We all have blind spots in our knowledge.
I remember the day that I found out music isn’t played on a ‘jutebox’, it is played on a ‘jukebox’. (This was when I was ten. Okay fine, it was two years ago.)
Anyway, when I was pregnant with Crappy Boy we got a bag of lemons…
Crappy Papa’s parents have a lemon tree. One year, they brought us a bag of lemons.
A huge grocery bag full of lemons.
I can handle using one or two lemons. Lemon garlic chicken, lemon squeezed over seafood and cut up lemons in drinking water. A couple lemons are handy to have.
But an entire bag overflowing with lemons? What do I do with these?
Fortunately, Crappy Papa grew up having a lemon tree. The same exact one that his parents still have. He’ll know what to do to use them up.
Lemonade! Of course! We’ll make lemonade.
So we start juicing the lemons. We only have one juicer so we take turns.
Turns out, lemons are small.
It takes a ton of lemons to make a tiny amount of juice.
Look at us. We’ll be great parents. We’re literally making lemonade from lemons.
So we keep juicing. And juicing. And Juicing.
Okay, mostly Crappy Papa does. Hey, I’m pregnant. It is difficult to get close enough to the counter to have leverage.
Finally, we have an entire pitcher full of freshly squeezed lemon juice!
Pure lemon juice.
Now we just add sugar!
We add a cup of sugar to the pitcher.
We’ll start with that and then taste it. I hope a cup wasn’t too much.
I taste it.
It is SO sour! It is horrible! More sugar.
So we add another cup.
Then I taste again.
Still, it is terribly sour. Not sweet at all! How can this be?
So we add yet another cup of sugar.
But there is so much sugar now that…
The sugar has sunk to the bottom and it isn’t dissolving.
Heating it up will help the sugar dissolve fully.
So we pour the whole pitcher full into a large pot. And put it on the stove.
Crappy Papa instructs me to stir it constantly. So I do.
Finally, all the sugar has dissolved!
It is perfect! Except it is hot.
So we pour it back into the pitcher and put it in the fridge to cool down.
Once it is cooled down, we fill two large glasses with our homemade lemonade.
It’s good! It’s really good!
So we each have another glass.
We are basically drinking lemon syrup. Two glasses each.
We start to feel funny.
In fact, we are totally high. Completely out of our minds and we don’t know why.
Wow, doing lemonade is fun!
Not fun anymore.
We spent hours laying on the couch trying to feel normal again. We drank water to try to “wash it out” and we ate protein. We even went for a walk. But we still felt like crap.
Buzzy and nauseated.
(I’m sure someone will ask how the baby in my belly reacted. No significant reaction actually. He never seemed to care what I ate.)
Several hours later we talk about it.
Wait. He doesn’t like lemonade now?
I thought he grew up making it. I thought he knew exactly how to make it.
Huh. Maybe we didn’t make it right….
It wasn’t until years later that we learned that the main ingredient in lemonade is actually WATER.
Have you ever had any blind spots?
I still make fun of his lemonade blind spot. How does someone who grew up with a lemon tree in their backyard not know how to make lemonade?
As for me, I grew up in the freezing midwest. No lemons there except the ones imported from the far away exotic lands of California and Florida. That’s luxury produce, people. You don’t make lemonade out of luxury produce. How was I supposed to know?
We have our own lemon tree now. Now we’re lemonade making pros. I’m serious. We’re professionals. We get paid for it. We made a batch last week and the kids sold it from the driveway. They made six bucks! We’re getting the whole neighborhood high! WEEE!
BOOK STUFF. In addition to the seven I mentioned yesterday, here are a few more really nice and generous people writing about the book today:
- MommyShorts (her story illustrated by me + book giveaway)
- JasonGood (interview where I was a smart ass)
- From Meredith to Mommy (review + book giveaway)
- Change-Diapers.com (review + book & shirt giveaway)
- FitForMoms (review + book giveaway)
- Snarkfest (book giveaway)
REVIEWS. Thank you so much for getting reviews up on the retailer sites! Here are the links to easily add yours if you haven’t and are willing: (Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Books A Million, Walmart, Indigo, Kobo, iBookstore & more.) Thanks! I owe you one.