the contents of my purse, before & after kids

This one is part of my Before & After Kids series.

Now I am not talking about a diaper bag. Comparing a pre-kid purse to a diaper bag is pointless. Like comparing a tricycle to a cruise ship.

No, I'm talking about a purse. The much more compact and stylish bag I carry when my kids aren't with me. Though in reality, I wind up carrying a diaper bag and a purse because the junk cross-pollinates. 

The contents of my purse before I had kids:

Pursebefore-after1
lipstick, wallet, phone, keys, cute little compact mirror, pack of gum

I kept it simple. I'd often transfer the contents from purse to purse to match outfits and fancy stuff like that. Like, daily.

Last week I had plans without the kids. To present the illusion that I am still fancy, I decided to switch the contents of my purse to a different one to match my outfit.

And here are the contents of my purse now, after kids: 

Pursebefore-after2

several pieces of scribbled on paper, one rock, one cloth diaper, two heart stickers that no longer stick, one infant sock, old lipstick, wallet, a much better phone, one plastic fish and one plastic ring from redeeming Skee-Ball tickets, five crayons, one smashed fruit bar, 11 pieces of cereal and a crumpled up and used wad of napkins 

Yeah.

So basically the same.

Hey, wait, where are my keys? Has anyone seen my keys?

What is in yours? Anything "extra" now?

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215 Responses to the contents of my purse, before & after kids

  1. KarasMummy says:

    Oh goodness, I relate so much that I’ve given up on it and exclusively carry a nappy bag now. With toddler twins it is just the only way I can leave the house fully packed.

  2. Doni says:

    pfffft. yeah. granola bars, kid’s tylenol, colorful hair clips, and a yo-yo. But I just cleaned out my purse a few weeks ago, so this is “light.”

  3. Jodi B says:

    used tissues. gross.

  4. Tricia says:

    Wet wipes! I always carry wet wipes. Sigh…

  5. kristen says:

    Should have read the post first then my tweet wouldn’t be as silly. I mostly just carry the diaper bag when out with the three. Oh I will be soo happy when potty training will be sucessful!

  6. Laura says:

    Smashed fruit bars will drive me over the edge! Utterly uneatable.

  7. Katie says:

    Purse? You go places without your kids?! In my fantasy land maybe ;)

  8. This made me laugh because our purse contents are pretty much identical down to the smashed fruit bar and solo sock (too small). I would add Cheerios crumbs, miscellaneous garbage, and juice box missing a straw.

  9. Jessica Smith says:

    a few bandaids, 4 cars (each boy must have two, bc heaven forbid they actually share!), baby legs, used tissues, gum wrappers, an old granola bar…

  10. A potty seat. The whole thing, because my kids have tiny butts and fall in otherwise. It’s really glamorous to have a toilet receptacle in my purse.

  11. Crumbs, lots of crumbs.

  12. Amber Dusick says:

    LOL, that is awesome, made me laugh!!!

  13. Julie says:

    I also have Hello Kitty band-aids and purell wipes, which are the best invention ever. Add to that a complete change of toddler clothes in a ziplock, several doctor visit receipts, my ipad…yes this is my good leather purse too. Sigh.

  14. Jazmin says:

    I once had a moldy smooched banana(if DS asks fir a banana you better have one, or it’s the end of the world!). Thankfully, the banana was in a baggie!

  15. Cheri Dees says:

    I found a pacifier, a washcloth, infant gas drops and a nose-sucker-thingymajigit in my purse the last time I went out. I’m still trying to figure out how they got in there since I haven’t carried a purse since before my daughter was born….

  16. Cp3k says:

    I found a half eaten soggy waffle in my purse once.

  17. Cheryl says:

    How did you accidentally wind up with my purse?! Wait, it can’t be mine, because there are no trains (specifically, no trains to mysteriously call out, “Bust my buffers!” in the middle of a quiet store).

  18. Melanie Rozwood says:

    One day I found 3 tubes of Orajel and no Blistex. Not fair.

  19. Pam says:

    I now carry an Epi-pen thanks to an allergy developed during/shortly after pregnancy. Never thought that would be a part of my daily life :(

  20. Erin says:

    Usually a “guy” of some kind, loose lego parts, suckers (for bribing kids into being good when we are out) a pacifier, and random earrings of mine that I had to quickly take out before I picked up the baby from daycare or else she will yank them painfully from my ears.

  21. Rhonda says:

    My 3 year old is FINALLY getting the hang of using a toilet, so we now have spare pants, undies, diaper, wipes, and fold-up potty seat in Mommy’s bag. In addition to everything you listed, of course. Plus lots of receipts because I always quickly toss them in as we’re leaving the store, and I expect them to magically disappear.

  22. Z says:

    I actually just cleaned out my purse because I bought a new one.
    1 wet cloth diaper rolled up & snapped shut
    2 clean cloth diapers
    5 clean cloth wipes
    6 cheap bangle bracelets belonging to my daughter
    4 crayons
    1 hair tie soaked in saliva
    Wallet
    Check book
    And a giant pile of receipts.

  23. Jennifer says:

    I’m the complete opposite!! Before kids I had all kinds of things in my purse (however, not kid related!). But now when I carry a purse I just grab 3 things from the diaper bag…my wallet, phone, and keys. Oh, and occasionally chap stick!

  24. Stephanie says:

    Crayons, Matchbox cars, Benadryl, stopwatch (doubles as a watch), Jolly Ranchers, 4 tubes of Chapstick (2 for me, 1 for each kid), Tic-Tacs, wallet, 8 bank deposit receipts (thanks for making me clean out my purse!), mini-flashlight, gum, 2 pens.

  25. Kate says:

    Exactly!! I’m wondering where they all come from, because there is never any food in there (that I see anyway).

  26. Lollipops and a first aid kit.

  27. Rebecca says:

    I usually also have a little ziplock bag of baby/wet wipes and those little bags for disposing of disposable diapers that happen to be great for bundling almost anything up to help contain mess/stink if you’re not actually at a house or shop where you can use a sink to tidy up… oh and I have at least 3 matchbox/hotwheels cars, an emergency pacifier, while out I usually have their two drink bottles as well (never my own of course), oh and some very sad looking bandaids (sticky bandages/plasters). This is after I just did a tidy up last week cos I got the crankies not being able to find something important… Yep, used to have a cute little handbag, now I have a huge one so I don’t have to take a nappy bag as well :(

  28. panne says:

    pacifiers and old sticky raisins >:(

  29. Angela says:

    Yeah, you forgot the used, tied in a bag diaper that your hubby stuffed in the bag because that way it wouldn’t get “forgotten” in the car (done that before, too). And, of course, the 4 1/2 pounds of crumbs that magically find it’s way to the bottom of the purse. I’ve learned, now, to double and triple check the bag when I get home to make sure there are no smelly diaper surprises 3 days later. :)

  30. Cressa says:

    Thomas, or one of his friends lives in your purse too?? :)

  31. Laura says:

    The 1 or 2 times I’ve been out without the baby? I stuff my wallet in my husband’s pocket because I have yet to relocate my purse since her birth.

  32. Tasha says:

    Awesome, as always. New stuff- an extra inch of thickness on my wallet from 5 kids times insurance/ ssn/ cards, bandaids, and community lip balm, even though “Santa” always stuffs a new lip balm in each child’s Christmas stocking.
    In regards to the smashed fruit bar, here’s a great trick. Use a hard-sided eyeglass case as a storage container for an individual fruit bar.

  33. Beverly says:

    A pacifier. Wipes. Diaper and pullup. Lol

  34. E.B. says:

    Ive got, lets see: 43 1/2 goldfish-like organic cheese bunnies (soggy) A coupon for 45 cents off Roid cream. (Damn, was looking for that.) The Remote Control for a TV (Huh?) Used napkins from those samples they hand out in the grocery (Score! Ones got 1/2 a cookie still in it.) my wallet, The Contents of my wallet (not together, of course, thanks kid) A hospital ID band from the latest 3am kid trip, and some lip gloss from approx. 1994.

  35. Crappy Commenter says:

    Goldfish crackers and Goldfish cracker dust

  36. Kristen says:

    That made me laugh out loud! I can totally imagine you pulling a potty seat out of your bag…kinda like Mary Poppins!

  37. Deanna says:

    Really old coupons and cough drops, receipts with the ink faded completely, a map of the zoo and usually, no wallet. This has saved me a lot of money. Unfortunately my purse is of no use to me without the diaper bag now.

  38. Kelli says:

    I dont leave home without wet naps of some sort. I have graduated into carrying the little packs you get from take away. I also have drawings. Always given to me to cherish after every visit to a restaurant.

  39. Before I had kids I was in the military, so carrying a purse just wasn’t something I really did. Now, I have, a huge wallet, 4 or 5 chapsticks (my kids refuse to share and I’m not fond of snotty chapstick) rocks (my 4 year old’s best friends) band aids, tissue (used and new), wet wipes, cars, hair ties, my cell phone, receipts, crumbs, and my keys NEVER go in there, because there’s nothing worse than trying to find them at the bottom of a heavy purse, and them coming out with some unidentified goop on them!

  40. sarah vine says:

    Usually I pride myself on keeping it light, so I often end up without a change of clothes or that extra diaper…. I have been known to stuff paper towels down my baby’s outfit on the way home and hope no one notices! *sad*. But I will NOT leave the house without some rice cakes or bottle of water! God save me from hungry children in the car.

  41. emma morgan says:

    Oh yeah, a bag of smooshy cherry tomatoes, a leathery Orange, some rocks, several straws tied with yarn, and a mind boggling amount of matchbox cars.

  42. AngieB says:

    My purses have gone from cute, expensive handbags that only held the bare essentials and I never head enough room; to the now mammoth cheap almost-a-diaper-bag that contains one diaper for each child, and extra pair of shorts for each child, children’s medication, my medication, misc. toys, and all the other stuff you had listed and I still never have enough room. I know it sounds like a diaper bag but trust me, the diaper bag is worse!

  43. Amber Dusick says:

    Ha, that is a good trick, especially since my sunglasses often go missing but I usually have the empty case in my purse!

  44. lexa brinton says:

    found a sippy cup with no lid and leaking instant juice mix packet, a smushed granola bar, an empty gum container, 2 broken crayons, an old cell phone (used as a decoy)and misc meds…meh. its all still good, probably.

  45. Lauren says:

    Too funny! Here’s mine:
    Dried up wet wipes, bottle of aspirin or ibuprofen, unidentifiable crumbs, old receipts, miscellaneous forgotten notes to myself. You know…the essentials. :)

  46. Tiffany Folkner says:

    Funny thing my kids are preteens now and my purse seem as big as my diaper bag was. What happen to my cute little purse?

  47. Stacy K. says:

    Took my answer! I have orange dust all over the bottom of my purse.

  48. SarahP says:

    Purse? We can carry purses? I thought we could only have nappy bags :( I miss my fancy purse :(

  49. Purse is now a LeSportsac-style (waterproof) crossbody (won’t fall off shoulder when wrestling squirmy child) with 4 separate zippable compartments, 2 of which are child dedicated. 1 has an extra diaper and mini-pack of flushable wipes. 1 has little plastic cups of goldfish and teddy grahams, spongebob band-aids, spray neosporin, a sunblock stick, and miscellaneous coupons. 1 is just for phone and headset.

    The 1 I actually use as my purse has 3 different Chapsticks, many keys, a bottle opener key chain with no keys on it, generic Advil and Exedrin for mommy, bunches of crumpled receipts, a neon-green puffball, a cat-toy mouse that child loves, an unopened shrink-wrapped pair of crayons from the Olive Garden, card wallet, change purse, and checkbook stuffed with bills waiting to be paid.

  50. That is awesome!!!! You have certainly got everyone else beat with purse contents!!! I have triplet girls and there is absolutely nothing that I can find in my purse that has that much funny factor to it. LOVE IT!

  51. Kara says:

    I have toddler twins as well and I use a backpack as a diaperbag/purse and have since they were born. Between diapers and snacks and toys and drinks its the only thing big enough to carry all their stuff.

  52. zoe d. says:

    Went out to dinner with girlfriends (sans kids) the other night. Went digging for my wallet and found a neatly wrapped used diaper in my purse. Pretty sure it’d been there for a few days and I hadn’t noticed.

  53. Suzie says:

    The unidentifiable crumbs are disturbing. Especially when one can’t remember ever having anything that would produce them in the bag/purse.
    I find random cars, Barbie shoes, beads, small toys I can’t for the life of me remember the kids ever having, and shattered plastic easter eggs.

  54. Kim says:

    my purse was exactly the same as your after kids purse! I recently got a wristlet for taking the kids to the park. It only fits my phone, some cash and my debit card. I love the simplicity of it so much, I use it all the time now. No more binkies, or smashed cereal bars…there’s no room & I love it!!!

  55. RyAnne says:

    A Lego wheel, and a mangled fork that was fished out of the garbage disposal.

  56. ALWAYS extra things in my purse these days. Various Matchbox cars, sand, a sock, and, today, I had a beat-up apple in my purse (because my son had to bring it EVERYWHERE with him today). That’s in addition to the wallet, the phone, the keys, the Nook, etc.

  57. Kerri says:

    That’s the same as me. My purse pre-kids was actually dubbed the mommy purse because I always had everything anyone needed in it. Now, if I have my purse, it is just my wallet, phone, and keys.

  58. Nicole says:

    “Cute little compact mirror” … whoops, I guess my mind was in the gutter. Coulda sworn it was a condom!

  59. Rainyday says:

    Right now there’s a fist full of grocery store receipts and bank slips, some crumpled up brochures from our recent farm visit, bandaids, a bag of cashews, granola bar, an apple, a calculator, 6 crayons, bug spray, benadryl stick for when I forget the bug spray, forehead thermometer, eye shadow. And this is a small purse. Usually I stuff a paperback in there, too. And I wonder why my shoulder is permanently bruised.

  60. RuthS says:

    Hand sanitizer and sample tubes of half used sunscreen…yes both items have opened up in my purse after the caps were loosened by my 3 year old wanting “san-tizer” and quickly shoving it back in before I noticed.

  61. Erika says:

    Suckers – as a reward/bribe for good behavior.

  62. Megan says:

    Just checked my purse…I have a zipper pouch that carries tampons, bug bite itch cream, a thermometer, infant tylenol, and a compact that bounces around from bag to bag…other than that you can add in a wallet, mini bottle of bubbles, 4 packs of pez, a Rio happy meal toy, Cars Dinaco helicopter, hair spiking gel (for the boy), lots of lids without matching containers, hard candy with no wrappers, and lots and lots of loose change. And crumbs.

  63. K says:

    So many receipts! And letters from school about various important functions, which generally only emerge after said function has occurred. I found a loose licorice comfit earlier which was odd. Crumbs, again odd because there’s never crumbly stuff in there. Wet wipes, band aids, antiseptic cream, sun lotion, hand sanitising gel, moisturiser… often a toy car or three. I didn’t even carry a bag of any kind before having kids, and now my bag is enormous. Sigh.

  64. Mel says:

    Cereal bars, a bottle of water, my wallet, keys, a nasal spray (I have allergies), 1 clean Pampers diaper (but I always forget wipes!), a toddler hat.

    E.B.:
    I found BOTH our TV remotes in my work bagpack while at the office last week – after I had been looking for them all weekend!

  65. AJ says:

    YES! Juice box missing the straw. Guaranteed to cause wailing.

    I’ve got too many lip glosses because I have a lip gloss problem. Including one clear natural one for the girls when they start in with “my lips are DWY!” HINT HINT Mama.

  66. Savi Mama says:

    I thought I was the only one! My kids are potty trained now, but that seat was a constant companion for about 4 years. I kept it in a grocery sack because it could get kind of icky. …like that time we went camping…

  67. Savi Mama says:

    Same here. If we ever get stranded in a blizzard, we’ll be set for at least 3 weeks with all the goldfish dust in my purse and the car seats.

  68. Brooke says:

    I have a REALLY big Coach purse, and everyone made fun of how giant it was, and how it mind as well we diaper bag when I bought…. I knew it would come in hands!! We always end up with smashed Z-Bars and then no one wants to eat them.

    Random mismatched socks.

    Fake phone (after one too many insurance replacements on my Android phones… a fake one for my toddler seemed like a better idea).

    1-2 Cloth diapers (unstuffed and the inserts floating in the purse somewhere too).

    Wet bag.

    Usually I always forget cloth wipes AND regular wipes (lose/lose if she needs changing- at that point we haul it back to the SUV for changing.

    Keys- with several different keychains on them my dear brother has brought them back to my children from his travels (they have no keys… so they assume the key chains from him visiting places like New Mexico deserve a home with my keys)

    At least 1-2 Little People toys

    This book about not wearing a diaper (which, has yet to help the potty training process)

    Coupons (that never get used because in the middle of my toddler screaming “Go? GO!” at the check stand I forget I was trying to be thrifty)

  69. Brooke says:

    wow. Excuse my serious lack of proof reading before submitting that btw. I’m not sure why I even try using the internet when my kids are awake & I’m not focused. :/

  70. Julie says:

    Purell wipes are the best. They don’t leak, they’re individually wrapped, and you find them at the office supply store.

  71. Kerri says:

    My purse before kids and a husband: no purse just drivers license/cash/phone/keys (*totally never grabbed the epipen)

    My purse after marriage: Some little bag that fit a wallet (made necessary by the addition of ATM cards/credit cards/grocery cards, etc), phone, keys,epipen (I had a bag so it fit), chapstick, gum and advil (last 3 things always requested by my husband when we went out)

    My purse after kids: No purse just everything in a diaper bag.

    My purse now that my kids are potty trained and don’t need sippys: iPod, cell phone, keys, wallet, chapsticks (4-one for each family memeber), epipen, hairbrush/scrunchie, gum, lollipops/fruit snacks, advil (no longer just for the hubby, often times for the headache from the kids)

  72. Claire says:

    You guys have wallets? I’m so jealous! My cards just sort of free-float in among all the scribbled bits of paper. I also keep a notepad and two crayons in my purse… note that these crayons are different colours, because I’m daring like that when dealing with two small children. Also there may be half a packet of some form of child-friendly candy in there, and it’s probably half-melted. My purse is crocheted and I never found time to put a liner in it, so it’s like a big sieve, and all the crumbs fall out.

  73. Gabrielle says:

    Fold up potty seat: $10 at Wal-Mart. It pretty much rocks.

  74. Jenny says:

    At least you realized it was Orajel before trying to apply it to chapped lips!

  75. rachel says:

    yes! always bandaids. and almost always cars. occasionally a few random polly pocket accessories as well. oh, and the confiscated bouncy balls. who invented those things! they are the worst toy EVER. they’re only good to play with in the house. if you play with them outside, they get dirty and lost in like 5 seconds flat. but no parent in their right mind will let a kid play with them IN the house because they will break or knock over everything in a 2 mile radius in about half a second flat!

  76. Megan says:

    I was going to say “sand,” too! You’d think we went to the beach every day–I wish!

  77. Gabrielle says:

    Little People live in my diaper bag. It kinda confuses people when my daughter asks me to get Chris and Chloe out of the diaper bag.

    As for purses, it’s rare that I go anywhere without a kiddo, yet I still end up with the diaper bag half the time. Today, I somehow managed to leave the house with three diaper bags. Trouble is, I only have two kids…

  78. I have one waiting, for when child actually learns to use the potty :-(.

  79. rachel says:

    i have the singing caboose that mysteriously plays at inopportune times as well.

  80. Laurel says:

    I’ve got your juice box straw in my purse. I was wondering where the juice had gone off to…

  81. Melissa says:

    I found an old mozzarella cheese stick in my old purse =/

    And the receipts that have been savagely yanked out of my wallet while we’re out… so I stuffed them quickly in my purse.

  82. chelsea says:

    Eyeglass cases are the best! Also good for toting around various feminine products, and for syringes if you’re diabetic!

  83. *Wheezing with laughter* that just made my day!

  84. Stephanie says:

    Smashed fruit bars ARE entirely uneatable!

  85. Rebekah says:

    At least, you are carrying a purse. My daughter is 4 years old, and I still can’t break myself of the diaper backpack, and she doesn’t wear diapers anymore.

  86. shelly says:

    kiddo decided to save a juice box for later. Didn’t tell me. CSI could probably find remnants of apple juice several washings later. Sigh.

  87. Krista says:

    I just cleaned my purse out. It was awful. I have a 2.5 yr old daughter and I’m pulling spider man pencils and you name it out of my purse

  88. Am says:

    Chewed Trident gum, wrapped in its original wrappper, which shrinks after removing the unchewed gum. They need trashcans in church for the dropped Cheerios, goldfish and chewed gum.

  89. Sue in NC says:

    My husband calls my handbag “Mommy’s Toolbox” (cause it is just as heavy as his toolbox in the garage!)

    -Diaper sz 3
    -Diaper sz 5
    -Ziplockbag w/ wipes
    -3 chapsticks (just in case 2 get lost!)
    -Sunglasses for me + 2 kids
    -handsanitizer
    -Checkbook
    -Wallet
    -Housekeys + Carkeys
    -Extra underwear for 3 yr old
    -Extra shirt for 3 yr old (although I should have an extra shirt for ME seeing I am always the one being spit up on!)
    -2 Bibs
    -Pair of baby socks
    -Wad of Kleenex (some clean, some not!)
    -Gum
    -Bottle of water
    -Pack of gummies
    -Vaccination cards for both kids
    -Envelope of coupons

    ……And probably more junk that is way on the bottom of the biggest leather bag ever (Thanks Cynthia Rowley for making HUGE leather bags!)
    I refuse to carry a diaper bag. If I need more junk I just pile it on top….like extra bottles + formula, changingpad, etc. LOVELY!

  90. Christy says:

    I’ll tell you what I WISH were in my purse, but never seem to make it there: kleenex (when will I learn), tweezers (the natural lighting viewed from a driver’s seat sun visor is very revealing, any cash at all (thank goodness McDonalds accepts credit cards.)
    What I never imagined would be in my purse: three health insurance cards, because two didn’t have enough room to fit all of the kids’ names on them.

  91. Lara says:

    I always find old grocery lists, a pen, a few hair clips, wet wipes, breast pads, cars and plastic keys, a paperback, wallet, smooshed granola bar, lipstick and chapstick, gum, bottle of water, ummm…. Loose change and real keys.
    I normally throw my wallet in the diaper bag and take it.

  92. Sarah says:

    Its always great unpacking my purse. All the stuff that comes out… I feel a little like Mary Poppins. Only less organized.

  93. Caitlin says:

    I pretty much use my 2 year olds mini backpack… Usually, in addition to my phone, keys, shades and wallet there is kids sunscreen, mini bubble wand and bubbles, water bottle, haba catapillar, 7 temporary tattoos (rainbows), golden beads and a play silk. It reminds me of when I used to go to raves.

  94. Island Mum says:

    An umbrella (hey it’s winter downunder ok?), a child’s toque, two pairs of gloves, quite a few homemade rusks in various states of decay, and so much other crap it’s not funny…

  95. Kate says:

    I always bring at least four toys and plenty of receipts which can be chewed, read, balled up and thrown, free endless entertainment! And I have to put my keys in the side pocket because if I just drop them in it can take up to ten minutes of removing items to find them- pretty embarrassing in shop carpark..

  96. Krista White says:

    I pulled a full size wooden spoon out of my purse just yesterday and said how the heck did THAT get in there? :-) At least now I know I”m not alone!

  97. A melted crayon, broken child size sunglasses (one lens), chicken mcnuggets, crumbs, nail clippers, double a battery, a cord to something, a nasty toothbrush, used napkins, a hot sauce packet….. NO WALLET.
    `

  98. Emma says:

    I’ll add a toy car to mine… and sometimes the odd 2yr old’s shoe…

    I have to say though, wet ones are a huge saving grace for me… I have my single girlfriends spilling stuff while we are out (you know, that once in 6 weeks I actually attempt to GO out) and it’s nice to be able to supply them with wet ones.

  99. liane campanella says:

    your caboose sings?

  100. Kathy Hyle says:

    I found a piece of pizza in my purse the other day….reminds me I need to go see if it’s still on the seat of the car as I was cleaning out my purse while waiting on something (I forget where I was now)and just threw the “extra” stuff on the car seat.

    Oh, how I miss the days of cute purses that didn’t resemble luggage for a world tour.

  101. Sharee says:

    I had one of those toys in my bag… Drove me CRAZY because it would constantly go off… all.the.time…. It got taken out… :)

  102. In my purse…let’s see. Pre-baby days: usually makeup, hair elastics, lip gloss, phone, keys and wallet. Now, I have my coupon folder, a mini-umbrella, travel pack of wet wipes, 1 pull-up, my poor overstuffed wallet, my PSP (yes I’m a dork…I know this), my Ipod, my phone, a pen, a mechanical pencil, keys, a letter from my friend in FL, hematite and rose petals from my friend in OR, a sanitary napkin, and about 50 lbs of crumbs…now if I could just figure out a way to get chocolate and chef boyardee off the outside of it and just where the hell the crumbs came from, it’d all be okay! LOL!

  103. Nicole Heath says:

    Oh so very true. I use to swap contents out as well and now I find that when I actually do take my stylish purse with me, the actual items I need are still left behind in the diaper bag and I’m stuck with some mints, tweezers, and an ink pen. No wallet. No phone. No keys.

  104. amy says:

    LMAO! And you should add that your pre-kids purse was tiny and cute and could fit easily under your arm, and now your purse is huge-gantic and still isn’t big enough.

  105. Cynthia says:

    YES, on the receipts. And my husband always wants them later (not because he’s psycho, but because he good about reconciling the account. So I tell him they’re in my purse, and I’m always worried he’ll never come out again.

  106. sara says:

    I’ve given up on an actual purse. But I’ve been known to pull a finger puppet, hotwheels car, and dog poop bag out of my jacket pocket…

  107. Kara says:

    So funny! I’ve personally, become fond of the gum. Before kids, the gum was stored neatly in its pretty container (because I’m a marketing whore like that).

    Now, items have shifted during the “flight”. The gum is out of the packaging and wrappers, holding on to any other contents within for dear life. Pens. Used kleenex. Loose change. Paper clips. Rubber bands. So while everything inside has fresh breath, it’s all very sticky and so disgusting.

  108. Deb says:

    Ahhhhaha. Every vehicle, construction equipment, etc is identified by its Thomas the train name or Cars name. In other words everthing is a: “Mater”, Cranky, Sheriff, Alfie, etc.

  109. Kristen says:

    All of the above plus a Star Wars character’s arm that needs to be Super-glued, an empty bottle of super glue, an empty pack of gum, two French fries, a straw wrapper, dried up baby wipes in a plastic bag that was left open.

  110. Brittany Standen says:

    I refused to give up my handbag. It was the one thing that reminded me I was someone, not just a mother.
    My 23 month old has his own bag – which only comes out with us on long drives/long outings. :-)

  111. Kristen says:

    I found a farting pickle in my purse that also made I appropriate comments in quiet places…and I work in a library! I have no clue which character in my house has acquired a farting pickle, much less why I have it. Plus, it looks a little bit porn-ish…kind of like a moldy vibrator.

  112. monkeymama says:

    Sophie the giraffe!

  113. monkeymama says:

    oh and a leaky sippy cup!

  114. Amelia says:

    I’m so confused…are you me?

  115. Jessica says:

    A lot of the above, plus some squashed raisins at the bottom.

  116. Katrina says:

    My purse was never neat to begin with before I had kids, and I always used to win those horrible “weird stuff in your purse” games at parties. That said, the other day I stuck my hand in my purse looking for my keys and instead found the ring of baby’s plastic keys.

  117. cjm88 says:

    LOVE IT! Your posts keep me smiling and reminding me that motherhood is hard for everyone – and always comical….

  118. Chrissie says:

    Cloth diapers, awesome! What brand? You could write a great post on those. I love it when I misjudge the strength of the diaper sprayer and spray poop all over the bathroom wall. That would be a seriously crappy picture. Pun intended.

  119. Lisa says:

    Before kids, I always felt like my purse was just a diaper bag for my husband. “Honey, can you clean my glasses?” “Honey, do you have the paper with the directions?” “Honey, do you have a tissue?” “…a stain stick?” “…a nail clipper?” whatever it was he needed I had it, which only reinforced him. But it was good practice for packing a diaper bag.

  120. I fell so deeply in love with my diaper bag, which was a freebie from some formula company, that I am in the process of having a red leather purse made in the same design. That diaper bag has cupholders! TWO! One for a sippy cup, and one for iced coffee. They are on the outside, where no leakage to the inside can occur.. thereby saving from soaking my collection of faded receipts, stale cheerios, sticky cell phone, germ laden chapstick, too small diaper, used-but-not-with-poop wet naps and the overdue library book I’ve barely started.

  121. I think she’s all of us…

  122. Ruby says:

    LMAO!!!!

  123. Ruby says:

    yeah, it`s like a treat to only carry a couple of things instead of everything plus the kitchen sink! :)

  124. Wendy says:

    Crayons! Why oh why can’t I ever reach in my purse for a pen and actually find a pen?

  125. Mombazen says:

    Sat is my bday and i told my hubby i want to buy a nice new purse now that my last child has turned 1. And of course as i am browsing i am thinking about which one has enough room for my wallet, phone, lipgloss, sippy cup, diaper, small pack o baby wipes, a whole bag of goldfish, and of course the banana that never gets eaten!

  126. Tonya says:

    Oh, my gosh, I had almost forgotten the days of an organized purse and changing purses to match outfits. There’s no telling what’s in my purse (or pockets) these days. When my daughter was just a few months old, I had to meet a client at court, and when I emptied the pocket of my jacket to go through the metal detector, I pulled out a pacifier (because I had them tucked everywhere since you never wanted to be caught without one when she was little!) I must say I think that diminished my classy professional look just a bit, LOL

  127. gina says:

    Bandaids, tiny boxes of raisins, a toy tractor, toddler panties, sunscreen, deodorant (for me…I get sidetracked and forget before leaving the house), “flowers” (weeds), temporary tattoos, and Fisher Price Little People.

  128. sarah says:

    I keep the juice box straw in my purse. If the kids are lucky enough to have some at home, snip the top and into a cup with water, then wrapped straw into the purse for those places that don’t provide kid cups or straws…

  129. Julie says:

    Graham cracker dust. I don’t use purses much anymore.. but when I do, its usually a purse I can throw into the washing machine. All bags must be able to be laundered, because I keep thinking a dirty graham cracker dropped on a floor by no trash can can survive in the bag until I get home.

  130. Misty says:

    LMBO!!! I thought it was birth control!!

  131. Misty says:

    I have managed to lose the vaccination cards for all three of mine- and the youngest isn’t three months yet. O.o (Luckily, in Oregon they keep a state record of vaccinations.)

  132. Melissa says:

    I’m in graduate school and decided that I wanted to feel more professional and sophisticated one day and carry my purse and a notebook to class instead of my usual backpack. Just grabbed it and my wallet without checking the contents. Bad idea. I try to find a pen to take notes and a toy car leaps out of my purse and onto the floor. And all I could find to write with was a crayon. And not even a sharp one. So much for sophistication.

  133. Emma says:

    Every purse needs a rock – I have a few

  134. Jess says:

    My daughter totes around a more stylish bag than me. I travel like we are going camping. My daughter always finds a way to destroy at least one outfit through out the day.

  135. ems says:

    rocks, dirt, wallet, eight packs of koolaid and a container of cream of tartar (playdough plans), 3 potatoes and my keys. holy shit, things are getting weird in my life. But we have a good time all the live long day. :)

  136. Laura in TN says:

    My purse was bad enough when I was single and childless, usually carrying my party supplies (outfit for going out after work, mini bottles, extra makeup). Then I had children and the bag of endless fun turned into the bag of endless toddler hand-offs and items thrown in while distracted. I have old insurance cards, sunglasses, keys, a tree’s worth of receipts, gum, small notepad and pens for distracting toddler in the store, feminine products, tylenol and ibuprofen, shout wipes, brush and tiny hair things, wisp toothbrushes, smushed rice crispy treat bar, floss (used and new), dry diaper wipe with booger attached, lip smackers, play doh, mylecon, sippy from a week ago, teething ring, eight french fries and a ranch dipping sauce. Terrible, I know. You have no idea how huge my purse is :D

  137. cristie says:

    Those tiny balls are always bad news and always get in the way! Vaccuming, tripping, lodged somewhere unsafe, dog choking on it!! Never good :(

  138. cristie says:

    WTH! It had to of been the kids! Maybe she was just in a hurry and could’nt find the garbage? That’s one my daughter would come up with. Very “matter of fact” though ;)

  139. cristie says:

    OMG! Totally peed my pants with that one!

  140. Kate Epstein says:

    The other day I had my first 2 hours out of the house by myself in about 4 months. It took me about an hour and a half to realise I was carrying around a hefty bag filled with diapers, wipes, bibs, sippy cups etc that I could have left at home……..
    Now, how do you spell “defeated”?!

  141. Maureen says:

    I had to totally give up on the concept of purse, I was constantly showing up at the grocery store with my purse, and my wallet home in the diaper bag. I have a wrislet – keys attached to wallet, and just big enough for my cell phone – who has time for lip gloss anyway?

  142. I laugh and I don’t even have kids yet! I taught for 4 years + and still oversee Pre-K / K nutrition education – but I still laugh at all your posts. They are hilarious! I used to come home with stickers, cereal and other novelties in my work bag all the time!

  143. KC says:

    I just cleaned out my purse yesterday (note I just had my second daughter a week ago) and found I had a infant cap, a blue nasal aspirator and bag of smashed up graham crackers in my purse.

  144. Laura says:

    The sad thing is I don’t have kids yet and the contents of my purse more closely resemble your second example… what does that say about me? :-\

  145. Meredith says:

    In addition to the usual (wallet, keys, Carmex) I also have a baby sock that doesn’t fit either of our children, a school of free-floating goldfish crackers, a chunk of something hard that I don’t think could be found in nature, a rock, sand, sunblock, plenty of crumbled receipts, a plastic princess dressup earring, pens (that I can never find when I actually need them), and more sand.

  146. Julie says:

    A used, dried-up wipe… probably with some sort of facial/nasal goo on it… ew.

  147. Amber Dusick says:

    I have a love/hate relationship with the diaper sprayer. There IS no low strength that actually works on peanut butter style poop and I always wind up with poop juice all over my feet.

  148. Amber Dusick says:

    Having a duplicate made in leather sounds pretty dreamy! What a great idea.

  149. Amber Dusick says:

    Ugh, I’ve done that “left wallet at home in the other bag” thing. And it was when I was completely out of gas…

  150. Amber Dusick says:

    I think it says you are probably a fun person to be around. Especially if you are carrying crayons. :)

  151. Amber Dusick says:

    MUST find a farting pickle. I seriously need one of those.

  152. Heather Garcia says:

    Oh my goodness all of these comments made me laugh because I can relate. I thought I was the only one that carried the fold up toilet seat in my purse,(in a see through ziploc baggy). I have reached into my purse while driving feeling for my chap stick and pulled out a lone crayon, (they feel so similar). I do not keep food in my puse but have found baggies of cheezit’s and marshmallows in there. Leaves, why my 4 year old insists on keeping leaves is beyond me. And score there is usually an unopened happy meal toy in there, I use that as a bribe. I have also found my daughters sunglasses in there.

  153. foxes_garden says:

    I’ve got a pack of starbursts that I’m slowly doling out to my 4-year-old. One of her hair ties. A pair of the 1.5-year-old’s socks, since she didn’t want to wear them anymore. I have several tubes of lip gloss or chapstick. The mint chapstick has been entirely dug out by a tiny finger. (And probably eaten.)

    And this is after I’ve worked hard to get my purse cleaned out after our last trip. More typically I’d have both the girls’ passports, several balled up scraps of paper or food wrappers, and a size 4T sweater.

  154. Belinda says:

    I usually find several My Little Ponies, a whole lot of rocks, shells, and leaves, and various other items of “interest” that absolutely “must” come home with us in amongst the useful stuff like wet wipes, hand sanitiser, etc. When I go out without the kids I just need 3 things, phone, wallet, keys but it feels too weird so I end up putting stuff back in my bag just to make it feel right!

  155. Jennifer says:

    Awesome. Just discovered you via Hooked On Houses. Love this blog. Must have more!

  156. Nikki says:

    I can’t even remember what I had in my purse before kids. Now, my purse seems to be the place where everyone wants to store their things whenever we go places. My purse is usually home to a gameboy,toy cars, some cheap toy my son got out of the gumball machine…Oh and I once even found a kazoo in my purse. What the heck?

  157. Natalia Olvera says:

    I love the idea of a Mary Popin’s Bag ¿DO YOU KNOW WHERE CAN I WET ONE? :D

  158. kat says:

    Main part – Tissues – used and new, kids panadol, giant purse heavily weighted with loose change, small hairbrush, dummy on a colourful wooden beaded strap (which has not been used for over 6 months!), biccie pegs (teething rusks), small jar of baby food and assorted tiny plastic spoons, makeup bag (ha!), sunglasses – mine and daughters, notebook, lip balm, wet wipes, 2 lollipops (for bribery purposes), crayons in a crayon roll (for emergency colouring), purple headband with a bow, small container of hairclips, mini biro, one packet of sugar (?), healthcare receipts to take back.
    Inner pocket (once reserved for sexier items like lipgloss) 2 biros, lipbalm, Chamomilla homeopathic pillules (for feral child moments), compact and dentists receipt.
    And then there is the nappy bag…

  159. christina says:

    Neosporin, band aids (must be Dora!), wallet, receipts, lollipops for bribery, sippy cups (yes plural I i only have one child), sanitizing wipes, potty seat, extra underwear, a pair of my own socks.

  160. I’d like to add unknown items. Those things that you pull out and don’t really want to figure out what they were, you just throw them away due to sticky, blackness.

  161. Mandy says:

    Hahaha! Cheryl, you made me laugh out loud! :-D

    I can totally relate to the rock in the purse, my son loves ‘em and likes to bring them to me. For some reason, instead of putting them down, I put them in my purse.

  162. Natt says:

    I called my partner from work in a panic last week- “I can’t find my wallet! Can you please look on the kitchen table? In the bedroom? If it’s not there, can you please call the cafe for me in case I left it on the counter when I was getting my coffee?…”

    It was in the nappy bag.

    Which probably explains how a leaking sippy cup ended up in my work handbag.

  163. Rebecca Raguso says:

    I’ve added a big bottle of Excedrin.

  164. Janae says:

    As I was reading this my cat was trying to climb in my purse which was inexplicable until I realized I had a box in there with three leftover chick-fil-a nuggets. One pocket is also sticky from brilliantly trying to balance my lemonade while holding my two-2 yr old hands and trying to hold onto their balloons. I’m too tired to tally up what other horrors are in there.

  165. melissa says:

    bandaids, neo to go, tissues, wet ones, extra pens for ‘I NEED TO WRITE MOMMY!’ and chapstick – for me and a separate one for them.

  166. Mine isn’t in too bad of shape as I recently cleaned it out for a date night :) Though you made me look and it reminded me to take the video camera out.

    I love your rock :)

  167. Laura says:

    Oh, my…tears…can totally identify, though my kids are past the toddler stage, and I am a full-time student, so my bags often contain studenty things instead of the Thomas trains, snacks, Polly Pocket pieces, and various pieces of clothing that used to be par for the course.

  168. Kristen says:

    pretty sure you and I are the same person..i have one of those rings off a stacking tower, two little people, and a toy car.. a baby sock, a diaper, and a lot of gum wrappers..

  169. Jessica says:

    I always have a smashed cereal bar of some sort, and as much as it disgusts me, I usually end up eating it at some point. But I’m 38 weeks pregnant AND carting around a toddler, and don’t get me started on our budget. So yes, it’s eat the flattened cereal bar or starve.

  170. Sarah says:

    I have a tiny purse which goes to work with me each day that is suppose to be so small that I won’t collect all the random stuff and yet: two broken pens, a pencil and an eraser (cause who doesn’t need an eraser in daily life) some mismatched happy meal toys, three bracelets and a necklace (my daughter likes to help me accessorise before work) some chewy tubes and oral sensory tools for my son (autistic) some DS games, a make-up brush (but no make up) three hair ties and a clip – all my daughters, 4 sticks, two rocks and what appears to be half the shredded bark from the playground, two boarding passes from my last place trip, medication, many random outdated customer rewrds cards and vouchers and about 25 crumpled up faded receipts that were probably important, keys, purse and phone, phone charger, a USB (not mine?? ooops) and three tiny teddies. – well that will be lighter tomorrow ;-) what a great cartoon

  171. I’ve been trying to avoid having my purse get over-cluttered since my oldest was born 5 years ago. I still carry a cute, pretty little purse, but it is now filled with various confiscated candy, a handful of God-knows-how-old loose cheerios, two health record blue-books, receipts up the yin-yang (I want to kill whatever management a-hole decided that people HAVE to take their receipts!),children’s tylenol and gas drops, and a small baggie with a wet-wipe. This is all over and above my own accumulating crap!

  172. Kali says:

    I recently upsized my purse so I could fit all the new crap in there. It’s 3x the size of my cute pre-kid one. Always now there are tons of extra napkins that I swipe from restaurants/Starbucks, raisin boxes-empty & full, granola bars, a point and shoot camera because the grandparents are relentless in asking for new pics, coupons (new since being a SAHM) & a water bottle (did I mention this was a big purse?). Plus all the necessaries: keys, phone, sunglasses, wallet, chapstick & Xylitol gum. Great post & thanks for asking.

  173. Dawn Terry says:

    LMAO I so totally feel your pain. My purse aka “Mary poppins bag” has the following hidden in it’s blue plaid innards. 1-diaper, small container of wipes,keys to car I no longer have, house keys (that assume are still in here), teething ring, plastic snakes, dinosaur, McDonald happy meal cookies, duct tape? WTF? Sunglasses, boy scout book, book (that I’ve been meaning to read for the past 4 weeks and had honestly thought I’d lost it.), prescription Meds for my husband, husbands wallet, empty gum package ( my youngest son must’ve sniffed that one out and ate it), loose change, a pen in every color but black or blue, stamps, small notepad with every page scribbled on with blue or black ink( I’m seriously wondering what happened to these pens now), 1- yellow/black Nike shoe (other shoe MIA) and sandpaper. As you can see I have 2 things in here that are mine. My husband takes up more of my purse space than I do. When did I become the pack mule of the family? Lol

  174. Mama Maha says:

    Plastic wraps from those cheese strings…

  175. Heather C says:

    I have two boys four years appart that average 3.5 yrs to potty train, so if you do the math, I’ve been carrying a diaper bag for 7or8 yrs and VERY recently gave it up completly (YES!!) However, I do have Thomas the train underpants in my purse and a green train. (As well as crumbs, receipts and used assorted wrappers)Even though the youngest has been completly trained for 6 months, we all know what would happen if I took the underpants out. Case it point..last night the been-trained-for-6-months-just-turned-four-year-old-still-wears-pullup-at-night told me that he is now as big as his 8yrold brother and doesn’t need to wear a pull up anymore. Naturally I couldn’t discourage that step in the right direction so I allowed him to wear underwear and was rewarded with explosive poop at 3am. Not sure if even a pull up would have contained all that, but still…And WHY is that green train named PERCY???? Seriously. Is that like a sick joke? Don’t they know that boys can’t pronounce their “R’s” until their like 8 or 9. “Mama! I WANT PERCY” in the middle of grocery store/office waiting room/PTA/church or other quiet area sounds kinda vulger when the R isn’t enunciated.

  176. Heather C says:

    The highlight of my day is checking my email to see if a new blog is up!!! My own crap is so much more bearable when someone elses is worse. Thanks. and sorry. :)

  177. Shannon says:

    I’m sorry. I just have to thank you for making me feel normal. You have written my life down including what’s in my purse. I don’t like blogs and only read this because my friend had it on Facebook and I was bored. And now i can’t stop reading yours. Thanks

  178. Melany says:

    The fact that you use cloth makes me love you more!

  179. Onna says:

    Omg i have tears from lol and you are one of many ppl i’ve heard carry that around

  180. Mandy says:

    Lol, I took a picture of what was in my diaper bag at one time and I finally found it! I won’t list the many things that was in it, but here is the link! I love reading your stuff, it just brightens my day and makes me feel like I am not crazy. :)

    http://curlyheadedbealers.blogspot.com/2011/09/bottomless-pit.html

  181. Amanda Morgan says:

    I have that problem too with the 2 boys not sharing and they each need 2 cars. :) so I carry extra cars as well. Lol

  182. Lynn Cox says:

    I was not much of a “purse” person before kids, preferring to lash a small wallet, cell and keys to myself for maximum freedom from forgetfulness… but when my then three year old finally potty trained I decided to splurge and get a little travel bag type of purse. This now houses about 15 membership cards to various museums, gardens, etc. some expired, dried up travel pack of wet wipes, a pair of size 3-4 underwear just in case, and a tiny drugstore. Oh yes, also a wallet, when I haven’t forgotten to move it from my back pack, which took over for the summer after the third time one of the kids (or me!) needed a complete change of clothes while out on a day trip. I keep trying to downsize, but I think I might as well just pull a wagon of junk wherever I go!

  183. CJ says:

    Oh I always have the musher muesli ba, plus a spae pair of child undies an pant, lol.

  184. Tiffany says:

    Fruit snacks. Gods gift to moms in any public situation.

  185. Tanya says:

    Did you notice that you had to adjust the size of your purse? I went from a multi-pocketed, everythinghasitsplace purse to what my sister calls “angry purse”. I have an eight year old and a four year old right now so my contents are – a ton of receipts, wipes, hand sanitizer, a push pop, two pairs of girls underware (we had gone swimming a week ago at my moms and I brought them for afterward and never used them), granola bar wrappers, used kleenex, ear phones, my wallet and a bottle of purfume.

  186. Elision says:

    Hahahahaha, this is excellent. I definitely have a diaper, some cereal pieces, a little spoon, and a tiny sock in the laptop bag I take to work… O_O

  187. Elision says:

    Oh, and I have no ideas where my keys are either. Like 95% of the time. Haha. Sigh.

  188. sarah says:

    hahaha. omg i hate those smashed fruit filled cereal bars but i always end up eating them. sigh. so messy. hand sanitizer and napkins clean up that mess but then the used napkin or kleenex goes in the purse. lol.
    my purse gets mostly filled with receipts. i hate throwing them away in case of some deathly food poisoning, or if i have to throw something away, or prove my whereabouts to the police, or for taxes, or whatever. lol.

  189. Thank you!! Will totally follow that tip!

  190. This blog is totally ruining an saving my life at the same time. I read it in the middle of the night and drag my feet during the day as result. Book please!! At 1:25 am in Finland

  191. Should have read the post first then my tweet wouldn’t be as silly. I mostly just carry the diaper bag when out with the three. Oh I will be soo happy when potty training will be sucessful!

  192. Should have read the post first then my tweet wouldn’t be as silly. I mostly just carry the diaper bag when out with the three. Oh I will be soo happy when potty training will be sucessful!

  193. rlm says:

    do what you gotta do! :)

  194. michelle goree says:

    this is a little late but in my after kids purse i found the hospital baby bracelet of my second born. huh? like why did i cut it off of him and then stick it in some random purse pocket? who knows.

  195. hermes says:

    I enjoy reading your commentaries.

  196. Say except that I have enjoyed reading this is a good post.

  197. Melissa says:

    I recently found THIRTEEN baby hair bows in my purse.

  198. Alex says:

    My mum has TONS of stuff in her bag- but like every mum( if you don’t as a mum why don’t you) she never gets the to clear it out! You basically express al my mums problems in this blog- I salute you!

  199. Littlefoot says:

    Before kids:

    Cell phone, wallet, makeup, Chapstick, gum, pen, travel tooth brush and tooth paste, checkbook, keys

    After kids:

    Cell phone, wallet, chapstick, a couple diapers, mace, small folding knife, wipes, snacks, rattle, some sort of vitamin bottle (my toddler has weird toy preferences), lighter (for those times you get really cold), water bottle, pen, paper, napkins, small book, pain pills, tape (wth?), keys, blocks

  200. holly says:

    you forgot the reciepts with no ink anymore and the dry leathered orange. other then that ours are the same. do we include whats in the wallet though? mine holds wallet stuff like cards and a knife money and bandaids appt cards from last year almost, and much more. I’ve given up on mommys purse.if on rare occasion I go somewhere sans kids I grab my wallet,and keys. Leave the so called purse at home. I have doubles of everything plus some in my van!

  201. Kasi says:

    I started carrying a purse just about 6 months ago. Prior to that everything went in my pockets or the diaper bag. Then I got a new phone (these things keep getting bigger) and so I decided to get a purse so I could lug it around easier. I knew the day was coming when I would feel the need for a purse but thought it would be AFTER the diaper bag, not with it LOL.

  202. Heather says:

    I actually stopped carrying an actual purse and downgraded to a wristlet/wallet that fits my phone and money; my keys are on a carabiner. I clip keys to the wallet and either wear it on my wrist or put it in the diaper bag. One night while on a date with friends, I went to put the car keys in my coat pocket and found two non-matching socks.

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