First of all, I’m lying. I wasn’t in the bathroom. I was in the shower this time. Since I have this whole bathroom series going on (episode 1, episode 2) I’m just going to include it here. I probably should just rename it “what happens when mama ignores her kids for more than 60 seconds” but you get the picture…
I’m ripe. More than ripe actually, I am fermenting. I really need a shower. I’ll just do a rinse off, won’t even wash my hair. It won’t take more than three minutes.
I tell them I’m getting in the shower. Crappy Boy is drawing. Crappy Baby is just wandering around. I suggest he play with cars or build something. He enthusiastically says he will build something and runs off. Perfect!
I’m all set! They will be occupied for at least 90 seconds. Just enough time.
I shower. I don’t even wait for the water to get fully warm. I just get in and get out.
While I’m toweling off, I yell, “What are you guys doing?!”
Crappy Boy says “drawing”. Crappy Baby says “building something”.
Yay! Everything is fine!
I get dressed. I brush my hair. I put a little sunscreen on. I’m actually getting ready for the day. This is awesome!
Five minutes later I enter the room where Crappy Baby has been building with blocks. But he isn’t there. The blocks are untouched. What the heck?
Then I find him in the kitchen:
Oh. He thought I meant that kind of building. The real kind.
Crappy Boy had just received one of those “real building sets” as a gift that includes already cut shapes of wood and glue. He made a birdhouse and a coin bank. Crappy Baby thought I was giving him permission to play with it. No wonder he reacted so enthusiastically about my suggestion earlier!
He is sitting there covered in glue. There is glue on him, on his diaper, all over the wood pieces and the floor. He didn’t know to twist the orange cap to open the glue so he just pulled the whole thing off.
The thing is? He looks SO proud of himself. He built something!
So I ask him what he built:
This is what parents do. When your child makes scribbles on a piece of paper you ask them about it. They’ll make up some crap about how it is a dragon with a camera and you nod and say how great it is.
I fully expect him to say he made a house. Or a car. Or some other thing that looks absolutely nothing like the mess he made.
He looks down at his masterpiece for a moment.
Then he says:
Ha ha ha. Yep, that is what it is! Great job!