Hey, I Wrote A Marriage Book

One morning last week I was very tired because I stayed up too late the night before.


I guess he misheard me.


While I didn’t write a book last week, I DID write one. Um, all of last year.


Marriage: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures! Which comes out December 30th, 2014.

Only 8 weeks away, wow.


Did you notice how it comes out five days after Christmas? I hear this is the worst possible time for a book to come out. Too late for it to arrive for Christmas/Hannukah yet it falls in the wake of the holiday blitz.

Apparently, people say that this is the week that books release to die.

So. That’s good news.

To combat the odd timing, if you pre-order TODAY through November 17th you will receive a signed bookplate by Christmas. This way you have something tangible to give (or get, if you are giving it to yourself which is a practice I highly recommend) and the book will arrive shortly after the holidays. Which is precisely when you’ll have time to cozy up with it and enjoy it anyway.

This is what the bookplates look like:


A signed bookplate sticker that you can stick in the front cover of your book. Or you can stick it wherever you want, really.

How it works…

#1. Preorder today through November 17th, 2014 from the following (logos will take you right to the book)

Amazonlogo      BarnesNoble_logo

bam     Indigo

    Available_on_the_iBookstore_Badge_US-UK_146x40_0824         google-play                 



#2. Then fill out this form.

Offer valid for US & Canada addresses (excl. Quebec). Limited quantities. 

Then you will receive a handy dandy, signed bookplate sticker in the mail in time for the holidays!

Thank you!!



For a bit more about the book, I made a page for it. The book feels special already.

PS – although not eligible for the bookplate, the book is on AmazonUK and also on Book Depository, which offers free shipping worldwide for those of you in far off corners of the world. Thank you!!

This entry was posted in book, crappy papa, crappy pictures, marriage. Bookmark the permalink.

51 Responses to Hey, I Wrote A Marriage Book

  1. ReneeK says:

    Oh now THIS is going to be fantastic!! 2 copies ordered!! Can’t wait! 🙂

  2. Gillian says:

    The funny flattering quote from your husband just slayed me. Copy pre-ordered.

  3. CSmith says:

    I’m excited to read your book! But, the timing does suck, maybe you could super promote it for Valentine’s. Every marriage that’s more than a few years old and has kids needs some humor around V Day.

  4. Joanna says:

    “Clean or Dirty?”, “I dunno, smell it.” Is usually a conversation reversed in my house. I 😛 (My husband does ALL the laundry, I just have the job of putting it all away. 😛 )

  5. Kris says:

    Oh I can’t wait! I preordered!

  6. Sadie says:

    Yay! Just preordered!! Can’t wait!

  7. Rebecca says:

    Congratulations Amber!

  8. Karen says:

    I’m so happy that Canada is included in the bookplate preordering this time!

  9. Louise says:

    That sounds fabulous – exciting news. Have preordered my copy and can’t wait to read it! 🙂

  10. Liz says:

    I cannot WAIT to read this!

  11. Alison says:

    I’ve learned to say, “Clean or dirty and I’m not smelling it.”

  12. Jess says:

    *SQUEEEE* I can’t wait!!

  13. Jac says:

    Just bought a copy! Also bought your cool calendar! Happy pre-holidays!

  14. Jen says:

    I ordered! I loved your parenting book, can’t wait to read this one.

  15. Carolyn says:

    I’m in tears cause I’m so bloody excited. #dementia

  16. Sarah B says:

    Yahoo! Ordered!!

  17. Tracey Gill says:

    Just in time for people to spend the gift certificates they got for Christmas!

  18. That’s wonderful! Congratulations! I can’t wait to read it.

  19. Raven says:

    Too late for Christmas, but EXACTLY in time for my birthday, so thank you!! I’ll be ordering it for myself. 🙂

  20. J says:

    But not Quebec!? 🙁 Why?

    • Dan says:

      It is because of Quebec’s sweepstakes laws, Quebec is nearly always excluded in contests, giveaways, etc. Every giveaway must be registered by law and a fee of 10% must be paid to Quebec. Plus, there regulations about publicly posting the rules for 30 days prior to the date of a giveaway. That would be a whole lot of hoops to jump through to hand out stickers.

  21. Doug says:

    So wait, does Amber the mom wear purple, while Amber the wife wears red?

  22. Linda says:

    I just pre-ordered it for delivery to the far away corner of Devoncestershire (UK) where I reside. Any time of year is good for me regarding amusing literature…and free postage with Amazon too. WIN! xx

  23. Sarah says:

    Seeing this made my “Day Light Savings Have Turned My Kids into Crazy Monsters” Day so much brighter!!!

    I CAN”T WAIT!!!

    Thanks for being productive… and thank you Crappy Daddy for giving Amber time to be productive (in a “writing a book” sense)!!!

  24. Maria says:

    Want! Wish I wasn’t mobile so I could order right now! I don’t trust these fat fingers. Lol

  25. Mona says:

    I live in quebec canada … I was gonna order it …too bad 🙁

    • Jen says:

      You can still get the book, just not the sticker. I’m sure it isn’t Amber’s fault, it is probably her publisher.

    • Dan says:

      It is because of Quebec’s sweepstakes laws, Quebec is nearly always excluded in contests, giveaways, etc. Every giveaway must be registered by law and a fee of 10% must be paid to Quebec. Plus, there regulations about publicly posting the rules for 30 days prior to the date of a giveaway. That would be a whole lot of hoops to jump through to hand out stickers.

  26. Shannon says:

    WOOT!! preordered the book and got the calender too (cause hubby loves me but sucks at pre-thought gift giving) Can’t wait! We’ll make it a new trend in book releases…screw the holidays…buy for yourself when you got nothing that you wanted LOL!

  27. Jess says:

    I preordered but I actually had to take cleaning supplies out of my Amazon cart to do it…oh, well. Who needs cleaning supplies anyways!

  28. CONGRATULATIONS! You know I love all you do, and fully expect this to be a success. 🙂

  29. Jenn says:

    Can’t wait! I think I need to reread my parenting one now just to celebrate!

  30. Lindsey says:

    Just ordered mine! Along with a copy of your parenting book. I stalk your blog and I’ve always wanted an excuse to buy the first book- now I’ve got both! Whoooo!

  31. Ana says:

    I just went ahead and bookmarked this on my husband’s computer… then I will tell him about it when he gets home. I have made him an avid fan of yours. Super excited!

  32. LindsayA says:

    Not in time for Christmas… BUT perfect timing for those who’ve received bookstore gift cards at Christmas and area ready to use ’em.

  33. SIM says:

    oh my …. just ordered 5 books but unfortunately no sticker for me as the order goes to china :0(
    happy holidays ahead 😉

  34. Deb says:

    Well…I loved your first book, so I’m sure this one will be another winner. Thanks Amber, for making my crappy days a little less crappy. 🙂

  35. Haley says:

    Congratulations! That’s so exciting! I can’t wait to read your new book. I just ordered two copies along with the wall calender and engagement calender. My husband and I loved your first book and we follow your blog too. 🙂 I’m excited to have both books now.

  36. Sasha says:

    Yay! Congratulations! I just preordered 🙂

  37. SassyDandelion says:

    Oh, dear. Now I have to decide if I want to get an e-copy or hard copy… Decisions, decisions.
    I LOVE the e-copies. So easy to read, portable, protected from my children.
    However, if I get a hard copy, I can put the book plate right into it; BUT my 2 year old daughter has the ability to add her own illustrations and my 8 year old son has the ability to read it (which may not be a bad thing in and of itself since I’ve been considering buying him the Babysitter Club books JUST to prepare him for, you know, puberty hitting and girls).
    Oh, Sweet Baby Jesus. This is a decision that requires more (or, less…?) wine.

  38. AJ says:

    Excluding Quebec?!? *sigh*

  39. Trisha W. says:

    Yay! I finally remembered AND had a chance to pre-order my copy from Amazon. Thanks Amber!

  40. Sarah G says:

    I think I can get the invisible gold star…is it “The Quickie Window”? That’s my husband and I’s favorite post ever and we joke about it all the time! Now I have to get the book… 😀 Thanks for keeping us laughing!

  41. Elizabeth Vassallo says:

    Who could resist this offer, especially since I have a bookplate for your first book too 😉 it will give me something to look forward to after Christmas, a little gift to myself!