I am officially an uncool parent

We have reached a new stage. A new level.

My children no longer think I am cool. Neither of them.

So uncool, in fact, that they try to be as unlike me as they possibly can.

They know they are doing it. I know they are doing it. It has become an ongoing joke.

 


We are talking about things we like.

They insist that they like nothing that I like. Because everything I like is lame.

But just how committed are they to being different?

I will list things that I like and see if they agree with me on anything.

I start with something I know they will easily claim distaste for:

They roll their eyes at me.

So I pick another cliché for them to easily hate on:

You see, them believing I am uncool makes me BE uncool. On purpose. Because it is fun.

So I pick an even worse one:

They are starting to get annoyed by my undeniable uncoolness.

What they do not know is that I am doing this on purpose. I could easily say Star Wars or candy or any number of things they would have to agree with me on. But that is no fun.

So I make it just a little bit trickier:

They falter only for a moment.

Who likes sunny days? Lame people, that’s who.

So then I drop one that will undeniably give them pause but still fits in with the theme:

But they are resolute.

They have betrayed the fuzzy kittens of the world. Betrayed their true feelings. Just to prove a point.

So I relent.

This is his typical answer.

Then Crappy Baby pipes up with:

So I guess his reasoning:

And they realize how ridiculous this all is.

They then admit that unicorns, rainbows and daisies are okay.

And that they do, in fact, like fuzzy kittens.

However, they want to be clear on one thing:

Fair enough.

 

Are you an uncool parent yet?


No fuzzy kittens were hurt in the making of this post. Except their feelings. 

No, I do not believe it is important to be cool in the eyes of your children. At all. It isn’t about you, it is about them. They are trying things out. Trying on new likes, dislikes, beliefs, etc. They are shaping their own identities, separate from you. This is a good thing! Just continue to be your awesome lame self and let them do their thing.

Crappy Parenting Tip: I highly recommend being even MORE lame and uncool on purpose. Occasionally. It can be very entertaining.     

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51 Responses to I am officially an uncool parent

  1. Karen says:

    Oh boy yes right there with ya as I am completely uncool in the eyes of my daughter who is 12 now.

  2. Heather K. says:

    LOL, here too with so much eye rolling.

  3. Liz says:

    Raises hand to check into the official uncool mom club. It just started this last year when my oldest turned 11. I admit it hurt my feelings a little at first but I like your attitute about being even more silly on purpose. So happy you are back, Crappy Mom!

  4. Kathy M says:

    So uncool. But they humor me in my uncoolness. They’re really sweet 😆❤️

  5. Sbzitz says:

    My 6 year old likes to tell me how I can’t embarrass him when he’s “a teen” so I like to tell him how I’ll pick him up from school every day in onesie pajamas just to watch him freak out. Lameness overload.

  6. cindy says:

    My kids (12-year-old twins) really hate it when I use slang, like “YASSSSSS” or “seems legit” or whatever. So now it’s my favorite thing to do in front of them, just for their reactions.

  7. Anne says:

    When my two became teens they both developed this breathing problem…every time I spoke, especially if there was a request involved, they immediately started sighing and groaning.

  8. Gila says:

    My 14 year old needed a shirt to take to youth group paint night thing. She needed one that could get ruined. I offered her one of mine. “Oh no that’s a Mommy shirt. I can’t take that.” That’s right. My shirts are too uncool to ruin.

  9. Melinda says:

    My kids are a little older than yours (always have been, but that never stopped me from loving your posts). They are actually adults now, although one is still technically a teenager. We recently made the mistake of playing What Do You Meme together and discovered both that “adult” parties games are not meant to be played with multiple generations of the same family (no exceptions) and that there are a lot of memes that I needed some schooling on. It was hilariously embarrassing and will not be repeated. In fact, the game was a gift for me, but my older son borrowed it and I never intend to ask for it back.

  10. Shann says:

    When my eldest boy started with this, I changed his laptop screensaver every day to stuff like My Little Pony, Teletubbies and Justin Beiber. I am a troll-mom.

  11. Fiona says:

    I still do it, and my boys are 30, 24 and 22. It’s still fun. 🙂

  12. Sarah Hissin says:

    I won’t be cool until I get my 10 year-old daughter a phone like her friends… check back with me in 6 years:-)

  13. Linda says:

    I love your PSA at the end. <3 Like a lot. Mostly because it's so stupid that you have to even add it. But I get it.

  14. Al. says:

    Beeing uncool is my favourite part of parenthood. Finally my time to ”shine” has come. Moahahaa!

  15. Monica says:

    The good news is that when they get older, you will be cool again.

  16. calam says:

    Strangely, I am very cool when we are all at their school…it’s still elementary school after all. However, at home my 9yr is, “UGH” and “that is your OPINION” and mystifying disagreement with everything. So far the 7yr is still okay with me…

    Parenting, it is a journey. 😀

  17. Miranda says:

    Oh no! When does this start? I still cool with my 3 😂🙄 soncool they find everything I do amazing and want to follow me to every room 🙄 even the bathroom. My middle child has based if he can even help me wipe 😳😳

  18. Jessica says:

    Uncool parent hack:

    If your kid is doing something that annoys you (like “dabbing” all the time), embrace it. Start doing the thing yourself enthusiastically. It will immediately become uncool.

  19. Eleanor says:

    My oldest is just entering this phase, it is so much fun! I especially love making him groan with my “dad” jokes, and threatening to be embarrassing in front of his friends.

    My mum also lives with us and I still have to cringe when she uses one of my teenage catchphrases (even more uncool because they are 20+ years out of date).

  20. Angie says:

    I like to sing songs they say they don’t like, quite loud, and wait to catch them singing said song at a later time. Occasionally in the style of ‘opera’ or ‘honky tonk’ to make it extra annoying.
    Hey, they annoy me on purpose so it’s my turn now.

  21. Stephanie says:

    You don’t become cool again until they become parents. I’m in a limbo land now…my oldest, who is expecting her second now thinks I’m pretty cool. My youngest, who is about to start high school thinks I’m the un-coolest!

  22. Jessica says:

    haha, thats funny! Although my oldest is 9 yet, the eye rolling and the “you just dont get it ” and “why do I have to clean my room”have already started. nine. NI-NE. Am I going to survive teen years? youngest is 2 (TWO YEARS old), + 2 kids inbetween. at some point I will have 4 teenagers. the more tips you give, the better I *might* survive. Or I will just pull all my hair out and cry…

  23. Emily says:

    Oh, how I wish you had been there when I was suffering thru this. My son is much more secure as a parent than I ever was.

  24. Hayley says:

    I’m still cool because my kids are only 2 and 6. They still want to be like me and do everything I do. 😆

  25. Jennifer Gaebe says:

    I’m still cool but boy am I stupid! In my daughter’s eyes I am apparently the stupidest person in the whole world. My answers to any of her questions are immediately suspect and bound to be found wrong because of my stupidity. She is 7. I am screwed.

  26. Rhonda Pike says:

    I am not cool but not as uncool as their dad…which counts as a win for me!

  27. Chrissy says:

    My oldest (10), is distancing himself from anything he thinks of as childish, anything he liked when he was little especially. Sesame Street is obviously not ok, Backyardigans is dumb, anything on PBS-even Wild Krafts!- not happening. And he won’t have anything to do with Cars, I could not convince him to watch the new movie.

    But kid will watch Moana everyday! Lol. Shhhhhh 🤫

  28. Stephanie B. says:

    I tell my son (8) that eye-rolling is good exercise, which inevitably makes his eyes roll. I am an “uncool” mom according to him, but he still tells me I’m the best mom ever, so that’s a win.

  29. jess says:

    I like to sing really loud to 80s music when we go through the drive thru…my almost 12 year old seems to really love that. I also offer to roll down my window and shout her name and I love you at car pool drop off…. Death glares make me smile.

  30. Rosie says:

    My boys told me I lost my sense of humor…and I’m a robot….all because I’m trying to get them to school on time so I can be on time for work. Robots rule!

  31. Angie says:

    I’m totally uncool except that my 11 year old son taught me to dab and I perfected it. Now they laugh at me because I can do it the right way. My 13 year old daughter looked at her brother as if he betrayed her and all cool kids by teaching me the proper way to dab. She rolls her eyes every time I do it and I just keep doing it more! Soon the dab will b uncool!

  32. Karen Walker says:

    My kids are young adults now, but I always considered it part of my job to become uncool in the eyes of my kids — a right of passage that signifies that I’m doing my job as a parent. It means that my kids are comfortable and confident enough to voice their own opinions (even if they change them incessantly) and start to discover their own life paths. The parents that my kids have at times thought were really cool, are the ones I was careful about leaving them with. Too often, they’re “adults” in age only: overly lax in boundaries, accountability and sometimes safety. Worse, they often compete with their own kids for attention. Fortunately, my kid’s initial awe is soon replaced with distain once they figure this out themselves. So, congrats, Amber! You’re doing great.

  33. LMW says:

    Since my son was about 6, I started standing around on the playground in the morning and chatting with him kinda loudly, using whatever ‘cool’ word he was over-using the crap out of. It made the word instantly uncool and so he stopped using it. That trick has staved off the Great Tide of Basically, the Avalanche of Literally, and the Flood of Like.

  34. I “adopted” my best friends 6 year old grandson. He befriended me when he was all of 3 and for now I’m his second favourite person after his mom. Last weekend we watched marathon episodes of his big sister’s show “My Little Pony” and after polishing her nails, he let us talk him into polishing his.
    I know soon he will break my heart by declaring me “not cool” until then, I’m enjoying him, keeping me young.

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