Not exactly, but close enough.

No text, just pictures today of a conversation that happened last week. Usually I share tidbits like this on Twitter or Facebook but I was feeling draw-y today.

(Also, my mom has been visiting. This means that everything has been wonderful because she is a Jedi and uses the Force on them. I tried to learn her tricks but my friends in the computer tell me that only grandparents possess these magic skills. She left this morning. Expect posts soon. Especially since they've been stockpiling their behavior for me.) 

Oops, this was supposed to be a "no text" post. I don't think I'm very good at these.

I'm ready to stop writing now. This was the conversation:

Mamapenis1

Mamapenis2

Mamapenis3

Mamapenis4

Not exactly. But close enough. 

This entry was posted in crappy pictures, parenting, toddlers. Bookmark the permalink.

299 Responses to Not exactly, but close enough.

  1. Kristine says:

    My 3 year old girl has asked me more than once, when I’m dressing, “Mommy, do you have FUR on your body that you need to wipe off?” Oy. 🙂

    • Kitty says:

      Oy. That made me laugh!! Fur? My daughter thinks her step dad has poo (it’s his penis) “yes honey it’s poo”. Hahaha

  2. Eden Bennett says:

    my 3 year old seemed very sad when he asked if I had a penis, and I told him I didn’t. He was very disappointed.

  3. Kara says:

    Ha! My 2 1/2 yr old boy/girl twins have a very hard time deciding who has a penis and who has a vagina!

  4. Cathy says:

    My daughter, at age 3, informed me that “Daddy has a tail!”

  5. LOL! I have 2.5 yr old b/g twins as well, it’s hilarious the confusion they have with him/her, such as the whole penis/vagina mystery.

  6. Laura says:

    I love how kids minds work. The other day I was talking with a friend who is pregnant, and her 3yo son informed me that “his mommy has a baby in her belly, and it’s going to come out of her front bum!”

  7. wiseman98@gmail.com says:

    That was funny.

  8. Courtney says:

    My son used to say I had a “giant”.

  9. Allison R says:

    My 3-year-old son says girls have “goods” and boys have “dudes” then, because we try to use correct terms he adds, girls also have ‘gina’s and boys also have “nisis”.
    …..at least we try to use the correct terms LOL. 🙂

  10. SVM says:

    My son, 3.5, is determined that I have a penis “in my bum”. How else could I pee? No matter how many times I explain the facts he sticks to this theory. Kids. 🙂

  11. Inger says:

    I read giant penis first. I was confused but impressed with his deductive skills.

  12. Sam[uel] says:

    I wonder when my 2yo will notice that I have different anatomy than her Mommy. Of course, I pee standing up, but always hide my ‘goods’ while she watches the steady stream. She did get a glimpse of it one time and got distressed, calling it a “poo poo” and wanting it to drop into the toilet. :O I’m still not sure when or how we will approach that subject.

    • Tanya says:

      OMG….I am at work reading your comment and am trying to stifle my laugh…ow…it hurts! You totally cracked me up!!!

  13. Karen says:

    My son told me that boys have a penis and that girls have bananas!

  14. Jolleen says:

    LOL!!!!!! My son when he was 2 (and I was HUGELY preggers with my daughter) came up and patted me on the belly saying, “baby!” and I assured him that yes, his little baby sister was in there. Then he walked over to grandma (who, uh, shall we say, had a bit of a belly) and proceeded to pat her belly, PROUDLY proclaiming, “BABY! BABY!” I was laughing hysterically, my mother, was not.

  15. Allison R says:

    🙂 my friends child told me one day that girls pooped out babies while boys got jobs…..very insightful

  16. NancyJ says:

    When our parents had the kids when we were gone, they were hellions when the grandparents left. Sometimes we wondered if two days away was worth the following week of retraining. I guess they used the Force and Jedi mind tricks but also, maybe just lots of spoiling was going on. That is probably what Ben Kenobi was up to. “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for,” and under his breath, “… and this robe is really big so just reach into my pocket here and I have a contraband Snickers barvfrom Sector 23 that you can have.” The cynic is out in full force today if I am reduced to doing a smack down on Obi Wan Kenobi.

  17. Kate says:

    The little girl I used to be a nanny for once asked me if it was called a “PUH-gina” or a “FUH-gina”. Ummm…no.

  18. Kristen says:

    I was taking my 3 year old to the doctor for a sore penis and he said “One day, Mommy, I’ll take you to the doctor to check your penis.” When I told him I didn’t have one, he said, “Oh, poor you, Mommy! We have to buy you one!”

  19. Amanda H. says:

    My son was not quite 3 when he informed me not to worry, and that I would get my boy parts once I grew up.

  20. Kunang Agung says:

    My 1 1/2 year old called her Daddy’s penis a “Zazu”

  21. Seriously – kids love talkin about, recklessly running in to, and squeezing, wieners. Incredible.

  22. Claire says:

    My 2.5 yr old was asking about his willy (which we call wilbur – no idea why). I said he had a wilbur and Daddy has a wilbur. He looked at his and then looked at his daddy’s. He then said Daddy BIG wilbur!!!

  23. Amber Dusick says:

    A penis in your bum!!!

  24. Amber Dusick says:

    This might just be my favorite comment ever. I think I should give you a Snickers bar.

  25. Christi says:

    My 4-year-old asked how babies got out of their moms, so I tried giving a brief, G-rated overview of the process. His response? “Oh, I get it – so you push the baby out of your penis!”

  26. Abby says:

    My son’s best line was “Mama, I have a bone in my peanut!”

  27. Nancy L. says:

    When my son was about 3, he asked loudly, in a public restroom “Mommy, do you have a peepee, or just a hole?” I replied, dejectedly, “just a hole.”

  28. Katie says:

    love it!

  29. Melanie says:

    My friend recently told her daughter (5 or 6 years old) how babies come out. Her daughter looked at her, horrified and disgusted and said “you mean your BOTTOM was on my HEAD??!!”

  30. Amber Dusick says:

    Ouch! Well, not that our way doesn’t hurt too.

  31. Yvonne says:

    My 3-year old once said, “I have a penis, daddy has a penis, Luke has a penis (baby brother). Mommy, do you have a penis? No? I’ll get you one!”

  32. qualls2@hotmail.com says:

    I took my young boys into a public restroom. I was in the stall when I heard my yr old tell another lady in the restroom that “My mom used to pee standing up until her penis fell off”. Nice.

  33. Katie says:

    When my little brother was born, my sister who was 3 said to my mom, “Look! Rob has a peanut just like daddy!”

  34. Reb says:

    lol! Has he been reading Feminist Philosophy? “The Sex Which Is Not One” by Luce Irigaray?

  35. Melanie says:

    When my daughter was three she saw daddy getting dressed and asked “is that your peanut?”. Daddy wasn’t terribly pleased with the description 😉

  36. Pamela says:

    My husband has a PEANUT.
    I have a FUN-GINA.
    I win.

  37. Michelle says:

    My daughter said the same thing when she was 3! I about died laughing! Especially since she was comparing him to the dog. 🙂

  38. atara says:

    When my son was 22 months his sister was born. shortly after he realized that she looked differently than he did. Once I was changing her diaper and he came up with a very worried look on his face, pointed to her body part and said “what dat?”
    “vagina. ” I answered.
    He naked at the time (potty training meant no pants) So he pointed to his penis and asked
    “Jima?”
    “No, that’s your Penis” I answered.
    So he lifted his penis and pointed to his balls “Jima?” he asked me.
    “No honey, that’s your balls.”
    Then he lifted his balls and pointed to his butt.
    “Jima?” he asked me
    from that day on he was very curious who had a “Jima” and who had a “Penis” to the point that he would peek under toilette stalls in public bathrooms asking “she have a Penis or Jima?” to my utter embarrassment.

  39. Angela Garrison says:

    I’m laughing so hard at your post and the comments that I can’t even think of anything. Thanks for the laughs!

  40. Pamela says:

    Actually, husband also wins, because hello! Access to the fun-gina!

  41. Lea O. says:

    My 3.5 year old son asked why there was this “poop” under his penis(as he stretched it out like gum to look at it). I told his daddy to explain this to him, and Daddy then told him it was his scrotum. He laughed and said, “you’re silly Dad, why is your poop so furry?” HAHAHA! Good one Dad!

  42. Heather says:

    Mine calls his a noodle (blame his daddy for that one), so he says girls have “sparkly noodles.” I laughed for days.

  43. Erica says:

    LMAO, I love kid conversations. LOL

  44. Reb says:

    In her work Sex Which Is Not One, Irigaray argues that historically sexuality has been critiqued from a masculine perspective, where the male penis is the “valued phallic organ” and the woman’s clitoris is considered in relation to it as the “little penis.”

  45. nicole says:

    Love it! Our neighbor has a rooster and I remember thinking how sweet it was when we bought our house….5 years later, I have never hated a living thing as much as I hate that rooster! It cock a doodle door ALL THE TIME!

  46. Reb says:

    Btw, my 3yr old son asked me the other day, “Where’s your big harry penis, mom?” And all I could think of was that passage in Irigaray’s work. Hmm… wonder what she’d say to that question?

  47. Jenny says:

    bahahahahaha too funny! I love childish logic 🙂

  48. Elizabeth says:

    In our home girls have hoohoos and boys have peebugs. One day our daughter (probably around 4-4 1/2 at the time) walked in on my husband while he was going to the bathroom, and shouted “Daddy you have a big hoohoo” 🙂 We couldnt help but laugh!!!!

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  49. Misty Payne says:

    Watching his home birth on vhs (giving my age), my then 4ish son saw the midwife checking his testicles and asked “Why is she tickling my toetickles?” They were foreverafter known as such. I continued even to ask him about the toetickles throughout his frequent teenage mishaps.
    They are always fine.

  50. Satakieli says:

    Oh I’m cracking up at all of these!

    My 4 year old boy did ask me one time where my penis was, he seemed quite disappointed that I don’t have one and said “Oh, it’s ok mummy… is it lost?”

  51. Holly Wilson says:

    We still laugh about the time my nephew refused to take a bath. No one had any idea why until my sister-in-law tried to make him, and he started screaming hysterically “but I don’t want my peepee fall off!” Apparently he saw his little sister in the bath and noticed for the first time that she didn’t have the same parts and thought the bath made her penis fall off. LOL

  52. Krysta says:

    Oh this is great! My son has asked so many times if I have a penis, when I say no he looks at me with sympathy and says, ‘did it run away?’ ‘mommmy’s penis runned away…he can’t seem to figure out why everyone else in the house, including the dog, has a penis except me! Just yesterday he asked if my penis was a noodle on the loose? (long story short when he runs around nude we have been known to ‘shout noodle on the loose’) Too funny! Love the post!

  53. Olivia Smith says:

    Just so you know, my 19 month old, Lydia walked by, saw your “crappy drawing” and pointed to it and said “BAAAABYYYYYYYYYYY!!!”

  54. Rebekah says:

    My 2.5 year old is very matter-of-fact. “Mommy, you have hair on your bottom?”

  55. Lenore says:

    My son is about to turn 2, so we haven’t had these sorts of conversations just yet. But when I was about four, I was taking a bath with my best friend who was a boy. He looked at my vulva and said “OH! YOU were in a boating accident too!”. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said his sister Allison also had been in a boating accident when she was born, and that her penis had fallen off in said accident, and went down with the ship. He said his father had told him that’s how girls become girls and boys remain boys. I was beyond confused, and was convinced for a few weeks that I had been in a boating accident of some kind. I started telling strangers about my boating accident, and they would say “Oh MY!” and ask my parents when they took me boating. Then finally my father told me that I had NOT been in a boating accident, and neither had Allison, that we are not all born as boys and then become girls when involved in an accident of any kind, and then he informed me that this boy’s father was, in fact, an absolute idiot. Later on I told my friend what my dad had said, and after that I wasn’t allowed to go to his house to play anymore. The end.

  56. Lenore says:

    PS: I had never been boating, and didn’t ever step foot on a boat until I was about seven. So it turns out that his father was wrong. Just in case you’re wondering. 😉

  57. Kelly says:

    A little unrelated, but once I was in a public restroom with my (at the time) 3 year old daughter, and I had underpants with Whinnie the pooh on them and she said very loudly “Mum you have poo on your undies!!” I couldn’t help but laugh at the same time saying “Yes, it’s WHINNIE THE POOH!”

  58. Heather says:

    Loving this stream of comments. Around age 2 and shortly after her sister was born (leaving Daddy outnumbered 3 to 1) my daughter saw her father getting out of the shower, looked up, and exclaimed – horrified, even:
    “DADDY, YOUR ‘GINA FELL OUT!”

  59. Em Singh says:

    lol!! Just wait till she asks you… she will. Now I can tell my husband about something to watch out for… a poo poo.. hee hee!

  60. karalee says:

    When our oldest was 3 he pointed at my naked just out of the shower self and asked what “that” was… without thinking I said, “Um… fuzz.” he shook his head and mumbled as he walked away, “Fuzz is yucky.”

  61. When my oldest son was almost 3, we were in a public restroom “Mommy, you have a penis” “No, I don’t” “YES YOU DO!!!”

  62. oh my, these comments are PRICELESS. hilarious post, too 😉

  63. Kelly says:

    We call them front bums and back bums in our house =)

  64. After a similar conversation with my then 3 year old daughter, we spent a very long 24 hours where she would name a cartoon character and ask if they had a penis or vagina.

    Thankfully the novelty wore off and at nearly 5 I think the only time she’s recently said penis is screaming at her little brother to go somewhere private if he wants to play with his 🙂

  65. Stacy says:

    My family never talked about body parts and such while I was growing up. Us girls had a front bum and a back bum! How bizarre.

  66. SL says:

    My mom (in her 60’s) is a nanny. One of the little boys said to her, “Do you have a vagina?” and she answered yes. He responded, “Well can I see it?”

  67. my 3 year old daughter walked in on my husband in the bath one day, looked at him with a somewhat shocked little face and said, “DAD. is THAT your vagina!?!?!?”

  68. Stacy says:

    That’s too funny. When my son was about 2 1/2 or 3 he was watching tv one day with his hand down his pants. He got all excited and said, ” hey mom, do you know that I have BALLS inside my scrotum?”

  69. Erin Bosco says:

    LOL-so funny. I remember when my daughter was 2.5 she saw daddy naked getting out of the shower and said “Daddy, your jay-jay looks funny!” He was slightly mortified and I was laughing uncontrollably. Kids say the funniest things.

  70. Eve says:

    LOL mine too!!! “Mama don’t hab a peanut, and dat berry sad”

  71. Eve says:

    I had two boys and then a girl… Boys being 3 1/2 and 2 when sister came along, asked why “Baby have two butts?!”

    (She actually has a bolba, but that’s her own understanding now at 1 1/2 – the boys still giggle and call it her little butt)

  72. Karena says:

    My 3 year old had to do an “All About Me” board at school so he and I were flipping through pictures of him on my computer . The ones right after he was born showed up and he goes “Mom, what’s that big thing under my peepee?” I told him his peepee was his penis and under that were his testicles. He seemed to be absorbing that then informs me, “They are big, big, big.” My husband was falling over laughing. So being concerned with size starts now, I guess. *sigh*

  73. makenzie says:

    My 4 y.o. daughter tells everyone, “only SOME girls have a penis.” And I say, “That’s true. Only some.”

  74. Maria says:

    I’m reading this one a little late but OMG! Thanks for the laughs : ) My boy is only 18mo so not there yet. But he does find it hilarious trying to grab his daddy’s penis when he comes out of the shower! And if I’m out of the shower with my back turned to him, he loves to come up and pat my bottom. CUTE!

  75. Evie says:

    My has decided her father also has a tail…. yesterday she was patting a miniature pony and the owner said look at her mane, look at her legs, look at her tail… 2 year old pipes up “My daddy has a tail”

  76. Susan Peterson says:

    My parents tell me that when I was three I went up to a strange man and said “My Daddy has a penis. Do you have a penis?” The man just smiled and said yes he did.

    I had a picture of my oldest two kids, when the boy was not quite 3 and the girl 18 mos, sitting in the bathtub facing each other. The boy was pointing at his penis, while his sister leaned over and looked at it attentively. ( I say “had” because my son later went through my albums and removed and destroyed the pictures he thought were embarrassing, including the one of him pointing proudly at his poop in the little potty chair, and sadly, including this one.)

    Susan Peterson

  77. heather says:

    HILARIOUS comments!

    However, boys have penises and girls have vulvas. Saying a girl has a vagina is like saying a boy has a glans or a shaft.

  78. In the tub, my daughter said, “Mommy look!! My hiney goes all the way around!!”

  79. Regina says:

    Also a 2 year old who thinks her Daddy has a tail! We died laughing!

  80. Mercy says:

    What is the obsession with boys and penies? My son (4) has to list everyone in the house daily, asking if they have penies, when he knows that only he and daddy do.

    Love all the hillarious stories.

  81. Eve says:

    HAHAHAHA!!!! :’D

  82. When my son discovered mommy does not have a penis (but daddy does), he was very intrigued. Later that day when we went shopping, he took it upon himself to ask everyone “Do you have a penis? My mommy doesn’t! But me and daddy do…”. This line of questioning went on for the entire shopping trip, everybody we passed got questioned about their penis (or lack there of).

  83. haha! I have a friend who has two daughters, 2 and 4, and she was going to take abath with them one night in her ‘big tub’ and they yelled “NO!!! We don’t want your FUR RUG near us!!”

  84. Mindy says:

    Our grandma jedi left too and now the evil forces are conspiring against me.

  85. Lara says:

    My boys have done the ” look, I have a ball down there!” too. Plus, the 4 year old wanted to know how they would put my stomach back together after the baby came out, due to my G rated version out how his sister was going to be born. Their sister just has icky girl parts as far as they are concerned.

  86. Silvia says:

    When my son was born, my 4 year old daughter asked me why her baby brother vagina looked like that??

  87. Sandy W. says:

    My 6 yr old and 3 yr old sons decided to discuss my lack of a penis in the bathroom stall of Target loud enough for everyone to hear. I was peeing at the time. The 3 yr old told me it was much easier to pee standing up and that I should just point my penis into the toilet. Then the 7 yr old told him I didn’t have a penis. Then the 3 yr old said “So you mean Mommy just pees out of her butt? Or is that diarrhea, Mom?!” I heard many snickers and laughs from the adjacent stalls. It was lovely.

  88. Rainyday says:

    According to my 3 year old, I have either a “lasagna” or a “nectarine”. Oh yes, and also a “big bum in the back”.

  89. J says:

    I am rolling on the floor laughing right now.

  90. KellyK says:

    In the shower with my 1.5 year old, I noticed him staring pointedly at me. Then he looked down at his penis, then back to me. “Mama, owie?” he asked. No, I answered, no owie. Mama no penis like Ryan and Papa. Mama is a girl. Penises are for boys. He looked at me with eyes full of pity and said, “Oh, Mama, oh.”

  91. stephanie says:

    Lmao my thought exactly! Lol

  92. Jen says:

    Ha! I have had this conversation… many times.

    And this is what happened when my daughter realized that her brother’s had a penis
    http://www.buriedwithchildren.com/yes-dear-daughter-there-is-a-difference/

    🙂

  93. Amanda says:

    A little girl I used to babysit told me once in a public washroom that her mommy put a thing in her bum and her bum exploded then she felt better (she meant a suppository because she had been constipated). Everyone in the bathroom thought that was hilarious.

  94. Nikki says:

    Maybe stop hiding it and normalise all parts of your body? Plenty of time when they’re old enough to be going places without you to teach ‘private parts’ for their safety. That’s how we’ve approached it, never hid our nudity, and our girls have all developed a natural protective modesty at an appropriate age. Helps that we live in the middle of nowhere without neighbours!

  95. Amanda says:

    Thank you for pointing this out. We’re very particular about what we call body parts in our house too. I have two sons and they don’t see my vagina, they see my vulva. If they’re naked with one of their female friends, they see her vulva. I feel it does them a disservice to NOT teach them the proper words for things.
    (Of course the two year old calls it my “oval” half the time, but there you go.)

  96. Mary says:

    OMG! Me too! He started crying about it. lol

  97. Amanda says:

    My then 4yo: Mommy, I know what a girl’s penis is called. Me: Hmm, what is a girl’s penis called? 4yo: A GYRO! Me: Yummm, Greek for dinner, anyone?

  98. Michelle says:

    My son also used to say that I had a “gina penis.” Boys are so funny. Even when he got older, he had a hard time remembering the word for vagina so when he went with me to the big ultrasound for our last baby, he asked the technician, “Does the baby have a penis or a magenta?” I’ll never be able to look at that color in quite the same way.

  99. ginny says:

    my 6 year old son told my 4 year old daughter he would make her a penis so she could be a boy, too. he really doesn’t like having a sister…

  100. Kelly says:

    My eldest daughter peeked it at her daddy in the shower, pointed and proclaimed “Daddy, I can see your poopy!” (Daddy is black, and apparently his penis looks like a piece of poop!)

  101. Charlie says:

    Yay! I like it when everybody wins!

  102. kate says:

    I actually explained to my oldest son that mommy has a urethra, just like he does, except his is in a penis and mine is all inside my body. He just seemed so worried about how the pee would get out!

    Ok, maybe it was a bit involved an explanation for a three year old, but he is six now and can still tell you that boys AND girls have ‘rethras.

  103. kate says:

    I say ‘vulva’ too, except when explaining childbirth. (and even then, ‘cervix’ is a more relevant and important concept, since that’s what keeps the baby in and lets the baby out!) I’ve only gone through this with my boys, so we’ll see how it goes when my baby daughter gets to potty training/body awareness age!

  104. Melanie says:

    LOL. When I was a kid my mom called my vulva my “girl heiny”.

  105. LD says:

    Mine too!!! He insisted my penis was stuck in my booty! Lol.

  106. heather says:

    Best. Comment. Ever.

  107. heather says:

    A friend told me the story of when her 2nd child, a daughter, was born. Her eldest, a son, was no more than 2 years old or so. At one early diaper change, he saw his sister’s parts and obviously realized they were different than his. He pointed, distressed, very concerned, and simply asked, “Broken???”

  108. ronin says:

    Its nice to see someone else take this approach. It seemed like the best idea, but my oldest daughter is almost three, and with the awkward questions, i was having doubts lol.

  109. LoveMyGirl says:

    My 3 year old thinks her father “pees out him thumb” because his thumb it what she’s seen when she has sneaked a peek

  110. ronin says:

    for real. whats up with that? the SINGLE most awkward part of being a dad to date….

  111. Moynihal says:

    My favorite is still my brother’s comment when he was a little boy. “I have a birdie, but Daddy has a birdie in a nest,”

  112. Stephanie K. says:

    Lol to all the above comments. When my son got his first jock for hockey, he put it on and told his sister to hit him “right in the tentacles!”…we still fall over laughing at that one.

  113. Chelsea says:

    Why “ummm…no”? Wanting to know the correct pronunciation seems like a perfectly legitimate question to me.

  114. Maggie says:

    My son (then 3) asked me “Mommy, do you have a big penis?” I told him no. About five minutes later he came back up to me and said, “Mommy, can you pull up your skirt and show me that you don’t have a penis.” Umm…no.

  115. WiscoMama says:

    My 3 year old son says I have a “gynis”

  116. Kim says:

    When my son was 2ish, his daddy was giving him a bath. He told him “daddy has penis.” My husband said “yes.” Then my son says ” I have penis.” My husband tells him that yes he’s a boy he has a penis, too. Then my son says “mommy has a penis.” My husband told him that no mommy is a girl and mommy doesn’t have a penis. My son thought about that for a minute, looks at my husband proudly and says “mommy has girl penis.” Boys!

  117. Leah says:

    This is not a virus or dirty… Just something along the same lines as your conversations. Two parents trying to explain the differences of the sexes:
    http://youtu.be/ZQT1bugJ55E

  118. Lisa says:

    We used to let our daughter shower with us when she was less than 2 yrs old (she’s just sit on the floor and play with soap) and one day when my husband was soaping up his face she reached out and grabbed his penis! He never let her shower with him again and she will never remember it, but I am positive my poor husband is scarred for life!! LOL

  119. Laurel says:

    One day while potty training, my two year old proudly said, “Mommy! I gots balls! You gots balls, Mommy?” A couple of days later he was talking to his grandmother on the phone and asked her if she “gots balls.” She thought he was talking about toy balls and said, “I sure do!” He was thrilled that his grandma has balls. 🙂

  120. cathy says:

    I have a 2 year old daughter and an 8 month old son. Since he can sit up by himself now, I have been putting them in the tub together. Each time she stares (intently) at his -then looks for hers… She doesn’t talk much-but I can tell she feels cheated like “where’s mine? he got one and I didn’t???!!!!”

  121. Lisa says:

    My son (age 3) told me I should go buy one. Go to the store and try one on and buy one.

    No Joke.

    And I’m not much of a shopper. Not sure where he got that one 😉

  122. cathy says:

    My sister and I were just talking about this the other day! When my nephew was around three-he would ask if each person in the house had a winky… “Grandma have winky??? Mommy have winky?? He took winky inventory daily for a couple weeks! lol

  123. When my 2 year old boy asked what I had and I said I had a vagina, he whined and said, “Mommy – I want a gina!!!” I laughed and laughed.

  124. Melinda says:

    I just now discovered your blog… I NEED to tell you how much I enjoyed reading it… I have a 4 and 2 year old boys… there was not one blog post that I couldn’t relate to almost exactly… I spent nap time giggling uncontrollably, hoping my out of shape core muscles would not cause me to pee my pants…PLEASE do not stop blogging…not only b/c i KNOW you will be famous and rich someday over this, but also b/c i am so happy to see somebody write about what I live every single day… thank you!!!

  125. Amy says:

    I used to bath with my dad when I was a toddler. That ended the day that I tried to grab his penis. I remember the mortified look on his face – I would have been about 2.5 or 3 at the time. Sometimes a good memory isn’t a good thing 🙂

  126. Amy says:

    When my four-year-old was starting to potty train, he would tell stories about his penis. I would take off his diaper and he would say “My penis is out riding Daddy’s motorcycle. I’d better go chase it.” and such. He still has an extremely active imagination. What fun memories!

  127. That is awesome!!!! My kid calls it a “button”. He has since he was a year old. It cracks me up. 🙂

  128. My 21 month old will point out to ANYONE (by shouting and lightly slapping the area)where her “Nova” (vulva) is in relation to her butt. Gotta love ’em.

  129. Amanda says:

    My three year old once asked in a public bathroom, ” Mama, why do you have spkies on your butt?”

  130. These comments are killing me! Can’t wait to hear what my 1 year old son comes up with in the future. Actually, I can probably wait.

  131. Kattmc17 says:

    oooooohhhhh my gosh, I’m so sorry but that is too funny =)

  132. thank you for not requiring facebook log in to comment says:

    LMAO, thank you all for sharing… hilarious!
    We say ‘paki’ in our house (is patois for gourd, slang for penis) and my (uncircumcised) son recently told me he has 3 pakis: a regular one, a skin paki (scrotum) and a ‘secret surprise paki’ (found when retracting his foreskin)…
    yay for creativity and self-exploration LOL!

    [FYI: we use the indian term yoni for lady parts, vagina is derived from ‘sheath’ and i didn’t want to define my body in relation to how it serves a man’s parts)

  133. Laura says:

    Mine figured it out at age 4 then proceeded to tell everyone they encountered who had which. Target restrooms were the best.

  134. Amber Dusick says:

    Yep, you win, yours is FUN. Plus, some people are allergic to peanuts.

  135. Mary G says:

    Years ago, when my daughter was potty training, and I was pretty sure she had learned, I started finding little puddles in front of the toilet. I discovered she was standing in front of the toilet and peeing onto the floor. I asked why. She carefully explained to me how penises and vaginas come to be: If you stand in front of the toilet and pee, then you will grow a penis. If you sit down on the toilet to pee, your penis turns inside and becomes your vagina. Anyone who wants to can make the change any time they choose. One of those priceless moments!

  136. Amber Dusick says:

    You know, I think what you said is exactly what it is! I’m in a house full of all males. Even the two cats are male. I’m the only one, which is why I think it is so interesting for him.

  137. Amber Dusick says:

    LOL! Someone hasn’t been doing their kegels!

  138. Jenni says:

    The drawing and the comments are cracking me up! My 3 yo son hasn’t shown much curiosity about boy parts and girls parts just yet, but when my iittle brother was born, I (at the age of about 3) looked at him and announced “I had one of those, but it must have fallen off.” My parents, of course, shared this story with my husband who still gets a kick out of the idea of me having a penis that fell off!

  139. Rae says:

    I’m a mother of four boys, so everything about my womanhood to them is either absolutely revolting or The World’s Biggest Mystery. And has anyone mentioned this yet–it was called a “china” in our house for many years. Also, my 3 year old showers with me sometimes and says EVERY TIME, “Ewwww, you have poop on yer penis!” At some point I gave up and stopped trying to explain pubic hair. I’t must made me look defensive and insecure anyway.

  140. seashells says:

    My 4yo thinks he has bouncy balls inside like those he gets from the quarter machine at the grocery store. 😉

  141. Amber Dusick says:

    I know & I’ve had this conversation with friends of mine. Whether we are “vulva” households or “vagina” households, which winds up being a very funny conversation. Vagina is what came out of my mouth in that particular conversation. <--see what I mean about funny conversation, look at that sentence right there. But you are absolutely right.

  142. Rae says:

    Along the same lines, my (then) 4 year old told me once: “When I grow up, I’m going to be a MAN, but you’re still just going to be a WOMAN.” lol, ouch?

  143. Amber Dusick says:

    Ha ha, that is awesome.

  144. Amber Dusick says:

    Yeah, it is really more of an “order on the internet” type thing anyway, right? LOL

  145. Donna says:

    LOL! I can picture this happening and I’m sure I’ve had similar awkward restroom conversations.

  146. Kimberly says:

    After I told my son I didn’t have a penis he would, for the next several months, randomly exclaim proudly: “Mommy doesn’t have a penis. I have a penis.”

  147. Elisha says:

    These comments cracked me up! LOL My daughter is only 10mos old and not talking yet but her expressions speak volumes!! I can just imagine the comments to come…. LOL

  148. Karen says:

    omg that made my night! i needed a laugh! my daughter says “messy, messy” when she sees me get out of the shower. to my husband she says, “what happened?” and “what’s that hanging down?”

  149. Amie says:

    Wow – this post produced some of the funniest comments!

    Until up until my son was 4 he thought a vagina was called a “China.”

    My husband came up with the oh-so-charming name of “Mr. Peener” for their goods. Men.

  150. Karen says:

    penis in your bum… things you DON’T want repeated to other people. could you imagine? at church.. to some old lady.. my mommy has a penis in her bum! LMAO!

  151. Muffie says:

    my son, when he was about 2 1/2 told me ‘Mummy my winky is very big and very hard!!’ I replied don’t worry hunny it will get small and soft again soon. He was very relieved!!!

  152. sarah says:

    lol. when you’re a kid they look scary. i remember some kid showing me a nudy magazine when i was little and i was like whats that on her??? asking about her hair down there, then he said i have one and i was like no i dont!! he said id have hair one day and i was yelling saying no id never have one of those things.

  153. AG says:

    My son has an insatiable curiosity for human anatomy – he’s 4. I’ve had to try to explain DNA to him, in a 4 yr old way. He wanted to know how the DNA from the mom and the DNA from the dad get mixed together.

    Well, not wanting to have The Talk just yet, I told him (perhaps foolishly) that daddies have a “special daddy magic” that gets put on the egg. (This was also my description for why we are not actually eating baby chickens when we have eggs).

    The drawback – he now thinks my husband can do actual magic, and requests it frequently.

  154. Sue O says:

    seriously made me laugh out loud….”just a hole”….coincidently the topic of conversation in our house tonight (with my almost 3yr old boy) was “who has a penis and who has a “gina”…..he named everyone he could think of and wanted to me tell him if they had a penis or “gina”.

  155. I get this:

    “Mama is that your hair giney?… its nice and different.”

  156. Kate says:

    That is toooooo funny.

  157. Jen says:

    I’m so enjoying all these stories! When my son was three he discovered his testicles. He shouted “Mummy! There are balls in my penis!”

  158. Kate says:

    “Ummm…no”, as in, “Ummm…no, it’s not PUH-gina OR FUH-gina.” I corrected her of course. Relax.

  159. Erin says:

    2.5 year old son, to his daddy: “Daddy, you have a bigger penis than me.”
    Daddy: “Yes, I do. That’s because I’m a grown up.”
    2.5 year-old: “Who has a bigger penis than you, then?”
    Daddy, awkwardly: “Some people have bigger ones, and some people have smaller ones…”
    2.5 year old: “But WHICH PERSON does have a bigger one?”
    Daddy: changes the subject

  160. sarah says:

    ahahaha thats hilarious

  161. Sarah says:

    Ha ha!! My son is obsessed with everyone having or not having a penis. It’s his main topic of conversation

    http://mystickfamily.blogspot.com/

  162. superdry says:

    your kid is so cut..

  163. BevJM says:

    Okay, I was laughing at all the comments, but Lenore, now I am crying with laughter! That is too funny.

  164. Alicia S. says:

    It was a “China” in our house for a long time. I was actually a little sad the day I found out that my three year learned to pronounce it correctly…

    This Christmas when Santa brought him a V-tech globe, his eyes lit up at the button that said, “This is China!” He looked up all excitedly at me and was like, “Hey mommy! That’s what I used to call your vagina!!”

  165. Kim says:

    Today’s conversation with my 5 year old son while looking at a farm book:

    “So you see Noah, the mommy pig has 14 piglets nursing on her. It’s like she has 14 boobies that all hold special milk for her babies, just like I had for you and Faithy”

    “Yeah mom, except you just have 2 boobies. And a big belly. That I can do THIS on.”

    …and then he proceeded to make fart noises on my extra-big holiday-jiggly belly.

    Awesome.

  166. LouJ says:

    When I first bathed my daughter with my then 2.5 year old son, he asked if “that” was a doodle. I said no that his sister didn’t have a doodle so he replies with “ohhhhh it’s a CRACK doodle”

    I have never laughed so hard in my life!!

  167. maria says:

    ha ha! I love it :o)

  168. maria says:

    Absolutely – I was reading about this recently – an article followed by hundreds of comments where people were getting very shirty about how you should teach your children the correct names for body parts. But only a couple of people pointed out that ‘vagina’ isn’t actually correct.

    Incidentally in our house of all boys (apart from me) penises are called ‘willies’ – I failed in that department :op

  169. Ruth says:

    This takes the cake. A BOATING ACCIDENT???? How on earth did they come up with that of all things. Hilarious.

  170. mara says:

    I often write LOL at posts, but this post and comments made me literally snort.
    Thanks for the laugh!

  171. allison says:

    a few years ago my son was with me in the bathroom and yelled, “oh my god look at that furry vaginica!” and now, two years later, vaginica is still his word of choice.
    he also loves to sneak up behind me when i’m busy, ask me to turn around, and when i do, his pants are down and he yells “weenie surprise!”

  172. Aubrey says:

    In a crowded public restroom, my son proclaimed, “mommy you pee out your bagiiiinaaa”…I could hear the giggles…love the anatomy lessons in the bathroom stalls…urethra, vagina, penis…oh my!

  173. My son ran up to me, while I was on the toilet of course, points at my vagina and goes, “BUTT!” I facepalmed… He still insists I have two butts, and doesn’t get why he’s not allowed to follow me into the bathroom any more.

  174. Beth says:

    It’s true. Grandparents have magic powers. I have an almost 2 year old grandson. He and his mother live with us. He is mostly very well behaved for us, the grandparents. – However, I also have a 6 year old daughter. She also is very well behaved…. for HER grandparents.

  175. Carrie says:

    soo funny, that’s what we call it too!

  176. angelina.fisher@gmail.com says:

    Imagine a bathroom during the intermission of the Nutcracker. My 4 yo son goes into the stall with me and as he watches me pee, he exclaims in a very loud voice: “Mommy, so you don’t have a penis…just a butt?” (now, this is after numerous conversations about ‘boys have penises; girls have vaginas’) So I say quietly “I have a butt but I also have a vagina”. He (again in a very loud voice) says “Fagina?” Again, I whisper “no, vagina, with a “v”” He continues (still loudly): “So is it a Fagina or a Vagina that you have?” I ask him to speak quieter to which he looks at me in complete surprise and asks “Why?”

  177. Madie says:

    This is hilarious!!!! Tears are running down my cheeks! I am laughing so hard, my father in law, who lives with us, has come down to check if I am ok. What do I tell him??!! LMAO

  178. Stephanie says:

    I cannot stop laughing!

  179. Nichole says:

    Nikki, we’ve taken a similar approach, which my husband was uncomfortable with in the beginning but my babes always shower with mamma their first year of life and still try climbing in with me after that, in fact anytime they hear the shower they run to it and that’s how they came to see papa in the shower. There were a few questions initially but they got over it and don’t find my body strange or hubby’s. My son is 8 now and I try to make sure he’s not nearby when I’m dressing though there is the occassion he walks in while showering or dressing and sees me and even then it’s not like, OH MY GOODNEss, it’s just eh whatever sort of attitude which is EXACTLY what I was hoping for, I don’t want him gawking should he catch any glimpses of any other woman naked, it’s a body, totally normal and doesn’t need to be this big secret that the kids are crawling all over themselves to see what a woman looks like… I hope that make sense to some other people out there, in our family this has been the best way to make bodies normal, in that I’m hoping to avoid them being sexualized because in society that’s the only way you see naked people growing up.

  180. Lidia says:

    I was naive with my first and when at the age of 3 he asked me what his penis was I said it was a part of his body where wet comes out but neglected to give him the actual name. I then proceeded to point out several other useful parts of his body (nose to breathe, eyes to see etc.) The next day he proceeded to tell everyone that he had a “buddy bud bud”. I guess I overused the word body.

  181. Heather B says:

    That is hilarious! (Hopefully for you, too, in hindsight…) Can you imagine what the lady must have thought? Too funny.

  182. heather says:

    my DS used to call it a bum. i guess he just assumed that girls have bums in the front and back. since i told him it was a vagina he now calls it a ‘gina-bum’

  183. holsch85@yahoo.com says:

    Lol! This reminds me of the *public* conversation I had with my 3 year old son recently. I was changing into my workout clothes at the Y and my son says (loudly and matter-of-factly), “Mommy has boobies and I— has nipples.” Yes, I reply, that’s correct *sigh*.

  184. Hannah says:

    I have three girls, so peanuts and noodles and the like don’t really come up, but what they ARE interested in, is boobs. My oldest walked in on me changing and said “Are those your extra elbows?” I wish I hand extra elbows – then they’d have hands attached and I could get more done 🙂

  185. Pallavi says:

    LOL…My pre-school girl informed me that boy’s bottoms are called penis because they look like peanuts. And peanuts sounds like penis. Had to fight hard to keep my composure!

  186. Jamie says:

    When my son was little, he used to say “boys have wieners and girls have not-wieners. When my son was little, he used to say “boys have wieners and girls have not-wieners. Now he knows the proper names for them. I had two kids after him, and the first time my 18 month old daughter watched me changing her baby brother, she go the most disgusted look on her face and said “Eeeeeeeew, why he’s got a hot-gog in his diaper mom???!?” Now she is 2.5, and under the impression that your hair-length is what determines your gender…. ?? Kids are so silly.

  187. Jamie-Lynne says:

    Too funny. My daughter loves boobs. She always says, I like your pretty bras and big boobies, and then proceeds to try and pet them, lol. Um, thank you. Did I mention I have TINY boobs? lol

  188. Danielle says:

    omg omg hahahahahaha

  189. NancyJ says:

    I really do love Snickers bars, yet another amazing thing I have in common with the greatest Jedi ever. And this is one amazing blog, Amber Dusick. Thank YOU!

  190. Krysta says:

    It’s like they sort of feel bad for us non members of the penis club LOL.

  191. In my house, girls have a “hooha” and Daddy doesn’t because he’s a boy. We still can’t get to specifically call boy parts anything, but at least she knows boys are different haha.

  192. LIndsay says:

    For a while when my oldest was 4 she used to call a penis a booty finger. So hard not to laugh in front of her when she said that. She explained that it looked like a finger attached to the booty, so it must be a booty finger.

  193. Francesca says:

    This is great! But I agree that Allison’s father was a bit of an idiot.

  194. Manda says:

    My 3 year old: I have a penis, Daddy has a penis, Mummy has a penis…
    Me: No honey, I don’t have a penis, I have a vagina
    My 3 year old: **thinks for 5 seconds, then says “you left it in China?”

  195. Erin says:

    When my oldest (now 12.5!) was 3.5 she saw daddy getting ready for work in his boxer briefs. Next thing you know she told grandma, while making a dramatic hand gesture, “My daddy’s penis is HUGE”. When my mom told me this I nearly died, but she was laughing her head off…

  196. Lea O. says:

    I think my response was the same!! The husband too! LOL I just gave my son a big kiss, and said thank you! He said “why you say thank you to me mommy?”!!!!! LOLLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!

  197. Jen b says:

    my crappy boy told his teachers at play school that “mommy has a BIG vagina cause she’s a big girl.”

  198. Brandy says:

    My daughter said the same thing…. my response was, “well, after two kids, it is now!”

  199. Deborah says:

    HYSTERICAL! I can’t wait till my little one starts really talking… wait do I mean that?

  200. Kate says:

    When I was pregnant with my third, my 4 y/o was really concerned that it needed to be a girl. He already had a little brother, and told everyone that his mom would be lonely with the only vagina in the house if we had another boy. Whenever any stranger asked him if he wanted another brother or a sister, he answered that he wanted a sister so Mom wouldn’t have the only vagina at our house. We had a little girl, so he’s relieved that everything worked out 🙂

  201. Christine says:

    (Typical man)

  202. Christine says:

    We have come a long way baby…

  203. Christine says:

    That is when you change churches. 🙂

  204. Christine says:

    It’s really only awkward for the dads (as opposed to awkward for everybody…). 🙂

    Moms seem to end up being naked (ish) in front of their sons a lot more in most households I think.

    (As for “hiding the goods”, is that so her expectations aren’t too high? Or too low?) 😀

  205. Christine says:

    Agree. Completely. But would still be surprised if he doesn’t react obnoxiously when he comes across his first porno mag!

  206. Denise says:

    When I was pregnant my nephews informed me that babies either come out from “the sunroof” or from a water slide out of their mama’s bottoms. For the record, my daughter came out the sunroof.

  207. Christine says:

    Thank you for this Nancy. You just made my week. Grandparents are not perfect, the y are just armed with snickers bars…

  208. Christine says:

    Yup.

  209. chrpangel says:

    My friend at work said when her daughter was little she used to call it her “fine china”! lol

  210. Christine says:

    I won’t let my children read that until they are at least 8 years old. And van spell “vagina”.

  211. chrpangel says:

    OMG this is so funny! Totally made me laugh out loud!

  212. Christine says:

    Your dad was right.

  213. Thomas Lee says:

    In our house it was “dinker” & “tinkerbell”. “Tommy, does your dinker hurt? Does it burn?” Lolololol

  214. Christine says:

    And she will be welcomed warmly into the trans community…

  215. Janette says:

    My 4yr old isn’t completely convinced that his sister & I don’t have a penis. To my 20yr old daughter’s embarrasment, he asks her all. the. time. to see her penis. If she goes to the bathroom, he bolts to the door to ask to see it. She is mortified and of course will not let him see, just making him more curious. I think I may have to buy him a book. Reading the Christmas story started this by the way! “HOW did the baby get in there?” “WHERE, did the baby come out?” “No, not her opening, WHERE?” “HOW does the sperm get in there?!”… Merry Christmas to me! ;-D

  216. Katy says:

    My 4yo is convinced she has a penis like her brother. I keep gently reminding her that she has a vagina. So now she calls it her “pee-pee-ness” or maybe it’s “pee-penis” I’m not entirely sure.

  217. Katy says:

    Hahahahshaha! Love that!

  218. Jordon says:

    Your post is too funny!

    I was changing in front of my son (at the time he was 2) and the conversation went like this:

    “Mommy has a penis?”
    I say “No, mommies don’t have a penis, only boys do” He waits a second and says, “Daddy has a penis?”
    I say yes
    “M (himself) has a penis?”
    I say yes
    “F (brother) has a penis?”
    I say yes,
    Then he states “you go get one” and he walked away 🙂

  219. Betsy says:

    I told my kids about the difference between a vulva/vagina combo and a penis and they were cool with that. but then we got hung up because I drive a VOLVO, not to be confused with driving a VULVA, and grandpop wears SPECTACLES, not to be confusing with wearing TESTICLES.

  220. that is hilarious and reminds that a few months back, my hubby got a surgery on his lower back, and they left a draining tube in for a few days. When I was changing his dressing, our son came in and said ohhhh mommy daddy has a tail!!! and then it stuck. then he didn’t say it for a while, and all of a sudden it is back but when he sees “the front one!!”

  221. Tor-REE says:

    Just amazing how much they have to learn. A friend of mine who’s boys are teenagers always has words of encouragement for us younger moms, she likes to say “Children are like visitors from another planet.” Learning all the terminology for boring things like chairs and bananas is hard enough to get straight but then you throw in the sex organs and things get interesting for sure! I’m always amazed at how we all grow up and learn to pretend we’ve figured things out.

  222. DL says:

    Holy cow, “What happened?” That is BEAUTIFUL!!!

  223. Marija says:

    Re-telling some of the comments here in front of my (ever listening to frivolous stuff) 8 year old son, he asked “what is vagina?” I explain that is woman’s part, and different from men. Then he asks what is men’s part called and I say “penis”. His reaction: Not fair, such a ordinary name!

    When he was 3 and half – 4 we went to swimming pool birthday party. We undressed him and turned to his baby sister, trying to get her out of snowsuit into swim suit. He was “entertaining” himself by rubbing his penis, and then he loudly exclaimed in excitement: look mommy, I can pump it up!

  224. Jamie McMillan says:

    My friend was out at a restaurant with his 3 year old son. In the full restroom in a stall his son said “daddy do I have a little penis?”. His dad said “yeah you’re a little guy so you have a little penis”. His son responded with “daddy do you have a big penis”. His dad said “I have a normal sized penis because I’m a normal sized guy”. His son the states loudly ” no daddy, you have a giant penis”.

  225. Alicia C. says:

    My little guy is very concerned for my lack of having a penis. He even declared that he was saving his pennies in his piggy bank so he could go buy me one! I tried explaining that I don’t really need (or want!) one, but he just shakes his head and gives me a big, old “poor Mommy” hug.
    (Can you tell I’m the only female in the house?! Even the cat’s a boy!)

  226. Kelly says:

    Oh Lord it hurts…so, so funny (the comments as much as the post!).

  227. My daughter tells me my bottom is dusty.

  228. Kellie says:

    ME TOO.

  229. MaryMargaret says:

    When I was pregnant for my second child, my 3yo knew we were expecting…. I was HUGE…. and my dad has a big belly. When asked why my belly was big, she responded “you are growing a baby in there” When asked why Pa’s belly was big, she responded “he eats too much!” My dad laughed louder than I have ever heard him laugh! It was hysterical!

  230. Pippi says:

    OMG I’m so snorting out loud!! My almost 3-yr-old asked “is it called a pee-nis cuz that’s where the pee comes out?!

  231. Biolith says:

    Spotted hyenas have to do that – we actually have it lucky.

  232. tl says:

    One day my son (3 at the time), walked in on me right after I got out of the shower. He stared. Then bent over and tried looking under my legs. “Where IS it?” He asks.

  233. Danielle E. says:

    When my niece was 2, she saw my brother in the shower. She pointed and started laughing hysterically. What a shot to the self esteem!

  234. Kara says:

    Have two girls, we call them gigis in our house. My youngest went to a birthday party and met a girl named…Gigi. “Hey!” My daughter called out, “Cool, that’s my ‘gina’s name too!” Thinking of offering therapy lessons for the traumatized kid.

  235. Danielle E. says:

    In my house, my boys have pieners and testiballs… penis plus wiener equals pieners and testicles plus balls equals testiballs. They do know the correct names, but prefer their combined names. I actually prefer them to what they were calling them… twig and berries! My mother taught them that one.

    I have four sons and only the almost 12 year old has been told about vaginas… my 3yr old and 2yr old have asked where my penis is, but when I tell them I don’t have one, they have yet to ask what I do have.

  236. mrsmolly says:

    These are great comments (specially love the fun-gina)

    My 4 yo recently saw her (shy) Dad naked and asked him where he got his bottom pickle from. Not sure he liked that description!

    We’re doing IVF and need help of an egg donor. We were at the clinic, and she explained to the nurse and the entire waiting room through the open door that Mummy’s egg carton was empty but hopefully the clinic ‘shop’ would have some for us. Well they did have all the pictures up of female anatomy on the wall. As we walked eyes averted through the smiling faces of the waiting patients, one woman remarked to her partner that our dd had a better grasp of female anatomy than he did! Lol.

  237. Vicki says:

    You are toooo funny Amber! Your sense of humor is dead on 🙂 I’d like to share a story that my Mom (also a Jedi with superb skills) likes to tell – when I was small, I saw her “down below” and curiously asked how she did her pee through all that FUR!! Hahaha…it still makes me laugh every time I hear it! My daughter is only 7 months old, but I can’t wait to hear some of the gems she will surely come up with one day 🙂

  238. Juliet Farmer says:

    In our house all items in the bottom unit are collectively known as BITS! Boy Bits…Girl Bits.. Wash your Bits.. Cover your Bits… Get your hand off your Bits (please!) 🙂

  239. Megan says:

    My daughter once told me while I was getting dressed, “Mommy, I like your butt and your other butt.” My sisters and I still laugh about that one. She also told my father that the way her Daddy pees is magical. 🙂

  240. Katie says:

    My sons best question of all time while we took a shower…”Mommy, why does your pee pee look like a butt!?!?!?”

  241. Lynn says:

    We also didn’t hide nudity. As the children grew up, they developed their own levels of modesty and started not being in the room when someone else changed and started closing doors when they themselves did. When my son was 11, I still wondered why he didn’t seem uncomfortable talking to me as I got out of the shower. By 12, he no longer knocked to come in. My daughter got modest about her own self first. By age 7 or 8, she didn’t want me to look if she was changing. Now 10.5, she still has no such discomfort being around me when I undress, but long ago stopped barging intor our bedroom in case Daddy was undressing.

    • JenO says:

      Lynn, I’m glad to see there is at least one other person on the planet with the same approach to nudity as me! We insist on door shut and locked when mama and papa are having “alone adult time,” but that’s about it. My husband is VERY modest about nudity, so my son learned to pee sitting down and still has no desire to pee standing up at age 6 and a 1/2 – which is fine with me! less mess that way! I figure that by the time he hits puberty, he’ll want everyone to be more modest. But I figure I’ll just respect his comfort level as it changes, no need to hyper-sexualize body parts that have other useful functions.

  242. Jo says:

    We only have 1 bathroom so my kids (who never understand when the door is closed knock and wait for it to open) inadvertantly see me/my husband in the shower sometimes. We do try to be modest. When my oldest son was 3 my my daughter was an infant. Their sitter had girls who were about the same ages. My oldest was potty trained, but her daughter his age was not. She was changing her 3 year old one day and my son was very upset. He was concerned that her penis had fallen off. I guess he thought the baby would ‘grow one’. I had to do my best not to laugh when she told me the story.

  243. audrey says:

    It’s also important if for some reason (God forbid) they are abused at some time. If all they can say are cutsy names for their privates it isn’t admissible in court. (or so I’ve been told)

  244. carley says:

    so funny

  245. Shon says:

    Just found this blog today. Love it! Who said stick-figure drawing couldn’t make you famous?! I knew I should have stuck with my kindergarten art skills!

  246. Robyn says:

    Mine flips out when it gets hard! I mean, in tears! He starts smacking it and crying that it needs to go down.

  247. Erin says:

    That’s what we did – a must with only one bathroom. Our daughter is almost six now and discovering modesty. Our son is going into the potty training thing and that will be an adventure. Our daughter still wishes she could pee standing up and she feels the most strongly about this while in Target bathrooms.

  248. Danielle E. says:

    This made me LOL! My 3.5yr old was recntly hanging out with his great grandmother. They were watching TV when he randomly said, “Isaac has a penis.” (Isaac is my 2yr old). My grandmother said, “Ok…” then my son said, “But mine is bigger!” Grandma didn’t know what to say, so she said, “Well, that’s nice, dear!” Hahaha! I still get the giggles from that!

  249. Danielle E. says:

    That is awesome! Thanks for the story, it made my night! Bwahahaha!

  250. Sheila says:

    My 4 yo thinks by boobs are babies. He says I’m going to have three babies (since I am pregnant).

  251. Mary Yarwood says:

    Just after my son was born my daughter was 2 1/2 and going to nursery. She told her teachers that “daddy had a big willy” promptly followed by “but Isaac has a little willy.” Teachers had difficulty keeping a straight face when hubby went to pick her up in the evening.

  252. Exactly what my son called it for a long time. He’s 4 now and I think he finally understands to separate the words.

  253. 4eversmiling says:

    I LOVE your blog!! And I have spent the last little while laughing out loud soooo HARD! Your post, and everybody’s stories are hilarious! My daughter is only 4 months right now, but i’m looking forward to all the funny things she will say! =)

  254. Barb T. says:

    My son was about 4 1/2, when I explained the different body parts. He was SO confused how I went pee if I didn’t have a pee – nis…. lol… and then he asked if he could see mine. Um…. no.

  255. Monika W. says:

    When my son was 3, he too was sad to discover that Mama did not have a penis. Being a great problem solver, he immediately suggested that I ask Santa to bring one for me.

  256. lezlie81@hotmail.com says:

    We were sharing a cavernous bathroom with the cleaning lady when my son was 2. We had been at the beach and were trying to get the sand out of our nether regions when he piped up, “Mom? You just have a BIG puh-china?”

  257. Anita says:

    Went to the bathrooms with Master Two at the Sydney Cricket Ground. When we were leaving he proceeded to tell all the ladies waiting – “I stand up to wee ’cause I have a penis – You have to sit because you have a ‘gina’!”
    Giggles all round!

  258. Leah says:

    Hilarious.

  259. Sarah says:

    We taught our daughter the correct words for genitals very young, at the same time she was learning head, tummy, hands, arms, etc, so at 2 1/2 she knows them comfortably. Not so great when you’re in the public toilet and she yells, ‘Mummy’s wiping her vul-vaaaaaaaa’, or tells the grandparents that ‘Daddy has a big, huge, ‘anooormous’ penis’ (lol, I work with children so she only has a baby to compare him to, I suppose it does look enormous to her). Gotta love them 🙂

  260. Sherri says:

    My 3 year old walked in on her dad getting dressed and then informed me..oh look mommy..daddy has a tail! Kids are just awesome!

  261. JJMeMeMommy says:

    My 3yo said “Oh no,Mama, my penis is big!” “Well, perhaps if you stop touching it, son…”

  262. Sara says:

    What’s so awesome about your post is I had this exact conversation with my 4yo this AM on the way to school. When I told him I don’t have a penis, he suggested I buy one later when we go shopping.

  263. lezlie81@hotmail.com says:

    I have enjoyed laughing at the comments over the DAYS it took me to read them. (Thanks for the laughs!)

    Today, my own daughter (who is potty training…finally…at two months shy of 3 years old) barged in the bathroom as I was exiting the shower. Inspired by some of what I’ve read here, I just continued going about the business of drying off when she pointed and asked, “What’s that?”
    “That’s my vagina,” I said.
    “No. What is that stinkiness?” she asked, still pointing.

    Motherhood has to come with a built-in unshakable self-esteem.

  264. Betsy says:

    thank you. thank you.

  265. Gret says:

    I’ve got five sons. No daughters. We’ve never hidden nudity and always talked about penises and vaginas just like any other body part. my 3yr old was having this conversation with me on day: “Mum, I got a penis, dad got a penis, Olli got a penis, Jordie got a penis, Gabe got a penis, Sander got a penis…. We got a lot of penis!! What you got Mum? A gyna. Coz you the only girl.”

  266. Kristin says:

    Lol! When my son (3 at the time) saw his little sister getting a diaper change he shouted: “Sissy has a butt in the front!”

  267. Maria says:

    My son is going through this stage right now. “Mommy I has a penis and you has a gina?” Last week in front of my seventy year old neighbor he asked me if she had a vagina. She took it well but I won’t be bringing him to church any time soon.

  268. hm102398@longlines.com says:

    I LOVE your blog!!! It makes me laugh out loud everytime I read it! (this one especially) I had to share too – My friend’s 3 year old once came into the bathroom while she was showering and pulled back the curtain. Of course we all know where his eye level was and he gave her a funny look and said “Mom, you got a mustache or something?!” She decided it was time to start locking the bathroom door. Ha!!

  269. vikki says:

    hahahah!!!

  270. Mariah says:

    I remember saying to my mom when I was about three, “Daddy has a worm bottom.”

    Also, I heard a story somewhere very similar to this one. The kid said, “You have a vaGIANT penis?”

  271. Erika says:

    Lol! My daughter asked my husband the opposite. She said, “Daddy, do you have a long vagina?” Bahahaha!

  272. Twila says:

    that is hilarious! LOL! I can just imagine the letter… “Dear Santa, my mommy really wants a penis for Christmas….”

  273. Twila says:

    when my daughter was 22 mths she noticed during a diaper change that her 2 mth old brother had ‘something’ different. When I told her it was a penis she said “Where my penif?” so I told her she didn’t have one but she had a vagina(tried to make this sound incredibly fun as I could sense the melt down ahead) She was indignant that he had something she did not “I want penif too!” And that sentence would come out at random times (playgroup, the mall, the grocery store, church….) “I want PENIF!!!!” awesome

  274. Buffy says:

    Ya’ll are KILLING me! I am sick with the respiratory crud today which makes me cough up a lung every time I laugh but I can’t stop reading! You’ve made me almost wet my pants twice. This blog is so wonderful I am doomed to wear depends while reading from now on…

    Cant remember what my kids called our various body parts. Hey, they are 23 and 27 so I’m allowed to forget some stuff… Think I’ll ask them both at dinner though and see what kind of reaction I get…. Bwahahahahaha (Evil Mother Laugh.. Cough cough cough)

  275. Karen B. says:

    When my son was about three years old he came out of his room very excited and announced that he had found his ‘penis beans’. We’ll remind him of that for the rest of his life. My daughter is still trying to learn the correct terminology and recently announced, loudly, in a public restroom, that Mommy has fur on her bottom.

  276. Sarah says:

    OMG!!! a butt in the front!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA omg im rolling

  277. Sarah says:

    Nice one!!! LOLOL

  278. Sarah says:

    HAHAHAHA

  279. amelia says:

    My 2 year old daughter told me that when she grown up she will have a ‘hair bum’ and a period, or a ‘yucky’ as she calls it. She’s really quite excited about it lol.

  280. Erin says:

    Hahaa! My 3 year old daughter approached her cousin – a 2 year old boy – while he was being changed, and said to him, “I like your vagina.” My sister replied, “Well, he’s a boy, so he has a penis.” And, my daughter thought a moment with squinty eyes, then said to him matter of fact-ly, “I like your vagina…..that’s…called….a penis!” 🙂

  281. Stasi says:

    My 3 yr old daughter was asked by her dad if she was a comic genius. She replied, “No, Daddy, I have a ‘gyna.” he was like, “huh?” so she said, “Kieran and you have penises, and Mommy and me have geniuses.”

    • Stasi says:

      Wait I told that wrong. It was her brother who was the comic genius, and she said no, he isn’t a genius, he has a penis. Then she said we have geniuses. Anyway. I’m muddling the story but the basic point has gotten across.

  282. Yvonne says:

    My 3.5 year old told her grandparents that :”my daddy wees backwards”.

    Btw, I have been recently alerted to your webste and I am completely addicted. I have now learnt never to consume hot beverages when reading your posts as spat out coffee doesn’t work too well on my trousers or my screen.

    Mine are 3.5 and 5.5 and I feel every post of yours very. very deeply.

    Thank you!

  283. JenO says:

    my son is 6 and I have had to teach him that he needs to not fondle my breasts anymore. Recently he looked at me with such innocent sadness and said, “but why, mommy? they feel so nice…”

    i think his daddy probably agrees 😉

  284. JenO says:

    yep. my son was also extremely upset when his penis got hard and ‘too big’. he seemed quite relieved when I told him it was normal that it would do that sometimes and it would get soft and small again if he left it alone. then of course there were all the times when he absent-mindedly twisted the thing into pretzel shapes during baths and diaper changes. amazing how stretchy it can be!

    also, he’s not circumsized which he asked about after seeing his cousins circumsized penis shortly after his birth. It was all purple and angry-looking. and my son asked what was wrong with cousin’s penis. I explained circumscision and told him why we didn’t have him circumsized, and that it was something he could have done as an adult if he really wanted to, and his response was that he was worried that his cousin would be ok and did it hurt etc and that it looked weird and looked like it hurt.

  285. AM says:

    My two year old daughter once saw my husband/her daddy getting out of the shower. She said, with a great amount of excitement, “Daddy! You have a big penist! Mommy be so happy!”

    Just to clarify…my husband was always getting our kids to do chores and such by telling them mommy would be very happy. Hence the awkward comment…

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