It happens almost every afternoon. They invite me to play on the rug with them.
And I don't wanna.
It is that their invitation always arrives during my peak "extreme sleep risk" hours. And sitting on a rug increases the risk.
These are the hours. Roughly:
This has to do with cortisone or seratonin or circadian rhythms or something like that. I'm not going to look this up for you because knowing the scientific reason behind something doesn't make it go away.
So the rug.
They lure me to it like Sirens.
And I crash down onto it.
Sitting leads to reclining.
So I lay down.
For one blissful second.
We don't have lions in our family room. I pointed this out once. Explained it to them. They responded by jumping on my head, pretending to be lions. So I'm not going to point this out again.
The fact that they always jump on me is a good thing. Makes me feel safe falling asleep for two whole seconds. They haven't ever tiptoed away and smeared the walls with lipstick. Nah. They go for the lipstick when I'm cooking dinner.
So last Tuesday something else happened…
It starts out exactly the same.
Rug invitation. I sit on rug. Recline on rug. Lay down on rug. Sleep.
I know what you are thinking and I would be thinking it too, except I'm, you know, asleep.
Probably they are destroying something valuable. Probably they will wake me up by dumping a glass of water on my head. Probably they backed off the rug to get a running start to jump on me like a trampoline.
Instead, I'm woken by a blanket being gently draped over me.
He asks me if I need cars.
I'm not sure what this means exactly but I agree. I'll agree to absolutely anything this little guys suggests right now. If he asks me for a pony I will sell the family car to get him one. Immediately. But he doesn't.
He simply gingerly places two cars on top of the blanket.
I am all set to nap. They are giving me permission!
So of course I am totally awake.
And I get up to go play.