Crappy Baby is Unemployed

Remember way back two years ago when Crappy Boy wanted a job and so he opened a shop on Etsy making homemade watercolor cards? Two years later and he is still at it. I never would have guessed.

Over the last two years he has saved up for a Lego set and donated to the Duke Lemur Center.

Unfortunately, this lovely earning/saving/donating money experience came with a problem I didn’t anticipate.

Crappy Baby.

No income? No Lego set. No thank you cards from the Lemur Center or glowing praise from family members for choosing to donate your hard-earned cash either.

So, naturally…


He wants to join his brother’s business! Great! It can be a partnership. He can make card sets too!

We set it all up in the backyard and Crappy Boy immediately gets to work painting a new batch.

Crappy Baby though…


He doesn’t want to paint. He want to cut the paper into tiny little pieces instead.

After a day of work, this is their output:


Um, those are really nice pieces of blank paper, Crappy Baby. But I don’t think they are very marketable.  

So now what?

Hmmm, he likes cutting. How can I find him a job that involves cutting?

Completely at a loss for ideas, I decide to let Crappy Baby help with the cutting of the strings that gets wrapped around the card sets.


But there’s still a problem. Crappy Boy doesn’t want to pay him for this. “I could do it myself, Mama.” Also, “It only takes a second to do, I don’t think it is worth much money. It isn’t fair, these are MY cards.”

And he’s right, of course. It isn’t fair to Crappy Boy to make him share his profits on his work when Crappy Baby isn’t doing much of anything.

Yet it also isn’t fair to Crappy Baby to not give him something for his efforts. Oh, how heartbreaking and confusing it was for him when his big brother suddenly had enough money to buy a Lego set and he didn’t.

He really wants to make money, to have a “job” just like his brother. He’s trying! He’s just unemployed.

So what do I do? Should I pay him myself for his cutting efforts? A dime or a quarter perhaps?

Crappy Papa and I have gone back and forth on this issue over the last two years. Sure, we could pay him for doing almost nothing. It makes things easier. He feels like he has a string cutting job and he can save up money just like his brother and not feel left out.

But what happens to his work ethic? Are we setting him up to be a slacker?

What if, in 20 years:



I really don’t know what to do.

I’d love to know…what do you do to teach your kids about money? Making it, saving it, spending it, earning it, donating it? Do you provide ways they can earn money? Do they have an allowance? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.  


Posted in crappy pictures, doing art, siblings | 187 Comments

Decision Making Is Hard (plus 4 book giveaway)

I’m in the kitchen and Crappy Baby is in the next room.


He requests water and even remembers to say “please” at the end.


I ask about ice. This is where it gets complicated.

You see, unless it is over 100 degrees outside, I’m not fond of ice water. I like water room temperature because I’m cold all the time and ice water doesn’t help this problem. When I get water for myself it is sans ice. However, Crappy Papa is an ice water sort of a guy. He likes ice in his water. It is just the way he is and I’ve accepted it. If I get him water I know what to do. I add ice.

Crappy Boy and Crappy Baby have not yet decided where they stand on this issue. Sometimes they want ice. Sometimes they don’t. Eventually they’ll outgrow this annoying wishy washyness and take a stand. Or perhaps they’ll grow up to be a hybrid “sometimes ice, sometimes not” type of person. I’ve heard that those people actually exist and have friends.

Since Crappy Baby is still developing his preferences, I have to ask about his ice requirements.


He wants ice so I head to the freezer.


No ice then.


Ice it is!




It’s tough to make important decisions.




Decisions, decisions. So many good books just came out by funny friends of mine and even more are coming soon. Which one should you get? Answer: all of them. 

I Heart My Little A-Holes by Karen Alpert. (aka Baby Sideburns) I asked her to describe her book in one sentence and this is what she said:

I Heart My Little A-Holes is a hilarious (seriously, strap on an adult diaper or read it on the toilet) book about allllllllll the crazy crap that babies and kids put their parents through on a daily basis.

I Just Want to Be Alone  by Jen of People I Want to Punch in the Throat (and 22 other authors). I asked her to describe her book in one sentence and this is what she said:

From “boy meets girl” to “boy marries girl” to “girl could really use like 40 minutes to herself.”

Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves by Robin O’Bryant from Robin’s Chicks.  I asked her to describe her book in one sentence and this is what she said:

“A book about motherhood that will make you nod with recognition while simultaneously reminding you to schedule a hysterectomy.” Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess & Author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened

Her sentence is better than mine.

Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures by me from here. It came out last year and it isn’t even a re-release, I’m just tossing it in this bundle because I haven’t given a copy away in a long time. I asked myself to describe my book in one sentence and this is what I said:

I’m sorry I forced those guys to answer this question, that was lame. It’s just the usual illustrated parenting stories and stuff. And now I’m up to three sentences.


Enter below to win a copy of each of these books!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

(Books will be mailed separately from each author so you’ll get mail four times and feel really popular. Winner will be emailed and then displayed here above after it ends. Links above are Amazon affiliate links which means that if you purchase I get a few coins which helps support this site. Thanks!)

Posted in Effing Fours, food | 747 Comments