My kids love smoothies. I hate making smoothies.
Because my blender is a lazy jerk.
Just one orange and he starts complaining.
I have to constantly shake him awake and poke spoons down inside of him to get him to blend stuff.
Except there isn’t anything wrong with him. He is a typical blender.
In fact, last Mother’s Day, Crappy Papa actually gave me a brand new blender thinking it would be better than our loser of a blender. I thought it was love at first sight.
But I was betrayed.
It was just as useless as our current one. So we returned it the next morning. Sigh, a one-night-stand.
Everyone knows that if you want a marriage quality blender you have to invest in one of those blenders. You know the ones I mean.
Vitamix®. Everyone I know wants one. They are like luxury cars for your kitchen. “Oooooh, did you hear? So and so got a Vitamix®!”
I mentioned wanting one in my article in Ladies’ Home Journal. (It was in the May issue on page 24 but the text is online now too.)
And the Vitamix® blender people saw it and asked if they could send me one.
Send me one! For free! Can you believe that? No strings attached, they weren’t asking for a review or anything. They just wanted to send me one because I had mentioned them.
(Wow, that feels powerful. I don’t think mentioning products and then getting them for free works on this blog but just in case I really would like a hot tub. And a week-long stay in a luxury resort on a tropical island that has drinks with little umbrellas in them. There has to be umbrella drinks or the deal is off. But I’d settle for a hot tub. I’ll even provide my own umbrella drinks for that.)
So my new blender arrived.
Can a blender be sexy? This thing is sexy.
(Plus, the damper looks like a butt plug.)
I filled it to the brim with everything I had. Carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers, celery, spinach and beets. It worked. I was terribly skeptical and I tried to kill it but it stayed strong.
I have a new blender!
Can’t tell you how good it felt to put my old blender in a box and take it to the donation place. I dumped him. Jerk. Go “not blend” on someone else’s counter.
So here is the thing. The blender came in a big box. Except…
TWO boxes showed up. Two identical blenders. At my house. And they are worth $600 each.
I knew right away that they made a mistake. I mean, I’m awesome and everything but I’m not at two-blenders-level-of-awesome.
While I could have run off to eBay and sold their mistake all I really wanted to do was share my good fortune.
With you guys.
I’m giving away the extra Professional Series 300 in onyx. A $600 value.
Enter via the Rafflecopter options in the box below. Giveaway runs now through May 24th, 2013. US addresses* only. Winner will be selected at random via rafflecopter and then posted here after giveaway ends.
Giveaway has ended. Congrats to Lily!
*US only because this is a giant, heavy box and I’m paying for the shipping out of my own pocket and if I had to ship it to another country I wouldn’t be able to afford to buy fruits and vegetables and then how would I make a smoothie?
Yes, it truly was a mistake that I was sent two of them. I asked Vitamix® if I could give away the extra one instead of shipping it back to them and they said sure. This is not a sponsored post. This was my idea. I received no compensation for this post. So hopefully nobody corporate will be upset over the butt plug thing. And hopefully you guys won’t get all butt hurt because you think I’ve sold out or whatever. Either way, tough. Come on, I’m giving something rad away. If you don’t like it, don’t enter. (Ha! That’s what I thought.)