This is how kids deal with opening a jar, depending on their age.
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By the way, CrappyPictures.com won a 2012 Bloggie for Best Parenting or Family Weblog. Thank you all SO much for your votes! I was sleeping when it was announced, but maybe I was dreaming of red carpets. Actually, I was dreaming of cornfields. What does this mean?
I’m going throught the two year old stage. When he gets it open, he licks the lid. Lovely. :/
I do that too. ๐ Well, if it is something particularly yummy.
He opened the juice this morning and licked the lid.
Oh, no. I just realized something. He learned it from me. When I open his yogurt or pudding, I lick the plastic lid.
This is all my fault. LOL
“I learned it from watching you, Mom!”
LOL!!
could be worse. my daughter likes to lick lids and stuff but yesterday we visited my grandpa and my 16 month old daughter found a coaster. she thought it was a lid and she licked it. then i found out it was very disgusting with stuff like 30 year old dust caked onto one side with some kind of possibly very old drink spillage.
Congratulations, by the way!! I voted for ya! ๐
Too true and I love it! Congratulations on your award! You should feel bad though, I made the mistake of eating something while reading your blog and laughed too hard and ended up inhaling a piece of food and almost choked to death. Or worse; spitting food all over my computer. You almost killed me, but I forgive you ๐ And I’ve got nothing on what dreaming of cornfields means… Longing for summer?
Oh dear, forming an llc is suddenly making sense now. Maybe I should put an eating disclaimer on here? Longing for summer, let’s go with that. ๐
Oh dear that happened to me too in the past, I made a terrible mess :/
congratulations on your award! you definitely deserve it. i absolutely love your blog, always makes me laugh.
Thanks!
At what point to they start being able to open the “child proof” easier than us? Every time I open food for my kids they have to pay a “toll”, meaning I get some. Not good for my waist line, but does get them to open their own stuff if they can.
Congrats on the award!
Clever!
We do this too and call it a food tax. Doesn’t really work at getting them to open things themselves though. Or maybe I just have an extremely lazy 8 year old.
My 2 year old at least tries to open stuff on his own, but that just may be b/c he’s 2. My 6 yo, depends on the day. Kindergarten has taught him a lot about how to use scissors to open gummies.
In our household, we call that tax. (Or it is GST in Australia). If you carry food/beverages to another person – you are entitled to 10%. The same logic applies more or less to opening jars/packets and preparing sandwiches etc.
that’s gold!
When I was in my 20s, I couldn’t get a jar of pasta sauce open and was almost in tears I was trying to hard. My door bell rang and it was a teenager selling chocolate for his school. I told him if he opened my jar I would buy some chocolate! He opened it with no problem, grrrr. So had pasta and then chocolate for dessert!
That is a great combo!
You obviously loosened the lid for him!
How mom opens jars …. “husband please open”
Yeah, that is in part two. ๐
My 9 yr old knows if she wants access to whatever is in the jar she either opens it herself, or raises the other 3 kids herself. My 7 yr is incapable of opening anything.
So is 9 the magic jar opening age?
Awesome news about the Bloggie!! Yours is the only one in that category I read, and I am really happy they went with my choice for the winner! Now you are going to be making even more bags and bags of money, huh? That’s how it works, right?!?
I certainly hope so. I’m still waiting for that first bag to show up. Must have gotten lost in the mail.
I always bang it on the counter until my husband hears and says, “let me open that before you shatter it.” LOL Congrats!!!
I do that too, sometimes it works. And I’ve never actually broken a jar! The tile would be more likely. Hmmm, maybe that is what those chips are from.
the ones on the floor the kids eat? lol
congrats on the win!! Where’s the one for moms who have two babies, and can hardly open a jar without accidentally peeing their pants?
hahaha! Love it.
That one is coming on Thursday.
HA! Been through this – only one baby at the time, though!
I’m 31 and I still hand my jar over to the hubby to open it if he’s around lol.
“No no no!!!” is what I hear when I try to help my 2 year old. He then gives me an evil glare and proceeds to get angry at the jar he can’t open.
Congrats on the award!
Your first three pictures are bang on! My kids are 1 and 3.5 so I haven’t experienced the other stages yet. I, myself, am in the “handing it over to husband without even trying to open” stage, because I’d rather spend time reading your blog than dealing with jars.
Congratulations on the award, you’re an inspiration!
As a mother of an almost 2 year old, 4 year old and 6 year old, I can attest to the fact that this is spot on.
Congrats on the Bloggie! I think you were dreaming of cornfields because if you write/draw it they (readers and bloggie awards) will come – ala Field of Dreams.
Good analysis!
For the record, if you can’t get it open, use a bottle opener to peel back the jar lid until you hear the seal pop. I lived on my own too long and got desperate one day when one wouldn’t open…
Best. Tip. Ever! Now I don’t have to feel like such a wuss!
I have a jar opening tool so I don’t have to ask hubby but my kids tell me all the time “Daddy can do it.” Daddy can also change batteries!! Problem is they have to wait for him to get home!
I don’t see that it’s a problem to wait “until Daddy gets home” to change the batteries. I tend to have a hate/hate relationship with most battery operated toys!
Ha! I was thinking the same thing!
Sadly, my husband is technologically incompetent and, since it extends even to jar opening, I am the “jar opener officiale” in my household. Which is why we don’t use jars. Pass the can opener, someone…
ha-ha, but I would say, this is how ‘boys open a jar’, with girls it is a little different – until the age of 3 it is the same, but then, most girls would open it themsleves:)
Agree, except with 7-18 if they have a friend around, then they have to be big and bad and tough and open the jar all by themselves.
If you blog it the will read?????
I thought this was a description of my husband opening a jar….baahahahahah, love that guy!
A little tip to open jars…take the backside of a butterknife and hit the edge of the lid a few times around the edges…it will pop right open.
You need this: http://www.wayfair.com/OXO-Jar-Opener-21181-OXO1026.html?refid=GPA49-OXO1026&gclid=CN2d65a3wa4CFUWQ7Qodpx-uPg
No, really. One of the best kitchen tools ever!
And thanks for all the laughs. I was just thinking this morning I hadn’t read anything by you for a while and wondered if the sneaky Facebook newsfeed was holding out on me! ๐
Congrats on the award!
According to dreammoods.com…
“To see corn in your dream signifies abundance, prosperity, growth and fertility. Also consider the pun that something is “corny”.
To see a field of corn in your dream represents domestic bliss and harmony.”
๐
Ha! Awesome, thanks for that!
Jars I can do. Why must they make the fruit juice bottles so hard to get into???? I’m the single Mom of twin 21mth boys and can’t wait til they can do the juice boxes!
Wicked congrats on the bloggie!
Haven’t you guys ever used a spoon? Just gently bang the side of a spoon (or butter knife) on a 45 degree angle on the lid (the top and side of it) around the lid. That loosens the lid and it makes it easy to open. Voila!
Go, you! Congratulations on your well-deserved Bloggie, Amber!
Thanks, Beth!
lol, then if they are a man they will forever be the jar opener. I hate opening jars…
I love the age 4 one!! So true!!
My son _may_ have gone through the asking-you-to-do-it stage around 5-6, but he soon started successfully opening new jars, and now offers to open them for everyone! It’s just like the I’ll-do-it stage, except they actually _can_ do it! I guess you haven’t gotten there yet, lol.
That sounds blissful!
Haha – nowadays my Mom asks me to open jars for her. It’s kind of a sweet cycle.
Thanks for another good cartoon ^_^
i love this. i have a 14-mo-old who still gums/licks/slobbers upon all things, but I can already sense that “me do it!” thing just under the surface…
and amber, great job on your award! thanks thanks for making us chuckle so much.
My 2-year-old is firmly in the “do it myself” stage, for sure. Everything is “Lily owwwwwwn!” and then “…Mama help.”
If no one is around to help me open a jar, I just use…a strap wrench. Yep, I keep it in my kitchen drawer! ๐
My mom got me one of these for Christmas a few years ago (pre-baby) and I don’t know what I ever did without it! http://www.pamperedchef.com/ordering/prod_details.tpc?prodId=8762&words=jar%20opener
I have a 2-year-old, a 3-year-old and a 4-year-old, and you’ve got ’em all pegged. It’s a lot of drama, because I’m constantly having to remember who NOT to offend by trying to help them… and then they have a birthday, and all of a sudden, they change! How in the heck am I supposed to keep up with that? LOL! Love your blog so much– if I had started a blog I would have wanted it to be EXACTLY like yours! ๐
I have a 2yo, 4yo, and 5yo, and I definitely hear ya. Heaven forbid you offer help to the wrong child.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
You are so funny. It always makes my day to read your blog ๐
‘Bout sums up child development. The four year old one is so true. So conflicted. Funny. As usual.
Here I was hoping that 4 was gonna get easier!!!
Four is awful. So you know about the “terrible twos” and the “troublesome threes”? Yes, well the fours are known as the “f-ing fours” for a reason. Sometimes they dribble over into the fives as well. It’s dependence vs independence and it’s a hideous battleground! Good luck, you’ll need all your patience and plenty of sleep to get by. ๐
I found four to be the most difficult year too. At least, with my vast experience with just one kid. ๐
Please don’t tell me that. I have a child turning four in one month and was hoping for a slightly better year than the past two have been. We’ve made some improvements, but I was looking forward to accurately following directions and better listening skills and a better bedtime routine.
haha! how many adults do you know who can do all that?! (I say this with a slight sense of desperation as I have a 2.5yr old son – people keep saying “it gets better”)
Good to know what I’ve got in store for the next few years, lol. Congratulations on the Bloggie, you totally deserved it!
According to the dreammoods.com dream interpreting website….. Corn-
To see corn in your dream signifies abundance, prosperity, growth and fertility. Also consider the pun that something is “corny”.
To see a field of corn in your dream represents domestic bliss and harmony.
So there ya go! PS- I looove your blog and congrats on the win! My hubby and I seriously crack up at your posts. Have you seen your Target one floating around on Pinterest?!
Forget about the jars… It’s those easy open peel here cheese stick wrappers that drive me nuts! I can never get the peel here to separate!
OMG you nailed it. Especially 4. So tired of 4 around here.
Congratulations on the win…Your blog makes my day. Thank you..
Congrats on the win! I definitely voted for you!
And this post is so true. I’m going through the 3 year and the 4 year times right now.
Ok, here is how you open a jar. Turn it upside-down & put it in the crook of your arm, or btwn your knees, then hit it as hard as you can on the bottom of the jar. That pops the sill everytime.
Amber, congrats on the blog award. This makes my day everytime I read it.
To all people thwarted by a jar: You need a Jar Key! Simple little plastic device costing from $5-$10 depending on your country (looks a bit like a bottle opener, but plastic in funky colours), and it just levers gently against the side of the jar to release the vacuum. The little bit in the middle of the jar lid pops up, and presto, a very easily opened lid. It’s the easiest thing in the world – forget those unweildy clamps and things. ๐
OMG, I love this – SO accurate!! I am the jar opener in my family, because hubby is seldom nearby when required and anyway, I’m too darned independent to keep running for help. Tough ones get helped with a little square rubber mat that lives in the under-sink cupboard. I also specialise in twist-top beer bottles – I’ve shown up a few guys with my technique there – super grip hands. ๐
Hey, congrats on winning! I voted and I never vote on anything. For a humor blog, your blog is oddly touching and easily relatable for most parents, regardless of parenting “style.” I like that you’re funny without being mean. Pretty good for a “crappy” old blog! Thanks for what you do.
I try really hard to not be mean or too negative, glad it comes across that way, thanks!
You forgot the Opens it up side down phase then cries because it spills all over them!
That’d be my vote what did it. Yep.
Congratulations on your award! You make me laugh and you deserve it!
You haven’t gotten to the part where YOU ask your teenage son to open the jar for YOU ….. or get something down from a high shelf…. or carry in the heavy boxes from Costco…… there are great benefits for a short mom having tall teenage boys ๐
My 8 year old can fill up her own water bottle, but she always screws the lid on so tightly she can’t get it off again. After the 5th or 6th time of having to do it for her I finally showed her how to make sure it was tight but not too tight. We’ll see if it happens again. ๐
Three minutes after I finished reading the crappy pictures, the 17-year-old handed the bottle of nail polish to me and said, “Can you open this?” Before I went into the kitchen to find the right tool to help open it, I handed the laptop to her to read the blog. She was as amused at the timing as I was.
Just wait, they go through the I’ll do it myself phase again!
Mine are 2 and 6 and this is just so spot-on true. Nice.
Love your blog – always makes me laugh!! Congrats on the award ๐
My trick for opening difficult cans is to take a pretty heavy-weight butter knife and hit the lid about six or seven times around in a circle. Works every time!
Congratulations on the Bloggie, April!!
Congrats on your award! I voted for you; you deserve it!
This is TOO TRUE!!! ๐ LOL
Congratulations on the Bloggie. It is well deserved. Cheers!
Congratulations on your award. You totally deserve it. Thanks for making me laugh so hard so often!
Congrats!
Congrats on the Bloggie! So glad you won. I don’t have kids (yet – ttc), but I love your blog. As for opening things, I always thought that once you had a kid, you developed “Mom Hands” and could open anything. Not being a mom myself, I always have to go in search of someone who is a mother when I’m at work and can’t open something (like a soda bottle that has already been opened and then closed again by *me*).
Congratulations! Definitely deserved it. Another hilarious read. So so true. Mine are 5 and 2 and do exactly that.
Congratulations Amber!!! You so deserve it! I always love love love your articles and drawings and totally spot on humor!!! You are soooo talented!!!
Congrats! You deserved the win!
The I want it, Dont want it conundrum has already started at my house, he’s only 18 months
We’re in the teenage years around here. I wonder if they do anything?
My little one discovered at around 18 months she could get yogurt (lids sealed only with the foil-type stuff) using the following steps:
1) Bat eyes at 4-year-old sister until she opens the fridge.
2) Rummage with callous disregard for structural integrity of fridge contents until yogurt appears.
3) Use sharp little front teeth to bite around the edge of the foil at least a quarter of the way around.
4) Throw yogurt cup at the tile kitchen floor repeatedly until the weakened foil gives way and ruptures.
5) Pick yogurt cup up from pile of yogurt, apply spoon also scammed from sister or scavenged from table, and eat remaining half of yogurt triumphantly in living room.
(It takes surprisingly little time!)
Congrats on your award. You always make me smile. ๐
Slack Tart Shortcuts Rulebook.
Never attempt any household activities that might put your carefully painted nails at risk.
Opening jars is in this category, I’m with the kids – get someone else to do it…
Congratulations xoxo
Ha ha! I love ‘No, I do it ‘self!’ So true.
Congratulations on the win! You deserve it – and so much so that I even dragged myself out to vote for you myself ๐
Well done, you! Gonna ask my mom to open a jar for me in your honor…
I love your posts, they are so funny and so true! My little boy is 3.5 and he is already at the 5 – 18 year old stage. Sigh, I was hoping there would be some light at the end of the tunnel…
This is seriously good stuff! I haven’t seen such awesome intelligent humor in any other blog. I heart you!
Selfishly off topic, but this reminded me of being poorer than dirt poor at 20, living in a crap ass boarding house and waitressing where I got free leftover rolls, and banging a butter knife through the lid on a can of peas because I forgot I didn’t have a can opener and couldn’t afford one that night! Oh, good times.
We’ve scored two huge rubber bands over the years that are top notch for opening most jars. Phew!
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Now I can get all the extras from SWTOR ๐