As I mentioned, we’re doing a joint birthday party again this year for Crappy Boy and Crappy Baby. This weekend actually.
I’ve still never told the story of last year’s party. Which I should do just in case something even better happens this year…
The kids are all about pirates. Pirates, pirates, pirates. Pirates all day long. So naturally, the party will include pirate stuff too.
We have it all! It is awesome! A jolly roger pi
It is the night before and everything is in place.
Before bed, I quickly check evite to see if there are any last minute changes:
Nope! Everyone is coming!
We go to sleep.
In the morning, I get a call from Wendy that her eldest girl had a fever the night before so they probably shouldn’t come. I know this will be really disappointing to Crappy Boy and Baby. That knocks three whole kids from the list, too. Bummer.
I check evite again, just to be sure the other six kids are coming:
Nope. ZERO kids are coming.
Every single family with a kid cancelled within the last 12 hours.
I corner Crappy Papa in the kitchen and whisper the news:
He panics too. He suggests we “find some” but we realize this is impossible. All the kids we know well were already invited. The ones we don’t know well won’t exactly appreciate a last minute invite for a party that starts in two hours. They’ll know they were second tier.
Putting a call out on the internet for Southern California kids ages 3-6 might work. Especially if we say it is a casting call for a movie. But that would be sorta creepy. Plus, hired party attendees is even more pathetic than having none at all.
Sigh. There is no hope. No kids are coming.
And now I have to tell them and ruin their childhood:
Their shoulders droop. Their eyes well up with tears. They look dejected.
I consider running into the kitchen to stab myself with a fork to ease the pain in my heart.
Crappy Boy looks up at me and says, devastated:
He asks about the piata. He assumes that if there isn’t a group of kids to be involved it can’t happen at all. (Likely because I have explained that we only do pi atas at parties with other kids after he asked for one on a random Thursday.)
They realize that this means they’ll get ALL the candy and toys!
And their childhood was saved once again. By candy.
In the end, Pops (their grandfather) arrived and said, “You want a kid? I can get you a kid. Believe me.” (Think The Big Lebowski - except not toes) And he did. It was a family friend whom we didn’t think to invite because he is a few years older. So they spent the day playing basketball with the “cool older kid” along with an aunt and uncles and grandparents.
It also turned out that Wendy’s eldest daughter no longer had a fever and felt fine. So they all came later that afternoon (after everyone else left) and partied until dark. So it was like they had two parties!
PS – People often ask me how Wendy is doing and wanted to share that you can read her CaringBridge page for updates. All I ask is that you don’t bombard her guestbook with a bunch of “I’m so sorry for you!” messages because those only make people feel like shit. And I will cut you. Tell her a joke or send her healing vibes and nice positive stuff like that instead. Please.