We are at the pool. It is Crappy Aunt’s pool and we have it to ourselves.
Crappy Boy is pretending to be a shark.
He dives down under the water near Crappy Papa.
And tries to pull Crappy Papa’s swim trunks down. Because that is what pool sharks do.
And then Crappy Boy does it again.
And again.
And again. Laughing like a maniac when he comes up for air.
Crappy Papa is annoyed.
He distracts him. The shark morphs into a friendly frog.
But not for long.
Pantsing sharks are just too much fun.
Crappy Papa asks for my help.
He wants me to save him from the shark. But I’m no lifeguard.
I do have some parental advice though.
I know exactly how to get kids to stop doing something annoying.
I bestow one of my secret parenting methods on him so he can save himself.
He whines that my method doesn’t work.
But he is wrong. He just isn’t implementing it properly.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat. For 18 years…it’s a wonder we parents stay at all sane.
But, hey, you’re probably in better mental shape than I am, seeing as how you are still able to recognize your own kid.
Oh, that was rich.. my husband and I both laughed pretty good.
Ha! I commented over there already…but too funny!
It’s the hat from the spanx post!!! Awesome.
Yes, I was actually admiring the hat.
Ha ha! I thought that too!
It is!
My favorite part, is the calm and relaxed facial expression!!!!
I’m imdsrseep. You’ve really raised the bar with that.
I showed my husband your website a month or so ago and now he’s more addicted than I am! Thanks for the laughs, keep writing and drawing 🙂
You’re just lucky “something more fun” wasn’t interpreted as permission to send him after you instead. 😛
Yeah, that’s where I thought this was going too, haha.
Me as well.
Me too, I thought it might be somehting like pool shark attacking red hat & carefully balanced glass of wine in the pool…
Totally what my husband would have done…
ditto
Loving your idea of swimming: a sun hat and a glass of wine = fabulous!!!!
I just love the glass of wine. The advice is pretty spot on too.
Great parenting advice. Now I just need that distraction list of those “Things that are more fun”.
I always tell my crappy kid to do the very thing I want him to stop doing. Then I criticize that he isn’t doing said annoying thing well enough, how he isn’t annoying me sufficiently. He stops, as at 5 years old the miracle of reverse psychology is still quite magical. Or I point out how out is all so educational. That gets ’em every time!
A big handful of pennies chucked into the pool tends to buy me 1-2 glasses of wine (which is a unit of parental time measurement, little known fact…).
And here I thought I was the only one who measures time in glasses of wine!
Yes, it is! So is cups of coffee.
Hah, I love your response!
He has a sibling. Turn to sibling and say “because you’re not being rude I’m giving you a…” and give him anything. Use the sibling rivalry.
I would never have tried to pants my family simply because they would have caught my hands and held me under the water until I begged to come up. Scary? Yes. But you didn’t try it again. The other thing they’d do is the splash underwater (a lot of bubbles) and swim away technique. For a few minutes you’re surrounded in bubbles and can’t tell up from down. Again, scary.
But… see siblings don’t have to be nice about things.
Bingo.
I wanna be you with the cool hat and the drink in your hand, all the while watching your husband take the “beating” from your kid, and not you! WOOT! Hope you enjoyed your drink, some sunshine and a relaxing soak in the pool! 😉
I totally recognized the hat!! Love how you’re kicking back with your glass of wine. You are so enlightened in this post 🙂
Wine tends to do that.
I must be lucky that my kids are afraid to put their heads in the water. Why have I never thought of bringing wine into the swimming pool??? All of a sudden I’m so looking forward to next summer. I even have a hat, but it’s not as cool as yours.
Seriously. But my daddy would have convinced the shark to attack mommy. Not good in public but after the 20 ppl at my c-section…just another perk of motherhood?
But he is a boy and thus will never grow up…
Love your blot more and more with each post! When is that book coming out I already have three people in mind I’d like to give it to for Christmas 🙂
How to get kids to move on from doing annoying stuff? I’m not sure anyone knows the answer.
You don’t. You just send them to college.
You have to get out a camera. Works for me every time. Do it again so Mommy can take a picture. No Way! 🙂
Genius! What is it about the camera that incapacitates children? I am totally trying this first (annoying) thing tomorrow morning.
I have to admit I’ve often “sacrificed” my husband up to the gods of “something more fun” when I’m trying to get stuff done….So basically , all the time.
My boys always want to jump on Daddy,(I blame HOP ON POP) so when I’m in the middle of cooking, laundry, cleaning, WHATEVER, I tell them, “Go jump on Daddy!”
Works every time.
*Guilty* of this too lol
Love the wineglass 🙂
Also, I was hoping for some real life saving advice there! Thanks!
Sounds like something my son would try when he gets into that wild state and won’t calm down.
Exactly. LOL 🙂
Hm I don’t think nipples are THAT high – above armpits? that’s the only part that annoys the heck of me lol. Other than that, it’s funny and I had the same issue as well.
Wait, are you saying my pictures are crappy? 😉
I think she should stop staring at your nipples, actually.
Haaaahahaha! 🙂
argh, my girl is 21 mos….how long will i be saying, “what do you say?” “say please,” “can you say please?” “you need to say please!” etc., etc., etc……
Oh….I saw one day how ineffective the,”What do you say?” was…so I experimented til I came up with the ‘copycat’ idea…worked for EVERYTHING.I would imitate a little child’s voice,”Excuse me ,Mommy…may I please…..?”until they copied me….did not take long…copying is what little ones love to do! Then, I said,”Oh thank you!!!You are the best Mom in the world!”..and they laughed and said it! When they got to be eight or so…I reminded them with,”I must be deaf!I can’t hear anything if it doesn’t have ,”Excuse me,Please…” in front of it!!Then I would mumble to myself until they tried again. Fun and effective for boys and girls.Teens got the royal treatment…I would put on a crown and smile vaguely ,unless someone addressed me as,”Excuse me, Your Highness…” My goal was more laughter(for me), each day, than tears.
Hahah! the crucial ingredient that DH keeps missing. Sigh…
It’s probably not a good sign that my first thought was “I would so keep encouraging him to be a shark…” 🙂
So would I! How else to get a pool all to yourself!!!
So THAT’S what I’ve been missing – that last nugget of wisdom really filled in a lot of gaps in my parenting strategy.