Just Luck

Crappy Baby is three and a half now. This means he is irrational, exhausting and hilarious.

Crappy Boy and I are in the family room and Crappy Baby keeps entering and doing or saying random things that makes us laugh. Then he leaves the room again.

Each time he enters the room he is a different character and each time we laugh our butts off because we are so surprised.

For example, one time he is R2D2:


After this goes on for some time, I realize that Crappy Baby is having a blast making us laugh. And he is good at it!

In fact, this has been happening more and more.

So I make this observation to Crappy Boy who is clearly enjoying his little brother.


And like a true older brother, he smugly replies:




Attn: Washington DC/Maryland area people! I’ll be at the Gaithersburg Book Festival this Saturday and you should come. It is free! Even the parking is free! Plus, I’m flying all the way across the country. For you. Please come.

11:15-12:05 Gertrude Stein Pavilion, The Mommy Bloggers (I’ll be with my awesome bloggy palย Jill Smokler/ScaryMommy. Let’s nickname our slot Scary & Crappy, shall we?)

12:15-1:05ย Line 8 (I’ll be signing/drawing books. Bring your copy and I’ll sign my name in it. Or your name. Or draw you a picture. Whatever you want.)



This entry was posted in crappy pictures, parenting, siblings, six, terrible threes. Bookmark the permalink.

83 Responses to Just Luck

  1. Cindy says:

    Not only that, but it’s *beginner’s* luck–the worst kind.

    Thanks for the sibling-rivalry giggle! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Dianna says:

    lol such a big brother comment indeed ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. JBierlair says:

    I’ll be volunteering (not at your tent, though) so I’m hoping it’ll be a wonderful event!

    • JBierlair says:

      Clarification: At the Gaithersburg event.

      And my 3.5yo is, by far, the funniest of my kids. His older sisters have the same attitude as Crappy Boy.

  4. Christina says:

    Lol, gotta love the big brother. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. Jana says:

    I wish I could make it to Gaithersburg! a bit of a schlep for me (Even though you are flying all the way across the country, you have no idea how bad DC area traffic is). Will you come to the Baltimore Book Festival? Please? Pretty Please?

    I introduced your blog/book to my mother this weekend with “Penis Pizza”. She and my niece laughed their heads off and my niece wanted to borrow the book (but her mom put the kai-bosh on that because she knew my niece would then share with her friends – and she didn’t want to have to answer those parental calls…).

  6. Camille says:

    My son is 3 1/2 too and is a little character. He loves to entertain:)

  7. Erika says:

    Yes, you can’t be too effusive with your praise for the younger sibling – older sibs have to put a damper on that right away.
    (wish you had a video of the funny stuff – take one when you can!)

  8. Samantha Moore-Schwermann says:

    Any chance of coming to KC area???

    • amber says:

      There is always a chance, but highly unlikely at this point. My last two stops are this month and both on the east coast. Then I’ll be all traveled out.

    • Hope W says:

      I would be so happy if there was a KC stop. Even my fiance would be willing to make the drive. He loves this blog.

  9. Oh sure, my daughter will be in that area for a student council trip with school…but not me…wonder if I could gt it added to their itinerary!!!

  10. Dave says:

    He’s right, of course! The whole 1 million monkeys on 1 million typewriters writing Shakespeare is totally true… it’s just luck. ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. Ginger says:

    Aw, wish we weren’t going out of town this weekend!

  12. melissa says:

    Of course, in my hometown area and i had to of moved to north carolina -.-….hows about a stop in myrtle beach? Lol thats closer now.

  13. Lissa says:

    I am also the proud mommy to a three and a half year old and I agree, hilarious but exhausting. When she is not incessantly asking why, she is pretending to be a kitty (or sometimes puppy) or speaking in a language that she made up. I’ve not gotten a straight answer on anything out of her that wasn’t a “meow” or gibberish in over a month on the first try. I finally learned that if I ask a question and I start with “Kitty wants to know…” and finish with a meow, she’ll answer me. Sigh…

    • Rachel says:

      Lissa, that’s awesome – it’s amazing how our children can train us to do what they want! Last night, as I was scratching my 3.5 year old’s back for almost 20 minutes before he finally fell asleep, I thought, “How did he get me to do this?!?!? I don’t even do this for my husband!”

    • Dee says:

      I thought my son was the only kid that meow’s, nice to know I’m not alone lol

    • Angela says:

      My 4.5 yr old STILL meows. It’s pretty adorable really. I think she has brainwashed us into knowing what a particular “meow” means.

    • Sarah says:

      My goodness, my girl is 35 months, and she meows in the morning when we say good morning, and she licks her hand to clean her face like cats do with their paws…
      Seriously hilarious and exhausting… Good to know it’s not just me and my girl… ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Charity says:

        Holy crap, you’re still counting months!? I had to think to hard on that one…lol. I have a hard enough time keeping up with my second (only 6 months old).

  14. Haha, so true. My brother was hilarious looking back. At the time, it was annoying instead, but the things he did were pretty ingenious, so that’s something.

  15. Skadi says:

    Great post. AND you will be in Gaithersburg …. awesome. Will you be selling your book too? I don’t yet have a copy ๐Ÿ™

  16. We had one of the biggest public meltdowns ever was when little sissy got lucky bowling. Never again!


  17. Jo says:


    You will love this blog! It could almost be you! Her kid’s cooler than my kid, grr ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. Nicole says:

    This makes me hope that if I ever have another one after my first pregnancy that I get funny moments like this.

  19. Dorothy says:

    You are SO right on. My youngest is just 3.5, and I’d have to say that “irrational, exhausting, and hilarious” about sums up the comedic nightmare that is 3 year olds. Love your posts!

  20. Sarah says:

    My son (who’s now 7) has always been a little comedian.As he’s got older he’s even funnier. Some of the things he comes out with… lol. Such fun ๐Ÿ˜€

  21. Alison says:

    My 5.5 year old get so cranky whenever I compliment her 3.5 year old sister. Even for silly things, like if I’m brushing the 3.5yo’s hair and say “ooh, your hair is soft today.” the 5.5yo will yell from across the room “WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY MY HAIR IS SOFT?! IT’S NOT FAIR YOU SAID THAT TO HER!” *facepalm* we’re working on it…

  22. Donna says:

    Big sisters do the same thing. My 6 year old grandson is hysterical, he could do stand up comedy already (obviously inherited from his Dad, his Uncle Dale, his Poppop, and his Great Uncle Lee). We were all out to dinner the other night and he was keeping us laughing. His 13 year old sister was just looking at him (and us) like we were all kind of dumb. When they grow up she will find him funny, just not now.

  23. Kim says:

    Oh goodness, you hit the nail on the little 3.5 yr old head! Irrational…check! Exhausting…check! Hilarious…check check! I sometimes wonder if my 3.5 yr old girl is bi-polar! LOL

  24. tara says:

    Hahaha that’s hilarious he got so jealous of Crappy Baby. What a newbie, totally just luck ๐Ÿ™‚

    p.s. I came across a recipe calling for turbinado sugar and it reminded me of your turdinado post and it made me laugh.

  25. Erika says:

    Maybe he’s not a crappy “baby” anymore?

    • amber says:

      Dun dun dun!

      Some foreshadowing here that only I can see.

    • Devan says:

      I thought the same thing….

    • April says:

      This has come up in the comments loads of times. What should she call him instead? Obviously he’ll need a name change sometime (if she’s still doing this in a few years, I doubt a 6 year old would tolerate being called a baby and being drawn in diapers), but what would she call him? Crappy Boy is already taken. And names like Crappy Toddler would date him and require another name change down the line, which would be too confusing.

    • ^_^ says:

      “Crappy Rival”.

  26. Sarah says:

    NO SHIT! You’re going to be near me?!? Now I’m going to have to pack up my kid and come and see you!

  27. Katy says:


  28. Birgit Stuart says:

    Looking forward to Saturday! Safe travels and thanks for alerting me to the fact that there is book fair close by!

  29. Katie says:

    Sibling rivalry is something we are newly experiencing with our 4 and 3-year-olds. Wonder if that’s luck…

    I’m looking forward to your signing this weekend. I’ll have my hubby and three sons in tow. We are all looking forward to a fun book-filled day!

  30. Mary Lynn says:

    Classic. Love your Crappy kids.

  31. JenB says:

    I reckon “Shit-Scared Parenting” but I’m not sure the organisers will allow it… (As an aside, I’m not usually a potty mouth but for some reason this had me giggling like an 8th grader. I think th story set off my funny alarm)

  32. Christy says:

    I will be at Gaithersburg this weekend!! I look forward to it every year and cannot wait to listen to both you and Jill Smokler!

  33. Poor Crappy Boy. He better step up his game if he wants to compete ๐Ÿ˜‰

  34. Sana says:

    I live in Baltimore and I think you’re absolutely hilarious. I’ve shared some of your posts with my husband and he got a kick out of them too! I’m going to attempt to make it out to the book festival so I can get my book signed and maybe a small crappy picture? ๐Ÿ™‚

  35. Renee says:

    I’m planning to be there, book in hand!! I’m under an hour away!!

  36. Briony says:

    I’ve had to cook fishy meals for dinner when my son went through a cat phase, but I think I might have encouraged him as I enjoyed sewing an old sock on a pair of black leggings to make him a cat outfit. I regularly get asked ‘what would a … eat’ fairly easy when its a cat, harder when its a glittery cowboy with Angel wings… So what exactly are you? oh mummy I just told you…

    (Ps apologies for any autocorrect riots, my solo show opened tonight so I might be a bit tipsy… But excited that I’m supposed to be interviewed by the Huffington post here in London tomorrow + a few local papers too)

  37. Jessi says:

    Dang it! I was out in GBerg/DC last week for work! (my company has a location there). I’m going to have to send one of my coworkers to your booth for me!

    Been missing the weekly posts, but I know they’ll be back soon and I’m sure there will be lots of travel stories to tell us!

  38. Shannon says:

    I’m so excited that the festival is finally (almost) here! Looking forward to meeting you in person! Have a safe flight ๐Ÿ™‚

  39. Brit says:

    Love this! Bought your book for a friend for Mother’s Day. Gave it to her at the beginning of the weekend since our families were staying at a cabin together. I was so glad I did because we cracked up over that awesome book all weekend! She LOVED it and said you totally sound like someone she would hang out with! ๐Ÿ™‚

  40. Noellegwyn says:

    And so it begins. Buckle up, Miss Amber! It’s going to be a bumpy ride! : )

  41. Devan says:

    My “baby” is 3.5 and she never ceases to amaze me – every day. Good luck on your travels!

  42. Sukie says:

    Will crappy baby ever wear a shirt? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  43. Shilpa says:

    Wow you are going to be in my neck of the woods! I am a long time lurker, never had the courage to comment! I have read your book, my baby loves it too! I will definitely come to get it signed and meet you ๐Ÿ™‚

  44. I love that both of them inherited some pretty awesome funny genes. One more slapstick and the other more dry wit. A great combo. Perhaps they should get an act together?

  45. Laurie says:

    Have you heard of/read/listened to the book “Brothers” by George Howe Colt? He looks at the relationship he has with his 3 brothers growing up in the 60s and the relationships of famous brothers (Kennedys, John Wilkes/Edwin Booth, etc.), including the effects of things like birth order and sibling rivalry. I’m in the middle of listening to it and I know I’m making it sound scientific and dry, but his stories about his own brothers are like your stories about Crappy Brother and Crappy Baby and we all can relate to them if we’ve had brothers and sisters.
    P.S. Do you have a link to the itinerary of your book signings? Would love to come if you visit New England!

  46. My 3 year old (almost 3.5 too) does the same thing- we go from Darth Vadar, to a dog, to a fireman Sam, to an elephant all the time- oh, and sometimes he decides he’s his older brother.

    Keeps us laughing!

  47. I really love Crappy Boy. And Crappy Baby. Isn’t the best when they get old enough to find their dry wit? : )

  48. birth2love says:

    LOVE your blog and always makes me feel like I’m not the only one…:) Keep up the great blogging! <3

  49. Gabrielle DuBois Libby says:

    You are, literally, hilarious!

  50. Kristen Triplett says:

    Oh oh I want a Vitamix sooooo bad! I would probably use it to be lazy with breakfast (and maybe lunch and dinner too…) just throw stuff in there and blend instead of cooking. Sounds good to me! “Here kid, have a chicken, cheese, and something green smoothie!” Maybe I could get him to eat some veggies?

    • Kristen Triplett says:

      That didn’t work rig…that was supposed to be on the blender post! Arg! Trying again…

  51. Dawn Crail says:

    I LOVE your blog, makes me laugh every time and I always look forward to a new one. Thank you!!!

  52. Melonie says:

    Of course someone awesome that I actually want to meet comes to town AFTER the military has moved to the middle of nowhere :/

  53. Lori says:

    I use my blender basically exclusively for smoothies. My favorite includes yogurt, avocado, frozen mixed berries (blueberry, strawberry, raspberry), frozen peas in place of ice cubes, spinach, and milk.

  54. JY says:

    I’m new to reading your blog but, omg, I’m dying over here! I love your older post about baby wrangling ie changing diapers. We’re in the midst of potty training child #2 and whenever I suggest a trip to the potty it’s like an assault on his personhood (person-dom? hmm). You’d think I had asked, “Would you like a root canal without analgesics?” and not what I really said which was “Let’s go make a peepoo!” Anyway, keep up the hilarious work. All the best!

  55. Amber Anthony says:

    When are you coming to Texas!?

  56. Blake McDaniel says:

    these blenders rock i would use it to blend up soups for the wifey she always wants to try different homemade soups but our blender stinks. for me it would be fruit sorbet’s and body by vi shakes

  57. Blake McDaniel says:

    lol wrong post

  58. Reese says:

    I would blend mint chocolate chip icecream with it! Normal blenders have no chance at this…

  59. April French says:

    Ermagerd!!! You are coming out here?!?! Stupid soccer practice and bake sale…. *makes devious plan to stick the husband with soccer duty. What’s the next east coast stop if I can’t make this one?

  60. Tobi says:

    Oh no!! I live in the boring midwest (Wisconsin anyone?) and just came home from a vacation to Baltimore/DC yesterday…I can’t believe I missed your book festival by just a couple of days!!

  61. Kristy Johnson says:

    Oooh, a Vitamix! Awesome. I love to make smoothies but I hate my blender because it does a lousy job with the frozen strawberries.

  62. Susan Cotton says:

    I still remember the time my (then) eight year old son riffed for a solid fifteen minutes doing prop comedy using nothing but a couple of pencils in order to avoid doing homework. So long as he kept me laughing the math was kept at bay.

  63. Meg says:

    I love your crappy kids

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