We dug in the yard and you will not believe what we found.
I still can’t believe it.
We found…
A worm.
His name is Link Bait.
Apparently, this is how the internet works now.
Now that I’ve tricked you and stolen your attention (SURPRISE!) let’s do an experiment. I’ll try several bullshit effective sales tricks and see if any of this works to sell my coloring book. Thank you for playing along.
Introduction
We live in an increasingly complex society. Today, more than ever, coloring books are essential. But this is not just another coloring book. This coloring book is revolutionary.
Sound incredible? This is only the beginning!
No other coloring book offers this much flexibility!
You probably thought you couldn’t afford a coloring book. But guess what? The most luxurious coloring book just became affordable.
Talk Up The Product
This coloring book is proven, tested and safe.
And don’t forget…
Low-fat, low-sugar and nutritious!
Fortifying and rejuvenating!
No additives. Safe and effective.
Chosen by 4 out of 5 parents everywhere.
Flatter the Buyer
We extend this invitation to only a special few.
Let’s be honest, this coloring book isn’t for everyone. Not everyone has elegant taste. Only the sophisticated appreciate this exclusive coloring book.
Don’t you deserve the very best?
Buy This – Change Your Life
Tired by all the coloring book choices?
You won’t lose any more sleep over coloring books. This coloring book is your answer!
Pure joy, delight and harmony. You deserve a little self-indulgence.
This is your passport to inner peace. Countless hours of contentment.
Value & Close the Deal
How can you put a price on so much value? What would you expect to pay?
Think again!
Think AGAIN!
Now, for the low price of only:
I urge you to act at once.
What have you got to lose?
Don’t wait any longer!
Buy your Totally Non-Crappy Coloring Book today! You’ll be glad you did.
———-
We really did dig up worms in the yard last summer. The rest of the post may not be as accurate.
Many of the sales lines in this post are from the book Words That Sell.
Bullshit sales copy aside, it is a good, earnest, 56 page coloring book. You will be directly supporting this site and the writer/illustrator of this site (that would be me) when you buy it, too. Link Bait and I appreciate the support!
If you are one of the many (thank you! your support means everything!) who have already purchased the coloring book, please, pretty please write a review because it looks like only six people have bought it so far and one of them is related to me.