Why Crappy Papa Had Kids

Do you ever think about your answer to the question, “Why did you have kids?”

I don’t.

At least not anymore. But back before I had kids, I thought about it a bit. My answer was always pretty vague. Something like, “I just want to.” I didn’t have a list of reasons. There was nothing logical about it. I just wanted to.

Crappy Papa and I discussed it sometimes. His reasons were also unexplainable. Just a desire to do so. So we did.

Of course the moment I held Crappy Boy in my arms for the first time I thought, “Yep. This is why I did this. Totally worth it.” I always assumed Crappy Papa felt the same.

Now skip to the present…


One day, a LEGO® set arrives in the mail for Crappy Boy. A belated birthday present. He shows it to us.

Pretty neat. It is a “big boy” LEGO® set.

Star Wars something or other.

Crappy Papa seems excited.

Overly excited. He drops what he was doing and says he’ll build it with him immediately.

But before he goes off to play, he turns to me and says:

Crappy Papa is giddy.

He adds:

So that explains it.

He was kidding. At least I think.



Happy Thanksgiving to all those who celebrate. If you were expecting a Thanksgiving themed post I think you should lower your expectations. I’m rarely timely.

Although I did write one last year called Thanksgiving Turkey. So you can read that one and not be sad. 

Also, I’ve been posting less frequently because of technical difficulties. Both with the site and also my time machine is acting up again. I think everything is working now. At least until I post this and then surely it will break. (But it will all be okay. I have a web ninja on my side. Huge thanks to Sarah the ninja for dealing with my crazy.)  


This entry was posted in birthdays, crappy papa, crappy pictures, parenting, toys. Bookmark the permalink.

175 Responses to Why Crappy Papa Had Kids

  1. tara says:

    Ha! Legos are the best!

  2. jmsiowa says:

    Exactly, I get the toys I never had as a kid.

    • Kimberly says:

      Me too! Me too! All the toys I WANTED but my parents could never afford! Well, hahaha, I can afford them now! For my kids. I buy toys for THE KIDS. 😉

  3. julie says:

    LOL!! i’m pretty sure my husband is super excited about playing legos again too. however, he hasn’t yet volunteered to pull out the lego buildings that HE built as a kid (yes. he still has them.). i think he might cry if our three old takes them apart. seriously.

    • Athena says:

      My Husband also has three huge tubs of legos in the attic. I think his mom dismantled all the structures when they got packed up. So, he need not worry when our daughter gets her turn with the legos.

    • Jess McGregor says:

      My husband DID cry when his mom let the kids take apart his Lego things. But he still has a Constructs (I think) roller coaster set hidden in a storage closet – that he MIGHT let them play with when they are older. Ummmm, Our oldest is 14, hehe

    • Jessica says:

      Hahaha! My husband just took out his toys and legos he had when he was… Younger.. He doesn’t have his childhood legos, but his teenage legos yes. My son is 5 and is only allowed to play with the Star Wars Walker and other stuff under direct supervision of Daddy. He is also quite protective LOL!

  4. BJ says:

    I hope Crappy Papa remembered to share?? My DH got so carried away with a new Legos my darling son ended up in tears saying ‘daddy won’t share!’. Oh dear…

  5. Alicia H says:

    Isn’t that exactly why dads have boys so they can play with all the awesome toys again??? 🙂

  6. Emily says:

    Yup. That’s why I had them too. I LOVE Playmobil stuff and cars, but no one understands an adult buying those things for themselves. So… get kids, means you can put these things together. My husband is eagerly waiting for when they’re old enough to do model rockets and such with him, since he feels odd doing those as an adult but still wants to do them. 🙂

  7. Sylvia says:

    My boys are getting a big-boy lego set for Christmas this year, and my husband is more excited than he should be too.

  8. Christopher says:

    Our oldest little boy just turned 3. Needless to say, I’m excitedly looking forward to these Lego moments.

    Once you start down the dark path…

  9. Ginger says:

    My husband always buys trucks, tractors, basically anything with wheels, and he really gets into it with our 16 month old son lol. Oh daddy’s…

  10. Becs says:

    Haha- brilliant- my partner does the same thing!!

  11. Lisa says:

    Im pretty sure this is why my hubby wanted kids. Boy kids to be specific. He bought the massive Lego police station and put it together when our firstborn was three months old. So sad 🙂

  12. It’s like this at our house, too! Except Miles is always having to remind Papa to share.

  13. Woolies says:

    Yes, exactly. I think I might have written this post. Well, a few years ago. 🙂

  14. Emily says:

    Hehe! Time machine! Funny, mine’s acting up, too. What’s up with that?

    You’re hilarious, as always. Love this blog. It’s perfect for this ADD mom. 😉

  15. Sarah says:

    This is why my husband had kids, as well…. it’s all about the toys. This year? Legos and http://littlebits.cc/ little bits. I’m pretty sure that 5 is a bit too young for this toy, to which MY crappy papa says the famous, “It’s fiiiiiiine.” (rolling my eyes) we BOTH know they are really for him…. lol

  16. Jennie says:

    I stole the neighbor kid since mine is not quite old enough for dioramas and such. She had a wetland ecosystem to build. I really did try to let her do some of it. After I finished with most of it (with her help) I let her put the finishing touches on it. It looks amazing! My 7 year old decided to make one too. I think she was feeling a bit left out.

  17. Rachel Blackett says:

    Pretty sure this is the reason my hubby was excited when we had a boy… He’s only 4 months right now but the time will come 🙂

  18. Karli says:

    My little guy is only 14 months, but my husband says this all the time. Legos. Legos are the only reason he had kids. “Second childhood, babe!”

  19. Julia says:

    So so so true! When my brother and his wife had their son my brother immediately went out and bought the Millenium Falcon Lego set. He put my 3 week old nephew in the bouncy chair and “together” they built this ginormous space ship! I can only imagine what it’s going to be like when my nephew is 5 😉

  20. Sue says:

    He is not kidding. 🙂

  21. Beth says:

    LOL!!!! So funny! I was talking with my husband about how our boys want Ninja Turtles for Christmas. I said that even though the weapons were too small on two of turtles, we could just take them away and the kids would never know. My husband looks at me and says ‘if the Ninja Turtle doesn’t have any weapons, then what is the point of even buying them’. LMAO!!! Spoken like a kid at heart!

  22. KC says:

    There is no kidding about that . My hubby talks all time about the things he wants to play with that he never got to as a kid but he can now that we have kids even though we have two girls! 🙂

    PS. You should do a boot post!

  23. Patti says:

    As a Grandmother of 1 6.5 tr old boy &mother to his 36 yr old dad, I think the dad’s love them so much because they can assemble them much more easily & quickly than their son. It’s fun to have your child in awe of your expertise!! It’s also fun to be more proficient than you were when you were 6 or 7!!

  24. Melissa says:

    This is my husband!! I showed him this post and he informed me “we have that one”.

  25. Briony says:

    My dad’s a civil engineer and always wanted to make stuff out of mechano with us as it had been his childhood passion, but none of us were really that interested, I think he’d given up by the time my little sister came along but they did have awesome times making international monuments out of K-nex eg Eiffel tower…

    He’s been ill and is staying with my older sister since he got out of hospital and he was so excited yesterday telling me all about how he’d helped my nephew make a mechano something or other, including teaching his trick with a screwdriver and honey to get screws in awkward places. He sounded just like crappy papa looks with his arms in the air.

    Ah, that’s why I love families and people with passions

  26. Jen says:

    That is exactly what my husband would say. My son’s big Lego set just came last week to hide away for Christmas, and my husband was ecstatic when he saw it.

    He also saved his Transformers and Hot Wheels in the garage all this time to bring out for the kids.

    I think dads have kids so they have someone to play with!

  27. Ginger says:

    My crappy boy just turned 5 on Tuesday and one of his gifts was a lego monster truck set — his first in the big boy lego stuff. ZOMG!! SO much fun to help him put together. Daddio was annoyed that I pulled off this feat while he was at work, so he countered by picking up a few “bonus” gifts including another vehicle kit and a couple of little lego guys. The race is on to see which of us will get to help build those. 😉

  28. Emily says:

    this is why I had kids too…
    and I’m the mom 🙂

  29. Madeleine says:

    Ha – my husband also frequently comes home with construction toys for the children. Toys with age ranges of 8 and up, sometimes. The children are 2 and 4.
    I think I may have had children so I could do crafts and not worry too much about how they turn out (at least that’s what my blog seems to be teaching me)!

  30. Fenny says:

    It works with nieces, too. I git to buy them stuff so I could play with it. When Daddy let us near it!

    Now they are teenagers, I buy them DVDs of John Hughes films, so they know how to behave.

  31. Lila says:

    Both my girls love lego, they play with it every day. It’s awesome.

  32. Erin says:

    My 4 year old son is really into Lego Harry Potter. He’s getting the “flying” car with Hogwarts Express and the Hogwarts Castle for Christmas from my in-laws. I think I’m more excited about it than my husband is. We’re planning to super glue the train and castle together, though, since all the Lego sets end up in pieces after a while.

  33. Amanda says:

    My son is 20 months and my husband geeked out over mega blocks. “THEY ARE ALMOST LEGOS!” And then, with more emotion then he showed the first time our son walked “Our boy… almost big enough for legos.”

    Boys are weird.

  34. Would that we all had a personal web ninja! It took me a while, but I grew mine from scratch. Maybe that’s why I had kids?

  35. Nicole MacRae says:

    Amazing! also love the new site layout!

  36. Greta says:

    You always make me laugh! Happy Thanksgiving! =)

    • Greta says:

      PS: I REALLY thought this post would have a picture of crappy Papa stepping on one of those Legos with bare feet or momma digging them out of the cracks in the couch cushions. =)

  37. Laura says:

    I think my brother said the exact same thing, or at least that is what my SIL posted on facebook. 🙂

  38. Karen says:

    He wasn’t kidding. This might as well be my husband. I had to pry him away from the toy store last week.

  39. Jen says:

    I have 2 boys, a 2 year old and a 10 week old and my husband keeps buying Lego when it’s on special and putting it away until the boys are older. He can’t wait to play with it! I keep telling him it’ll be another 2-3 years!

  40. Kerry says:

    Ha! After my parents had been married several years, my mom started asking my dad when they would have kids. He told her she knew he never wanted any. She said she thought he’d just said that b/c he was young when they got married (21) and figured he’d change his mind. They made a list of pros and cons of having kids (allegedly), with a long list of cons and only 1 item on the pro list: Because my mom wanted them.

    My husband was positively drooling at the giant lego store in Mall of America during one of our pre-kid trips. I think he wanted to have kids not so much so that he could play legos with them, but so that he’d have an excuse to play legos. Period.

  41. Sara says:

    He wasn’t kidding. I feel exactly the same way.

  42. Belinda says:

    My dad bought my son a slot car track for his first Christmas. The age range was 8years and up. My son was 4 mths old!! Dad bought it so HE could play cars lol

  43. Jen says:

    Woot! I have a son, the time will come! I forsee me, all three of my siblings, plus my partner being reminded to ‘share!’

    There’s a mother version of this too. I still remember my mother joining I and my sister playing with Barbies. We were bored, we didn’t even like them that much, but somehow we had a crate of the dolls, and another crate of the clothes and accessories… looked at Mum to see the happy little smile on her face as she brushed a barbies hair… years later, we’d all left home, and I found the barbies all neatly laid in a basket, properly dressed and hair brushed and shiny. She had been ‘tidying’. lol

    • Leslie says:

      I had my daughter in January and she is the youngest as well as only girl (I have 2 boys.) I actually danced when I told my husband the scan showed a girl (The receptionist and the other expectant parents were laughing like mad) because I thought of all the Barbies and Sylvanian Families I get to, erm, buy for her. I’ve already bought her 3 of the same My Friend Dolls I had as a child. Don’t get me started on American Girls and Bitty Babies…

  44. Rachelle says:

    Yep! This is exactly why my husband had kids. In fact, he spends more time in the toy store looking at toys for himself then the kids.

  45. Hooray for web ninjas! I’ve been missing your posts!

    We had kids for entertainment. And because there was not quite enough aggravation in my life.

  46. janie says:

    When I buy a lego set for our kids, I have to buy one for the hubs too. We have an entire room devoted to legos. Crazy, I know!

  47. Katia says:

    Here are a couple of things I would need a next generation for: 1. someone to shop with. 2. someone to take good photos of me. So I went and had two. Now we wait.

  48. Andrea says:

    My husband is Danish. I don’t think I need to say more about his affection to LEGOs. Other than he bought a big boy set for our son when he was 6 weeks or so…

  49. Civik says:

    I have two girls… One of whom I built a Space Marine helmet for out of paper and who I regularly play cars with(seriously, I’ve been looking for a reason to buy Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars since I attained adulthood). Don’t worry, she still gets to be a princess.

    The other is still only 6 mo, but I’m sure she’ll join up as soon as she won’t shove the cars in her mouth.

  50. jen says:

    My boys….all of them…dad included love legos! Christmas Eve, my hubbys best friend, who happens to be single spends the evening with us and we open family presents…there has never been a Xmas eve where legos weren’t involved and I guarentee that the minute presents are done…ALL of them, dad, bff and boys are breaking open the legos.

    • Kimberly says:

      This sounds like such a sweet family tradition! And how awesome to include your husband’s friend! Too much fun!

  51. Daniel says:

    My wife tells me that your husband’s behavior resembles mine. I agree! We are just getting into Legos and I’m always happy to build with our 4 year old, or I read the directions and find the pieces. I even made sure we’d have more Star Wars Legos for Christmas. And I still build tall buildings with duplos. You would think that we grew out of this but you would be wrong.

  52. Daniel says:

    My wife tells me that your husband’s behavior resembles mine. I agree! We are just getting into Legos and I’m always happy to build with our 4 year old, or I read the directions and find the pieces and tell him where they go. I even made sure we’d have more Star Wars Legos for Christmas. And I still build tall buildings with duplos. You would think that we grew out of this but you would be wrong.

  53. Kristina says:

    It’s ok, my husband admitted before we had kids that he wanted kids for the cool toys ‘he’ would get. My husband nearly wet his pants when my parents bought our son a great big Starwars ATAT!

    • amber says:

      Crappy Papa still talks about the AT-AT he got one year when he was around seven. He misses it.

      • Christiana says:

        Dude, what is it wih the ATAT walkers? ? ?
        My husband bought that thing the day after learning the gender of our baby. No joke.

  54. Bronwen says:

    I have a friend who has two boys. She felt deprived because she didn’t get to play with girl toys with her kids, so she asked for a fashion Polly Pocket for Christmas for herself, lol!

  55. Teresa says:

    What’s the deal with boys=legos? My husband happily plays with legos and star wars with my daughter. She tried to light saber someone on the playground the other day. If he had to wait around for a son to do that he would have gone crazy.

  56. RJ says:

    Yep. This is why my man wanted kids! And even though we only have 1 girl so far, he was BEYOND thrilled when he discovered that there is GIRL lego and that DD is into it!

  57. Elena says:

    Legos are a universal fixation with dads :). However, there’s a dark side: the stage when the kids are almost but not quite old enough and patient enough to build them by themselves.

    This is how it plays out at our house: One of the boys wants to build the huge, intricate thing with NO help. Dad (and mom especially) wants to let him do it. But the kid hits a rough patch and Dad can’t help commenting, which the kid interprets as interfering. The kid blows up at that because he’s already frustrated by the tricky parts of building, everyone gets mad and sulky, the pieces are left lying on the dining room table for several days until someone Must vacuum, so they’re put away and the thing may never get fully assembled. Luckily, it does get played with regardless :).

  58. Kuda says:

    Congrats on the new look. Is it just that i’ve been away for a while or is this the first post with the new purpled theme? I like it!
    Web ninjas rock!

  59. Devan says:

    Hey, yes! Also, LEGOs maybe a great christmas idea for my girls. Off to shop Amazon! Cute post Amber, I laughed when he threw his arms up.

  60. willow matteson says:

    I love Star Wars and Legos! A family member bought me the Legos Millenium Falcon for Yule one year, I put it together while the kids were sleeping because it was MINE! My then 3yo was not happy he couldn’t play with it. It was totally destroyed by my younger child… I haven’t had the heart to put it back together yet but MAYBE I’ll let my former 3yo, now 5, help. Maybe…

  61. Bridgett says:

    Yea, I’m pretty sure toys are the main reason my husband wanted kids.

  62. Cindy Giver says:

    Hah hah!! This is great! Love how Crappy Papa is SO excited! Happy Thanksgiving to you and the family

  63. Robonanny says:

    My fiancé and 6 yo son found a cool game called Carrom in the shops recently and spent ages playing it before I dragged them both away…

    I thought my fiancé was going to suggest getting it for my son for Christmas (and play it with him) but no, he asked for it for himself!!!

  64. Yup. My husband had a kid for the Legos and Star Wars action figures.

  65. Michal says:

    My little man, Alex, who is 3 and I spend countless hours building with Lego. IMHO there is simply no better way to spend time with your child playing.

    The bond this allows us to form will last a lifetime.

    THAT’s why I like Lego so much and will continue buying it for Alex (at least until my wife threatens to leave me because we can no longer make our mortgage payments :).

    **Should you read this, Lego, and feel the need to give me a lifetime supply of free sets, I would be OK with that.

  66. Jo says:

    I had kids so I could read them the Hobbit. Second time round, just as good as the first time round. And soon… we get to go to the FILM!

    • amber says:

      Ditto on the Hobbit the 2nd time around. Reading it and seeing it new through his eyes has been amazing.

    • S says:

      My kid’s first time with The Cat in The Hat was amazing.

      He let me see a completely new aspect of the Cat.

      Now it’s one of my favourite books.

  67. SarahHannah says:

    Why all the posts about Lego for boys?! Lego was one of my favorite toys as a child and my 2-year-old daughter has loved Duplo since she got her first set at 1yr. We have tons of it now (none of it pink!), and yes, both my husband and I play with it all the time 🙂 And since my daughter recently decided that no one was allowed to take apart the “daycare,” “house,” “train station,” and “playground” that we built together, we will clearly have to buy more for Christmas 😉

  68. Jaye says:

    The baby announcements I did when my son was born said “Mommy can’t wait to share the joys, Daddy can’t wait to share the toys”… So true.

  69. Cristal Medeiros says:

    Just got advanced notice [sshhh] that Santa is bring us a Harry Potter Lego Game that we can build and play! I can’t wait!!!

  70. Rose says:

    This is exactly why my husband wants kids. No joke. Haha. And he’s very excited for our nephew to get old enough for Legos.

  71. Shelley says:

    My DH has gotten toys that were too advanced for our son…so that he can play with them and doesn’t even have to share.

  72. Matt says:

    It has the Almighty Sarlacc?? I can’t even imagine how to build this with Legos. I think my 15-month old daughter needs this.

  73. Kim P says:

    Before my husband and I had kids, he used to drool over the bulldozer and dump truck toys and complain that he never got to have cool toys like that. We had 4 girls. Our house was neekid Barbie land. He still drools over those bulldozers and dump trucks that his girls had no interest in so we never bought them. Hehe.

  74. Jamie says:

    No, I bet he wasn’t kidding. My boys got hot wheels race tracks for their first birthdays and christmases because DADDY thought they would be cool and the boys would have such fun! I had no say over presents till the girl came along. The boys all conspired to get all this weird boy cool stuff.

  75. This is exactly like my Husband!! He loves to build Leggo with our Son!!

  76. S says:

    Is Lego set like a 3D jigsaw?

  77. Lisa says:

    You should have seen how excited my DH was when the boys got lacrosse sticks (really small ones), wanted to play hockey (volunteered to help the coach) and started hunting! It’s a special thing a dad and his boys…

  78. Leanna says:

    Yep, that is why my hubby is glad we had kids so he can play with the toys too!!!

  79. Danica says:

    I don’t think he’s kidding, Amber. My husband says this often and our son’s just barely turned 3. What is with men and Legos?!

  80. Melly says:

    My husband actually has his own toys. Remote dinosaurs, cars and some bloody paint ball gun. My 5 year old asks me quite frequently, ‘can I play with dads toys?’. To be honest though-I was excited about my sone getting his first lot of ‘big boy lego’. It was a batman one. We spent the day putting it together while the housework got ignored. It was great! lol

  81. Paris says:

    pretty sure this is why my dad had kids. We had so much lego and buildy stuff when we were younger. He was always trying to encourage my brothers, who did seem to like it, but not as much as he did.

    They should have toy stores for middle age guys

  82. Kathleen says:

    We took the kids to the LEGO store Saturday. My husband said it was just to look and we’d order online, but I told him that was cruel. So everyone picked out something, even us 🙂

  83. Lene says:

    My youngest wants Coles Car (Lego Ninjago)
    my oldest boy the Ninjago Rattlecoptor
    and the big one (hubby) wants the Unimog (230$)

  84. Kimberly says:

    I TOTALLY had kids for the toys. I LOVE toys. I don’t know who’s more excited about toys, me or the kids! I admit, I even play with them after the kids have gone to bed.

  85. O Schaf says:

    I want a girl (we find out Dec 8 yay!!!) so that I can buy a toy kitchen and all the adorable food that you can get for it! My husband is confused since we have a real kitchen I can use, but somehow I am sure that the play one will be more fun. Boys can be chefs/cooks too though, so I’ll probably get it regardless (though a girl would probably be more interested). So excited!

    • S says:

      My boy loves cooking. Hard to keep him out of the kitchen. It totally depends on your kid’s inclination.

      I didn’t even know he liked cooking until he was working with play dough at daycare from 1yo.

      The kids at daycare really enjoy rolling out real dough and cutting cookies and eating cookies.

      It’s real cute to see small hands handling adult-sized equipment. I’m amazed to see how graceful they are, like martial artists!

  86. Jeff Baker says:

    My kids are still a little young for Lego, but in a few years they shall inherit a vast collection and many a play set.

  87. Emma says:

    That’s exactly why my husband had kids and he’s not ashamed to tell the world! He was buying Harry Potter Lego sets before our son was even born! Actually, before we were even pregnant!

  88. Jennifer says:

    ahem…my husband never had hotwheels car track with the loops and jumps and all that nonsense. Just the little cars.

    Guess what my 3 year old already had a shit ton of?

  89. Jenny Ramsey says:

    my husband still claims he did it for the tax deductions. 🙂

  90. I can’t wait for my son to be old enough to build legos with dad!

  91. islajmom says:

    my hubs is a little different. he wanted kids so he could watch all the cartoons and Disney movies he wanted.
    he also is waaaaaaaaaaay excited about getting our 2.5 year old daughter a bed tent.

  92. Jennifer says:

    Before we had kids my husband informed me that he still has all his Legos. Our oldest just turned two, so no Legos yet. He did get extremely excited when she started playing with blocks, though.

  93. Rebecca says:

    Hahaha!!! I had a kid because we were doing the rhythm method, and apparently it doesn’t actually work.

    But I love her anyways.

  94. Kathlyn says:

    My husband recently got his huge tub of legos out for our 5 yo. He spends more time playing with them than the kids.

  95. Elisabeth says:

    Video and board games. That is all. I love that I always have someone around who is equally thrilled to play a game … I haven’t had that since I was in grade school!

  96. Briony says:

    I just saw on facebook that one of my old best friends husband got a 16+ lego set for his 40th birthday! It was a Tower Bridge (yes that is the bridge in london that some americans thought they were buying when their bought london bridge, apparently… wink)
    Hilariously I think he is having to make it late at night so his 7, 5 and 2 year olds don’t mess it up!

  97. Jen says:

    And this, THIS is why my hubby wanted kids. 🙂

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  132. Dawn says:

    Funny…I’m reading this the Tuesday before Thanksgiving 2013. 🙂