Book, Book, Booky, Book

I just wrote a post about the fact that:


And I hit save and… it was gone.

So now you are stuck reading this lame short one so please lower your expectations.

Anyway, the point of the post is what I’ve already said, so really I don’t need to write much.

I wrote a book!

It looks like this:

parenting illustrated with crappy pictures

It is red and shiny* and will be available soon.


I also want to mention that the book is over half new material, I think the breakdown was roughly 70% new stories. You’ll recognize the old favorites if you’ve hung around here for the last year and a half or if you’ve ever stayed up too late reading the archives. Iย hadย to include them, the book wouldn’t have been complete if I had left certain stories out. But most of it you haven’t seen.


So go HERE to see where to pre-order and read more details.


*I don’t know if it will be shiny. It might be matte. Don’t sue me.ย 


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124 Responses to Book, Book, Booky, Book

  1. Jessica says:

    Sold!!! Can’t wait!

  2. Christine Olson says:

    I am so happy for you!!!
    Thank you for the gift of laughter that you share with the world.
    In celebration, I have the best knock-knock joke for you and Crappy Boy!

    (It’s best said outloud!)

    Knock Knock.
    Who’s there?
    Smell Mop.
    Smell Mop Who?
    (laughing because of how it sounds outloud!!!)

    Love, Christine

  3. Carol says:

    I read your whole blog in just a few days back in December (yes, when I should have been worried about decorating and wrapping presents and whatnot), and love whenever you have a new post. I can’t wait to read your book when it comes out!! I always look forward to the end of March because that’s the beginning of spring, but your book may just trump that. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  4. Bethany says:

    Awesome. Congrats! You’re one of the few links my husband appreciates me sending to him ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Kari says:

    Yay! I’ve been reading your blog for quite a few months. The day I caught up on reading all of your posts was a terrible day. I realized I’d actually have to WORK while at work. I wish you could post 10 a day so I’d have something funny to distract me. I will definitely be buying your book or asking someone to buy it for me. No… I’ll be buying your book. Yay! ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Ginger says:

    yay!! Been waiting for this for a very long time ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. turtlebella says:

    I just want to mention to all the fab Parenting Illustrated with Crappy Pictures readers that on-line pre-sales are really important– more important than I ever knew until some writerly type friends of mine posted about this on the ol’ book of face. So…if you love CP & you are thinking you are going to get this book when it comes out…go ahead and pre-order it NOW instead of waiting. Plus then you won’t forget (if you are anything like me! ha!)…

    PS I don’t actually have any affiliation with Amber or know her, I’m not a publicist for anything, much less the publishing house, etc etc. This is just friendly PSA!!!

    • amber says:

      ๐Ÿ™‚ Tis true. Pre-order sales help the publisher know if they should (and if so, where they should) send me on a book tour for example. That and a whole bunch of other stuff that is important. I’ll probably write about this next month when we’re closer and I’m in a nervous panic.

      • Michelle says:

        I have been reading your blog since my son was born 2 and some odd years ago and have read the whole thing! You keep me going on rough days! I was ecstatic to read this post and immediately reserved/bought my crappy pictures book! If i get any say in your book tour as a pre-sale costumer, you will come to Florida! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Devan says:

      Thanks for the PSA, I didn’t know that and will go preorder now! ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Ally says:

    Mayim Bialik’s blurb is spot-on.
    “Amber Dusick has transformed the truest, grittiest, most cringe-inducing trials of parenthood into something wonderfully hysterical, poignant and meaningful.”

    May I add that the real gift of your work, for me, is reminding us that the joy in parenting comes from sticking around, paying close attention and finding the humor in the everyday, messy moments we initially would like to flee. No need for the rose-colored glasses. Armed with a sense of humor, the poop-colored ones work just fine.

  9. Leaca says:

    Available from Indigo! HURRAY! Can’t wait to read this!

  10. tara says:

    Oh my god congratulations!!! That is so awesome, can’t wait to read it!!!

  11. I’ve just pre-ordered it on Amazon UK! ๐Ÿ˜€

  12. amanda says:

    Yay so exciting can’t wait!

  13. Becky says:

    Will this be available electronically at all for a Kindle for example? Just wondering because real books make really good stools and confetti at my house right now.

    • amber says:

      Yes, it is available for pre-order on Kindle from Amazon; Nook from B&N as well as in ebook form from a variety of other online places.

      • April says:

        My Kindle doesn’t show color. Will that decrease the enjoyment of your pictures at all? In other words, how much will your stories rely on seeing more than different shades of gray?

        I’d rather get it on my Kindle, but if it’ll suck, I’ll probably get the book instead.

        • RedGirl says:

          I’m wondering the same thing too… I want the Kindle version, but not if it doesn’t translate well to b&w.
          ๐Ÿ™ (I know, I have an old Kindle) I’d like to pre-order, but I just don’t know whether to commit to the Kindle or the book version. ha ha

  14. Woolies says:

    So exciting. I get to tell people that I “know” an author! A famous author! it makes me cooler, somehow. How old am I?
    Of course, your book is all about me.


  15. Katherine says:

    I have a question about the book. It is just like the blog, right?

    Part of me is worried because it’s called a “book” that it will be some new stories (i.e. blog posts) but lots of writing and chapters and whatnot. Not that I hate reading or anything. Also Amber’s writing is really funny even without the pictures. But I’m expecting mostly/almost entirely new blog posts with crappy pictures printed out. In color. That’s what we’re getting, right?

    • amber says:

      Yeah, it is formatted exactly like the blog. A truckload of pictures and not a whole lot of text.

      • Heather says:

        Even if it was a different format, it would still be hilarious. It’s not like a different person is writing it. Whatever it looks like, it’s going to be awesome-sauce.

  16. I follow your blog, and I love it. I have two kiddos a bit younger than yours and they think poop is hilarious. I, on the other hand, think you are hilarious. Thanks for writing a book. It will be a dangerous day when it comes in the mail as I will probably hideout in the bathroom reading and laughing for awhile as my kids destroy in the living room. Preferably without poop, but you know . . . thanks anyways!

  17. Kaydee says:

    I’m one of those who stayed up way too late reading all your posts a few months ago and I’ve been hooked ever since! I will most definitely order your book!!!

  18. Donna Karpan says:

    Ordered through! Can’t wait! My babies are all grown , and now my grand-babies are having their own little ‘poop-makers’…this will be a great gift for them! ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. Congratulations!!! this is so awesome. And you know I’ll sue you if it’s not glossy xo {btw – thank you so much for linking to the book}

  20. Michelle Black says:

    I took it as a sign from the Crappy universe that I must have this, since it’s being released on my birthday!

  21. SummerRay says:

    Yay! I just pre-ordered one on Amazon! Can’t wait!

  22. Kali says:

    Are you going on tour with it also?

  23. Wendy says:

    congratulations!! i can’t wait!!!!

  24. Jess says:

    Just pre-ordered from B&N today!!! Can’t wait! Some days I feel like you have a spy camera in my house and are blogging about my life! ๐Ÿ™‚ Thank’s for the reassurance that I’m not the only one!

  25. betz White says:

    Yay! Congratulations! Can’t wait to buy a copy for myself and every mama I know! Even my boys, 11 and 13 love your blog!

  26. Erika says:

    Congratulations on the forthcoming birth of your book baby! Ooh, I can’t wait to read it! Knowing me, that will take me all of one day at the most… I’m sure it will be a great success! ๐Ÿ˜€

  27. Fenny says:

    I, too, have just ordered it from Amazon UK. I may end up getting several copies as presents for my chums.

  28. Holly says:

    I’ve just ordered a copy! (Am in the UK)

  29. Bronwen says:

    Hi, I would love to get your book too! Do you know if it will be available in New Zealand????

  30. Lyra says:

    Yea! Congratulations on joining the author leagues (I write under a pen name). There’s nothing like the joy of holding your own book in your own hands and unlike a child, it can’t vomit on you.

  31. Ceri says:

    I think you need to set up a section of your blog for us all to comment on each story. Like, the pages that the story starts on or something….. I think you are amazing, but the comments here are almost as good as the blog posts! Please consider this. And CONGRATS!!!!!!! I will be ordering one as well. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Trisha W. says:

      That would be fun but I guess she would have to do it rather generically (Picture 1, Page X) so as to not defeat the purpose of reading and buying the book itself.

  32. Gosia says:

    Noooooo fuckin way! 1st of April is my due date and I think I found myself a push gift or whatever you call it.

  33. Trisha W. says:

    I’m so happy I caught your Facebook announcement today. I pre-ordered my copy via Amazon and posted on my Facebook page suggesting people buy some gifts. Good luck!

  34. Kristina says:

    Officially pre-ordered! I can’t wait to read it ๐Ÿ™‚

  35. tanja says:

    i just pre-ordered on i noticed the release date for the store is in May, so I just ordered from the .com store, and it will ship to me in Europe just fine. in March.

    congrats, Amber! i love your blog!

  36. Shell says:

    So exciting! Can’t wait!

  37. Sellis says:

    Done and done! Just pre-ordered from Amazon and got a copy for my sister too! I have two girls (15 and 8), but still remembering how crazy (er, fun?) it was when they were younger. Keep it coming!

  38. Leslie says:

    Just ordered a copy for my daughter – expecting her first baby in May!

  39. Shannon says:

    Congrats on the book! I almost never buy books (library reader here) and I really never pre-order them, but I just pre-ordered yours on Amazon and I can’t wait!!

  40. Kate says:

    Went to preorder on amazon uk but there is no kindle version available ๐Ÿ™ I hope it will be pleeeeease. This is THE only blog I read xxx

    • Angela says:

      Order it on and you can get it on kindle just the same, that is what I just did.

      • Kate says:

        It wouldn’t let me, I tried but it said I have to purchase on as that is where my kindle is registered ๐Ÿ™

  41. Misty says:

    I just pre-ordered! I can’t wait!!

  42. Emily says:

    Pre-ordered! Now I have to wait 50 days. I’m gonna need one of those tear chains…

  43. Tanya says:


    Will be gifting it!!

  44. Amy says:

    Pre-ordered on Amazon! I’m not good at waiting…

  45. Rebecca Emin says:

    Immediately pre-ordered on, and I also liked and tagged the book. Can’t wait to read it! And congratulations!

  46. Shannon Lynch says:

    3 copies pre-ordered!

  47. Amy says:

    Congratulations!! But I’m really hoping “Penis Pizza” is in there!!! That is my favorite!!

  48. Ada says:

    I can’t wait for it come out! I might have to pre-order it!

  49. jenny says:

    preordered from Amazon ๐Ÿ˜‰ I can’t wait to have these funnies in my nightstand for an anytime laugh!!

  50. Jen says:

    YAY! And March 26th is my son’s birthday! After giving birth, I’m a firm believer in buying myself a gift every year on my kids’ birthdays. haha

  51. Tara Smith says:

    Well Done! I just pre-ordered 4 of them! ๐Ÿ˜€ You are terrific! <3

  52. Miki Brotzler says:

    Yey!! I have no kids and parenting is a foreign term to me but I still love your stories!! Congratulations!

  53. Selena says:

    CONGRATS… I can’t wait to make my belly hurt from laughing so hard ๐Ÿ™‚

  54. Rachael says:

    Wooo!! I’ve been waiting excitedly since you first announced the book. Just pre-ordered. ๐Ÿ˜€

  55. Amanda says:

    Yay! Congrats! I cant wait to read your book! I love your posts here, you rock! gonna ask hubby for your water bottle and stuff for my bday this summer lol gonna get your book before then though ๐Ÿ™‚

  56. Heather says:

    I *KNEW* I was saving my Barnes & Noble giftcard for a reason! I am totally excited to put it to this good use….even if I do have to wait until the end of March to see the fruits of my purchase ๐Ÿ™‚

  57. Jessica says:

    Just pre-ordered off Can’t wait….is it March yet? I need a laugh…

  58. Andrea says:

    I thought it was supposed to be red, shiny and covered in farkles! Congrats, I will be ordering my copy shortly. ๐Ÿ™‚

  59. Amy Barron-Gafford says:

    It comes out on my birthday, yeah!

  60. That is so rad! Good for you! That’ll look good on a coffee table.

  61. Jen says:

    yay! officially pre-ordered!

  62. Aimee says:

    Congrats! Can’t wait to read it!

  63. Jenni says:

    Yay! Just pre-ordered a copy for myself and one for my sister. Congrats to you, and thanks for the laughs!

  64. karecoyne says:

    Awesome! My birthday is March 24th-Happy Birthday to me.

  65. marissa says:

    Please oh please come to Boston there is a cult following here ….. Please… Jamaica Plain specifically… Kinda like Berkeley meets the Mission minus the great food. Please! And so jealous Blossom read your book. <3 her.

    Congrats! Will be ordering it shortly

  66. Monica says:

    It comes out on my birthday…so Happy Birthday to me!!! =)

  67. TiffBlakey says:

    Ok, it’s been preordered. Can’t wait!

  68. Ashley says:

    Hi Amber!
    Congratulations … I can’t wait to read it ๐Ÿ˜€

    I do have one question regarding language… are there any curse words in it? I’m considering pre-ordering for my sister in law who’s due right around that time, and I think they’d find it hilarious except they are very anti cursing… so not such a good idea if there is any questionable language in it (sh!t is probably okay, f*ck probably not)


  69. Sheryl M says:

    Done! Just ordered my Kindle version and I can’t wait to get it. I know I’ll be giggling like a nut case and making those around me wonder what is going on ๐Ÿ˜‰

  70. Ioana says:

    can’t wait to read it!

  71. Melissa says:

    Ahh I need to pre-order this. It comes out the day after my scheduled c section so I won’t be able to go out and buy it but I’m sure it would make my recovery time a lot more enjoyable (or painful if I’m laughing too hard lol)

  72. Cathy says:

    Pre-ordered! I can’t wait!

  73. David says:

    My wife and I love your blog. Just to let you know, most programs keep a temp save of the file in one of the temp folders on your computer. If you remember approx the time and day, You may be able to recover it. Let me know if you would like to try and I could try to guide you through the process.

  74. Chris Carter says:

    YAY!!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS AMBER!!! I can’t wait to read it!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  75. Lauren says:

    woohoo!! congratulations!! There are a lot of funny mommy blogs running around, but nothing gives me a little twinge of joy like seeing a new crappy post in my inbox! Thanks for the joy! You’re my super favorite!

  76. You rock the house, yo.

  77. Congratulations on your book. I can’t wait to read it because there is never time I come to your blog that I don’t leave smiling.

  78. Kristin says:

    Just ordered mine from Amazon! Yay! Can’t wait! And what great endorsements! Way to go!

  79. Ali says:

    I can’t wait! (I work in a library, so I NEVER, buy books, but I am buying YOURS!)

  80. MarineMommy2012 says:

    Arhg! If I wasn’t moving in a month I would pre-order the hardcover! Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to wait ’til we get there. I’m buying some for gifts, too. Every mother needs this kind of humor!!

  81. neo says:

    Congratulations! Can’t wait to read it.

  82. Kai says:

    I am going to get this book either way, but just be honest here – hardcover or Kindle? I love me some Kindle, as with some other illustrated books, thinking the hardcover is better.

  83. Tammy D. says:

    Amber? Amber? I mean that is fine, but I just didn’t get “Amber” from you. But I’m a “Tammy”, and I hope to God no one gets “Tammy” from me, so that is OK. Good luck with the book. I absolutely love your stuff and connect my buncha buncha preschool families I teach to you.

  84. Tara says:

    Ordered my copy! I can’t wait!

  85. Devan says:

    Pre-ordered on Amazon! Woot! Can’t wait!

  86. Karen says:

    I too have just pre-ordered two books on Amazon UK!

    One for me and one for my friend who is due in the Summer and at first won’t realise just how biographical this book is going to be…

  87. tarabyte says:

    Pre-ordered from Amazon. Can’t wait!

  88. Heather says:

    Oooooh…can’t wait! And I don’t care if it’s shiny or matte, it’s gonna be good!!

  89. Judianne says:

    So I started reading this blog today and I’m addicted! Already pre-ordered my copy of the book and so excited that it’s coming in time to be a wonderful birthday present to myself! Thanks for keeping me entertained at work!