Crappy Boy and Crappy Baby are planning for their birthday party. They’ll have another joint party because their birthdays are two weeks apart and because they want to. (Thank goodness.)
They both have their own opinions on important matters like balloon colors and cake decorations so it will be pretty eclectic and uniquely them. Which is great.
They will also have a piñata.
They have always had a piñata at their birthday parties. (Well, for the last two birthdays anyway. Before that, Crappy Baby didn’t exist and Crappy Boy wasn’t allowed to eat candy, poor thing. It must be hard being the firstborn. Subsequent kids get so much more candy.)
Piñatas are awesome. For the kids.
A bunch of kids take turns beating a cute and colorful object (often an animal) with a stick until it breaks open and its candy guts spill out. Then they eat the candy. This seems backwards. I think we should give them candy first and then let them beat things with sticks. A much more efficient use of the sugar high.
The first year we had one, we made this homemade pumpkin piñata. You see how the kids are calmly picking through the loot that just dropped out? That isn’t the end of the story. I know because I was there.
The story actually continued with them eating a lollipop or two. Then with their energy replenished, they returned to the dangling hollow piñata to beat it some more.
Once they severed it from the string and it fell to the ground, a little girl (it was Wendy’s middle girl which makes it even funnier but probably just to us) started bashing it with the stick:
And the other kids cheered her on, WWF wrestling style. Then they all took turns until it was properly pulverized. Or dead, as another little girl said.
And then of course we served cake. Right before everyone got in the car to go home. This is why parents love birthday parties! (Actually, that year was the year they had pumpkin pie.)
So this year I asked if they wanted to make a piñata again. But they both said no. They wanted to buy one. And this is that story…
We are out running errands and we realize we’re next to a store that sells piñatas. We go in.
I’m a little nervous because Crappy Boy and Crappy Baby have been butting heads all day. It has been one of those days where one of them screams because the other one is looking at him. How on earth are they going to agree on a piñata? We are not going to buy two.
To hopefully avoid conflict, I tell them that we don’t have to decide on one today. We’re just looking to get ideas.
And the ideas are plentiful.
I excitedly point out ones I think they’ll like. Even agree on. Pirate ships, race cars, ice cream cones. So many to choose from. I think for sure they’ll pick the race car one. We could do a race car theme!
But they continue down the aisle.
Finally, near the end they come upon one and they both start pointing and jumping up and down:
A giant soccer ball. I mean giant.
I have nothing against soccer balls. Or soccer. But neither of them have ever shown an interest in soccer. I mean, we own a soccer ball. But they don’t really play with it. And that is where the soccer connection ends. So I am a little confused.
But they seem so happy and so excited (Both of them! At the same time!) that I take it as a success and don’t ask any questions. They agree on one!
As we drive home I think about what on earth made them choose the soccer ball over the race car. Or the pirate ship. Or the robot.
Then I have a realization.
I see the piñata as a decorative themed accessory. You match the accessory to your interests and then you have a party theme. Yay!
While they see the piñata as a candy receptacle. To them, it is functional. And its function is to hold as much candy as possible.
The soccer ball? Yep. Largest darn piñata in the store.