We live in a large city so we see some weird stuff sometimes.
We’re driving in the car. We pass a corner with a guy on it:
Not just any guy. A guy wearing a jester’s hat screaming something about the end of the world. In between real words he just makes loud sounds. His hair is all matted together but not in the cool dreadlock sort of way, in the “I wear a tin foil hat to sleep at night” sort of way.
Naturally, there are questions:
I explain that the guy was “a little nutty” after briefly considering saying he was “batshit crazy”. I softened it a bit for tender ears.
Plus, who am I to judge? If he wants to wear funny hats and scream things on street corners that is okay. I’m feeling open-minded today. He might be a perfectly nice guy. He probably volunteers and opens doors for people.
Crappy Boy asks for clarification. He isn’t sure what nutty means.
I stumble here, trying to think of ways to explain it. Do I tell him that perhaps the man’s brain isn’t working properly? How do you describe insanity to a five-year-old?
But Crappy Boy comes up with his own definition:
Ha ha ha! Yes, ‘not like other humans’ is exactly what ‘nutty’ means. I laugh and laugh at how appropriate his definition is. It is just perfect.
He asks me why I’m laughing:
Human beans!!!
Crappy Baby joins our conversation by saying “I’m a human bean!”
I’m laughing so hard I can barely drive!
All this time he thought we were saying ‘beans’? Ha ha ha!
I pull over and I laugh until tears run down my cheeks. He is laughing too.
Don’t mind us, we’re just a car full of slightly nutty human beans.
I think I was around 10 when I realized it was “Human beings”, and not “human beans”. Crappy Boy and I must have gotten our ears at the same place!
Same here.
My brother, too!
amazing!
Kids DO say the darndest things! I’m just grateful that my kids’ humdingers don’t occur while I’m driving. That would be dangerous.
ooo i see what you did there.
What?
HAHAHA, sneaky plug.
The hyperlink? I could have retold the whole story in the comments, but a link is just faster. And I certainly don’t mind other people leaving links to a blog post of theirs in my comments, so long as what they are linking to is related to the topic at hand, of course. It’s just a part of the blogging conversation.
I keep a book of the funny things my boys say like that!
That is awesome. And I think I have seen the same guy. At least he wasn’t loudly arguing with himself…wouldn’t that be terrible, to argue out loud and not get along with the voices in your head?
bwahahaha
At least the voices in my head usually agree with each other. “Should I have another brownie?” “Yes, they look delicious!” “I agree!”
It’s a good thing not to have any inner conflict like that – especially when it comes to brownies.
That was just awesome…
Tasty tasty beans!
major giggles over here
I used to think it was human beans too. I’ll bet most kids do. Like, what is a being? Not something tangible to a child. Thanks for the laugh!
When my oldest son started preschool, he came home and proudly told me that he had learned there was another name for “Purell”. In PRE-SCHOOL, he informed me, they call it “hand fertilizer”.
I work in a PreK classroom and most of our kids think it is called “hanitizer”. I keep stressing “haND SANitizer” but still they ask me for some “hanitizer”… so hey, at least yours picked up on the fact that there are two words there!
I really like the word “hanitizer”! It’s perfect.
When my 4yo was younger he called it hanitizer too.
I worked in preschool for 4 years and not a single child did I have that did NOT call it “hanitizer” lol
At our house we call it ‘clean fingers’
At our house we call it “if you drink that you will die.”
^^ LMAO
Or, “remember that time you vomited all over your car seat and Mommy called Poison Control?”
Oh, no!
Excellent
I love this! Until my mid-twenties, I thought it was “Chester Drawers” instead of Chest OF Drawers! I still get teased about it to this day. I can’t help it my mom said it too fast for me to understand! I guess I thought a guy named Chester first designed that piece of furniture! LOL
OMG I’m 23 and just now learned that it’s chest OF drawers myself! And I only learned this thanks to good old craigslist! I always wondered why do they call it chester drawers anyways lmao
Hey “Chester Drawers” isn’t so farfetched, after all “Chesterfield” (not even joking, look it up!) is another name for a sofa and that makes even LESS sense!
My DH is 35 and *still* insists it’s Chester Drawers. When I ask him who Chester is, he just shrugs and says, “I don’t know, but it’s Chester Drawers.”
If it makes you feel better I knew a gal who was pretty smart in a lot of ways…but not so smart with the vocab. She thought masculine was “masculent”. We love her anyway.
Is that anything like a window seal?
Oh lord. I just realized I had been saying “window seal” last year…I am 29. LOL
My hubby still says this even though I’ve told him what it is… It seriously confuses me when he says it, and I think my confused face of misunderstanding confuses him! lol
Love the way Crappy Boy hears these things: I still love his “immoral crackers”…
I had a towel when I was younger that said Human Beans!!! this just reminded me of that
I had a night shirt that had Human Beans on it.
Oh, and my sister? First time she came to the USA to visit, the waitress asked her “Super salad?” so she said “Uh, sure…”
Waitress looked confused and repeated, “Soup, or salad?”
I’m going to try to convince my toddler that if she eats her super salad, she’ll be able to grow wolverine claws out of her knuckles.
And dang, how I wish that was true.
These things are not clearcut
. English is not my first language and I remember when I had started my year as an exchange student in the US and came into contact with the hight school phenomenon Bonfire Night. I didn’t see it written, I just heard about it and went along with my host family. The whole evening I kept wondering when they’d crack out the buns and we’d start roasting them on the fire 
.
In NZ and Australia, the classic invitation “Bring a plate” = bring a plate of food to share.
Without the context, cultural embarrassment ensues.
That is the best kind of laughter… ever.
If you are ever in Oregon, make an effort to stop at The Human Bean for coffee so that you can explain the origin of human beans.
You might enjoy reading The BFG (Big Friendly Giant) by Roald Dahl – the bad giants love to eat human beans!
that was my first thought too – | love Roald Dahl
Me too! Sometimes I even say it on purpose Just to be referential.
BFG: I is a dream-blowing giant. When all the other giants is galloping off to swollop human beans, I is scuddling away to blow dreams into the bedrooms of sleeping children. Nice dreams. Lovely golden dreams. Dreams that is giving the dreamers a happy time!
That is exactly what I was thinking! I love Roald Dahl! Wesley, thanks for the quote! Made me smile-I may have to re-read that at 31!
blast from the past! thank you for that, it was one of my most favorite and treasured books….
“Human beans” is funny, but as someone who has been working with a mental health organization for a while now, your description of “a little nutty” made me cringe. I don’t work directly with the mentally ill, but working for this organization has given me a whole new level of empathy for how this group suffers, and how stigmatized they are. If Crappy Boy were asking questions about someone who was in a wheelchair or mentally handicapped, you probably wouldn’t include words like “crippled” or “retarded” in your explanation. So why not explain to him that some people have sicknesses that affect their brain, and make them see and hear things that aren’t there, and make them behave oddly, and that these people deserve our compassion? I actually think that intuitively, Crappy Boy already knew this, and I think it’s awesome that he could just accept that this man “is not like other humans.”
Sheesh, no matter what she writes there is gonna be at least one person who gets offended.
Anyone holding signs and wearing hats to draw attention to themselves deserves to be called bat shit crazy. A little nutty is like a compliment. Especially since she refers to herself and family as nutty in the end of the story.
Speaking for myself, I usually love this blog but today I cringed too. I actually have a mental illness, and it’s not pleasant to see someone laughing at the idea that I’m not like other people; it doesn’t feel friendly, it feels quite mean-spirited. I’m sure it wasn’t meant in that way, but that doesn’t make it any less painful to hear.
Heather was right, why not explain that people with mental illness have an illness that affects the way they behave. It’s how I explained it to my children and hopefully it will help them understand that people with mental illness shouldn’t be mocked for it, we’re just people with an illness. As Heather also said, you wouldn’t use the words ‘crippled’ or ‘retarded’ (I hope), and I would imagine you wouldn’t laugh at someone in a wheelchair, so why is someone with a mental illness considered fair game?
Amber, this isn’t meant to try and make you feel bad, honestly I love your blog. I hope this is just something you hadn’t thought about before that you now have anew perspective on.
exactly, it’s not fair game. it’s a disease.
what about the people who don’t have a mental illness and still act like that? how do u know that man was actually mentally ill?
I love this blog, just to be clear. Truly do. But it is true I, too, was a tiny bit sensitive to realize I was reading a story about perceptions ofmental illness. I won’t say I was offended, since I am well aware that behaviors that are “a little bit nutty” or even downright alarming are things children want answers about. I guess what is hard is I am a bipolar mom raising a bipolar son (diagnosed at age 6, now 11). It breaks my heart because that “batshit crazy” man who is “not like other humans” is someone’s son, all grown up. And he is isolated and suffering through no fault of his own ,but due to the capricious nature of illness–in this case, mental–which can affect any human, at any time. So, in fact, he can be seen as all too human…vulnerable, loved by someone, somewhere, and struggling. Some battles we can relate to more than others. Crappy boy knows an atypical human experience when he sees it; I know mom will find the right time and the right way when he is a bit older to convey that this man’s illness is just that — a health issue that brings with it a need for compassion and understanding.
i cringed too and I have a mentally sick person in my family. my sister used to roam the streets and she was extremely sick mentally.
I have seen first hand the pain and the suffering. People do not understand. and your comment to crappy boy does not help him have any compassion for people suffering from this disease. You are somehow teaching him to make fun of people that are different than him. Just my opinion.
Having read this blog fm the beginning, I’m certain both he and Amber are compassionate people – I’m sure Crappy Boy will grow up to be a really empathetic person!
I’m with Erica. I think your experiences here might be making you overly sensitive.
First of all, she was caught off guard. Secondly, she was driving. Thirdly, her responses have to be age-appropriate – she’s not reasoning with a teenager here.
I would have taken more time later to explain, but along with compassion it also would have included a talk about personal safety, and how if someone makes you a little scared, you should listen to your tummy. You can have all the compassion for people suffering that you want, but you shouldn’t ignore your instincts either. Saying she would call someone a cripple or retarded is a completely unfair and unreasonable comparison.
I like your last paragraph, and I hope to share it – at an age appropriate level – with my son.
Kids live in the real world, just like their parents. Some kids have a fantasy life. Some kids hear voices: http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/wellbeing/7556035/A-family-living-on-the-edge
We could to learn how to handle ourselves in unfamiliar territory.
O. M. G. That is too cute! Have you guys ever read/seen The Borrowers? They call people Human Beans (or just Beans for short). It cracks me up everytime we watch it.
I had to have a similar conversation with my 7-yr-old last week. Some guy was in a parking lot next to the restaurant we were walking toward. Something about ‘our country will perish,’ and I heard ‘liberal democrat’ in there somewhere. It was really weird. He just spewed some hate for about 30 seconds and then walked into the bank :-/
Cute cute cute!!! That is hilarious!!
The only part you’re missing is the part where you per yourself from laughing so hard which only makes you laugh harder and pee more… Thanks for the laugh!
The only part you’re missing is the part where you pee yourself from laughing so hard which only makes you laugh harder and pee more… Thanks for the laugh!
Love it! I LOLd at “not the cool dreadlocked way, the wear-a-tin-foil-hat-to-sleep way.” Oh how clearly I could picture that.
And CrappyBoy is brilliant.
You know what makes me cringe? Human Beans that find it necessary to climb on their PC Soapbox in a “funny, not to be taken seriously” parenting blog. It’s Parenting with Crappy Pictures. Not Parenting: How to have insightful, sensitive conversations with your children about the mentally ill. The majority of the general population does not refer to those people by their specific illnesses (schizoaffective, narcissitic/borderline trait etc.). We use broad catch all terms like crazy, nutty, kooky and batshit crazy (my personal fave). Come on people. Lighten up. By the way, love the blog Amber.
Well said, Ms. Jones
there are plenty of outlets for that kind of thing – this hilarious blog shouldn’t be one of them.
Yes, totally agree.
How about those of us with actual mental health problems who hear this stuff all the time? People who are sick of being dismissed as ‘just a nutter’, so we don’t count. I’m sure Amber didn’t mean to be hurtful, but it doesn’t make it any less painful to read.
Then don’t read and move on, this is a great hilarious blog! She is amazing for sharing her life with us, it’s everyday things that actually happen with kids, do you really want her to stop the car and have an indepth conversation with her 3 yr old explaining everything, come on! MOVE ALONG!!
Have to say that this has to be the most insightfull comment on the blog! Honestly, lighten up people! I too have seriously mentally ill people in my family! Furthermore, i have myself just been diagnosed with Anxiety/Mood disorder and that with a 19 month old son! And i have to say that i go “bat shit crazy” on a very regular basis! The point is exactly as Jessica Jones says – get over yourselves, with all due respect, get over yourselves, this is not about you! This is about a Mom (who was never given a ‘How to do it exactly right on the spur of the moment’ manual)! We automatically choose the path of least resistance in these situations! Last i checked it was not a crime to be human, and it is in being human that we are able to see the INNOCENT humour in these situations! LOVE YOUR BLOF AMBER! One of the few things that keeps me sane! Wink, wink!
this is great
So Jessica, if your kid comes home from school referring to an epileptic classmate as “a spazz,” or using a racial slur to describe someone, that will be OK, because it’s a broad, catch-all term I mean, why should we call black people Jamaican or Senegalese or African-American when there’s a one-size-fits-all term that starts with N? Or if they’re doing it as part of a joke, then people should lighten up because it’s not to be taken seriously? I didn’t suggest Amber tell her use technical terminology like “schizoaffective” – I just pointed out that mental illness should be treated with as much respect an empathy as other illnesses. I don’t see how that’s PC.
But why does someone screaming about stuff with a sign deserve respect? For all she knows, he ISN’T mentally ill. Just very religious. I think saying a little nutty was being nice.
“Why does someone screaming about stuff with a sign deserve respect?” Maybe because they’re human?
Yes, a human BEAN. That was the joke – congrats, you just got it!
But apparently you didn’t get that Amber wasn’t laughing at the man – she was laughing at the connections her son made. “Not like other humans” is a good start to understanding what makes a person mentally ill – after all, your diagnosis and every one else’s is based on deviations from the norm…
Every party has a pooper that’s why we invited you, party pooper! Party Pooper! …………..judge much? Really I think Amber is doing a great job because Crappy boy on his own understood that he was a little different. The world is full of different people, it is what makes each of us unique and beautiful. I do not think Amber was spreading intolerance or hate to her son. In-fact, I think she was trying to do just the opposite. For all we know in this case he has a alternative lifestyle, view on things, and strong religious opinions. Well if that’s the case we are all nutty!
Why do we need to assume that someone raving about the end of the world on a street corner is mentally ill? When referring to a mentally ill person regarding their mental illness, SURE.. I’d use a correct, sensitive term to describe them. But someone who is acting in a socially ridiculous fashion isn’t automatically schizophrenic in my book.. they’re just weird. Those crazy Westboro Baptists (yeah.. I said crazy) are probably not bi-polar or schizophrenic but they ARE nutty because they carry hateful signs and yell at strangers and rave about a God who hates a lot of people. Nutty.
Exactly
The man on the corner had just as high a chance of being a meth or heroin addict as having a genuine mental illness. So “nutty” is a decent and kind way to describe someone who is acting a little oddly. My child is nutty when he decides to yell at the cars on the street from the upstairs window. It’s not being dismissive, it’s being general and inclusive of mildly odd behavior.
Well said, Lacey S.
I will happily admit to being nutty on many days in the week. My husband laughingly and affectionately tells me I have mental issues when I act a little nutty and I consider it to be an excellent parenting method.
In fact, when I was nannying years ago – and as I don’t believe in hitting children, not for any reason – I would use the threat of “tickling you ’til you spewed” as a form of discipline.
And you know, I rarely got to the tickling stage with my little charges, cause they got the giggles in anticipation and were tooootally distracted from their mischievous behaviour
Brilliant.
Wow Heather….actually there is a catch all term for black people. It’s called BLACK. The “N” word you refer to as a “catch all term” is actually a derogatory slang word for an ignorant person. How delightfully ironic coming from the mouth of someone exactly that. I give total props to the people out there with serious mental illness that stick with their medications and avoid the path of self medicating with drugs and alcohol. My son will grow up learning to respect people regardless of their skin color (he’s half black) or ideas. That being said, it is hard to show respect for someone standing on the side of the road spouting unsensical language because he chose to not take his medication. People aren’t perfect and we don’t use appropriate language all the time. Mental illness that is clearly not under control makes people uncomfortable and we react in awkward ways. Heather if you handle all aspects of parenting in perfect textbook responses….Congratulations. You are part of the 1%.
This made me burst out laughing. Today I put my daughter’s carseat together after cleaning it (she’s due any day) and was feeling excited about putting a little human bean in it – I can’t wait until she starts talking!
This may be one of the funniest posts EVER!! (Right up there with penis pizza!)
LOL this is so hilarious! I too thought it was human bean when I was little and I thought I was the only one!
I absolutely loved this and I was laughing right along with you in the car!!!
I love all of your posts but this one had me rolling with laughter! Thanks so much for all the hilarity you bring to parenting and I can’t wait until my daughter starts talking!
That’s adorable!
The weirdest I ever saw was a guy who thought was Jesus giving out free hugs. Had a sign that said “I am Jesus. Free hugs today.” Surprisingly few takers on this limited-time offer.
Ha! I was 12 and still saying “Bus Steeple” and still puzzled as to WTF “Greyhound” had to do with “church”.
As a young child I used to proudly declare that I was a ‘fuming bean!’ :p
“fuming bean” love it my hubby has depression and when i read this one out to him it made him laugh! brilliant posts and the people who read this as anything but humour really need to lighten up
Sounds like a good time to read the BFG (or get the audio version) for nightly story time.
I used to say “Whole WHITE World”, and no one ever corrected me. I dont think it was until 3rd or 4th grade till I knew it was “wide”. Still makes me chuckle though.
Awesome. I always thought pay-per-view was paper view. I was confused.
You are f-ing awesome!
I reaaally need to stop reading this while rocking our 2 yr old to sleep—- it ALWAYS puts us back 10min! I do the silent shoulder, body jerk laugh which turns into “who’s funny, huh, who’s funny momma”. You are brilliant!
too funny!!! we live near Toronto and the CN Tower is something we used to drive by 2 or 3 times a day sometimes … my kids all called it the Singing Tower … oh, the do say the BEST things!!
Slightly nutty (and crunchy) bean recipe:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/claire-robinson/spicy-baked-chickpeas-recipe/index.html
My daughter did something similar the other night at dinner. We had pork chops, corn, and mashed potatoes and she was commenting on how good the corn chops were. I couldn’t help but laugh, and I told hubby all I could imagine was a ear of corn with mutton chops! Love hearing some of the things my kids say, and love, love, love your site!
As a child I worried a great deal about the human bean situation. I did not want to be a human bean, in any way, shape, form, or fashion. I thought I was the only one who saw a problem with being a bean. Your post today made me smile and your son has a great mind!
My 4-year-old DD keeps wanting to watch the old Chipmunks Christmas episode with the “hard monica” (harmonica) in it.
Roald Dahl’s “The BFG” might be up Crappy Boy’s alley. You should check it out.
OH Yes!! Was about to post this
Turkish delight 
Dahl would love the nutty yuman bean 
i was in third grade b-4 i realized it wasn’t “Cheifa Police” or “Whale and Jennings”…there were others….
I love the pictures of you laughing from crying.
My son calls right side down “fix-side down” because I guess it’s upside down and then you fix it. I might cry a little when he figures that one out.
I hear you on this. My son is 5 and seems to figure out the ‘proper’ vernacular for something each new day. It makes me a bit sad.
When W stopped being dubdub, hamburger stopped being hamgerber, and pizza stopped being zipa…I mourned that a bit each time.
We do still have the mow-lawn and krouwersout (sourkrought) though, so we’re good for a couple more months.
Great Post Amber – as always, thank you for letting us peek behind the curtains at your house. It always makes me feel a little less crazy!
Hee this happened to me today.
While not quite as crazy as “Jester Man” , my own 4 yo saw a young teenage girl with bright red hair walking by us with her mom. Now when I say bright, I mean like actual color of a fire engine. The mom naturally trying to allow her daughter some freedom of expression even though she looked a little ridiculous.
ANYWAY,
my son passes her and says, “Mommy Look! That girl’s head is ALL BLOODY!!!”
Teenage girl = sour expression
Mom of teenage girl = smug expression
Love it!
This actually made me literally LOL. Crap, hope I didn’t wake el Kidd-o.
HAHHAHAHA! AWESOME. That mother’s prayers were totally answered! ha!
HIlarious!
Amber, you need a “like” option for the comments on this blog!
a “dislike” option might work too :0) or maybe a “I think this person might be batshit crazy” option.
Agreed, although i would say you need a “Love it!” And an ” Oh, for heavens sakes, RELAX” button…
like button agree!
When I was little I hated beans (still not crazy about them). I used to tell anyone who would listen that I only liked jelly beans and human beans. I was not corrected for years! I was old emough that I remember it clearly.
“batshit crazy”. Hahahahaha!
I usually looooove everything You post But i have Issues with you laughing at the “crazy batshit” who is on the street and the guys who is little nutty just because he’s not like the others human beings. I know this is hard but mental illness is an illness not a comedy show and homelessness is not funny either.
Nobody makes fun of people that have aids, cancer etc. Because they are diseases but people that have mental illness are usually made fun of.
I did like the part that you said about human beans. That was funny.
Sorry. I just had to voice my opinion. The world needs compassion.
Hugs
She was laughing at her son saying Human Beans. Not at the disturbing Jester on the side of the road. Good god….
As a mom, I agree with Amber’s assessment of the screamer on the street corner: every parent’s first instinct is not to lecture their children in a detailed and insincere politically-correct way, but to explain things with the child’s best interest in mind. After her little boy asked, ‘who WAS that guy?’ she did what any mom would do, she gave her son an idea that that person yelling in a truly crazy fashion isn’t your ‘average’ person and yes, there’s something wrong there, in other words, don’t trust that person, don’t consider his behaviour ‘normal’. Of course later, after Amber writes about the incident, and 99% of readers find it HILARIOUS and cute sweet story about her son – a boy so little, by the way, that he thought the phrase was ‘human bean’…well, then we must become aware of the remaining 1%: the 1% of readers whose sole purpose in life is to write snarky or self-righteous comments after every blog post, every article, every
e v e r y t h i n g on the internet. It’s just such a waste of everyone’s time and is just a sad attempt to make a nice person (Amber) feel badly about doing nothing wrong.
Here’s a challenge for all of the people who rained on this little parade in the comments section: gather your children around you (preferably within arms length of a confused/angry/screaming man) and take great care in explaining to them, in detail, just how his brain works, and the nature of his mental illness, and how we need to show him respect at all times and not call him ‘names’ like ‘nutty’…or wait – they’ll never do this, they are right now at home typing furiously at the end of someone else’s funny/entertaining/sincere/well-written blog. Their kids are who knows where and they are online making the world a more annoying place.
it’s not to make the blogger feel bad but just to have a more compassionate perspective on a situation.
you would not make fun of people that have AIDS, cancer, that are disabled, have down syndrome etc, the why make fun of people that have mental illness.
I have a mental illness and I *have* explained to my children what it is and how it affects me, and they know it isn’t nice to use words like nutty to describe someone who’s ill, the same as they wouldn’t use ‘cripple’ to describe someone in a wheelchair. It’s really not that hard a concept to grasp for them. It’s a shame some adults here seem to be having a problem with it though.
As for where my kids are, last night when I commented they were safe in bed, and today they are out with my husband, their dad. I’m not with them because part of my mental health problem is agoraphobia. So fuck you for trying to make me look like a bad mother when all I was trying to do is make the world a little more tolerant towards mentally ill people.
Okay, GAB, you are the expert here. I don’t know anything. All I know is, we’ve got some work to do.
Does the man in the street have a mental illness or was he high or drunk? How can you tell? If he has a mental illness (and you have to be certain) which mental illness does he suffer from? Remember to be very precise. Now that you have diagnosed him in your professional opinion, please explain it clearly to me so I may understand. (Explain it slowly, in case I have trouble understanding.)
Now: how should we explain it to our children? They need a complete and clear understanding of the condition of the screaming man in the street. They need a diagnosis (apparently.) But more importantly, how should we present it to our reading audience when telling a funny story about our son in our humourous online blog? That’s the tricky part. But again, you’re the expert, so start writing.
You write it, I’ll read it. I promise.
(And I promise that your blog post will be followed by comments containing lovely rants and swearing within minutes.)
Wow, for someone who wants to “make the world a little more tolerant” you sure dropped the f-bomb pretty quick on me. Maybe you don’t want to make the world a better place, not really.
Sad.
(above comment for Karina)
To Karina and GAB,
I’m sincerely sorry that (somehow) I allowed myself to get sucked in to those online arguments everyone has to put up with seeing after e v e r y post online. I promise to never do it again. Please don’t even bother responding to my (I have to admit very witty) comments above, as I won’t even bother to read them. I’m done, I’ve moved on. Please do the same yourself – we don’t have time for this trivial bickering and we really will be making the world a better place by ending this now.
Friends?
Good. Let’s move on. (Even if just for the sake of this wonderful and funny blog!)
I’m sure both of you are just lovely in real life.
Sandra, I could not have said it more eloquently. But even after voicing your opinion in a perfectly non-hostile way you get attacked. Really people. This is the exact reason I don’t subscribe to any other blog. Because self righteous people that like to vent their entire lives to anyone who will listen use these blogs as a sounding board for their problems. This is a hilarous blog about parenting and the beautiful imperfections that it brings. The man on the street corner could very well have been someone high on PCP and not have any kind of mental disorder. Those that want to vent find the negative in it and use it as an excuse to preach to the world about having compassion for others. It’s called humor and you should try finding a little in every day life. It makes the journey much sweeter…
Thank you, Jessica (Jones), for taking the time to respond, I agree with you as well, the point has been missed and I’m also not sure why some people even bother reading humourous and friendly blogs such as this. They really are just using it as a means to promote their own interests and problems, although I’m not sure why – maybe no-one is reading THEIR blogs, lol.
I don’t take their comments to heart, I know they are just so off the mark, this is what they do. They need to be angry about a little comment that a nice mom made to her son (privately) and then blogged about it to us in this cute blog. I feel lucky when that happens, when someone takes the time to share with others (even strangers) some little funny story that shows we are all learning, and as moms, we are all ‘in this together’, trying to do the best for our kids even when something strange happens, like we are driving and we pass some nutter on the street, for example.
Thanks again, Jessica, and I really love your phrase about parenting’s ‘beautiful imperfections’. (I may borrow that!) : )
I used to read the comments on this blog to have a laugh at the other parents experiences. It would be like a whole other blog post. They always seemed to be close to my own life and made life a little easier when I realized everyone goes through the “funny but is this normal” stage with their kids. Now I give up half way through because people want to air their dirty laundry on Amber’s site. Very few people open their lives to other like this and even fewer can make it comical an help others feel better about situations with their own kids.
THANK YOU AMBER for making me laugh and realizing that child rearing needs to be laughed at sometimes. Sometimes there is nothing else you can do.
Well said.
Well said!
Ps: I’m not going to continue the thread above, where I’ve been ‘sucked in’ to a silly online argument…I’m just going to continue enjoying Amber’s blog and revel in the fact that she is able to pin down so many sweet and funny parenting moments.
Love the head tipped back in the last pic, with tears streaming down your face
You’re hilarious and such a great picture-drawerer!
Wow. Did any of you happen to catch Amber’s guest post on another blog a few weeks ago? Let. It. Go.
Human Beans is funny. Thanks Amber!
Heather I was just thinking the exact same thing!! LOL
My mom – not a native English speaker – used to listen to the traffic report on the radio in her 20s. Whenever the announcer described “bumper-to-bumper” traffic, she couldn’t hear it any other way than “bump-para bump-para” and thus couldn’t figure out what it meant (no entry in the dictionary for bump-para).
If no one’s suggested it, you should look at the “Kissthisguy” web site for misheard lyrics.
We recently went on a camping trip and woke the kids up in the middle of the night to see a “meaty shower”!!!!
speaking of letting it go, Jessica Jones, you should listen to yourself- I think you commented more than anyone HA HA
Acually, think i’ve just become a Jessica Jones fan myself! Perhaps she should start a blog of her own! Goodness, i haven’t laughed so much in a long time! I suppose the greatest irony is that the Objectors to this blog have ONLY succeeded in making this a far more interesting midnight read! Going to bed with a big happy smile on my face !
Signed –
One of The Mentally Ill! Xxx
Actually Em suburbancorrespondent responded more than I did. I must admit being a mother has lowered my already low tolerance for stupidity so I feel the need to respond especially when people direct comments to me. Never been one to sit by and continue to be slapped in the face. Thanks Cape Town Mom!! I don’t have time for this so I have total respect for Amber!! Don’t know how she finds the time with 2. I only have a 9 month old.
Jessica Jones, you rock. Even your NAME is cool! : )
My Dad once told me that during the pledge of allegiance to the flag in grade school, he thought that the words “and justice for all” were actually “and just a squirrel”.
Awesome! Mine too, and mine say glitter for litter, so ‘no glittering’ or the cat is in the ‘glitterbox’ with the kitty ‘glitter’.kids r too funny!
My friends daughter came home from school and when asked what they learned about that day she said ham and beans. We couldn’t figure it out until she told us that we are ham and beans. It is funny how things get interpreted by kids and people who learned english as a second language.
I used to work at a coffee place called the “Human Bean.” I worked there nearly four years before I got it…oh, like Human Being!
thanks as always
We used to sing a song about this at camp. About all different types of beans. Black bean, pinto bean, Lima bean, human bean, L.L. Bean…
The human bean verse was always my favorite. The little kids at camp never got the joke, though. Now I see why.
That is the cutest, sweetest story!
So adorable!!!!! And as always sooo funny!!!
hahahhaha! This is the CUTEST post yet! I just had this conversation with my son today:
“Can I have some beer when I grow up, mommy?”
“Yes.”
“Does it help me put my beard on my face?”
Aren’t kids awesome?
My favorite to this day was when my son was about 3. We passed a statue of a man on a horse so I say, “oh look, a statue!”. And he says, ” a statch-me?”. I laughed every time I passed that statue and obviously still think its pretty darn funny!
Ha! So funny! You’re always good for a laugh just when I need it. Thanks Crappy family!
this post reminds me of what happened at my house awhile back. my 3 year old daughter was pestering me about something (i can’t remember what) and i said to her “you’re driving me nuts.” she looked at my quizzically, and said “driving nuts? what does it mean to drive nuts? you can’t DRIVE nuts mommy…SQUIRRELS eat nuts.” she walked away from me shaking her head, as if to say ‘silly mommy…’ i had to laugh.
I hope you never stop blogging. It’s such a treat when you post! Don’t listen to those who are overly sensitive – I’m sure you don’t. But people, if you’re overly serious about everything, life can get pretty tough. Keep your sense of humor!
I have a 13 month old little boy. I love hearing about the different situations you encounter with your two. Keep ‘em coming, Amber! <3
This conversation just happened between me and my nine year old son this week. There was some additional discussion around this but here is the key and funny part:
Son: Sex is on ur license. It tells u how much sex u have.
Mom: Where does it say that?
Son: Like dad’s is M for medium.
“Human Beans” is funny, but I have to give the win to “Chester Drawers!” HAHAHA!
I have two brothers with epilepsy, a brother who is severely mentally, physically, and health impaired including bipolar and OCD. I have severe clinical depression and an anxiety disorder and since an auto accident a few years ago am also handicapped. I don’t get bent out of shape when kids comment on my wheelchair or scars or even how fat I am. Many “kind” adults are much crueler and more judgmental about my weight and need for an electric cart to grocery shop and they sure don’t stop to inquire about the health reasons behind it. I don’t mind answering kids honest curiosity. There is a big difference between taunting name calling and using the handiest slang word. In my opinion, we are all a bit crazy, some of us just show it more than others. And in the mean-time, I still vote for trying to not to judge others more than we can help or need to, but sometimes it is okay to say, “this person makes me nervous/uncomfortable” and I’m going to give them plenty of space.”
Dodo, Scrambled Legs, crazy mom, Ooold lady,etc. (all names lovingly given to me by members of my family. They make me laugh!)
It’s all fun and games, but you forgot one thing: the end IS COMING!!!
When I saw the title of this in my email I thought it was about an entirely different subject lol
Tears streaming down my face!