Crappy Papa is at the zoo with Crappy Boy and Crappy Baby.
They look for the monkeys first because monkeys are cool.
They find them.
Adorable squirrel monkeys.
Then suddenly, one of the monkeys grabs the other one.
And begins humping it. Furiously.
Monkey sounds are also made.
Crappy Boy asks if they are mating.
Crappy Papa answers affirmatively.
Crappy Boy says “Wow, Cool!” and also “I can’t believe we get to watch this in real life!”
Crappy Baby also says “Cool!” but that is only because his brother said it first. He hasn’t grown into monkey porn yet.
Seconds later, the two monkeys detach and move back to their original spots on the branch.
Out of the corner of his eye, Crappy Papa notices that the female monkey is dripping. Just a tiny bit.
And that the male monkey still has a giant monkey boner. And he is picking at it.
Crappy Papa says, “Maybe”. Mating is how babies are made. Yes, indeed.
Next, the male monkey starts biting his penis. Actually, gnawing on the tip.
Just then, a redheaded woman with a baby in a stroller walks up to the scene.
You know, the penis biting monkey scene.
Crappy Boy pipes up cheerfully with “They were mating!” but this doesn’t help her feel more comfortable.
You know how some redheads don’t just blush on their cheeks but their entire face turns red? Poor woman. She wheeled the stroller away and made a quick escape.
Crappy Boy is still enthralled.
Crappy Papa pats himself on the back for being the kind of dad that can handle this situation with ease. No need for quick exits here. This is natural! Nothing wrong with a little monkey business on a Thursday afternoon.
But while the monkey pretends his wiener is a straw, Crappy Boy asks one more question:
And they too make a quick escape.