I go to the bathroom sometimes.
I know, it is really horrible of me. Neglectful even. I'm sure perfect moms store up their bowel movements for when they have back-up childcare. I'm going to go ahead and admit publicly that sometimes, sometimes I have to go and don't wait.
I know my kids are safe during these 3-5 minutes. Hey, don't rush me! Sometimes I even read a whole page of a book! Or the back of a shampoo bottle!
As soon as I shut the door they continually and very loudly let me know that they are okay:
But just when I thought I had it all figured out, it changed. My bathroom system is broken.
Now when I shut the door they dissappear. And they are quiet too.
Quiet is always cause for alarm:
Most of the time, they are totally okay. Playing with puzzles, looking at books and other non-bad quiet activities.
But sometimes, sometimes (often enough for me to start this series) in those 3 minutes they manage to wreak havoc on the house, themselves or each other. And sometimes all three for extra credit.
To kick off, last week I emerged from the bathroom to find Crappy Baby in the kitchen…
He has dark chocolate powdery looking stuff all over his face, body and floor.
Only it isn't just chocolate. Oh no.
It is better.
Fortunately, he doesn't like it, "I no wike dis chocolate, Mama. Yucky." So I don't think he actually injested much.
Relieved, I clean him up.
And then make myself a cup of chocolate coffee.
Anything happen while you were in the bathroom? Or are you at the door banging stage?
He never did show any signs of having had coffee. I expected him to bounce off walls, talk like a squirrel and never sleep again but none of that happened.
The coffee was on the counter (within his reach!) because I had intended to make a mug earlier but got pulled into their kidsanity and never got the chance. I usually drink real coffee. But this stuff is gooooood. In a bad good way. Like a hot cocoa/coffee hybrid with tons of sugar and ingredients that aren't food. My very fast junkie fix on days I can't be bothered to make a pot of coffee.
Since I called this post an "episode" cut to Crapmmercial:
"Instant coffee, a busy mother's best friend. Just stir in the happiness! And how!"