Zipper Penis (Non-Crappy Collaboration)

Next up in my October Crappy Collaboration* series is Beth Woolsey.

She writes at Five Kids is a Lot of Kids. She has five kids. Which is a lot.

I “met” her when we were pitted up against each other in a silly contest. (We became friends rather than enemies because that is the way we roll.)  She is so dang funny and real and sincere that she will be discovered any minute. And by “discovered” I mean the book she is writing will be bought by a publisher and then fame and fortune and castles and islands will follow. Or I don’t know, whatever she wants. Certainly a book though.

*Crappy Collaborations are my way to share some of my favorite, funny parenting writers. They wrote the words, I drew the pictures.

Here is Beth’s post, with my crappy pictures…

There’s Something About Cai, By Beth Woolsey

©2009-2012, Beth Woolsey; illustrations ©2012, Amber Dusick

I was half way down the stairs, one three-year-old in hand, when the screaming from the other three-year-old started.

zipper 1

I immediately knew the cause.

Seconds earlier, Cai had unzipped his footed pajamas, and he was in the process of zipping them back up so he could come downstairs with me.

You can see where this is headed, right?

Here’s what I heard:

“Mama, mama, mama, mama.  Wait for me!  I coming!”


…and what should’ve ended in “…iiipp,” was cut short and ended in cries of pain.

I was already dashing back up the stairs when my eyes confirmed what my ears already knew.

zipper 2

Cai had zipped a bit of his penis into his PJ’s.

I don’t know why, exactly, but I really never expected to have a There’s Something About Mary moment with one of my sons.

So I did what any reasonable mother would do, and I unzipped him.

zipper 3

The injury wasn’t so bad.  Honest.  Just a little red sore.

But Cai was confused, bewildered and definitely offended on his penis’s behalf.

Some parents offer a cookie or a lollipop in similar situations.  It distracts the child, cuts short the crying, and it’s soothing.  Not wanting to pass along eating issues, though, we don’t use this approach.  Ever ever ever.

So I bundled Cai on my lap and sat right there on the top step to rock him, and he started to cry and to chant.

zipper 4

Sob.  Sob.  “My penis is NOT OK.” (Emphasis on NOT OK.)

Sob.  Sob.  “My penis is NOT OK.”

Sob.  Sob.  “My penis is NOT OK.”

Thus ensued bereft wailing and gnashing of teeth.  If we had had rags and ashes to hand, Cai would have donned them.

We spent the next several minutes with the ritual chant resounding throughout the house.  And eventually, Cai wound down to the sniffles.  Sniffle.  “My penis…”  shudder… “isnotOK.”  Sniffle.

I was able to slow the rocking a bit.  We finally moved downstairs to the couch.  Twin brother Cael got in a few hugs and awkwardly adorable pats to his brother’s head to express his sympathy.

zipper 5

And then, when Cai was able to speak again some 30 minutes later, he said,

zipper 6

zipper 7

zipper 8





And just when I thought the situation was improving.

How exactly do you explain to a three-year-old that Mommy’s magical healing kiss powers come with certain use clauses and limitations?

I went with the simplest approach.

zipper 9


Run, don’t walk to the hilarious blog Five Kids is a Lot of Kids because she is awesome and I said so. Really, I think you’ll enjoy it.

You can also say hi to Beth on Facebook. If enough of you do it, she will surely owe me another beer. (Yes, that is correct, she already owes me one but I’ll have to go to Portland to get it. Totally worth it.) 


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133 Responses to Zipper Penis (Non-Crappy Collaboration)

  1. Jenn says:

    I’m SO glad I’m not the only one who gets asked to kiss those parts. My too year old gets mad at the answer – NO (of course). We settle with a show or hot chocolate ! Oh boys!

  2. Angela says:

    OMG this was SO funny!

  3. This is just so… perfect. As a parent who also tries not to use food as a reward, and who has a 3 y/o boy, I related so very much! And laughed so hard.

  4. Michele says:

    Oh my Lord, my sides hurt I am laughing so much. Clauses & limitations, so using that!

  5. Jennifer says:

    HAHAHAHA! There are definitely benefits to having a daughter…except all of those benefits go out the window at age 14. Or so I hear. Either way, this is hilarious. And you know what they say – a balanced diet is a cookie in both hands 🙂

    • Kristina says:

      My daughter is only 10 and trust me it can be much earlier than 14 *shudder* I also have 3 boys so I get the fun from both sides of the fence.

  6. jill says:

    This is brilliant! I love the pictures! Thanks for the introduction to Beth, her porch post today is hilarious too.

  7. Stephanie says:

    OMG, I have two little boys and this has not happened, and I’d never even thought about it until now! Now I can worry about this. Yikes!

    • Mona Lisa says:

      Same here, lol. Ages 3 and 1. Sooner or later, one of them will hurt their penis and ask me to kiss it. I better make sure I have cookies handy.

      • Kathleen says:

        Ohh, I have two the same age as you – I sure hope this doesn’t happen, poor little guy. Luckily we have incorporated what is called the “boo boo bunny” which is a little ice pack in the shape of a bunny rabbit – he is called on regularly. No kissing required in a pinch (no pun intended.

    • Amanda says:

      This exact thing has happened to me. Zipper pajama injury and same request. Of course I said no. I still shudder.

      No cookie. Toy truck. (I keep a stash of cheap toys for times like these.)

      But when it’s someone else’s story, I laugh.

  8. Annie V. says:

    I’m laughing and thankful that I’ve never experiened this request. But if I do I will go straight to the cookies!

  9. Tishia says:

    I can’t stop giggling!

  10. Denise says:

    Been there! Usually right after an injury in an ‘unmentionable’ place, I preface it with an exaggerated, “I’m NOT kissing THAT boo boo!” And the giggling after usually does as well to make them happy as a cookie. Which is great, because more for me!

  11. Renee says:

    Awww, bless his little heart! Mommy kisses do make it all better. I was asked to kiss a similar injured body part once, so I just kissed my finger and gave the injured area it a gentle tap.

    • Liz says:

      Smart! Or blow a kiss I suppose? (I’m gathering responses in case this ever happens to me, my little guy is only 8 months)

  12. Jamie says:


  13. Taryn says:

    Once again you’ve found another hilarious blogger that I’ve never heard of and will be addicted to reading. HOw do you find these people?

    I relate to avoiding the food issues but sometimes a cookie is just a cookie.

  14. Kelly Gram says:

    My 2 year old recently had diaper rash in his crack….and said it was soar, and mommy, I need you to kiss it… Um no.

  15. jamie says:

    I have 3 boys and this hasn’t happened…yet. However, a short while back, my husband was blowing raspberries on my 2 year old’s belly and 2 yr old ripped off his diaper and said, “Daddy, can you blow on my wee wee?!”. Uh, i laughed my ass off and my husband had no reaction except to run from the room trying to pretend it never happened.

  16. stacey b says:

    the tiny bit of skin in the zipper was brilliantly drawn…. lol… sadly, an event that we too have had to deal with here in bessey-land…

    • DrJ says:

      I didn’t even see the “brilliantly drawn” bit of skin — too small to notice on phone screen … so thx for pointing it out! Visible and very funny when enlarged! Loved this story and illustrations AND hysterical comments!

  17. T Rohl says:

    Oh boy! Yes, even us super hero moms have limitations!

    Amber, thanks so much for your posts! I’ve told many friends, and look forward to your funny-ness! 🙂

  18. Holly says:

    OH MY GOODNESS! This is TOO FUNNY! I can’t imagine what life has in store for me once my 5 month old boy gets older!

  19. Julie says:

    I have kissed my finger and quickly touched the penis upon that same request when that same thing happened to my barely 2 y.o.. only *I* was the one to zip it. 🙁 At least he recovered more quickly. Apparently his WAS OK. Since then, I’ve ALWAYS had him wear underwear with footie pajamas.

  20. Gina says:

    This made me laugh. I wasn’t expecting that! My 3 year old (now 4 and doesn’t believe Mommy kisses work anymore) once asked me to kiss a booboo on his bottom. I was able to get by with a little tap from my hand that I kissed. Glad I haven’t had to go ‘there’ yet!

  21. Alissa says:

    🙂 My daughter has asked us to kiss her tongue and all sorts of places that aren’t that great. Not wanting to kiss the areas, I have developed a new method. Now, I blow her kisses of healing and they work just as well. She says “Thank you” and everything. 🙂

    • Jennifer says:

      We do the “blow a kiss to you” as well! Once she wanted me to kiss her eye. Not the lid, the EYE!! AAAAHHHH!! And of course all the other usual off limits/no kissing areas! LOL!

  22. Kayla says:

    bwa ha ha ha. Yep, been there, however, I have a very insist-ant boy whom when asked “insert-whatever-distraction-method-here”, he replied with “after you kiss it”… at grandmas… with a roomfull of family… ya, we didnt kiss it, but we did, eventually, find a distraction. bwa ha ha ha!!!

  23. Angela says:

    I was alerted to Beth’s presence in the Web World by you, Amber and I can’t thank you enough. You linked to her sometime earlier this year and I have been an avid reader ever since!! I too have 5 kids and it was such a blessing to find a fellow warrior in the parenting of lots of kids!! Her sharing of her children’s disabilities really helped me with one of my kids and she was more than happy to converse with me about it and offer help, suggestions and just a friendly ear. Thank you thank you and to both of you … Keep Writing!!!!!

  24. MamaJen says:

    i, too, have been asked to kiss on the injured personals… *sigh* always hard to explain why this is not an acceptable ouchie fix in this case. i have taken to blowing a kiss or placing the ouchie fixing kiss onto Bug’s hand & he can apply as needed 😛

  25. Jill says:

    I am laughing so hard at this post right now and the memories of being asked, “Mom, kiss my butt – it hurts” by my precious darling daughter and having to stifle my laughter and explain to her why I won’t – sure could have used those clauses and limitations!

  26. Rach says:

    So funny, I can’t even stand it! New facebook fan for Beth here!

  27. Alexis says:

    Poor penis!!! My 3yr old son did something to his penis (I really don’t know what) and asked the same question!! How sad it really was, of course I couldn’t surpress the giggle from deep down inside….

  28. Angela says:

    This is AWESOME! I get random wierd requests from my monkey twins all the time, body parts are the most awkward.

  29. Jennifer says:

    My daughter (now 6yrs old) Has requested in the past that I kiss the usual places for owies: Limbs, face, tummy, etc. Then there are the not-so-usual parts: Bottom, eye (not the lid, the actual EYE), vagina and yes her tongue. I think her tongue was the 1st off limits place she ever requested as a toddler. I was like, WHAT?!! AAAHHHHH!!! After much negotiating a “blow a kiss to you” was satisfactory. 🙂

  30. Laura says:

    Oh so funny and oh so sad at the same time. Poor little guy. You did the right thing letting him sing lamentations for his manhood. You also did the right thing by giving into the food = comfort in the end! Be well and tell Cai I hope he is ok now.

  31. Aw, awkward question lil Cai but so cute. Glad nothing worse happened!

  32. TJ says:

    I’m just waiting for my 3 year old twins to be potty trained, what fun we will have! We use the word “doodle” (thank you Simpsons) and already the boys are taking care of each other and are obsessed with Doodles.

  33. libby says:

    Love the tiny beige dot representing said penis caught in jammies-zipper. 🙂

  34. Melli says:

    My 3 year old absolutely refuses to wear underwear, so I am totally waiting for this to happen!

    • amber says:

      Yeah, zipper pjs are dangerous sans underwear! It only happened here once and then they happily wore underwear ever since.

  35. Danielle says:

    My four year old asks for kisses in the weirdest of places. We usually settle for the back of her hands.

  36. Brandi says:

    awe. yes, been there 😛 (4 boys) I do the blow kiss, catch in air and put it where you need it. Its fun for them because you can say nope the kiss is just to your right, hurry grab it etc… 🙂

  37. Trisha W. says:

    I’ve told my kids that sometimes it’s best to blow a kiss. (That sounds dirty in this context, but that totally is not my intention.)

  38. Amy says:

    We blow kisses but I think putting the kiss in the child’s hand to allow them to apply sounds like a great plan too. Poor little buddy!!

  39. Am crying with laughter!!! Probably one of the BEST posts ever and the pictures totally make it!!!

  40. Kelly says:

    LOL, that was great! We have had penis injuries before too. I blow kisses at parts I don’t want to kiss and he has never questioned it and it seems to be just as effective. LOL 🙂

  41. Lori says:

    That’s where blowing a kiss comes in quite handy! I’ve used it many times with sore feet or when I’m pregnant and don’t want to get off the couch . . . 😉

  42. Angel says:

    I remember when my now 4yr old had a similar experiance, he was about 2 and a half and he fell, on his butt, in the mall. And while trying to comfort him he starts pulling down his pants (in the middle of the mall!) And says “mama, can you kiss my bum better? Yeah. No. And Pull up your pants boy! I laugh now, cause its funny now 😀

  43. Kimberly says:

    And another reason to thank God I was blessed with a daughter! Now to just keep her hidden from boys for eternity. ;o)

  44. Amy says:

    Oh yes… Boys or girls, sooner or later they will be injured in a private area where kissing is not appropriate. We go with the “blowing a kiss” method… this is also useful for times like car rides where an injury cannot be immediately kissed better, and seems just as effective as direct kissing.

  45. Molly says:

    I was just preaching the dangers of penis zipping in PJs yesterday!

  46. Mercy says:

    Hillarious! I’ve had the same request from my son, and the way I get out of requests for kisses to genitals or butts is to say “Peew, I’m not kissing your stinky parts.” It makes them laugh and they get over it.

  47. Roxi says:

    Well, when my daughter was to, she bit her tongue and asked me to kiss it. So it can get a bit awkward with girls too 🙂

  48. Robin J says:

    My little guy is only 5 months, but I do have 2 younger brothers so I’m fully aware of the various injures penises face on a daily basis. One of my brothers once wrapped a rubberband around his because he didn’t want to pee (was busy playing with a friend or something?) Mom found out when he was in pain from cut of circulation, and having to pee so bad!
    Also, I love how you drew Beth’s hair… such body! 🙂

  49. Ah, boys and their dangly bits. There’s a penis story in every boy. Mine tend to get bug bits, you know, DOWN THERE, and swell up like mushrooms.

    Heard this once from the other room:
    “Mommy, mommy. Come look! It’s HUGE!” to find him staring open-mouthed into his underwear.

    Gotta love it. Thanks for sharing your story!

  50. Kim says:

    Franks & beans! Loving the collaboration posts sooooo much.

  51. Melodie says:

    Once when I was at a La Leche League meeting my daughter fell on her bum and hurt herself. In front of everyone she cried “mommy, kiss my bum please!” Poor thing. Everyone was looking at me and someone said “you should kiss her bum mom,” so I kissed her hip and all was well again amid lots of laughter and embarrassment.

  52. Elizabeth says:

    This is why I don’t ‘kiss things better’ and never have (my kids don’t know it’s an option). Instead I ask them what needs looking at and do a visual inspection and pronounce judgement on how bad it looks (usually not very). Unless blood is involved crying stops once every sore spot has been inspected. I do occasionally get asked to cuddle specific hurts by my 3yr old which involves putting my hand in a precisely specified place (‘no only that finger needs a cuddle not all of them…’). Both boys have had zipped penises and now mostly remember to be careful when zipping.

  53. Allison says:

    This reminds me of a story my mom told me about my brother when he was about that age. Fortunately, there were no zippers involved. I guess my brother had been out swimming & had to go to the bathroom. When he came in, he couldn’t get his trunks off because the tie string had become wrapped around his little penis. 🙁 My mom brought out the scissors to cut the string off, but my brother thought she was going to cut his penis off! I’m guessing he turned out fine, because I have an amazing nephew who himself is now three!

  54. Nadia says:

    So glad I’m not alone with this question! My 20mo son was pinched by a toy getting out of the bath and kept saying “ouch ouch” and pointing at his penis to kiss it better… With me saying Aisha Tyler style “Nooope! Not gonna kiss your penis better, sorry!”

  55. Kim says:

    OH MY GOD!!! The pixel-partial-penis is KILLING ME!!!! hahahahaaaaa!!!!

  56. Amanda Reed says:

    ROFLMBO!! I love her, and read her blog, too. I’m so glad you’re ok with me cheating on you.

  57. Soniya says:

    I’ve definitely been asked to kiss and make the pee pee all better. My favorite though is when my then 3 year old was offended that ihis pen is was “big” and could I fix it for him?

  58. Brandon says:

    This would normally seem comical to me but as an adult male who has had this personally happen as a teenager I feel quite badly for your boy. Although I knew better not to ask for a kiss to make it better. My Ben Stiller/Something About Mary moment might have been better with a cookie but my father rushed me to the hospital instead. Far too embarrassed to get Mom involved but should have as my father couldn’t stop grinning throughout the entire debacle. If this ever occurs with my boy I’ll be far more sensitive to the moment.

    • Angela says:

      I’m quite sure she was sensitive at the moment, as evidenced by the entire article. You know, the holding him and rocking him for at least an hour?

      One of those things that are funny in retrospect after everything is healed. Like virtually everything parenting related.

      • amber says:

        Not sure that he was referring to Beth as insensitive. Rather, the reaction of his dad from his own personal experience. (Ouch, sorry Brandon. Some traumatic or humiliating experiences are never funny, no longer how much time passes.)

  59. Michele says:

    I have 3 grandsons ages 5, 2 and 7 mos. When the oldest was 3 he hurt his penis while he was jumping around naked in his wading pool. I blew him a kiss when he asked me to kiss his penis. I don’t know how the conversation came up, but a few days later my poor, brave son-in-law called and asked me about it. He said, “Aah, Mom? Aiden told me he hurt himself and you kissed his penis?”. Yikes! I stuttered and laughed trying to give an explanation. I vow to only give out candy or cash if ever a similar incident happens, lol 🙂

  60. Hahahahaaaa!! I’m having a boy next month. Is this the kind of fun I have to look forward too? I’ve been spoiled by raising a girl for the last 2.5 years I guess. 🙂

  61. Lee says:

    That’s why we have MAGIC KISSES. For all the bits you can’t kiss, like penises and anuses and the backs of tongues etc, you kiss your fingertips and hold them close. Magic!

  62. sherilinr says:

    oh my goodness, that’s so funny! poor little wiener boy!
    my daughter once smacked her butt onto something and then proceeded (in public) to drop her britches and bend over while yelling, “kiss it, mommy!”

  63. Jennifer says:

    Beth is a friend of a friend, so I have been religiously reading her blog, in addition to this one of course. This post is one of my favorites, and now that my three year old son is potty trained, I think about it quite frequently. Just yesterday I said, “Don’t zip up your penis” to my little I-want-to-do-it-myselfer. Beth, so hilarious, and helpful.

  64. Claire says:

    I don’t know if anyone has already said this idea in the billions of comments, but just in case, here’s what I do. I kiss my fingers, touch them to the owwie (her tongue or butt or foot or whatever I don’t want to actually kiss), then make a kiss noise again. It’s a kiss better through a middle man!

  65. Lacy says:

    That second picture with that tiny pink dot made me laugh so hard, while trying not to really laugh out loud. My 5 year old heard me anyway, “What, Mommy? What?… Mom! What’s so funny??” That picture just killed me!
    Amber, I heard in your interview a little while ago that you were a graphic designer and it figures that your crappy pictures are the ones you’re known for. But really, your crappy pictures are awesome. I’m pretty sure most people could not capture expressions and all the small things you do so well that make them so amazing and SO funny. I could definitely tell that you are artistic and bet you’re really good at non-crappy pictures too. 🙂

  66. heather says:

    omg I was just busting out laughing at this one-I am just amazed that my now 6 year old son has not done that yet… but I dread that moment if it does… and I definitly have the same clause on kissing certain parts…

  67. Possum says:

    I have boys. Three. Been there!
    I have nominated you for a liebster award!
    Come on over and pick it up!

  68. Amber, your pics are the best. The BEST. The penis dot slayed me. I’m still laughing – hours later.

    FYI, I read this to my twins tonight as their bedtime story. They were laughing too hard to sleep, so then we read your penis pizza story, and now they’re singing their own version of the penis song. Sleep may never happen again. Too much penis singing to do.


    Thanks for hosting this and sharing your readers with me. So glad we met during that contest. So glad you WON IT. (Deservedly!) So glad you’re you and willing to collaborate. So glad you wrote a book! So glad I get to buy you a billion beers.


  69. Carolyn F. says:

    This was something my sister’s friend said a long, long time ago in the ’80s. “If you’re going to go commando, always wear button-fly jeans.” I never thought hearing about, then cringing, then laughing about other people’s little boys bathroom or anatomical accidents would be so funny. Moms are sure a weird bunch and easily amused, huh?

  70. Sara says:

    HAHAHAHA – Oh my gosh I laughed out loud on this one 🙂 So much so my kids got annoyed with me becuase I was laughing too much to explain why I was laughing…. Loved it 🙂

  71. Mel says:

    This can happen to girls too. I had to help my sister unzip a pair of jeans once. I don’t know how she zipped them with that much skin there.

  72. Paula Hampton says:

    Beth is a friend of mine, and I’m thrilled you included her story on your blog!

    My husband once had to “free” a little boy of zipper at the elementary school where he was principal. Ouch. Poor little kid. But it’s probably the best story from Larry’s 29 years in education.

  73. My older boy (4) sometimes refers to his penis as an entity, as in, “I have to point him right at the toilet” and “Oh! He’s bigger, bigger, bigger!”

  74. lucky says:

    OMG!!! Hahahhaa!!! that one was really good, Beth! 🙂 and great pix,Amber 😀

  75. Hafizah says:

    Too funny! Love your blog! Today was a long day, baby finally got his “morning” nap (its now afternoon), and now I’m trying not to laugh too loud and wake up baby.

  76. Sarah says:

    Wonderful collaboration, you two! Loved it!!!

  77. Allison says:

    okay – so I retold this story to my husband – and he vaguely remembers the same thing happening to him when he was little. So my question is – do boys not wear underwear under footsie pajamas?? What is the deal?

  78. Oh my! My daughter has asked me to literally “kiss her butt” when she has fallen on it. I have respectfully declined, much to her dismay. But I have never been asked to kiss a penis owie!

  79. Umma says:

    Wow. Little Cai is sure gonna love that this story is PUBLISHED ON THE INTERNET and shared with thousands of people when he starts dating. Yeah. Bah Humbug.

  80. Toya says:

    Rotfl! That made my nite!

  81. Rachel Emrath says:

    LOL, my mother taught me long ago that mother kisses are too strong for, ummmm, sensitive shall we say, areas! So if it’s an undesirable area to kiss, or just plain filthy dirty, I must kiss my fingers and sprinkle the kiss. Otherwise the kiss would be too strong! Hey if they trust the kiss will make it better, they must also trust that sometimes those kisses can be too strong straight up!

  82. hazel says:

    Yikes! comfort eating issues are probably better than strange mummy issues!

  83. KL says:

    I always kiss their arm and tell them that mommy’s healing kisses flow through their body just like blood and will get to the injured spot. I never wanted to kiss their dirty feet 🙂

  84. That was hilarious ^_^

  85. Rach says:

    We have magic kisses – you kiss on the hand, cheek, wherever and the magic travels around the kiddie’s body to the sore bit 🙂

  86. melissa says:

    screamed with laughter. This is hysterical!

  87. Annalisa says:

    This reinforces my resolve not to do anything zippered with a second child, ever, especially if a boy. My daughter is… well… very advanced dexterity-wise. Girlfriend has learned how to open childproof locks, and she’s a few weeks shy of 2. She doesn’t do zippers yet because it hasn’t occurred to her that she could pull it off.

  88. julie says:

    the little dot on the first drawing that he is zipped in. you kill me!

  89. Libby says:

    I find it odd that no one has mentioned that it’s actually okay to kiss all body parts. I don’t think penises or vaginas are weird or gross or “inappropriate,” as someone mentioned.

    Funny to me that the mom in this story is making strides to prevent food issues but is willing to participate in the creation of body issues.

    Might he think something is wrong with him or his penis that his mother won’t kiss it as she kisses other boo-boos?

    Are we teaching our children that so-called “private parts” are not to be touched even by parents, even when they are asked?

    Is he dirty? Is his body dirty? Is his penis sexual and therefore off limits?

    Do you think he might feel shame about his penis if it can’t be cared for the way other parts of is body are?

    • Ellie says:

      Libby, I’m with you! What on earth is ‘wrong’ with consoling a scared and hurt 3 yo with a brief, light kiss where he’s hurt himself? The only ‘inappropriateness’ is in adult eyes. All he knows is that he’s hurt the most sensitive part of his body, and mummy won’t do what she’d normally do – kiss it better.

      To be honest, it wouldn’t even occur to me that this was a no-go until maybe afterwards, and ok, then I might say something along the lines that this was different from a non-parent doing the same. I just ran this scenario by my husband and he also thought it was a non-brainer – very small child injures themselves and requests a kiss better – you kiss better.

    • Lana says:

      that is something to consider. I wouldn’t want a child of mine to think that any part of them was “ugly, unclean or otherwise bad”

      But at the same time it isn’t the kissing of that tender spot that I would be worried about as much as if he told someone and they called the child services and he was taken off me and I was somehow charged with giving a minor a blow job.

      So I would probably blow him a kiss, kiss his hand so he could apply or what ever. And explain that his penis is very special, beautiful even and that its for him only until he’s older

  90. Adrienne says:

    My 4 year old has hurt his penis on several occasions. I leave it simply and give him a kiss on the cheek…”I don’t kiss your penis, tongue, or bottom!” So far that has worked for us. (and, yes, he has asked me to kiss each of these on more than one occasion)

  91. Claire says:

    This should have come with a “do not read at work” warning. I am hysterical with laughter.

  92. AHAHAHAHAHAHA oh jeez! What a conundrum!

    I might have compromised by “blowing” a kiss. No actual contact. Nothing wrong with that, I don’t think, since it’s not like the kid has any sexual construct of the idea in the first place.

    What do the rest of you think?

  93. Randi says:

    Its a long story, but son went through a naked phase and got his penis stuck in the wheel of a Thomas the Train toy. I was more devistated and crying harder than he was.

  94. Jo says:

    Oh no. I’m traumatised! You poor people!

  95. Shelby says:

    I am laughing my butt off at this!

    I’m also ECSTATIC that there us someone else in the world that named their child Cael! That’s my two year old’s name and no one spells it like that in Missouri!

  96. Lana says:

    this is why we only have two piece jammies or buttons. No zippers to catch penis or labia. Yes it can and does happen to girls too if the suit is snug.

  97. Lana says:

    Also if a zipper/genitalia injury comes into A & E they do NOT unzip it. they CUT the pants and the zipper comes apart. If you pull the zipper down it can do more damage than has already been done. For goodness sake CUT the clothes off target has plenty of footy jamas.