I zone out when I’m doing mundane tasks. Like sweeping or folding clothes or washing the dishes. I like to daydream about cheese platters, time travel and vampires.
But sometimes I’ll overhear something from the next room that snaps me back into reality.
It happened yesterday…
I’m washing the dishes. But I’m actually drawing crappy pictures and writing blog posts in my head.
Then I hear Crappy Boy’s voice:
He isn’t old enough for penis war!
Is Crappy Baby with him? What are they doing? The penis version of a thumb war? Holy crap!
I run to the bathroom expecting the worst.
However, he is alone. Standing in front of the toilet, swaying his hips back and forth and spraying pee everywhere.
He proudly explains that he is attacking the toilet with his pee laser.
Relieved that it isn’t the other thing I was imaging, I just say, “Okay” and return to writing and drawing posts in my head. Only now I have a new one. This one.
——————–
On facebook a few weeks back I wrote:
“Will my bathroom always smell like a July music festival porta-potty? Boys With Bad Aim is headlining.”
His toilet war explains it!
PS – On FB, Jessica linked to Weepals which are stickers that change color when you pee on it. I haven’t tried these but who doesn’t want to pee on a sticker?
PPS – I’m usually a boring vinegar, tea tree and baking soda type of gal but Kids&Pets sent me a bottle and I’ve been using it in the bathroom for the stink. Helping.
Bwahahaha! This gave me the laugh I needed today!
Haha! Oh, what am I in for when DS gets older.
lol at the penis war, I can just hear my own boys saying something like that. Or my husband, for that matter.
Without a doubt, I’m going to be shouting this at my wife sometime soon. In other news, I’m not going to get no satisfaction for the next month, probably.
Would you be anyway? : )
I don’t know. It’s a chicken vs. egg problem.
My bathroom smells like this too! Ew. And with an almost 9 year old boy, let me tell you that it doesn’t get better. Well, maybe a little bit, my husband seems ok! 🙂
Yes, we have penis pee lazers here too. Though he mostly uses his weaponry in the yard to kill the plants.
And insects. As a 5 y/o I made the mistake of having a penis war with a bee. The bee won. Try explaining that to your mother… I have an owie on my peepee… 😉
Whoo hooo! I am the first to comment!!
Um, no you’re not. And, really, who the eff cares?!
No need to be mean about it. She was obviously excited thinking she was first. Id be a tad happy too 🙂
HAHAHA!! Thanks for the laugh! 🙂 My toddler says often now that he’s potty training, “I got my pee-pees out and didn’t pee on my leg!” YAY for small accomplishments!
Hi! I love your blog! As a mom to five boys (and a baby girl..but she doesn’t count much, yet. She just sits and blows bubbles in her chair while watching the boys’ madness) – I totally understand this! LOL At the Penis War…in my house, it may be an actual penis war sometimes… haha But yes, the bathroom always smells horrible – now we know why!
I’m feeling happy that I have a daughter today!
Kids & Pets works great, we got some at a local pet store when our dog (she is ancient) started having accidents on the carpet.
haha!
A similar thing happened to me recently.. I was calmly tidying the hallway and my partner had to take his 4 year old son to the toilet as he often will go for hours without peeing unless his dad gives him a “race”.. What do I overhear? “DADDY!! YOU PEED ON ME!!!!!!!” Apparently even fully grown men haven’t always quite got the hang of aiming when having a race for who could pee first…. *sigh*!
Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I just laughed doubly hard after reading this reply! Thank you both for my belly laugh today. I didn’t realize having girls would smell so nice. 🙂
Do you ever watch Weeds? There was a whole zen moment when the uncle talks about “crossing streams” with the baby.
LOL! Penis Wars! I needed that today! Thank you for posting…
sounds like my bathroom!
oh my… starting to worry about the future bathroom escapades of my DS lol
This is hysterical. It’s amazing how early the obsession starts!
lol I love it as a mom of three with oldest being the same age as Crappy Boy I laugh and cry at the same time.
I’ve been told to throw Cheerios in the toilet so the boy has something to aim at.
yup, just about to say the same thing! And I *LOVE* Kids and Pets!
I tried that once. Then later I reiterated, “what goes in the toilet?” And his response? “cheerios!”
Agreed! I decided very early on that we would *not* use Cheerios to “aim” at because I’d be afraid he’d either a) cry as I threw them in (because he’d want to eat them or b) reach back in to try & “fish” them out to eat them…neither scenario very good for anyone involved…sitting it is…and so far, no “4th of July port-a-potty smell”!
Makes me glad I have girls!
Exactly what I was thinking, Sara! 🙂
Penis war! LOL
When I try to describe the smell in my bathroom, I usually just say it smells like a public restroom, but you really went the extra mile on that one! And this is why you have a blog and I do not.
I say my toddler son’s room smells like a ballpark bathroom.
Oh my goodness! That is hilarious. Well at least the little baby wasn’t in the room too.
LOL! The things they say so inncocently!
I might try that kids&pets thing. My 17-year-old Pit Bull is slowing down a bit, but she’s still smart enough to hide her pee in the worst places. She actually stood on top of the air condition vent and went there, so now there’s no escape.
You almost make me happy that our cat just goes on the carpet or any piece of clothing/towel that is left on the floor 🙂 Floor vents is the worst!!
You almost make me happy that our cat just goes on the carpet or any piece of clothing/towel that is left on the floor 🙂 Peeing down floor vents is the worst!!
I just burst out laughing at work with this one. Oh the fun I have to look forward to with my little guy.
FROOT LOOPS!
They are the answer to your penis war problem.
Have him put a handful of Froot Loops in the toilet, then aim for them with his cannon fire. they’re big enough to be targets and he can amuse himself by aiming for certain colors. And he will be peeing IN the toilet instead of ON the toilet. And his peeing will have a point.
Just make sure he knows not to eat them.
I’m so glad I have girls. Even though one once told me, “This princess doesn’t poop.” And she tried to make that happen. Her record was 8 days.
BAH HA HA HA HAAAAAA!!!!!! I have 3 boys (and one surprise one the way), this made me LOL! Seriously, dying laughing here, hahaha! I was totally expecting the “penis war” to be the other thing, lol…which is totally what I’d expect to find from my 3 & 5 year olds, hah!
Oh goodness. That will certainly lead to sticky pee in the crease at the base of the toilet. Both my girls manage to get pee down there. I don’t know how, it magically appears there and smells like a public restroom. They are also drawn to our microfiber couch like a magnet if they need to vomit. I’ve experimented with everything to get out tough odors. Our secret (or not so secret) weapon has become alcohol mixed with baking soda. It takes out the odor every single time.
So that is why our bathroom smells so bad! LOL… going to check out the stickers. I think we need them.
I am planning to make my son sit. Despite the fact that the Germans insult a guy’s masculinity by calling him a sitzpinkler (one who sits to pee). We’ll just never move to Germany, that’s all.
mine sit on the toilet (the older one less often) and they still manage to pee between the seat and the toilet so it runs onto the floor, I must clean the floor around it 10 times a day!
Yep, mine still do that if they decide to pee while they are sitting to poop. Not only the floor; they have also peed on the opposite wall. “POINT YOUR NUTTERS DOWN!!” has become my battle cry every time they get up there.
As a gradeschooler, I must admit that the other second graders and myself would hold contests to see if anyone could hit the ceiling. One kid did. He was the king of lunch-time bathroom stops.
Oh god…I’m shaking my head & fearing the worst from my rambunctious 3 yr old who I am most certain will try this some day…(note to self: ask husband if he ever tried this)
Luckily my husband sits to pee (except if he is in public then apparently he stands at the urinal). He says he thinks it’s gross when pee and toilet water splash when he stands. THANK GOD! This makes my life a lot easier, no pee smell and no raised toilet seats! My DS (2) we have taught to sit. 1) He learned at first when he was on his little floor potty to sit, 2) At school they have the mini-toilets and they prefer them sit, 3)he is young and short and couldn’t reach anyway. But he sees mommy AND daddy sit to pee so that is how it stays! At first he had “through the toilet seat crack” accidents, but I make him clean it up himself (he knows where the cleaning spray is). He only had to forget to hold it down a few times. Now he says, “I hold my penis down so I not tee tee on toilet”. He is a little OCD himself and doesn’t like dirty things so any dribble of pee anywhere other than in the pot he immediately cleans it up – I don’t complain! LOL. He knows that he CAN pee standing up, because we travel alot and have many roadside potty breaks. But he knows he stands only to pee on grass when no potty is available.
YAY! Maybe there is hope!
Your blog posts are always so funny Amber! Thanks for bringing laughter to all of us reading them. I discovered your blog in an article in an Australian newspaper last year, and haven’t stopped reading it since that and being back in Ireland.
A Frenchie reader
LOL O.M.G. I need to share this with my sister. Her and her hubs adopted a baby boy. Hmm I guess they’ll have to figured it out… LOL
OMG – still laughing! My boys (ages 2 1/2 and nearly 4) were in the bathtub last night comparing their penises… And yesterday afternoon, the younger one told me he was taking his penis out (as he pulled down his diaper) because that’s what his big brother told him to do. Sigh…really? How did I really never see this coming! LOL
Love how you just went “Oh, OK” and back to the dishes 😀 This is my reaction to 90% of what my 20 month old son gets up to now. Peas being hurled instead of eaten? “Good aim, but here, lets try a bowl next time.” Credit cards getting decorated with crayon? “Wow, that’s pretty. We’ll take a picture and hang it on the wall!” The only thing that I get upset about anymore is when he smacks the cats with sticks or throws his cars at the TV…. my brain is probably overloaded….
Wow- apparently there is a whole other world I am missing by having a girl… That just cracked me up!!!
Oh my goodness, this cracked me up (as usual). I have 2 boys, 4.5 years old and 9 months old. So far I just have to deal with the one peeing all over but it never ceases to amaze me that someone so close to the height of the toilet can miss it so often. Sigh.
When he was just learning, I did this: http://www.buildsewreap.com/2010/12/x-marks-spot.html
Thanks for adding illustrations to my life, I mean, your life, so I know my life is so so normal (aka just like yours).
Oh NO! We have three girls and I’m prego with baby #4… everyone is voting boy but after reading the icky of boys Im praying another GIRL!!!
Boys aren’t THAT bad! I have 2 boys, and they can be a lot of fun! They can be very entertaining with their boy antics. No girls yet, but we’re hoping next time!
I use kids n pets too. It’s awesome. I especially love using it in my rug scrubber.
OMG Reminder to self, do not read this blog when drinking coffee! Laughing so hard I snorted coffee!! Too funny! We used toilet targets when my son was little. Wish he would use them now at 22!
My mil gave us a picture for my son’s bathroom which reads “my aim is to keep thus bathroom clean, your aim will help”
Awesome.
when my mom worked at a daycare she used to use those things with the toddlers 2 and 3. One father complained about it being gross to have kids try to pee on something. My mom was like “it’s in the toilet o.O they are supposed to pee in the toilet”
I have 3 boys – 12, 10, 8. Clorox wipes are my best friend. I could kiss on the lips the man who looked at a roll of paper towels and a bottle of Clorox and said “What if…?” I mean, really, genius! Next to peanut butter & chocolate, the best combination ever!
It never ceases to amaze me that most boys and men spend their entire lives shooting/hitting/pushing some sort of ball into some sort of hole (basketball, golf, etc.), yet cannot get pee to go directly into a toilet. Why is hand/eye coordination different when it comes to peeing?
OMG KIDS N PETS!!!!! Sorry for the all caps, but OMG KIDS N PETS! I used to buy that stuff religiously until Walmart stopped carrying it. Now I can’t find it anywhere, not even pet stores.
It’s great for pee, but also puke. Even in carpet.
The store locator on their website found it for me, but I am skeptical. Could it be that it’s always been there, they just changed the aisle?? I’m kind of excited now…
I have overheard my 2 boys (ages 4 and 8) in the bathroom peeing at the same time. “It’s a swirling vortex of pee! Look at all those bubbles we made!” I just have to laugh and hope it all goes in the toilet. 🙂
Tears are running down my face! Thanks for the laugh, again! So sorry you have all the pee to worry about though, gah…
Thankfully, my 3 yr old hasn’t declared a penis war yet, though he does manage to have “peepee accidents” when he waits too long and pees all over the floor in front of the toilet. He then strips off all peed clothing and casually walks the house sans pants. What’s your vinegar/tea tree/baking soda recipe?
Kids&Pets totally rocks (anything that gets the smell of “frow up” out of my son’s carseat is alright by me), but not as much as your crappy pictures. 🙂
You can add orange or lemon peals to plain old vinegar to make it smell better for cleaning 🙂
(but kids and pets works great! And it kinda smells like bubblegum)
Glad Penis Wars was not what you envisioned.
Wait for crappy baby to get older and for them to watch star wars; they might have “light saber” duals with their pee streams when they pee at the same time like my boys have done.
“Will my bathroom always smell like a July music festival porta-potty? Boys With Bad Aim is headlining.” – LOL!!! I literally just cracked up at desk at work. Ahhh, the pre-kids days with festival porta-potty…I miss that.
So….my son is 15 and still misses the toilet sometimes. The good news is I make him responsible for cleaning it up. The bad news is he’s a 15 year old boy and does a 15 year old boy’s job of cleaning it up…
I have a seven-year-old, who told me, ‘I’m mulki-tarsting, mummy.’ Turns out he was cleaning his teeth (badly) whilst weeing (everywhere).
Yet more proof that it’s very difficult, if not impossible, to truly multi-task well!
The first thing I thought when the sonogram tech informed me that both Baby A and Baby B were boys is that I will never have a clean bathroom again. They’re still in diapers now, but they are very fond of Nakey Time and will proudly pee on the floor if we don’t get them into a post-bath diaper quickly enough. Ugh. Even though my husband is an insanely tidy guy, back when we were apartment living and had separate bathrooms, his *still* smelled TERRIBLE. Horrible, awful, terrible, even if he had just cleaned it. Ugh, ugh, ugh.
I hear you. After 3 girls, I thought twin boys would be fun. Until they were potty-trained. Oh, the stench.
We have a tree/bush in our front yard that I dislike because it is in a bad place and I keep threatening to cut it down but my husband won’t let me. So when the green started turning brown and dying I was a little bit glad that nature was going to take care of the problem for me. When I pointed this out to my husband he got a weird look on his face and then mentioned that he may have been peeing on the tree right in the spot where it was dying. Sadly, the tree is just fine after he stopped peeing on it.
LMFAO.
Men are silly.
*Front* yard? that sounds like the challenge to pee off the frat balcony back in college. Hmm–and ya had to tell him to stop doing it? lol
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! I laugh at ALL your blog posts, but that may possibly be the best yet.
When potty training at day care I’d use fruit loops or cheerios in the toilet for aiming. The older boys would toss a few in and make an attempt to “sink the battleships!”
Uh… Mom to 3 girls here, and I grew up with a sister… What exactly is a penis war?
PA!! This is brilliant, just brilliant. Thanks for making me laugh out loud!
My boys are 3 and 4. They like to pee together and cross streams. It’s lovely. I’m such a proud mother.
Lovely 🙂
I meant to say then, you can also buy little floaty ping pong balls with faces to pee on. Don’t have a link but a quick google will find them. x
http://www.boots.com/en/On-Target-Training-Balls-2Pack_1046522/
I was imagining weird version of a ‘thumb war’ too.
I have two little boys… I feel like nothing like that will ever surprise me.
When I toilet-trained my son, I taught him to pee sitting down. It saved a lot of mess. Unfortunately, it also meant that he didn’t learn to pee standing up like other boys. He was afraid that he’d pee on his clothes and just refused to learn. My husband and I were concerned that this might get him some negative comments from his peers when he went to school. However, being rather clever, he figured out a plan.
“I just say, ‘Hey! Who’ll dare me pee like a girl?’ Then someone dares me, and I can pee sitting down.”
Genius.
I laughed so hard I cried when I read this! Your son is a genius 🙂
I have three boys. 6, 4, and 1. My 6 and 4-year-old pee at the same time sometimes! It’s quite the excitement. They yell, “Make an X!” and cross streams. Then the giggle hysterically.
Lol! Boys!
My husband caught (and redirected) my 4-year-old absentmindedly resting his “junk” on my 3-year-old son’s head the other day while they were watching TV. (For the kids, pants are always optional at our house, lol) My 3-year-old thought nothing of it. Which makes me wonder, How often does this happen when I’m not looking?
Never thought to try the Kids&Pets in the bathroom! I used it to get cat smell out of furniture, and it worked really well!
My boys used to “tongue wrestle”. I had these awful images of them being the weird brothers in elementary school who french kiss. I told them they had to stop and when they asked why I went with “germs.”
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HAHHA HA HA HA
I have two little girls…and after reading the original post and the comments, I have to say that I WANT TO BE A BOY!!!
omg, they pee standing up, they get to play “You Sunk My Battleship” with Fruit Loops in the toilet (among other fun shooting games), they get to draw their names in the snow (I tried this once at a winter camping thing…failed miserably, peed on my down booties – there was alcohol involved), they get to have Sword Fights!
What do we get? We get to sit down and once a month, bleed out. Fuck.
“We get to sit down”
Yeah, but when we sit down we can read shampoo labels! Or play iPad games. Or manicure. Or look at the floor and remember it needs cleaning…
Kids & Pets is awesome! Just had to put that out there 🙂
Baa Haa!! I love that you just walked away when it wasn’t what you (and I) were afraid it might be. Everything in life is a matter of perspective, right?? Me and my boys, 7 and 3, are right there with you! 🙂
Is it bad that as soon as I saw 1-2-3-4.. I knew what it was going to say before I’d scrolled down? I have a 7 year old boy. I guess that explains my psychic powers. 😉
So, if you go to the pet store and get a product called natures miracle, it will remove the pee smell. I have used it on everything from pet urine, to sick human urine. It gets rid of poo smell, poo stains, food stains, anything organic! Fantastic stuff! Also, it is just an enzyme, so it is completely safe around pets and kids!! Buy the gallon. It sounds like you are gonna need it!!
I did just hear that Nature’s Miracle is a different formula now – a pet store clerk told me that the partnership split up, and one guy got the name while the other got the formula, and that Nature’s Miracle doesn’t work as well anymore (maybe still well enough..?). Apparently the guy with the formula makes Petastic (like “fantastic”), a newer product. (confirmed by this link I just found: http://www.petastic.com/stain.html)
I do also love Kids and Pets – not sure which is best of them, but those have to be the top three brands!
I thought it was some new version of thumb-warring too! Like… sword-fighting… or… something… …awkward…
Thank you.
I needed that laugh.
I was not expecting this post (nor were you) and it was really funny (at least from this side of the computer).
Yeah, this is exactly why I’m in no big rush to potty train my toddler. Especially if he is an unwilling participant; I forsee lots of protesting in the form of Penis War spray. Hilarious!
My son sings. Even in the public restroom.
I have three boys, well, one husband and two boy children who are going through PTing. I’m afraid of the that stinky July festival smell!!!! I think I shall install a urinal in the garage and tell them to have at it.
Hahahahahahahahaha! I have a 1 year old boy. This should get exciting!
Oh my gosh! I am sitting here at work laughing out loud at my desk….. so THIS is what I have to look forward to?! 😀
My husband was peeing and my 2-year old son earnestly went up to him with his toothbrush stretched out in his hand in front of him and said ‘wawa?’ (water).
Well, when you can’t reach the sink yourself, how else are you going to get your toothbrush wet?! I think my husband might have sprayed a little from laughing 🙂
Here is a funny Penis story for you mom’s of boys: I was in a different room and I hear DS (2) yell, “mommy, help me, it won’t stop”. I run over to see him naked messing with his penis. I ask what’s wrong and he says, “I was just touching it and it got too big!!!” I yell out for daddy to come quick because it indeed was “big” and in the meantime I tell him to stop touching it. DS says, “No, mommy, I like touching it, it tickles, but then it just got so big! Help me!” I yell louder for the hubs to get over here. When he finally gets there I hand the DS to him and say – “this is your domain, I got nothin’!”. I sat outside the bathroom while my DH tries to explain to my 2 year old about erections.
Lol! I have a similar story. My two year old, who is now 12, was potty training. He went in the bathroom one morning to go pee, and he started screaming. I ran in and he was screaming, “Get it out! Get it out!” I asked him what and he said, “There’s a battery in my penis! Get it out! Get it out!” and guess what… No battery, but his little morning erection was the size of a double a battery. As I was single then, I basically had to seat him on the toilet, and convince him to pee so it would go away. Man, he was devastated and do convinced some bad guy had shoved a battery in hisboenis while he was sleeping!
Sorry for the typos… Typing on my iPod here…
Lol! My boys weren’t alarmed but enamored. We have to remind the “hands” quite often and my oldest just looks at me and says “but I like to!”
I recently bought something called “Nature’s Miracle” at the pet store, sounds very similar to Kids and Pets.
It is possible to teach your boy to sit and point down….just did it. Now if only I can get him to poop in the toilet….. he will one day, right? 🙂
Hubby once found my two older boys pretending to be twins at the toilet. They were standing on either side of the toilet and of course both misaimed and peed on the other. Twins always pee together right?
Regarding your bathroom smelling like a port-a-potty… I learned year ago from a male housemate that boys can sit. Yes S-I-T on their bottoms while peeing. I now have two boys of my own and the house rule is they must sit. If they want to stand in public to look cool, then more power to them.
I’ve got a 13 year old – the bathroom still smells like a litter box half the time. Pee on the seat is the biggest source of arguments in the house!
Hahahaha oh my God, I love this. I’m so glad I subscribed to this blog. 😀
Ironically it’s my daughter who pees all over the toilet instead of in the bowl. She is scared of toilets – the noise they make, the big hole she might fall into – so she sits right on the very edge. She told me the other day, “Mommy my butt isn’t big enough to fit on the toilet – it needs to get bigger!” I assured her it would! LOL!!
Would a chamber-pot be a solution? It’s what was used in upmarket homes before indoor plumbing.
Mmmm … 3 boys, 2 of which have graduated, boys bathroom is still uninhabitable by other humans even for short periods of time, cleaned it over & over, tried everything, their super human boy pee smell penetrates & becomes permanent part of ceramic tiles, porcelain fixtures, whole house will be nuked, razed & buried when last boy flies the coop … so not kidding!
My picky hubby makes my 2 boys sit to go if they make that kind of mess. Of course he is the one that scrubs the toilets. Teach them now for the sake of your future daughter in law.
Ha ha ha ha ha! I daydream about cheese balls.
I kinda wonder about the end result of the color-changing stickers–can’t imagine that lovely little boys would cause a reaction, then not want to wear them on their shirts or pull ’em out to show mom!
Funny!
I have 2 boys (5 and 8) and I two thought I would never have a pee free bathroom again then I surprised them with a new chore! They have to wipe the bathroom down everytime they pee! It was amazing but within 2 days they magically learned to aim!
Why don’t they make weepals for husbands?? Like maybe a naked lady or a basketball could appear??
I walked in on my 4 & 6 year olds playing ring toss in the tub. But for rings, they were using dinosaurs. So it was more of a penis mash. Can’t remember what turn of phrase made me clue into what they were doing, but… Yep.
I <3 Kids&Pet. Only thing, while it neutralizes the pee odors, you need to wipe up after it with water sometimes because whatever it turns the smelly pee proteins into is sticky.
ahahaha! I wish you would draw crappy pictures everday. 🙂
My mother-in-law taught my two oldest sons to have “sword fights” with their pee. Try loved the idea. Me? Not so much. Thanks for a good laugh!
LOL. This is what life on other side looks like? my 3 Y.O girl is a stickler for cleanliness. At least when it concerns her. Before popping on to the toilet, she has to douse the toilet seat with lots and lots of water (just in case you know someones made it yucky!) and wipes it clean with lots and lots of toilet paper. And repeats this cycle after she is done! And BECAUSE she has done HER part of cleaning already, all of that toilet paper (gooey and wet) goes onto floor from where mom has to scoop it up! I would take a filthy toddler any day!
You know what makes their aim worse? MUCH WORSE?
When they wake up with tiny erections.
I always know I’m going in to clean a disgusting mess when my son whines…”MOMMY! My penis is too big!”
This comment always illicites a big smile from my husband.
Just wanted to say a massive thank you for the shout out for Weepals, I really appreciate it and appreciate all the people that are buying our stickers.
Thanks again
Jess
I have to learn to stop reading your blog while drinking coffee…it always goes up my nose while I’m laughing. So…by vampires…are you more of an Edward girl or that hot Alex Skaarsgard type of gal???? 😉
I was zoning on FB one day at nap time and heard my oldest who is 5 get up. He came in here and said he needed to go pee. Whatever. Go pee! 5 seconds later, I hear his 3 year old brother saying, “Oh, you gonna get yourself wet. And mama gonna be MAAAADDDD!” I flip around and he is peeing in my refrigerator. Not joking. I have convinced myself that it wasn’t on purpose and he must have been sleep walking… even though he was talking. That is the only way I have gotten through the horror.
oh my goodness that is hilarious, i nearly snorted tea out my nose! My partner had to come and have a look at what i was reading. His response WTF lol
Have him sit down when peeing. I hear that guys are less messy that way, including grown men.
*lightbulb moment*
This explains why my bathroom always stinks! Pesky boys and their pesky wee lasers! I can sleep at night now. Thank-you!
Ps, change colour stickers sound awesome. I’m off to Google. Anything that stops the smell. Even accidentally peeing on himself hasn’t stopped the wee laser! *sigh*
this literally made me laugh out loud at work! thanks for a much needed laugh to start off the day!
I guess it all depends on the child really but….I have a 9 year old. There is always pee on the seat (cuz he doesn’t life the lid), pee on the floor, (aim is apparently still a problem), never flushes, and leaves the light on AND doesn’t wash his hands. GOD FORBID I correct him, I get the attitude I always associated with 16 year old kids. Oh well he lives with his dad part-time I put the blame there, cuz I’m not a boy. But the penis war thing is hysterical!!
I heard of an elementary school that painted a bulls-eye in the bottom of the boys’ toilets and urinals w/bright red fingernail polish. Apparently they just can’t resist aiming at a target, because it made a huge difference in keeping the bathroom clean(er)!
The key to a good aim is to sit down – simple as that.
Hi-larious! My 5 year old had a penis discovery in the bathtub the other day. He said his penis was drinking the water. Hmm. What could he have been doing, I wonder?
I highly recommend getting a toilet seat with the easily detaching hinges. It enables you to take the whole seat off easily and clean UNDER the hinges, because yes, it’s under there, too.
-mom of 4, one of whom has special needs and, at age 15, is still the number one producer of pee-related stink around the toilet
Duuuude–I am SO glad my boys are the not the only ones lol–I have four boys, the oldest is 5…just this past week, Boy #2 turned four and HOOZAM!! Phallic stage just SLAMMED in lol…And just yesterday, he begged me to let him just be naked around the house (because wearing only teeny tiny tighty whiteys and a cape ISN’T already naked?!) and insisted that since God makes us this way when we “come outta there” (??!), we should be naked all the time. Fried by that time of the day, I just said, “We live in Colorado–close to the sun. YOu’ll get sunburned.” With a stroke of genius he replied, “Mama–I MUST get my penis some sunglasses then, and an umbrella. Can Grandma get me that for my birthday present?” (((head shake)))…
Thank you, I’ve just spent 15 minutes googling potty training toilet targets. My son is only 4 months old. Think I’m getting a little ahead of myself, but I like to be prepared. =D