We live in a large city so we see some weird stuff sometimes.
We’re driving in the car. We pass a corner with a guy on it:
Not just any guy. A guy wearing a jester’s hat screaming something about the end of the world. In between real words he just makes loud sounds. His hair is all matted together but not in the cool dreadlock sort of way, in the “I wear a tin foil hat to sleep at night” sort of way.
Naturally, there are questions:
I explain that the guy was “a little nutty” after briefly considering saying he was “batshit crazy”. I softened it a bit for tender ears.
Plus, who am I to judge? If he wants to wear funny hats and scream things on street corners that is okay. I’m feeling open-minded today. He might be a perfectly nice guy. He probably volunteers and opens doors for people.
Crappy Boy asks for clarification. He isn’t sure what nutty means.
I stumble here, trying to think of ways to explain it. Do I tell him that perhaps the man’s brain isn’t working properly? How do you describe insanity to a five-year-old?
But Crappy Boy comes up with his own definition:
Ha ha ha! Yes, ‘not like other humans’ is exactly what ‘nutty’ means. I laugh and laugh at how appropriate his definition is. It is just perfect.
He asks me why I’m laughing:
Crappy Baby joins our conversation by saying “I’m a human bean!”
I’m laughing so hard I can barely drive!
All this time he thought we were saying ‘beans’? Ha ha ha!
I pull over and I laugh until tears run down my cheeks. He is laughing too.
Don’t mind us, we’re just a car full of slightly nutty human beans.