What It’s Like to Wash A Kid’s Hair

I’m not a fan of washing Crappy Baby’s hair. Wait, it’s not actually the washing that is the problem, it is the rinsing after the washing. The part where I have to get the bloody soap out. (Not bloody as in the dark red stuff. Bloody like the people say in the UK. Just clarifying.)

It’s the same routine, you see. It has been the same routine his entire life.

There is just one thing he needs to do! Just one thing!


Tip. His. Head.

That’s it!

After the soap is rubbed in, he tips his head back so I can rinse it out.

So I ask him to tip.

And I ask him to tip again. I remind him about that pesky soap/eye/tipping connection.


I even gently press on his forehead to help him tip his head back.

He does it!


You see, I can get him to tip his head back after prompting a handful of times. It’s getting his head to stay tipped back during the rinsing that causes trouble.

I start to rinse for roughly three quarters of a second.

The moment the soap starts to rinse down in bubbly, dangerous streams…


He starts to look down. Every time. I’m not done rinsing! Tip your head back again!

I’m frantically using my hand to shield the soapy water from dripping down his forehead.

Just TIP your head back!!!

And, inevitably…


Yep. I did.


Before anyone even gets a chance to comment, yes, I know that tear-free shampoo has been invented. I’ve heard of it. I’m sure it’s brilliant stuff for loads of people. The few I’ve been willing to try haven’t worked well for us. Honestly, I’ve already been through this with one kid who eventually became a tipping master. So he’ll get there. No biggie.

For those of you that actually read these bottom footnote things, I want to let you know that the new, 2015 Parenting: Illustrated With Crappy Pictures 2015 Wall CALENDAR just came out! And the new, 2015 Parenting: Illustrated With Crappy Pictures 2015 ENGAGEMENT CALENDAR just came out! I didn’t even tell anyone I was DOING a calendar. So, surprise! I partnered with Willow Creek Press for these and just got my sample copies in the mail this weekend and they look amazing. I’m so freaking excited! More on these in tomorrow’s post where I might possibly wax poetic about their awesomeness. 

Posted in crappy calendars, Effing Fours, life, toddlers | 285 Comments

Um, hi. Or, what I did this summer

Apparently, I used to write and illustrate a blog.

This one.

But I haven’t written anything here since May.

So, um…


I didn’t intend to take four months off. It just sort of happened. The sun would go down and the sun would rise and then the sun would go down and then you’ll never guess what happened next. The same thing! It just kept happening!

Let’s catch up, shall we?

This is how it all began…

We first said goodbye to Crappy Fish.


Here is the story of Crappy Fish. He was ugly, but a good fish. I’m not exactly sure what defines a good fish or a bad fish, but he was definitely a good one. In fact, I’d go so far as to say he was the best fish ever.

Then we said goodbye to Crappy Cat.


The bigger, friendlier one of the two Crappy Cats. The one who acted like a dog in cat’s clothing. When I wrote “Crappy Cat” he was the cat I was referring to. You can see him here and here and here and here and he even makes an appearance here. In fact, he’s in the background or mentioned in so, so many of my posts. And in my book. Because he was ALWAYS there. Right in the middle, just wanting to be a part of everything.  He was the best cat ever.

Then just a couple weeks later, I said goodbye to Wendy.


You can read about Wendy and our friendship here. She was mentioned many, many times in this space. Like here and here and here. Gosh, she’s even mentioned here and here and I could dig to find more but I don’t want to. (I’m not expecting anyone to click all those links, I’m just illustrating how prevalent her presence was in our lives.)  She was the best friend ever.

So those goodbyes are what happened at the start of our summer.

And what caused me to enter what I call time panic.

Because time. is. fleeting.

You can’t catch it. You can’t stop it.


But there must be a way to slow it down. There must be. I’ll find a way!

I know, I’ll FILL it! I’ll fill my time so spilling over with things that I want to do that it will seem like there is MORE of it!

So that is what I did. I filled my summer with this sort of stuff:




And it was fantastic.

But it didn’t really work to slow down time.  It was only a temporary illusion.

In fact, by filling my time, it actually felt like it went by faster. 

So then I decided to stop trying to FILL time and do the exact opposite. I’d cut back. I’d only do a few things. Really savor them. Really focus. Slow down. Unplug. Be mindful.

Things like:


That felt pretty fantastic too.

And while it also didn’t slow down time, it no longer mattered anymore.

Because what it did do, was give me the space to think. Which, really, was what I needed all along.

So I thought the thoughts and remembered the memories and sang the songs and cried the tears and read the writings and laughed the laughs. Probably grew a little bit too.

And now I’m ready to write the words and draw the pictures.

So let me repeat! Um…


Looking forward to spending some time here again.

Posted in blogkeeping, life | 178 Comments