Why Parents Hate Cookie Monster

I haven’t written a rant for a while. Actually, I don’t think I ever have written one. So I must be really annoyed. 

I’m mad at Cookie Monster. His behavior is unacceptable. 

This guy:

cookie monster1

He sucks. Cookie monster is an asshole.

But it isn’t what you think. It isn’t the cookies.  

In 2006 Sesame Street decided to react to the childhood obesity epidemic by having Cookie Monster eat healthy food and declare that cookies are a “sometimes food”. They thought parents hated Cookie Monster because he was a cookie enabler.

That was lame. Extra lame.

It isn’t Cookie Monster’s responsibility to teach kids that you can’t eat cookies all day long. He is a monster. Monsters can eat whatever the fuck they want. We’re just lucky he isn’t eating our children.  

No, parents dislike cookie monster’s influence even more now.

It is because of the stupid way that he eats:

cookie monster2

Look at all that food he is wasting! Look at that mess he is making! He totally sucks!

(Come on, I’m pretty sure modern puppetry technology has evolved to where he could actually eat the damn cookies.)

Back when he was just eating cookies his messy way of eating was forgivable. It didn’t cause problems for parents. Why? Because kids aren’t stupid enough to waste cookies like he does. When I was a kid I wouldn’t have dreamt of going Cookie Monster on a cookie. I ate them delicately so I wouldn’t lose a single crumb.

But now that he eats other stuff? Like broccoli? In a really messy way? 

Now kids go Cookie Monster on broccoli:

cookie monster3

And it is all his fault. 

Dear Cookie Monster, please go back on the cookies. Everyone was happier then. Especially you. 

—————

Warning – this is just a rant. I’d actually be really mad (and not just jokingly mad) if they made Cookie Monster eat neatly. Please don’t ever do that, Sesame Street. But give him his cookies back! Forcing him to pretend to like vegetables is just plain depressing. And while you are at it, can you please just stop making new shows and just run all the ones from 1969-1986? You’d save money and we’d all get to relive our childhoods without resorting to YouTube clips like this. And also this. And this one too. And this one! Win win.  

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272 Responses to Why Parents Hate Cookie Monster

  1. Angela says:

    OMG I’m crying I’m laughing so hard at this!

  2. Tracy says:

    “Monsters can eat whatever the fuck they want.”

    LMFAO That is the best line ever.

  3. Angela S. says:

    HOLY SHIT!!! Too Damn funny! I damn near choked on my water!

  4. Kristal says:

    Just to make your life more complete, a dose of Cookie Monster sharing cookies ๐Ÿ™‚

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQQgT7YxEFc

  5. Sooz says:

    Thanks for the morning laugh!

    Now you have me thinking I must’ve been a weird child…. the cookie monster used to bug the hell out of me cause he was so messy LOL

  6. Stephanie says:

    AMEN!!

  7. Alexis W. says:

    Yes, please, and thank you! I will never forgive them for taking away Cookie Monster’s cookies, it’s just wrong.

  8. marie says:

    “Cookie monster is an asshole” is the GREATEST thing I have EVER read.

    Thank you.

  9. sarah s. says:

    so true! i never really went cookie monster on cookies because you have to savor every last bit. but if he’s doing it to other stuff it gives kids an excuse to misplace a few bites of veggies etc.

  10. Mimi says:

    So clever! Ha ha this is amazing ๐Ÿ˜€

  11. That cookie-eating bastard’s table manners definitely need work, but I’m more pissed about Mr. Noodle than anything else. Shame on you, Mr. Noodle, you sicko, you.

    • Jen says:

      Mr. Noodle a sicko?

    • Liz says:

      The guy who played Mr. Noodle played a serial killer on CSI a few seasons ago so now when I see him it just messes with my head.

      • Chris says:

        Oh my god! I hadn’t made that connection before now!

        • Kim R says:

          Mr. Noodle definitely freaks me out! I know I shouldn’t be judgmental, but if my kid sees someone who looks and acts like that right outside her window- I want her to scream and run like hell!

          • Stephanie says:

            Thank you! I can’t stand Mr. Noodle, and I totally feel like he’s not safe around kids. AND, thanks, Chris for pointing out why I recognized him. Now I’ll find him even more disturbing! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Jen says:

      Oh, mister noodle – and the other mister noodle. Are they really brothers? What’s going on there?

      • Melissa says:

        FYI — Mr. Noodle, as played by Michael Jeter, died in 2003. He was HIV + and might have been sickly while on the show. I always thought he looked worn out. It was right about the time John Ritter died, and didn’t seem too terribly long after Fred Rogers died. We lost PBS’s Mr. Noodle, Clifford the big red dog, and Mr. Rogers in one fell swoop.

    • Patricia says:

      What about Mr. Noodle’s brother, Mr. Noodle? Lol! So weird! Lalalala lalalala creepy Noodle bros!!

  12. liz says:

    Brilliant.

  13. Christine says:

    I couldn’t have put it better. And Abbys flying fairy school needs to go too. Seriously, I feel like punching someone in the suckhole every time it comes on. Thankfully I can go clean dishes or vacuum while my son watches it’s absurdity.

    • Allison says:

      Amen! I can’t stand that segment, and neither can my daughter. I also don’t like the claymation Burt and Ernie. At least in our area, we can get Sesame Street on demand (via Comcast), and the episodes available are from 5+ years ago before all this ridiculousness. My daughter and I both like the on demand episodes much better than modern Sesame Street.

      • Jans says:

        Even worse than the actual claymation bert and ernie is the SONG. I don’t care how good their intentions were, the lyrics “everytime the bed starts tapping something special’s gonna happen” should NOT have been put in there!
        Or maybe I just have a very bad mind.

        • HM says:

          OMG to all these comments! I’m so glad my kids outgrew Sesame Street before all this nonsense! I feel so bad for the younger kids – they’re really missing out not getting the great show it used to be…

        • Monica says:

          So true! And what is that even supposed to mean? (I mean in a non-dirty fashion). Does anyone ever see the bed tapping during the Burt and Ernie segment (aside from in the intro song)?

        • Jennifer Bee says:

          I must have a really dirty mind too… because I thought the exact same thing when I heard the intro song. Someone totally knew what they were doing when they wrote those lyrics.

  14. Emily says:

    Hahahahaha! Amen to the bringing back the old Sesame Street back. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12. Loved the number pinball song!

    • Janet says:

      I can’t count to 12 without doing it like the song. Sad I know.

      • Rob says:

        I hear ya there. Either that or the ladybug picnic.

      • amber says:

        Me too.

        • Lisa says:

          …and they all played games – at the ladybug picnic. Doo-doo-doot-doo. Eff new Sesame Street.

          • Brandi says:

            Glad I am not the only one that thinks…”What was so wrong with Sesame Streets old ways, am I THAT ol school?” So I just DVR the old versions for my kids… when they intro is the kids running in the sprinkler.

    • Leslie says:

      I didn’t know anyone else did that (sang the pinball song everytime you have to count to 12! Which happens more often than you think, lol) that’s my ALL TIME favorite song from SS!! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Mary says:

      I sing the ladybug song whenever I count to twelve. Drives my husband batty.

    • Melanie G says:

      i love that song

    • Jennifer says:

      YES!! 1,2,3,4,5…6,7,8,9,10…11,12. LOL LOVE IT!

    • KiwiBunnz says:

      I thought they still had that but it only goes up to 10? Which doesn’t work… I learned how to count in Maori because there was a segment on Sesame Street where a grandad counted his grandson’s fingers and toes in Maori – I assume they had the same sort of thing in Spanish or something in America? Elmo didn’t even exist when I was growing up – it must all be his fault…

    • Cynthia says:

      I do that, and I’d forgotten where it was from. Thanks!

    • Missy R. says:

      And now the 12 song will be in my head all day!

  15. LindaR says:

    I have to admit… I don’t like Cookie Monster either but it’s for a really ridiculous reason that will probably make lots of people roll their eyes at me.

    It’s the way he speaks! “Me love cookies!” “Me go get cookies now!” “Me can’t wait for more cookies!”

    Seriously?! I’m not going to read that drivel to my son – it’s bad enough I have to bring him up in Memphis… the last thing I need is another poor representation of how to speak/behave!

    • Rachel says:

      Im so with you on that!!!! And Elmo too with the 3rd person thing. I don’t get why a show that’s supposed to be educational for young kids teaches them such horrible grammar!

    • Kelli says:

      LOL, LindaR…we’re in Memphis, too! My hubs and I just had that conversation last night when he was trying to read our 2 year old a Cookie Monster book. He was trying to figure out how to read the, “Me love cookies” and “Do you know what else me likes” lines like CM would and I stopped him. Please don’t willingly teach our child how NOT to speak…the neighborhood can do that without our help. ;p

    • Monica Smith says:

      Concur! The grammar issues in Seasame Street has always been very confusing to me. I’m glad I’m not the only one.

    • Leslie says:

      And how about that bear that can’t say his “R’s” right?!? My son is in speech with early intervention!! He doesn’t have to revert back from one stinkin episode of SS!! Grrrr….

      • Lisa says:

        I hate “Baby Beawr”

        • Ancy says:

          I’m sure there are a lot of kids that have speech impediments that think it’s nice a character on a show like SS has an impediment like theirs and he’s treated like everyone else is treated… I’m just saying…

    • Lisa says:

      Cookie Monster’s bad syntax has always bothered me, lol.

    • Jan says:

      “itโ€™s bad enough I have to bring him up in Memphis”.. that cracked me up. thank you!

  16. Melissa says:

    Can I get an “Amen?” Especially that last part (’69-’86) — that takes care of most of the Elmo crap and brings back a lovable Grover (with only sparse visits from Super Grover) AND my beloved (and sassy) Olivia.

  17. mees says:

    you can watch old video clips on sesamestreet.org. they have apps for smart phones so you can take sesame street w/ you wherever you go.

  18. Erica W. says:

    “Dear Cookie Monster, please go back on the cookies.”

    Thanks for the laughs, this blog is my favorite!

  19. Letitia says:

    you are the funniest person on the face of the planet. seriously.

  20. Julia says:

    Actually, I wouldn’t mind if he (and Elmo, for that matter) spoke with correct grammar. I mean, little kids are listening!

    • LindaR says:

      THANK YOU!

    • Kristen says:

      Completely agree. We have a cookie monster book and I correct his grammar as I read.

      • Holly says:

        That’s why he should go back to only eating cookies! “Kids if you only eat cookies, you talk like a moron.” It practically teaches itself.

        • Rana says:

          *laughing*

          I feel sorry for Cookie Monster having to eat vegetables. I mean, he’s a cookie monster! It’s what he eats! Making him eat non-cookie food is like forcing your cat to be a vegan or something.

        • Colleen says:

          This is hilarious. The grammar thing really bothers me, too. But I think you’ve totally figured it out, Holly!

        • Lisa says:

          Genius!

        • Miranda Hubbard says:

          Holly you are a genius! As funny as this post was reading the line about “Kids if you only eat cookies you talk like a moron>” Practically teaches itself is pure genius! Do you have a blog ๐Ÿ˜‰

  21. melanie says:

    I think Cookie Monster should only eat cookies. Kids get it. And one of my favorite clips is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEU8CjPIrpw

  22. Dina says:

    love it! and thank you for adding Ladybug picnic! i sing that to my kids all the time & drive them nuts with it!!

  23. Tatyana says:

    My daughter watches the Old School series and another great one is the “40 years of Sunny Days”. Sesame Street nowadays it’s all about Elmo. There is barely other puppets around and they are just there to interact with Elmo. The whole show now is just a filler for Elmo’s World – alone it takes half of the show. Sigh.

    • Mrs.Israel says:

      Is the 40 years of sunny days on youtube?
      My son (unfortunately) is OBSESSED with Elmo… ๐Ÿ™

    • Rana says:

      What’s hilarious about the Old School set is that it comes with a warning label cautioning parents that it’s not appropriate for (modern?) children. I mean, whut?

  24. Connie says:

    I truly hate that they had to go “politically correct” on the Cookie Monster. I love the old CM and wish they would just bring him back already!

  25. Stacey says:

    I am watching SS with my daughter now. Abby’s Flying Fairy School is on. Awful! Therefore, I agree about going back to those early SS episodes. They were great!

  26. Alex says:

    There are certain foods that we only eat when we’re outside such as tortilla chips. I just know I will have to vacuum if they eat them inside the house.

    I have also considered banning rice from my son’s diet (he’s 4 1/2) because he gets it everywhere… and I mean *everywhere*: his shirt, pants, arms, legs, his face of course, sometimes his hair, definitely all around his plate and on the chair, on the floor… and then he sprinkles it through the house after dinner, no matter how carefully I try to pick every grain off his outfit before he leaves the table. Then we step in it and track it through the house. Now I know what to call this behavior: he’s “going Cookie Monster” on the rice. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • amber says:

      Rice is the worst. Especially since it is sticky and unsweepable.

      • Chris says:

        It’s only sticky and unsweepable for the first day, after that it’s crunchy and easy to sweep up, assuming you have wood floors like we do ๐Ÿ™‚

        • Rolien says:

          Yes! Just leave it till next morning and it will be much easier to sweep away! Too bad for people who want a clean floor right after dinner…

    • neal says:

      Totally agree with you and Amber. Rice IS the worst. If I had a frenemy with a toddler, I’d bring over Chinese food and sticky rice and eat the Chinese food and give the rice to the kid, and then be like, “hey, nice seeing you, gotta run!”

      • Sarah F says:

        We have a dog. We call him our wet-vac; he eats everything the kids drop ๐Ÿ™‚

      • S says:

        Cleaning Hint: Let the rice dry, and then it will crumble and be sweepable and vacuumable.

        Mostly, serve only the rice by itself and not mixed with other non-drying unsweepable ingredients.

        • HM says:

          I was gonna say the same thing… the silver lining was not having to clean it up right away – just do the dishes and vacuum the rice later!

  27. Corie says:

    Quite possibly my favorite post by you ever! I always think- don’t fix what’s not broken when my 2 year old watches sesame street. Bring back the old habits and episodes!

  28. Sonia K says:

    Totally agree!! And show anything before Baby Bear was born. He annoys the piss outta me!!!

    • Mary says:

      Me too! He bore the heck out of me and I hate the episodes when they focus on him. Argh!

    • Angela Porter says:

      Oh, he really bugs me! That beaw should dwop off the face of the eawth, as well.

    • amber says:

      Dat beaw bugs the cwap outta me.

      • Miranda Hubbard says:

        So the commentor from before with the whole… it prob helps kids with speech delays and all thing is prob right so I feel like a bit of a B for saying it but God halp me please kill baby beaw! Although I have to say before we started watching sesame street on amazon prime (seasons are free but seems to be just newer ones avail darn) I told her the story of goldilocks often at night.. which of course always begins “One day Golidilocks left the house all by herself, without an adult and got lost” and ends with, “And here parents were so happy to see her and she said Mommy and Daddy I will never leave the house without an adult again I promise it was SO scary and she never did and they all lived happily ever after.” But I digress I have to admit that when telling that story Baby beaw did talk like a baby (tho perhaps not THAT bad). Interesting tho…

  29. Dawn says:

    Ughhh…I KNOW! Abby’s Fairy School is so boring! And they hardly ever show the Count, Snuffy, REGULAR Grover, Zoe or Bert & Ernie (unless you count crappy claymation). It’s all about Abby, Rosita & Elmo now. *snore*

    • amber says:

      The Count was my favorite. I wanted to marry him when I grew up.

      • Kim says:

        Ooooh, no – the count really scared me. I’m kinda glad I don’t see him often now (poor guy – I’m sure he’s really nice under that scary laugh) :>

      • Gabrielle says:

        I once saw a spanish version of ss and the count is the one who taught me how to count to eleven in spanish

      • Jess says:

        My older brother went to kindergarten saying his numbers like the Count. (One, ah-ah-ah, Two, ah-ah-ah, Three, ah-ah-ah) It freaked his teacher out and she sent a note home.

    • annie says:

      And how about Oscar and Slimey?!

  30. Sam says:

    Dear Amber,
    I love old school Sesame Street too! Recently my hubby surprised me by buying dvd Vol 1 & 2 of Sesame Street old school. I swear tears rolled down my cheeks when I watched these episodes with my 3 year old son…and I’m proud to say I remembered all the songs. Perhaps this is why my brain is full?
    PS Can’t get enough of your posts (rants or not)…and I pass them on to all my mommy friends.
    PPS You rock

    • amber says:

      I will have to look for that DVD set!

      • Jennifer Goold says:

        The old school DVDs are unbelievable. You will weep. I swear I moved to Baltimore because of the nitty gritty aesthetic of ss from those years got under my skin in the formative years.

  31. Anna says:

    It always kind of annoyed me that there was so much wasted cookie…but now that I have a 2-year-old, I am pissed off at Cookie Monster too. One day my son announced, “I bein’ a Cookie Monster!” and before I knew it he had pulverized an entire plate of cookies EVERYWHERE. That blasted blue beast.

    • neal says:

      It’s kind of an upper-crust, douche-y thing to do, taking a cookie and then just making a mess with it, like it’s nothing, like you have all the cookies in the world, why worry about wasting one (or 50). It’s like the villains in movies who offer water to someone and then pour it out in the sand. It’s like those rap artists pouring champaigne all over people and then hot-tubbing in the stuff. It’s like people who don’t lick the inside of the Cinnabon box before throwing it out. Damn you cookie monster, you 1%er!

      The first thing I’m going to teach my daughter about Cinnabons is that you ALWAYS lick up EVERYTHING. Because of starving people in other countries, you know?

      • Chrystal says:

        Yes!!

      • Ceri says:

        “Itโ€™s like people who donโ€™t lick the inside of the Cinnabon box before throwing it out. Damn you cookie monster, you 1%er!

        The first thing Iโ€™m going to teach my daughter about Cinnabons is that you ALWAYS lick up EVERYTHING. Because of starving people in other countries, you know?” OMG I am dieing! I will never be able to eat a cinnabon the same way again!!

      • Miranda Hubbard says:

        O Neal I think I <3 you!!! Damn you 1% ers….

  32. caitlin says:

    So funny!! You always make me laugh ’til I cry. But don’t despair! I have good news for you! We are very serious Sesame Street watchers in this home, and I can assure you that the only food I’ve seen cookie monster eat this season are cookies. He may have gone through a vegetarian phase, but he’s back in the cookie habit, as evidenced here:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEq_sSohZts

    • amber says:

      So there is hope!!! We don’t watch current episodes, I’ll admit. Just clips usually.

  33. Francine says:

    BRILLIANT! “It isn’t Cookie Monster’s responsibility to teach kids that you can’t eat cookies all day long. He is a monster. Monsters can eat whatever the fuck they want. We’re just lucky he isn’t eating our children.” Posted / shared / tweeted / emailed. Best one yet! (Aside from Mother’s Day.) Thank you!!!

  34. Meg says:

    Wasn’t there an episode where Cookie Monster ate some bricks because he was so hungry and his cookies were still baking in the oven? I remember thinking that was bizarre. This episode was within the past 5 years.

  35. Mel says:

    I will no longer follow your blog.. can’t believe the language coming out of an parent.

    • Kathy V. says:

      Is this comment serious? If not, LOL, you be funny! If so … you included one too many periods after the word ‘blog’, you left out the ‘I’, and the article before the word ‘parent’ should be ‘a’, not ‘an’. I can’t believe the language coming out of a parent, either.

    • Noey says:

      I really hope you’re being sarcastic. If not, well, I pity someone who’s so uptight they can’t bear a bit of swearing.

      Though not as much as I pity someone who can’t properly write a sentence.

    • amber says:

      Sorry. Please see my FAQs for information about swearing: http://crappypictures.com/faqs

      (Hmmm, there are always a few comments like this when I swear. I guess it is because I swear so rarely that when I do new readers are surprised? Interesting.)

      • Lisa Y says:

        When I first started reading your blog, I was surprised/caught off guard when I read something along the line of you calling your lil boy a shithead or dick or some such thing. I was shocked that you said that… but not because I was offended but rather suprised you said it about your own child outloud… because all these judgemental ppl, I bet they do it too but secretly.

        Um, not sure how that relates to the cursing. lol. Oh! The being suprised part. It doesn’t take a genius to realize your blog is meant for parents of children. But I guess some people need to be told, that’s why you needed to create a FAQ which btw I found funny too.

        I did it again… my point really REALLY is that readers like Mel need to realize that this is a blog (gasp)…, not some sort of news editorial where it would be unprofessional to swear.

        And another thing! If you don’t like Amber’s blog anymore for whatever reason, no need to be bitchy and declare that you are no longer going to follow her blog in the comments, just stop following it and quietly disappear! Sheesh.

        Lastly, I do love your blog! First time mommy here with a lil one. =) Reading your blog helps me to know what’s in store for my future. LOL

      • Heather says:

        In other words, you should swear in every post so nobody is surprised!

        Actually, don’t because the way you use it infrequently gives punch and humor. It makes sense in a rant to swear! People just need to get some big girl pants.

    • shelli says:

      Her kids aren’t reading this…

      Many of us curtail our “truck-driver-potty-mouths” in front of our kids, and save the good, juicy, fucking fantabulous words for fellow adults.

      Oooooo! I think I sense the next blog post – How we all kind of tried to stop cursing so much after hearing our wee ones squeak out: “Shit!” ๐Ÿ˜‰

  36. Kathy V. says:

    It’s true. There are too many rude f***ers out there inspiring our children to ignore proper table etiquette, and Cookie Monster has to contribute? I watched a cartoon today in which the characters were constantly eating, and they were smacking their lips ALL. THE. TIME. It was making me crazy. CHEW WITH YOUR DAMN MOUTH CLOSED, KIPPER THE DOG! I HATE YOU! Dammit, you inspired me to rant. I’m going to go have a glass of wine, now. Quietly.

  37. mama nalyn says:

    there is not a single blog entry that you wrote that isn’t funny at all!! i can’t wait for your book!!!!!

  38. Stephanie says:

    Awesome! And I love the idea for the vintage Sesame Street coming back on the air, I love those episodes!

  39. Melissa says:

    ” . . . can you please just stop making new shows and just run all the ones from 1969-1986?”

    This needs to be a petition we can pass around the internet and send to PBS when it reaches 5 million signatures, which should take about 3 hours once it hits Facebook.

    • amber says:

      Three hours tops.

    • HM says:

      I was thinking sort of along these lines… “If people who are in publishing were interested in Amber writing a book because of comments here, maybe people working on/with Sesame Street will read these comments and realize how much we hate the new episodes and change it back!!”

  40. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! I bought “40 Years of Sunny Days” so I could play 1969-1985 exclusively. The newer ones do suck!

  41. Theresa says:

    YES! I was soooo mad when they made Cookie Monster say cookies were “sometimes food!” That should be a parent’s job and if you blame Cookie Monster for your kid being obese then you’re just an idiot! I was just thinking the other day that the older Sesame Street episodes were better. My 5 1/2 month old son doesn’t sit very long watching it, but I’m currently sitting on the floor with him, laptop next to us, and he watched every video link without even squirming.

  42. Theresa says:

    Have you seen the “You have cookie, Share it Maybe?” video? I can’t listen to the actual song now without hearing cookie monster in my head! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qTIGg3I5y8

    • Lindsay says:

      No! Don’t share the link! That song is a viral worm and Cookie Monster rarely leaves my brain since I saw it once, over a week ago!

  43. Katherine says:

    hahahahahha

  44. Paula says:

    This is why we watch Sesame Street on Sprout. Their new slogan should be “Sprout, where our monsters can eat whatever the fuck they want.”.

  45. Mollie says:

    I love those old clips from Sesame Street! This has always been my favorite:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgkYHhG18uc&feature=youtube_gdata_player

  46. Jenni says:

    My Sister-in-Law is scared of the Cookie Monster because she believes he is a tortured soul, forced to eat cookies for all eternity but unable to actually swallow them!

  47. Brook says:

    I agree with nearly everything you ever say!
    and for those of us who appreciate the darker side of muppet humor, Google ‘Grover is bitter’ ๐Ÿ™‚

  48. Brooke says:

    The best Sesame Street years were 1985-1990 because that is when I watched them. I loved the dogs in costumes.

  49. Theresa says:

    So I’m not the only one with a cookie monster pet peeve. Mine? His grammer and I’m so NOT the grammer police. But a recent book we were given with Cookie Monster says “Me like all kinds of food, not just cookies. Monster cannot live on cookies alone. Me thinking about food right now. Etc”. WTF. I’m not reading that to my kid!

  50. Liz says:

    I love this. I totally agree, especially about the old episodes. My mom and sister and I used to sing Ladybug Picnic all the time. It was our favorite!

  51. Noey says:

    I grew up watching SS from 1978 till about 1983 or 1984. I had my daughter in 1999. And was excited to introduce her to SS. Till I watched it with her a few times. So much suckitude packed into it! I agree – replay the ones from 1969-1986. At least they had Snuffy!

  52. Debbie says:

    Seriously!!! And it was incredibly lame when they decided to make cookie monster eat healthy.

  53. Dona Mayes says:

    OMG, LMAO! I raised three and now I nanny part-time. Hadn’t seen SS in years, so we watched 1, I repeat, ONE episode. Never again. Classics all the way!
    On the other hand, I found Oscar’s Oasis and we both laughed until we cried. It was like finding the Classic (yeah for classics) Road Runner.

  54. Jody says:

    Someone already sent the new “Share It Maybe” from Cookie Monster.

    Here’s Cookie Monster being snarky to Martha Stewart…also worth a watch!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YaZeTaVH6Ow

  55. Sarah says:

    I just love you so much. Your sense of humor is the best… probably because its just like mine.

  56. Erin OK says:

    I always felt so sorry for cookie monster, because all the cookie obviously fell right out of his mouth. Poor guy must be perpetually unsatisfied.

  57. Emily M says:

    As usual, I love it. You’re the best.

  58. Ande says:

    Yes, I wish they would just show reruns! The new episodes are too PC. ๐Ÿ™‚

  59. Janelle says:

    How about this classic? I pee my pants everytime I watch it, and my kids love it just as much. They totally need to bring the Martians back.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TStPNqex3uA

    • Jamey says:

      I LOVED the martians! Thanks for the flash back. Cracked me up and had to share on FB. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • amber says:

      I loved those guys!

    • Tara says:

      OMGosh, I love those guys. I used to tell my mom i wanted to watch the “yip-yips” and that is one of my favorite yip-yip scenes. =D I drive my fiance crazy doing the yip-yip voices some days. hehe

  60. Jamey says:

    Thank you for the memories! I liked this rant. ๐Ÿ™‚

  61. April says:

    Excellent post! And the Warning was perfect: save money by playing the old stuff! What kid DIDN’T learn to count to twelve through Sesame Street?!??? ๐Ÿ™‚

  62. Chris says:

    My favourite Cookie Monster clip is actually a modern one. It kills me every time…
    http://www.sesamestreet.org/videos#media/video_ad67a55c-1648-11dd-995c-3d52ab3e4656
    I’ll not tell you the best bit, you have to just watch it.

  63. Katie says:

    Amber you missed this one important Sesame Street clip… It’s my fave!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Wd-Q3F8KM

  64. Megan says:

    I think Sesame Street jumped the shark when all the grown-ups started being able to see Snuffy. That’s just not right.

    • shelli says:

      From Wikipedia:
      In an interview on a Canadian telethon that was hosted by Bob McGrath, Snuffy’s performer, Martin P. Robinson, revealed that Snuffy was finally introduced to the main human cast mainly due to a string of high profile and sometimes graphic stories of pedophilia[citation needed] and sexual abuse of children that had been aired on shows such as 60 Minutes and 20/20. The writers felt that by having the adults refuse to believe Big Bird despite the fact that he was telling the truth, they were scaring children into thinking that their parents would not believe them if they had been sexually abused and that they would just be better off remaining silent. On the same telethon, during Robinson’s explanation, Loretta Long uttered the words “Bronx daycare,” a reference to a news event on New York TV station WNBC-TV in which there were reports of alleged sexual abuse at a Bronx daycare center[citation needed]. This was seen in the documentary Sesame Street Unpaved.

  65. Jake says:

    I agree with rerunning the old shows… we found Sesame Street on Netflix, and my reaction was “WOOHOO”… until I realized that they only have them for the last 3-4 years… now I’m bummed… I want to watch Sesame Street from 1982 while eating Lucky Charms with only 5 shapes!

  66. LeeAnn says:

    Love it! Completely agree, Sesame Street is just not the same. We look up old clips for our son to watch on YouTube. The new ones are annoying. Love your blog – it’s always a great read.

  67. Alice Rudin says:

    Once again, it’s like you’re inside my head. Could we be separated from birth? those are my favorite clips too, esp the pinball animation and the red ball…. Thanks.

  68. Kim says:

    LOL we seem to have crashed YouTube – the sesame street clips I just tried to watch all error ๐Ÿ™‚

  69. Rebecca says:

    OMG I’ve been singing that 12 song to my 3 yr old and couldn’t remember where it was from! Thanks for the link!

  70. Yes, go back to the old Cookie Monster who never would have been caught dead with anything green and healthy in his hands. And come to think of it, Oscar the Grouch seems a little more congenial too compared to when I was a kid and he seemed like he would knock the crap out of you for looking at him crooked.

  71. Rebecca says:

    Sesame Street these days is terrible and so boring. I am always trying to find vintage episodes on Netflix and the ones I’ve found have come with disclaimers stating they are not suitable for today’s children….what, because they are playing in a ditch by the side of a road and crawling through a culvert to demonstrate the word “under”?

  72. lsg1378 says:

    Remember the Typewriter????? He would come in going noony noony noony!!! I still say that – so thank you for posting these links, it reminded me where I’d originally sourced it from! We have a pirate game, and the pirate has to move Islands each ‘turn’ and we ask if they pirate has been noonied cause that’s the sound affect I added! LOL!!! Big {old school} Seseme Street fan here!!! ;D

  73. joy smith says:

    I love your swearing!!! No, really, I’m not being sarcastic!

  74. Melinda says:

    I remember this clip. It just seems ridiculous now!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3yOnr2cl3c

  75. shelli says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEU8CjPIrpw

    Two little dolls in a little doll house. Best one EVAR!

  76. C Smith says:

    Wouldn’t it be great if they just ran all the shows from, say 1975-1995. The kids wouldn’t know the difference, it would be all new to them. Parents wouldn’t complain, because we all love nostalgia and because finally, we would know what the hell our kids were talking about. It would promote family unity and happiness and togetherness and world peace and I would get to watch She-Ra and Rainbow Bright everyday and maybe even the real Looney Tunes.

  77. Peach says:

    TOTALLY. And, I hate that the last part of Sesame is “elmo’s world”… gag me with bricks!
    Bring back the old Sesame Street episodes!! Where Barkley is playing with the kids in the park/field/etc.

  78. I agree 100% that they should just rerun the old Sesame Street episodes and forget all of this new stuff. Elmo doesn’t hold a candle to the old characters.

  79. Oh, we have exactly the same taste in vintage Sesame Street clips. I love the red ball, and the Ladybug Picnic, and the pinball thing, and the Fairy Alphabet…. Remember the cute little boy counting with Grover? Now I miss Mr Hooper.

  80. Celeste says:

    Yes. And those are four of my favorite Sesame Street clips! I sing the Ladybugs’ Picnic to my kid when I change his diaper! Right on!

  81. Sara Munoz says:

    I never saw Cookie Monster as a cookie enabler. I saw him as a compulsive binge eater and everyone ELSE (I’m looking at YOU, Gordon!) enabled poor Cookie.
    Has anyone ever seen the classic late-70’s Christmas special where Cookie Monster eats his telephone, his typewriter, even the damn Christmas tree, and everyone gets this “well, what are ya gonna do” look on their faces and just shake their heads. And the worse part, is that Cookie Monster always felt HORRIBLE (physically ill as well as guilty) afterwards.

    Cookie Monster needs a 12-step program. And true friends.

  82. sarah says:

    You have got to be kidding me! Broccoli??! That’s insane. But what am I saying? This is about a programme which invented Elmo. Sesame Street was ruined forever for me when he came along.

  83. WyoMama says:

    Ha! My son eats seaweed cookie monster style. Love that he eats seaweed, hate the cookie monster mess. I find flakes of it everywhere, and I just pray I’ll pick it up before it gets wet, because then it’s hopeless…

  84. kristen says:

    Amen! Let him eat cookies. I am kind of sad my kids don’t know the c is for cookie song.

  85. Larissa says:

    Adding vintage Sesame Street to my wishlist! Yay for DVD!!

  86. Gina says:

    Thank you SO much I burst out laughing and woke up my husband!!! I had to share this with him,seeing as how he was up now anyways, he cracked up!! I agree with you on cookie monster should stick to his role of cookie beast. Leave the veggies to Capt. Vegetable (John Leguizamo)!!!

  87. I agree. It’s totally depressing that Sesame Street is all PC now. Not remotely the show I watched and loved.

  88. Sarah Ross says:

    Brilliant rant. You forgot another martian beauty http://youtu.be/rOAthOufeIU.

  89. Jay says:

    No joke: my 2-year-old saw only the illustration of the kids eating messily and said, “Cookie Monster!!”

    You can get episodes from 1969 until about 1978(??) so far on DVD, but they actually come with a warning about how they are not for modern kids… that being said, it does make me nervous to see kids playing with old, uncovered matress springs on tv

  90. Addie says:

    I live in Germany – on German Sesame Street his name is “Crumb Monster” … which he does live up to!

  91. mappermom says:

    This may have already been posted by someone else, but here is Allie Brosch’s classic rant on the updated Cookie Monster http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/01/m-is-for-moderation-and-s-is-for-stop.html

    • amber says:

      I’ve never seen that one! It is awesome! I really have to read her archives, I still haven’t. I sure hope she starts posting again soon. ๐Ÿ™

  92. Keri says:

    Thank you for this post. I laughed so hard it made my day. Also- thanks for the youtube clips, totally brought back memories. I loved that fairy alphabet. Thanks for the trip down memory lane…

  93. Lisa says:

    While we’re at it, can we go back to the original Sesame Street Christmas too?

  94. Kate says:

    I mean, his NAME is COOKIE monster. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Kate
    http://www.justdelivered.net

  95. Toni Olson says:

    Oh my. I never put it together. My 2 year old son has told me he was eating like Cookie Monster–he likes to do it with crumbly, expensive gluten free crackers.
    I hate Cookie Monster now, too.

  96. Stephanie says:

    When we were kids I apparently convinced my sister that we should eat like Cookie Monster. It must have been epic because my mom said she banned Sesame Street for a week! I have no memory of this, but I bet it was worth it.

  97. Another Laura says:

    BAHAHA, that made me think of this gem: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/01/m-is-for-moderation-and-s-is-for-stop.html.

    “F is for fuck moderation!” Best cartoon of Cookie Monster, EVER!

    BTW, I think you should swear in every single post from now on.

  98. Jodi says:

    Those vintage Sesame Street videos you posted seriously just made my day. Maybe even week. Now if you had included the one where they watched crayons being made, it would have made my month too!

  99. Jenny says:

    Oh my gosh! I totally remember every one of those clips from the show as a kid! Completely takes me back to childhood!

  100. Amber says:

    I agree! I hate the mess he makes. Such a disgusting eater.

  101. Salt says:

    I think this is my favorite post ever. I recently had a conversation with some friends about how angry it makes us that cookies are now only a sometimes food. I’m so glad to see that we aren’t the only ones!

  102. Oh God! This never occurred to me. Noah has only recently started watching Sesame Street, he better not start this up!

  103. Love the debris art haha

  104. Stephanie says:

    AMEN!

  105. Lori Langone says:

    Am I the only person who never really liked Sesame Street very much? I grew up in the 70s, when we watched a small black and white TV with three stations, so there weren’t a lot of programming choices.

  106. Cathy S. says:

    Hahaha love it, so true

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  107. Bobbie says:

    Fortunately for me my son does this VERY infrequently. Unfortunately for me it seems to occur with the same frequency as our visits to restaurants…at least I dont have to clean up after “cookie monster”??

  108. Sherri C says:

    I just thought this very same thing the other day while my daughter was shoving Cheerios in her mouth and saying “monster grrrrrr”. The dog was more than happy to clean the floor, I on the other hand tempoarily banded sesame street (at least for the day).

  109. Leanna Thompson says:

    This is my favorite:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0lQ0bdcjfY&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PLD3E9AD8B6A17831A
    but I remember the girl puppet with yellow pigtails singing it.
    Yes, I count this way. ๐Ÿ™‚

  110. I love your cookie monster pix. So glad you didn’t draw him as a stick. Yes, bring back the cookies.

  111. Kris says:

    “We’re just lucky he isn’t eating our children.”

    I had a Cookie Monster puppet when I was a kid. There was a hole at the back of his mouth so that if you worked your hand just right, stuff would actually disappear down his throat. I used to make him eat my Fischer Price people. So….close.

  112. Betty says:

    I think monsters should be able to speak however the fuck they want, too! I watched Sesame Street relentlessly as a kid (nothing else on) and grew up to be an English teacher. And me have impeccable grammar!!

    Loved Sesame Street News Flash with Kermit the Frog reporting. Rapunzel was my favorite: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-fK8rYa45Q&feature=youtube_gdata_player.
    I watched in the early 70’s and miss the semi-psychedelic aesthetic. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOkbuwRUTZo&feature=youtube_gdata_player

  113. Carrie says:

    OMG, I’m so relieved that this is such a pervasive issue. My two year old began eating every meal “just like cookie monster” and there was food everywhere! It makes me so mad, especially because it happens so quickly. I can’t tell you how many times we have to say “nooo, you’re not cookie monster, you’re Noah; eat like Noah”. Oy! [head slap]

  114. Laura says:

    I’m totally gonna go cookie monster on something tomorrow. Awesome.

  115. Eve says:

    Bua ha ha ha!

    Omg, lady bug picnic and
    WuntootheePHOfavsissevinateNINEtenelevenTWELVE…..

    LOVITY LOVE LOVE

    You are hilarious.

  116. Chris says:

    My favourite Sesame Street clip of all time. Be warned, the cuteness at the end may well kill you.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYIRO97dhII&list=FLdf90CePCtNTRqWZX00dHwg&index=5&feature=plpp_video

    Seems she’s a fan of Cookie Monster too.

  117. Katie says:

    Sounds like a lot of people need to remember not to drink when they read your blog. Lol! My kids won’t watch sesame street. Theyy are disturbed by it, I think.

  118. SD Murray says:

    my favorite Sesame Street quote: Suzi Kabloozie on Sesame Street “A world without F words is too much to take!”

  119. Mary-Michael says:

    SO agree. And, thank you for posting the links to those old clips! I loved all of those when I was a kid!

  120. Elizabeth says:

    EXACTLY!!! Do you know how long I’ve thought that COOKIE monster eating vegetables was the stupidest thing I ever saw??? Seriously, just weird. – And I would love to watch all the old episodes. That’s a great idea! – As for the mess… I think we all feel your pain. My daugther is 7 now and although she doesn’t intentionally eat like Cookie monster, every time she gets up from the table it looks like he’s been there. Ugh.

  121. Jocelyn Stover says:

    lol, i know what u mean, i too always had an issue with how Cookie Monster wasted his precious cookies with his particular eating style—on a funnier note–my husband (who was born in ’77) must have watched WAY too damn much Sesame Street because he still insists on yelling “Cookie Cookie Cookie!!” and running thru the house cramming them in his mouth with crumbs and pieces just a flying whenever i bake….much to my chagrin and our 3 teenagers’ horror. He seriously will take the whole tin and sit in the floor in front of the TV yelling “MINE!” if anyone tries to get him to share….SMH, I have to bake a separate dozen cookies just for him or we have serious problems! it was probably really funny when the stepkids were little, but now they just think hes annoying…..

  122. mary says:

    yes, I so agree with you about the old sesame street episodes – and I think little kids would like them as much as we did

  123. Jennifer Scogin says:

    I am glad my son has gone to Montessori school since he was 8 weeks old (2.5 now) They don’t watch TV (except on Fridays they will watch a movie). There was a few months that we had a nanny when we moved and were on the waiting list for his new school and during that time he got hooked on Dinosaur Train and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (at least those are a bit more educational) – lol. However, the few times we have been home with him sick or schools closed we have had to endure the new Sesame Street (I was very disappointed the first time I saw it – I thought “that is not the theme song – what the heck are they teaching these kids!”). I have all my books from when I was little and I have a whole bunch of old school Sesame Street books – we try to stick with those instead of the show. Bring back the old day SS!!!!

  124. Ivy says:

    I couldn’t agree more with your disclaimer. I want all the vintage episodes back!!!

  125. craftyashley says:

    “Monsters can eat whatever the fuck they want. We’re just lucky he isn’t eating our children.” – BEST LINE EVER WRITTEN. Thank you.

  126. craftyashley says:

    And yes, Sesame Street. Please get rid of Abby’s Flying Fairy School- nobody likes that. And that Murray segment with the lamb- estupido!

  127. Bethany says:

    My kids say “let’s eat like cookie monster” all the time and make a big freaking mess all over the kitchen and it drives me crazy!! Never shoulda showed them that one…

  128. sandy says:

    It isn’t Cookie Monster’s responsibility to teach kids that you can’t eat cookies all day long. He is a monster. Monsters can eat whatever the fuck they want. We’re just lucky he isn’t eating our children. ย 

    probably the best paragraph ever written!

  129. Kitty says:

    I loathe Elmo’s World. It is my least favorite part of the modern Sesame Street. However, I will cut the voice/muppeteer of Elmo a break after having watched Being Elmo (available on Netflix instant watch). I don’t mind Elmo, per se, but I can’t stand how he’s taken over the street.

    I love all the videos you posted of older Sesame Street. Of course, my favorite always has been and always will be Grover. He can be such a sarcastic ass. Case in point: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5xHXevVbhg
    He’s only better as Super Grover. I love that guy.

    • Kitty says:

      Oh, and I forgot to mention The Monster At The End Of This Book. Does anyone else remember that one? My childhood copy is a favorite of both my children. ๐Ÿ™‚

  130. Urban Mommys says:

    Just the kind of rant Urban Mommys loves! Retweeted to my followers and laughed my ass off!! Thanks Crappy mom!

  131. DrL says:

    So true. My husband and I were just talking about the fact that CM never actually eats the damn cookies, he just makes a giant mess. I’m still waiting for my daughter (2yo) to pick up on it.

  132. Holyn says:

    Amazing, so true, and yes, please bring back ‘old school’ Sesame Street! The new episodes are awful….

  133. Mariah says:

    Ladybugs Picnic is one of my favorites ๐Ÿ™‚ My husband and I sometimes sing Sesame Street songs at events.

  134. Beth says:

    Thank you for the rant!
    But an even bigger thank you for the clips down memory lane! The number 12 is still a favorite around our house. It’s how we taught our kids to count early on!

    You know what else I want them to bring back?
    SCHOOL HOUSE ROCKS!!!

    Conjunction Junction, A Noun, I’m Just A Bill, Mother Necessity, Three Is The Magic Number, Electricity, Lolly Lolly Lolly…the hits just keep on coming!

  135. april says:

    I love this post! It makes me want to rant about the STUPID Abby’s Preschool crappy cartoon that they now have instead of the GREAT skits with PUPPETS and PEOPLE!! Stupid, waste-of-time cartoon! That’s it for me today. ๐Ÿ™‚

  136. heidi says:

    HA HA HA!!! Oh this is beyond true…lol

  137. I could not have said it better myself!!!! Great!

  138. Emily says:

    Sesame street workshop apparently posted this “preview” yesterday:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDDSWAATle0 called “Get Lost Mr. Chips” where David Hyde Pierce tries to teach cookie monster to eat properly.

    All I could think at first was “oh! Maybe they read Amber’s blog!” but by the end, I was certain they were mocking our frustration with the kids and their cookie monster style eating. Thanks a lot, Sesame Street for paying attention to the frustrations caused by your little furry monster–and then rubbing it in our faces!

  139. jackie perez says:

    nice pics and cookie monster fucken rules bitches