While Mama Was in The Bathroom (Episode 5)

(Previous episodes can be read here.) 

This one is about taking a shower. As I’ve mentioned, I’ve started incorporating showers into my life again. 

Crappy Boy is busy building something in the family room so I tell him what I’m doing:

mama in shower1

He says okay. 

(And because someone might ask, Crappy Baby is playing with cars in the same room. I just didn’t draw him because I didn’t feel like it.)

I get in the shower.

Seconds later I hear the most horrifying scream:

mama in shower 2

Something is wrong!

I knew I shouldn’t have attempted to shower! Crap, this is all my fault!!! 

My heart is racing in fear as I jump out of the shower and throw on a towel as I run through the house, dripping wet:

mama in shower4

I slide into the living room, almost falling down.

What is it? What is wrong? What has happened?

And Crappy Boy looks up and says calmly:

mama in shower3

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183 Responses to While Mama Was in The Bathroom (Episode 5)

  1. Kbee says:

    My heart races for you and my towels drip with the same dilemma

    • My kid has recently caught on to my desire to carve out four and a half seconds for my self (unacceptable!)…he just sits by the shower and screams “NONONONONONONNO NOOOOOO!”
      I need to get him a kennel or something.

  2. robin says:

    Every. Single. Day. Gah!

  3. Mandy says:

    Yes, that seems about right.

  4. Kendra Rogers says:

    LOL! Been there… then there was the time that I served my 2 and 4 yr olds peanuts and cheese for snack and jumped in the shower to realize that choking hazards were a poor choice for snack if I was going to be showering! Luckily, my 4 yr old is a whiz and noting trouble and would have gotten me had any arisen… which it didn’t!

  5. mama nalyn says:

    you have the funniest kids!

    and your very inspiring… i’m very inspired to know that someday somehow i can take a bath again. LOL

  6. Jo says:

    Yup! That’s how it goes down…

  7. Annie says:

    We have a glass door so I usually have an audience if I shower while the kids are awake. Sigh… all dignity was lost when I gave birth.

    • Kimberly S. says:

      LOL!!! So true!

    • Monica Smith says:

      My glass door hasn’t been cleaned in ages … no worries about that audience actually seeing anything! : )

    • Melanie says:

      Ha Ha. I tell my friends who work out of the house at least they get to go to the bathroom in private a couple times a day. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • Diane says:

        I am a teacher so although I do get to go to the bathroom in private a couple of times a day, I am raving the clock to finish and be back in my classroom before the bell rings. Three minutes between classes is not enough!!!

  8. Suzanne says:

    Yesterday my four year old put a whole container (one of those little jars) of “lip stuff” on. While I was in the shower. ON her face, on the window, on her hair, on her sheets…. (it goes on and on) 4 shampoos later, and I still can’t get it out of her hair!!! Ugggh!

    • Tina says:

      Try dawn dish soap to get it out of the hair!!

    • Monz says:

      My kiddo smeared an entire LARGE container of Vaseline on his head once. The only thing that kept me from having to shave him bald was GOOP….the degreasing hand cleaner my husband keeps out in the garage. No worries…it’s non-toxic. Apparently, it also works on gum annnnnd it gets grease stains out of clothing (even after you’ve already laundered and dried the item before realizing it was stained). I now keep several tubes of it inside my house. Totally awesome stuff (and, no, I’m not a GOOP saleslady)!

      • Anne says:

        While jar of Vaseline for us = bald 2 year old…we decided shaving was just easier, so thankful we have boys ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Boy oh Boy says:

      The trick to get vaseline or anything of the like out of hair is to rub a bunch of cornstarch in it first and then shampoo it out. It works like a charm! I’ve had to use it a few times. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • The Mommy says:

      Toothpaste will get it out. It got Vaseline out of my twins’ hair.

      • Pip says:

        I’m hugely glad for all these tips since we still have lanolin all over our wall from the time 2yr ago when eldest son saw fit to redecorate. Very difficult stuff to get off, but I’ve never tried cornstarch or toothpaste!! ๐Ÿ˜€

        • Staci says:

          Noxema also works well to help remove Vaseline. ๐Ÿ™‚

          I can’t decide which I like less…the company of two toddlers trying to jump in the tub with me or running through the house to find the cause of the blood-curdling scream. I love my little ones, but I do miss long, hot, quiet baths!

          • michelle dunajcik says:

            I would be happy at this point to be able to fill the tub without three boys and one great dane trying to get in! Long.

  9. Mallory says:

    yup. although usually the scream is over something overly dramatic like the tv channel getting changed.

  10. Lisa Ferguson says:

    I made the mistake of showering one time when I only had one child. She was 4.5 at the time and had never in her whole entire life attempted to shove foreign objects anywhere in her body. I thought we were good to go, that it would never happen, because, after all, she was almost 5 years old. Wrong. I hear this terrified voice screaming Mama, Mama. The door slams open, I’m half outta the shower already. She’s shoved this tiny little cylinder-shaped rubber thing that somehow is needed in packing ceiling fans (we were in the process of moving and changing out fans in our house) up her nose. Luckily “we” managed to blow it out, but only after I threatened a trip to the ER if she didn’t blow her brains out. Love those moments!

  11. Deb says:

    great facial expressions in these. you’re good.

  12. Kiza says:

    I’m not a fan of the TV babysitter, but if it weren’t for Imagination Movers and a bowl of cereal, I’d never get to bathe at all. Once upon a time, I thought I’d be able to shower again if I tried it while my husband was home. Nope. That just ends with all three of them standing in the bathroom, waiting for me to get out. *sigh*

    • Kat says:

      yep that’s what happens at my house too!

    • Jen says:

      Too funny!

    • Courtney says:

      My husband holds the baby in the bathroom two minutes after I’ve stepped in and says “are you done yet?” “What is taking you so long?”

    • neal says:

      My toddler and I watch mama through the glass for different reasons.

      “Take your time,” I call out. “Yeah, soap those toes.”

      “Get out, you creepy creepers,” she responds. I sigh and haul our daughter out.

      • Cynthia says:

        I’m so glad that there are dads that follow this blog. Your perspective can be so different, and often amusing.

        • Shelley says:

          I’m so glad there are dads who enjoy watching the mothers of their toddlers shower! Mothers of toddlers don’t always feel so great about their naked selves.

          • neal says:

            Yeah, well, it’s a delicate thing to balance ogling your wife with wholesome example-setting for your toddler, who’s watching very closely. I don’t think I want her ogling much of anything just yet.

      • L says:

        Lol. This is totally my son (9 mo) and husband too. They stare for very different reasons.

      • Josie says:

        Yes, my husband and my son are both obsessed with my breasts. Different reasons though.

    • Sabrina says:

      Yup… I have 4 kids. One is just taller and older than the rest. Sigh.

    • Heather says:

      I try that, but it usually ends with me in a towel just wishing that a shower included drying off and dressing. Nope, I get to shower (occasionally without my 1yo daughter screaming in the background) and the second the bathroom door opens, I’m being handed a wiggling 1yo who’s looking at me like “Oh, it must be time to eat since the milk is RIGHT THERE.”

      • L says:

        Yes! My 9 mo too! He loves to nurse after I shower, and sometimes when I bathe him hin the big tub rather than baby tub it is easier to undress and hold him to do a quick rinse…but he always finds the boob! In fact one time he was latched the entire time I washed him, wouldn’t let go.

      • L says:

        Yes! My 9 mo too! He loves to nurse after I shower (as in right now…he has spidey senses since he was sleeping (11 pm) woke like he could smell the bare breasts.
        Sometimes when I bathe him hin the big tub rather than baby tub it is easier to undress and hold him to do a quick rinse…but he always finds the boob! In fact one time he was latched the entire time I washed him, wouldn’t let go.

    • Mary says:

      With my 11 mo Dad or I go in with the baby shower while baby places, switch parents out and while the first parent is drying off and getting dressed the second parent is cleaning baby, and depending on her energy level is whether she stays in and plays while the second parent showers also. If she is already crying for the milk, or clearly tired she gets out as soon as first parent is ready for her.

      I have no illusion that we can let her out of our sight yet. She already wants to try shoving things in the toilet, she has found the water line to the toilet and tried to remove that.

  13. E. Rodriguez says:

    Mine just follow me in. My son jumps around and chatters, and my daughter eats the toilet paper and pulls back the curtain to get her head wet. It sucks, but I know where they are…

    • JL says:

      Yours eats toilet paper too? What is WITH that? You’d think after one time they’d realize it’s not tasty.

      • Kimberellie says:

        hahahahahaha! My little girl eats toilet paper too! I guess it’s delish. We adults obviously don’t know what we’re missing.

        • Pip says:

          My boy used to eat paper, so I ended up buying that edible baking paper (rice paper type stuff) so he could munch away to his heart’s content. Maybe wasn’t the greatest idea in terms of getting him past that particular obsession, but he’s 7.5yr now with no sneaky paper-eating tendencies so I think it was ok.

  14. Julie says:

    I set my alarm to get up before she does every day, just so I never have to have that moment. I miss sleep, but I do enjoy being clean.

  15. amy says:

    i just get little people wandering in, and nearly have a heart attack when the room is suddenly dark (my shower is tucked is beside the door so when it opens it blocks out the light), and I realize I am not alone…

  16. ErynBob says:

    These are the “special” times my kids get to watch cartoons. When Mommy absolutely HAS to take a shower. They watch so little TV that they are riveted the whole time.

  17. Kate says:

    Heh. This was me literally an hour ago. Dripping wet, racing through the house, only the Mama-Scream was an effort to get me to notice that Brother had TOUCHED OTHERBROTHER’S NECKLACE!!! He *touched* it! With his finger! One of three he was wearing!! LIFE. IS. OVER!!!!!!

    • Kimberly says:

      With his *finger*?! The nerve!

      This made me laugh to tears! If you’re going to cry… do it while you’re laughing. ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. Sarah says:

    Yeah. I’m glad my kid is only 1 right now because I can keep her in the bathroom with me. Granted, she’s all over the place and keeps ducking to where I can’t see her. I’m getting worried about what’s going to happen when she gets older and corralling her in the bathroom with me and one of the dogs isn’t working anymore…

  19. Edie says:

    My 3.5 girls stand at the shower and stare at my husband like it’s a peep show. I only shower at night. ๐Ÿ™‚

  20. Diana says:

    I can’t even take a 2 second shower, I’ll leave the bathroom door open just in case and as soon as he hears the water he comes running and crying b/c he can’t find me… he’ll stand by the curtain & the moment I turn off the shower, he runs back to his toys b/c he knows I’m done lol

  21. Laura Anne says:

    I have at least gotten my six year old to the point that he actually enters the bathroom to ask his questions instead of standing in the other room yelling (we instituted and no yelling from room to room policy a couple of years ago – ahhhhhh). However, even if someone else is home, and easily available, that can help he still interrupts my shower to ask me first – it is the must have mama syndrome.

    • heather says:

      OMG that is my son too-I can be taking a nap-because I work third shift, in the shower or dad is even in the same room- as him or even me too and he comes to me to ask a silly question…. I’m like really-your dad is right there…..

  22. Julie says:

    I remember doing that to my mom 25 years ago, and totally not understanding her frustration. Now, it’s payback time, I guess!

  23. IntactivistMama says:

    “Yo Gabba Gabba” distracts my toddler so I can grab a shower. <3

  24. jen says:

    Mine didn’t scream when I was in shower last weekday morning. He decided to paint the back of the couch, patio door, floor and then proceed upstairs to his room and wipe his dresser with the poop he had in his diaper. (He’s 3, 8 year old was on computer playing a game and didn’t notice this wonderful masterpiece) guess its after bed time showers for me for a while :p

  25. Kylie says:

    I have four kids (6, 4, 2 and 8 mos). I shower at night…when the kids are in bed and my husband is home…sometimes we’ll shower together so it’s almost like a date. If I have to shower during the day….wait…I don’t shower during the day…..

  26. cathy says:

    Mine view the shower like the phone… If I’m using it, they absolutely, positively MUST have my attention RIGHT NOW. I instituted a rule that “If Mommy’s in the shower, the answer is No.” (can I watch TV? – no. can I have a snack? – no. wanna see what I built with lego? – no.) … and I take all my phone calls locked in the bathroom… They’re 10 and 13 now and things have yet to change… probably because their father will hand me the phone, expecting me to take a call while I’m in the shower… Sigh.

  27. Neha says:

    I did this once…dripping wet. I slipped down our stone stairs and hit my bum so bad I nearly couldn’t sit for a week. From then on, both kids are in the bathroom when I shower!

  28. clevermama says:

    My son is seven and he STILL does this. I try to shower when he is sleeping. Doesn’t always work.

  29. Marie says:

    Right now I only have one 3 year old. I just bring him in the shower with me. I don’t care if he sits on the floor of the shower and plays the whole time. At least I can see him.

    No clue what I will do once #2 arrive in Arpil. Hopefull #1 will be fine left alone by then. Showering while holding a baby is difficult without toddler “help”.

  30. Cherish says:

    Recent hits include “there’s a cat outside”, “my sock is wet” and “I have a wedgie but I fixed it” (child is now naked from the waist down).

  31. Beki says:

    yep.. been there done that. My 3 year old usually has a fit because I “put on the wrong Thomas movie”.. he wants “the one where thomas crashes” which is every damn thomas episode.. after going through this numerous times I have decided to ask specifically what “thomas crashes into”..

    • heather says:

      that’s my son too-not on thomas crashing but something thomas does-I’ve just started telling him to pick the movie himself and I will put it in…He’s 6 lol

  32. Susan says:

    Those darn showers!!!! Lol

  33. Tia says:

    Shower on. A few enjoyable seconds. What? Was that her? Did she shout? Shower off. Silence. No one dying. Shower on. Few less relaxed seconds, waiting for something to happen. What was that? Shower off. Nada. Shower on. So I’m hearing things. Or my shower is a screamer.

    • Michele says:

      I must have the same shower!

      • Ruth says:

        Bahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! I’m laughing bc I totally do this.

        • Dee says:

          hahaha this was so me this morning, thought I heard a chair scraping on the kitchen floor, jumped out of shower expecting to see my 3yr old biting chunks from the camembert (that’s what happened last time) but no he was quietly sitting under his blanket watching tv, must have been the neighbours garage door I heard.

    • amber says:

      I think I need a louder shower.

  34. Nora says:

    LOL terrible! Although my 6 yr old stepson has the same habit, but he barges into the bathroom with whatever news he just has. My 6 mo just learned to sit on his own, so I have gotten an extra 10 mins into my life for showers thanks to him being happily entertained while he sits among his toys

  35. Louise says:

    If I attempt to shower during the day my 2 1/2 year old just gets in with me and hogs the water *sigh*. At least i know where he is and what he’s doing!

  36. once that happend to me, but he was calling because he had let my mother-in-law in to the house, of course that was also the day i forgot to check for a towel….

  37. Belinda says:

    I gave up and just brought her and her drawing pad or sometimes the iPod in with me. If she was entertained enough I sometimes even got to shave my legs!

    • Suzanne says:

      shave your legs???? I don’t.understand. please explain… ๐Ÿ˜‰ The VERY least I get to do is run a dull razor (cause who remembers to get more or bring a new one into the shower) up and down my armpits a few times. but legs??? That’s a no. and on the rare occasion I do get to do a bit of landsacaping, my husband thinks he’s getting lucky, but those same creatures who interrupt my shower daily have a way of interrupting well, everything else!!! But I guess that is another Blog!!!

  38. Kimberellie says:

    Too funny. The comments: also too funny. My son goes and makes pretend tea for me when I am in the shower and brings it to me. There must be some secret course children take where they learn to harass their parents when they are in the shower.

  39. Richain says:

    My children start out in other rooms when I shower (boy and baby happily playing whatever). It only takes 3 minutes for them to notice that mommy has gone (even if I announce I am leaving to take a shower) and migrate to the bathroom… so they can press their little faces against the glass shower door. I tell myself that this is educational… they are learning to bathe by watching me. On the other hand, I fear that they may be learning the nasty habit of sneaking in on people who are taking showers (like my poor parents) and scaring the crap out of them!

  40. British American says:

    Ha, nice!

    I had a surprise in the shower today too. My 7 year old and 4 year old were playing upstairs, whilst my 17 month old was strapped into the “Fisher Price infant to toddler rocker”, watching a ‘Baby Signing Time’ DVD. I hear someone walk into the bathroom – no big deal – but then the shower curtain is pulled back and it’s my 1 year old. The chair does not keep him trapped – he can wriggle his way out of the straps and escape! At least he came to see me first, rather than climbing onto the kitchen table and grabbing the knife there. My older two always stayed in that chair and watched TV – this guy, not so much. :/

  41. Jessica says:

    My 2 yo will play in the bathroom while I am taking a shower if her older bro and sis are at school. She has gotten into the habit of getting into the cabinet under the sink and playing with make up or whatever she finds. One day, I came out of the shower and she had unwrapped and take the cardboard applicator of tampons and shoved them on her fingers. I drew back to find my daughter a la tampon hands. It was so much fun for her I had to hide my tampons.

  42. Melissa says:

    welcome to my life!

  43. Kiinu says:

    If my 3yo doesn’t shower with me, he sticks his head inside the curtain to wet his hair the whole time asking “I towah too?!?!?” If he does shower with me her get’s offended when it’s over. “No, you det out! More watta Taymus.”

  44. Stephanie says:

    Oh my…I can’t even try to take a shower while my 2.5 year old and 3.5 year old boys are awake. Forget it. They follow me into the bathroom and stand with their faces smashed against the glass door, staring mutely. It’s creepy. Even when my husband is home, he can’t convince them to come hang out with Daddy and leave Mommy alone for five minutes. FIVE MINUTES. At least they’ve learned not to barge in when I’m using the bathroom…they just stand outside the door and pound on it, howling, because that’s so much better…

  45. Brandi says:

    OMG I love this blog so much (you are the ONLY blog I follow since a virus got me locked out of my own lol) BUT… I should have known better than to mosey over today as I just had surgery on Tuesday and laughing this hard is killing me!

    I am one of the lucky ones that has a hubby that keeps the kiddos occupied while I am in the shower (sometimes I even get long hot baths with a steamy romance novel!) But when he was still in university and the kids were only a few months old and just over 2 there were many a 2-minute-soap-and-scrub if I was lucky enough to get their naps to line up perfectly! *sigh* I miss the days when they still napped…

  46. sounds about right….. ๐Ÿ™‚ I have been getting real creative lately coming up with ways to entertain him safely while I shower ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Oh please share! I’ll give my boys yogurt paint, brushes, and paper or hard boiled eggs to crack and eat. Just something to keep them occupied safely while mommy takes a quick 3 minute shower! Other creative ideas welcome. ๐Ÿ™‚

  47. Kim says:

    The only thing more annoying than my shower being interrupted every time I take a shower is that every time my husband takes a shower, he is NOT interrupted.

  48. Lauren says:

    I sigh every day, and proceed to gripe to my hubby about how my 3 year old boy has a “Mommy is in the shower without ME radar”….but the truth is, I love it. We giggle, and play with the water, and his little eyes look up at me with so much admiration. In what will indefinitely seem like seconds, these precious moments of alone time with my boy will be few and far between, and I will only be able to remember the warm and fuzzies over how badly my little boy needed to Never Ever be without me. (I do remember the day when I would take a shower and get to shave both my legs in the same shower….I guess that will have to wait to happen again.)

  49. Michele says:

    I try to keep my twin 2 yr old boys corralled in my bedroom with the bathroom door open. Idiot that I am, I left a bottle of water on my nightstand. Full. Capped. Unopened. Was silent & then great peels of laughter. My bed was now a waterbed. Just thankful it was water!

  50. Mehendi says:

    For the longest time I had a ‘shower only when you stink’ rule ( and the stink cannot be fought with deo , perfume or febreeze)!
    Now that the boys are 4 and 5.5 I can do daytime showers, but they still have to be under 3 mins! ๐Ÿ™‚

  51. julie says:

    This is awesome! The post and the comments! My secret to showering is to go to the gym where they will watch my 2 yr old while I read and do cardio, get a nice shower, even do my hair if I feel like it! It is so worth the monthly dues, and gives me that extra motivation to actually go to the gym! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Lesley says:

      I wish I had a gym like this on a daily basis. My hubby goes to the one in town, but they don’t have child care. I’ve been in to ask/harrass them about it several times, but still no go. So that’s my excuse for not getting to exercise.

  52. Jennifer says:

    I am in tears right now. This is is hilarious!

  53. Tricia says:

    I wait until my 9 week old is sleeping, then I bring my 20mo daughter in the shower with me. One of her new favorite phrases is “mommy shower!!!! Mommy shower!!” and she gets a bit miffed when I shower without her…even though when she’s in with me she spends about half the time freaking out because water is hitting her in the face.

  54. Candi says:

    The picture of you with your towel reminds me of Miss Clavell in Madeleine. “Something is not right!”

  55. Elena says:

    I had this happen to me the other day, except I did not grab a towel and the scream was because his brother was looking at him. And as I stood there naked in my own large puddles, all color drained from my face, heartbeat wildly racing, I couldn’t help but think of you and the crappy image that would depict the moment. I won’t forget the towel next time.

  56. Yolanda says:

    Today I got out of the shower to the sound of whimpering. I immediately go to my son’s room to find him and everything in his crib covered in poop. As soon as he saw me he started sobbing. Poor guy was so distressed with the poop blow out he tried to rub it off himself onto everything in reach!

  57. Chantal says:

    Hence why I shower 2-3 times a week…gross, yes, but necessary.

    • Samantha says:

      2-3 times a week?!? That sounds like luxury!! I have four boys ages 2-10 and I shower once every 5 days. True story ๐Ÿ™

      • S says:

        This is a reality I’ve not many where else.

        Lack of sleep, yes.
        Lack of privacy, yes.

        Lack of hygiene…no.

  58. Sandy W. says:

    I was in the shower one time when my 3 year old yells from the other room, “Dats okay Mama…accidents happen”. A bit concerned, I called out to his older brother to inform me of what the accident was and he yelled out “Don’t blame me…I didn’t do it”. I finally came out dripping wet to find the 3 yr old had tried to pour himself some milk from a full gallon and spilled the whole gallon on the kitchen floor and was now pushing it with the Swiffer mop under all the appliances (fridge, stove, etc). Good times!

  59. lynda says:

    mines now 22 …. do i finally get to shower/bath alone …. nope he comes in to tell me his days news or to use the loo or any other don’t mind me, reason ….. and if it’s not him its our 2 dogs staring at me while I’m in the bath or on the loo …. or the cats wanting to drink from the loo/bath/tap while I’m using them …… grrrrr … one day they will all leave home …. wont they??

  60. Mary says:

    I normally shower in the evening after squirt is in bed. I stay up much later then he does anyway so it works well for me. Plus I’ve always liked taking long hot showers to relax and have “blah” time before bed anyway!
    Your illustrations are the best by the way!

  61. SingleMama says:

    Happens to me all.the.time. HAHA!

  62. Michelle says:

    Ah, sounds familiar! This is hilarious. I end up taking my shower at night bc this exact same kind of thing happens to me too. I just need five minutes to bathe do I won’t stink up the sheets!! Oy!

  63. Beth says:

    That is literally every morning for me. Sometimes, I don’t let my crappy baby out of her crib until I’m done showering and my hair is blown dry. Yes, I am evil.

  64. Callee S. says:

    i try and shower during nap time (even though i miss taking one!) or I put her in her bed with the computer on her dresser playing sesame street…once out and drying my hair i get her out ๐Ÿ˜€

  65. Lauren says:

    Ha! I’ve done that, even slid around on the tile a bit just for effect.

    By the way, whenever I see a “while mama was in the bathroom” episode, I get really excited. Giddy even!

  66. Jennifer R says:

    After almost killing myself trying to get to another room MANY times, I’ve started making the kids play in the bathroom while I shower. Yes, it’s not as relaxing, but I can usually get through a shower without many screams!

  67. Mootsie Tootsie says:

    I should have figured. Hmmfph you got my heart racing reading this… for nothing. ๐Ÿ™

  68. Crystal says:

    I’ve considered putting those ball pit balls into the bathtub and throwing the kids in there while I take a shower. Tub/shower are separate thankfully in our bathroom.

    • S says:

      That’s a great idea!

      In our house, the shower and bathtub are also separate.
      In different rooms. On different floors. Maybe I can use your idea in a different house.

  69. Jocelyn Stover says:

    This is why i married a man who has 3 teenagers! I have 4 people who can take care of the baby (and each other for that matter) while I can do pretty much whatever I want! YAY!!! it’s almost worth putting up with teenage attitude and drama problems…..almost…..haha!

  70. Erin C. says:

    My husband is always so mystified as to why I need to shower after the kids are in bed. How is it possible that I couldn’t sneak in a quick shower during the day he asks? Then I left him home alone with four kids last weekend while I went out of town kid free…. Someone’s hair was looking pretty greasy when I got home!!!

  71. Debbie says:

    When I run (naked, soapy) from showers, I always think of Hollywood actresses claiming that they HAD to be naked to be in character. Was that character EVER a mom? No. Not once. Character moms have perfect clothes, hair, makeup, bodies, etc. at all times. Blech.

    • S says:

      Movie moms also have a director, a lead camera person, lighting director, acting coach, make-up artist.

      See? They can’t do it by themselves either. *smug*

  72. SHELLY says:

    This happens to me every time. That is why I usually only get to shower at night when my husband is home:/ I miss daytime showers

  73. I have glass shower doors and my youngest (5 years) frequently comes knocking, “mom, I can’t change the channel….mom I can’t get the wii on…mom, my sister is bugging me….” No matter how many times I tel him that I can’t do anything about it when I’m in the shower and he’ll have to wait….

  74. Rachel says:

    I used to have puzzles in my bathroom as my son wouldn’t leave me alone for five minutes. Now he gets the pleasure of eating breakfast while I race to shower. Sometimes he even gets tv. Ah, bad mama. Okay, really just a normal mama. When he comes in and NEEDS me i always ask if there is gushing blood. If not give me two minutes. Really you can wait two minutes, again unless their is gushing blood.

  75. Woolies says:

    Mommies are not allowed to shower.
    Mommies are not allowed to shower.
    Mommies are not allowd to shower.

  76. Lisa says:

    I’m pretty lucky because I can usually get through a whole shower without too much trouble from my 2 year old. However, I had a similar experience a few weeks ago when I was upstairs doing my hair and whatnot. My 8 year old and I were up in my bathroom, and my 2 year old had gone downstairs without me knowing. All of a sudden we heard a bloodcurdling scream from downstairs. I had no idea what happened, he screamed like he was on fire and came running back upstairs yelling “someone’s down there!” and crying. So needless to say he scared the sh*t out of me! We quietly snuck downstairs, and guess what? No one, not a soul… WTF was that??!!

  77. Alice says:

    My 2 year old doesn’t generally bother me if I’m in the shower, but recently I came out and found her with a bottle of windex in her hand about to “clean” one of the dogs. Glad it was a short shower ๐Ÿ™‚

  78. Kelly says:

    I love how Crappy Mama has more hair once it has gotten wet in the shower! I love your blog! Some things never change — my two babies are now 25 and 28, and they used to do all the same crazy stuff just like your crappy children. Thanks for all the good laughs — I can laugh now that I have gone through it all and remember exactly what it was like when the kids were little.

  79. Charlotte says:

    This is why I do the horrible parenting thing ever and park my son in front of the TV whilst I shower. That way I know he won’t move in the 5-10 minutes I am under the shower.

    Ok, I admit, sometimes I shower for 15 minutes. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • S says:

      Pre-baby, I swore to myself I wouldn’t use a tv babysitter. Now, I wish he would take a tv babysitter and let me have a few minutes to myself: eating, tea, shower, karzi. You know, the essentials of refreshing myself and replenishing my energies to be with him again.

  80. Rhonda says:

    I just read the story and all the comments and then just realised I could have had a decent hot shower in that time! But then I wouldn’t have had that massive laugh attack…what’s better – laughter or smelling like soap?!

  81. Jessica says:

    eerily familiar!

  82. Alayne says:

    And my husband wonders why I refuse to take a shower unless he is home, conscious, and has direct possession of both children.

  83. hannah says:

    I jumped in the shower the other day while my 4 year old was playing cars int he other room and the 8 month old was watching me. Unfortunately I forgot that when he crawled closer to the shower I would not be able to get off because he would by then have his face and body up against the door while crying. Thankfully the 4 year old came to show me the car he had made and moved the baby so I could exit the shower…that was fun.

  84. Erin says:

    I have recently started taking showers “alone” again once Hubby goes to work (usually only if I didn’t get one the previous day and have to leave the house) however I am lucky enough (and I say that with all the sarcasm possible) that Canyon, my one year old, just hangs out in the bathroom watching me making sure that water is spilling out onto the floor since he will not let me shut the shower door. Most of the time I’m keeping him from climbing in then washing but I figure having water run over me counts as a shower-ish.

  85. Gracie says:

    i know exactly how this goes…! except for me it was that they’d eaten all of their jelly :s the mind just says WTF kiddies…!
    i just blogged about my daily communal showering…! does this also happen to you…?

  86. Debra says:

    Showers at night are the way to go! It is great having that time to myself.

  87. I always waver between hoping the baby doesn’t wake up while I’m showering and hoping she DOES, so I can hear her screaming and know she’s alive…

  88. Lacey says:

    My daughter, age 5, is so self entertaining. She keeps herself busy in her room while I take a shower–usually. The last time I took a shower, she decided to retrieve a bag of toys from our van. She helped herself to my keys and opened the trunk. When I got out of the shower she said, “We have very nice neighbors! One of them helped me get my bag out and shut the trunk door.” I am thankful she did not lock herself in the car (or the keys) and that we do indeed have a nice neighbor, but now I will only shower when she is good and asleep! And I hide my keys.

  89. katelynn says:

    If I wan to attempt a shower while the kids are up, I have to put a baby gate to the stairs (going down since the shower is upstairs and 1yo baby LOVES the steps!) and then baby gate the bathroom, but leave the door open. I close all other doors by the bathroom and leave baby’s and kid’s doors open. Then I have to double check that no small toy is laying around that 1 yo could find. I give 1 yo some toys to distract her. Tell 3 yo and 6 yo to”keep an eye on your sister” and rush to the bathroom! Usually within minutes I have 1 yo standing at the gate by the bathroom, screaming for mama, and 3 and 6 yo are fighting over a toy and tattling at the gate. Ugh……

  90. My son is 4.5 and has never been a wanderer or trouble-seeker so he usually just watches a new cartoon on my bed while I shower. He has become quite proficient at playing games on my laptop and my cell phone so whichever is handy, he will start it up and play. This past weekend, I set him up with a cartoon and he found my phone and I was ready to shower. When I got out, he announced “I talked to Daddy on the phone”. I laughed at him and thought he was just pretending until I looked at the call log. Apparently, my husband had called while I was in the shower and the boy answered. They had a nice conversation about Mommy being in the shower and him watching cartoons and playing games. Ugh, he is just too grown up now!

  91. RedinNC says:

    When he was 5, my son decided about 6 a.m. one Saturday morning that he simply must get out of bed and get dressed now. He had just acquired a belt, which he was really excited about. This resulted in him waking me up in a complete panic… because he needed help with his belt. Once I determined that there were no wolves in the house and this was simply a wardrobe problem, I told him that I would help him when I got up, later. Which of course provoked a 30 minute tantrum about “Nooo! Now!!!!” Blerg. When will they learn what is super important that I must wake mommy up at all costs??? Later that day I came up with a rule of thumb that I was particularly proud of. “Child,” I said, “The only time you should wake me up about a problem with your clothes… is if they’re on fire!”

  92. I just bring mine into the shower with me. Consequently, my shower is filled with toys…

  93. You have 169 comments right now! I can’t imagine you read all of these, but I’m going to add my two cents anyway. ๐Ÿ™‚ This is the only time of day my kids watch TV. I can turn on a half hour show and be guaranteed they will sit like they are in a trance, not moving, barely blinking, while I take a shower.

  94. Jennifer says:

    During the week I get up at 5 a.m., weekends 6:30, and shower before everyone else in the house is awake. That way, I don’t have to take a 3 minute shower and can actually shave and enjoy it without feeling the mad rush of kids wanting my undivided attention.

  95. michelle c. says:

    I learned to just take my daughter in the shower with me now. if i don’t she’ll stand at the bathroom door, banging and banging and just screaming “Mama!Mama!” after cutting myself shaving a dozen times trying to hurry, i”ve learne it’s just “easier” taking her in with me!!

  96. Hilarious as always. The post and the comments as well of course! ๐Ÿ™‚

  97. Hilarious! I’m posting link on our preschool fb…we’ve all been there and that’s what makes it *so* funny!

  98. Dina S. says:

    I have no sympathy for any commenter who is managing to shower DAILY. You owe it to the rest of us to tell how you are pulling it off.

  99. Heather says:

    This happened to me recently only I did not have the luxury of having the time to grab a towel! My boys were screaming like they had broken an arm or were being held at knife point so I went running out of the shower sans towel, hands wrapping around my private parts, heart pumping at break neck speed only to find them fighting over a toy. Mommy was not thrilled, LOL!

  100. Jasmine in Jazzyland says:

    My mom just showered with them. It worked ๐Ÿ™‚ she washed em, I dryed em!