Time to get in the bath!
He loves baths. Why is he screaming about this? What is going on with him? Is he not feeling well?
Fifteen minutes later…
Time to get out of the bath!
Oh, that is why he is screaming. Because there is something going on with him.
He is two.
—————
When his inner crazy two-year-old resurfaces like this it catches me off guard now. Which means we must be nearing the end of this stage!
I’d celebrate and stuff but I’ve already been the parent to a three-year-old so I know what happens next. What happens next is that on his third birthday my cuddly Mogwai will turn into a Gremlin. More or less. How do I stop him from growing up so fast? Should I stop feeding him after midnight?
Too late. Stripe is coming. Help.
Terrible 3′s was much more accurate for us too with Turtle. I thought 2′s were a breeze.
Catherine you are SO right, terrible 3′s is much for accurate. I always say I’d rather do 2 years of 2 if I could only skip to 4! I’ve almost survived 2 3 year olds (my middle daughter will be 4 in November) and 1 have 1 more to go. Then no more 3 year olds, yay! Except that I’m sure the teenage years are no fun either. LOL
You two are scaring me! My little boy will be turning 3 in a couple of weeks.
Oh honey – when they are 3, they start to really understand the concept of control, and they want ALL of it. Over every little thing. No, I** want to tie my shoes. No I*** want to make my sandwich. No I** Want to pour my cereal and spill an entire gallon of milk on the floor so it spreads under the fridge! Best advice I can give you is to pick your battles carefully or you will be at war FOREVER. Step back and unless there is a serious time or safety issue, let him have control.
My son turned 3 and wanted to do EVERYTHING by himself. Now that 4 is in sight he’s happy with helping…most of the time.
Absolutely! I let my 3-year old pick out what she wants to wear and half the time nothing matches. Heck, I even let her wear her pajamas out to run errands on days it just. not. worth. fighting with her. My husband just shakes his head, but I tell him I’ve learned to pick my battles.
yes, 3 was far worse than 2, and 4 has been picnic either! With his 5th bday coming up, I’m hoping we can take a break, ooof!
Ugh, 4 has been rough here, too!!! 2 is awesome, IMO!!
I will take 10 years of 2 and 3year old temper tantrums if I can skip the 14 year old attitude.
Amen to that!
oh yes – tantrums are a piece of cake compared to the sass I get from my tween. Oh my head.
Maybe it seems that way because you’ve forgotten. Not looking forward to a sassy teen, but living and hating the temper tantrum 3s and twice the terrible 2′s (twins). My life sucks eggs some days.
I called them the “terrible toddlers” because it lasted almost until my son was 4.
Fun times!
I now say it’s the terrible odds. 1,3, 5, 7, 9 and on and on until around 23 will all be horrible. Why did we have kids again? hahahaha!
I kept asking everyone what was going on when my oldest was 3 and a fe months and things got worse instead of better. I felt it was the best kept secret in parenting that 3 is really HARD. Then this mom of 5 is telling me she always referred to the Terrible Two’s amd the Trying Threes!! Yup, I also have to go through this again and again now that we are just coming out of it with the first one. Any tips on keeping sane?
“…best kept secret in parenting..” I love this! Haha! I said so many times “why didn’t anyone tell me how incredibly hard age 3 is!! We are right at 3 and a half now. Oh geez I hope this isn’t going to last much longer. I agree also that th teenage moms have it hard, I’m sure, but maybe they forgot what it’s like to have a toddler.
I have a toddler (2) and a teen (13) and let me tell you guys, they are both HARD! In fact, I think they have the same maturity levels some days:)
Yep, I have a 3yo girl, 4yo boy & 14yo boy. It’s a toss up who’s harder to deal with, the 3yo or the 14yo! My son is easy. 14yo is my stepson and there are days I’d like to ship him to his defunct mother! My daughter inherited all my bad qualities and just tries me to the end of the day! I think she will be the death of me! Lol. Love my kiddos though!
No, the teen years are no joke! I didn’t think I’d survive the terrible 3′s but I did…3 times! But the teens are killing me! 2 down, 1 to go!
Agree. Three sucked eggs. Not looking forward to going through it again (5 yo and a 1 yo). 2s were bad, but 3s were worse. The good news is that it only lasts for about 6 months…. give or take.
Really?? I am still waiting for my 4 year old to pass out of the phase. It’s like the tantrums will neeeeevvvvvvveeeeerrrrr end.
Mine grew out of the 3′s fairly quickly and lulled me into a sense of security. Now she turns 4 in a couple of weeks and it’s like she suddenly remembered she’s 3 and has turned into a terror again. Kicking tantrums and everything, which actually look hilarious but I can’t laugh until I leave the room.
My son was great through age 2… a few months before he turned three I remember thinking “what the hell do they call it the terrible 2s for… well maybe my sons just awesome…” then… he turned 3…. and everything was a fight. 4 was… about the same as 3… a little better than 3 but not much.. At 2 we had manners.. we said please and thank you… then it’s like he just FORGOT how to say either word. Luckily 5 has been pretty great…. we’ll see what happens with 6.
At three my sweetness and hugs toddler turned what could only be considered OCD; we ended an outing after he went ballistic when my hubby started the car engine before he(hubby) had completely buckled his seatbelt. We had to leave the house in a particular order, food was a huge control issue… I was sooo close to getting him professionally evaluated. Then 3.5-3.75… the boy chilled out, bit by bit. Life moved along. I’m really enjoying 8 these days, and praying for patience and maturity (mine and his) once we get to 13.
Just spit water everywhere! I know exactly what you mean…the gremlin jokes are abundant in our home! Especially don’t feed them after midnight! Classic! Well done, well done!
Yep. Nobody warns you about three. “Terrible Twos” my ass.
Yeah, but what I need to know now is what happens AFTER three? I’m so OVER three.
The Fucking Fours, that’s what.
^haha!
F’ing awful fours, it’s known as in our house.
I just DIED laughing, Jill. Thanks for giving all of us parents of toddlers hope. ;/
I just died at the fucking fours comment. I am now going to call everyone I know so they can laugh too. I am currently firmly mired in the twos and you are not giving me hope here.
Haha! Amen!
(But I agree with some posts below: the 3′s are the worst!)
LMAO!!!
Lol!!! I actually called a child behavior specialist when my daughter was four. I said we were having issues and she asks how old my daughter was and I said 4. She goes oh, you have a fucking four year old. That’s your problem. LOL.
OMG ….hahahahaha
4 was much easier in our house. Until Pre-k started and my kids learned bad habits and expressions from other kids. Curse those other kids! Anyway, 4 is easier. 7 is when there seems to be internal struggles for independence and outward defiance, yet lots of crying over little things because life seems to be ever changing and demanding!
I posted this at the same time as others called it the f*****ing 4′s! Hilarious! Depends on the kids I guess.
ahhh yes, the rude 7′s!!!! Seriously, my 7 year old seems to forget all the manors i spent the last 7 years teaching him! He speaks to everyone like they are lower then him!!!!
Oh good, I am glad I am not the only one with a 7 yr old with a superiority complex! He change back and forth from cute and cuddly to gremlin in record speed.
Mine is going to be 9 in october. The 7′s sucked too. I agree they’re like gremlins. Cute and cuddly one second and then they forget every last manner you ever taught them, and at 8 they even develop a rather advanced sense of humor. Advanced RUDE sense of humor. Gee 9 what will it bring…
This is so true. Two was easy. Three sucks.
… and then there are some terrible tweens and teens for some kiddos.
I once read (Rants from Mommy;land, I think) that 3′s are 2′s with INTENT. Absolutely true.
Terrible 3′s here too. Two was easy:/
Now I’m scared with you all alluding to the Terrible 3′s… what is this reference to gremlins and feeding them after midnight!?!?!?! Shock and horror all over my face
Amy, it’s referencing the old Gremlins movie where if Gizmo was fed after midnight he could turn from adorable and sweet to evil.
And don’t get them wet!!!
It’s the language. I could deal with crying and rolling around on the floor, but once they develop a vocabulary and figure out that words can be weapons, all bets are off!
It’s the keeping them out of bright light rule I have a problem with – I’m practically booting mine out the backdoor into the yard most mornings.
Me too. Once the grass is dry, to avoid that mess, our the door they go. It’s the only way I can get anything done.
How do you make them stay out there? My 8 year old sits on the doorstep until I let him come in and the toddler, if I’m not out there, doesn’t play by herself, she wants him at least around the yard somewhere, so all she does is cry. Outside is worse than inside, and I can’t let them sit inside all day!
I have two boys, 3 and 1.5. They dig in the dirt, bring me weeds and bugs. They kick balls and chase the dog. They stand at the fence like creeps and watch the neighbors now their lawns. They get dirty but they aren’t up my butt so I don’t care. They’ve just always loved it. Keeping them inside is a challenge.
nooooooooo I don’t want to hear it. I have a wonderful happy giggley one year old. Time to stop his growing up now!!!!
I feel the same way. Mine will turn 2 in a couple of weeks and I keep looking for the pause button. But I’ve been saying that since she was 7 months old and it keeps getting better. We may have pushed it to the limit now, though. I will miss my cuddly one year old!
LOL @ “Stripe is coming!”
Oh yeah! My son was a total angel … he is 3 years and 3 months… gave up his nap a couple weeks ago awnd now he is crazy. Crazy! I don’t understand where my sweet guy went! Your blog has saved my sanity! My husband and I now read it every night after the kids are in bed. Cant wait for your book, pure genius!
Book? There’s going to be a book? Where do I sign up? For 10 copies?? Every mother I know *needs* to see these hilarious cartoons! I’ve been loving this blog for a while now and want to share the love! And the laughs!
Here’s where she posted about it: http://crappypictures.com/2012/06/i-have-news.html
3′s are the worst thing ever. My son is a complete crazy, mean, psycho demon child. He used to be the sweetest thing EVER.
I hope that 4′s bring some relief…I want my little lovey boy back!!!
4 was better than three, for a while. But then 4 and a half came
I hear 5 is good. Keep hope alive!
The twos were kinda hard and started at 18 months. Around 2.5 we were good to go-things got better. At 3, we reverted back to twos but worse. It eased up as we neared 4. Even at 4 it can be trying. He will be 4.5 soon so I am hoping for more sunshine in my boy, but then the girl will be turning 3 next year so… And she is already “No, I do it self”, but acutally accomplishes the tasks she wants to do herself.
I’m sorry! Everyone is commiserating here, but your post actually made me wince. I’ve taken care of lots of kids, and I’m totally convinced that three is the worst. I’ve always been able to manage it, because three-year-olds concentrate their vitriol on their parents (the force of Ultimate Control that they *must* fight against with crazy venom). Well, mine is 2 3/4 now. He’s a busy little dude, and runs like the Flash with no concern for his safety, but I’m waiting for my gentle, polite, kind child to turn three. You can’t see it coming! One day you need an exorcist. Have faith; one of the worst three-year-olds I ever met is now a ten-year-old who I adore and whose company is a total pleasure.
Oh man, the 3′s are the worst. The terrible 2′s were a piece of cake in comparison.
Threes.. way worse. I’m starting to think that Four isn’t getting much better.
Mine still does that and he’s nearly 4!!!
I now have a 7 year old, a 3 year old and a 1 year old and I am completely convinced that it just gets harder every year. At 6 I was warning people “nobody tells you how tough 6 is; I just want you to be prepared.” But I feel the same way about 7 right now. I think I felt that way at 4 and 5, too. It’s just hard.
Oh god… after reading this I just lost the will to live.
I seriously laughed out loud Hannah, to which my 7 yr old wondered what so funny. I don’t dare tell him! My MIL grew up always hearing terrible 7′s, and that 2 was a breeze. I didn’t appreciate this at the time when my son was 2, and thankfully I would still agree that for HIM, 7 is better. BUT I see other 7 yr olds and fear what still may be to come!
Hahhahahaha, laughed my butt off at your comment Hannah. And I HAVE to put my two cents in: it appears that WHATEVER age a mother has her child at is “the worst” so far as the comments go on here.
I figure: it’ll always be “hard”; but the bigger they get, the more fun and complicated crafts they can do!
Ahh, a silver lining. I look forward to the day when my kids will be able to follow directions for a craft without having a meltdown.
Mine just put together a Lego project without a meltdown and mostly solo. Finally!
Funny… I was just thinking the same thing about the “terrible TENS”!!! We still have pretty much the same bathtime ritual…
So I guess it only gets better when the move out! :/
Ummmmm….as the mother of three grown kiddos, 37, 32, and 21….2 boys and a girl…Good Luck getting the boys to Move Out!!!! Most of my friends with similarly aged offspring have had the same problem!! Sorry, but it’s the truth.
I’ve heard unplugging the Playstation and charging rent works sometimes
JK – Man it’s tough out here as an adult! I’m 31 and there are quite a few times my husband and I have been tempted to move back in with parents. If only we could sell our house for anything close to it’s worth *sighs*
I haven’t got that far yet (twins are 18 months old today), but so far for me it gets easier all the time, even while there are new challenges.
twins are different! That first year is so difficult that anything after that is a breeze! My twins are 3 1/2, and they are ‘easier’ than they were as newborns, but three does bring some different challenges!
Two was great… three is horrible so far.
Time for another baby???
Someone once told me… “Terrible twos? that’s nothing.. wait until the TYRANNICAL THREES!”
Only a 15 minute bath? Bathtime = mommy time, so I leave my kids in there as long as possible. I even add more water to keep them in the tub longer.
My son is coordinated (18 months) enough now that I bring a book in to read out loud while he wears himself out with splashing
He has become a walking tape recorder tho, so pretty soon I’m going to have to switch from steamy romances (hey, I don’t read ALL the parts out loud!) back to kids books 
*snicker*
Now that I have a two year old again, I remember how much I liked it. Well, aside from the sudden head spinning. Three? I’m not looking forward to doing THAT again at all. Three suuuuuuuucked,
Stripe is coming <–awesome!
I'll take a 2yo over a 3yo or a 4yo. Hoping 5 is better – too bad it's 9 months away.
Oh no, I hate hearing this. I was just saying last night that I wish my sweet 1.5 year old could stay this age forever…she’s so sweet and so fun right now!
Btw, LOVE the Gremlins reference. I definitely had a Gizmo doll growing up but my brother was a fan of Stripe so he ruined it
He even had Stripe on his birthday cake one year!
Oh man, I just sent my husband off to the doctor because I was sure there was something wrong with my son, and now I know it’s just that he’s almost two! I guess that was a wasted copay. Now I’m really scared for three…
What were the symptoms you were worried about? I’m curious now!
Oh man, I just sent my husband off to the doctor with my son because I was sure there was something wrong with him (son, not husband), and now I know it’s just that he’s almost two! I guess that was a wasted copay. Now I’m really scared for three…
I am pretty sure at one point we were talking to the Dr about the head banging… she assured us he wont hit it hard enough to do damage… I am guessing all the comments about 4′s mean’s that there really is not brain damage and it’s just because he is four.
my 7 yr old still does this with baths – it’s a fight to get her into one, and another one to get her out! “I don’t like baths” “I love baths – I don’t want to get out!” drives me crazy!!!
I hear that. When my oldest son was three, I called him a threenager. My youngest is two, and yes, he’s sometimes terrible, but I’ll keep it as long as I can because I know the threenager comes next
Oh, yes, they misremembered twos and threes. I loved my two. I would have gladly paid money to any random stranger on the street to take my three most days of the week.
I have three girls. 8, 5 and 10 months. My second one was rough from about 18 months on. She had a very serious case of the “me do its.” She’s still VERY independant, and we have all learned to ask before helping her. Five is my favorite age. Its when they emerge from the fog of terrible two’s, tyrranical three’s and fearsome four’s and you get your first glimpses of the rational human they will become. Hang in there. Then they hit seven and its all emotions and independance as mentioned above. Good times!
Well put. So that means when my son turns 5 I have about 2 good years of enjoying his childhood…not long enough.
My two are very nearly 6 and 7 years old now and we STILL have this conversation for every bath and every shower!!!
D
5 was worst. It is like a preview of puberty.
This happens often in my house. Apparently bath water is made of acid and boogie men :s My husband calls them the threatening 3′s. My son went through his terrible 2′s starting at around 18 months and compared to how he is now, that was a breeze.
I joke that between 1st child and mother, one of us almost didn’t live past the 3s, but I’m thoroughly enjoying 5!
I did ask the yet-angelic 2nd child, as he was nearing the end of his twos “Hey dude,” yes? “don’t turn 3, k? promise?” okay.
So far, he’s kept his end of the bargain. Or else my expectations from #1 were stretched beyond #2 ability to come up with somethin new!
My 2 year old says no to things that don’t even effect her. She sees strangers in the store and says “No she’s touchings that! No she’s looking at you!” or she’ll see a a sign and say “No that’s a baby!” when clearly it is, I don’t know what her problem is with any of these things, what a nut!
Now, this is JUST a thought, but did you correct her when she was learning her words by saying “No, that’s a —-” ? I’m catching myself doing that, and so it COULD just be the way she things sentences start. Or she just could be 2 and loves the word “no”, who knows!
My 2yo says “no” to everything he sees as well. NO car, NO tree, NO bus, NO mommy. I guess is part of the 2′s and completely normal.
After reading all this I’m not looking forward to the 3′s
Think too someone asked how you dont go mad in this stage, you learn to laugh like crappy babys mum. Someone called their child a midget terrorist. I call mine bezerkas
So true. We called it ‘”Threeteen”. 2′s were great-such little loves. But it’s allllll downhill from there. The 7 year old must be right on schedule-asked to carry a box of tissues upstairs: “My life is so HARD!”. The 4 year old today at a playdate for kids AND me: “Mom, can you leave now? I just want you to go.” So fun….
My toddler does this with baths too. Even more so when she calls “Hep! Hep!” because she’s trying to get out on her own without success but when you go to help her out she screams “Noooooooooo!” Yay, terrible twos.
I will say that I was disappointed that this story didn’t end with a “Baby Ruth” in the tub/. That is how mine always does.
Better a Baby Ruth than a Chocolate Milk Shake
I just laughed so hard i woke the baby. We had a chocolate milkshake in the tub a few weeks ago courtesy of the 2 year old. Not pretty.
With you on the trouble three’s we totally by-passed the two’s do miss the cuddles though.
Mmm hmm. Yep. You know, I hate to be a downer and all, but then there’s 4…
I am loving the 2s more than I ever expected. Every month she gets easier. I’ve got a new baby due in a month and am scared to death because babyhood was SO HARD. I know at some point the “easier” turns to “harder” but when… I’m holding out for 13.
OMG I MISS TWO’s… I think? It’s all a little hazy…. we are just shy of turning in to 5 here…. right now it’s cry baby stage. Cry when this is no, cry when this is no… I will. not. give. in. Funny though, I still have this problem with the bath…. does not help we never have time for them. Luckily, we do not do it super often as he has very sensitive skin. Too many baths = too much eczema at our house.
I feel like it will be embarrassingly obvious once someone tells me, but I don’t get “stripe is coming.” Anyone?
Stripe was the really evil one (my gremlin 101 is not perfect but I belive they turn in to mogwhys (sp?) wich are bad and roudy and cause problems)…. super bad and in to everything. If you have the hub, you can catch Gremlins they are showing it all the time right now.
The mogwai’s are the cute cuddly little guys with the big eyes. They turned into nasty naughty gremlins if you didn’t carefully follow the care instructions. I *think* bright light killed the gremlins and water made them multiply! Stripe was the baddest gremlin of them all. The movie’s from 1984, so we’re all dating ourselves here!
I have three boys (ages 6, 5, and 2). Here’s my experience.
age 1: “Aww, my sweet baby is growing up, and he’s so fun!”
age 2: “Wait, where did my sweet baby go, and WHAT in the heck is that whiney, shrilly, blood-curdling screamy noise?
age 3: “Okay, the only possible answer is that a monster has taken my kid hostage. Am I EVER going to see my son again? I miss him!”
age 4: “Still working out some emotional outburst knock-down, drag out time out kinks, but I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel…”
age 5: “Whoa… WHO is THIS kid? He’s funny, creative, charming, polite… BY FAR, the coolest person I’ve ever met in my life. How did that happen? Wait… I did it? OMG… I DID IT! I got my sweet boy back!”
(we love 1 and 5) The way I figure it, we get a little glimpse of how cool our kid will be at 1, and hopefully, that gets us through to 5, when they return to us again ; )
Yay, I hope you’re right, as I have a 4 1/2 year old that has glimpses of loveliness but mostly battles me. Definitely 4 has been the worse for me, but I heard they get a big boost of testosterone between 4 & 5 which causes a lot of the problems (girls too). Would love to have my boy back.
My one year old is gorgeous, maybe he always will be. Maybe…
I’ll take a terrible two over a terrible teen any day of the week. I have never been so tempted to drink or take Heroin, I’ve even thought of jumping out of a moving vehicle to get out of the car with one. The stupid 20′s aren’t much better. They still do stupid things but you can’t ground them for it. The scary thing is, I have good kids. They don’t drink, do drugs and are both in college…I can’t even imagine what the parents of delinquents go through. I would rather listen to a toddler screaming noise than a teen’s smart mouth, know it all, arrogant rants…just saying. I believe I have a mild case of PTSD…I wish I drank, it would help.
I know what you mean Kaye although I hope you’re exaggerating slightly about your feelings, do you have support around you?… I feel like I have some PTSD after dealing with my 16 yr old last year… luckily things have settled a little bit now. Teenagers are such a huge worry, and you have no control any more. And I have 2 more to go
/ Taking each day at at time, and learning to let go. All the best!
Mine #5 kiddo skipped the terrible twos and threes and is an absolutely insane five year old instead. I think it’s worse…because now she’s articulate. We try to joke her out of it and she says, “Your jokes are NOT very funny” or she tells us, “You don’t even care about your poor child!” Geez…
“You don’t even care about your poor child!” hahhaha, oh DEAR! That is funny! And terrible. I’m sorry. But still, funny. You’ll have to get the book “My Quotable Kid” and write some of those down (and then read them at her wedding!)
my little girl is 22 months and is a drama queen. she is sooo stubborn too. she stayed up until past 6 am this morning. grrrrrrr!!!!!
I’ve seen all these ages, but not with my two. Although they are now 27 and 31, those years they were small children were the best of my life. I smiled at every thing they did, laughed at every disaster, and other than the occasional “lets hide so mommy has a freakin’ heart attack when she can’t find us” episodes those years are to be cherished.
I laugh at all these stories because they are so darn funny, I only hope that each of you also are enjoying them to the fullest. They will never come again. <3
my mum says that too. I know they were also hard for her, but looking back she says they are the most “cherished” years. So much work and so exhausting on so many levels, but rewards that will not be repeated…my child will only be two for a year. And when I am not calling her a bezerka and feeling like falling off my trolley I love it. It might be to do with the fact I know she is my last. I have four and there was a big gap before I had her.
Then of course, come the the Fightin’ Fours. Or was it just my girl?
Oh i have the fightin fours, my DS seems to go through stages slightly earlier, so they started around 3 1/4, although the same year he turned 3 he has had to deal with earthquakes which caused a broken house forcing a move to a new house and a baby sister :/
In our house, it was the Throttle ‘em Threes.
My almost-3-year-old does this EVERY NIGHT.
Seriously, she loves her bath, she has tons of toys for her bath, and she doesn’t want to get out once the traumatic washing of the hair and body is done with, but when we say it’s time for her bath it’s like we’ve told her she’s been sentenced to the rack.
Seriously one of my favorite posts! This is so true right now with my 2 yr old and I have a 4 yr old so I know what’s coming….sigh. Thank goodness for alcohol after the kiddies go to bed. My favorite time of day!
OH YES! It is the 3′s DEFINATELY and the closer they get to 4 the WORSE the get……. apparantly they start to get a wee bit better now though… :\ I have heard that at 3/4 they are like mini teenagers and full of testosterone.
We call them the “Throttle me Threes” My LO is almost 2.5 and he is a doll now for the most part. Sure he throws things and stuff but we are working on that. He’s just so cute that it’s ok. He passed the phase where he would just scream for no reason. I hated that. Not looking him turning 3. My older one was ok at 3 but I was focused on his newborn brother at the time. LOL.
Mine are now 13 and 20, but you’ll never forget the early years and it’s easier to see the humor from a safe distance. For me, parenting has been like riding a roller coaster while blindfolded. There’s lots of fun stuff along the way, but you never know when something scary is coming.
Wow… the perfect simile
I’m just starting and have the butterflies in my stomach as we’re heading up… and up… and up….
Well jeez, these comments are good birth control if I ever read some.
Threenagers. I got one.
I think the reason they don’t want to take a bath is because they don’t like getting out of the bath
Claire Dederer says spending lots of time with a three-y-o is like being continuously in the middle of a bad break up….
Oh goodness, three has been SO MUCH more difficult with my son than two was… His verbal skills are great, so on top of being Mr. Bossypants, he’s turning into quite the negotiator… and he STILL does this with the bath!!
I met a woman from Holland the other week. I don’t remember the actual phrase they use in Holland (I don’t speak Dutch) but the literal translation was. “I am two so I say ‘no’”
I think this a very accurate description. Also, why do we call our kids terrible? That’s mean.
The kids aren’t terrible, the age is
Everyone here expresses the hope that one day they will get their lovely wonderful kiddo back….
Depends on the kid I think. I have a 4 yo and also an almost 3yo. Some aspects of the three’s were better than the two’s, some were worse. 4′s have been much better! : )
I’m not sure what I would rather do, toddlers or teens. I thought it was over…then the hormonal teens hit. One of us is not going to make it through this…
ROFL…..
this scene must’ve been shot in our bathroom. this evening around, say… bath time. not kidding. this is exactly what happened with my two year old boy today. like so many other days…
Oh, it’s not just 2… my 7 yr old still fusses!
Seriously, my 10 year old is the same way with showers! Pitches a fit about getting in, then we can’t get him out.
Uh-oh. My son is turning 3 next month…
Kate
http://www.justdelivered.net
Um, when do they gain some awareness of their environment and stop thinking it’s funny to 1)Run like crazy towards the street, 2)play for 5 seconds on the small playset and then run like crazy for the scary big-kids playground, 2)Take off for the deep pool when you’re already playing in the shallow one and you just wanted him to practice jumping to you?
My kiddo is 18 months this week, and already giving me grey hairs. He doesn’t argue (although he did tell me what snack he wanted for the first time yesterday…), he doesn’t throw a tantrum. He just RUNS……….
sounds like you’ve got a bundle. Some are just like that. Some aren’t at all. A friend who had a child who was like that said it wasnt until he was 6, when he started to get about listening because mum sometimes has good advice about safety etc. You’ll prob have tro come up with some tricks to manage them. Think another friend she used the statues game to teach about “stop”. They would play it at home, you know, run jump etc then “STOP” and teach them about freezing still. Good luck. My youngest, of four, she’s a bit of a runner but mostly just because she likes the action of running.
I always say: Terrible Twos…Terrifying Threes!!
I have 2 boys, ages 4 (will be 5 next month) and 2…I can’t wait until we get out of these stubborn, severely independent, tantrum-filled years…only 16 years to go!! *sigh*
That’s our house! Except my daughter has been doing it regularly about four times a week, since age one and she’s now almost Four! It is usually accompanied by accusations that we are plotting to wash her hair, which she dreads.
She has reached a delightful stage though now where she’ll chuck a complete ‘nana about something – I look incredulously at her, or sometimes start launching into an “Excuse me young lady!” lecture – and then she will crack up laughing like a mad person and say “Just kidding Mummy.”
Hilarious! Crazy kid.
I believe the term is “Threenager.”
I have one who is very nearly two, and she is still just cute and funny. Sure, she has strong opinions but in someone so tiny, you can have a sense of humor about it.
When my older one was three I wondered what I was doing wrong…
My 2.5 year old took a deep breath and then screamed “OUUUUTTT!” for about 37 minutes in the car the other day. Maybe she’ll be swimmer.
I’ve been trimming her nails REALLY close to try to keep her from getting bigger. I figure if it works for Bonzai trees…
Hilarious!
oh, my… my daughter is 21 months old and she’s been in the “Terrible two’s” for at least 4 so this isn’t very encouraging. not at all. (but you are hilarious as always!)
This happens every night with my 2-almost-3 year old! Every, single, night…nooo, not the bath tub, its awful, and then when its time to get out…nooo, I don’t want to get out, just a little longer, etc. Two year olds apparently LOVE the status quo.
To be fair, so do I! I’d rather stay up and surf the net than go to bed, but once in there I don’t want to get up…
I’ve obviously warned my 2yo often enough about not touching the hot tap or hot water while the bath is running – she tried to drag me out of the shower to safety the other day saying “Hot! Hot! Hot water!”
yup, that was my evening exactly.
Thanks for this. I have been trying to figure out why my little guy suddenly hates baths. He turns 2 tomorrow, so that explains it.
My favorite was when I would totally give him control of the situation (Do you want to go to the library or not? it’s up to you) and he would melt into a pile of tears anyway….finally saying “I want to but I don’t want to! I can’t decide!!” Seriously? If I had know that I would have just stuck your butt in the car seat and gone.
um. my seven year old still does that. it’s so annoying.
uh oh – we’ve had this exact same scenario for the past 6 months and he doesn’t turn two until next week… it gets worse?!
So funny- My Mom and I were just discussing how my 2 yr old does this *seconds* before I opened your page to see that you wrote about it! It’s good to know this is typical.
LOVE your blog and cannot wait for the book!
Two was tough, three was worse, four was bad, but four and a half is good! Hold on to hope!
This. Yes! Thanks to you, I will have a slightly easier time laughing off “Stripe’s” disturbing antics.
Dressing room at Target today: “That doesn’t look good. That doesn’t look good ON YOU MOMMMMY!” (Be sure to read in the voice of demonic possession he used at the time.)
Haha! This was exactly my two-year-old’s bath tonight, except the “NOOOO!” text box took up the entire picture because he threw the biggest tantrum in the history of the world. Getting in AND out AND one in between. However, I am glad to know that this is a 2-year-old thing. At least there’s an explanation.
Hahaha… 3s suck, then 4s really stink… I’ve already told my 4 yr old, who has 2 older siblings, he’s not allowed to be rotten anymore when he turns 5.
I experience this nightly with my 2 year old!! This is my 1st go around with a child and now we are experiencing screaming and I am not sure if it’s when he doesn’t get his way or even when he is getting his way. It’s like he can’t make up his mind?!?! Anyone go through this that can offer word sof advice?
Well, crap. Two’s have been a Beeotch so far, so I’ve been hoping he’s just getting it all out now. It’s like Dr. Jekkly Mr. Toddler. Now you guys are telling me it gets worse??!!
Jessica- all I know is it’s normal. And that’s how I know my 2 year old is tired and ready for a nap or bedtime. If he decides he wants something then doesn’t want it about 368 times in a row, and screams both when I give it to him and when I take it back. It’s frustrating, but after the first few “yes no” answers I simply let it go and start counting down the hours until bedtime!
Terrible twos…..Tyrannical Three’s!!! LOL
4 and 5 year old boys are the worst!! I found that in most ways, once they get into school full-time, things settle down. Plus they are more tired to battle over every little thing and you are more rested to nip it in the bud!
Ack! Y’all are scaring me for 7. My 6.25 has been on a steady road of improvement throughout life. Yes, 3 and 4 were hard… but at least he could talk to us/tell us what the problem is. Of course, we have very suddenly entered the phase of: “I think my tooth is loose. Everything is wrong because my tooth is loose. I can’t go to camp because my tooth is loose. I can’t eat anything because my tooth is loose. I need to watch tv because my tooth is loose.” I don’t even think the tooth is loose.
wait what’s coming next? we are in exactly the same stage which i thought was the worst. what do you mean something else is coming next? it’s already bad. Me: Bella?? B: NO. Me: What??? I didn’t even ask you about anything. B: NO. No-nononononono. are you saying there is something worse coming?
Absolutely love this cartoon – just about says it all! (Saw tweet from ToddlerCalm – will add you to my blogroll)
I must still be in my terrible two’s. I hate getting into the shower, and I hate getting out. I’m 53.
OMG thank you for the Gremlin reference. AWESOME!
Uh oh. Did you forget that there were THREE rules? Never expose them to bright light, never feed them after midnight, and never get them wet. Giving him a bath was the mistake. It causes them to multiply! I know this must be true, because I gave our first child baths and now I have nine of them!
Three words: Louise Bates Ames. She writes these tiny little books that, if you had an hour (ha!) you could finish one. They’re not about discipline, more they’re about age-appropriate behavior. Three was HORRIBLE. I’m a single parent and mine’s 11 (no picnic either, btw…sigh…) but when he was 3 I remember banging my head on the headboard, crying, thinking I was raising a sociopath. Then someone turned me on to those books. I srsly cried with relief. He was so normal someone wrote a book about it! Three was horrid, absolutely horrid. My friend told me “4 is the reward for not killing them at 3″ and she was mostly right– my kid is a very hard-to-raise child, but 4 was WAY better, by comparison!
Yes! “Your Three-Year-Old”, “Your Four-Year-Old”, etc…they are old books, but so good!
These comments are super scaring me, because I have a one year old and she already throws tantrums and is not remotely affectionate, despite our being attachment parents, co-sleeping, etc. If they get LESS lovey at 2 and 3, I think I may have to adopt another dog, LOL!!!
I’ve been doing the pinterest glow stick bath thing. They run to the bath for glow sticks
. To get them out I start draining the water so they get really cold and then they come out very willingly 
The bit at the end there killed me.
*RUN* *HIDE* THREE IS COMING!!!!!!!!!!! *screams in home alone fashion*
I have been through 3 three times and it wasn’t fun any of the times. I wanted to send them all to an island and get them back at about 5.. because after 3 is the talk your ear off 4…
Isn’t that the truth?! Mine has hit it pretty bad lately. You might enjoy my recent post about it…
http://fromhomewithlove.wordpress.com/2012/08/05/the-dohnwannas/
Look forward to 4 thru 7. They’re the best years ever. They want to show you off and marry you. They like holding your hand and will give up kisses ANYWHERE. Baths are no problem and they are the ultimate helpers. (And they are really big enough to help!) It’s all downhill from there: http://www.urbanmommys.com/2012/06/04/growing-growing-gone/#more-603
The person who coined the term terrible twos tragically lost their child around two and a half. I know this because there’s no way they could have thought two was terrible if they ever experienced a three year old.
I know. I can’t decide if I want them to grow-up already or stay babies forever. Sometimes I wish I could re-wind my youngest back to four years old!
I have a tween (13 in 2 months) and a 7 yr old. In some ways it does get better ladies. Mostly you just change one thing for another. I have to say though, not being to far off of the 3′s and now facing the teen years is daunting. I would pay anyone for that 3 year old again. My sweet, kind little boy is now a rude, back-talking butt-head. EVERYTHING is someone else’s fault. 7 is proving to be a pretty good year; only arguments are about her horrid room and bedtime. Let’s all cheer up shall we, just have to make it to adulthood, when hopefully we’ve done well and they are great, fun people (that you actually want to hang with).
I don’t know how the human race survives the age of 3. It made me want to eat my young. My second is only 7 months but I am thinking about boarding school for that year. Get him back when he turns four and becomes human again.
Have a teen and a tween of my own, and have managed a home daycare for 14 years. Trust me, honey, the 2′s are NOTHING compared to the 3′s.
Bath safety is important for people of all ages from children and the elderly. These products decrease the chances of falls in the bathroom.
I love LOVE all your “geeky” references. The mogwai/gremlin comparison made me laugh out loud at work. Thank you so much for blogging; these make my day and help me keep sanity during the toddler years.
Haha we jokingly call them the “Terrific Twos” and the “Thrilling Threes.”
We’re expecting another one at the end of October and our youngest will turn 3 in January… I told my husband, “We’ll have TWO WHOLE YEARS with NO two-year-old in the house!!!” (We have a 5yo and an almost 4yo– our three oldest are all 16 months apart, so we’ve only had a 4 month reprieve up till now…).
So, if my little Monster started his terrible twos at 16 months, do I get to finish all these vile toddler tantrum years early? Please, oh please, oh please?
With my oldest, the 2s were nice, 3s were even better. It was after 4 and now at 5 1/2 almost 6 that her head spins around and she vomits emotion all over us. However, she had some developmental delays, mostly with communication, so all the problems about those ages hit later. Oy, the drama now is insane. She is a very imaginative little girl and sometimes a mere word from her little brother ruins her imaginary world (we refer to her living in Strawberry Shortcake Land) and she melts down into a screaming, crying puddle of goo.
My second just turned 3 and we are now in the Terrifying 3s for sure. His 2 year old year was adorable. He was sweet, helpful, doting on both his sisters, very verbal, all together a joy. NOW, he lashes out, is defiant, throws nonsensical tantrums, and more. Heavens to Betsy, this is his hardest yet.
All that being said, I am pretty sure my youngest is going to give me the biggest run for my money. The first two are just the warm-up act. At 14 months, she is waaaaay too smart and observant. Freaking Sherlock Holmes (the badass Robert Downey Jr version) in a toddler. She’s a petite, sweet, smiley little girl with captivating blue eyes, which she will use to mesmerize, distract, and disarm you, and no regard for safety or the willingness to learn from her mistakes. (Actually, I think she understands the lessons, she just chooses to ignore them.) Dangerous…
Ugh, my little boy is soooo 2 right now it’s ridiculous! This scenario unfolds every other night like clockwork. I want to keep him small and snuggly, but I want the NOOOO’s to go away soon.