yarwood says:

    I’m so sorry to read of Wendy’s passing 🙁

  314. Trisha_K says:

    Prayers for both of your families.

  315. Lisa says:

    Oh Amber, I only just saw this (I’ve had a crazy busy summer). My heart breaks for you and her family. I hope the anguish of her loss is easing a bit day-by-day. If there is any way we can help you through this, please let us know!

  316. Elias says:

    Oh man, that’s a tough one. Life can be so incredibly unfair sometimes. Love and cherish those around you. While I know your heart will always have a hole in it, may a garden of love and experience grow up around that hole and ease the pain.

  317. Denise says:

    I’m so sorry. 🙁

  318. Heather says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom earlier this year (02/23/14 to be exact) to Stage IV breast cancer. It is devastating – it feels like it will always be devastating. It is hard losing my mom as a 40 year old – I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose my mom at such a young age as Wendy’s kids.

  319. gloria says:

    my heart goes out to you all. I lost my sister in law on Easter morning 2013 from cancer. It’s something you never really get over, but must force yourself to keep going. hugs to you for losing a best friend too.

  320. Natalie says:

    I am so sorry, Amber. Nothing sucks like losing a best friend.

  321. Lena says:

    I’m so sorry to hear that. It must be so awful losing a close friend like that, I can’t even imagine.

  322. Lindsey says:

    So very sorry. Cancer freaking sucks, poor babies!

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