The Gardening Bunny

Isn’t it funny how quickly your perspective can change?

This is what it was like all winter before we put in our garden:

crappy-pictures-gardening-1

And now, after our tomatoes are finally starting to ripen:

crappy-pictures-gardening-2

I hate those little garbage disposals. Each time a tomato is almost ripe, the next morning it will be gone. Eaten. Little shits.

Sure they are cute. But bunnies are cute because they are dumb.

 

————

No bunnies were hurt in the making of this post. Except maybe their feelings.

UPDATE: I built an ugly but functional chicken wire fence around the entire garden, stapled to the raised wooden beds at the bottom. By myself. In 100 degree weather. 94% because Crappy Papa said it was “too much work” and that I “wouldn’t actually do it”. Therefore, he can’t have any tomatoes.

Prior to the fence we used “spicy death” which is a hot pepper and blood powder which was supposed to make animals stay away. It didn’t. We also used a stinky rotten egg spray which was supposed to make animals stay away. It also didn’t. We put out cat and dog fur, peed on cat litter and even planted things that bunnies are supposed to hate. Nothing worked.

If they get through that fence somehow I’m going to sit up all night in a wooden rocking chair with a shotgun. While talking to myself. Except I don’t have a wooden rocking chair or a shotgun so I’ll just talk to myself. That should be scary enough. 

 

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164 Responses to The Gardening Bunny

  1. Haha cute. It’s like how I used to like other people’s kids before I had my own. :)

    • Lor i says:

      Haha. Actually I like other kids sometimes. They’re not used to being ornery and rude with me, so sometimes they do what I say. The first time. Without threats or cajoling or pleading or bribes. Yesterday another 3 year old helped me put together a do-it-yourself dinosaur while my 3 year old jumped on his bed and ran around the house. He didn’t even break down and cry when it got hard. He even asked me nicely to turn the screwdriver when he couldn’t do it. Mine would have said “YOU do it!”. It was surreal.

      • LilyT says:

        OMG Lor i, I hear you! It’s aggravating, too, when my kids will be calm, cooperative, and generally able to operate on a higher level when they are with other adults than their parents…

      • Gloria says:

        Totally hear you on this, only the word here is “deer” and hubby is swearing to take up hunting. No lilies or daylilies this year thanks to their use of our garden as a salad bar. Not to mention the damage to asters, hostas and raspberries. Deer may be harmed in the process, and I hope they taste good from all our organic efforts. Grrr.

  2. Barbara B. says:

    They will get under the chicken wire. Better get the shotgun ready.

    • Amy says:

      That’s what I was about to say. Unless you buried it 2 feet into the ground, they’re just going to go right through it.

      Have you tried human hair? Or is that just for deer?

      • momomom says:

        Crappy momma said her fence was “stapled to the raised wooden beds at the bottom”. That may actually work for rabbits…however deer are a different story.

      • Mike Hanig says:

        I believe the hair still needs to be attatched to the head when used (how angry at hubby)?
        We moved out here to be nearer the inlaws for my wifes sake. They (he ) had planted a grass area behind the house. The rabbits (same one?) came in. I was asked to put up a chicken wire fence, I did it. The rabbits learned to burrow under it. If you need instructions, I can now tell you how to electrify a fence.
        We only, occasionally find him in the back door in finest marksman like stance (at 93) and bb gun in hand now.

    • Julien says:

      You could borrow my dog. She just took down a squirrel a couple days ago. The squirrels have eaten every plum, persimmon, apple, pear and fig from the yard- and we have mature trees- pounds of fruit. They wait until it’s 90% ripe, pick it and eat one bite and then throw it on the ground to rot. The squirrel was going after the grapes when Aklea got it. I hope they think twice before munching any more of the plants. We too tried bells, reflective tape, netting the trees. Nothing works but a dog and a gun imho.

      (yeah, I’m mean to wish death on little critters. But I just want a *#^# plum, is that too much to ask?)

      • Rana says:

        It’s the way they get it *just* as it’s about to ripen, eat only one bite, and leave it there, that kills me. I mean, geez, eat the whole thing at least, you selfish little rodents! And it’s even worse when they do it to several in a row!

        • Krystina says:

          That sound like my toddler. Takes one bite and leaves it there. Takes one bite from every piece, cookie, sandwich, whatever.

    • Woolies says:

      Chicken wire didn’t work for us – but what DID work was this netting stuff that you can buy at home depot. For some reason, they don’t like it a lot. We only lost 2-3 tomatoes this season, as opposed to ALL tomatoes in the past 2 years.
      It also kept the birds away, mostly. Try it! Or, there is always the rocking chair and shotgun….

  3. Lana says:

    the best defense against rabbits is to start off with a raised garden bed minimum 2ft off the ground. Rabbits don’t climb. As others have stated the wire would have to be buried to work. Rabbits have even been known to tunnel to desired food.. think looney toons style. We live in Australia.. home of a very long rabbit proof fence that didn’t work..

    • Charity says:

      Interesting! We’re still a couple years away from a garden, so I’ll keep that in mind. Wouldn’t they just jump up?

      • Sarah says:

        I had rabbits who used to jump up into my lap or hop over low walls. I’d think they could hop up two feet. Maybe the wild ones don’t? Or maybe my pets just broke the ‘can’t jump up two feet’ rules?

        • Lana says:

          they probably can jump 2ft. Our beds are 65cm off the ground, unfenced on a hobby farm and the bunnies (we have one as a pet and 1000’s of wild ones) don’t bother trying to get them so that’s 2ft right? At any rate the higher the better, wouldn’t be any lower that’s for certain.

          • Lana says:

            converted it- 65cm = 25.6 inches.. so little bit over 2ft. anyways it seems high enough for the bunnies in oz. ;-)
            But I have absolutely no doubt that some would do it if they really wanted the goods. I don’t doubt you at all.

        • Chickenpig says:

          They can jump 2 feet onto something. However, like a cat, if they don’t have a place to land they won’t attempt. A raised bed with fence works against almost all intruders, and is easier on your back and knees to boot. I have a cat that kills squirrels and rabbits, so we haven’t had a problem gardening in pots.

      • E says:

        They’d also have to know there was food up there to jump. Like one would have to jump up there out of curiosity to be able to post it to their Facebook first. (although maybe they can smell the crispy goodness, dunno)

    • Tasha says:

      Yep, bunnies burrow, and will dig under fences to get to food (remember Peter Rabbit?). Gotta bury the fence or build a raised planter. Ours are 3 ft off the ground and we have yet to have a bunny get to them. :)

  4. Sarah says:

    I have a perfectly black thumb so rabbits would starve in my yard… My dad has an amazing garden, though – or would, of it weren’t for the deer!

    • Robonanny says:

      Ha! Me too except I say mine is brown – plants look at me and DIE. We just bought a place with a decent-sized garden. Guess that’ll be _his_ job then!

  5. Ginger says:

    LMAO Almost spewed out my coffee onto my work computer. Omg thank you for such an awesomely funny Friday morning post! Maybe a stuffed “dead-looking” bunny could work, could deter other bunnies from heading into your garden.

  6. Mel G says:

    Remember the movie Phenomenon? With John Travolta? He spent the whole movie trying to figure out how the rabbits kept getting through is fence….til he realised he’d built the fence around them, they had been on the inside all along!

  7. Jennifer W says:

    Bunnies make good stew with fresh veggies – so I hear.

  8. Dianne says:

    Hysterical! Thankfully our neighbor’s garden is tastier than ours and seems to keep the bunnies full :)

    • Darry says:

      Yeah, what works for us is not to mow the lawn too much. :) The bunnies are generally content with the juicy grass and nice tender clover in the lawn and mostly stay out of the garden. We’ve even imagined a small army of bunnies – each covering about 30 square feet or so – which would relieve us of the need to ever mow the lawn again.

  9. Dee B says:

    Love the post – know exactly what you mean. But in the bunnies’ defense, are you sure they’re the culprits? Tomato-eating in the dead of night sounds like classic raccoon behavior. Around here at least, the bunnies stick to greens, while raccoons and other animals go for the fruits. No barrier is going to keep out a determined raccoon – they climb, jump, dig, etc. – and they’re very smart. But we have had luck with the hot pepper sprays, applied directly to the fruit and reapplied after rain, etc.

    • Jenn says:

      Good point.
      And watch the dog, too. They love veggies fresh from the garden.

    • Koa says:

      I was thinking EXACTLY this! Raccoons!!!! They are the devil in fur, those raccoons. They’ve eaten everything at one point or another from our garden. And the buggers will eat it like, a day early, you know, just to get it right before you do. One night I heard a rustling at my second floor bedroom window … two had climbed up the porch and were trying to pry the screen off my window. If that gives you any idea how much I hate raccoons.

    • LilyT says:

      Our garden last year lost tomatoes to mice… we mulched heavily because of the climate and that made little homes where the mouse population exploded. They only ate the largest reddest ripest tomatoes :-(. This year no mice, because no garden… too hot.

    • Chickenpig says:

      I was thinking the same thing. We have a pet rabbit, and tomatoes are one of the things we aren’t supposed to feed her because they are toxic.

      • Briony says:

        Ah but according to my 11 year old nephew (and Amber), rabbits are dumb. So apparently they will eat stuff that’s bad for them, so toxicity wouldn’t deter them from eating Amber’s tomatoes.

        The same nephew had decided that my garden has too many plants that are bad for rabbits, and given I’m now looking after his little sister’s rabbit as they’ve moved into a flat, the rabbit is only let out on the grass in a run. Seems silly to me, but as 2 pet rabbits of theirs have already died this year, I don’t want to be responsible for the 3rd! But probably just as well, as my veg patch is already suffering decimation by slugs and snails.

  10. We have a ton of rabbits roaming our neighborhood – all the more reason to put off that garden I keep meaning to plant, right?

  11. Brooke says:

    Do you keep your dog outside at all? I leave two of them out at night to keep animals away. We have chickens, and there have been foxes and coyotes around the fence lately so I’m glad they’re there! Sadly for the bunnies though, they mostly get eaten by the dogs. But perhaps smaller (and less bloodthirsty) dogs could just chase them off at night? And if you don’t keep your dog out, do things like wooden owls help keep bunnies away?

    • Hannah says:

      Aaaahhhh, but on the up-side, no bill for feeding said bloodthirsty mutts! Win-win!
      My smaller (though no doubt equally bloodthirsty hound) has ingested no less than two bunnies and a guineapig plus assorted birds, lizards and has taste tested a cat or two in his time…he is like the Chuck Norris of cuddly critters. ;)

  12. Sarah says:

    Haha, hilarious. :D I do love your blog!

  13. Clare says:

    hahahaha! John the Rabbit (especially done by Elizabeth Mitchell) is one of our favorite songs. It is exactly this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yh5cQLyTwSo

  14. My favorite part of this entire post is the detail of the WOODEN rocking chair. I could totally picture it. Priceless. :) Good luck with the rabbits…our hastas have been lovely rabbit food this summer.

  15. Pam says:

    you can borrow my dog for a week. I have had the joy (?) of cleaning up 13 dead baby/juvenile bunnies this summer. Why mama bunny keeps putting her litters in my yard is beyond me.

    If you knew my dog this would be funnier.. she’s a very (not) ferocious looking beagle.

    • Amy says:

      My yorkie (12 lbs) is a known duck killer (huge muscovy ducks too… about twice the size of a mallard). He’s gotten close to a few rabbits, but thankfully, I’ve been able to stop him in time.

  16. Reminds me of when we had a raccoon that kept coming on our porch to eat our dog food, when our dog was a little puppy. My husband turned off all the lights and sat with his paintball gun sticking out a tiny bit- he got the raccoon, and we never saw him again. It probably hurt, and definitely scared him, but no perm damage. But guess you’d have to do that every day all day with that many rabbits!

  17. Jennie P. says:

    We live in Victoria, BC and although there are lots of rabbits around, deer are a major problem here. Seriously. Everybody talks about it, there are newspaper articles, municipal committees, the works. The garden stores up here carry a product called Bobex. Works like a hot damn. Maybe this would work for the bunnies too? http://www.bobbex.com/products/bobbex-deer-

  18. Liz says:

    I was sooo mad at the bunnies about our torn up flower bulbs. Then I spotted the deer chowing down on the neighbor’s flowers. Ah, sorry bunnies!

  19. Julie S says:

    Irish Spring. Grate it around the area and the animals can’t stand the smell of it and stop eating your veggies. And it’s so strong, you may stay away from the garden too…

  20. Celeste O says:

    lol I raise rabbits so this made me laugh out loud. Shoot the rabbits or get a big dog. If you shoot the rabbits they taste yummy.

  21. Angela says:

    Just wondering where you came up with the idea to pee on cat litter? LMAO

    We have a full organic garden here. It’s not enough to just make a fence…you have to have the top covered as well (ours lifts off and we can lean in). It also helps to plant a bunch of herbs around. Last year, our lettuce and broccoli and cauliflower were eaten relentlessly. And then we planted our herb garden this year and in the middle of the herbs, we planted all of our lettuce, etc…not been touched once.

    Enjoy your tomatoes!

  22. Laura says:

    Ha! This is worth a copy and paste. A sweet song about just such a hungry garden bunny from Elizabeth Mitchell. My son loves this song! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yh5cQLyTwSo

  23. Larisa says:

    We have this exact same issue, but with birds. Fake owls and fake snakes don’t work. I have resorted to picking the tomatoes green because as soon as they get a pinkish tinge, some bird pecks a tiny hole in it, and then the bugs move in. Regardless of the number of pinkish tomatoes, they ALL get little pecked holes. Grrrrr. Next year we’re building a chicken-wire “house” to keep the tomato killers out.

    • Sue says:

      I had the same problem, and it turns out that they’re looking for water. They peck the holes in it and suck out the liquid. Put a birdbath, or a bunch of water bowls in your garden, and they’ll stop pecking your tomatoes.

      • Larisa says:

        Really? We have water bowls/baths set out in the front of the house but not in the back. I’ll give it a try. Thanks!

    • Koa says:

      Oh! With birds, we put tall stakes around the garden, or just tie on trees, the flashing tape (like silvery string, you know?) It REALLY works!!! Our blueberries are practically covered in it. ;-)

  24. Natalie says:

    Even more hilarious to me than the post are the comments. Lol, cue all the unsolicited gardening advice! I’m sure reading everything you did wrong with the chicken wire is EXACTLY what you had in mind. This is why I no longer vent online. Well, except for this little vent of course :)

  25. rebekah says:

    You need to read the book Muncha Muncha Muncha by Candace Flemming. It would be perfect for what you are experiencing…

    • Jessica says:

      haha- I was just coming to suggest that book! It is adorable, and every mama gardener should own a copy. ;)

    • wilma fingerdoo says:

      Loved that book.

      Also highly recommend Creepy Carrots by Aaron Reynolds. It has rabbits and carrots and amazing Twilight Zone illustrations. My daughter loved it so much, she donated a copy to the school library for her birthday.

    • Debbie B says:

      I agree with rebekah!

  26. Tara says:

    Yeah, the rabbits have ignored all of our efforts to keep them out of our garden. They ate the tops off of most of our sunflowers and chewed the bark off our apple tree sapling. The tree is now fenced in but we are worried that it may be sick :( We can’t even grow tomatoes anymore because the squirrels just eat them when they are green.

  27. Emily says:

    Your cats would not appreciate this and I’m not actually serious but…

    You could always enclose the tomatoes in cat-pen stuff then stick your cats out there to live.

    Course the cats would probably just stare at the bunnies and not try to eat them.

    • Kirsten says:

      ROTFLMAO! The blog is a good one today, the comments are priceless. I’ve still got tears in my eyes from yours. Just picturing my 2 kitties in a “cat coop” that’s about 4 x 3 in area with the 3 tomato plants, dying marigolds and bean plant staring at the bunnies and squirrels and yowling because they want to explore and because I’m not there.

      Of course, my girl cat would eat the plants herself then “refertilize” through regurgitation. Plus, my garden problem is more the neighbors’ cats that see my planting soil as litter boxes. Probably wouldn’t help to have my cats contribute to that issue.

  28. Kiinu says:

    Ugh, that’show I feel about woodchucks. Stupid little furry monsters.

    I also live on a swamp, so we have chicken wire wrapped around the bottom 4ft of all trees to keep the goddamn beavers from chewing them up.

    This summer, I bit the bullet and planted my garden in the front yard, right next to my steps. so far it’s worked really well.

  29. May Paring says:

    That’s exactly how I feel about squirrels!!

  30. Sandra Nelsen says:

    Rabbits strip the bark off of trees as well. I had to put up fencing around my trees, and spray the barkless areas with that black tar. I couldn’t believe it.

  31. Jen H says:

    Get a humane animal trap. Catch them, and go drop them off a few miles away. My hubby’s grandparents have a big garden/orchard and they are always catching squirrels, raccoons, possums, etc.

    • Laura says:

      It’s hard to live trap rabbits. I’ve been trying for 2 months.

      • Shirley says:

        Learned from a wildlife rehab study..rabbits are VERY high strung and almost impossible to rehab. Learned from chasing a young one in my fenced garden when it got stuck…they will have a heart attack and die if cornered. I only felt guilty for a couple of minutes.

  32. Serena says:

    We live across the street from a nature center so everything and anything that can and will eat my prized veggies and strawberries does. I did the same thing and put up an awful looking chicken wire fence BY MYSELF. Now the bunnies are cute again. We even saved a little nest of them I found on the side of the house this spring while weeding.

  33. Jenny says:

    We have a garden here in our yard in Ontario, Canada. There are a lot of bunnies around but our cat is a lethal killing machine. So far this year she has left us countless mice and at least 3 headless bunnies. Our garden tends to do quite well. We do have strawberry plants in pots that the squirrels always get to before we pick. Too bad the cat hasn’t perfected her squirrel hunting skills.

  34. Jenny Kalmon says:

    hmmm…the kids just discovered a half-eaten bunny outside. We suspect the cat (primarily based on her proximity to said bunny). Better than half-eaten tomatoes? I think not.

  35. Catherine says:

    Guard Dog. A beagle is good. They like bunnies, for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Get dog. Tie it up to the garden and give it only water, and enough rope to run after bunnies and catch them. This should do the trick. OR go to farmers market and buy someone else’s tomatoes untouched by bunnies. ;) (I’m kidding, before everyone send me hate mail for telling you to tie the dog outside and give it only water, jesus. Do people know witty cleverisms anymore?) ps. I love your blog, I have no kids for all the reasons you write about, I would be you if I did have kids. You make me laugh, thanks, keep writing.

  36. Sara says:

    The story of peter rabbit and crappy mama.

  37. Amy Jeanne says:

    We had this exact same problem last year…except it wasn’t the rabbits. I caught a squirrel red handed, literally shaking my tomato plant to get the ripe ones to fall off. And the ones that didn’t fall he just bit into while still on the vine. I’ve read it’s because they’re thirsty and don’t even like tomatoes. A fence won’t keep them out, unfortunately.

  38. Amanda says:

    I have wire fencing around my garden also. The bottom portion has holes that are smaller than the top, so I was SURE it was going to work. And it has, for the last four years. Until now…the damn bunny jumped up and through the fencing holes (which don’t appear to be big enough for a bunny to fit through) and has created a F*#@ing NEST in my garden. Right between my rows of lettuce. And now there is a family of bunnies living IN my garden. My kids think they are cute and want to feed them. All I want to do is shoot them!

  39. Heidi says:

    A neighborhood cat took care of our garden-destoying rabbit problem. I’m not a cat person, but I love the ones that hunt!

    • Heidi says:

      Now, if the neighborhood cats would just take care of my powdery mildew! However, Neem oil should arrive today!

  40. tara says:

    Hahah I love your face in the “die bunny!”

    I also do things to prove to my husband that I will do things if he thinks I can’t. I’m still not sure who’s winning when this happens. But he definitely doesn’t get any tomatoes.

  41. Jenn says:

    “Therefore, he can’t have any tomatoes.”

    Damn straight. NO SOUP FOR YOU!

  42. Teresa says:

    I had thought about starting a garden…but there are bunnies that come into our yard. This might deter me from trying.

  43. kelly mcgill says:

    My brother threw a rock at a garden bunny and he unintentionally killed said bunny. My sister in law then cooked it for dinner. Toughest sister in law ever

  44. LOL! i know the feeling!

  45. joanna says:

    bunny heads on pikes as an example to others? (is that too dark?)

  46. Jill says:

    Our enemy is the cute and cuddly looking chipmunk! Damn things have eaten all of our strawberries and they are sneaky as all get out. No, they don’t eat the whole strawberry, they eat just the backside so you think you are about to pick the ripest juiciest strawberry ever, only to be fooled by the damn chippys! Death to the chippys is our moto!

  47. christie says:

    Haha! I once found the culprit responsible for munching through an entire row of swiss chard- a big fat caterpillar thing. Seems like it should have a much more ominous sounding name than caterpillar. So I threw it down the garbage disposal.HA. Then googled it and turns out that was the GOOD caterpillar that was probably eating whatever was munching up my chard. !#!#@@%%!

  48. Lucile says:

    Ha! One year I had the same problem with deer. They’d take a bite out of a green tomato, shake their heads at the taste, drop the tomato and try another one. By the time I discovered it, all my tomatoes were lying on the ground with one bite taken out of them… and they were GREEN tomatoes which, when fried, are one of my favorite foods in the world.
    I have been an animal lover all my life, but I found myself throwing green tomatoes at that deer and getting great satisfaction when one hit her.
    Now I have a fenced garden, and squirrels, not deer, eat my tomatoes.
    Good luck with your chicken wire!

  49. Jill says:

    Haha! This is how I feel about them too! My solution (along with the chicken fence and dog fur) was making a Bunny Garden! It was a garden of all the left over seeds, and extra seedlings that I just couldn’t fit in my garden. I did put a “pretty” fence around it, just to make the bunnies think that it was a no-bunny-go place, and the fell for it! 4 Year later and I still see the little fluff balls hanging out in the bunny garden! The skunks too have gotten in on it!

    The best part of the bunny garden is that the little ones can plant as they want to…I can be a control freak when it comes to the family garden! Good Luck!

  50. Alex says:

    We don’t have a bunny problems because the squirrels chase them away… We have an amazing squirrel and chipmunk problem however! Squirrels will climb a fence or even drop off from any surrounding tree to get into the fence and later find a way to climb out. Chipmunks dig tunnels until they get past the fence. There are plenty of cats the neighborhood who don’t care to chase either kind of rodent.
    We tried the fox urine powder and that worked pretty well. You can buy it at Menards. It’s powder in a can with 95% stuff and 5% fox urine. It reeks when you first apply it but the smells dissipates. It’s supposed to make the rodents think your garden is part of their predator’s territory. If you have a raccoon problem, you get coyote urine and if you have a fox or coyote problem, you can get lion urine!!! To avoid having to do too many applications, I put the powder in corners and cracks where they would be protected from the rain.
    I agree with other posters that bunny tastes great. Get a live trap and have crappy papa skin it for you. It’s wonderful slow-cooked in mushroom sauce. I don’t feel squirrels would be safe to eat and chipmunks aren’t worth the trouble.

  51. Lily says:

    My parents had problems with bunnies when I was a kid, so my dad made my brother and I each a “rabbit rocket” – a sling shot with tennis balls for ammo. I think we only hit a rabbit once (and the rabbit kept right on hopping, so I don’t think we hurt it) but I like to think the constant threat of getting *nearly* beaned with a tennis ball kept the little buggers away. Anyway, I don’t advocate giving your kids sling shots and teaching them to aim at (mostly innocent) bunnies, but it *would* keep them occupied for whole minutes at a time…. :)

  52. Kali says:

    We have this same situation except substitute my husband for you, our fig tree for your garden and European Starlings (loathsome winged creatures of menace) for the bunnies. My husband LOVES his figs and as a computer software designer believes technology always has the answer so he is (no joke) designing a program to visually identify Starlings via a webcam pointed at the tree which will set off some scary event like a burst of noise or sound like a leaf blower starting. Hours and hours of his “free” time have gone into this. Still no prototype working yet and the figs will be ripe this month or next. He’s obsessed and yet you can buy a container of fresh figs at the store for $3. I now realize it’s not about the figs, it’s about retaliation.

  53. Jamie says:

    Get your shot gun ready. Bar B Que bunny is pretty tasty.

  54. Allison says:

    One of our all time favorite children’s book!
    Really charming.
    check it out!

    http://www.amazon.com/Muncha-Candace-Fleming/dp/0689831528

  55. Natilie says:

    Sounds like you should be harvesting some bunny meat. Yum! I peed around our raised bed, stapled chicken wire, planted garlic and places mason jars on top of bamboo sticks (it’s suppose to look like predators eyes?) and so far so good. PS. I really enjoying popping a squat outside apparently.

    • Briony says:

      Lol hilarious!

      I empty the potty down the garden to keep the foxes away, and it works. When the older one started using the toilet and the little one was still in nappies, the foxes started pooing in our vegetable patch again. Strangely I never thought of squatting myself, probably only because our garden is very overlooked by our neighbours! :)

      I have now trained both boys to pee down there, but it’s hard explaining why they can’t pee in my mother in law’s garden!

  56. Erika says:

    Good luck. It’s the squirrels as well. We have a ton of fruit trees in our yard- every time the fruit is almost ripe the little fuckers climb up the branches eat the fruit and leave the pits at the bottom of the truck to remind us who actually runs the show.
    Sometimes they only take a single bite out of each fruit.
    We had a whole raised bed garden with tomatoes, beans, peas, squash. We went out one morning and picked a bunch of beans and peas- 15 minutes later I looked at the garden and every single plant was ripped off the trellis and destroyed. The chicken wire just helped them get the higher fruit.
    If you find something that works (besides the shotgun), please let me know. I’d love to have a garden again.

  57. marie says:

    u could always pick the tomatoes almost ripe, and leave them on a sunny windowsill to finish them off indoors… just saying, mxxx

  58. Amanda Gilds says:

    Raccoon’s are eating my tomatoes…picking them right off of the bush and breaking the plant in the process. DAMN COONS!

  59. Lauren says:

    It used to make me sad that we don’t have rabbits in our neighborhood… but I have gorgeous basil plants and am rethinking my sadness!

    In other news, I really think you missed an opportunity in not illustrating Plan B! …I’m imagining it for you… it’s hilarious

  60. Amy U says:

    Any tips on how to shoot hail and grasshoppers? Grrr.

  61. Natalie says:

    Our boys shoot the little bunnies around here—waiting until all the animal rights neighbors are on vacation, of course. They have fun, it solves our rabbit problem, we all enjoy our gardens and the food therein, and I actually think the neighbors are grateful, though they won’t say. Die Bunny? Yes.

  62. Jessica B. says:

    Ugh, I have grasshoppers eating all of my basil! My poor basil plants look like moldy swiss cheese!

    And I hear you about basil! They keep on eating my beans and parsley! And something keeps on eating my peppers, I don’t know what.

    So far nothing likes my squash, which is good, cause that is my favorite. But, if anything touches my tomatoes, oh, I will be so unhappy. I will have rude words and big hand movements and everything!

  63. Karen L. says:

    Love it! Maybe it’s a were-rabbit! This reminded me of the video of Wallace and Grommit about the were-rabbit that was vandalizing all the gardens at night. Kinda like a Movie:illustrated with crappy pictures.

  64. Kate says:

    You have officially turned into Farmer McGregor! :)

  65. Anne says:

    We have deer & bunnies. My husband calls deer “rats on stilts”.

  66. Sarah says:

    We have chickens that used to be confined to their chicken run but recently we decided that they could be free range. They got in my garden and ate all the new peppers! Back in the chicken run! I’ve never scolded a chicken before but I found myself yelling at them and saying “bad chickens!” They acted like they couldn’t hear me, just like my kids :/

  67. Beth says:

    In the spring we take our dogs around the yard to any and all places where rabbits might nest – no baby bunnies means no mama bunnies. Maybe crappy dog would help you out with your problem!

  68. Lisa says:

    Maybe you could buy lots of lucky rabbits feet and hang them on the chicken wire- sort of a ‘heads on spikes near the Tower of London’ idea.

  69. Katie says:

    You need to read the book “Muncha, Muncha, Muncha” if you have not already. Those little bunnies are crafty! I live in the desert and nothing except scorpions and tarantulas live outside my garden so I say that is a bonus.

  70. Same thing happened with “Oh look at the cute squirrels” till they took up residence in our attic and peed and chewed up our treasured Christmas decorations. Now it’s “Die you horrid rodent, die!”

  71. Aleta says:

    Lol, So true! But keep those bunnies by you :)

  72. Stupid caterpillars says:

    Any of you experts know how to get rid of little black & yellow catepillars that infested all my grape vines?? Some Skelton type bc they suck all the chlorophyll out of the leaves & leave skeleton leaves :(

  73. Myssie says:

    I feel ya! Damn bunnies got all my kale! The kale I planned on eating all summer long. We skipped right ahead to fence as my partner saw that I could easily go to “crazy lady (who won’t let her kid have guns) in the back hard with a gun”. It was a good call, as I was already the crazy lady storming around the yard bellowing “my kale you damn bunnies. MY KALE!!”

  74. pia says:

    it’s amazing how motivating a negative comment from a significant other can fuel a productivity fury like no other. I wish I could solicit them to do the things I want to accomplish most – like not yelling at my kids (only at him) – and really kicking in the homeschooling routine like nobody’s business. (whoops, posting this at ‘bed-time’, read: poking-your-eyes-out-with-needs time – ) and ‘Hubby’ (ew)
    just asked what the horrid noise was coming from the already broken washing machine? “why, it’s a giant marble, dear” – obnoxious look from male of household – “what?” “I just want you to check before starting the washing machine. Check what’s inside the washing machine.”
    ok, so maybe this means I am going to be the guiness book of world records kick-ass washer woman. Due to the negative feedback that implies my incompetence.
    Amber, thanks for talking me out of getting a bunny for my youngest’s BD next month. Little poop machines. They do taste
    yummy cooked on low in white wine for 3 hrs.

  75. Julia says:

    Last year I had rats that ate all my ripening tomatoes. The best advice I got was to pick the tomatoes as soon as you can see that tiny hint of pink and then ripen them on the windowsill. I promise, they still taste just as good. When you get really good, you’ll start to be able to tell even the day before they start to turn and pick them then…

    You’ll still lose a few, though, cuz the critters can tell when they’re about to ripen, too.

  76. Amy Keffer says:

    I expect this has been mentioned already, but deer and rabbits are rumored to be deterred by human hair… and human urine. Your boys will LOVE to help with that gardening chore!!!!

    If not, I found myself looking for rabbit and venison recipes the other day. :-/

  77. eleusis.kore says:

    I don’t know if it was mentioned before, but might I suggest the book “Muncha, Muncha, Muncha” by Denise Fleming. It may not solve your problem….exactly, but it will make you feel better about it. :)

  78. Susan Raedeke says:

    Why did you pee on litter? :)

  79. Cat says:

    I hate to say it, but if you didn’t bury the fence at least 1′ deep into the dirt, your garden is still screwed. They live in burrows, digging is kinda their thing :\

  80. Tori says:

    I have 3 strawberry plants and was so excited to get berries. Every last one had a stinking bite out of it. Look urban creatures, if you don’t like one, you don’t have to take a bite out of each one just to be sure. And if you’re hungry, just eat a whole one and leave the rest for me. You better leave my tomatoes alone!

  81. Heather says:

    Dandelions work to keep bunnies from eating your garden. Not because they don’t like them, but because they LOVE them. They will fill up on dandelions and leave your veggies alone.

  82. Mel says:

    Rabbit proof fence! Nice job – you can be an honorary Australian.

  83. Shirley says:

    I’m surprised no one has mentioned VOLES! They’re short tailed, vegetarian rats which tunnel under Hostas and Siberian Iris to eat all the roots in the winter. The rest of the year they eat every green thing they encounter. And each female can produce 4,000 offspring in a very short while. Luckily they don’t live too long. And cats love to hunt them. And sometimes they will fall into my water traps.

  84. Charlotte says:

    At least they eat ALL of the tomatoes. The bunnies would nibble on one, then the other, last year in our garden. We’d have loads of tomatoes with “bunny nibbles” on them.

  85. ashlea says:

    We have one that stay in our yard. We think it’s the same one. We also have a german shepherd in the back yard. The bunny still hops around eating grass, and dandelions when they are there. Haven’t seen him in the garden yet. But that was my idea to put the chicken wire up stapled to the wood. But we dont have a staple gun. Hopefully the bunny will stay away.

  86. Sarah KP says:

    Damn girl…you are funny!

  87. Tracy says:

    Ha Ha I’ve tried a bunch of that stuff too. Damn bunnies. I also did the chicken fence thing but I didn’t have a raised bed frame to staple the bottom to so I just tried to sink it about an inch or so. It worked until the damn things dug under it. ARUGH! I fixed it, but it’s so annoying. When I lived in Main it was the deer I was constantly battling.

  88. Jena says:

    human hair in old nylons tied up into little baggies and hung around and in your garden should work…you can use hair clippings from the kids hair cuts. Always worked for us when i was growing up and seems to work now…no bunnies or deer eat our veggis.

  89. Kathy says:

    You should read the picture book Muncha, Muncha, Muncha (by Candice Fleming) with your boys….given your current bunny battles, I bet they’d get a kick out of it!

  90. When I read “We put out cat and dog fur, peed on cat litter and even planted things that bunnies are supposed to hate,” I thought you meant you peed on the cat litter and put it in the garden. You didn’t, did you?

    I’d probably prefer having bunny in my garden. It’s not like I can shoot my three-year-old daughter with a BB gun when she picks all the tomatoes while they’re still green, can I? No, can I?

  91. Tracey says:

    My friends Beagle used to eat the leaves off of all her garden plants. I suggested Tabasco sauce to keep him away. She called me super mad and said it was like she had just added salad dressing to the plants…he literally ate the ENTIRE garden in an hour.

  92. A~ says:

    I’ve wrapped mothballs in cheese cloth and hung them from the tops of my metal tomato stands to deter deer from nibbling and it was pretty effective…maybe some variation of this would work for
    bunnies? Shallow cups of beer work for attracting slugs, they apparently like it better than the veggie plants…maybe getting the bunnies drunk could help… Good luck!

  93. Patricia says:

    I demand a blood test.
    I swear we share the same DNA…

  94. Jen W says:

    I understand you completely! We loved our backyard bunnies…right up until they ate all the leaves off our baby green bean plants!! We’re currently in the stinky spray realm and it seems to be working. Fingers crossed. Lets hope they don’t go after the tomatoes…DH would go beserk!

  95. Chris says:

    In Ontario we have a gardening expert that comes on the public radio. He recommends a bar of soap, such as Lever 2000, Irish Spring, etc on a stick in the garden. Everytime you water or it rains, it will start to smell, and put the buggers off.

    Mind you, I have a ground hog problem and I put cayenne pepper all over my plants and into the tunnel he dug under the fence. I also laughed maniacally a bit when my husband said he saw a flattened ground hog on the street. (Then I felt guilty and said a little prayer to St. Francis that is had not suffered).

    Still though, I hate the buggers, thinking of getting a sling shot.

  96. Unfit Parent says:

    I feel the same way! I got a wee bug up my butt to plant a garden this year and the only thing the damned deer and overgrown rodents have left to me is a solitary onion. :/

  97. Amber says:

    Welcome to my world. We do not have a garden this year due to the @$!# bunnies. I even had to pick different flowers because those cute little furry rodents ate all the petals off my flowers and plant them in 100 degree weather.

    I swear if you walk around our neighborhood everyone else has wonderful flower gardens. You get to our house and there are green plants that use to have wonderful colorful petals.

    I also believe that picked our house to taunt our dog, poor Dexter.

  98. Devan says:

    Kill at will!!

  99. Have you tried to threaten or intimidate the bunnies? Maybe hang a rabbit’s foot from a stake and put up a sign that says, “Abandon hope all ye who enter here” or maybe “This is what we do with trespassers”

  100. Lauren says:

    I had issues with bunnies in the spring eating my flowers and someone suggested putting those wooden skewers used for shish-ka-bobs around the flowers to deter them. Not sure if it worked or the bunnies lost interest in the flowers but my flowers are once again blooming.

  101. Susan Veach says:

    Only one lonely bunny in our yard who really likes clover, but the deer…well…I can only say it’s been a long time since I had venison. Maybe this weekend we can barbecue some.

    Dear Husband put a similar fence around our garden. Now only the groundhogs push their way under the wire. Fat shits.

  102. Katie says:

    “Little shits” makes me crack up since that’s why my uncle has always called me in his thick italian brogue.

  103. that_one_girl says:

    the rabbits in my area decided to go after my flower bulbs during the winter. I was able to rescue 4 out of the 10 that I had! The survivors are in pots in the yard with the dogs … I DARE the rabbits to try to eat them now!

  104. Genipher says:

    Try a “water scarecrow”. They spray when something moves and scares the animal away. I have friends that used it for deer and it was the first time in YEARS that they had a garden grow to fruition.

  105. Tehillah says:

    This story reminds me of Peter Rabbit and the old man who sat in his rocking chair waiting for those rabbits so that his wife could make a fur coat out of them. (Maybe you should make a trophy coat if you shoot dem rabbits as to warn other rabbits of their fate should they eat your tomatoes!)

  106. Christy says:

    The book “Muncha Muncha Muncha” always makes me feel sad for the farmer. The bunnies win. Good luck. http://www.amazon.com/Muncha-Candace-Fleming/dp/0689831528

  107. Pingback: A Public Apology - Crappy Pictures

  108. Angela says:

    That is why Australia has a RABBIT PROOF FENCE! They get in plague proportions in this country and are a pest! Actually, whilst living in Germany, it was funny to see the odd rabbit as a pet. That was new to me. They are illegal to have as a pet in Australia.

  109. Sam says:

    Try putting your pee around the base of the tomatoes.

  110. Pasinski says:

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