This stage is in full force here:
I win! He loves me soooooo much!
Actually, I lose.
Can Crappy Papa help Crappy Baby get out of the tub? NO, MAMA!
Can Crappy Papa read Crappy Baby a book? NO, MAMA!
Can Crappy Papa do anything at all? NO, MAMA!
Crappy Baby refuses to accept the existence of Crappy Papa. This means I have to do everything. It sucks to do everything.
I lose.
Also, it breaks Crappy Papa’s heart. Okay, only a little. We’ve been through this before so he knows it doesn’t last long. He might even be enjoying it. I’m onto him.
————————
To the three dads that read this blog: it is just a stage. They don’t really hate you. I mean, they totally do, but they also hate everything else sometimes too. Toddlers are not to be trusted. They will tolerate you and even like you again at some point. Don’t sweat this stage. Enjoy it. Pretty soon you won’t be able to get away with the “He/she only wants you” hand off and you’ll have to do stuff again. Act really sad about it and the mom will feel bad for you. You might even get a massage. (But I doubt it, don’t push your luck.)
This stage always reminds me of that baby on the Dinosaurs sitcom from the early ’90s. Anyone remember that? Here is a collection of the classic Not the Momma! scenes.
I loved that show and that line! Not the mama, not the mama! It’s totally a phase. My daughter went through it, too, and now she’s all over her daddy.
My Crappy Boy is 4…still only wants me…toddler twin sisters, and bigger sisters want daddy though! YAY!
“Toddlers are not to be trusted. They will tolerate you and even like you again at some point.” – So Toddlers are like cats. 🙂
Pretty much!
Awesome point – sooooo true!!!
my son does this all the time… i luv it!!
Hahaha I do remember that show! Memories 😀
I had a SUPER smug moment last week when at 5am we heard “Daddy….. Time to get up”. WINNNNN. I don’t feel sad or unloved or any of these things. I feel warm and snuggly and still in my bed. It won’t last…. and this, I am sad about.
This comment made me laugh so much I almost peed in my pants :DDD
I feel the same way. i love when my kids want their dad. it means I dont have to get a million and one times a night.
This has NEVER happened at my house. You are so lucky.
you are lucky. My husband started tickling my son when he woke him up. So now, guess who gets woken up every. single. saturday. and sunday? THE MOMA. UGGG.
This is my life in Crappy pictures. lol
Sometimes however, my one year old doesn’t want me, he wants his dad!… and that lasts about 2.5 seconds before he wants dad to put him down so he can cling on my leg. literally… He holds onto my leg and doesn’t let go….. -.-
My son started by hanging on my leg. Then he got bigger, and stronger, and now he pulls down my pants or skirt when he hangs on my legs… and thinks it’s a riot.
We’re in this stage right now (though the little one is only one, so it includes griping me like no tomorrow when I try to pass him off to dad). My husband hadn’t even considered the implication that this meant I was doing a heck of a lot of work, he kept saying how lucky I was until I pointed it out. Though, I must say the cuddles make it worth it 🙂
Wow, didn’t realize I was part of such a elite membership!
-One of the three dads
HAHA!
I suppose I might count as another. Who’s the third?
Me?
Though, I must say it is totally the opposite with our family, if I am around my wife doesn’t get a look in with anything.
That would be me 🙂
Wait a second, how many of us are there?!
I count at least 6. We’re not so special after all…
Count me in! 🙂
We’re special for our not specialness?
Me too! Maybe you need to do a poll Amber?
I guess that makes ten?
I had no idea there were so many of you! Six dad readers who actually commented. I think I broke a record.
I love all your stuff and am scared to death of all the scary moments and hopeful for all the wonderful things you post about. My boy is 10 months now and I started reading your blog when I found out he was on the way about 9 months before that. Thanks so much for it all!
one more dad here
really enjoying the blog
our little one is switching constantly between
“No Mama!” and “No Papa!” phase…
here’s another one! i love the comic. not much in here is actually mom-related, just parent-related.
-bill
And another…Dad.
My daughter only wants mommy when she’s home. I watch her all day so I understand.
Mark
Perhaps it’s just time we all came “out of the closet” 😉
I am actually the one who turned my wife on to your blog. I stumbled across it this past spring in my withdrawal from “Looky Daddy” So, add on to the Dad count again!
This post really hits home for me. Of course, in my heart, I already knew what you said is true… that it’s just a stage. But it still hurts every time. Thanks again.
Aww hang in there. There are stages where they will want dad more – you’ll see :). PS. You must be the second dad.
With our first it got me too. Didn’t last too long and my wife kept reassuring me my day would come. With the second, it hasn’t been tough yet and I know that each of us has a place in the little ones’ hearts and thoughts. You’ll get there soon enough!
Lol our son was going through this stage right before my husband left for deployment and it broke my his heart but I was almost glad since it meant that MAYBE he wouldn’t miss daddy too badly when he left. YEAH, right… Today, for the first time ever, my little guy said “no! I want daddy…” only to have to be told that daddy is still at work for a few more months.
Well that is heartbreaking and perspective-giving. Thanks:) And thank you and your family for your sacrifice. It is much appreciated.
I couldn’t agree more! Thank you.
Awe. That makes me sad. My family thanks yours for serving our country.
Yes, thanks to your hubby and those that serve! Every time my spouse goes away for a few days due to work I have to fight the urge to panic. I don’t know how military families manage – but I’m so thankful someone keeps their families together while they serve our country!
I wish nothing more than for your husband to be home!
Lyn, my son must have been about the same age as yours was when his daddy left for Iraq (about 14 months old). He’s 2.5 and daddy has been back for 5 months. Guess what? DADDY HAS TO DO EVERYTHING. “No, I want daddy” is music to both of our ears. 😉
My husband was in Agstan when my daughter was 8mo-15mo. When he came back she was ALL ABOUT MOMMY ONLY! Now though, a few months later its DADDDDDDDDDDDDDDY, and its great!
I have the same situation my 1 1/2 boy its always on top of me and my 3 1/2 too.
So dad it free to do what ever he wants , and im stuck with this 2.
Thats motherhood.
Yes, nothing like daddy coming home from work, not a moment too soon and passing baby over just for him to cling to you and scream Mama! While daddy just walks off chuckling and takes a long hot shower or something equally annoying.
BINGO! I love “something equally annoying”. SO true!
Oh yes! Only ours was opposite. Our two year old went through a tough phase of Daddy love. Hey, it’s OK kid…I only nursed you every three hours for 8-9 months (who needs sleep?). I only changed the nastiest diapers ever smelled. I even just cleaned your vomit out of, oh I don’t know….everything. I let you lay limp on me, and fall asleep for HOURS while you were sick and all sweaty (and actually loved every snuggled moment of it outside of the sick part). Go ahead. Love on Daddy! :o) He is chilling out now, though…. Plus I’ve learned to use it to my advantage. “Uh oh! I smell a stinky diaper. Who do you want to change it, sweetie? Mommy, or Daddy?” :oD I win!
Lol,
Mine is the same way!
He is 3 & a half & Daddy works 2nd shift (3pm-1:30am atm with OT), so between being at work & having to sleep, he sees Daddy maybe 2 hrs a day, so on the weekends its like he has Daddy-withdrawals & wants to spend EVERY single second with Daddy. I don’t mind, lol, specially now with #2 on the way! & I too shamelessly ask him “Who do you want to put you to bed? or feed you? or help you go potty? or whatever other inconvenient thing he wants me to get up & do for him, lol. Its awesome!
We had the “No Mama” phase when he was under a year old & it was exhausting, what with breastfeeding & waking up 20,000 times a night & finally sleeping on the couch next to the pack & play because between waking up so much for the baby & the Daddy coming to bed at stupid hours & waking me up again in the process, it was just easier to sleep somewhere else!
For a long time, my inlaws called us “Momma & Not the Momma” coz of the show & the way baby was.
I prefer being ignored & not thought of as cool anymore, being the cool parent is EXHAUSTING!
*laughs* My husband (who also comes to bed at stupid times, especially on the weekend) keeps complaining that the little guy is always in bed with us. I TRY explaining that I don’t even remember bringing him to bed -I always put him to sleep in his toddler bed, and wake up in the morning and there he is in bed with me, and I’ve gotten a decent night’s sleep for once. If your husband doesn’t use his side of the bed very often, you should try co-sleeping – it makes a world of difference 😛
Apparently I did this a little girl – broke my mother’s heart *sighs*. Sorry mom!
My son wants me all the time, but that is half understandable. I have a husband (I think?) but we work opposite shifts, so we spend maybe 1/2 an hour per day together, and our son is usually asleep for one of the two times our paths might intersect. On the weekend my husband sleeps as much as he can, and even when he’s awake he’s not a very hands-on kinda dad. I am waiting for the day that B says “No, Dad!”… but I think it will be more likely that he’ll say “No, Bida” or “No,Kaka!” (what he the people at his daycare :P)
Me too, Dena! My son is 3 and Daddy is still his favourite. When he calls for mommy I know there is some kind of illness coming on. Recently I took my son up to a friends’ cottage for a few days before Daddy joined us…and got to have my own smug moment when he picked me (ME!) over daddy for the first time in a looong time. 😉
Two of Three
I think you are the fourth to comment so she must have more dad fans than she realized.
my 19-mo-old is into BITING her papa, but not me. i’ve been feeling like the superior, more-respected parent but after reading this something tells me i might be next…
Biting, the greatest sign of affection. Since it’s shark week coming up, I’ve been biting my toddler a lot to get her excited about it.
so funny…my husband sings to her, “baby shark…sh sh shhh shhh..baby shark sh sh shhh shh….”
THAT is the funniest comment ever.
My older son actually did seem to think that biting was kissing. My sitter (a grandma and very wise woman) said to nip him back (just enough so he could feel my teeth, but not enough to hurt) and he’d figure out it wasn’t a kiss. I felt awful about it, but it worked.
Try screaming, that also works. I got bit once by my son and once by my daughter, both times I screamed (partly deliberately…) they didn’t repeat offend.
I like screaming as a general disciplinary tactic. She hits her cousin, I scream. She drops her sippy, I scream.
Ha ha ha ha! Love it!
My barely one year old bites hits kicks headbutts throws things pulls hair scratches and pinches it’s toned down a lot but the hitting kicking and biting are still problems. Mainly biting.
I didnt realize I was Dad # 2! Wow!!!! 🙂
This blog is A-W-E-S-O-M-E. Amber I have followed it for over a year and you do such a great job with it. The wit and chilling dose of reality always gives me such a laugh. And yes, sometimes misery loves company (no matter if you are a mom or a dad). Thanks for making it so fun!
#5 as far as I can see.
YES, THIS!
My 2 year old told my husband that he couldn’t put her in car seat this morning – MOMMY DO! He told her it was “Daddy’s Job” and of course, now it’s “Mommy’s job”… Under my breath I’m grumbling “but mommy already has sooooo many jobs!” GRRRR!
My 2 year old boy only wants Papa! And I’m the one making sad faces. Am I weird? 🙂
Same here Olivia. If my 20 month old has a choice between Mommy and Daddy, he always chooses Daddy!
we’re onto that stage right now, if dad’s changing her diapers, all of the sudden she screams “nooo!! mamaaaaa!!!” and I have to stop whatever I’m doing so we can change her diaper and move on, same thing with going to sleep, fill her sippy cup…
This happens in our house too. Why is it that only mummy can apparently wipe bottoms! Oh my super powers are endless 🙂
That stage drives me NUTS! Mostly because I AM the momma! LOL!
I’m pretty sure that the moments when the kids yell, “DADDY!” melt my husband’s heart.
That is exactly how it has been for each of our 3 daughters. Actually I’m still going through it with our youngest…ugh
Cute post, as always. But…My advice, as a mother of many, is not to let the toddler call these shots. Mine is going through a phase right now in which “only Mama” can put him to bed. Our response? ONLY DADDY will put him to bed, until he doesn’t care anymore. This, too, shall pass. At the end of it, either he will be a conqueror, or just a bit more obedient. jmho
We are doing this too, well kind of. Whoever is there and available does it. If it’s not the parent you wanted, tough luck. You can throw a tantrum if you want but we’re not budging. We do make exceptions for sick, hurt, or overly tired children.
Yep, here too. Mommy and Daddy take turns on the doing stuff, and that’s just how it is whether she likes it or not. Still not fun for anyone, but at least I’m not actually stuck doing eeeeeeeverything. I will still be happy when this stage passes, though–for many reasons!
OMG, drink in the “no” stage while you can. Next comes the “why”: stage: http://www.ilikebeerandbabies.com/2012/06/toddler-inquisition.html.
We are in that stage as well!!!! I feel for my hubby, I can see it hurts. AND I LOVE THE SHOW DINOSAURS!!! Yes, my mothers is still holding in the attic storage a stuffed baby dinosaur with a pull string in which he says all his classic lines… including… “not the mama!” Hilarious.
My daughter, who is 3 1/2 has been in a NO, DADDY stage since about 24 months. It means that when Daddy is home I am off the hook from her crazy 3 years old whims. Of course I still have a 20 month old but he loves both mama and daddy equally (for now)
My husband is a teacher, home all summer. I work full time with a 45 minute commute on each end. I’m in your position right now with our almost 2 year old. I love my son, but I can’t say that I’m altogether annoyed by this. (BTW, kiddo still goes to daycare, Daddy just brings him over late, etc. in the summer, and does take the occasional “let’s go swimming” day.)
Just emailed this to my husband and told him it had been written for him! But he doesn’t need help to pull off the pitiful routine while I’m dealing with nonstop potty trips, baths, bedtimes, boo-boos, mealtime issues, etc, etc. He’s got that routine down, lol!
THREE of THREE!!
Elite dad checking in… where’s the 3rd? Also to comment on the post – our twins happen to be in a Da! phase. It comes and goes 🙂
edit… whoa too slow!!
Wow, I’m elite. Being gone in Afghanistan helped mitigate some of that phase, though mine is 2.5 and is just now getting used to daddy doing stuff for her instead of mommy.
Thank you for your service! Glad you are home safe with your family. 🙂
Ditto to what Rose said. On top of risking your life for us, you are away from your family. It’s people like you sir, that are TRUE super hero’s in my book. Thank you is not really enough.
OH MY GOSH!!!! I just watched the clip you posted and few more… and the voice of baby Sinclair sounded so familiar… I thought… wow he sounds just like ELMO!!! Sure enough! Kevin Clash is the voice!!! Hilarious!!!
I only read it because my wife asks me every time, “hey did read today’s?”
We’re in a Daddy stage for both kids. And I have to say…I’m lovin’ it!
I hated this stage the first time around! It does only last a little while though. Was very said with our first, but I have to admit I was quietly smiling on the inside with our second! I love you blog – our kids are close to yours in age, 5-1/2 & 2-1/2, plus a new crappy baby – always great to see our kids crazyness is similair to everyones!
My 21 month old only wants me but the older two fight over Daddy. I’m not gonna lie, it’s kinda nice.
I remember that Dinosaurs show! We even have one on VCR (not that I can find it…). “Not the Mamma!” used to be the nickname we gave our 2nd kid… because he was in that phase for such a long time. My tired arms… I had to carry him all the time… Even if my husband tried to tale my “load” off, he wanted none of it… Loves his dad now: he is way cooler than me now!
Whomever has the pleasure of having their childs attention…soak it up. My 12-yr old used to be such a “mommas boy” and now I am totally chopped liver. He wants nothing to do with me and is ALL ABOUT is father. He could care less if he is with his dad and doesn’t see or talk to me for days, but after he comes home and is there for 20 minutes, he’s on the phone or texting his dad.
My 17 month old is in the mommy stage and as much as I would love to be able to get things done without him hanging on my hip or leg, I am totally trying to enjoy the fact that I am his entire world. But it does crush his daddy when he doesn’t want anything to do with him…but I know exactly how he feels.
Whoa. Lots of competition for the Three Dads thing! 🙂
We’re in the No, Mama! stage with our youngest, but since she’s the youngest I’m TRYING to enjoy it. Other than that, she forgets she’s supposed to be the baby of the family. *sigh*
My husband was putting our 4 year old son to bed one night and said “I love you buddy”, our son turned to him and replied “I love Mommy.” I tried to act all sad for him but I’m pretty sure I did a lousy job of it through my tears of laughter 🙂 Hey, I earned it!!!
That got me laughing too.
Oh man that made me burst out laughing at work!! I live with my mom and I’m always trying to suggest that Nana can take care of something for my 3 year old boy but NOOO it has to be Mommy!!!
LOL!
We had a similar one, with me saying “I love you buddy” and my son saying “Today I love Mummy” another night he told me “I love you today daddy”. Apparently he could only love one of us at a time.
I’ve been reading through the comments, and it looks like about eight or ten dads are already vying for the top 3 dads position. Amber, you’ve got a lot more dad fans than you know.
My wife and I both work from home (if you include drawing a lot of cartoons of your toddler as work, anyway. If not, then I play from home), and I take the lions’ share of the caregiving. That may be why my daughter’s kind of a daddy’s girl. Also, because I feed her ice cream for breakfast and never say no the the TV. Don’t tell my wife.
Now, that’s parenting advice I can get behind!
So THAT is the secret.
ha ha ha… NOT THE MAMA! Whack!
O…M….G! We are going through this exact thing right now with my daughter. She pushes daddy away when he tries to pick her up, screams and cries her eyes out if he tries to read her a book instead of me, cries for “Mommy!” all the time, etc. Of course I love it most of the time but yeah, it gets tiring and it hurts daddy’s feelings 🙁 I keep telling him not to worry because she will be 14 one day and HATE me – “I HATE YOU, MOM! YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!”
my husband is a first time dad and we are going thru this stage. I know it does hurt his feelings a bit, he doesn’t know it’s just a stage and he takes it personally. Or does he? i am sure he is enjoying me having to do everything. I don’t mind either. i have a 16 yr old daughter as well who thinks I am an idiot, so I will take the constant and demanding affection of my 4 yr old since I know it doesn’t last – not the good or the bad. Don’t blink, but it you do, count your blessings first. xo
Another dad logging in. My 2yo is in the NO! DADDY DO IT! stage right now, so I’m familiar. Our others are 9, 7, 5, & 1, so I’ve seen it before and I’ll see it again. It can get annoying, but no big deal, this stage will go soon enough. Now, if the fits of rage from Mr. Furious (2yo) would stop, I’d be happy… Great blog, crappy pictures. Keep it up.
this is totally my house too. my husband’s almost non existent in the boys eyes. it hurts his feelings sometimes.
Right there with you! Second time around so we are all cool this time. But the first time was a little scary, actually.
Who are all these other Dads commenting?! I thought I was one of the Elite Three!
(P.S. There are actually lots of us who read this bog, we’re just scared to comment. If our ladies knew we were getting all this inside parenting info they would expect a lot more of us and no one really wants that.)
LOL. This is something my husband would say.. wait! J/k (-:
My daughter just ended ot (kind of) when our son was born. Now she shares us but is totally a daddy’s girl when he is home.
Our son is always in the momma stage lately but ever since he could stand and say Da! He askes for Daddy every morning. He will not accept mommy unless he is sick. The rest of the day, it is all me.
I enjoy that little bit of rejection and get a couple more minutes lol
How serendipitous-I just posted on FB this week wondering when I could hope for this phase to end. I think I called it endearing but exhausting. There is some comfort in knowing you’re not alone… misery loves company, or something like that. Thanks for making it funny at least.
My Crappy Baby’s papa is a stay-at-home-Dad, so this is frequently reversed..”NO! Daddy!!” Fine!
Mine wants Daddy a lot. Of course, that might be because she calls ME Daddy. Ha!
She calls my husband by his name (because that’s what I call him, duh). She called me NOTHING for the longest time – my husband got greedy and tried to teach her to call him “Daddy” but that backfired and now she thinks it’s my name!
*lol* That is funny!
That’s awesome! My little boy called his daddy by his first name for the longest time. It was so funny to hear him scold his dad. “No, Josh, no!”
My daughter usually calls me daddy, but if she’s looking for me or she’s in a different room, she’ll shout “NEAL!” just like her mom does.
Another dad logging in. Long time reader, first time poster. 🙂 I’m actually RSS subscribed to this site, Amber Dusick, and Homeschooling Voyage, even though it never gets updated and I always hope that one day it will be.
I have a 2 year old daughter, so I can relate to Crappy Papa on this one. It does hurt a little, to be honest.
Love the site, and love the crappy family.
Shhh! You keep my other identities a secret!
Agh! And you home school too? AND you’re an artist? I am totally going to spy on your other blog now! Oh, and you’re totally my doppleganger. Well, I don’t home school YET; but I will. And besides having art in common, the similarities seem to be how we interact with our children…I just see myself so much in the way you just seem to well, ENJOY your kids. Anyway, off to spy on your other blog!
Wait, wait, wait! You homeschool too? My mommy crush on you just got bigger.
Glad to see so many dads surfacing in these comments! I wonder, though, if I’m the only single guy who finds this whole blog so hilarious. Anyone else out there who is neither a mom nor a dad?? Keep it up, Amber… You do awesome work!
I am single and childless and love reading this blog.
I think there’s a lot more of us dad’s that read this blog than you realise Amber 🙂
Our 13 month old treats mum like a milk machine, everything else is DAD DAD DAD DAD. 6am, just off the boob? DAD! PLAY! Wifey enjoys the sleep in while I do the morning routine until it’s time for work.
AMAZING! Lucky wife! And you’re right, I think a lot of dads read! I know my hubby always looks forward to crappy posts as much as I do!
My daughter has been in this stage for the last eight months, and it has been made worse by the new baby. We jokingly would say to each other that daddy was “chopped liver,” which was funny until one night my husband was trying to bathe her, and she melted down, screaming I want mommy to do it, and then she pointed at her daddy with a shaking hand and accusing eyes and said, “you can’t do it, you’re chopped liver.” Poor hubby, I think he’s still recovering.
Oh no!!! Your poor husband but that is so darn funny!
Fortunately, it was just funny enough at the time to cushion the simultaneous heartbreak. But tonight she wanted to play LEGO all night long, which pretty much made up for it.
Another dad, another loyal reader!
I LOVE daddy stages. I feel like my life is fully of people/animals that are needy for my attention, and mine alone. Too many “no, mama!” stages that I love when I’m rejected for Daddy. It was great the first time I could imitate my husband and say, “She wants YOU.”
YES! It really is like a breath of fresh air.
OMG! That is exactly what we used to say when our boys went through that stage. “NOT DA MAMA!”
It’s all Daddy love with my two year old, he can barely get a thing done.
We’re in that sort of phase, as well. Last night I think my eyes just about bugged out of my head when he let Daddy not only read him a story, BUT ALSO lay him down in his bed for the night (and it didn’t result in an immediate ejection from bed and search for Mommy to come put him in bed).
My son is 14 months old and has been in Daddy Stage since 2 or 3 months. I keep wondering if he’ll ever want mommy but I try to be positive that it gives me a break on weekends when he clings to his father. I think his daddy is ready for mommy time too.
Mine is 13mos, same thing. I thought it was only me.
I’ve cried about this so many times. It’s really painful. I just tell myself he doesn’t know he is hurting my feelings. I work full-time and dad stays home two days/wk with him, but I was home everyday until my son was 6mos. So, it’s not that Daddy is new/exciting/finally home. I don’t know what it is. …it’s just painful.
I stay home with my son, and he usually prefers me, but my husband’s a teachers. So, when he’s home during the summer, my son suddenly prefers him for 3 months straight! (I prefer not to think through that when given the choice between us, Dad wins…) Anyway, I think it’s just a familiarity thing. Maybe send Dad off for a long weekend or something so you can be adored awhile, just for mommy sanity sake! I doubt Dad would complain much 😉
Hey Jessica, it will be OK. It is a very similar setup for us, with similar results. But now my two-year-old has just started evening out in her demands. It is painful, I agree – but it passes and you too will get to the stage where at 3 o’clock in the morning where the call of “I want mummy” (I’m Australian) is both annoying and heart warming.
Thanks, Lauren and Kayleen. Just checking back now to see if anyone replied to me and am glad I did.
At the end of August we had vacation time and stayed home. When we were both home everyday that seemed to help. Also, my husband and I talked and when things happened and one of us needed to “be the bad guy” or say no, if we were both there he did it so I didn’t need to be the bad guy so often. I think both of those things have helped and my son is now seeming to be pretty even and on occasion has even preferred me.
Amber: I’m so glad I found your blog. In general, it really helps me feel better about being a parent. My self-esteem skyrocketed after the Real House Tour.
So…. my three and a half year old still is in the phase. In fact, she has always been in this phase. My poor husband has hurt feelings and I am just exhausted! Please tell me there is still hope that she will grow out of it and we don’t have to pull some type of ‘Freaky Friday’ for couples thing…..
We totally entered this phase again with number two. Only now the older one wants to play along too.
Oh the Dinosaurs, thanks for reminding me! Do you remember Alf? I watched that again on You Tube after talking about it with some one and it’s just as strange as it always was.
Even with two moms, my kids do this. I win right now because I’m not the favorite. 🙂
My three year old is just starting to ease out of this phase. We have had the system down for awhile now – he gets her out of the car and then quickly slips her to me before she can complain – but the other day she totally fooled us and demanded daddy’s hand instead. I was shocked! lol
I get noo Momma too as the aunt but sometime I get lucky and get nooo Moly (Moe Lee). We figured it out when my nephew was 2-3. He thought he could only love one person at a time so that person was Momma. Me: I love you. Him: I love Momma but I hug you too. It took a while but we convinced him it was ok to like and love more than one person.
My older son is at the, “No, Daddy!” stage. Actually, it’s more like, “No, I want ANYBODY ELSE than you.” Don’t get me wrong, he tolerates me when I’m the only adult available…but Heaven forbid he has a choice. :/
Am I the only one that still regularly uses “Not the mama!” ?
nope!
This is turning out to be a loooong stage in our family. My son is seven, and he still pretty much only wants me for everything. I keep telling my husband the tables are going to turn and he’s only going to want his dad to help him, but I think the hubby is starting to lose faith that that will ever happen!
My neighbor and I were just talking about that show last week when we were both going through this with our two year olds :). We both agreed that hiding the cast iron skillets was a good idea 😉
Oh and I think I should note that the skillets are hidden….. Mainly because we make the daddies take care of the five year olds 😉
Going through that phase right now. I hope Daddy’s turn is soon again lol! I enjoy daddys turn, then I can have the evening “off” of doing bedtime routine because the kids only want him and I only want to sit down and catch up on my dvr shows after doing the dishes and cleaning for the night.
They grow out of this phase? WHEN?! My 9 year old and 4 year old are still in it. When, dear God, WHEN does it end?
Yes, I remember the Not The Mumma scenes! LOL
My son is currently going through a “not the daddy” phase… I had about 6 months of the mommy phase, so I’m pretty much okay with the “he only wants you” hand off now 😉
PS. You get so many extra awesome points for referencing Dinosaurs!
Oh my gosh. I totally forgot about that show. What a weird concept…
Kate
http://www.justdelivered.net
Loved the show “The Dinosaurs”!
Also, at least from my experience, it isn’t just daddies and mommies that get “hated” for awhile. This feeling can also be extended to grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends. Awhile back, my little guy decided that he didn’t like his aunt. He was doling out hugs to everyone and when she asked for one, he ran away from her and declared, “No! You are not special!” Luckily, she didn’t take it too seriously.
That is so my toddler without the frying pan. NOT THE MAMA! NOT THE MAMA! NOT THE MAMA!
At best my two tolerate dad, but he is not their favorite. They are all about a mommy. And it will probably change when they get older and I want to spend more time with them and they will want daddy more than mommy.
I swear (again!!!) you spy on my life to write your blog! I made my husband read this because of the crazy bedtime we just had! NO! MOMMY!!! was the mantra here…. Thanks for the empathy & laughs!
my son is 13 months and has been like this for the past 10 of them! when will it end????
Been here before except with my daughter she went through a stage of only wanting Daddy and not Mummy. Now I have a son lol
So, I’m a little late to the party today, but I’m a dad who religiously reads this blog and loves it.
Have you lost your mind? Crappy Papa is behind this whole dramatic swing in affection! He bribed Crappy Baby somehow to want you to do everything. Are you in your 20’s or something?
I knew the tide of “Mama only” changed when my husband got up to use the bathroom (previously done without an entourage) and the kids, and the dog, followed him in there. And the 3 year brought along her guitar. I might have laughed gleefully (evilly?) that I was no longer the only one without a moment of privacy and Dad was now on their radar!
My son has been in this stage for almost 4 1/2 years, basically since birth. The other day I heard my husband ask him “Who’s Papa’s boy?”. To which he responded, “well, Papa, I don’t think you have one. I like you, but I’m Mommy’s baby. Maybe one of the girls will be Papa’s girl, though”. That feeling of win and loss all at the same time.
My daughter is a year old and was born in this “stage”. She has yet to leave it. Only I will do. It’s sort of sweet/annoying.
Hey been following you for awhile. I have a 4 year old boy and a 2 year old daughter. My 4 year old has his days when it’s nothing but momma but mostly he is a daddies boy. My daughter however is a wicked mommas girl I can’t get a moments peace with her. If I even leave the room it’s “no momma” (i swear the neighbors hear her it sounds like someone is murdering her I swear) It breaks my hubbies heart cause he wants his little daddies girl. When I leave to go shopping or what ever and leave her at home she screams for 20 minutes then is fine with daddy but as soon as she sees me pull in she is screaming her head off again… Crazy child.
My first two kids were in this stage til about 3 and a half. My third is 16 months, and she actually hugs me and asks ME to hold her. But then I can pass her to mama for diaper changes. It is pretty awesome.
Dad #246 checking in (I’m sure there’s that many, they’re just hiding…)
I can totally empathise with this situation! Except for us it’s “NO! Daddy!” as I’m the stay-at-home parent (Mummy earns way more than Daddy at his crappy job!)
The hardest part is at night when he screams for me, and my wife, trying to be as helpful as possible, goes in to him, but because it’s not Daddy, he screams even more 🙁 Oh, and around 5pm when the wife comes home and I’m trying to make dinner 😛
Hope it passes soon…
(P.S. Your blog is an oracle of 27 types of awesome)
Somewhere around age 13, they start to hate you again…
Have you ever noticed how sometimes something you forgot about is randomly mentioned somewhere, and suddenly you see it EVERYWHERE? So it is with me and Dinosaurs right now! Weird! We were watching Sid the Science Kid the other day and the one kid dressed up with a baby bonnet and said, “I’m the baby, Gotta love me!” That HAD to have been a nod by the writers to Dinosaurs!
My little one just turned 1 she ignores me from time to time but mostly not. She drives me crazy because she latches onto me and doesn’t want to let go. When I untwine her arms fingers and hands from me and sit her down she throws a fit. I can’t go into another room without her following me and if she goes into another room without me lo and behold she’s usually up to no good. She gets into stuff and makes horrendous messes I’m constantly cleaning up. If I leave her with a babysitter apparently she doesn’t stop screaming for a good while unless I’m only gone for a short time which means she stops screaming when she hears my voice and sees me. Most annoyingly she tries to cling to me when she sleeps and when I put her in her crib she’s fine till she realizes I’m not right there with her and screams until either I pick her up and the cuddling and lack of sleep on my end commences or she reams out my deaf baby alarm system till she falls asleep. Either way I lose out on sleep but if I don’t let her cry herself to sleep I’ll never be able to sleep with the choke hold she puts on me when I lay with her. I really hope this is just a stage especially since my three year old nephew and 5 year old niece are still going at it with my sister.
We’ve got 2 kids, the eldest is nearly 4, the youngest is nearly 2, and I don’t think either of them has had this as a phase. We’ve had occasional days of this, but rarely anything lasting longer than that. My daughter (the youngest) frequently just wants me (the Daddy) in the evenings, but then that’s probably just because I’m at work all day.
One contributing factor I’ve noticed though is that on days when a child really just wants one of us, it’s often the parent that got up and played with them in the morning…
Just watched the video clip… if Baby Sinclair voiced by Elmo???
Thanks for the link. My youngest kid is 23 months old, and I’ve been describing this show to the older kids with little success. Now they can see what their little brother would look like as a dinosaur puppet!
My eldest shunned me when my middle child was born. Six weeks of “Daddy do it!” I hated it, huge guilt… now three of them all insisting mummy do it – I look back on it as a golden era!
Yeah, this stage drives me crazy! But I have hope. One of my mommy friends tells me that when her son was about 3, he started to prefer Dad and told her, “You’re not my mommy. Daddy’s my mommy!” Ha!
My 4 year old’s frequent request to me at the end of the day (not wanting Dad clean his teeth, read a book to him or put him to bed): “Mum, can you do everything?” “I usually do” is my standard response. This motherhood job has the worst hours!
I LOVED
I can say as a papa to two kids (3.5 boy and a 2 girl) I enjoy the not having to do things except when my son says “I don’t love you daddy” or “I don’t miss you daddy”. That’s when I go to the closet and cry. Ofcourse I get them back by being really annoying. Mama doesnt appreciate that as much as I do.
I’m not sure if I am one of the three dads reading your blog, or actually number 4. But, things tend to be the other way around with my son. He tends to gravitate to me. I try to make it equal, but also secretely enjoy the difference. He is my buddy.
Sent this to my husband and got barreling laughter. Then caught him reading it again in bed. I think it made him feel like he was in good company. Thanks 🙂
My 2 year old woke up one morning while my husband was at work and said, “I don’t want Daddy to come home.”
I felt so bad! He has a great daddy and I know it hurts his feelings 🙁
I thought I was the only one who remembered that show. I loved to say “Nnnnot the mama!” to my boys when they were going through that stage and refused to let their dad help with anything. It always made them look at me with such a quizzical expression. (i.e. What’s wrong with Mommy?)
Today, I heard “Dada, more oatmeal, please!”
…then “Stop, Mama!” then “Back UP, Mama!” when I went to get him more oatmeal. Then he told me “Mama, go take a shower.” He is almost 2, and he has already turned on me. =(
He was in the Mama only phase just recently, so I think I need to reframe this into a win. =)
We are so in this stage. My favorite was when DH was watching our son while I went to a doctor’s appt. They waited in the lobby (because the child wouldn’t let me leave the house alone). He fussed and cried at DH and told him “You are going to jail! I want my Mama!!” DH said he was sure that security or the police were going to show up from the sour looks some of the old ladies were giving him. Poor Daddy.
I’ve thought about that show too because we’ve ask our son whey he gets so upset and why can’t Daddy help him and that is just what he said, “Cause you’re not Mama!”
And it’s not just a dad vs. mom thing. My son has 2 moms and has gone back and forth on who he prefers. When he was about 15 months old, he would scream and cry for me, especially in the middle of the night….which of course was *awesome* (not). And he could only say “mama” (my name is “mommy”…) so there he was screaming for me, but calling me by the other mom’s name! Come on, really?!
When I was tandeming nursing and overwhelmed with needs, my husband became the “poop man.” He changed all the diapers *yay* and did the potty training with the older toddler.
So one day, it was just me at home and I was changing my 2 yr olds diaper, and she said “NO- DADDY IS THE POOP MAN. Not you mommy. Get away.”
🙂
Our 17 month old son is going through a mommy-only stage right now. I liken him to a starfish or barnacle! He’s glued to me. Except for when he randomly runs off. My gracious husband keeps saying if he were our toddler, he’d want Mommy too, but I’m afraid it is hurting his feelings. I was afraid it was due to my son’s terror since I abandon him regularly (I work and he goes to a daycare which is essentially fun land) and in addition I do things like pee and shower when I am home…) anyway, glad to hear I am in good company, and this stage will someday end…
They will still do this at any age. But when they are MUCH OLDER, you have no guilt about saying ‘well…daddy or do it yourself!’
Oh my wooly word! I have not thought about “Dinosaurs” in years! I loved that show as a kid! And now, looking back, I am in awe at the genius of it! A sitcom! With dinosaurs! Why is this not still in production?!
On a serious note, I had the opposite problem with my eldest child (she’ll be 3 in October). She was all about Daddy, and Mummy didn’t get a look-in. She’s much better now, but will still demand that Daddy is the only one who can get her out of the car if he’s there.
“Why is this not still in production?”
They killed them off…
http://www.cracked.com/article_18490_the-7-most-soul-crushing-series-finales-in-tv-history.html
Fortunately I think the show didn’t last that long in the UK, so I was never exposed to the finale as a kid.
I actually have one of these:
http://bit.ly/TGfqWa
pull the string and Baby Sinclair says “I’m the baby; gotta love me!” and “Not the Mama!” LOL
Amber you are my hero. I thought my life was crazy and I didn’t know what I was doing. Now I realize that everything is just normal and we are all playing the same game. Now when the craziness ensues, I try to chuckle to myself that I will be able to come to your blog later on and read a funny post (complete with crappy illustrations) about exactly what just happened here. Thanks for that. Can’t wait for your book!
we never had a No, Mama! stage. we have two boys and have had two NO! Daddy! stages though. 🙂 and yes it hurts your feelings a bit, but it is nice to have the break.
Oh I did a sad sad laugh because it’s so true. All I hear when daddy takes care of him is non stop whining and sad looks my way until I go scoop him up and voila! all better lol terrible
I know this tune all too well…only I’m here and Daddy is in Afghanistan. There are times when, according to our 4 year old, I can’t do anything right and he wants Daddy… only Daddy is on the other side of the world.
My 7 month old does this already. I’m screwed.
My wife sends me links to your hilarious comics all the time. But I never have commented before. Looks like I’m about dad #20.
Can daddy wipe your butt? No, MAMA! I can totally relate.
I’m totally late to this party, but I just had to say that I frequently immitate that Dinosaurs scene, “NOT. THE. MOMMAAAAAAAAA!” and I was so excited to see it here!
Oh, and I love this blog.:)
Ummm this is absolutely and completely my life right now with my 20 month old daughter. Of course, I am in my third trimester with number 2, so that could have something to do with it. This child was a complete Daddy’s girl, you can’t imagine and has done a 360.
Holly
Well that makes me feel SO much better. My evil genius child does exactly the same thing. Occasionally it’s upsetting, like the time he refused to have his picture taken with me, but in all honesty (especially at 6am) it’s actually quite funny. I go through the motions of getting up but as soon as he says “No Mummy” I know I’ve been saved from watching utter tripe on the TV whilst half asleep and can go back to sleep for another hour..
You do know this is something ALL fathers secretly teach their child when Mummy isn’t looking 🙂
and you can make that 4 dad’s who read your blog..
It’s funny, I work from home (used to stay at home), so two of our three kids have only ever known me being around all the time, handling every little thing for much of the day. So my wife gets this kind of treatment sometimes, but not often and not quite this pronounced. For the most part, she claims to relish when they come running to me to solve some ridiculous problem at a really inconvenient time, particularly 3am nightmares…)
Of course, I do gladly hand things off to my wife whenever I can (apparently I don’t suffer much from that shift-changing problem so many mothers claim to have), so that probably balances the scale somewhat as far as having a primary/preferred parent– we’re as much of a tag team as we can manage. Maybe refusing to take over and instead sticking Crappy Baby with his dad anyway a few times when he pulls this will help fix it faster?
My toddler is in that phase right now, but when his brother was first born, he wouldn’t go near me! It made me so sad. He followed daddy around everywhere. It made this phase easier for him, I think.
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