the phenomenon of parenting and pet annoyance, illustrated with crappy pictures™

I first encountered this closet phenomenon of parenting and pet annoyance when I was 23 and had just started dating my now husband. 

We were invited to dinner by a couple we didn't know well. They were older (like, 30 or even 31 which sounds horribly old when you are 23) and they had a baby who was spending the night at Grandma's.

I was enchanted with their friendly orange cat. Our hosts, however, were not thrilled with him.

I politely looked at the baby photo. And then continued to ask questions about the cat. What his name was and how old he was and all the things I was supposed to be asking about the baby. I was 23. Babies were not on my radar and thus, very alien to me.

It became clear that our hosts were truly irritated by their cat. They admitted that they used to love him to pieces (as evidenced by the framed cat photos on the walls) but that their adoration had faded since having their daughter.

I was shocked. And appalled. The mom concluded with a dismissive "You'll understand when you have kids" and I decided that she was a cold-hearted animal hater. 

I knew I'd never, ever be like that.

Fast forward a bunch of years. We now have two cats that we pamper. We take photos with them. We buy them fancy collars, toys and treats. We sing songs about them. We are a "two cat couple" and we are proud.

I even talk about them on the phone with my mother and she asks me how they are doing.

And then I get pregnant!

But being pregnant only makes me more maternal towards my cats. I smugly think of that cold-hearted animal hating mom. I am going to be nothing like her!  

To prepare for the baby's arrival, I get one of those little bassinet things. The cat loves it. I love that he loves it. He is welcoming the baby! I even take photos of him sleeping in it. Several.

But after the baby is born I feel a little different. Just a little. And only about the bassinet.

At least at first.

Cats do not wear underwear. They should.

Somehow, this fact never bothered me until I had kids. Now it bothers me often.

This is how not to pick up, hug or otherwise touch a cat:


And yet this is how they always do it.

But it isn't the kitty's fault. Can't hold it against him.

Can't blame him for the cat puke on the floor either. Or how the toddler always finds it first.


 Or how he is right under my feet all the time.


Or that they jump up on my lap the first moment I have to myself after a full day of kids hanging off me. When I just. want. to. be. alone. 


But there is something that puts me in cold-hearted animal hater territory. Something they do that makes me fully relate to that mom I mentally berated for years.

And this is what it is…

The toddler falls asleep. Finally. I tiptoe out of the room, attempting to walk without actually touching the floor for fear of creaking floorboards. 


My exit is successful!

Until the cats realize that someone in the house is asleep which sets off their meow alarm.  

Sometimes they even go in the room the baby is asleep in.

Even worse is when both cats start tearing through the house, chasing each other and making sure the upholstery is adequately destroyed.

The upholstery destruction procedure is accompanied by the blaring meow alarm.

The good news is that they only do this when someone is about to fall asleep or just fell asleep. And sometimes all night long. And also very early in the morning.

Okay, I admit it. My cats are annoying as hell.  

To the cold-hearted mom from years back: You were right. Wanna see some baby photos? 



8/3/11 Update: Okay. Okay. I can't believe I'm doing an update over what I thought was an innocent post. No, I don't advocate abandoning cats or wishing for their deaths. Yes, there are some horrible comments below from other people saying those things. Other people, as in, not ME. I'm annoyed with my cats. End of story. I still love them and take care of them. Some of the comments make me very, very sad. 


This entry was posted in before & after kids, crappy pictures, parenting, pets. Bookmark the permalink.

603 Responses to the phenomenon of parenting and pet annoyance, illustrated with crappy pictures™

  1. Jess says:

    The best (worst) example of when they’re always under foot is when you’re hightailing it to the bathroom because your baby fell asleep on you and napped for exceptionally long but you couldn’t move lest you wake her so you have to run to get to the bathroom but the cat’s right there moving slower than a snail moving just into the places where your next steps should be. Gah!
    Thankfully we can lock our cat in the laundry room (where her food and litter are) should she meow at inopportune times like when we’re trying to sleep.

    • Veronica says:

      A cat is not a child, and it’s perfectly acceptable to put a cat in the laundry room for an hour or two while someone is taking a nap. They’re not traumatized. Sometimes they go curl up in friggin closet on a box and sleep for an hour BY THEIR OWN CHOICE! People are ridiculous. There’s a happy medium between talking about harming your pet and treating it as if it’s a human being.

      • Nicole says:

        Veronica thank God , you must be the smartest person alive i’m tired of people comparing humans and animals like they are equals.These people that think like that must be doing things to their pets I’m sorry.It’s repulsive how some people compare animals and babies as if you give birth to a pet.Even when you’re pregnant in the first trimester your pet starts to act out and become belligerent you get annoyed easily you feel big and sick you don’t feel like dealing with a pet who is just acting out of jealousy .I told my husband just today I’m not going to stress out over a dog I have worked to hard to get pregnant and I’ll be damned if i lose this child to stress over chasing a pet around i don’t give birth to puppies.

        • R. Barrows says:

          There is ONE part of this post that is true: Cats (and dogs) should not be compared to humans. They are infinitely better than we are. If they ran the world, do you think they would dump us into “shelters” (essentially concentration camps) the way humans do with them– discard us as though we were worthless? Think of those in your life whom you thought to be your friends but turned out not to be. How many legs did they have? I rest my case.

        • Nicole says:

          not understanding who the person below me is responding to,but you don’t have a case…..stop fucking animals!!!!! An animal is not better than me bitch maybe then your ugly trifling bitch ass but not me go and fucking kill yourself….you sound so fucking stupid ….you probably have sex with animals since they are so better, when you die, us two legged people will leave your dumb ass there to rote and watch the four legged animals eat your crazy ass….rest my case who do you think you talking to….did you crawl out a animals ass…you dumb whore I know what the fuck I am not animal or a pet….your probably not even a parent….animals even protect their off spring from other animals and humans….just like humans do because we don’t compare to them they even know the difference ….I’m pretty sure they’d do some of the things we do if they ruled the world it’s natural you dumb monkey bitch…I’ll tell you what since you think animals are better why don’t you stop using technology of any sort tv,car,phone,computer,please oh please traffic lights run around in the wild don’t even eat human prepared food just go out and eat leaves and shit off the trees go to the jungle I guarantee you these animals would kill you at some point then at least at the end of the day you would know you did the world a favor….now i rest my case bitch

  2. Heather says:

    LOL don’t wear underwear. My cat pisses me off so much. You are right, it is the waking up of kids who rarely sleep as it is that puts me over the edge.

  3. My husband does not fully understand it, but I loathe the cats now, too. All they add to my life with littles is more mess, more poop, more vomit, and more touching. I am waiting for them all to die.

    • Jen says:

      too bad that you have kids it is obvious you can’t handle it

      • Hans Magnus Nedreberg says:

        Too bad you have an Internet connection. It is obvious you can’t handle it.

    • Hannah says:

      Jen, why did you have to be judgy? I can’t think of a better site for jokes that go too far, and I loved it. Take your Judgy McJudgery elsewhere.

      • mmbris says:

        Umm…why are you criticizing Jen when Symbiote Host says in the last sentence “I am waiting for them to die.” Almost sounds like animal abuse so maybe direct your mommy hatred elsewhere?

        • Cat Lady forever says:

          “I am waiting for them to die.” is a much better line than “I have poisoned their food and dug their graves.” 😛

      • Jen says:

        Judgy McJudgery Bahahah so true! people always have to take a joke and make it something else (I’m a different Jen BTW!)

    • Josie says:

      I’m definatly a dog person I rescued a cat from the ASPCA cuz I made the mistake of telling my stepson we couldnt have a cat cuz our jack russel hated them otherwise we would. She got hit by a car so got him a cat. Shes cool for a cat my daughter was 3 when we got her so gd temperment. Plus she goes outside no litterbox. If cats r so damn concerned with hygeine then why is it that skanky nasty people so often have a houseful of cats pissing and shitting everywhere? Cats can be really gross and for no reason act like dicks like knock over drinks plants scratch furniture. So chill oh and not waitin for my cat or my 2 dogs to die just wanted to mention that. But all 3 do piss me off.

      • Veterinarian says:

        In regards to your comment about skanky nasty people having a household of cats shitting & pissing everwhere… Cats are one of the cleanest animals out there. If they are not using their litter boxes it is because their owners are pigs & filthy, and do not clean the litter boxes often enough and do not have enough litter boxes in the home. A cat that pees & shits outside the litter box is telling his dirty owners to clean the box… I’m sure no human enjoys shitting in a crap filled toilet bowl, well neither do cats. Rule of thumb is one litter box per cat, plus one extra. Boxes should be cleaned 2x per day. Also if a cat knocks over something they are trying to get your attention. They cannot talk, so they will do what they have to in order to get their message across. Cats are very intelligent and studies show their brain is closer to that of a human than the brain of a dog is.

      • PaintedParadox says:

        Why do people like you even get pets, then?! Why get another living creature if you’re just going to wait in anticipation to their deaths? Ever thought of adoption? Or would you rather have them dead then simply with another owner because it’s too much work?

    • Veterinarian says:

      I must say, everyday i see or read something (like this) that just further confirms the level of stupidity the human race is capable of! Unfuckinbelievable!!!!!!
      For your information, cats are the cleanest animals out there. They spend up to 50% of their time grooming themselves and studies show that their brain is closer to that of a human than the brain of a dog is. Cats are very competent and special creatures, and it is just so sad that you just do not appreciate their amazing qualities. You sound like a very miserable person that cannot appreciate anything!

    • Veterinarian says:

      Agreed! Cats are cleaner than most humans! Ignorant comments.

      • ButWhy says:

        Cats are fucking disgusting. Anything that cleaning out it’s shit box can cause an abortion is disgusting. They walk across counter spaces where food is prepared with the very paws they dig around in their shit boxes with. They cough up disgusting hairballs, put their anuses directly on furniture (that they also like to destroy by scratching) and have the foulest smelling pee and poo of any other animal. Cats are gross and most people who are obsessed with them are a little…off. I mean yhey have to be to love something that you have to literally keep a box of shit and piss in your house for.

  4. Kelli MW says:

    You nailed it as usual!!! So true, on so many levels. If I only knew about the constant meowing at inappropriate times… and the fate of my leather couch, well, we may have been a fish-only-family. Or purchased crappy furniture. Ya know, either way.

  5. Sara says:

    Butt stamp is the perfect word for their all too-accessible poop-holes! And it’s not just the cats and their constant neediness and noisiness, it’s the dogs too! Once an avid animal lover, during my pregnancy I started realizing how weird it is that we allow animals total access to our homes. The same animals the run and roll through the same grassy patches they pee and poop on get to lay on our rugs, our couches and even our beds.

    • glimmer88 says:

      You are a heartless bitch. I hope your precious baby monster poops and explosive diarrhea shits all over you constantly. Enjoy that.

    • Veterinarian says:

      @stupidfuckingcats: you win the award for being the most STUPID person. You really do not know much about anything. You should not have pets period!

  6. Oh sweet Jesus, this is so spot on. I was dismayed that one of the first phrases my son learned to say was “cat puke”. He always finds it first!

  7. rachel says:

    I totally feel this way about my dogs. I feel awful about it, too. My dog was my baby. She slept in my bed before my husband and I lived together. Now she’s a mostly outside dog. 🙁 For me, it started when she nipped at my son. She’s since learned and accepted him, but that forever changed her standing in my heart. Sad but true.

    • Hopefully you don’t have children. I know a lot of people consider their pets their “children” but how can they come before your flesh and blood kids that you carried for 9 months and went through labor and childbirth for??

      • Garzaster says:

        What happens when you have more than one kid and at least one of them (but probably all of them) bite each other? Does the bitey one lose a place in your heart?

        If you really don’t know your dog well enough or can’t train him/her well enough or simply can’t trust him/her with children (some dogs have issues) then maybe finding a good home for him/her is the best answer. Kathleen’s comment is fair. For one thing, I don’t see how giving up your dog for your children’s sake is putting your dog first. It is admitting that maybe you can’t handle both but that doesn’t mean your dog has to suffer for it.

        • Julie says:

          I don’t think she mentioned doing anything inhumane to be attacked for putting her kids first. If you read the original post you can tell that she feels badly about the change. So she lets the dog stay out more. Dogs have been outside animals since there were any dogs to speak about. It is normal for a dog to be outside. Now if the dog is never around ppl or is exiled in poor conditions, without shelter, etc. the yes that would be an issue. I think there is a bond between a mother and child that is stronger than anything you could ever have with an animal. As for the attack that you said, “If you really don’t know your dog well enough or can’t train him/her well enough….” you might be reading to much into the situation and, quite frankly, was insulting to read. She did train the dog. Funny, when I read the post my first though was for the welfare of the children around a potentially unsafe dog (I agree with you that some dogs have issues). I guess we obviously have differing perspectives.

        • Amy says:

          Bahaha! are you serious? Dogs belong outside love. They’re an animal. She still loves it, just Not as much as her children. I love animals and have two children, but dogs belong OUTSIDE, its not abuse. Don’t be such an idiot.

      • Ann says:

        Get over it, they’re only animals!

        • Abcd says:

          People are animals too, Jerk!

        • mmbris says:

          I value animals life over about 90% of people’s life. Sorry. There are no Hitler dogs and cats running around, or Republicans, or Westborough Baptist Church types.

        • Kelly says:

          Agreed 100% with Ann and as for mmbris, hopefully you’re not a parent. Animals are NOTHING compared to your own child. And you bet your a$$ I mean “nothing”

        • chris says:

          This comment is for ann and kelly. People like you shouldn’t have pets. You two look at a pet as a belonging, if your pet dies you just go and get a new one as if this innocent life was a pair of shoes. Fucking disgusting, I bet you bitches wouldn’t even cry for your pet, I wouldn’t be surprised if you had a material item that means more to you. Please if you would be so kind as to answer my question… Why the hell do people like you get pets?! You don’t care about them, why take on the responsibility of taking care of another life?! Actually would anyone who shares Ann and Kelly’s opinion please tell my why the fuck you would you get a pet if you don’t love and care about them? “Get over it they’re only animals.” What an atrocious statement, you are a disgusting “human being” and I say human loosely, you’re more of a little nasty maggot. A dogs life is worth much more than yours, a dog deserves to live much more than you would deserve it, you dont deserve it at all. I wish I had the ability to give a malnourished, neglected, and abused animal your undeserved privilege of a good life and put you in his spot. I wonder how quick you would “get over it” then, I would love to see. They aren’t just animals, you’re just an ignorant, disgusting, pompous assed maggot, even a maggot is too good for you. Animals, specifically dogs, have more love for people than people do. I know its immature of me to rant but once in a while I see someone who is just so ignorant uncaring and disgusting. This case upsets me just as much as people who have kids even though they cant take care of them. Article wasn’t bad, relatively interesting.

        • PaintedParadox says:

          I agree with mmbris, here, I love most animals more than people. Really though, Ann… “Only animals?”. Let’s say a beloved pet dies. Pfft, it was only an animal, anyway… Yes, it’s an animal, but no, it’s a sentient being, much like we ignorant humans. May I remind you that humans are also animals? Animals like cats and dogs may not be as intelligent, but they’re still conscious, living creatures on the same level as you. They’re not mindlessly stumbling around with a blank space inside their skulls.

      • Teru says:

        Your kids or family aren’t necesarily “your flesh and blood kids that you carried for 9 months and went through labor and childbirth for”

        An adopted child isn’t less of a child, for example.

        A pet is a life that you took responsability for, in some ways “needier” than children, since they will NEED you for all their lives (to feed them, water them, to clean up after them…)

    • J says:

      My dog nipped at my son too, nothing serious no blood drawn. And I was upset with her for doing it but at the same time my son needs to learn to respect animals and when he pulls her around by the tail or tries to ride a pug like a horse, she’s not going to be too happy about it.

      • glimmer88 says:

        Finally–someone who gets it.
        The dog only nipped at the baby, who was annoying it. But these bitches throw the dog outside and keep it out at the first nip. The animal doesn’t get to make any mistakes or get any second chances. One mistake and OUT. But of course it’s fine for the baby to grab the dog or cat, pull its tail, and squeeze it to death and the dog/cat is not supposed to do anything about that. If the animal responds to that with a slight scratch or nip—OH NO I’M NOT HAVING THAT. THAT ANIMAL IS SUPPOSED TO KNOW THIS IS MY PRECIOUS BABY AND LET MY PRECIOUS BABY DO WHATEVER IT WANTS. Give me a f’ing break people.

        • ERIKA says:

          Heckkkk yeah that’s what happens when your dog reacts toward your baby in a way that may harm it. My first instinct as a mom is ‘upper-cuts for all’ whenever it comes to the varied altercations between my dogs and children. I don’t act on it (but boyyy do I act in some way), but it is natural to feel that way. My husband and I are very pro-active about ensuring our babies don’t mistreat our pups, but the few times our dogs have responded to them the wrong way were met with swift reprimand (for both parties, when necessary). My child may do something that my dog feels threatened by, but she better go the eff on and let me deal with it, which I do. My dog(s) are not a good judge of character when it comes to what they find threatening. That the baby moved suddenly and you were slightly cornered is a sign that you should move your testy butt the eff on and nothing else. Nip at my baby and you will have a problem.

    • mmbris says:

      Clearly you’re brought up in the “torture small animals and such” way of thinking. Like a serial killer. Fancy that.

    • AnimalLover says:

      I’m a very big animal lover (won’t even eat them or anything from them) however if I had a dog and it nipped at my baby it’d be straight outside (obviously not without warmth shelter and other needed stuff) until I could arrange something, my baby becomes befoe any other animal or person (and before anyone feels the need to comment I’m not on about if I was to have another baby) I think there are so many trolls on the Internet that just feel the need to be controversial and edgey and tbh it makes you seem like a tw*t (its ashame cause I’m sure you are probably really nice people)

    • Anon says:

      Animals as pets is just stupid. There’s nothing cute about cats or dogs, kittens or puppies. Anyone who compares an animal to a human baby is also stupid.

  8. kristin says:

    I don’t have a cat, but we have a dog that is equally as annoying. She barks at the even slightest sound. (and it seems to be only when the kids are napping or trying to fall asleep for the night.) It! (And shushing her or telling her to shut up only makes her bark louder.) Sigh.

    • Kristin Lopez says:

      Dogs may not speak English, but they certainly understand it! How else would my dog know find her leash and go to the door at the mention of the word, “leash?”

      • Denis says:

        No, they make associations, which is what commands are (association of a sound or gesture to an action). If I were to say “ugmdre” to you and give you ice cream every day you would assume it means “ice cream” and have no way of telling that what I meant was “once you’re fat enough we will roast you”. You could just as easily train your dog to understand “eslk” to mean “leash”.

        • jamie says:

          Isnt that all a language is–specific sounds and combinations of letters that we attach to certain objects?? i think a dogs language is just like a persons–you learn what you are around.

    • Manuel says:

      Dogs are losers with big noses who can associate the command “shut up” with foot induced butt pain

    • Kelley says:

      Commands…. in English, right?

  9. Naci says:

    We have two little dogs. Always under your feet, and when the baby is asleep, the bark at EVERYTHING. And its the perfect time for them to play. They sometimes even run away from you when you tell them to hush, but they run into the babies room and bark there… I hate my little dogs…

    • Larissa says:

      Don’t just assume that because dogs bark when they aren’t supposed to that they aren’t trained. Dogs do misbehave. Heck my dog was the top of his obedience classes, I learned a lot too of course. Now that my daughter naps, I have had to resort to a bark collar. Again, my dog is trained. But that training goes out the window when he sees a squirrel.

    • Allison says:

      What a rude thing to say.

    • J says:

      your a joke

  10. Ashley W says:

    I actually had thoughts of this nature this morning as my cat kept walking through my legs as I was trying to get my 2 year old breakfast while holding my 4 week old in the wrap. I can’t see things directly under me when that is the case. So when I told my cat (the oldest kid) that he’d have to wait a few minutes for his breakfast, he decides to sit in the middle of the kitchen, just so I don’t accidentally forget about him.

    Clever cat.

    If I fall while carrying the baby, it will almost certainly be kitty brother’s fault. But my 2yo also finds his way under my feet. I think the cat taught him.

    • Sharon says:

      Bahahahah ” I think the cat taught him”. I am sure you are right! I used to love cats but now the thought of them using their litter box and then walking on my kitchen counters freaks me out.

      • Meg says:

        why were your cats ever allowed to walk on the counter in the first place? no cats on anything you’d keep food on! I thought that was a pet owner basic..

        • Julie says:

          You have never owned a cat have you?

          • Emlemur says:

            So true! Our cats have never been ‘allowed’ on the counter. After years of training (spray bottles, aluminum foil on counters, tape on counters, yelling like crazy people), the only thing we’ve managed to teach them is that when they want to go on the counters they should try not to get caught. Sigh. Gunther Gable Williams, famed big cat trainer, said the only animal he was ever unable to train was the common house cat.

        • SassyDandelion says:

          Our cat NEVER got on the counters! Until we moved into our new house. Which has a gas stove with a glass top. I just happened to look down and notice little kitty prints across said stove. He was smart enough that he knew not to get on the counters while we were actually home.

      • mmbris says:

        I taught my cats both early on that counters were off limits and they both have not tried to get up there since. *shrug*

    • Andrea says:

      So that’s why my grandson rubs against my legs when I come home! He has always like the cat’s toys better, now he’s trying their food!

  11. Jen says:

    LoL I JUST went upstairs and grabbed my cat because he just tore through the living and I have two tired babies that just fell asleep. It’s like the second they both hit the mattress, he needs to burn some energy.

    • Karissa says:

      Haha! I think that’s the case, our cat tears through the house at 2 am. I think it’s because she knows neither the dog or my 4 yo will bother her then. She gets full stretch of the house! Hahaha!

  12. Nic8910 says:

    Omg, this couldn’t be more true! Our cat was the sweetest thing, our baby really until we got her fixed and her whole temperament changed. She just became kinda mean, but she didn’t annoy me until I got pregnant. Like the second I realized there was going to be a baby EVERYTHING she did bothered me sooo much. Our dog is a different story – he and my son love each other, but the dog has definitely been put on the back burner now. And he has the best way of knowing exactly when the baby is asleep to start barking. I too wish we just had fish sometimes.

    • Erin says:

      As a fish and cat person, I have to say that the fish are more work! They may be quiet, but water changes on a weekly basis, filters or heaters quitting at I opportune moments, etc.

      It’s the price we pay for having pets. But, for me at least, even when it’s rough, it’s usually worth it. I love my furry and my finned friends and so does my son.

  13. Mandy says:

    So nice to know I’m not alone! And yes, dogs are just as annoying. We had two teacup Yorkie Terriers before we had kids. They were our baies!! They were almost potty trained when we had our first child – then they regressed. Then baby #2 came along and it was all I could do not to drop them off at the nearest shelter. I felt so guilty though, hating the very dogs that I’d loved! I finally realized that they weren’t happy either, being as neglected as they were. They moved in with my mother in law, and all is wonderful and peaceful now…until she comes to visit and brings them along…then it’s another month of deprograming my daughter as to where her puppies are. Luckily, MIL only visits once a month-ish….ugh.

  14. I, too, am just waiting for mine to die. I have a dog and a cat; 9 years and 11 years respectively. I used to absolutely ADORE them. Not so much anymore. It’s hard enough to clean up after my 4 year old and adding the litter box, constant dog shedding, feeding, watering, barking, meowing….it’s enough to drive one mad.

    • Myoubi, you are a jerkwad who needs to shut up!!! I’ve just started reading these comments and I’m already tired of you!!!

      • Jenni says:

        Myoubi, you are cruel for leaving such rude comments.

        • Abcd says:

          Myoubi is a jerkwad and cruel? Really? For sticking up for the animals? Well Ashley, you’re dumb for using your real name as a sign on! Jenni, you might want to look up the definition of cruel.

    • Julie says:

      Nothing was said that was cruel. She is venting here. She obviously is taking care of her animals; but, she does have point about all the work that goes into caring for a pet after you have a baby. The perspective changes. You must not have children. Your comments are harsh and unproductive.

      • Paula says:

        Idiots, Myoubi was replying to the commenter ABOVE who said she’s waiting for her dogs to die. That IS cruel. In fact, almost all the commenters here making those types of statements are cruel assholes who should just have the decency to find good homes for their pets instead of neglecting them and “waiting for them to die.”

        Anyway, Myoubi wasn’t commenting on the post, just the comment above—HENCE THE INDENT AND DIFFERENT COLOR.

        • sue says:

          I’m assuming you all have kids (and some may or may not own pets). To the parents with kids who are name calling and using bad language – wow never let your kids see what you’re writing on here. To the pet owners with kids – your pets have been loyal and gave you unconditional love through all the ups and downs. Please don’t forget that.

        • Abcd says:


    • CDC says:

      Stupid cunt.

  15. jamye says:

    OMG… this is so true and so funny. And yes…dogs are JUST as annoying if not worse. I have one cat and THREE dogs…and a 11mo lil boy. I used to think I could never love a baby more then I loved my dogs and people were crazy. And then came along and Dylan and now I am like…we have dogs? haha 😉 The things that never bothered me before…shedding, cat puke, dogs eating the cat puke, etc (okay so that stuff did bother me haha) now drives me to the edge of insanity. Pet hair..omg Dylan is gonna crawl and get it all over him or try to eat it! Cat puke…thanks for ruining the floor my child crawls on! Dogs eating cat puke…omg don’t kiss the baby with that nasty mouth!!! The list of horrors goes on and I find myself wondering what I was thinking having all these pets. haha

  16. christine says:

    so so true, even with the dogs. this weekend my 22-month-old son stepped in dog puke and walked across the living room before telling me about it. then, one of the dogs ATE POOP out of my son’s little potty when I went to grab a wipe for his butt.

    • Lacey says:

      This is what they do to clean up after their own puppies 😛 They were just trying to be helpful *laughs*

  17. Julie says:

    This is exactly how it happens. Exactly! Stupid me thought it must be the cat and then I go another when that one died. Stupid!

  18. Christa says:

    oh my god. you described my cat experience to a T. I loooved my cat, all during pregnancy. Then the baby came and it was damn cat, get off the bed with your hairy self and cat litter in between your toes, leave the baby alone, ugh you stepped in your poop/pee in the litter box and are now making everything unsanitary. Poor cat. I gave him to a loving home soon after. and dogs that my mom and Mother in law own are just as bad… you know, with the “please go away dog so my kid doesn’t feel obligated to share her food with you. please sit down dog so you don’t get poked in the butt. please just go away dog.” LOL

    • XOXO says:

      I’m happy to hear that this lady gave her cat to someone who would appreciate and love it. Some people on this blog have said things like “just waiting for the cat to die”. Horrible. Haunts me. If you’re no longer into having a pet and are basically just doing the minimum for it but not actually giving a pet attention or love, then please find it a home where it will be appreciated and loved instead of ignored and shoo’ed away.

      • Wowee Powee says:

        Furreal? These pets are clearly loved and taken care of. You’ve never heard of venting before, have you? Slow down, take a chill pill, and please never own a pet or a kid because you will quickly go bonkers trying to be all PC talking about your animals who really care about nothing more than getting their FOOD and a little affection every now and then. Anthropomorphize much?

  19. E says:

    I still love my cat.

    • Lisa says:

      Me too, and I’m certain the blog writer does too. Sheesh, some of the comments above are pretty batty.

      • Debby says:

        I had 4 cats when my daughter was born and I never waivered from any of them. We are down to 1 cat 7 years later and he is 20, and I will miss the living daylights out of hiim when he is gone. BTW, 2 of the cats that are gone now came from a woman who told me they were her babies, until she had her “real” babies, and now they were more of a pain in the neck than anything else, and “you’ll see when you have kids.” Well, 7 years later, and I still don’t see.

      • Patty S. says:

        Well, loving your cat more than your husband was your first problem. It’s a pet. Your spouse needs to be a bit more important that an animal. And as for a child putting things in their mouth with cat hair on it is just gross. Did you let her eat food off the floor in public places too? Ugh.

        • Myoubi says:

          I think the problem was the husband not loving her or the baby enough when she needed it. Yes is a pet that is alive. it’s a life not a thing.

        • MD says:

          LOL so you can honestly say that you disinfected every little thing your child ever put into their mouth. Please. Get off your high horse lady.

      • Jade says:

        I love my cat too. Can’t believe the weird comments on here. Why not just give the poor cat to a good home, or even a no kill shelter?

        Hope their kids don’t become too much of an inconvenience or they might find themselves at a shelter. “He was just underfoot too much…”

  20. Erica says:

    Yep we (maybe I should say I, my husband seems to genuinely still like the dogs LOL) feel the same way about the dogs. They are always underfoot, they pee/poop on the kids outside toys on a regular basis, it’s a constant issue to make sure the baby isn’t annoying the dog (pulling tails, hair, getting in their face etc), their collars jingle and jangle when children are asleep and their nails click and clack on the hardwood floor loudly, they attempt to sleep under the girls’ beds every. damn. day. even though we kick them out every. damn. time. So yeah, I feel ya 😉

  21. Ellie says:

    Glad to know I’m not the only cold-hearted bitch around. My cat was my baby … until I had a baby. And then she became the most annoying thing I’d ever chosen to saddle myself with (until I had the second baby). Underfoot ALL THE TIME, check. Loud meowing when baby is asleep, check. Leaving cat-kill where crawling baby can eat it, check.

    And then she had a stroke and died at only 12, and I was, and am, filled with remorse. How could I have actually loathed my lovely, lovely cat? I don’t dare get another one now, because baby #2 is still quite small, and how do I know that this same horrible metamorphosis from cat-lover to animal-hater won’t happen again?

    • Andrea says:

      Ellie, you are too hard on yourself. Maternal instincts probably caused your strong emotional defense of your offspring (after all, we worked hard to them into this world!) Perhaps when the kids are older, and the timing is better, the kitty you need will find you!

    • XOXO says:

      Frankly, kids sound way more annoying and burdensome than a kitty. That’s why I’ll stick with my four legged furry babies than the “real” babies. No thanks. None for me.

      • Sal says:

        Wait, why are you on a parenting blog then? Just to stir shit up? I truly never will understand the need for “childfree” advocates to lurk on parenting blogs and judge everyone.

      • Wowee Powee says:

        Why bother being here or commenting then? You clearly can’t understand as aptly demonstrated by the author of the original post. I would have thought all of the same things before I had my daughter. And yes kids are annoying in many of the same ways pets are. (Hence the venting about kids as well as pets). But there are these little things that you seem able to apply to animals but unable to apply to humans. They’re called instincts. So, believe me, if you ever do decide to have a child, you will fall into the same categories as the commenters you are having so much fun with now. Take a chill pill, you are obviously too much of an anxiety-ridden soul to take care of pets adequately.

  22. jan says:

    Every single time I get my one year old laid down sleeping in his crib, my oldest cat without fail wraps around my feet and starts meowing loudly. At least half the time, this wakes the baby. Yes, I love my cats but there are times I really want to kick them out the bedroom door 😛

    I’m not even going to mention how loud I screamed when one of them jumped into the baby’s crib and LANDED ON HIS HEAD! Darn cats!

    • Helga says:

      Or perhaps they really are just getting more annoying. I haven’t even had my baby yet, and already the cat is having worse behavior than before I got pregnant. And no, I didn’t change my behavior toward her. My frustration at her is only now, because she changed.

    • Emlemur says:

      I don’t know. Our cats already take flying leaps onto our heads while we sleep. It has nothing whatsoever to do with a need for attention. They just go nuts from 10:00 pm- 1:00 am every night for no reason. That’s why we’re getting a cat tent for the bassinet/crib when the baby arrives. It had better be strong too! Other than that, I was raised with a cat (granted a much older, calmer cat), so our kiddo should be fine with our two feline hooligans. I mainly worry about the cats trying to jump on the baby or sleep on his/her face just to be loving. Cat tent! I hope it works! Anyone try it?

    • SassyDandelion says:

      You are a troll. Seriously.

  23. Mel says:

    Maybe it’s better if you don’t get the cats until after the babies. My youngest was 5 when we got our first two cats, my older son got his own cat a few years ago, and we’re now fostering a mom and 4 kittens. My younger son (now almost 13) will be adopting one of the kittens. The older son, 19 and almost in his own apartment, wants another to keep his cat company. Between my two boys, my house is trashed anyway, so what’s a few cats added to the mix? I can redo everything (carpet, furniture, blinds) after the boys and cats have moved on.

    • Laura says:

      I agree 100%! Babies + pets = mess, potential health hazards, irritation & annoyance. Big kids + pets = best friends, LOVE, and yes, still mess, but at least the kids can help with the clean up instead of adding to it (as much). For those commentors who are waiting for their pets to die: it might not be so bad in a few years. I hate to admit that I also went through a period where I wished we didn’t have the cats, but as the human kids aged out of the putting-everything-in-mouth stage & started to avoid health hazards on their own, I was able to love the furry kids as much as I ever did. Try to stick it out, and remind yourself that it’s not their fault that you decided to change the family dynamic by adding a baby.

  24. Amber Dusick says:

    For clarification (and to possibly curb hate mail) I do *love* my cats still and treat them kindly, etc. They just annoy the heck out of me.

    • Lana says:

      geez.. going back and reading some of these comments.. clearly someone put this on FB and a bunch of over zealous animal activists saw it and took the comments of parents way too seriously.
      I love my animals very much but they are all endangered species. I am not going to get anymore when they pass because I feel life would be easier. *though when my kids are bigger I might feel differently again* but at present with a just gone 3 year old and a 16 month old life is hectic with 2 horses, 2 cats, 1 dog, 1 rabbit, chickens and a turtle.. we *used to* foster animals and these were the ones that could never be successfully re-homed with the exception of my horses who were rescues but I never intended on re-homing. The horses are the only ones I feel I will ever replace. Our animals have NOT been treated any differently than before but I have to admit the desire to rid myself of the DOG (who has issues) was at it’s most extreme when I was pregnant with DS2 because he inexplicably got out of our yard every day and went to visit another family down the road. But it wasn’t much of a problem as they enjoyed his company and he was quite safe. it was just the fact that I had to have to go get him everyday and I had anxiety that they might become annoyed. Turned out they were giving him treats so of course he was basically TRAINED by THEM to go there. Still it is hard work and I have no desire to add to the fur babies department :-/

  25. Suzanne says:

    Wow, a lot of hate going on here. Feel pretty sorry for the animals who have not only been pushed out from their previously much-loved position but are now on death watch. Nice. Hopefully your kids won’t pick up on your disrespect for living creatures. My pets were part of my family before I had my daughter and, as it is when you’re part of a family, they remain part of my family since my daughter was born.

    • Tracey says:

      Agreed. Poor animals–neglected and shoved aside, then sentenced to death for not understanding why they were being neglected. What a great message to send kids–if you let something or someone love you, you can then neglect, abuse, and abandon them.

      • XOXO says:

        True and teaching a lesson to kids that anything old and annoying should just be abandoned and hope it dies quickly so as to avoid any inconvenience. Good luck mom and dad when you’re old and annoying, I hope your kids don’t just abandon and neglect you in a nursing home. Maybe they’ll stop by on holidays but by then they’ll have their own kids and you’ll just be a burden. I mean.. that’s the lesson they’re getting anyway.

    • Bridgett says:

      Yup. We try to do special activities that the dog will especially enjoy. This normally involves hanging out with other greyhounds, which the baby loves too, so it’s win-win. But that’s juts so harsh to put them on “death watch”. My sister had 6 kids, and still loves and cares for her cat. These pets on “death watch” must be owned by parents that were just too immature to have kids *and* pets. Sad.

    • Wowee Powee says:

      OMG, it is called VENTING. I love my daughter too but I vent about her sometimes as well. Yes, you are going to get annoyed with your pets. Heck, I got rid of my BOYFRIEND when I got pregnant so, frankly, my pets are lucky. Chill! Amazingly, both pets and kids are very very resilient. My advice is to wait it out past the toddler stage, take care of both your kids and your pets, and you’ll all eventually see the light at the end. No, another family can’t take care of my pets as well as I can the same way that another family can’t take care of my daughter as well as I can.

  26. I let the cats sit on my pregger belly and purr and meow to their hearts’ content. So now my daughter can sleep right through it! My husband developed his snore during my pregnancy too, and she can sleep through that as well (thank Gawd!) My complaint is that they like to lie down on her tummy, which wakes her up. Luckily, my cats are mostly all old and fat, so I put a baby gate up at night to block them from the bedrooms, and only one of our cats is still agile enough to hop the fence. And she’s deathly afraid of the child, since my husband would pin her down to let the toddler ‘pet’ her, so she avoids her like the plague.

    • Helga says:

      So glad you put the gate up! Cats like to lay on babies, and have been known to unintentionally smother them to death. Babies lungs aren’t strong enough to fill up on air when there’s something large sitting on them. It used to be some old tale about cats sucking the breath out of babies, which is bogus of course. But they do make it so they can’t breathe. It’s not as big a problem with older babies, but definitely a problem with newborns.

      • Ashley says:

        you do realize this is an old wives tale i.e. bullshit.

        • J says:

          My cat used to sleep on my wife’s head, lol she hated it, would wake up and throw him out of bed. Babies can’t move kitty off of their heads…..

      • Aurora says:

        Yeah, this isn’t true… at all. No documented cases of this happening. However, there are cases of dogs attacking babies… And even more cases of human parents intentionally, as well as accidentally killing their babies.

        Cats smothering babies just isn’t true.

    • Marie says:

      You are very lucky to have a good sleeper. Not everyone is.

  27. a mama who still loves her cats says:

    i feel really bad for all of your pets 🙁

    i love my kids, and i still love my cats. and i think there is something very wrong with you if something as simple as popping a kid out of your own loins can change that.

    • Morgan says:

      You nailed it. I was thinking that exact same thing. As in, “the reality will soon hit that much like your cats your kids will not be putting you on an altar in their lives and might make a lot more noise than a meow”….

    • Kimberly says:

      I love our dog. She is, by a wide margin, the best dog I’ve ever had. She puts up with my kids stunts…lets them use her as something to poke and prod at…lets them use her as a step stool…and still is sweet and loving. But damnit if some of the crap she does doesn’t piss me off. Like eating my cloth diapers. Or peeing/pooping in my older daughters room. Or being right under my feet as I juggle grocery bags, a toddler and a baby. I think a lot of the frustration comes when we can’t baby our pets like we used to…they don’t understand “wait a second while I clean shit up from the floor”. I absolutely love my pound pup…she’s the best dog ever…but I can’t wait till my kiddos get older so she can get the attention she deserves.

      • Aurora says:

        See, this from Kimberly is a totally appropriate and understandable vent and response to this article. Yes, things our loved ones do can be annoying, and we wish we had more time/energy to devote to all our relationships – including those with our pets. When there are little ones this sometimes isn’t possible, but we need to be prepared to deal with the consequences of that and not just get rid of them. It’s OK to be annoyed and not as able to give attention. It’s not OK to neglect or abandon because it got ‘too hard.’

      • Let Them Eat Cake says:

        I totally agree with Kimberly. This article was meant to be a comical window into the life of a mother and an animal owner (whom sometimes gets annoyed with her adorable kitty). Why everyone is taking this to the next level bordering hatefulness, is beyond me. This article made me laugh, and I feel sorry that not everyone got the same enjoyable pleasure. Too each their own I suppose.

  28. Lene says:

    Before we had our Dude, we had a cat that we were luke warm about at best. We inherited her / him (after numerous vet visits we were still unsure of it’s sex) from my husbands ex girlfriend. Fast forward several years and I was pregnant, the hubs was out of town on business, in that week the cat had peed on the couch, our bed, the bath rug and the living room rug. I was DONE, I took it to the local “no kill shelter” and gave them a donation to take the cat, promising no questions asked. I have never looked back again.

  29. Serenity says:

    The same could be said for my dogs, lol

  30. Rebekah K says:

    OH MY GOD I AM IN TEARS! I just got my 6 week old son to sleep IN HIS CRIB the other day and I turn around to leave and there sits my cat. MEOW! Omg I could’ve killed her! And yes….my son did wake up. Here’s to the pets we always (thought) we wanted 🙂

    • Kristina says:

      XOXO – you need to stop telling people that if they would give their animals more attention they wouldn’t meow, or make noise, or whatever. Good lord. Animals make noise. It’s annoying when you’re trying to put your kids to sleep. Get over it.

      • Helga says:

        Agreed!! I swear, this person is acting as though they know how we all treat our animals. Like neglect alone is the ONLY reason an animal would ever ever EVER be annoying!! Get a grip on reality, XOXO…pets are not perfect, just like humans are not perfect. For you to think that it’s a result of whether we’re loving them or not is ridiculous and presumptuous.

    • Wowee Powee says:

      XOXO – please don’t ever have pets because, honestly, if you get this worked up about what other people think – I feel sorry for your pets, they’re obviously dealing with a neurotic owner.

  31. Becky says:

    Loved, loved, loved our golden retriever before we had our twins. I think what got me was the looks she would give me after we brought the babies home – so pitiful and sad. I was up to my eyeballs with babies and I felt so GUILTY that the dog was (by necessity) being put on the back burner. I really resented that. She was a really good dog with the kids, but she knew that her spot in the family had changed.

  32. PetLovingButAnnoyedMom says:

    This is hilarious! I’m just like you, I love my cats still but yes, annoying!!! (some of the other comments are cold though, wow, I’d never take mine to a shelter. But I don’t think you were saying that you hate them to that level, that seems extreme.)

  33. Sair says:

    I’m actually quite saddened by all the animal hate. I have two cats and we plan on getting a dog. I have. 16 month old and hope to pregnant within the next year. How can you love something so much one day and not the next – I guess I just don’t understand.

    • Llama says:

      Agreed…there are some heartless people out there. 🙁

    • Wowee Powee says:

      I don’t think most of this is animal hate, just venting. Maybe some really do hate. Why do you think divorces happen so often? If you can divorce your child’s parent, I shudder to think what you could do if you hated the pet. I think that’s probably a small minority. My pets are irritating sometimes. That doesn’t mean I would pawn them off on some mysterious (and probably nonexistent) “better family.” I made a commitment to my pets so I will keep that, no matter how annoying they may become. I think the vast majority here are just simply venting.

  34. I am in tears…this is amazing. I have 3 cats (yes…I am stupid) and they are now most hated. I used to take pictures on my phone of them and send them to my husband via text…”look at cute cats!”, etc.

    Now…I fantasize about leaving the door open and watching them run away…”No…wait…don’t leave…okay, well since you are already out of the house, I will just continue sitting on the couch and not chase after you”

    PLEASE write a book. I will buy tons of copies.

  35. Irish Al says:

    Turf the cats outside. They’ll be fine.

  36. Craftwhack says:

    I’m in full-on annoyance mode with my dog. For the second time. Poor old dog.

  37. nina says:

    Hilarious!! Very true in my experience. Which is why we no longer have cats.

  38. mandi says:

    I used to be an avid animal lover had 1-2 dogs and at least 2 cats my whole life and thenmoivng out on my own I of course did not own a dog and even the cats were given up to my parents where they could have a better home… married a man who allergic to animal dander and an anti-anti histamine person I actually had to write out the pros and cons the biggest con being that I would not be able to have animals in my future at least not indoor cuddly hair all over the place pets that I was accustomed to. LOL I thought at one point well with kids asking dad maybe he will budge… HAHAH now… I can’t stand the neighbors dogs ALL OF THEM.. they “talk” to each other all night long… “hey charlie!@! DEER IN THE VICINITY!! alert squirrel moving on your 6!! CRIPES its a good thing I don’t have a gun… dog poop in my yard that I have to point out to my toddlers~!~ and don’t even go there about ever owning a dog in the next 5 years ITs a big enough job cleaning up after food throwing kids let alone trying to keep up on a cat or dogs hair… so I am happy to say I am over my pet fascination and gladly wait till Im in my 60’s to get the small toy dog that I never have been thrilled with (i always like bigger sport breeds like retrievers, labs, and border collies) ah but when Im sixty won’t I be traveling… I still love dogs and cats but I love them infinitely better at my parents house or a friends place in another neighborhood!! great writeup!! lol

  39. Pingugirl says:

    we love our two cats and our iguana. Our 16 month old girl loves them too. I cuddled a chicken on the weekend. It was so soft and cute. Animals are our friends, not food.

  40. FancyMomma says:

    I hear ya…and p.s. I love you!

    My cat has decided she will only use the little box when it is pristine. Which it never is. So she poops on the floor next to the box. Which is gross…yet my husband and I can ignore it for days hoping the other one will clean it.

    So annoying. I keep threatening to give her away. And yes, my child-free friend love her!!!

  41. Angi Wilson says:

    I think yall have missed the common denominator to ALL your cat/dog problems. It’s the children! When you try to equate the sheer hell and torture they put you through in just the first 18 years, it by far outweighs the problems a simple cat or dog gives ya! And if we didn’t have kids, it wouldn’t matter about them making noise, now would it? I think I’m getting rid of my kids and keeping my dogs! LOLOLOLOLOLOL Sorry, I was just reading along wondering when anyone was going to point this out!

    Loved reading this string, it really made me laugh! Remember, your dog/cat won’t ask for money, won’t lie to you and won’t ever wreck your car!!! Think it over, that’s all I’m sayin’! 🙂

  42. Jane says:

    Hilarious! We have a toddler, a dog, and a cat. Our cat is kindof a pain in the ass. My husband hates him (and so did our foster daughter, when she lived here). Our neighbors are childless animal lovers and are CRAZY about our cat. Now I know why!

  43. liz says:

    hindsight is a beautiful thing Mel. They already had cats way before kids 😉

  44. Rainyday says:

    Bang on. This couldn’t possibly be more true. Our older cat, the evil one, will jump up on the kids bed and meow. Scares them to death because normally she’s staring them down in the hallway, daring the to run by so she can scratch. And yet she’s in their beds. Their beds!!! Usually only when I’m in there, trying to get them to sleep. Which of course they won’t because evil death cat is sitting on them. And she thinks I’ll pay attention to her after that stunt.

  45. Louise says:

    Ahh yes, agree entirely with all the posts! My husband says they “earn their keep” by teaching our three kids: the baby has learned to stop pulling the cat’s fur out and is onto pulling her to the ground and lying on her. The older two learned about death when our geriatric cat finally died and they have learned that dogs smell and are annoying so hopefully won’t be smitten with puppies and kittens in the future! We have learned that animals are not required in our home, not even fish, until the kids are old enough to clean up after them!

  46. Sarah says:

    OMG that is me! When I was pregnant I was convinced the cat was deliberately trying to kill me by weaving about in front of me where I couldn’t see him and trip me down the stairs.

  47. janel says:

    wow. i cant believe the coldhearted unabashed selfishness i’m reading here. if you have animals and then kids,make room in your tiny heart for both and enjoy the diversity of life goin on around you. the kids will thank you later for teaching them tolerence and love for all things. mine did.

    • Helga says:

      I can’t believe the coldhearted unabashed judging I’m reading here. If you can understand human diversity at all, make room in your tiny heart to accept that every situation in different, and not one of us knows another’s situation just from a comment on a post well enough to say what they should or shouldn’t do.

  48. Brilliant, and so true! I am not alone!

  49. Tanya says:

    My cat does drive me crazy at times. Like right now when she is desperately trying to sit on my keyboard! Or when I get some time to myself and she wants some attention or to be fed. Or when she vomits, like everyday! Is that normal?? It was especially bad when my little girl had gastro and I had just finished cleaning up her vomit only to find cat vomit to clean.

    But my cat has also been a blessing at times. My little girl adores our cat. So when she’s having a tantrum I can say “Where’s the cat?” and she’ll stop and start looking for her. 🙂

    • Wowee Powee says:

      Exactly. Life has its ups and downs. Luckily pets and kids are both pretty resilient and forgiving.

  50. Jazmin says:

    You NAILED it! BUT try having a basset hound! Who howls in annoyance whenever your child is crying. Yes, this is even when the newborn baby is being fussy in his sleep. Which is easily fixed with a boob, but thanks to the dog howling in annoyance, the baby is now wide awake. Ugh I hate hubby’s dog, waiting for him to die. I got rid of my cat. He peed on all the kids things, including their $300 carseats!

    • Jenn says:

      LMFAO. Omg your comment made me laugh to tears.

    • Wowee Powee says:

      Don’t worry, your kid is eventually going to piss in your carseat. Actually, wtf, why did you have the dang carseat where the cat could piss in it!? 2.5 years I’ve had my daughter and all my cats – never once has the carseat had cat pee in it.

      • Aurora says:

        I was wondering the same thing! Why were the cats in the carseat?! And that it will eventually have pee in it anyway.

    • Jane says:

      Human lives > cat lives. It’s not the same thing. Don’t be a retard.

  51. Dan says:


  52. Linda says:

    You know what else cries all the time and gets under your feet? The first kid after the second is born. 😛

  53. shocked says:

    I’m shocked by the “waiting to die” comments. Really, you people make me sad. As do the ones who mention abandoning their cats at shelters. How awful. What are you teaching your kids?

    However, this being said, I thought the post was hilarious.

    It is one thing to be annoyed and vent like in the post but another to be cruel and heartless.

    • Wowee Powee says:

      I agree. Although I do think most of even the “waiting to die” comments are also venting.

  54. kat says:

    This is so funny. I once told my friend that if my future babies were allergic to my cats, the babies would go. Two children later, now I can hardly stand them and don’t have anything left for them at the end of the day. Poor kitties. It’s just one of those things people don’t understand until it happens to them.

    • Peggy says:

      THANK YOU. YES. When you get a pet, you’re accepting them as part of your family and a responsibility! Having kids doesn’t mean you can neglect them or get rid of them.

    • Helga says:

      Llama, pets mean different things to different people. To you, they are family members. To others, they are pets. As for part of your comment, I don’t understand why you even mentioned wishing they would die. That person NEVER said they wished they would die. Don’t assume, people.

  55. Bre says:

    ok so this isn’t just me then. i have had my dog for 8 years and i have had my baby for 5 months. the dog has no interest in the baby seeing as how he is 11ish and never signed up to be bff with an infant. i’ve tried so hard to not ignore him for he is very very set in his ways. but this morning he had the runs and sh*t EVERYWHERE including the baby’s room. i was too sleepy this morning to even yell but i just KNOW he put his butt on anything of the kid’s on the floor. i’m going to have to hit the house with old school rubber gloves when i get home

  56. Kristeena says:

    Once again, right on the money. Between 2 boys and an “outdoorsy” husband there is not more patience left for a dog and cat who pee, poop, barf and rip my house to shreds like a bad ’80s t-shirt.

  57. This is wonderful.

    I went back and read a few posts and you are fantastic.

    Thank you so much for stopping by,so I could come back and delight in this.

    My fave one so far is the cracker toddler one.

    But I have more work to do here.

    You are really, really incredible.

  58. nsg says:

    All of you referring to butt stamps? WTF? Cats sit on their haunches, unless they are horribly overweight their butts are NOT touching anything.

    And if you cat pukes that much she probably needs more canned food in her diet or a trip to the vet.

    And the cat the peed all over in a weekend? Probably had a very painful bladder infection- and I am trying not to hope you get one yourself.

  59. Lettuce says:

    SO TRUE. I actually rehomed my two cats not long after my first child was born…not something I’d ever ever admit to an animal lover, who would likely see me lynched for it. Or even admit to the 20-young-something version of myself who was practically obsessed with those damn cats. But as soon as there was a baby in the house, I was physically repulsed by the cats’ fur everywhere, their “butt stamps” (hahahaha, yes!), the litter they would track through the place. I literally could not stand to be in the same room with them, never mind have my baby near them.

    I like to tell myself it was some kind of good mommy instinct left over from the caveman days (because small babies plus cats in long ago times equals lunch). But that’s probably just a rationalization for becoming a raging heartless bitch.

    • Jane says:

      Agree with you wholeheartedly! Once loved cats (ugh), realized how fucking disgusting they are the hard way. Needless to say they’re no longer here.

  60. cats own babies says:

    i hope your cats kill your baby in their sleep…

    • scrappydiva says:


    • Wowee Powee says:

      Please never own pets since you are clearly so out of your mind that you are incapable of actually caring for one beyond your own idea of yourself. Bottom line, people are venting and, believe it or not, humans are subject to the same kind of instinctual behavior as animals. If you think pets are equal to people, this shouldn’t be difficult for you to accomodate in that big noggin of yours.

      I hope my cat doesn’t come kill you in your sleep.

  61. Gina says:

    YES!!!! The collars jingling and the nails clicking!! AHHH!! I have to remove my dog’s collar every night. Just last night he woke the baby by scratching and shaking his head, which ALWAYS wakes her up and he does CONSTANTLY because he has allergies. GAH!

  62. Jaz says:

    Shut the door when the baby is sleeping. Problem solved. A little noise is a good, especially once you have your second child. You think a cat meowing is loud? How about a four year old practicing his drumming abilities when the six week old is sleeping. I’m not a germophobe thanks to my rural upbringing, and I was never quiet when my kids were sleeping, so they learned to sleep through normal household noise–like a cat meowing.

    I raised two kids in a house with multiple cats and never had any of these issues. The cats taught my little ones from a young age how to be gentle and compassionate with creatures smaller than them. One was the perfect mama cat, even though he was male, and always came and tattled to me with loud meows when my boys were up to something they shouldn’t have been. The boys naturally shared their milk and tuna with the cats, making it an all around mutually beneficial relationship.

    • Wowee Powee says:

      That’s great. It must be hard being such a perfect parent and having to look down at the rest of us poor cads. I’m chalking this up to overly rosy memories of your kids. Actually now my own memories of annoyance with my pets are pretty dim (except for kid eating the litter) so I can see where it might happen.

      • j says:

        You seem to hold a grudge against anyone who reminds you in some way that you’re an awful pet owner. Don’t blame others for your personal failures.

  63. Anna-Leigh says:

    Bwahahaha! I wondered if I was the only one who felt that way, I’m glad to know I am not. We weren’t even home a week with our baby and the cat jumped up on the changing table while the baby was on it…the cat grew wings at that moment. And yes, cats should wear underwear 😉

  64. Kim says:

    LOL at this post. The comments, eh, not as much.

  65. cat lover for life says:

    Amazing how being a parent, and experiencing the supposed “miracle of life” can make you such a bitter, selfish, horrible person. You had the pets first and knew exactly what they did and how they acted. They didn’t change, why should they suffer because of your instability and lack of planning? This article has confirmed my decision to never have children, especially if I’m to turn into such an awful person. I don’t think I want one of these pooping, vomiting, germ-infested babies around my cats anyway. This is one of the saddest things I’ve ever read.

    • Lara says:

      Um, have you ever heard of VENTING? How is being “annoyed” by her cats the saddest thing you have ever read? Did you even read the comic?

    • Amanda says:

      Eva you need to read a little father back, before the lady put her pet in a no kill with a donation others have admitted to dropping cats off at shelters… you cant assure they all lived.

  66. Anna-Leigh says:

    …and just for the record I still love my fur balls. We actually just had to put one down a couple weeks ago and it’s been one of the toughest things to deal with (RIP Yoda) :-)They still can be aggravating…

  67. Melinda says:

    I loved my pre kid dog. My after-3- kids dog…not so much. I feel bad for saying it but for the record I was the only one that voted no on getting him and the only one who takes care of him. 🙂 Great story and drawings as always!!

  68. Tori says:

    We have those SAME cats!!! *sigh*

    • Emlemur says:

      OMG. I know. It’s creepy. Two black cats. Boundless energy. Underfoot. Not sleep-friendly beasts at all. We still love them to bits, but holy cow! They knock things down ON PURPOSE just to watch them fall. Then they look right at us and meow all cute-like. I love how unabashedly evil they are, really. It’s why I’ve always been a cat person. Dogs are just too good-hearted.

      They’ve been good practice for kids, too. “What is that? What are you eating? is that STRING!?!?!? OMGNOOOO!!!!(followed by rush trip to vet and $3500 worth of kitty surgery)” and “Get down! Get down! Look at me when I’m talking to you! Don’t you hear what I’m saying?” and “Yes, let me clean your poo” and “No. I never expect to get 8 solid hours of sleep ever again.”

      But then the cats get cuddly and all is forgiven. I wonder how this will all go when the baby gets here?

  69. Cat says:

    I think having a chihuahua was worse. I loved my dog to pieces, pampered the crap out of that dog. Then I have my kids, and it becomes impossible to keep up because she starts yipping at shadows or at leaves floating by the front door. My youngest is allergic to dogs, so she now lives with my parents ahaha.

  70. DL says:

    You said it, sista!!! I feel so evil for feeling that way, too, but I’m counting down the days until she dies. What an evil animal-hating mom. And, btw, don’t forget the fleas and dander. Ugh!

  71. MamaOtter says:

    We seriously just had a hellish night here with one of our cats mistaking the floorspace under my headboard as her litter box. -.- My toddler was asleep (finally) on said bed, and I’m in the middle of morning sickness. Bad scene.

    I got up this morning and read this, and laughed until I cried. Catharsis!! 😀 *Thank* you. You described my life perfectly.

  72. Lauren says:

    Oh my god. This is about to be my life. Complete with meow alarms.

  73. Reene Hobbs says:

    I had totally different experiences with animals while raising childen. Like a lot of young couples, our first child was a cat. WE walked him on a leash, took him on vacations, and my husband even held him up and walked him around our apartment giving him “crane tours” as he called them looking for spiders. When I was pregnant, I would have those hormonal cries and my cat would climb up and put his paws around my neck and bury his head under my chin. He understood and was there for me. I could never repay him for that. My cats learned to avoid the children when they were walking or crawling around. I never felt bad about cleaning up after them either. I even had one with allergies who sneezed alot and I had to clean marks off windows and walls. I will forever be greatful for the love and companionship they gave me, something apart from the love of my children but still very precious.

  74. Amie says:

    I’ll guess I’ll be the odd one out and admit that I still love my pets just as much as before I had kids. I think I love the cat even more, now, actually. And the dogs. After a long day of dealing with the neediness of the kids, I adore that my pets curl up with me on the couch. It’s a recharge for me. And letting the dogs out at 2 am was no less annoying pre-kids than it is post-kids.

  75. Amie says:

    I had a similar thought. Truthfully, my kids are far more annoying than my pets. But I certainly don’t love them any less for it.

  76. Beth Monaghan says:

    This post made me laugh so hard I cried.

  77. Dayna says:

    This is so true. We have 2 dogs that were definitely our babies before we had our kids. Everyone warned us that we would move them down the totem pole and we didn’t believe it. My husband can’t stand them and would give them away in a heartbeat but I don’t think we could find a new owner. Feel so guilty about it too.

  78. Dayna says:

    I still love my dogs but just don’t have time to dote on them anymore like I used to. I think it will get better once the kids are older.

  79. Hannah says:

    I am another mama who still loves her dog and cat after 13 yrs and has just added a puppy to the craziness. I do agree with so much of this, and have felt the same way at times… yet I have to say that pets ARE NOT disposable. Some of you should be ashamed…

  80. Mel says:

    Wow! As much as I can relate to how everyone feels, I actually find some of this disheartening. Yeah, my cats ticked me off, got in the way, etc. but they learned, patience and love. They don’t get on the counters, they understand it’s a no-no. They know when it’s bed time and I tell them to go to their room. Sometimes they protest just like a kid who doesn’t wanna do what they are told. I find my animals no more annoying to take care of than a kid. My life and my daughter, who is now a teenager, is healthy happy and I have never had any health issues by keeping pets through all of her life, almost time for her to leave the nest and be on her own. She has respect and true love for animals and know what it means to care for that animal from the time it enters our home and leaves. She will never look at an animal and say, gee what an annoyance cause it doesn’t fit into my world, lets get rid of it. Animals are not something you love one day and then decide it doesn’t fit anymore, however I do have to conceded that sometimes they don’t fit and that is behavioral issues. Somedays I wonder why I clean up poop, puke and hair, oh yeah because I love all 6 of my cats and they bring much joy into my life, my daughters life and sometimes they do things that remind you of why you brought them in and decided to clean and care for them for the rest of their lives, even when it’s 2am and you’ve only just fell asleep.

  81. Rhonda says:

    I remember the days when it was just us and the cat. And we blew money on toys he didn’t care about. I would actually mail my mother pictures of him! Now that seems so ridiculous! When we finally moved into a house, we immediately got what we both wanted our whole lives… a dog. Now, I admit I never was totally in love with the dog. She’s a high energy dog who never stops running through the house and it took a year to house train her. Oh, and she has dietary “needs” where she must eat prescription dog food and take medication just so she doesn’t get diarrhea, which, by the way, took us a year of cleaning up after her to figure out! YUCK! But now we have 2 kids, and as bad as it sounds, I wish we didn’t have animals. The dog rips up the carpeting and barks when the boys are asleep, and the cat is always stealing their food. Even the bag of breast milk I had thawing in a bag in a bowl of water on the kitchen counter!!!

  82. Sanveann says:

    This is hysterical … are you spying on my family!?

    We have a dog and three cats. The dog is a good dog — not the sharpest crayon in the box, but he’s great with the kids. Still, I dream of a day when I don’t have to scoop poop before taking the kids in the back yard or don’t spend my days sweeping up tumbleweeds of dog hair blowing across the kitchen. Of the three cats, we only ever see one (the other two vacated to the basement — finished, btw — when the kids were born). And yes, he’s Uber Annoying Cat.

    I used to be the hugest pet lover on the planet. If you’d told me that having kids would change the way I felt about my pets, I’d have probably socked you in the jaw. But it really did … they’re not my babies anymore; they’re just pets. I still care about them, and we’ll have them as long as they live, but they’ll never be the center of my world again.

  83. Heather says:

    I still love our two in-the-house labradors dearly BUT while pregnant, their mess and my nesting are constantly at odds. One of ours occasionally leaves “butt marks” (butt stamps is exactly right!) on the toy room carpet and it drives me batty. Yeuck.

  84. annie says:

    i’m a weirdo, i guess. i have two dogs and two (satan) cats. don’t misunderstand they drive me frickin batsh*t crazy some of the time…bu they’re still my babies. Or i’m just a really awful mother who is apparently ok with my kid eating dog fur (because he does) and “helping” clean the littler box (thankfully, he’ll grab a spoon from the kitchen to dig in the box, not bare hands. and my dishwasher has a “sanitize” setting…..), and long ago decided that if the 19 month old DE-STRUC-TOR wants to yank on the cats tail…well the cat scratching him and running away is a better lesson than anything i’ll ever teach him (and yes, i immediately cleaned it out….i didn’t let it fester….calm down before you start dialing cps…..)
    and i’m not gonna lie….i love that the dogs have now added “clean up!” to the list of commands they know…after every meal, we get to yodel “dogs! clean up!” and they come scoop all the thrown down/didn’t quite make it to the mouth food…..
    like i said….guess i’m just a wierdo……

  85. sara says:

    I have to say, I don’t fully agree with this one. I’m more likely to get annoyed that the toddler FLIPS OUT if the dog comes within 5 feet of him. Multiple times a day I have to remind him that we all live in this house together, and need to get along. Besides, the dog doesn’t poop on the floor. Or throw tantrums. And eats whatever I feed her without complaint. And cleans up any food that gets dropped on the floor so I don’t have to.

  86. Courtney says:

    YES! Before I was pregnant, we had some friends who told of their sister-in-law needing to get rid of her cat and dog because the baby had come along. We were SO smug about it after they left, looking lovingly at our cats, knowing that having a baby wouldn’t change our love for them.

    Fast forward 18-ish months and we have our sweet baby boy, and all of a sudden – the hair! the vomit! the poop (outside of the litter box)! the doors we have to close because they’ll shut themselves in! the nice leather couch we have to keep covered because they’ll claw it!

    Yes, all of these things were present before the baby arrived, but I think with all of the new responsibilities that come along with being a parent, I didn’t have the patience for the cats any longer. We gave them back to the rescue agency when our son was about 6 months old. And now we have a clean, quiet house (at least, when the baby isn’t “talking”!) and we’re all much more content.

    I don’t wish ill-will on the cats; I hope they find another loving home, but I would have resented them for the rest of their lives, and they’re relatively young (4 & 5)!

  87. DrM says:

    I never got the impression that you hated your cats. You talked about them with the same annoyed affection as you do your children. It’s a sad reflection on our educational system that some people can’t recognize sarcasm when they read it!

    I have two dogs that always seem to bark at the most inopportune times (like, naptime), and I yell at them in a whisper (if that’s even possible!), “Shut up! Or I will KILL YOU!” But I love them dearly. And I know I am teaching my son to love animals, too.

    • Teddy says:

      Oh, I totally remember the whispered threats to the dogs! Now I whisper threats to my kids when they act up in public (which they ALWAYS do)!

  88. SharMum says:

    This made me laugh until I got tears!

  89. Paula says:

    I could have written this myself.. My oh my nice to see I’m not alone!!

  90. Sonora says:

    Hahahahaha! This is too funny. I have a cat too and I had to laugh so hard at the part about cats not wearing underwear. It never occurred to me until I had babies either. I don’t allow my cat in any of my kid’s rooms and I lock her in the basement at night. Before you think me too cold hearted, I have 4 kids, 3 of of which are 3 years old and under so sleep is too precious to give up to a loud cat. Love your blog!

  91. Eryn says:

    You know that when you are sleeping, your cats rub their assholes on your lips, right?

  92. Eryn says:

    Holy Psychotic Cat Ladies, Batman. It must be nice being the kind of holier-than-thou snob who is never, ever annoyed by anything, ever.
    The VAST majority of people who consider their pets their “babies” rethink that a bit once they have actual babies. As a mother of both people and pets, whom I happen to love dearly, there are occasions when they both annoy the shit out of me at times. Doesn’t mean I don’t love my pets, but if it came down to my child versus one of my animals, I’m damn well going to choose my child, because no matter what you may think, animals are not actually babies.
    You don’t think an animal would do the same? It’s instinctual. Your child >everything else. Period. Being annoyed at ones pets from time to time does not make someone an evil hateful person. If all you cat lovers out there can’t see that, you people need help.

  93. Laura says:

    You, I believe, do love your cats. But a lot of these comments are making me absolutely sick.

  94. Jen says:

    We have a 6 week old and while the mess associated with the cats (we have 3) does make me a bit crazy sometimes I still love my cats, and so does my husband. I guess I’m in the minority in the comments which is sad. I’m actually happy the baby is sleeping better in his bassinet now so my 13 year old cat can sleep next to me like he used to. Yes they are a lower priority than before but I still care about them and their happiness. I volunteered for years at a shelter (and still plan to once things settle down more at home) and never got why people got rid of their pets after having a kid (with the exception of aggression or severe allergies). Actually people often do it while they’re pregnant. We always had pets growing up and I feel bad for people that didn’t. Yes they annoy me more than before but I’m not waiting for them to die or wishing I could get rid of them. That being said one is 19 years old and when she goes there won’t be another 3rd cat.

  95. catladyturnedmom says:

    I thought this was hilarious.

    I’m also annoyed by my cats now and while I always was annoyed I think the difference is just htat I have less time and patience for it now? Probably the same for many of us I’d imagine?

    I still love them just like you so nobody needs to tell me what a horrible person I am or that I shouldn’t have had children. Sheesh, some of the comments are really scary.

    As for the moms who said they are waiting for them to die and the ones wanting to rehome the cats, well that is sad. I’d never do that.

  96. Nance says:

    OK. People are obviously freaking out over other comments and not the actual cartoon, which I thought was hilarious. I get it now.

  97. MamaJessie says:

    Whenever I wash a load of clothes my long haired cat finds it and lays in it. Her favorite clothes of all to sleep in are baskets of baby clothes. Blarg.

  98. I really love the part about getting the kids to bed and the cats immediately descending upon you. I get so irritated because when I pee (like twice a day), I get into the bathroom, yank my pants down and get excited for 30 seconds of alone time. Immediately I can hear the cat leaping and running, and instantly he is on my lap while I’m on the toilet. I really can’t even pee alone.

  99. Marta says:

    Hilarious (obviously). We have a dog, that we loved, bought things for, even made a calendar of his photos. Then we had a baby and he was much less than interesting. Then instead of a second baby we got a second dog (bad idea) in an effort to keep first dog company. Then we had a second baby. And now we have two kids and two annoying dogs =)

  100. PETAmom says:

    This post is so right on, I have a cat and two dogs and they annoy me up the wall sometimes but I’d never normally admit this or they’d revoke my PETA membership. lol

    But to the people waiting for their pets to die – that does make me nauseaus. But so does reading all the other angry comments. Take a deep breath. Step away from the computer and go hug your babies or fur babies.

  101. Robin says:

    Breaks my heart, my cats are my babies and annoy me but humans (and children) are far more annoying I think.

  102. says:

    I haven’t read any comments above or seen any of the negative ones you referred to in your update but PLEASE don’t let a handful of humorless wet blankets stifle your creativity . I also have two cats (14 and 10), love them to death but have recoiled in horror as my 3 year happily discovers a sopping wet hairball on the floor or when he or my 1 year old get too close to the litter box. Doesnt mean i don’t love my cats, but I’m way more particular about my babies! Your blog had me dying laughing. Please don’t change a thing. Most of us get the joke, some people never will!

  103. Nats says:

    You are without a doubt, the shallowest person. Ever. You repulse me on a level unlike I have ever know. May your children never know your level of abandon.

  104. Karmaiscoming says:

    Candy, you are a bitch. Cats that lived inside need to be rehomed to an INDOOR home. Way to leave them where they can be killed by disease, famine, predators and cars.

    I hope when you become inconvenient someone does the same to you.

  105. Karmaiscoming says:

    I wonder how all of you “now I hate my stupid animals” people feel about your parents? Do they live in a care facility? Do you bother to visit (I doubt it!)

    Honestly, yes the animals add to the chaos, but I love them just as much as my daughter. My mother lives with us and needs help, so should I “get rid” of her too? Guess what, suck it up, deal with it and GET OVER IT. YOU chose the life you have. My dog, my cats, my mom AND my kid are a lot of responsibility, but it’s the life I chose and that’s all there is to it.

    You ladies need to put on your big girl panties and figure it out.

  106. Karmaiscoming says:

    Last comment – this is a really cheap rip off of Hyperbole and a Half, which is much more entertaining AND compassionate.

  107. Anonymous says:

    Are you serious? How can you be such a monster? If you don’t have the patience to take care of a small pet then what are you doing with a child? To say something so cruel and heartless makes me question your abilities not only as a pet owner but as a parent also.

  108. Anonymous says:

    Thank you. Very touching to read when someone knows what family and showing love really means. Bravo!

  109. Anonymous says:

    Having pets should teach you to be loving before you have children, not turn you evil for wishing them dead. I had my cat before my daughter, she would jump in the crib with her. It was so sweet to see her be so protective and loving towards a human baby.

  110. Rachel says:

    Wow, there are some seriously crazy pet owners out there. This was funny. And I don’t care what those crazy cat ladies think, humans are more important than pets. Maybe it would be best to humanely kill the unwanted pets and then eat them 😉

  111. Dawn says:

    There is a BIG difference between posting that you’re annoyed with your cat (which is totally normal) and a lot of these hateful, cruel comments that resulted.

  112. Karmaiscoming says:

    WOW You have gone through and deleted EVERY post that disagreed with you!

    You need some big girl panties. Grow up.

  113. Karmaiscoming says:

    Retracting last post. Typepad and my browser apparently went back a few hours or something. My Bad.

  114. Ginger says:


  115. Sue in NC says:

    I don’t have cats, but we have dogs. They are annoying sometimes: like barking like lunatics when the UPS guy comes (and the baby is finally napping) but I would NEVER trade them in for the world! My 3 yr old LOVES dogs because of them, they make my 6 month old baby smile and laugh just by walking by, and they bring us joy. Saying you “Can’t wait for the pet to die” is so evil I can’t even fathom it.
    So if you have a kid from a first marriage, then get another baby with a second husband….will you hate your first kid because he/she is not from “this” marriage? I am not getting it. Not at all. I hope all you mean people will NEVER own any animals again. HORRIBLE! And what a TERRIBLE example you are setting for your children….they pick up on everything, you all should know. Soooooo disgusted right now from all these bad comments on here.

  116. R.Rissler says:

    When I was a kid, my parents had a dog that they absolutely doted on. They’d had the dog long before any of us kids were born, and their love for him never changed with addition of children. What I gained from watching my parents with that dog was an understanding that there is always enough love to go around if you want there to be. I also learned how to cherish and respect other living beings. I’m saddened to think that your child will never learn any of that. Instead, he will grow up believing that animals are disposable and that love is something you have to compete for. What you are doing to your cat is incredibly cruel and trying to assuage your guilt by trying to get others to agree with you is appalling. You should be ashamed of your actions and of your unwillingness to take responsibility for them.

  117. Amanda says:

    hahaha. a few months before my son was born i updated my facebook account about our cats (something that i used to frequently do – yes, i am that person) and my cousin (who had a one year old at the time) made a comment something like “make sure you give them a lot of attention now, they won’t get any when the little one is born!” and i remember thinking, no way! i love my cats! i will just cuddle them when the baby goes to sleep!

    wow. i was definitely wrong. everything you described happens. we also have the one where our younger cat will run into the baby’s room right after i get him to sleep and hide in there for attention. now i have to make sure my husband is holding her when i put the baby to sleep.

  118. Thank-you for posting this. For the longest time (er, exactly 18 months and 4 days)I’ve been suffering from exactly the same love/hate relationship with our cats and thought maybe it was just me being heartless.

    They were the apple of our eye before our daughter came along….but very soon after things changed. They became the apple of our daughter’s eye (boy, does she LOVE those cats or what?) but very quickly became the bane of existence, well, mine, mostly.

    Hubby didn’t really understand it at first – but there’s nothing worse than finally getting your kid down for a hard fought after nap, only to have those darn furballs all of a sudden decide that their nap time is over and it’s time to PLAAAAAAAAAY! Rather than just trying to relax during nap time, I’m stuck trying to keep the cats away from the bedroom so my daughter sleeps.

    And the mornings, when my daughter briefly wakes up at 6 o’clock in the morning for milkies. After nursing, she normally rolls over, snuggles with her father and goes back to sleep until around 8am. Unless the cats decide 6 o’clock in the morning is the perfect time to be fed (rather than waiting an hour or two) and sit scratching and meowing at our bedroom door. Daughter bolts upright in bed screaming and pointing at the door in glee – “KITTTTEEEEEEHS!!!!!!!!!!” and there’s no way in hell she’s going back to sleep, husband stealthy pulls pillow over his head and plays dead and I’m nearly always the one who has to drag my sorry, dead tired butt out of bed and hang out with my daughter, drinking a gazillion cups of coffee to wake me up.

    With that said though – we do love our cats and our daughter probably loves them more (I’m convinced she was crawling at 5.5 months and walking/running at 8.5 months to chase after them for cuddles – seriously) and they live a good life….just with a bit more yelling and scruffing around nap times.

  119. AngieS says:

    LOL Oh goodness, my dog is so annoying. I mean I love him to death but holy hell why does he need to bark like an attack dog the moment the 2 year old falls asleep? This made me laugh out loud.

  120. Nichole says:

    I was the same way about the cat after the kids were born. The poor thing became background noise for awhile. Now that the kids are a little older and more self-sufficient, though, she’s regained her pedestal entirely. Because she’s soft and cuddly, and she doesn’t talk back.

  121. whatevs1977 says:

    I so get this. I’m looking forward to an animal free home as well, one day. Less mess, less zoo-like scent.. There was nothing about your tongue-in-cheek post that made me ‘question your abilities as a pet owner’ OR as a parent. That’s just ridiculous. Some people have no sense of humour and/or aren’t smart enough to grasp the satirical tone.

  122. Yes animals are more annoying once you have kids.

  123. MamaJ says:

    Great discussion; love this site! Believe me when I say I understand; please trust me when I tell you that you will someday miss even this craziness! I am a mother and grandmother…raised and launched a brood of children along with their associated pets (a plethora of cats, dogs, hamsters, turtles, fish and birds became part of our family). There is a more important lesson for us….being responsible for these small critters (humanoid, furry or feathered) isn’t easy, but you can choose to grow with it. Let’s all hope the compassion you demonstrate in front of your kids will be reflected in what they pass on to their own future families. Let’s hope that they also return to you with the same level of understanding and unconditional love when you become the one who cannot live unassisted (and, yes, even when you puke on the floor.) Love & Peace!

  124. Bad Cat Mother says:

    Oh God. It’s so sad. But true. *Especially* the bit about underpants!!!

  125. righthook38 says:

    “Cats don’t wear underwear. They should.”

    That is hilarious! Funny story!

    My daughter desperately wants a dog, but these stories are exactly why I don’t want one! Not to mention the fact that *I* will be doing all the work, despite the children’s promises of taking care of it. Yeah, that’s gonna happen…

  126. jessturtle says:

    I was raised to love all animals, but when my cat went nuts on my husband and I when I was pregnant, then attempted to jump on our newborn while hissing and yowling, I had to make a decision. I tried to give her to a friend who loved animals, but she hissed and spit and tried to attack her. I was devastated, I felt awful. I had rescued her and raised her and loved her. Well, my husband finally said, what is more important, your son or your cat? Well, the answer is obvious. No one could touch the cat, she hated my son and couldn’t be touched by anyone else. The vet said that she may have just coincidentally gone nuts. We had to put her to sleep. I still feel sad, but know it was the right thing to do.
    There is a point when you have to choose between a pet and a child and the pet should NEVER take precedence. Obviously you should try to find that pet a home.
    Honestly, I think a lot of people don’t realize how much work having human children is, and they think they will have plenty of time and energy for everything. I thought about getting a kitten, one that could grow with our son, but I am glad that I didn’t because I wouldn’t have had the energy to give the cat what they needed. My son was colicky, I got no sleep, it was all I could do to get up in the morning and I can’t imagine how hard it would have been with a cat to take care of, too. We are waiting to get a pet when our sons are older, whe. We’ll have the time and energy to give them.

  127. sk says:

    Hahahahahaha!!!! Awesome 🙂

  128. My dog belongs to my husband and starting last spring he has had to work out of state. Now it is just me, the toddler, and the great dane- that lives in the house….. I have NEVER been a pet person and when I did have pets growing up they lived outside. This has been VERY difficult for me as he is an OLD great dane… he is 8. I was told they would live to 7…….. I am so OVER the falling, the blood, the vomit, and pooping in the house!! I thought I was the ONLY one that was just waiting for my dog to die… I cry a lot because I am so frustrated. I was so happy to see this tonight and realize I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE!!!

  129. A. Nony. Mouse. says:

    Thank you, Mama. One of the few reasonable comments I’ve seen here.

    People who call their pets (or treat them like) “children” are just sad. Animals are not people!

  130. A. Nony. Mouse. says:

    When you were 19, did you know what you wanted out of your life, did you have your life planned, for when you reached 28 or 30 or 32?

    If you did, good for you. Most of us don’t have that ability to see the future. Can you give me some lottery numbers?

  131. A. Nony. Mouse. says:

    Right on, Eryn. I believed we’d have our cat for the entirety of her life. I didn’t know we’d have a child. I didn’t know that 11 years into her life, that cat would threaten the safety of our child.

    You’re exactly right when you say children are more important than animals. It’s a simple equation. And most people disagreeing with that notion don’t have children. So they cannot possibly understand.

  132. A. Nony. Mouse. says:

    Do you think any of us who had to get rid of a cat did so “gleefully”??

    That isn’t it at all. It was among the 5 worst days of my life. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do it again in the same circumstances.

    I don’t know about you, but I can’t predict the future. I didn’t know that 11 years after I got my cat, I’d have a baby. I didn’t know that at 11 years old, the cat would be pretty unfriendly, especially to children, and threaten the safety of my baby.

    If you can predict the future, good for you. Most of us can’t.

  133. A. Nony. Mouse. says:

    Untrue. Because unlike many of you in these comments, my child will have a reasonable perspective on the world.

    It’s not that I’ll raise her to think pets are disposable, or to be treated inhumanely. But she will understand that pets are not children. Animals are not people.

    I wonder how many of you, who are so passionately defending animals, EAT them on a regular basis. Any of you who aren’t vegetarians are hypocrites.

  134. A. Nony. Mouse. says:

    “Never?” You wouldn’t rehome or give away your cats if they posed a threat to the safety of your child?

    I hope that’s not what you meant. If it is, that is truly sad.

  135. A. Nony. Mouse. says:

    These commenters like Dawn who don’t have children simply don’t have the perspective to understand why animals aren’t as important as people.

    Why people like this are reading a PARENTING BLOG, I simply don’t understand.

  136. A. Nony. Mouse. says:

    Animals aren’t people; how I deal with animals has nothing to do with how I deal with fellow human beings.

    If you really, truly, positively love your animals AS MUCH AS you love your daughter, that is just sad. You should love a child, a flesh-and-blood human being, more than you love an animal. Much more.

    If you really meant that they are equivalent in your heart, you are seriously messed up.

    G-d forbid if you had to run into a burning building and could only save one of them, I hope you’d make the right choice. If you’d even have to think about it for a second, you never should have had a child.

  137. A. Nony. Mouse. says:

    Rachel, you’re exactly right. Why childless people like Dawn are reading a parenting blog, I don’t know. But they can’t possibly understand.

    I also wonder how many of these pet-lovers eat other animals on a daily basis. That seems pretty hypocritical to me.

  138. A. Nony. Mouse. says:

    Guess what, MC — people are more important than animals!!! I know you can’t wrap your demented mind around it, but it’s true!!!

  139. A. Nony. Mouse. says:

    No one here would suggest getting rid of children, because we understand that people are more important than animals.

    Or, maybe most of us do. You say that your kids and your dogs have an “equal place in your heart.” If true, that’s just said. Animals aren’t people.

  140. A. Nony. Mouse. says:

    “And to the lady who sees her dog differently after it nipped at her baby ~ that’s no different than a child being jealous of a new sibling.”

    OMG, you can’t possibly be serious. First of all, a child being jealous isn’t a danger to the baby. Unless the child bites the baby.

    And secondly, ANIMALS AREN’T PEOPLE!!! If it comes down to the safety of a child over the welfare of an animal, there shouldn’t be any discussion!!!

  141. A. Nony. Mouse. says:

    As you know, you did exactly the right thing. Many of the childless commenters here can’t possibly understand. But the safety and welfare of a child is much more important than the welfare of an animal.

    You were devastated, you tried to find her another home, what more could you do? Again, people > animals. Simpe.

  142. A. Nony. Mouse. says:

    OMG. Please don’t refer to your cat as “the oldest kid” or the “kitty brother.” ANIMALS ARE NOT PEOPLE, PETS ARE NOT YOUR CHILDREN!

  143. Alibongo says:

    Wow, dont know what this says about me, but I LOVE my dog. Maybe its the fact that I have 4 children, but a dog is so much easier to look after than they are. It doesn’t throw toys all over the floor, it doesn’t fight, it doesn’t keep wanting me to buy stuff, it doesn’t draw with permanent pens over its body/furniture, it doesn’t have tantrums over everything….I could go on, but I won’t. My lovely dog listens to me, I don’t have to raise my voice, finishes its dinner, heck it would finish all of our dinners given the chance. Sometimes it even helps me clean the toddler poop up. Maybe the answer is to have children first (preferably lots) THEN go get a pet and bingo, you will feel the same as me. I sometimes think about rehoming the children, but the dog…never!

    Oh get over yourselves, I was joking about rehoming the children ;o)

  144. Sarcastic is my middle name says:

    Sarcasm people, look it up in the dictionary or don’t read this site. Go spread your hate somewhere else. This is supposed to be (and was spot on) funny!

    Some people really have no sense of humor. I do feel sorry for them but I also want them to go away.

  145. Supbetch says:

    I agree with, and have experienced everything in this post. I have 3 indoor-only cats… but I love them to bits, despite their ways being annoying in the context of kids (I have 4!). They are cats, and they behave like cats. I like cats. I don’t like dogs, so I don’t have one.

    I may exasperatedly yell “FFS, CAT!” on a semi-regular basis, but I have never, ever ‘wished for them to die’. Goddamn, that’s some nasty-ass venom right there.

    Having said all that, if I had a pet with a personality that didn’t gel with our household, I wouldn’t hesitate to responsibly rehome it. I’ve actually been down this road, and I have no regrets about it.

  146. Do I get points for not poisoning them? 😉

  147. joy says:

    I thought the blog post was hilarious. The comments are ridiculous!!

  148. I’ve never owned a cat; we got one cat when we were 7 and 9 and she grew up with us and we loved her.

    We had three dogs and adored them and treated them like children. One died of natural causes (old age) and we had two poodles when baby 1 came home. Poodle 1 (Nicky) was also blind. I chased him around trying to help him and chased the toddler. Then Baby 2 came and we had two poodle and two babies. And I worked full time. It was all just fine, really. The kids were never left alone with the dogs. Nor were the dogs ignored. I knocked out all the walls in our old ranch house and the kids played in the LR while the dogs were with me in the DR-now-computer room or vice versa…We all had great times together and we taught the kids how to treat animals and…well, the kids adored the dogs and vice versa. One dog died of old age when the kids were 6 and 4 and then the other dog died when the kids were 7 and 5.

    We took a 2 year break and adopted a rescue poodle when the kids were 7 and 9, and another rescue dog when the kids were 9 and 11. They promised to take care of both dogs.

    And they do, while we supervise, of course. It has helped them mature greatly and I feel they will be better adults and responsible people when they grow up. They feed, walk, and potty trained (with our instructions) both dogs. Right now the kids and the dogs are all taking a Sunday afternoon nap on one of the kids’ beds together. They all adore each other and we consider ourselves one big happy family.

    Kids are work; dogs are work; the hand loomed Bukkhara (sp?) rug and white sofa I inherited from my aunt who had no pets and no children will never be the same (but carpets can be steam cleaned and sofas can be recovered). I don’t regret a single moment.

    The dogs go with us everywhere unless it is too hot. We just got back from a week at the beach in a pet friendly condo. The dogs had a blast swimming in the tidal waves after 6:00 PM when it was legal to take the on the beach. We kept them on leash at all times too of course….

    Last year we even took the pet African frogs to the beach with us! A friend took care of them this year.

    I love them all, and we make it work. That’s all. I could not have lived with myself if I had given away or neglected our pets. We made it work with 2 parents supervising every second of interaction until the kids were old enough to understand how to act properly with the dogs.

    I don’t consider myself a saint, in fact, I’m pretty crabby sometimes. But I look back and it just doesn’t seem that hard. The kids learned to sleep through yapping dogs. But that doorbell? Far more hassle than the dogs.

  149. Brooke says:

    Ok, so I’m not completely qualified on this one since I’m still pregnant for another week or two, but I’ll have to say our two dogs have been invaluable for preparing me for motherhood. When we brought our first home, she had a stomach virus that caused her to shoot liquid green poo all into the speakers of my car. Guess who got to clean that out with a billion little q-tips? Then came the explosive diarrhea, where she would poop and walk so that I had to clean three feet of poop lines on the carpet. Then I brought my boxer puppy home. Somehow during potty training she learned that peeing on the floor was bad, so she’d jump on the furniture to pee! Argh! Now they’re both great. And I’ve been desensitized to poo, pee, vomit, watching my favorite/most expensive personal items destroyed, and know to keep random small objects out of reach. Because even though it may not seem appetizing to you, it will find its way into one mouth or another!

    Here’s hoping they helped to better equip me for parenting. And that they love the hell outta my little girl like they do us!

  150. Hope Turtle says:

    I can’t read any comments past your addendum but really enjoyed the post. And cats just do all that stuff cause their cats and they can… This applies to baby-stuff too. Best of luck…

  151. I still love my pug…she’s so cute. She doesn’t get as many walks as she used to, but she still gets lots of love. I’m not really a cat person anyway, so they do sound annoying!! ;o)

  152. Beeb says:


    Really? Do you have anything else of interest to say?

    There are many view points and discussion going on but you can’t seem get get passed this one liner.

  153. Maria says:

    I have 2 cats and a baby…and I still LURV my cats….they are awesome, they still love me when the baby is screaming her head off. They love the baby, they love to watch baby einstein, they love to play with baby toys. Maybe I am just lucky and have been blessed with awesome cats. Some of you people do not deserve the love of a pet. shame on you. yeah, they can be a bit annoying, but we need to remember that they were our first “babies”, and they love us and depend on us.

  154. Philosoraptor says:

    I couldn’t have said it any better myself, Anonymous. Let’s hope the children of these people grow up to be more compassionate than the heartless assholes raising them. And to the writer of this blog, congratulations on winning the hypocrisy lottery.

  155. Anonymous says:

    Oh, sweet sweet irony.

    All these things you complain about your pets doing? Kids do the same shit. Instead of barking or meowing, they cry. They shit, they piss, they drool, they puke. And god forbid someone, especially someone without kids, complain about how gross or annoying these things are-they are met with an outcry of “But they’re just baaaaaaabies, they can’t help it!”

    Your pet can’t help it, either, asshole. If you can’t handle the responsibility of having a pet with a fraction of the life span of a human being, you have no goddamn business having children, either.

  156. Johari says:

    lol, this is so true. I love my critters a lot… I have one dog, three cats and two ferrets. One of the most annoying things about the cats is as SOON as the kid is in bed, they all decide it’s prime time to jump in MY lap. Like that is really what I want them to do!

    But I love them and life would suck without them.

  157. Tater Tot says:

    I read this blog, and about died laughing. I have felt almost EXACTLY the same way.

    I have 4 cats, and yes, they annoy the hell out of me sometimes. Just as the neighbor does, when he’s mowing the lawn, or building a deck, or when a car drives by with the base thumping. Basically, I feel momentary hatred towards ANYTHING that might wake my 3 or 1 year olds. HOWEVER, I made a commitment to these animals and by golly I will honor it. Yes, it sometimes seems like I don’t have an ounce of energy to clean up that 5th pile of vomit for the day, or wash the bathroom rug AGAIN after being peed on, or vacuum 3 times a day to keep up with all the pet hair, but I love my pets, and I love my kids, and I want my kids to understand how to be gentle to all living animals. I also want them to learn that when you make a commitment to something you honor it, even when it is frustrating, and aggravating. That is how life works.

    It is amazing to me that there is a solution to almost every pet problem out there, you just need to research it and put in a little time. Unless your cat is seriously crazy, scratching the eyes out of anyone who comes near, and you have no way of segregating the cat from your kids then the whole “I’m protecting my children” idea is just an excuse. Quit lying and admit that the animals are not a priority to you, and THAT is why you want to get rid of them.

    My kids have been surrounded by 4 cats and all their filth, since they were born, and they are NEVER sick (besides a cold like once a year). They don’t have allergies, or asmtha, and have never even had an ear infection between the two of them. I know it’s gross sometimes, but seriously? What are the cats really gonna do to your kids? Both of my kids have found the vomit pile first, and they have both taste tested said vomit…ONCE. I about died from disgust, and dreamed of having a vomit free home, yet they never did it again. They both come running to me when they find it now…”Mommy! Cat pukes!”

    It has been hectic, but worth it. My 3 year old is completely attached to one of our kitties and can’t sleep without her. A bond for life. And they both are sooo gentle when we are at other people’s homes, with their pets, and their babies as well. These are lessons that are worth dealing with some scratched up couches, stained carpet, and pet hair for.

  158. I Call B.S. says:

    You sound like a broken record. We get your stance already. I’m curious though, did your old, frail cat somehow hold a knife to your child’s throat or something equally heinous that truly “threatened their safety”? This sounds like a gross exaggeration, and frankly, a way to make yourself feel better.

    Think about this: animal shelters are so short of funds that untrained workers euthanize them. They struggle to find veins, give them a paralytic but don’t sedate them. The animal is then injected with the medication to stop it’s heart and cease it’s breathing. It is awake for all of this, scared, and it feels like fire is coursing through it’s veins as it dies. You did that to your cat, in reality, because you just didn’t want to deal with it anymore, and not because they threatened your child’s safety I’m sure. So if you don’t feel like a cruel, cold, evil cow for doing that to your poor cat, YOU SHOULD!

  159. Kris says:

    Did I write this? I would have thought so but you left off the part about cleaning up cat hair and the extra bonus of the baby eating cat poop.

    I’m not even going to read the other comments, I totally get it…(our cats are even the same color!)

  160. Julie says:

    Seriously, what bothers you about this? The fact that some people treat their animals as more than just conveniences? That they consider them members of the family? Criticizing other people’s views of their pets doesn’t make your decision to dump yours any better.

  161. PJBoosinger says:

    After skimming through the comments, I am absolutely ashamed of the current crop of parents out there. Properly raised pets get along just fine with properly raised children. The problem here is with the “adults” who raised the animals and the children thinking that both are their for them instead of understanding that all are sharing life.

  162. Verjean says:

    Satire is a lost art. So sorry for all the hate. I “got” it. Quite entertaining. Never for a moment did I believe that you didn’t love your cats. I raised two boys with cats AND large dogs. There were days I didn’t want the cats, days I didn’t want the dogs, and days I didn’t want the boys. And god knows, I’m sure there were days they didn’t want me. What we want, and what we do, are NOT always the same. And what we “share” with others as satirical humor about every day human experience is certainly NOT what we “DO”. I “get” it. Quite obviously, many of your readers didn’t. This is like saying that you have to give your baby up because you just got a new puppy. Satire, folks…satire. Humor, funny, ha ha…satire uses both in reference to every day human weaknesses and foibles to make us THINK or simply to share the experience of being human! But what I do notice is the ability of individuals to think and say such hateful things hiding behind an “anonymous” identity.

  163. Carrie says:

    HA HA spot on.

  164. Suzie says:

    I feel your pain. I love my dog but I see her differently now. The worst, most disgusting thing is that she tries to lick anything with spitup on it.

  165. herselftheelf says:

    Exactly Beeb- that A.Non.Ymous whatever lady is crazy. I have two dogs and a 16 month old that likes to get into everything… including dog food. The dogs eat his poopy diapers if I don’t have a lock on the garbage. They race into the house straight for the high chair licking it end to end. Their barking drives me mad when it wakes up the baby. Sigh. I would NEVER EVER give them up though. They are my responsibility and I do care about my baby more but I still love them, even though they get banished outside more than my family would like :). But I chalk it all up to building the kiddo’s immune system. Right? Right?

    WE ARE ANIMALS and that lady who took her cat to the shelter should be ashamed of her lack of compassion, her lack of understanding, herself and her actions. Period. A little patience, understanding and proper introductions between baby and cat would have gone a long ways.

  166. herselftheelf says:

    People are animals. Holy bad education. I am annoyed by my dogs on a daily basis. But the love and lessons my son will learn from there far surpass any mere “annoyances” I have with them. I feel sad for you and your children A.Nony.Mouse.

  167. herselftheelf says:

    This makes me so, so sad.

  168. herselftheelf says:

    I have no idea what you mean by “equal”… it’s really sad that you are spouting this stuff and probably teaching it to your children. Teaching a child about the value of life is MORE IMPORTANT than you being annoyed. You seem very sad and I think you must be quite young…

  169. herselftheelf says:

    I wonder what “danger” a geriatric cat had to your child… perhaps your temper and cold-heartedness is the real danger in your family.

  170. brillopad says:

    Barking dogs should be put down. No one has the right to annoy their neighbors with their damn dog.

  171. Anne says:

    This is totally hilarious! I was laughing so hard I had tears rolling down my face. By the by I read this as the innocent venting joke. I love my cats so much but sometimes they are indeed annoying. Butt Stamp…..BAhhahahah! Awesome!

  172. STIS says:

    Pets are so lame. I hate them. I killed my wife’s dog and let her think he ran away.

    • Jane says:

      Yeah I did the same with my cat after it wouldn’t stop being a little bitch and just scared of fucking everything. So fucking annoying. Then it started pissing all over itself on the regular and so it was time for it to die. Oh well. Now it’s gone.

  173. Um, hello.

    I just started following your blog,
    LOVE IT!

    I think all the people being mean to you should shut up, if they don’t like it they can leave 🙂

    I like your ‘crappy pictures’ and I’m sure they take a lot of time and effort! 🙂

  174. Kristi says:

    When your pet hurts your child, you are by all means not in the wrong to get rid of it, in the best way possible to you. (not by dumping it in the street, but the way you mentioned, while not ideal, works) Not only does this NOT make you a terrible person, it makes you a good mom.

  175. veggielover says:

    Are you serious? Or was that a pitiful attempt at being funny? All animals need to communicate. A dog barking is a perfectly normal behavior, just as a human being speaking is. All dogs need to bark. What a sad, miserable, hate-filled life you must live, constantly look for ways to be offended. You are CHOOSING to be annoyed.

  176. Kitty says:

    We had an old cat that was not so clean when I was little and I got toxoplasmosis poisoning from it. I was very sick an hospitalized needing my lymph nodes drained. I have a large scar on my jaw from this. So I can sympathize with the parents not so keen on keeping their cats with small children around, it can be dangerous. In fact Toxoplasmosis is what you should be avoiding when pregnant.

  177. oilandgarlic says:

    Count me in with the heartless pet owner group…I even wrote a post about “sometimes hating my dogs”. I know some people found your thoughts offensive but yeah, sometimes I hate having dogs!

  178. Alligator says:

    I agree. We had 3 cats when our fist was born. One of them has since passed on (due to old age). But, one of the cats decided he really hated our daughter. I mean hated her. He started doing everything he could to show his displeasure. What finally did it for me was when he went in and peed on her WHILE SHE WAS SLEEPING!

    Now, luckily I had a friend who was looking for a cat and they are now best of friends. But as much as I love that cat, when it came to my daughter’s welfare, I wasn’t going to allow that sort of behavior in my house.

    We still have one though, and he is good with the kids and we love having him around.

  179. Your butt smells says:

    You people DISGUST me. How is it that you can call yourselves good parents when you can’t even bother to take care of your animals, who were there before your snot-nosed, poopy-diaper, puking children? My parents were TERRIBLE pet owners, and I was left to care for 2 cats and 3 dogs as an 11 year-old child. My parents NEVER took our animals to the vet, unless it was to be put down.

    As an adult, I have 6 year old, 2 year old, and 10 month old cat, as well as a 7 month old dog. They give me more love, affection, and pride than any child EVER could. I vet them properly, feed them well, and socialize with them every day. If you’re not prepared to give an animal a FOREVER and LOVING home, don’t bother adopting them in the first place.

    I hate to break it to you, but your children cost far more and create more destruction than any animal ever will. PLEASE SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR ANIMALS TO PREVENT FURTHER NEGLECTED ANIMALS!!!

    • kristi says:

      I think its absolutely great that you have chosen not to have children…a choice every person has the right to make.
      But to say that you cats give you more love and affection than any child ever could. Just asking, but how exactly would you know that given you have made the choice not to have children. Seriously people..this blog is about injecting humor and satire into everyday life with children. Sarcasm….look it up! You can find the definition in any dictionary..printed or online. This is a blog. She is not telling people how to think or act. She is just humorously trying to tell her own stories and she is succeeding! I have one small suggestion for those that cannot grasp the concept of sarcasm, irony and satire…Read something else. Something not pee in your pants laugh worthy. That might be a little more up your alley.

      • Keem says:

        Horray Kristi!

      • Anne Christian Buchanan says:

        Um, my dictionary defines sarcasm as “1 : a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance *designed to cut or give pain.* 2 a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on *bitter, caustic,* and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual.” I’m the kind of person who enjoys a certain amount of sarcasm, but what I read in the original post was humor and hyperbole, not necessarily sarcasm.

  180. Your butt smells says:

    Perhaps your parents should have been more responsible about cleaning the litter box. It was NOT your cat’s fault that you got sick.

  181. Your butt smells says:

    You do realize that’s her natural instinct and that it’s what she would do for her own pups if they spit up?

  182. Your butt smells says:

    I couldn’t agree with you more!

  183. Your butt smells says:

    Wonderful! You’re a good pet owner AND parent. 🙂

  184. Your butt smells says:


  185. Your butt smells says:

    Aww! Love your story.

  186. Your butt smells says:

    I agree. I once took in a cat from a co-worker who was crazy. She was jealous, always breaking things, and woke me up at least 4 times a night. I kept her for a year, and waited an entire 4 months on the wait list at the no-kill shelter until they were able to take her in. I now have another cat from the same shelter, and he’s such a sweetheart.

  187. Your butt smells says:

    Something tells me you’ll feel the same when it’s your own father who is old, falling, vomiting, and pooping in the house…

  188. Your butt smells says:

    You are a responsible parent and pet owner. Your cat was obviously miserable and no longer had quality of life. Kudos to you for being responsible enough to realize that adopting another cat while raising your child was going to be too much stress for you.

  189. Your butt smells says:

    Couldn’t have said it better myself, MamaJ!

  190. Amber H says:

    Ok, so if they are serious, I agree, it is horrible to say that a dog should be put down for barking. It’s an issue with the owner, not the dog. That being said, they aren’t “choosing” to be annoyed. Listening to a dog bark from 8pm until 3 in the morning is annoying as hell, period (yep, I get to deal with this ALL the time & the neighbors are *****). BUT, that’s not a dog issue, it’s an issue of inconsiderate people not putting their dogs inside at a reasonable hour.
    Anyone that can listen to that amount of barking non-stop & “choose” to not be annoyed is a saint. Or crazy ;P

  191. Amber H says:

    However you feel about the decision, to say that they should be dropped off somewhere to be put down doesn’t really make you any better (or anyone else above saying the same stuff).
    Just sayin…

    And, while I don’t agree with the decision to give the cat to the shelter (because, it’s true, they are more than likely going to be put down), I DO think that my kid(s) are more important than an animal. I would exhaust every other avenue available if it came down to it (and more than likely, our cat would just become solely an outdoor cat) but my kid is more important than an animal, period.
    If my house was on fire & I could save our cat(or dog or whatever) OR my child, I would save my child and I have a hard time imagining anyone who is a parent saying anything different. Now, I would absolutely try to save both, but, God forbid, it did come down to that choice? There would be no question.

  192. Amber H says:

    This was fantastic. I was literally laughing so hard I was crying!

  193. Tarina says:

    Oh good grief, people have a damn sense of humor.

  194. Tarina says:

    See, I actually figured out the reasoning behind animals suddenly acting all wacky as soon as children go to sleep. They are no longer afraid for their tails. Children LOVE to yank animal tails. Kids go down, animals sense a disturbance in the force, and take hold of the opportunity to release as much energy as possible before they have to go into hiding from the Sith again <3

  195. Tarina says:

    Animals give just as much love and affection as children, if you raise them both right. Have more faith in your kids and their capacity to love YOU even if you love your dog more, as your post suggests. Alternately, teach them how to control their own rage at people with differing opinions and senses of humor.

  196. It’s quite possible that animals are equal (whatever that means) to people…since we ARE all animals who live and die on the same planet, but…

    …ridding the home of animals that are *not* like us after we have brought home babies seems perfectly natural to me. Obviously there are myriad relevant factors such as lack of sleep, lack of time, feeling a bit stir-crazy but I think the central reason that SO many moms are expressing a common experience here is a mix of rampant (useful) hormones and evolution. Animals that are not the same as us can feel like threats and I think most readers here know how paranoid mamas can be when it comes to the safety of their babies. Even if it is “just” the worry of tripping over a cat while carrying the baby down the stairs or the fear that the cat litter in the bed might make baby sick, we *feel* the threat in a very real way. Sometimes there is a more obvious threat, like a cat or dog who has actually scratched or nipped/bit one of our babies.

    I am thankful that I have never felt threatened enough to show my now-elderly (19 and 17-ish) cats the door but believe me you, if either of them became violent (unprovoked) toward my 8mo or peed on him, my instinct AND my heart would tell me to deliver the cat to the nearest no-kill shelter.

  197. Actually, “most” of those who commented did NOT say they were waiting for their pet to die. Nor did they say they had abandoned their pet. False information does not help anything.

    I understand that you are an animal lover and I respect that…however, your emotions seem to be overtaking your ability to be rational. Major changes in anyone’s life are likely to shift priorities and perspectives. Most parents express that even their relationship with their spouse changed after the first baby was born.

    What sadden me the most here are the comments that wish illness, abandonment or even death on other people. Surely you must see that a person that posts something like “I hope your cat kills your baby” or “maybe you should die in a fire…” comes across as psychotic and weakens the entire pro-pet argument?

  198. Slise says:

    I understand that this blog post was meant to be funny; however, some of the comments here are very disturbing.

    If you seriously believe that your cat was so dangerous to your child that she had to be “banished to a single room of the house, away from surfaces which the baby/toddler might touch”, and if you seriously believe that it was a life or health-threatening event when “eventually, the toddler got near the gate keeping the cat in the dining room, and there were some unpleasant near-misses with claws and teeth”, then you are nuts. Either you didn’t understand (or were not willing to learn) how to bring children into a house where animals already live, or you were just looking for an excuse to get rid of a cat that had become merely “expenses and annoyance”. In fact, that last phrase belies any protests you make about your motivation being the health and welfare of your child. It doesn’t sound like you believe that the health and welfare of people is more important than that of cats; it sounds like you believe that your own inconvenience is more important than the health and welfare of a cat you claim to have loved.

    People like you all make me sick; if you think of non-human animals as disposable, you shouldn’t adopt them in the first place (whether a person can “see the future” is not the issue). If you are not prepared to truly care for a companion animal, then don’t bring one into your home. Cats and dogs are not rental pseudo-babies, to be disposed of when you have the real thing. You should examine the selfish motives that led you to adopt a companion animal in the first place, and stop claiming that you ever “loved” the animals for which you can no longer be bothered to care. Love doesn’t work like that.

  199. So here’s my situation. I have a big black male kitty, who was rescued as an adult from the animal shelter when he was on death row. He is a very big gentleman….MOST of the time.

    For example, my daughter (now 2) is someone who he loves to cuddle up next to her feet on the toddler bed (or when she is napping on the big bed). She can throw her arms around him screaming “KITTY!” and he’ll just let her. And whenever she does pull on his ears or tail or tries to be rough, I always scold HER for doing it, but he doesn’t swipe at her! Once he grabbed her arm with his mouth, but it wasn’t biting (ie: he grabbed her with the same lightness as a cat holds kittens).

    I love my cat because petting him calms me down, but I get frustrated at him because he loves to pee on the couch whenever he is mad at us for whatever reason (so far, the peeing seems to specifically be the couch…knock on wood!), but I can’t tell you how angry I get when I smell the smell or god forbid sit down on a wet spot!

    He also does the whole MEOW MEOW MEOW alarm and wants to constantly be let into the bedroom (through which is his perch and the bathroom with the litter box) when my daughter is sleeping. The only good thing about this is that my daughter seems to have gotten immune to meowing as long as it’s not going on for a long period of time, so thankfully, my sanity isn’t totally slipping. I can’t believe that I’m starting to think about having another baby (we want two) and wondering how much more frustrating the “little things” are going to be once we have a new baby!

    We got our cat almost six months before I found out that I was pregnant (I actually didn’t know that I could become pregnant as I was told I was infertile), and he had a profound positive effect on my husband’s mental health (he has depression problems). Every time my husband comes home, our cat climbs up on his lap purring like a freight train and wanting pets and loves. I honestly think that this is one of the main reasons his suicidal thoughts have almost disappeared.

  200. says:

    LOL, this is hilarious and EXACTLY how it happens in my house. Luckily, I only have one cat but why does he run wild through the house ONLY at night and shove open my son’s bedroom door in the middle of the night? Yes, he pukes and I’m usually lucky enough to hear him doing it before my kids start playing in it. I really do love my cat, but he has gotten very annoying since the kids. He DEMANDS attention and will swat at me when I’m passing him if I don’t respond to his meow. And yes, he loves to trip me all the time, AWESOME!

  201. Anon says:

    Are you serious? It amazes me people still peddle this nonsense about there being an analogous relationship between how you treat animals and children. Newsflash: pets aren’t people. I can’t stand pets and wouldn’t want some filthy animal in my house. Yet mysteriously it doesn’t affect my ability to parent my child in an affectionate way.

  202. momlovesyoga says:

    I have to tell you, I just discovered your blog yesterday and already have reposted, uhm, like 10 of your blogs on facebook. You are my hero and hysterically funny. And with a five yr old boy and 2 year old girl, I’m in the thick of it too…right now I am potty training my little girl and it’s awesome fun.

    Thank you for making us tired haggy mommies laugh! Please don’t ever stop!

  203. Gt, mommy of 4 says:

    There needs to be a “like” button for this post, Anon. I love my kids and don’t like animals. And I cringe when pet lovers try to say their dogs are “little people with fur”. They are animals, who don’t use toilet paper.

  204. Gt, mommy of 4 says:

    No, that’s when you count the days for them to move out.

  205. Jo says:

    Oh my god, you have some asshole readers! I’m shocked by those comments! Damn.

    I had exactly the same experience with my jack Russells (who, btw, shit 2/3 of their own body weight a day, apparently, often on the kitchen floor).

    They are finally gone, and I am NOT SORRY. Guilty, but not sorry. So go on, have a go, hysterical teenage type animal rights fanatics. I was once one of you!!

  206. H says:

    get a grip all you haters! it’s FUNNY..and true. she never said anything about killing them. sheesh.. some people need to take a humor 101 class.
    ps. i hate my cats too.

  207. Noelle says:

    I love our two cats and giant dog, but since having kids I confess my patience with animals is on the low ebb. I am sure it will climb back up as the kids get out of the baby/toddler stage, but for now I need low maintenance, obedient animals because all my tolerance for mess and snarkiness is going to the kids.

  208. Rach says:

    I love love love our cats but I have to agree, they anoy me alot at times!! Take for example the other night one of them cut their foot in the middle of the night and walked around the whole house, so we awoke to blood footprints through the house. It meant I had chemical spray all over the carpet and couldn’t put my child down on the floor for even a second as I knew she would be straight into it. Not the cats fault but it was another thing on top of my daughter making messes and screaming cause she didn’t want to be in her exersaucer anymore. And they are continuously on our table and bench. Our first cat never use to do it, until the 2nd one came along and they both decided it was okay. No matter how many times we spray them with water they still do it. We can’t leave anything out, not even baking cause one will get into it. And now on top of things a new neighbours cat keeps coming inside and causing trouble with our cats and we have no idea whos cat it is!
    One of our cats pooped and peed inside the other day on the floor which none have ever ever done!! So angry!! But its more like the way you would get angry with a child

  209. Evelyn says:

    I miss my kitty 🙁 He was a good boy, and beautiful. he got out one day and never came back. Some one may have grabed him because he was a good looking kitty that would rub up on every person that he saw. I will not be getting any new kittys or dogs untill we are past the napping stage though. Pets just don’t get the “shhhh baby is sleeping”

  210. Person says:

    It may be your opinion that your attitude doesn’t affect your offspring, but hey… think there’s no analogous relationship between the treatment of animals and children, so i guess you probably don’t believe that children learn from those around them, either. I feel sorry for you. What a sad person you are who can only see other creatures as ‘filthy’. The cartoon is amusing, and let’s be honest here…basically true. It doesn’t mean parents hate animals because they can be a nuisance. But you’re a worry with such an unhealthy attitued, which will most likely rub off on your poor kids.

  211. Kitkat says:

    For all you cat haters above, my 24 yr old daughter is only alive today because the cat I had when she was a baby sensed that something was wrong one day when she was sleeping, and went and jumped on her and woke her. I tossed the cat out, resettled the baby, made sure windows and the door was closed and went back to the lounge. 10 minutes later he jumped on her again. That night she was admitted to hospital with vomiting and fevers and the next day came out in a rash – diagnosis = infantile rosella. When I told the nurse what had happened the previous day, they told me that the cat had probably saved her life!

    You also have to remember that dogs have masters and therefore are trainable, cats have slaves and as such, expect us to learn to adjust to them. Not a bad way to live really. My children have grown up with all sorts of animals and the complications of those animals have been great learning experiences for the kids.

    Also remember that a bite from a cat or dog is less toxic than a bite from a human… so the next time another kid bites yours, hope that the kid heals nicely, they would if it were a cat or dog bite!

  212. Person says:

    Maybe you should have talked and played with your son more often instead of constantly pointing out the “cat puke”, because he obviously heard it from someone in his family. Maybe then his first word may have been “Daddy”, or even something pleasant.

  213. Person says:

    Hear hear sunshyn. Some of these people are unbelievable. So many people irresponsibly ‘get a pet’, because it seems like a good idea at the time, with absolutely no thought to the future, and what it means to be in the life of an elderly and perhaps ailing animal. If they can’t be bothered to commit to having an animal as part of their family they should get a bloody stuffed toy that can be put back in a drawer when they get fed up with it. What losers!

  214. Jamie says:

    Seriously? My son’s first word was “dog” you sanctimonious troll. And even the craziest of cat ladies doesn’t celebrate hair balls, so what exactly is your point? After my son was born, one of my cat’s developed kidney failure, and even though we were busier and strapped for cash, we did what we needed to do to take care of her, including lots of expensive medications and daily saline infusions. With LOVE and care, we bought that cat some quality time in which she was a treasured part of our family. Since becoming a parent, my patience for EVERYTHING, including my cats, is stretched a little thinner, but I still love them. And I’m glad my son knows the phrase “cat puke” because in our household, it comes in handy.

  215. C says:

    Come on. Really? Why such harsh judgement? Some people just don’t like animals and that does not make them bad people. Before I had kids my animals were my kids. Then I had real ones, and realized that animals are nothing like real kids. The fact that I don’t love my animals as much as or more than my own children is a sign of mental health. And animals are a complete pain when you have little kids to take care of. And I seriously doubt anyone commenting on this page has actually TOLD their children how they secretly feel about their animals or somehow taught their children to be animal haters. My kids love our animals, despite the fact that I mainly want to give them away. The fact that so many people feel the same way should tell you something. I am not evil – I am a very compassionate and loving person and mother. But I kow the difference between people and animals! If you have not had your own children, you really cannot judge. And finally, if you can’t sense the irony and humor behind the majority of these comments – perhaps this isn’t the site for you?

  216. C says:

    I am really suprised by the people on here who are so holier-than thou who have never (at least not mentioned) having their own kids… If you haven’t been in the situation, you can’t judge. We all know that animals are living things, but the bond between pet and human and human and their own offspring – you just can’t even begin to compare those two things. Lots of moms have this annoyance. And sometimes animals DO threaten kids. My own annoyance has died down since my youngest has gotten out of the baby stage but the protective feeling a mother has for her children is natural and healthy. There were definitly times that I wished my cat an early departure. That feeling has subsided but it was there and I am not ashamed of it. Making light of it and realizing we are not alone is helpful to all of us who struggle with the situation. Do you think the writer of this site doesn’t love her kids? Of course she does. But making light of what it is about them that drives us crazy also helps relieve the stress. Parenting is so full of stress and fatigue and hormones and so many other things that if you haven’t done it you can’t understand – so please try not to judge something you have no experience with. And wishing harm (or negelct, in this case) on another human being does NOT make you any better than someone who makes a hard decision to give up an animal. It kind of makes you hateful.

  217. SRMom says:

    Oh my goodness, some of you young folks are really just a tad judgemental and over the top. Well loved pets can (and on occassion do)drive owners crazy. Being annoyed does not mean you don’t love and care for your pets. And pets (beloved though they may be) ARE NOT children nor are they people with 4 legs and fur. For those who are really upset, maybe you could take a step back and consider the possibility that you are taking this way too seriously?

  218. Emily says:

    Heh. My moment to act smug now. I trained my cat to vacate the room at top speed when someone says scat. This was done humanely (you say scat, you help him from the room, you have someone with a treat in the hallway, he gets treat. Once this is established, you give better treats for a faster vacate.) He also comes to his name (say name, give treat, say name, give treat, say name, walk away… get better treat… give treat when they come.)

    This was done when he was first rescued. Now, 2 kids later? I can go into the kids room and say “Scat!” and the cat will go from any hiding spot he’s found and take off. I go to bed and “Scat!” he takes off out of the room, I then close door, he can’t get to baby. We absolutely positively LOVE our cat.

    The kids do grab him, pull his tail, haul him by his tail (usually I can tell this by hearing him yowling for help, which I then tell the 3 year old to let him go NOW or risk her dolls being put in time-out, which is a horrible punishment in her opinion…) and he has never scratched or bitten them.

    I remember my first cat though. My little nephew came to visit, and pinned him down. My cat was the ever tolerant orange guy, wonderful cat. My nephew curiously stuck his finger up the cat’s… undertail… yeah… my cat gave a scream, STILL didn’t scratch him (I would have) but used all his muscles to throw the babe off and run. He never got pinned by a toddler again.

  219. DunesGirl says:

    my favorite is when you sneak out of the nursury after putting said baby FINALLY to sleep..put just the right pressure on the old door knob so that it doesn’t squeek…yes! success!…tiptoe away from the door avoiding floorboards that you know are noisy…make your way to your room…lay down in bed with your book and tea that you sooooo deserve after a long day…and then….MEEEOOOOOW! coming from the baby monitor. the flippin’ cat snuck in and hid under the crib as you were putting baby down. Ugh!!!!!

  220. Emma says:

    I personally can’t understand how it is so hard to have pets and kids. Granted I only have one toddler but plan on adding another couple to that within the next couple of years.
    I have 3 dogs and a cat, all of which come inside/outside as they please. I have never tried to shield my baby from the animals and they in turn lost their ‘fascination’ with her and have accepted her completely. I have a latch on the nursery door to stop the cat going in while she is asleep but which can be easily unlatched from the inside and I can see her cot from the door. Sure, I have to clean the floors loads more than I would without animals but the joy we get from our animals far outweighs the ‘inconvenience’ of feeding and cleaning up after them. I still cuddle them every day and pat them goodnight. We also have chooks and pet sheep that need attention every day, so my little girl comes up with me to feed all the animals and she loves it.
    I grew up with an indoor dog and that dog played a huge part of my childhood (and of my brothers’ – we all have pets), and my daughter is learning how to interact safely with animals, and I look forward to seeing her develop a relationship with them like I had with my dog.
    It saddens me when people toss their animals outside or neglect the social needs of their dogs just because of a child (and yes, there is no competition on the whole ‘who would i save first in a fire?’ scenario, but I would try damned hard to get everyone out safely). If you don’t have the time to give your animal a decent life, give it away so someone else can. It deserves better.

  221. Emma says:

    I totally agree with Emily. I have trained my cat to come to a whistle so I can whistle him out of the room and I use a ‘Psst!’ to get him to go out if I am in the room. He IS an amazingly tolerant cat who has never raised a paw in anger though…
    Just a note, for all those who had cats that started inappropriately urinating after baby came along – it’s most likely stress-related to the change in the house and I can totally understand the frustration with that (I don’t think my cat would last too long inside if he started that!). Also, you can get microchip-activated cat-flaps if you have unwanted cats coming inside.
    I can understand the frustration with a barking dog that wakes the baby up (argh!) but I would never wish my dogs dead because of this.
    And as for the whole dirty pets thing? Kids are going to eat dirt, snails, grass, ants, whatever, so what’s a bit of dog/cat fur on the floor? As long as they are properly wormed there’s not much to catch from them. And no matter what your doctor says, the dog didn’t give the kid worms and make his bum itchy – dogs don’t get pinworms. It’s such a common myth.

  222. Penguin says:

    This is the funniest string I have ever read, thanks to all!
    I too have two neglected cats since having two babies. About once a month I remember that I love them…Fortunately the kids adore them!

  223. June says:

    Lol, ‘should’ being the operable word. Many babies don’t no matter how much you try and train them.

  224. I ran through some of these comments and WOW I really think you just have to ignore some people. Unfortunately there are people that have nothing better to do than troll the internet searching for people to criticize, belittle, and judge. These type of people are typically lonely (for obvious reasons) and miserable. No worries – no one with any sense interpreted that post as anything other than your perspective on your pets place in the home has changed since becoming a parent. Cheers!

  225. Beck says:

    i agree 100%

  226. Beck says:

    our pets changed once i had my son. one of our cats started pissing ALL OVER my son’s toys, including his bouncer, and we were never about to get her to stop. yeah, there is NOTHING wrong with me for not loving the cat as much as i did before i ‘popped a kid out of my own loins’

  227. Beck says:

    grow up.

  228. Beck says:

    ok, we know that you think that animals and people aren’t equal. you’ve made that very very very clear, but to say that people who don’t agree with you “has serious problems” is more annoying than you continuously reminding everyone about how people are better than animals. its YOUR opinion, you don’t need to put people down just because you don’t think the way they do or feel that way or even understand it.

  229. Beck says:

    this cartoon is hilarious! and everybody has opinions but if someone doesn’t agree with it or doesn’t know why you have that opinion then saying that they’re a sad person or crazy or an idiot, and so on, isn’t going to get anyone anywhere except piss people off. my damn, it’s just a cartoon to make people laugh!

  230. Beck says:

    true. very.

  231. Kate says:

    Um, who said the barking was ongoing from “8pm until 3 in the morning?” My dog barks when the doorbell rings. Usually 3-5 barks and then he stops. It annoys the crap out of me, especially if the baby is trying to sleep. But it’s over in less than 30 seconds, and I hardly think it’s a problem for my neighbors. Should he be put down for this?

  232. momofanangel says:

    You must not have children.

  233. momofanangel says:

    Snap judgments make you look foolish.

  234. momofanangel says:

    My dog always seems to know when the baby is sleeping and will beller out his annoying high pitched screech. I used to enjoy him, now I see him as an obstacle to keeping my baby sleeping!

  235. momofanangel says:

    Whats it to you how people refer to their pets?

  236. Brittney says:

    I am so sad to see such nasty comments on here 🙁 people being told that they hope they will be left alone in nursing homes because they couldn’t care for their pet… Really awfull. I apparently am a horribly selfish and disgusting person as well! We had a ferret, than we had a baby. I could not adequately care for the ferret because I was so busy for with our son. And it IS true that when you become a parent you start seeing how dirty things are… I suddenly realized how germy she was and that combined with knowing I wasn’t giving her the attention/time that she needed resulted in me giving her to a local ferret shelter. I guess Im someone who feels like it is BETTER to give your pet away than it is to let them be neglected or even hated at home. This doesn’t make you a horrible human being, it makes you an honest and responsible one. I would certainly hope that as my son gets older he will learn the importance of priorities… I’m pretty sure that a baby takes priority over a pet. That doesn’t mean I hate animals… it means I am choosing my top priority. I would have made this choice regardless of what type of pet I had. So… flame on… I know I made the right choice.

  237. Brittney says:

    I should add that I can’t wait to get another pet. I just couldn’t care for the one we had at the time and I think it was unfair to make her wait 6-12 months for me to be able to do it. I don’t think that all pets are super hard to care for with kids… but we don’t know everyones situation or why they were overwhelmed with the pet at the time.

  238. Wow–sorry you got bad comments. I found this absolutely hysterical. I have cats. I pampered them before I had kids, even sewing a freaking cat IGLOO from scratch. Now our pets have a tendency to drive me nuts. Totally normal.

  239. You know what? I’m sorry, but I absolutely disagree with this comment: “Animals give just as much love and affection as children, if you raise them both right.” I suspect there is no way this commenter has children. If so, I’m sure they enjoy having their emotional capabilities put on par with a dog. Children are humans. So dogs and humans can love equally? I don’t buy it. And I do love animals.

  240. Velvet says:

    I laughed my butt off when I read this post. You perfectly captured my cats in crappy cartoon form. Of course we immediately started calling one of our cats “buttstamp”. Not all the time, but from time to time. Of course when one lives with a 3 year old human parrot these things take on a life of their own. Out of nowhere the other day my son proclaimed “I’m a butt stamp” Oh no, what have I done.

    Me: Oh, you’re a bus stop?
    T: No, Butt Stamp! Butt Stamp Butt Stamp. I’m a butt stamp and mommy’s a buttstamp, and daddy’s a buttstamp, and grandma’s a buttstamp.

    Now he occasionally runs through the house giggling and saying Butt Stamp. I can’t help but laugh.

  241. Sue says:

    Well said and I love my cats, they just drive me mad with their shedding and kitty litter

  242. Sue says:

    Its a natural motherly instinct to push away and see as a threat anything other than your baby. We are programmed to feel that way so don’t feel bad about it Ellie. I agree you shouldn’t get another pet until the kids are older though

  243. Sue says:

    Well said Jessica

  244. Sue says:

    There is something wrong with you

  245. Sue says:

    Seriously I don’t think you understand irony

  246. Chief says:

    I have a daughter and a dog and I can tell you this: PEOPLE ARE ANIMALS. We have comparable traits if you pay attention. What in the world makes you think that humans evolved from magic or something? Seriously.

  247. rlm says:

    Very Nice! I love well crafted insults.

  248. Em says:

    First I would like to say.. great post and hilarious! SO true!
    Second.. I am a mother AND pet owner. I have two kids and I also have a cat and I had 13 year old dog that recently died. A month or two after my daughter was born, my dog began to go down hill- fast. She couldn’t walk without help, was constantly falling over or her legs would split and she would be stuck somewhere. Pretty soon she lost control of her bowels and would pee all over herself, the house and poop involuntary, while walking. It was a total clusterf*%k. Even still, she had been my pet for THIRTEEN years, had been loyal and loving and brought me much happiness. I could have put her to sleep the minute she started to give me problems.. I didn’t. The vet said she still wanted to be with us. I gave her love, I cleaned after her, I walked with her using a towel underneath her belly so she would not fall and cleaned up piss on all our brand new and expensive rugs and even our sofa, that she once was barely able to climb on. This is all while taking care of my baby who wakes up at the sound of a fart. It was not fun or pleasant. When my dog stopped eating, I knew it was time. As she was afraid of the vet, I paid a large amount of money to have a vet come to our home and we put her to sleep under a dogwood tree in the spring, after she ate a hamburger and I held her, kissed her and told her how much I loved her. She deserved it for all the love and happiness she had brought me for so many years. I could never repay her enough for her loyalty.
    I love my children more than anything and I sacrifice everything for them but I also love my pets. That is my duty when I choose to own a pet. I am so sick and tired of people who buy animals and don’t take a moments notice to think about the responsibility they are taking on. Be an adult. OWN your choices and take care of your goddamn pet if you have one. Don’t give it away or banish it to a room or wait for it to die bc now it is a hassle. That pet is YOUR problem and YOUR problem alone. Deal with it and show some compassion.
    One of my only regrets in life was when I kept my dog out of our room because I was worried she would wake my baby up – she kept falling and moving around. I put her out in the hallway. I had never, ever let her not sleep in the room with us. I should have sucked it up and dealt with it, sacrificing my own sleep so my dog could have been comfortable- but I didn’t. She died two days later.
    Treat your animals well, people.

  249. Amanda K. says:

    This post is awesome. I took pictures of my cat in our bassinet, too. Now sometimes I forget we have a cat…except when he comes in my lap when I’m trying to sit on the couch alone…or when I’m asleep. Oh, the meow alarm.
    This was just a few days after my son was born:

  250. MeToo says:

    Wow, I can’t believe how cruel some of these posts are. It’s one thing to not want an animal, yet an entirely different story to wish death upon them. How cruel.

    Blogger: I think your blog is hilarious and I don’t even have kids!

  251. WitchyD says:

    “sanctimonious troll”……LOL

  252. Shelley says:

    I’m astounded that people read your posts, obviously for the only reason of being able to write judgmental comments. I can’t stand people. LOVE your blog…P.S. I have long declared that cats and dogs should be required to wear underwear.

  253. beezer says:

    Do you honestly think becoming a mother, giving birth, raising a child and the emotions and love that go along with all that can be described as “as simple as popping a kid out of your loins”?? If that’s all it was to you then geez…

  254. beezer says:

    Didn’t she take it to a shelter becasue it posed a physical threat to her child? Is that extreme? What would be the other option? Wait for your child to eb seriosuly hurt.

  255. beezer says:

    I don’t think people find their pets worthless becasue they decided to breed themselves. I think people change, families change (people get divorced), life changes and sometimes life is better off with those changes. Having a baby is a life changing experience and it can change people 100%. Sometimes people think they can do it all, parent, wife, kids, pets, jobs and I’m sorry if sometimes people don’t understand this but you have to make changes when you realize you can’t do it all. My point is you don’t know what it’s going to be like so you have to adapt and change your life as you live it. If I can’t take care of a pet anymore becasue motherhood, working a full time job and tkaing care of a house is too much why does that make me a bad person for finding another home for a pet? (Trust me, my first choice would be to get rid of my job but unfortunately I need to make money to support my family). Life isn’t always what you expect it to be so people have to right to change their mind as their lives and situations change – people divorce their spouses, why can’t they divorce their pet?

  256. Heartbroken says:

    To Crappy Mama – funny post as usual, if not slightly sad, but I can hear you’re just venting. Still made me sad for your cats though, and makes me a little less eager to read your posts

    To all the commenters waiting for their family pets to die, who are keeping them outside after being pampered, who abandoned them at shelters – my heart bleeds for these living, thinking, FEELING beings who gave you love and trusted you to love them back. It’s very true that the way we treat non-human animals is indicative of how we raise our children – look for the studies. There is conditional love and unconditional love – which do you want to teach your children? And the nursing home analogy is actually spot on. Young children absorb EVERYTHING and they’re learning about how weaker members of a family are treated when they are no longer valued.

    “Love is not love that alters where it alterations finds.”

  257. M says:

    I know it can be difficult to balance pets and babies, and I know it is not my business to say something JUDGEMENTAL, but I think it is truly sad that you could not open your heart wide enough for to love your once beloved pet AND your babies. Yes, children are your most important responsibility, but your cat did not deserve to die alone in the shelter because you felt she was a nuisance. Please don’t ever get another pet. Ever.

    • Mary Watts says:

      This is the saddest story I have heard in a very long time 🙁 The poor cat was put in a shelter because she was an old senior that now required more vet care. So very sad!

      • Ep says:

        I read here something about a near miss with claws and teeth…. sorry, nope not sorry, but if any, and I mean ANY animal tries to hurt my kid, that animal is gone. At least she took it to a shelter.

        • Aubrey says:

          Absolutely! I would abandon my dog (whom I still love, despite her many many annoyances) in an instant if she became mean with my kids. She is fantastic with them, which sometimes is her only redeeming quality. She takes a daily beating and still adores them.

        • ACJ says:

          Aubrey, I think you have to consider the situation. My daughter got clawed by one of our cats. The one who incidentally loves her enough to put up with all the toddler crap she has felt fit to throw at him.

          Long story short, she ambushed him while he was hiding, and he panicked and clawed his way out. Was I upset that this happened? Yes, as was my crying child. But I do understand that the cat does not have the mental faculties to realize that daughter wasn’t ambushing him, she was trying to love on him. And he’s put up with more hugs and pulled tails before I usually step in than I could keep count of, so in light of that good behavior, the cat stays, and the daughter learned a lesson about leaving kitty alone… in fact these days I can redirect her with “Kitty wants you to leave him alone” and she knows what that means now.

          Are my cats more annoying in other ways now? Yes, they are, but that’s because they don’t get the attention they used to, so truthfully they’re just trying to say “Hey, cat here. Remember me?”. It’s kind of justifiable behavior, if you think about it.

        • Ashley says:

          If a cat scratch is the worse thing inflicted on your child you are lucky. Our son and the youngest cat wrestle and both get hurt…and both get lectured that they can’t play rough. In general, cats do tend to AVOID and run, not fight.

      • mnh says:

        A “near miss” with claws and teeth can mean so many things, from normal cat behavior to something truly frightening.

        When I was 8, one of our cats got Alzheimer’s. Eventually she progressed to the aggressive stage and started randomly leaping from the bushes to attack people, so my mom had to have her put down.

        15+ years later, I still have scars on my chest and stomach from that cat. It wasn’t the cat’s fault she had Alzheimer’s, but it eventually made her very very dangerous. If I’d been a smaller child or less able to defend myself and run, the cat could have easily maimed me.

        • mandolin says:

          Ashley: “if a cat scratch is the worst thing…”obviously you’ve never heard of cat scratch fever. my sister had it from a cat scratch that sealed infectious bacteria into the scratch. we thought, due to the size of the tumor, that she had some form of cancer. it was terrifying back then, and she still has a vicious 4 inch scar on her arm, 22 yrs later. go through that and tell me how you feel about cat scratches…

    • Jade says:

      Oh, for many women the children thing is just selfish. Passing their own genes along. That’s the only reason they care. They’d probably drop the husband at a shelter if he got in the way or shed some fur.

    • Jane says:

      Shut the fck up. Don’t ever post on the Internet, M. Ever. Retard.

  258. Aylyese says:

    The truly refreshing part about all of this is – the crazy peta people do not intend on breeding. A win for the world.

    You can hate it all you want, but when you have a child, your priorities shift. This is really no shock to animals, whose own mothers bite at them for trying to get too close when mummy has decided it is time for them to move on. Humans are far more compassionate to their offspring than animals are to theirs.

  259. Kendra says:

    I’m not going to read the hateful comments. I do have to say I completely get this post! lol. I have 3 kids, 2 are under the age of 2 and we have 4 cats(2 are mine, 2 are my boyfriend’s). Enough said! 😉

  260. Morgan says:


    • Jenn says:

      Candy, may I suggest finding a nice farm to give them to? Unless you set up an insulated house for them come heat or chill, it sounds like they are being neglected.

      • XOXO says:

        I know. Horrible. It haunts me b/c I love my kitty so much and pains me when animals are mistreated and neglected.

        • Patty S. says:

          And living on a farm is different from living outside someone’s house how??? As a former farm girl who loves animals, we treated our cats and dogs like animals, not people. They lived outdoors and hunted for their own food. And guess what? They weren’t considered treated badly. If they were, they would have left. At least she’s letting them stay at her house and not just killing them. Wow, some people really treat pets better than they treat people.

  261. LMR says:

    So damn funny!!!!!!

    BTW Attending college at 29, okay soon to be 30, and a few kids (you know who are no where near 30) in my class admit to writing fanatical mean-spirited blog posts like some of these, just for the fun of getting a rise out of people. Makes me wonder why anybody who is writing any of the extremist stuff here (nice or mean) thinks they’re actually being taken seriously.

  262. Niki says:

    I love this post. I understand where you are coming from. My two cats where the biggest cuttlers when I was Pregnant with my daughter. As soon as she was born and we brought her home the cats wanted nothing to do with her (still don’t all though she is only 7 weeks old right now). I Play with my two cats when my daughter is sleeping. They don’t cuddle with me at this time which I do miss. I love my daughter and my two cats, even though they do love to get underfoot when I am doing something. Also as a plus they alert me if there are any nasty bugs near my daughter.

  263. As soon as she was born and we brought her home the cats wanted nothing to do with her .

  264. MR says:

    Oh, thank you for this post! I was being hard on myself thinking I was evil for feeling this way about my two cats after becoming a single Mom to my now 17-month-old whom I’ve dubbed the Hurricane since I cannot keep up with his energy or his mess. I feel so much better 🙂 I still take care of my cats but I swear they are plotting against me in a bid to relieve me of my sanity!

  265. Karen says:

    Oh yes, I can clearly tell from your post that you hate cats. I think it was when you wrote about how you have them locked in the garage chained to the exhaust pipe just waiting for the execution call from the roving death-vet. You then clearly went on to write of how, since you had kids, you kick and run over puppies for fun on slow Sundays, and that once the kids started to talk you decided they don’t need to eat on the days they talk 😉 Ha! Oh sweet lord like there isn’t enough real misery in the world so people have to inject it where it isn’t and put words in people’s mouths? Argh! Lighten up Crankypants people!

  266. Heather says:

    Oh wow, the people who think getting annoyed with your pets make you disgusting, need a serious reality check. I suppose you getting annoyed by her post makes you disgusting, too? People can get frustrated you know, it’s part of being human. The way some of you act would make one think you don’t know what being human is like.

  267. Eva r says:

    She put it in a no kill shelter with a large donation.

  268. Amanda says:

    First, I sacrificed sleep to read all of your crappy posts last night. My ribs ache this morning from all the laughing, and it was a worthy trade off! Second, this is, by far, one of my favorites. I love my cats, despite having kids. But they do annoy me!

    There is no annoyance to compare to the 2:30am feeding of the baby, when he’s been up every 20 minutes with teething pain and finally, finally I’m able to lay him down without screams ensuing. Cats must have a radar. Because, inevitably, ours starts yowling outside the nursery door. Okay, no big deal, at least the door is closed! Then comes the scratching under the door… where the cat’s claws get stuck in the hollow core, and it sounds like someone’s using a hatchet to break in. Lay the baby down as quickly and gently as possible and beeline for the door, scowling. Open the door, get a “mew” as a greeting, and the little jerk goes and lays down on the couch. What the heck, cat?! You just wanted to announce to the FINALLY sleeping baby that you’re going to take a nap now, too?

    Ugh. But then, he does have some redeeming qualities. Like patiently laying on the floor while one or both of the kids lay on top of him. Even when he finally drags himself out of their death grip, it’s just to flop down three feet away, which invites more squashing.

    I love your satire! I haven’t seen a single post I couldn’t relate to, and this one is especially hilarious!

  269. Teddy says:

    I have to agree. We had to put our dog down when she proved too aggressive to live with our then-crawling son. We spent almost a thousand dollars on a trainer who expressed doubts from the get-go but we just didn’t want to put her down. In the end, we had to. I have a shrine to her and we still have pictures of her hanging in our house; even after we moved house, I still hung up those pictures. It was a lesson well learned for my husband and me. Dogs can be dangerous and all the love in your heart won’t make them less dangerous.

  270. loraine says:

    I still love my cat and she never annoyed me after the baby came into the outside world. She’s a little annoying with some elder cat issues right now but I love her so I don’t blame her. She’s 16 yrs old so she allowed to have some indiosyncrasies. Don’t get me wrong, she does annoy me at times but overall she doesn’t. The lap thing happens esp. if I’m eating on the couch. She loves to sit on my lap in her old age and I love it except while I’m eating. Annoying? Maybe a bit but not too much. I understand where she’s coming from so it’s not too much. She’s not going to be around much longer so she can annoy me all she wants but she’s always been a pretty good kitty. I’ve had her since she was 10 wks old so we’re pretty close.

  271. Mandy says:

    Why didn’t you just take her to be put down humanely if she was already sick and old. That is terrible.

    • mouse605 says:

      thing is, she more than likely WAS euthanized. oldr animlas and small kittens don’t fall int o the ‘adoptables’ category, and are usually euthanized withing 3 days of being brought in.

  272. Mandy says:

    My cats are annoying and one of them literally destroyed a beautiful microfiber sectional by urinating on it . THAT ONE is pretty close to the “outside cat” category because of that. However, I don’t know if I could ever get rid of them. I love them both and although they are annoying sometimes, they ARE my cats.

  273. Simone says:

    I have pet rabbits who are house rabbits and a guinea pig. They definatley irritate me more the babies are here. Mostly because they are inside they make way more mess for me to clean, but it never bothered me before LOL!

    Rabbits dont make noise so thats great, and one loves the baby so thats also great. But still sometimes I look at all the freaking mess afte rI’ve been runnning around after a toddler and a baby and just wish we didnt have them.

  274. Ryan says:

    Does it really make me a horrible person that I now can’t stand my animals after having our first child? Our son is almost one and I want to find new homes for 2 cats and a dog. They are disgusting and bring in fleas to the house…even with frontline. The damn cats climb all over everything with their crap covered paws. They do nothing for me anymore except cost money and make a mess. These animals used to be very important to me, but it has quickly faded…

  275. Llama says:

    And actually kind of scary…and sad

  276. Jen says:

    You know what’s awesome? Training your animals. Then they don’t do things like bark all the time, climb on furniture, scratch furniture, poop or pee in the house, etc.

    My son is 2 1/2, and we have (and had before he was born) 2 Golden Retrievers, 2 cats and 2 horses. Since he was born we also acquired 4 chickens, 2 calves and 2 pigs. Watching our son help care for the animals is so heartwarming. The dogs love him, and he loves the dogs. The cats are pretty aloof, but they’re kind to him or just leave when they are tired of him.

    The love & compassion my son shows towards the animals is beautiful to watch. And I’m sad for all of your children who won’t know how to love other living things. I’m not going to lie, my critters irritate me sometimes, but so does my son. And they’re all family, and no one is going anywhere.

  277. We all have the right to say our opinion and respect others as well. I guess I find this comic style article very funny. I think this was happened in reality anyway.

  278. Matt says:

    I found this via a friend’s Facebook post. I saw that you had to add a clarifying comment at the bottom of the post. I also haven’t read a single comment, and I won’t. But I’m not surprised if all the stupid people on the internet have found this offensive. Don’t worry about it – smart people will understand your hilariously grumpy sarcasm. While you might have offended an idiot, or given fodder to an internet troll, you gave me a great laugh! So eff em all.

  279. Katie says:

    I’m late to the party, but the comments {not the post} are upsetting. Our ‘first born,’ a rescue mutt, died midway through my second trimester with our first. I know he would have struggled when DD arrived. He needed miles of walking and climbed into your lap every time you sat down. But his death devastated me. It still tugs at me, and I still feel a hole in our house that he should be laying in. Pets are gross housemates, yes, but maybe this about face turn has more to do with us than them. Maybe we treated them a bit too much like children, so that when actual children came along, the disparity became obvious and uncomfortable. It’s just a thought. Taken with a grain of salt from someone who wishes she got to trip over the dog once adored.

  280. Lynn says:

    I felt bad about quarantining my cats to a small section of the house, but I guess it’s better than them annoying me. Although reading some of these comments about people abandoning or wishing death on pets is ridiculous. Being annoyed by the pets isn’t heartless, but wishing ill on them is.

  281. Bomato says:

    Love this, could have written it myself! I too visited a ‘cold-hearted cow’ of a woman before I had children who had the most wonderful cats and spoke of how she no longer adored them now that she had children. I too thought I would never be like that about my two wonderful Tonkinese ‘babies’.

    Then, real babies. Now they were a pain. The extra poo to clean up, the vomit on the floor, the needy attention seeking, the cat hair on everything, waking up the baby I’ve just spent 30 mins singing to sleep, nearly tripping me at the top of the stairs, and piling on me the minute I sit down. Suddenly the thought of not having them was looking more and more attractive.

    However, 6 years down the line I have come full circle and they are once again my babies. I love them and can’t think about not having them, even though one is draped across my arms now making it difficult to type….awww. I feel guilty that they lost me for a long time, but it most definitely was a phase and I am making up for it 🙂

  282. Pandra says:

    I read the post. Then I started reading the comments. I made it to about 60 comments in, then I had to stop. I cannot believe the amount of hate in the comments. I am NOT speaking of the people complaining in good nature about their pets (and sometimes about giving their kids away. Those comments really made me laugh). I’m talking about the ones who are screaming “FOR SHAME!!!!!11!!!!!ONE!!! You are a HORRIBLE group of people!!!!” every chance they get. This post is for them. A bit of internet 101, if you will.
    1.) You are on a humor blog. You’re first clue is the 4 words under the word PARENTING. Scroll back up to the top. See those 4 little words? I’ll help you. They are “Illustrated with Crappy Pictures™ “.
    2.) Parenting is frustrating at times. Writing is a great way to vent. That’s generally what ALL blogs are about. Do bloggers feel the emotions that they are writing 24/7? No, of course most of them don’t. What you are reading are brief snatches of thought. What they are thinking right at the moment. The humor blogs tend to exaggerate these brief thoughts a smidge to gain a few more smiles.
    3.) Comments sections tend to draw people to also speak of their own similar experiences. If the overall theme of a blog is on the serious side, then the comments tend to be more serious. On a humor blog, the comments tend to be more, well, humorous. This is were people post to say “Oh my god! I get it! Here’s why!!” It’s to show they click.

    Blogs are a bit different than what you read anywhere else. They are a lot like a diary. The only difference is, bloggers are putting their thoughts and feelings out there for the world to read. They aren’t doing it to be judged. They are doing it to find a like minded group of people with similar experiences. They are doing it to find answers sometimes, or to help other people who might be going through rough times. Sometimes they do it because, if they don’t, their heads might explode from the stress of trying to hold it all within themselves.
    The point I am trying to make with my long winded reply is that if what is being said in a blog deeply offends you, then maybe just move on to a different one. One that shares your similar thought process. There’s a ton of them out there. Hell, if you can’t find one, start one yourself. Rant about how this or that blog drives you nuts and why. But please don’t spread your hatred on the one you are reading. Just move on. Please.

  283. Jami says:

    my dog was born february 2003. My oldest human child was born March 2005. My dog died yesterday. I seriously feel like one of my kids died. I can NEVER replace him. all those comments on “waiting for them to die” just breaks my heart. be a decent human being and give them to a decent human being who will love them even though they are not human.

  284. LxLx says:

    Hello. I’m piping in as a veterinary tech who worked in the overcrowded shelters you assholes so sanctimoniously dumped your pets at, and as a mother who also lives with 3 cats, a Great Dane and a Bullmastiff (2 GIANT dogs).

    I did not feel any decrease in the love I have for my animals when my daughter was born. In fact, I love them more for being accepting of her. I still deal with barf, poop, barking, hair and everything that entails having animals but guess what? That’s part of the deal – which you KNEW when you got animals, you lazy fucks!

    I worked in the shelters. I’ve seen it a hundred times, gritting my teeth as another yuppie soccer cunt brings in their “beloved pet” to languish in a cage in the back where they will wait to DIE or possibly be adopted (which won’t happen when you bring your 10 year old pet or dog you didn’t bother to train).

    I sincerely hope that none of you ever have any pets again and that your children dump you at a nursing home and “wait for you to die”. You are cruel, shallow, selfish, lazy and evil.

    Signed, Kennel worker, Mom and Animal lover.

  285. Jennifer says:

    This post is hilarious! And so therapeutic for me! I was incredibly disturbed when I saw new mothers who seemed cold hearted to their pets. We have had our Cavalier King Charles and Abyssinian cat nine years and they were our babies. I used to be a vet tech and loved on every fur baby I came across, and was also very self righteous about how I would never feel that way. Even went to a friend’s house when she first had her baby and smugly loved on and cared for her neglected pets, feeling so good about myself and was horrified when she said “we just keep hoping the cat will run away.” Fast forward to now, and I am even worse than she is! I still care for them and honor my commitment to them, but I secretly cannot remember what the hell I was thinking getting animals 9 years ago. I have been so disturbed by my own feelings toward these two pe(s)ts that I once loved so much, for all the reasons in your post, but they just get on my last nerve! It actually makes it so much better to know its so common and to have a laugh about it! Thanks for posting!

  286. amanda says:

    I think its crazy that someone could abandon or neglect
    There pets because they have a baby, when you make a commitment a innocent animal, you should follow through with it. Kids are just as disgusting as kids, so does mean when you have your second child are you going to get rid of your first child when the little snot face picks his nose or sneezes all over your newborn or pisses on your couch because he can’t make it to the toilet, you should have thought about bringing a pet into your home and used your brains and thought about the well beingof that innocent cat or dog that just wanted to be loved. You may not know what’s in your future but you did know that in the future you wanted kids , you people are pathetic.

  287. amanda says:

    I agree with LxLx. I love animals and children but that is so cruel . The animal didn’t ask to be brought home a selfish person such as some of these people. these animals deserve better than . I have had my cat for four year and I can honestly say I would never get rid of him. Yes he drives me crazy some times but I love him just the way he is, learn to accept your animals for what they are. They truly are amazing if you give them a chance, the problem with so many people today is they are taught to give up w hen things get tough and its the animals that have to research the responsibilty of a pet before you take on a animal and it will save a innocent pet a lot of heartache.

  288. Amy says:

    OMG! Best. Post. Ever. I just went on a rant about this yesterday. SO true… especially the meowing/sleeping baby.

    PS: I love your blog:)

  289. Amy says:

    Wow. I just read through several comments… So many judgmental comments. Take a minute and breathe people.

  290. MM says:

    A lot of the comments here are pretty sad. Our two cats do drive us completely crazy at times, but I still love them both. I would say that I realize now how the love I have for my daughter is much greater than the love I ever had for them, but in some ways, I love the one cat more because she lets my daughter pet her and is really sweet to her even when she herself is scared. The meowing is enough to drive me crazy at times, but then I remember how we adopted them and now we changed their whole world. Not that it won’t stop me from trying to get them to stop meowing when the kids are asleep or my husband is trying to sleep!

  291. Larissa says:

    THANK YOU! I have been seriously annoyed with my fur baby doggies ever since I got pregnant the first time. I hope I’ll get over it. For now, the only love they get is from my husband. Oh well, I still take care of them, there is just a lot more yelling and less cuddling from me. Glad to see I’m not alone. I’d never get rid of them because I made a commitment to them and they really are still part of the family. Just the most annoying part of the family. It’s sad that these angry people commenting above “jest at scars that never felt a wound”.

  292. Mom to 2 & 4 legged kids says:

    Many of the comments here hurt my heart. Before kids, we had three senior ferrets, two big dogs and a cat. Then our older son was born, then the ferrets all died of cancer within a year. We sold the house and moved, absorbing another cat, another dog and buying 26 hens.
    Yes, the critters can be inconvenient at times, but I still love them. In fact, I got a picture of my dog tattoed on my shoulder! They were my kids first, and they will be here (and very loved) until they die in my loving arms.

  293. Mom to 2 & 4 legged kids says:

    You know what? You all need to loosen up. Let your kids adapt to the real world!
    I have a coonhound, a tiny poodle, a pit bull and a surviving cat-all indoor pets. My dogs bark at squirrels the UPS man, etc. My kids both sleep through it. My cat jumps up on their beds at night. They shove him off if he bothers them.
    Both of my kids will tell you how much they love the pets and how glad they are that we have them. At 3 and 5, they have pet chores. They each help feed dogs a meal, they collect chicken eggs, they feed chickens, and they.can walk the poodle.

  294. You Are A Coward says:

    So, you “still feel a little bit” bad about what you did to your poor cat? Why be so hard on yourself? After all, you said she was an “annoyance” and “old & fat”. Of course the cat is going to be upset with you suddenly restricting her to one room after her whole life she’s lived in the whole house. She deserved to be dumped at the pound, didn’t she? Well, karma can be very interesting, my dear. Don’t be too surprised if your ‘baby’ dumps you in a nasty nursing home to rot out your days after YOU become old, fat and annoying. Think about what you did to this helpless animal while you are waiting to die. I don’t think you should have any more kids, OR pets.

    • Carrie says:

      You are ridiculous. The end.

      • babz says:

        i feel the same way , not that you should be dumped in an old folks home, and euthanized, but you didn’t finish taking responsibility for the life you were in charge of. you tossed her into an abandoned pets space so she was really scared and lipped out to be killed in a roomful of other stray and fearful animals. you should have had the guts ot put her to sleep yourself.if you had handled it correctly she never would have been locked in one room away from everybody to go crazy (because that is what happened.)and your daughter did learn animals are disposable, and not important enough to care for till the end.

        • Aurora says:

          Exactly this, babz. She is teaching her child an incredibly bad lesson; treated her cat very poorly; and she has no one to blame but herself. Her cat’s ‘unpleasant’ near-misses sound like they are directly related to being locked away from her family (because that is what the humans were to her). Now this woman feels a “little bad.” She should be ashamed of herself. I pray she never ever brings another animal into her house.

  295. Not-so-uptight-mama says:

    Wow, I realize this post is older, but a lot of the people making these comments are jerks. Do you also suggest Crappy Mama put her kids up for adoption because she writes/draws about how their poop stinks and they don’t behave in restaurants? Give me a break! We all deal with annoyances and this is just a light-hearted and goofy jab at the family pets. I’ve been there. Some people just take things too seriously.

  296. Lindy says:

    Wow there are some crazies on here. I loved this! I am so there. I will totally admit I can’t wait to have a pet free home. The cats were NOT my idea but my, at the time, roommate desperately wanted cats and I do love cats so I said that even though I thought it was a bad idea getting pets as a 21 year old college student in an apartment if she wanted to get a cat I wouldn’t mind. Well of course she ended up picking two extremely quirky cats that she quickly got sick of and was a terrible cat parent to (I was the one who took them to the vet for shots and neutering, she never paid me back, and I think her “discipline” approach of “I’ll throw something at you if you do something that annoys me even if you were alowed to do it yeaterday” is responsible for a lot of the things they do that piss me off), she wanted to just take them to the humane society after a year but I said, No, you make a commitment to pets for life, you don’t just abandon them because you get sick of the whole caring for pets thing, but she said she couldn’t live with them anymore. SO I got my own place and took the cats with me, I did love them to death even though I thought getting them was a bad idea, I ended up waaaaay more attached than the one who actually technically adopted them. Fast forward 7 years and I have 2 kids, 3 and 1, and I totally understand every part of this post. Oh I still take care of them – I nursed each of them though feline fatty liver disease well after I identified with this cartoon, the first with a 11-13 month old, the second while dealing with hyperemesis gravidarium and a 18-19 month old, this involved well over $4,000 in total for vet bills, medicines, and special food, and we are a low single income household, and countless hours of force feeding vile smelling high callorie food (with the first I was force feeding by mouth, this took me upwards of 6 hours a day). If that isn’t love I don’t know what is. But I still think the little monsters are a PITA and though I will never shirk in my responsibility to care for them and will mourn them when they do go, the thought of having a pet free home is blissful, they will NOT be replaced until I am well done with babies and the kids are MUCH older. I am also beyond touched out with two very clingy toddlers, one of whom still nurses like an infant and co sleeps, so when I finally get 5 minutes where no one is touching me and a cat jumps on my lap wanting attention? Yeah, that’s not happening cat, you’re just going to have to be satisfied with the tackle hugs from the one year old.

  297. OddBallGirl92 says:

    Hey, while I agree I wouldn’t choose a pet over my own child, I will say yes I do love animals. While it may bother people that people place importance on animals, it bothers me to hear that humans should be treated so much better than animals. People forget that human beings are animals. They’re classified in Kingdom Animalia, which means they DO feel pain and have feelings. Humans are also responsible for the most damage and death in the world, but people are sitting here and saying “humans are better than animals”. In what way? Other than that we have the intelligence and ability to do things other animals don’t, they also can’t do things we could never do.

    In other wards, I may not be a mother yet and won’t for a while, but I do consider pets important enough to to be taken care of 100%. I don’t know how your view changes when you have a baby about them, other than having less time and being protective of the baby. If the pet isn’t agressive, or sick, then keep the pets. There’s many animals in shelters because people feel pets are disposable and don’t have feelings. They do feel pain and get sick. I always think it’s nuts when people let their kids sit there and beat on the cat/dog, then blame the animal when it attacks their kids. Just like you, all animals have an instinct to fight back if they’re hurt or feeling threatened, and that’s what they did. All because parents can’t be parents, and laughed as the child pulled the dogs ears and beat on it. Why don’t people stop their child from hitting the animal, instead of laughing? It encourages children to be respectful and irresponsible towards animals, and even other humans. If people don’t realize that a baby is going to change them into someone heartless and irresponsible, then they shouldn’t procreate. They also shouldn’t own a pet if they think animals are just animals.

  298. Amy says:

    Hang in there, it will be worth it 🙂 The small (ok big) annoyances the cats bring when the kids are babies is well outshined by the awesomeness that the cats add to the family when the kids get past the age that you have to worry about everything being sanitary or quiet 🙂 Our autistic son is 11 now, and our cat is so great for him (and for the whole family) that we just a few months ago adopted 2 more (kittens that is, not kids)! NEVER thought we’d be a crazy 3-cat family (1-2 cats = normal, 3+ cats = crazy cat lady) but here we are 🙂 The most language we ever get out of our son is when he’s talking about the cats 🙂

  299. Jess says:

    I find it hilarious that you you go back and add the update at the bottom. People are ridiculous.

  300. Katie says:

    “she wasn’t bringing anything to our life but expenses and annoyance, it was time for her to go. We were basically just waiting for her to die” …..sniff. This is so sad. You were her whole world, she loved you and needed your love and that was too much for your selfish self. You are a genuinely bad person.

    • XOXO says:

      Yep and one day she too will just be “extra expenses and care and annoyance” to her children’s lives. Afterall, she’ll taught them that “old, fat, annoying, and needs extra medical attention” means dump her and let’s go. Poor kitty.

      • Helga says:

        Wow. Just wow. While I don’t agree with how she handled it, I extremely don’t agree with such harsh ridicule she’s getting for it. “dumps you in a nasty nursing home to rot out your days”? “You are a genuinely bad person”? Seriously??? So she gave her pet up when she couldn’t handle it anymore. Have any of you bothered to think that PETS COST MONEY?? And if it comes to spending money on an already old and ailing pet vs. being able to provide for your family, I think getting rid of the animal is the most noble thing to do. In fact, that part wasn’t even bad about the story. The bad part was confining the cat to one room of the house. That would by far do more damage to the cat. Being taken to the humane society, the cat was probably euthanized in less than a week.

        • Anna says:

          There are other things to do besides take an animal to the humane society or to put it down. First, find out if they will be euthanized at that shelter as there are some that don’t and will keep the cat as long as it lives. Second, advertize online or in your newspaper for someone to adopt the cat.

          People treat pets as if they are expendable to be tossed away when you experience any life change that makes it inconvenient to own a pet. I’d move heaven and earth to keep my pets, they are my children. If you know or even suspect that you will give an pet away when the going gets rough, than don’t get an animal. That woman is an awful human being and I shudder to think what her children will grow into.

        • Amanda says:

          Yes, pets cost money but when you bring them home you took responsibility for them, they are reliant on you. If you’re surprised that they still require care when a baby is born then you haven’t the sense God gave a stick.

      • Jade says:

        Seriously. Maybe hubby will replace her with someone younger and thinner.

    • Kelly says:

      It’s a friggin animal. Animals are NOT comparable to humans! Why don’t you people get that?

  301. My dog and my daughter were the best of friends form the day I brought baby home from the hospital. Did my dog still get as much attention? or sleep in my bed? No, but she was never more loved. Sadly, my dog passed away, and my second born, my son will not know her. I miss her so much every day, as does my daughter. That love is worth everything, and I wish that every pet owner felt the same.

    • XOXO says:

      Me too, Debbye. 🙂 Thank you for not abandoning your pets or wishing for its death to come soon. So said, this topic and all the comments about people neglecting their pets haunts me.

  302. Chelsea says:

    I got my older dog when I was 19 years old and just barely out on my own. He’s been with me longer than my husband, and our younger dog has been with us since almost the beginning of our relationship. Our older dog is an epileptic who seems to have developed a suicidal taste for chalk and crayons. Our younger dog is so insane that he’s capable of jumping our six-foot tall privacy fence to run after kids trying to say hi as they walk home from school (100% friendly, but still. Not cool.). I have run down our street hollering for him with an infant attached to my boob before. True story. When my daughter was brand new, I put a sign on our door saying that anyone who knocked on our door would be in deep trouble, and to call or text for entrance. Having two dogs and a newborn was HARD. Fast forward three years, and my daughter and our crazy dog? Best. Friends. He’s still rotten. He steals her food, and sometimes when they’re playing, he knocks her over or runs her into a wall. But she loves that dog, and he loves her. His name was one of her first words. I knew when I got my dogs that I was making a commitment, and I have had to make a lot of compromises to keep them in my life. But what am I teaching my daughter by just walking away from our animals? They are our family too, and the transition to this comfortable dynamic we now have has been hard won. I really, really get where the whole “Holy shit, my animals are so annoying right now I want to rip my hair out” feeling comes from. I have SO been there. I still go there sometimes. But I go there with my kid sometimes too. I just have so little respect for people who expect their animals to fit into their cookie-cutter visions, and turn their backs if they don’t like some of the posters here. You’re right, Amber, it is so, so sad.

  303. Linsey says:

    I feel like our culture has become more pet friendly than kid-friendly and that sucks. When I take my kids to the farmer’s market and they get slobbered on and growled at by people’s “fur babies” it makes my head explode. People claiming to love animals like children….. I just don’t get it. Dogs and cats are not people.

    I take pet ownership very seriously, but I am from a time/place where animals were treated as animals – very often as working creatures. You treat them with respect but you don’t coddle them or even have to “love” them. We had dogs and cats and horses growing up, and though they were never neglected, they were not all loved and adored. Its a whole lot of anthropomorphizing to think that a cat or a horse or even a dog cares if you love it or not. It doesn’t.

    Anyway, when I had out first baby we had a dog that I enjoyed. I walked her twice a day and took her on long runs. We’d gotten her at a no-kill shelter and kept up with her training, as best we could, before having children. I was blessed with a colicky sleep resister baby, and even though I wanted to kill my dog when she woke him up…. I didn’t. The dog got walked a lot less because, although she was generally leash trained, when she saw a squirrel it was 120 pounds of force that I could not control, though I tried, and felt it was unsafe with the baby. So she stayed.

    But then we discovered that she didn’t like kids. She didn’t like any kids and would snap at my son and any other child when they got near her. I took her back to the shelter in a hot second. I don’t feel bad about it. (Though I was sad to see her go at the time). Dogs are dogs and I think its ridiculous and irresponsible to keep pets that you have a hard time taking care of and/or that snap at kids.

    • Having a dog that is putting your child or another animal in danger is totally a legitimate reason for re homing an animal or taking it to a shelter. Or when a child is truly allergic to the animal is another reason. My problem are the parents that all of a sudden saw “eww, there is cat hair on the floor that I am too lazy to vacuum up” or litter boxes they are too lazy to relocate where the kids have no access to them. All of a sudden it’s eww! Give me a break. Trust me there is nothing that cat or dog is going subject your precious child to that they won’t ultimately benefit from. And if they do subject them to something “gross” it’s really not going to kill them. Unlike the shelter that will probably kill the animal that you called “friend” before the baby arrived. We are suppose to be smart, don’t tell me the only solution people can come up with is getting “rid” of them. So irresponsible.

  304. Radfie says:

    Goodness people… For those commenting on how hateful a person is who tries to re-home his/her pet after having children, you need to lighten up. Yes, pets are a lot of responsibility, but people change and the pet/new baby household can be extremely overwhelming for some. Not everyone can do it. For those of you who can, great, but not everyone is like you and cares to have such a lifestyle.

    People who re-home their pets are not necessarily bad people; they are just trying to keep their sanity and they have to do what is best for THEIR family! So to those of you who actually foster unwanted pets, kudos to you. For the rest of you who are just making these nasty comments… stop making so much noise and being so judgmental.

    • Kristina says:

      THANK YOU!!!

    • rylinmer says:

      Totally. Like i said on my post, if they have nothing helpful to say, they better be quiet. Every one is different and every one changes, sometimes without an explanation.

      thank you.

      • And being helpful would mean making you people feel better about disposing of an animal that you made a commitment to care for?
        Sorry, I can’t offer that kind of help and I will never be quiet as long as there are people out there that believe a living breathing animal is worth little because it is not human. Who are you to make that judgement call?

    • And people like you are the reason we have so many animals in our shelters because you come up with some lame excuse for being irresponsible and label with “I am just trying to do what is right for my family”. Maybe people should think about the commitment it will take BEFORE they get animals in the first place. Amazing how you make this right in your own head. If the child is truly more important then setting a good example for them by teaching them responsibility, respect and kindness should be at the top of that priority list. Getting “rid” of a animal that you took responsibility to care for is the wrong kind of example for any child no matter how you try to sugar coat it.

  305. CA says:

    Wow. The majority of you people sound absolutely horrid. Pets rock. Screw you, breeders. Moo!

  306. rylinmer says:

    Some of you better stop judging for the love of God. I have always had dogs and looooved my dogs specially the last one a mini dachshound that my husband got me as a present 5 years ago. Some of us changed completely when we have kids, we do not choose to dislike our pets, it just happens, and just like me i TRIED and keep tring so hard so love my mini as i did before, i even play with her so my son learns to play nicely with her and be nice to her, but i do not have the same feelings towards her as i did before, she to me now is irritating, annoying in every leve, don’t ge me wrong i feel soo bad feeling like this, but what do i do?
    Stop judging and calling people names, that is so inmature, every one in this blog is an adult and we are all different. So If you have nothing helpful to say, just SHUT UP and keep it to yourself.

    • For the sake of your child get some counseling. It is no where near normal to dislike your animal because you had a baby. Sorry to burst your bubble. And telling people to SHUT UP is about as grown up as calling someone names. Just Saying.

  307. Lydia says:

    I have 2 male cats aged 18 months and I love them as much as I love my 1yr old daughter. They may get under my feet, meow at the wrong time, want to be let out at stupid early o’clock, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  308. JoyM says:

    I could have written this blog post myself! Wonderful and accurate to a “T”! Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh! (sorry about the comments taking such a turn there..but really, wonderful post!)

  309. Helga says:

    You’re ridiculous. Just sayin’…

  310. Elisabeth says:

    I had to find new homes for my kitties when my son was born highly allergic to cats (like vomiting, hive covered, etc. for several months before we figured it out) … I cried for months … now, 4 years later, thinking about pets grosses me out … it’s the poo stamp that gets me every time – you are so right, they should wear little shorts!

  311. Rebecca Emin says:

    I loved and laughed at this post, as always, but the picture that made me go “aaah awww” was the toddler asleep like a little star shape… so very cute!

  312. kristy says:

    this is awesome. it actually makes me less mad at my cat because apparently all cats do it. i thought she was just trying to piss me off. i never see her until i’m putting my 2 year old to bed and then she continuously meows so loud for about an hour, making my daughter’s sleepy eyes shoot open into play mode because she hears her precious cat. seriously? what a jerk. my husband thinks it’s hilarious.

  313. Wow. I think most of you need to look up the word “love” and find out what it really means before you go throwing it around expecting people to believe it. You claim to love these animals before the “baby” came. You didn’t love anything. When we bring animals into our lives it is a responsibility for the lifetime of that animal. They are not disposable and treating them with such little respect because you now have something you feel is “more important” than them is totally irresponsible not to mention heartless which makes me believe you had no business having children at all. No wonder kids are all screwed up. What kind of parent thinks that his is ok behavior? Talk about failing your children in the most important lessons you can teach them in life about love, respect, responsibility and kindness.
    This is not ok, you people joke like this is funny but it’s really not funny at all. You have an obligation when you bring children into this world to teach them respect, to be responsible and to be kind, their future depends on it. Animals are not things, they feel just like you do, they fear just like you do no matter what excuses you want to label your behavior with it will never make it right.
    I have kids, two beautiful, healthy daughters, one is 18 years old and one is 7 years old and they have both been raised with not just one cat but multiple cats in the household. Dogs too. Even Fish. They have watched me rescue countless animals through the years and have even helped me with their care. The lessons they have learned over the years is that we all matter here and yes we may be the superior being on earth but that means we are under even more of an obligation to make sure that the animals in our care are treated right because we know better. I am not saying it’s easy to care for kids and animals in the same house, it’s not easy, I am totally wiped out at the end of the day. But you know what? When I see my seven year old outside playing with her friends and she stops one of them from throwing rocks at a cat, or being mean to a dog, something in me finds the energy again tomorrow to face the litter boxes and the cat puke and the cat hair on my clothes, in my phone and up my nose. When my daughter refers to my best friend Mikey who happens to be a cat who is older than her as her “older brother” it makes me smile. I know, having a cat for a brother may sound silly to you but that’s really not the lesson here, the lesson is that she has grown up in a household where Mikey’s rights exist along with hers. We coexist in this house, because it belongs to all of us, just as this earth belongs to all of us and we must find a way to co exist together peacefully.
    You may think I am making more of this that it is but you are wrong because the most important lessons we learn in this life are learned at home by those who set an example for us on being human. Having a cat and a baby is not so difficult, it may take a little extra work to make sure things stay clean and extra effort to make sure the cat knows that some things are now off limits but it is absolutely worth the effort and the time. Watching kids and animals grow up together is amazing, the bond they create with one another is truly magical and you would be surprised at how much more you love your animal when a few years down the road you all of a sudden realize how much your animal loves your child now.
    Give it time, it doesn’t happen over night but not much ever does happen over night that is worth anything. It takes time, for everyone to figure out their place in the family once the child is born but eventually everyone does. And when the kids are off and now playing with their friends and you no longer are the center of their universe, you will look over and see that little furry someone on your bed who still believes you hold every star in the sky. Trust me, it feels good to still have my best friend and it feels good to know that I didn’t take the easy way out when my kids were born by turning my back on the animals I claimed to love just because I had a baby.
    How do you claim to have loved something that you now view as just a bother? Maybe it’s time you took a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself if this is the kind of person you really want to be? Better yet, is this the kind of person you want your kids to be?

    We must fight against the spirit of unconscious cruelty with which we treat the animals. Animals suffer as much as we do. True humanity does not allow us to impose such sufferings on them. It is our duty to make the whole world recognize it. Until we extend our circle of compassion to all living things, humanity will not find peace.

    ~Albert Schweitzer, The Philosophy of Civilization

    • AC says:

      I’ve read through some of these comments and your post and replies to the posts of others really stood out to me. Clearly, you are convinced that you are the perfect mother, pet owner, etc and that anyone who disagrees with you in the mildest way is an appaling member of the human race. Here in the South we call such folks “holier than thou” and recommend you stop throwing stones from your glass house. I hope the next time you lose your (apparently infinite) patience you feel a real twinge of guilt for all of the attacks you put out there towards others. Sometimes relationships don’t work. It’s sad but it happens in human-human relationships half the time; shouldn’t come as a shock that it also happens in human-animal relationships.

  314. And to be clear…to the poster of this article….I actually found this post to be very cute and amusing and did not take it in the awful way that I have taken some of the horrible comments left here. My comment is to them not you.
    Just wanted to make that clear.

  315. “I don’t hold animals superior or even equal to humans. The whole case for behaving decently to animals rests on the fact that we are the superior species. We are the species uniquely capable of imagination, rationality and moral choice – and that is precisely why we are under an obligation to recognize and respect the rights of animals.”
    –Brigid Brophy

  316. Jan says:

    OMG, you have told the story of my life. Thank you. And I used to be a cat rescuer who must have bottle-fed 300 baby kittens in the 7 years before I had children. We have found a great home for one of our 3 cats. Only two more homes to go!

    Seriously though, I think of it like this: I was, and am, a big-time nurturer. But there is only so much nurturing one human being can give. Kids suck it all right out of you, especially when they are little.

  317. I love my children *and* I love my cats. There’s enough love for everyone.

  318. I snorted my head off at these pictures. I get up at night and can’t sleep. The cats are all over me at my computer in the dark.

  319. Ariannis says:

    I can completely relate to this! I am 100% animal lover! We have 6 dogs and 3 cats at my house, and they have all always been my “fur kids.” I groom dogs for a living. My main hobby is dog showing/training. I quite literally have surrounded my life with animals by my choice. Now all that said, my son is 3 months old and a lot has changed around my house. My baby is always on my lap so the dogs have to sit next to me, not on top of me. They are not allowed to sleep with us until the baby is a little bigger for the baby’s safety. When I go places, the dogs almost always stay home because I can’t carry everything for baby and dogs! I feel terrible for them, but they also annoy me constantly, and they never used to. I’m sure this will pass as the baby grows, but it is definitely a different feeling from what I’m used to.

  320. Liah says:

    Love the post but the responders are disturbing and disgusting. For all my kids births we had the same two lovely cats. After their deaths from old age I took each one to the shelter to pick out their own cat. We now have 4 cats (1 is mine) ages 1-4 who are loved and played with daily. Pets make more compassionate and responsible children. We are moving this next summer and plan on a puppy after that. If you can no longer handle your pets please find them a good home instead of the abandonment. Oh, and when my little one sleeps we shut the door and used a monitor so the cats won’t wake him. His cat purrs so loudly it wakes my son up 🙂

  321. Molly says:

    Haha, this is great. I have two rescue cats that I rescued when they were little kittens. Before my daughter came, they were my babies. I even sent out a Xmas card with them as the picture.

    Then my daughter arrived. I still love the cats, but dang are they annoying as all get out. They are constantly waking my daughter up and getting underfoot when I am holding her.

    I do still let the kitties sleep with me and I make sure to give them a lot of love after my daughter does to sleep for the night. They are pretty good with her and she likes to kiss them and pet them “nai”, her word for nice.

    My husband and I will never get rid of them, they are part of the family, but sometimes it is nice to think about.

  322. Lesley says:

    Hell, the things that your cats do that annoy you are the same things my cats do that annoy me–and I don’t have any kids! 🙂

    And let me assure everyone that I adore and take excellent care of my cats. Life all about taking the good with the bad.

  323. Melissa says:

    I completely agree with you! My cat was my baby until I had my first child. I don’t know if it’s hormonal or what, but my feelings completely changed afterwards.

  324. Lynn says:

    I honestly don’t think my cats annoy me any more now that I have a baby. I openly acknowledge that my fur babies annoyed me before & they still do. So does my non-furry baby & my husband. I understand what this original post is talking about though since my cats (and husband) have found new ways to annoy me.

    Some of these comments though, dang. Responsible rehoming is sometimes necessary, same for sometimes taking measures to keep baby and pets separate for awhile, but abandoning or wishing death on a living being that is a responsibility that you took on is cruel, terrible and heartless regardless of the species or annoyance level of that being. If there are serious problems (like a pet posing harm to the well being of a child) that’s one thing, but “OMG my cat meows and my dog barks! I hope they die,” shows a lack of basic human decency.

  325. Randie Sanders says:

    If anyone says this isnt true they are perfect, a liar, or dont have children! This is EXACTLY how its been for us!

  326. Lotuschick says:

    As someone who worked with animals my whole life before becoming a stay at home mommy, and,yes, treated my cats and dogs like my children, when I actually HAD children, the four legged in the house became, *gasp* “pets”, yes, still part of the family, just not as highly up on the ladder as the kiddos. And sorry, but as part of the family, they are subjected to ridicule and being called out on their crap just like everyone else, lol! Lighten up people, no one is saying they have become animal haters, just that their priorities have shifted as well as their tolerance for annoying idiosyncrasies, I still love my four legged family members, but lets face it all family members annoy the hell out of you at times!

  327. Myoubi says:

    That kind of heartless behavior you and the majority of moms here scares me…yout lack of empathy for a life you say you used to love makes me wonder how you would act towards a person that for some reason turns out to be less important to you. What would hold you off? The law? I’m going to reinforce the love and healthy relationship my kid has with animals. Just the thought that my kid might grow up to disregard and disrespect other species specially those that help us and bring joy and fun to our lives gives me the creeps.

  328. Lee says:

    I understand that pets making a mess or waking the baby can be annoying. But that is your pet, and you made a commitment. It’s not your child vs. your cat. My daughter LOVES our cats. When she was 2, my oldest cat died from kidney failure, and at 3 she still asks about him sometimes because she misses him. What kind of lesson are you teaching your children by treating your pets as if they are disposable? Do you think they don’t notice? I want to cry reading the posts of people who dumped their older pets at a shelter. How confused and scared their poor pet must have been, before probably eventually being euthanized. I truly believe lack of care and compassion for animals translates into the same attitude toward people.

  329. jenny says:

    maybe its belated as I read this out of the archives but I am horrified about some of the comments on here. Shame on you hurtful, nasty people. If you can’t see the funny humor in ALL of Amber’s posts, then live and let live and don’t read the blog. Criticism is not your absolute right, on her blog or anyone’s comments. Would you talk to anyone here that way if they were standing right in front of you? Probably not. Amber, if you read this, I love your blog, and appreciate your humor and honesty in saying the things that we all think at one time or another.

    • Lisa says:

      I was thinking this too. I’ve only discovered this blog in the last few days but enjoyed it so much I’ve read every post. As a mom of 2, almost every single post resonated with me in one way or another. I swear, get snarky, am exhausted and sometimes (now my kids are big enough to understand I don’t really mean it) tell my kids I’m going to set them outside with a for sale sign. I applaud parents who have limitless energy and patience… But I’m not one of them. Does this mean I don’t love my kids with every fiber of my being? Does this means I should never have had children?
      As far as the kids/pets thing goes, I think it comes back to that energy thing. Along with general optimism and how laid back you can be. Kids sap your energy like nothing else. I had cats, they never kept me up all night with a fever, or requested 19 stories, or wanted me to rock them to sleep. You can ignore a cat chasing around the house, but you can’t ignore your child. And if you’ve spent a long time getting said child to sleep, you’re more than likely going to be annoyed when your furbaby decides to chase imaginary flying mice.
      Some people can handle more than others. Some people have a better sense of humour than others. And some people apparently need to make themselves better by slapping down anyone who isn’t just like them.
      Love your work, Crappy Mama. It’s nice to know we aren’t alone in the crazy.

  330. Vicky says:

    I have a cat and dog. The cat has that obnoxious meowing tendency as well but her cuddling on the couch and sleeping with me at night makes up for it. My dog hates the UPS, FedEx and outside cats, they tend to come around when someone is napping. BUT all 3 of my kids adore her, she is a great dog and is still a wonderful member of our family.

  331. Rachel says:

    Geez a wiz at these comments. I hardly ever read the comments below, I did this time because I saw Amber said she couldn’t believe she had to update this post due to other people’s comments. I come on this blog because it cracks me up and is on the same humor level as me. Saying really funny things and horrible things that we’re all thinking but don’t act out or say (well, i say them, to my crappy husband – who is actually an amazing husband, but crappy husband is a fun name, i’m going to call my husband that when he comes home from work today and see what he says, haha! this will be fun, Hi Crappy Husband welcome home. I can picture it now). But these comments are just ridiculous. women are so “catty”, haha, get it, CATty. Because we’re talking about cats, so it’s relevant. Half of these comments/conversation woudln’t be said if we weren’t on the internet. Ill still with reading the crappy pictures part only.

  332. Steve says:

    This is horrifying. Remember, people – your children will live the example that you set. Treat your pets like trash and watch how your kids treat you when you’re old.

    In my 43 years I don’t recall ever running across anyone so unabashedly soulless as some of the women on this board. Makes me happy I drew the homo straw. It’s really sad.

  333. Kay says:

    This is the first post I’ve read of your blog I read it last night , I got a chuckle, I have dogs, but the people who read this blog and have left comments are terrible , I run a daycare in my home , 4 months 9 months 18 months 2,3,7,7, and today at nap time when everything goes nuts ,my dog follows me around as I take the littles to cribs she goes and snuggles the olders for quiet time I couldn’t appreciate her more,her needs are a bowl filled a blanket lifted so she can snuggle under with you and a door opened occasionally she is te easiest in this house can’t imagine life with out her <3 btw the last comment is the best LOL!^

  334. Jenn says:

    Animal lovers are batshit crazy. Seriously. Its not like these women are sneaking anti-freeze into there cat’s bowls. They are just not totally dreading the natural ageing and dieing process of their pets. And having kids is hard. Those of you who have not yet or never will have children have no right to include yourself in this conversation. You dont know what it is like and your hate is obnoxious.

  335. I completely agree!!! I have a 9 month old daughter and our cat is freaking insane. One furry ball of energy. She ATTACKS my baby! It’s hard for us to go a week without a freaking cat scratch on her face, head, hands, arms, etc. It’s getting really old!!! Not to mention when she’s insane and jumps in the pack n play while baby is sleeping and scratches the shit out of her. I’m SOOOO over it, but hubby doesn’t want to give the cat away. A water squirt bottle has become my best friend.

  336. Telly says:

    I felt annoyed by my two Pekingese (8 and 9 years old) when I first had my baby, but I felt that everything was spinning out of control and I needed a lot of help because I couldn’t do it all. I got that help and everything improved almost overnight.

    Then…my baby became a toddler and wanted to constantly touch and poke at the dogs and they did not like it. Pekes are not a kid friendly breed. They’d hide, and my girl dog became stuck under a bed because she was trying so hard to escape my toddler. Even though I was in the same room as them, my dogs would overreact and snap and growl or flee like the building was on fire. I gave them a room to themselves for six months while I tried to deal with the toddler being mean to them. We had petting lessons and brushing lessons and she learned “ouch” and “that hurts” and I’ve been able to leave their bedroom door open more and more before toddler starts bothering them too much again. My daughter is 27 months old and even now she can’t be trusted to be alone with them for even one minute, but I’m hopeful that she’ll get better about it soon and even though my dogs don’t like her and won’t play with her that they’ll at least peacefully coexist.

    It’s a long process and it takes time and effort but you shouldn’t write your pets off just because they inconvenience you. Every living thing has its own personality and if my dogs don’t ever like my daughter that’s ok.

  337. Jason says:

    When you dying in your home your 5 year old can call 911. After a few days you will smell more like meat and your fur babies will likely eat you. Its happened. It will happen again.

  338. Noelle says:

    Don’t worry about the haters on here (it’s the internet – they will always be there). I just had a mini-breakdown about this very issue today – except instead of two cats, substitute two 100-lb dogs and one cat. I won’t go into detail about it, but suffice to say I know how you feel. I have always loved animals – always had them, always loved them – so to feel frequently irritated or even angry with my pets is not pleasant. Of course I still make sure they are fed and walked and everything, and I try to get some petting time in, but it just feels like a 5 year old and a 2 year old suck up all my patience and all my emotional energy. I hope I will come back to truly enjoying my pets.

  339. kiwi says:

    This is the story of my life right now. Im actually rehoming my 2 kitties that I had for 7yrs bc i can’t take it :,( I truly thought it be different with me but i failed big time at being a fur mama and real mama and real mama is more important :,( I still find this amusing, bc its true

  340. mnh says:

    Actually.. This is how we got the majority of our pets when I was growing up. A stray would wander into the yard (or kitchen in one instance). We would feed it. It would decide to stay.

    We did inherit a couple cats, and were given everything from hedgehogs to iguanas by people who got tired of them.

  341. mnh says:

    Love this blog.

    It’s funny how kids change your perspective on pets. On a fun twist, my dad went from hating our cat to loving it because of his kids.

    Starting around age 5, I got these awful night terrors until my dad discovered that if he put me to bed with the cat, I slept through the night. If I did wake up from nightmares, as long as the cat was around I’d go straight back to sleep with no fear, no crying, and no waking up Mom and Dad.

    In a week, he went from barely tolerating that cat to preparing the cat special gourmet treats in the morning and referring to it as “that marvelous creature.”

  342. Christine says:

    We have our Doberman who’s going to turn 2 this year, and our 9 month old baby. Both are our loves, both are our children (we had him before the baby and he was basically treated as a spoiled kid, haha), and me and my hub’s love for our poochie has never wavered or faltered with the birth of our daughter. We’ve taken the time to train him from puppyhood so there is absolutely no issues with anything (barking, crazy behavior, etc) and he is an absolute gem with our 9 month old daughter. And you people who haven’t trained or taught your dogs to do anything wonder why they’re behaving poorly?

    Some of the people on here need to be more responsible for the lives (i.e. pets) they are taking home and promising to raise. A pet is for keeps. While I enjoyed the article, all these comments are so so so sad. Pets are work, pets can get expensive, that’s a no brainer. People that give away their pets when it’s convenient shouldn’t have ever had a pet, nor ever own one. Ever again. If your dog can’t be trusted, that’s your fault for not training or teaching them. If your cats are being CATS, that’s what you signed up for when choosing a cat.

    Do the shelters a favor and don’t get anymore pets, lest they end up back there when they’re “old fat and annoying”. Ugh.

  343. Christine says:

    Oh, and I mean no disrespect to the site owner… I do love all of your ‘crappy’ photos and your posts. But I must say, you draw way better than me. 🙂

  344. Mommyof7 says:

    I laughed at the post. It’s clear some of the comments (anthropomorphizing animals–sheesh, can you tell nobody lives on a farm anymore?) are from folks who have no clue what it’s like to have to spend every. waking. moment. (and many moments you’d normally be sleeping) protecting and caring for babies and toddlers, or how absorbing and exhausting that stage of life can be. 🙂 It’s nothing like caring for a pet (especially a cat). We’ve had at least a cat since my oldest child was one, and we loved that cat–best cat who ever lived (Siamese)–and miss her to this day…but even she gave us many annoying moments, and yes, she was definitely lower on the totem pole than the baby. Luckily, cats do not suffer one bit from a little benign neglect.

    We’ve since owned almost every kind of pet imaginable, including exotic reptiles, fish, turtles, birds, various rodents, laying hens, ducks, dog, cat, caged birds, etc. and found them to be a great learning experience for the kids–but yes, sometimes it’s a bit much for mama when littles are around. We’re out of the baby/toddler stage now and it’s much easier since the kids can do chores and nobody crawls or eats stuff off the floor anymore. 🙂 So yes, pets are wonderful but can be annoying, and aren’t as important as children, but teach important life-lessons to them. What’s so hard about that? Anyway, cute post, and someone out there is probably busily sewing kitty bloomers as I type. Ha!

  345. Mo says:

    You are a jerk. It is asinine to assume that animals must be kept away from kids. You are supposed to train your kids to treat animals properly. Unpleasant near misses – that was a warning from the cat, you twit. You should feel like a jack ass for the rest of your life.

  346. Mama of a kid & dog says:

    This last paragraph is SPOT ON.

    I had a dog pre kid, and love my dog just as much now. And my kid (who I taught to be respectful to animals) LOVES her dog & the dog loves her. She protects my child and goes to sleep with her every night now that my daughter is in a toddler bed, although my little doggie (now 8 1/2) still comes to mommy & daddy every night once my daughter is asleep.

  347. Paula says:

    Candy, you are unbelievable. If they were indoors and you suddenly throw them outside, they won’t know how to fend for themselves as well as cats born and raised outdoors.

    Also, if I loved my animals as your husband did, I’d want to know they’d be taken care of after my death. I don’t know how you can sleep at night. Why not just put forth some effort and find them a nice home?

    And for the other commenters suggesting you should get some kind of medal for not killing them, that’s outrageous.


    • SassyDandelion says:

      Uh. No. Our cat went from being and indoor cat to an outside cat just fine. There is this crazy thing called “instincts” that seem to take over… Weird.

  348. AC says:

    I have 2 pugs, 1 cat, a pet husband, and a 2 year old. I, too judged the animal-hater mothers that loathed their pets after birth of child and swore never to do it myself. I, too became a raving lunatic after baby and hated everyone and everything else. I felt terribly guilty, but I have a theory on this. I have a finite amount of daily patience that is directly correlated to the amount of sleep I get. Baby gets first patience priority and that’s just a biological fact that keeps our species alive. Otherwise, we would eat our young. Anyhoo – this means that on any given day, I will most likely have moments of wanting to kill my pets and my husband and possibly all of them. I get over it. No one dies. I just curse and scream a lot. When I scream at the toddler I have exceeded my daily patience allotment and need a mommy time-out.

    And a note of encouragement – we recently moved and our cat bolted. I had been feeling badly about my not-as-ecstatic pet ownershipness and had the crisis of conscience that my brain was saying, “well life is easier with one less litter box” while my heart was screaming at my husband to “get out there and find our little baby kitty right this d**n minute or I will throw you out with him you SOB who opened the garage door.” Heart won out, I do still love my cat. I just had to be reminded. And he returned and now we are one big, happy, screaming family.

  349. Laura says:

    This is the post that got me hooked! I was totally the same way with my cats. I actually made my husband promise that he would give my cat 10 minutes of attention each day if I ‘turned’ on her and our first kiddo was born. He held up to his promise, well until my ‘baby’ turned 3 and claimed the cat as her own. 🙂

  350. Caitlin E says:

    Pretty sure you read my mind when drawing this. Do you have telepathic powers? Cause I’m pretty sure you do…
    LOVE it!

  351. RobotDog says:

    I just don’t get it why so many people are flipping out over a comedy article.

  352. Garth says:

    Interesting food for thought.

  353. Dingo says:

    I love this post but hate the comments of the animal haters and the pro-animal people too. Everyone is insane.

  354. KARA says:

    Understandable! My little dog was my baby until I had two babies in 2 years and he became third in line. He was still loved and fed and cared for and was slightly annoying like many mention. However I have to say…..TREASURE THEM. We had my little dog put to sleep a few weeks ago and it devastated us all. I now miss the barking, I miss the claws on the wood floor and the kids talk about him all the time. TRY and enjoy them…..they are not there forever. x

  355. Ula says:

    This is a message to the author, not all the crazy people above. I totally agree and relate to the annoyance. I love my animals of course, but gosh, I wish they wouldn’t meow RIGHT at the moment my daughter takes a nap. I swear, it’s like they know.

  356. melissa says:

    This is interesting. I have a 4 year old and a 7 month old. And a little black kitty. We adopted the cat for my (3 year old at the time) and THEN I found out I was having a second child, so we pretty much added the cat and a new baby in the same year, but honestly I couldn’t be happier with the kitty, she doesn’t annoy me one bit…she is just one of my babies lol…also she actually plays with the 4 year old like she thinks the 4 year old is another’s funny..they chase each other around…anyway…whoever said “you’ll understand when you have kids” Doesn’t take in to account everyone is different 🙂

  357. Wowee Powee says:

    nsg – please don’t get a pet until you can act like a mature adult, probably not a good idea. Being irritated with your pet isn’t abnormal. Being irritated with your kid isn’t abnormal. Being irritated with your geriatric parent isn’t abnormal. Venting isn’t abnormal. This is all normal human behavior. If you can accept the notion that animals act like animals, why is accepting the notion that humans will act like humans all that difficult?

  358. Wowee Powee says:

    Wow, your mom was actually like that in real life? That’s so sad. I assume most people here are just venting. Our cat was just found after being lost two weeks and my daughter and I were both frantic about it. Although it is amazing, unlike some of the judgemental posts on the other side that I’ve seen above, you seemed to have turned out alright.

  359. Wowee Powee says:

    It’s called venting. Try it sometime. It actually gives you an outlet beyond screaming or doing inappropriate things with your kid or pet. Please don’t own a pet if you have no outlet for your emotions. Please don’t own a pet if you can’t even get around being judgemental with people because you will not be a very good pet parent. Please don’t own a pet if you are unable to chill out.

    • Aurora says:

      Doing inappropriate things with your child or pet…? Wtf?!?! So talking about wanting them to die is OK because you’re not actually killing them??

  360. says:

    I had my cat Chaos before my son was born and adored him and still adored him till the day he died. He was wonderful with my son who would grab great handfuls of kitty fur and yank and chaos took it like a champ. My son would drag him all over the house and Chaos never once complained. My son loved him, we loved him. A month ago when he died was probably the hardest day ever for the kids. (I now have step kids all these years later as well as my son) Every one of the kiddos loved Chaos. He was a champion among kitties. The best of the best. He NEVER got on counters. Cats CAN be trained guys…it takes dedication though. Animals and kiddos can coexist wonderfully. Chaos was family. On Thanksgiving he got a small bit of turkey just like everyone else…when I made the kids tuna sandwiches they’d get so excited over who got to bring him the tuna water. We grew him catnip in our garden and they took turns bringing him a few leaves every few days. I just want all you mama’s out there to know…it CAN be done. And it can be wonderfully rewarding for you as well as the kiddos.

  361. Charlotte says:

    I always kept my dog separated from my babies with a baby gate. When my child was old enough to understand more things and the gates came down, all the kids and my pup played in harmony. I still never fully trusted her around my small kids (and vice versa), though, and the more kids I had, the less time I had to monitor her play time with them, so she was transferred to the lanai to live for my children’s safety, and also for her own safety three years ago. She was getting old and tired, and it’s the place she loved the most anyway due to being able to bark at the critters outside. However, if she had ever snapped at one of my kids, she would have been gone in a second! I don’t care what anyone says, my children are my children and my dog is my dog – they are nowhere near the same! I would give my life for one of my children, but not my dog…

    And to the person who said, “what if one child bites another… blah, blah, blah” – I’m pretty sure I have never heard on the news how a sibling ate his baby sibling’s face off! Animals are unpredictable as has been proven many, many times. If you don’t mind having an animal in your home that can snap at any second and eat your kid alive, then go for it – it’s your kid. Nice to know you hold your pet to the same standards as your child. I sure hope your child gets first priority should he/she and your pet be drowning at the same time!

    And Amber (I believe that is your name, forgive me, I’m a newbie here…and too lazy right now to scroll up), don’t feel sad – you’ve done nor said anything wrong. You sound like a great mother to your children…and that’s all that matters!

  362. MeowMeow says:

    Some of you people are true monsters. People who are so callous towards animals shouldn’t be breeding & raising people that might be just as callous as them.

  363. Eran says:

    Ok, so there seems to be some very quick nasty assumptions here… Ones with the idea of if you hate your animals you should never reproduce because in their opinion you will be unable to feel affection for the creature you give birth to… Well, I would just like to say, I am an animal lover, I always have been. But I don’t like living with (the average) cats. Their scat contains bacteria that can cause serious illness, and even blindness, this same scat that sits in the litter and they bury it, then they go get on your counters, tables, chairs, couches, and here is a good one.. YOUR BED, and the beds of your KIDS. With this contaminated litter on their paws, they go curl up on your family beds and lick themselves. (Just to be clear, I actually do own a cat, and I do love her… But if she were another cat, I would have turned her into the shelter when I could legally do so after caring for her for six weeks and NO luck with finding her owners. This being said, she is an exception, not the rule. She doesn’t get on my counters or table, she sleeps on the end of the bed, just out of reach should you want to, you know, pet her or something. She shadows me around, but is rarely in front of my feet, I love her to bits for it, though, not literally… Also she doesn’t often want held and doesn’t cuddle) That being said, I also have three kids. I don’t love them less because I love my cat. And I don’t love my cat less then my kids, but if she were curling up by my kids face, fresh out of the litter box, I would have some very real safety concerns about it. That doesn’t mean I should not have reproduced, nor does it mean I should never own a pet because I am unfit for one. I think anyone that is willing to put that concern aside because they love their animals oh so very much as to risk their kids rather than putting their own children first, is being very judgmental of people who OBVIOUSLY are NOT YOU. Just saying…

  364. Mia says:

    I have an adopted sister. She sometimes would feel that she is lessed love because she is adopted. I find that once you get a get they become a part of your family. When people say that your kid us more important because it’s your flesh and blood it makes me sad. Why cant everyone be loved equally. When my sister feels that she is loved less just because she is adopted, it really makes me feel bad. I wonder if pets feels that way too. That ghey are replaceable.

  365. Leanne says:

    Oh the truthfulness of this is refreshing! I love my cats I do. I had them when my now 4 year old was 6 months old. One pretty much lives outside, his choice. I’d much rather him be in where I know he’s safe from the neighborhood terrorist kids. But hey ho, can’t win em all. However, despite my love for my boys, and I’ve always called them the boys, I really would love a full nights sleep. I’d love to not have to watch out for my attention seeking cat after a long day in work and doing the mum thing on the stairs when I really need the loo! I also have a dog, and yep, I adore her like she was my child too but really Mollie do you have to be next to me every second of the day?! I look at my prized betta fish and often think, why didn’t I discover fish keeping first? Then I remember how warm a staffy or a cats cuddles are when I’m alone in the evenings (single parent) or just need a wet nose to remind me I’m loved.

  366. Bonnie Layman says:

    Too funny. I can totally relate. I was reading some of the comments and I can’t believe how your cute post turned into a huge animal debate. Wow. I think cats should wear underwear too 😉

  367. Jessica says:

    I still like my cat, but lord help her if she meow’s when my daughter has finally fallen asleep! ><

  368. These Comments...Wow says:

    I honestly can’t believe some of you obviously put pets before children. I don’t care how long I’ve had a pet, my husband and children will ALWAYS come first. Always. I’d never neglect an animal. I believe we domesticated them so we’re responsible for their care. But they will never come before ANY human, even a stranger. If you, my kids and our family pet were trapped in a building on fire, I’d save you in this order: My kids, you, THEN if humanly possible I’d go back for the pet. Sorry I’m weird and think people are more important than animals, I’m a terrible person, I know. *eyeroll*

  369. multiplemadness says:

    Some pets are much easier work than others. Some kids are much easier work than others. I have twins, one is autistic and the other is the most challenging kid in terms of behaviour and MUCH harder work than his brother.
    We got a dog, who was doted, adored and we did everything with.

    Then I had the twins and even a few years on I struggle to survive day to day. Touched out isn’t even the half of it. They still wake up every single night.

    I suspect the people who say “there is always enough love to go around” had babies who slept? And hahahahaha to the person who said shut the door and the baby won’t wake. Putting him DOWN woke him for the first nine months. Finally he’d settle if I lay right next to him, but its taken a good few years for me leaving and the door closing to not wake him.

    And my dog whines. She whines about everything. She whined more when she got more attention before the kids arrived so don’t suggest its attention based.

    I love her but would rehome because I simply can’t cope.

    But my husband refuses to let her go as he doesn’t trust anyone else to look after her properly.

    All kids are different, and all pets are different. Don’t assume that because it works for you, it works well and harmoniously for everyone. In fact, congratulations to people who struggle to balance it all and still are fighting through, you people who happily keep pets and kids can come help me out sometime!

    There’s some very judgemental people on this thread. I totally agree the article above is hilarious. I’m never getting a cat. At least our dog doesn’t moult!

  370. Linda Love says:

    It is 3:43 am and I am laughing my head off with your posts. I can’t believe I didn’t find you years ago!
    We have 4 CATS and can REALLY relate to what you say about them!
    That obviously doesn’t mean we don’t love them to death. They just often get on our nerves, just like any housemate would!
    What I like most is when they feel the need to rub their little whiskers on my kids’s faces when they’re sleeping! ARGH!!!

  371. Lisa says:

    LOL, this is wonderful and I so relate.

  372. Macca says:

    Some people on this thread need to get a life. Nothing more than scorned trolls.

    Funny article by the way – all pet owners have a moment of annoyance at some point – it’s only natural!

  373. Gumball says:

    I got my cats on accident, but I still love them like I loved the pets I picked. My husband and I are trying to get pregnant, and maybe I’m weird, but I don’t think my cats will piss me off more than usual once I have a baby. My girl cat tends to eat too fast and then throw up, and my boy cat eats fabric/plastic (don’t worry we have edited the environment so they don’t have access) and when they see a cat through the window they poop next to the litter box instead of in it (so we make the outdoor cats go away with some repellant). He is long hair and white and his sister is short hair and black. We vacuum frequently and I shave the boy cat when he gets hot or gets a mat under his legs. With planning to have the baby we bought a carpet cleaner and it isn’t much more work than vacuuming.

    I work with kids and even though they are a lot of work I don’t see myself hating my cats. My cats are actually comforting after a bad day, and they are very clean. Maybe I’m not OCD enough but I think my cats are cleaner than kids and cleaning up after them is about the same, except I don’t have to touch cat poop but will have to wipe a baby.

  374. Margaret says:

    I LOVE your phrase, “Butt-stamp!” It’s SO true! My husband and I have now embraced it in our daily lexicon. As a matter of fact, my kitty just put an actual, brown, grody butt-stamp on the couch the other day. I had to break out the Resolve and spot-clean it! EEEEWWWWW!
    But I wouldn’t trade my kitty away for anything. She’s the best <3

  375. Heather says:

    Absolutely hilarious and absolutely true! LOL

  376. mmbris says:

    Pretty sure there are some waiting for you to die as well. Ta ta.

  377. mmbris says:

    Wow. These comments just prove a lot of unfit/unhealthy people were allowed to own animals, sadly. I feel bad for the animals. Like, really bad.

  378. Mama Jo says:

    We got our dog Fang when I was four months pregnant. The boys wanted a puppy, but I put my foot down. We adopted an adult shelter dog who loves kids and me especially as well as any other critter that will play with him. But he also likes to be right next to me…all the time. Literally, I can’t even go to the bathroom. He also always want to lick the baby. As long as she doesn’t cry I don’t mind. But leaving his toys on the stairs, which is new, or sprinting from room to room like a smack junky is not so appealing when I’m trying to walk with an infant in my arms. I love my dog dearly but there are days I want to strangle him… But then again I have days I feel that way about my husband too. 😉

  379. K says:

    I hope that when you are old, fat, and unable to keep yourself too clean, your children abandon you into the “Never Visited” section of the old folks home.

    People like you are scum.

  380. Karen says:

    Actually, people are animals. Studies have shown other animals have the same feelings we do and some may be even smarter than we are. You do have a point though. Overall, people are more cruel than other animals. Not that other animals aren’t cruel but people should know better. Of course having pets can be overwhelming when one has little ones. I remember those days. But responsibility is responsibility and anyone who just drops a pet off at a shelter, well, that is just cruel. Better to find a home or take it to the vet to be euthanized instead of turning it over to a place that will most certainly have to kill it. It involves being compassionate though and trying to put oneself in the pet’s place but as I said, people are often cruel and selfish and so they don’t care. Then, they also have your attitude which shows a real lack of empathy or any understanding of how complicated other mammals are.

  381. Karen says:

    I do think the poster loves her cats though. The truth is cats can be annoying and very demanding. One of their favorite things is bothering one when at the computer. lol

  382. Maginarygurl says:

    Wow… the comments on here are simply outrageous. I can not believe people on here some honestly shouldn’t have kids and some shouldn’t have animals… and I am an animal lover and i am sad to see the animal lovers being the ones taking it to far….
    First of all someone is making a blog for laughs, its funny either laugh or fuck off, like if you don’t like then don’t read it. Common sense people. I have dedicated half my life to animals and I have a cat who I agree has become way more annoying since i’ve had my kid. I don’t hate my cat though now, I still love him. Do I love him more then my kids? No. My cat is an ANIMAL not a person, yes I have chosen to allow him in my house and take responsibility of him but he is not a person and he never will be. And even though he annoys me i still love him and would never wish death upon him but my children will ALWAYS come first NO questions asked and that is how it should. And if you wanna argue it, animals feel the same way, a mother cat will always chose her kittens or a dog her pups over their owner.
    People who are getting all offensive about animals saying other people need to give them away or that this and that is animal abuse and neglect need to grow up and honestly never have kids because i’ve seen it before and have no doubt they will be child abuser and neglect their children. But also people shouldn’t be wishing for their animals to die, its rude and unfair as I am sure your loyal companion doesn’t wish that for you. Either way, freedom of speech, if ppl wanna say they want their pet to die thats there choice. Does NOT mean they are neglecting there animals.

  383. My husband is currently away fighting bushfires and I am home alone with two kids, one 3yo, and one 9 month old baby. Last night, the baby was awake between 2am and 3am – an almost nightly occurrence. as I finally got the baby asleep and back in the cot, I stepped out of the room and…

    Meow! Meow! Meow! MEOW! MEOW!!

    Argh! I hear you.

    I SO needed the laugh this gave me on this sleep-deprived Monday morning at the office! Also, I hadn’t realised this didn’t happen to just me, so thanks for letting me know the misery is shared 😉

  384. Ele says:

    My husband and I laughed very hard at this! and I found the idiotic comments below even more amusing. No matter what you post there will always be THAT person who has to turn it into something its not. I think they turn on their computers all angry and red faced just scrolling and scrolling trying to FIND things to get mad about!

  385. Amie says:

    oh. my. goodness…. that was absolutely hilarious! and SO TRUE!! i have actual tears on my face, i seriously haven’t laughed like that for a long, long time…i had a similar experience with one of my girlfriends, i just couldn’t understand how she could feel so differently towards her dog after having her kids…then a year later, i understood. 🙂

  386. yl2193 says:

    Oh gosh, I feel a little less guilty for feeling exactly the same way about my dog now. I never thought I’d feel this way, but baby arrived and BOOM the pitter patter of the dog’s feet scurrying around right after baby’s fallen asleep puts me on edge. When the dog drops her bone repeatedly over and over again on the floor and finally wakes my baby up (15mins after he’s gone to bed) I just hate her so much. I feel so bad that I feel this way about my dog now and not saying it’s okay for me to feel this way but just glad that I’m not alone in this..!

  387. Sara says:

    I LOLed at the post but then got to the comments. Yikes.

  388. Mommy of Four says:

    I just stumbled on this blog today and love it!

    I can’t believe all the hateful comments. I am a mother of four daughters and have three wonderful dogs and I couldn’t imagine my life without any of them. However, when my first three daughters were born less than a year apart (singleton followed less than a year later by premature twins) we had three cats. Before kids, I loved these cats like they were my children. After my girls came along I couldn’t stand the cats and they hated the kids. Sure, I probably wasn’t giving the cats enough attention but I had three new babies and two of them had health issues. I didn’t even have time to care for myself let alone three cats. My cats started using the cribs as litter boxes, scratched my oldest and would lay on the twins’ faces while they slept. The cats ultimately ended up locked in a bathroom. I knew this wasn’t fair to them so I kindly and responsibly rehomed them. I even paid to fly one of the cats across country via the best climate controlled direct flight I could find. I could have flown my entire family on vacation for as much as it cost but my cats were my children too. It was a very hard decision but one I do not regret. We also had a dog. He stayed until he passed but spent an increasing amount of time on his handler’s ranch.

    Fast forward a few years and we can’t have cats because my youngest is allergic but we do have 3 wonderful dogs. My girls use our Golden as a pillow, absently petting him as they read or fall asleep. My Setter is my faithful companion and running partner who is always there for me after a rough day and our Border Collie is my kids’ play mate, running around with them both inside and out as my girls laugh and play.

    I work in animal rescue as a volunteer foster home for Golden Retrievers. I am very passionate about animals but having newborn/toddlers is hard enough. It is easy for once beloved pets to become annoying or even dangerous to new human family members. No one should judge another parent for doing what is best for their child and family. In my opinion, pets and babies generally do not mix well. You can get through it but it’s hard and resentment is natural. I firmly believe that older kids and pets are a beautiful thing though.

    My words of wisdom to any new parent struggling with pets and new babies is do your best now but know that watching the bond between an older child (4 years +) and a pet is a beautiful thing. My kids are now 14, 13, 13 and 8. My dogs are 5, 5 and 1. We started growing our four legged family when my youngest daughter was 4.

  389. Poor author :( says:

    I just came across this article and feel really bad for the author. She hasn’t hurt her animals, there are no sticks and stones just harmless words from a mum needing some support not abuse! The haters are being more verbally abusive than the author is being. Look into yourself and decide why you can’t let people voice their opinions without judgement! No people or animals were hurt at the end of the day! Jeez.

  390. trica says:

    Ditto. I love my animals but felt annoyed by them when my daughters were small. Now that they are in college I have more patience and time for cat puke and dogs who like to eat shoes.

  391. Katie says:

    Well I think the reason pets become annoying, is because they are most probably used to having a lot of attention and then a baby comes along and steals the attention away and meowing and barking at unreasonable times is their way of trying to get the attention back to them. The poor things just feel left out, they are probably wondering why you don’t pay attention to them anymore 🙁 I really dislike people who push their pets out when they have a baby.

  392. Jill C says:

    Well, I didn’t read all 600+ comments. But do you ever wonder if writing a blog is just a huge experiment to see if people really are basically good or basically bad?
    I think I found the answer here.

  393. Row says:

    There’s some seriously crazy people commenting on this post. Firstly, it’s obviously tongue in cheek – the author still has her 2 cats (or so her bio says), she just doesn’t like them all the time which I can TOTALLY relate to.

    We have 5 cats and they were our babies for a long time. We took them in from someone who didn’t want them, we’ve spent thousands on them over the years, vet bills, toys, it’s even influenced where we’ve chosen to live over the years (only a big house would do) because we put them first. Even when I was expecting they would sleep in the bed by my head (not any more – cannot risk the germs or cat hairs getting everywhere, cats lick their butts remember?).

    Baby comes along and guess what – love your pets, but there is no comparison between your pet and child, and if you put them on equal footing, then I pity your child. I can relate to the things you put in your post, it is frustrating when your cats make noises for no reason in the middle of the night, or start destroying things. They also can’t help it, they’re not people and act on instinct and when you have a child, depending on the child, they are bound to take up most of your energy and attention. It isn’t that you stop loving your pets but suddenly the things that were once funny or tolerable become less so when you also have children to look after.

    Plus there are lots of other reasons why people struggle with keeping animals they still love; if their children show allergies to the pet (what are you going to do, give the baby an antihistamine every day?), if the pets are aggressive, if they have a lot of behaviour problems etc. Taking a pet to a no kill shelter isn’t exactly cruel, at least they will properly vet any new potential owners and offer any necessary care for the interim period.

  394. Michelle says:

    I’m certain that the commentors are blowing this way out of proportion. The author isn’t getting rid of her animals, just says she is annoyed by them sometimes. Annoyed! Why is that deserving of all the nasty comments? Seriously, people, I’m annoyed at my dog when she eats random things and I don’t even have kids yet.

  395. M says:

    LOL crazy animal lovers, placing your own values and morale on animals. They are not even self aware.
    We are human. We do human things. Animals do animal things. Some of the crazy lots that are not aware you belong to the human race, maybe you should find Cat Island and move there. They’ll most likely devour your carcass out of love too after you’ve starved to death. Especially crazies like mmbris that likes to play armchair judge.
    So what if I put my kids before my cat? That cat could’ve had way worse of a life then someone feeding, patting it for 5-10 years, rehoming and put in a shelter. You only feel bad because you place your human emotions on the situation. Ever seen the IKEA commercial where they played sad music when the lamp got put to the curb? exactly. Outdoor cats can get run over by cars, get torn apart by other animals, get into cat fights and get feline AIDs and rabies, doesn’t get a meal everyday, i’m sure their life span is alot shorter. There’s nothing cruel about someone sometimes hating their pets or kids really. It’s a natural human reaction/emotion associating with annoyance for an extended period of time. Most sane people can keep that in check without actually acting on their fantasy of skinning the cat. You can live with shit that bothers you? Good for you. You can’t and want to give it away instead? Good for you too.

  396. SJ says:

    Thanks thanks thanks for this… I was feeling so bad about my changed feelings towards my kitties…I took to the internet as is my custom, to see if there was an explanation or better yet, what I could do about it… And here I found your blog…

  397. terry says:

    I can’t believe how people are taking all of this so seriously. I HATE IT WHEN UNFUNNY PEOPLE FIND A HUMOR SITE. It’s satire so if you are getting your feathers all ruffled over comedy, you are a fucking idiot.

  398. JustBeQuiet! says:

    wow! There is soo many judgemental people on here. If you are seriously going to come back just to pick on someone who is clearly venting, and have to push your opinion on them you prove yourself nothing but a child. There is something really wrong with ANYONE that will put an animal before their spouse, or children! This makes me sad for all of the negative commenters, because your life must be so dull and empty you have to bully people on the internet. Do yourself a favor and get a life. Maybe try and be a better/ nicer person as well. I too felt this way after the birth of my daughter, perhaps it is hormones, or naturally wired into our brains to take care of our children first, really the most important thing don’t you think 😉

  399. sit down! says:

    This is hilarious, and accurate.

    Also the other day my husband caught my two year old lifting the lid of the butter container up so that my cat could reach over to have a lick. Seriously. Eww.

  400. Stacy says:

    Are you people serious? This is a comedic blog. Period. Nobody is advocating animal abuse, it’s satirical. Crappy Mommy is now and has always been a bit sarcastic. Nobody gave her this much crap when she wrote sarcastic things about her husband or children. Knock it off!!!

  401. jess007 says:

    This is for the stupid trolls “standing up ” for the animals behind their keyboards:
    Every time you write a rude comment to the parents who put their children first, I’m gonna kick my dog and strangle my cat.

  402. Jane says:

    YES. Agreed and that’s the least of it. Fucking dumb ass cat gets scared of its OWNER that gives them everything including the best food etc. Fucking retard. And then pisses all over itself and the stink stays trapped in the fur and the whole apartment for days. Just die already. Good riddance.

  403. Jane says:

    YES. You are COMPLETELY on point. Did the same with my first cat. Then I stupidly thought that I had a lemon and tried again with another 2 cats the next year. Same shit. One went back and the other died. Good riddance. I can sleep better at night without your retarded self.

  404. Jane says:

    God I feel like you and I are the only sane people on this entire thread.

  405. Jane says:

    Wow this is so on point about rehoming the trouble cat. I did the same with 2 and it was the biggest burden off my chest. Absolutely no regrets!

  406. JoCB says:

    Laughed so hard, love my cats – hate the holding position kids use! and… truthfully my cat just puked in the next room!

  407. CDC says:

    Maybe you should have cleaned your sty once in awhile PIG and you wouldn’t have had hair sticking to everything. Clearly the grease didn’t help your saggy cow face.

  408. Samantha says:

    i call both my kids and my cats my babies.
    Honestly all of them drive me up the wall sometimes, it doesnt mean i dont love them any less. Before kids, I treated my cats as children, and that hasn’t changed. I just keep them seperated until my human kids are old enough to understand the right and wrong way to act around cats. Currently my DS8 and DD6 have the run of the house, both cat and baby zones. DS3 and DD3 are still stuck in the baby zone, and remain scratch and bite free. the cats are less stressed, and so am i. Its not that hard to accomadate everyone.

  409. Katy says:

    So thankful there are other mama’s out there that can empathize. I’m in this boat too. We got two cats several years ago, but once we started having children my love for the cats went down the tubes. I love my children with all my heart and they come first. I’m melting down trying to take care of everything. There’s still a few tender feelings towards the cats, but when my kids take all my energy, I just have no tolerance for the cats or the maintenance they require — especially the puke, poop, and hair issues that are never-ending. We’ll probably be moving the cats to another home in a couple months — the kids and I will still be able to visit them. It really means a lot to not feel like I’m alone in being fed up with my pets. If you can do it all, that’s great. But for me, I’m failing, and my first priority is for my children and my husband. I’ll be sad to see them go, and I’ll be sad if something bad happens to them out of my care, but somethings got to give. I’d rather deal with the guilt of giving them up, then be consistently frustrated with the cats and take it out on my husband or my children.

  410. Kathie says:

    I feel very sorry for the posts I read . I got tired and stopped somewhere in the mix. Cats are great and time and love and life consuming. Kids are great and time and love and life consuming.
    RESPONSIBILITIES YOU CHOSE. GROW UP. when a new child comes along you don’t abandon the first because its too hard. BOO HOO Who are you mothers? I for one would not want a mom who had the insensitivity to abandon living creatures that they loved up till the time i arrived.I would be ashamed of that mother.

  411. Smug Mommy says:

    LOVE THIS. Just shared on my Smug Mommy Facebook page because I wrote a similar topic post this week and definitely got some flack for it. If you want check it out! Love your stuff.

  412. Norma says:

    I know I’m a little late to the party here, but had to say thank you for this post. This is me! Right down to ignoring babies for cats for so many years and then… I had a baby. Now my cat’s wailing in the morning is not something I can ignore. If I don’t get up she wakes the baby. I still love my cat, but I haven’t had so many thoughts about the cat shelter since I picked her up from it.

  413. Janna says:

    Omg dogs are so much worse, ROFL

  414. shaina says:

    I would just like to say I understand the annoyance that pets bring. I keep my large dog inside. He makes messes and can be loud. He’s interfered many a nap for my son, but I know from experience that he would stop at nothing to protect my family. Most people shame me for keeping an American Staffordshire around my child. (Pitbull, for those who aren’t familiar with the breed) My child and I were walking around the front yard enjoying the fresh air. I had the door open so our dog could get fresh air too without me having to keep an eye on him. A large stray dog came into our yard and was acting very aggressively. I shouted at it trying to scare it off. I grabbed my son up and started going back inside. The large dog started coming at us and my dog didn’t hesitate to burst through the screen to save me and my son from possible injury. He endured minor injury himself before I was able to get the shotgun and fire a shot into the ground to run it off. He is a protector, companion and friend. He cuddles us when we’re sick or sad. He is not just a pet. He is an amazing member of the family.

  415. Danielle says:

    i completely agree with you! sorry about everyone’s ignorant comments :/ we have 9 dogs (completely crazy i’m aware) and 4 cats (i’m not even a cat person really….they all just ended up coming to our house because people know we can deal with difficult animals) and anyway i’m pregnant for the first time….i love my animals very much and will always care for them but i am SO short fused with them and annoyed lately! i’m even more mad at myself that this is happening because i foolishly thought i had some sort of control or super powers that would ensure i always loved my animals as much as a baby (that’s not even born yet!). all my dog loving friends warned me and i thought to myself how cold they were. jokes on me i guess! anyway i’m going to try some deep breathing and playing with them a little bit more to get some energy out and see if that helps us coexist better during this terribly hormonal time in my life! thanks for your post 🙂 and try to ignore people who are so ignorant – i just pray their animals find peaceful lives one way or another!

  416. Tyra says:

    We are dog people (but my allergies made to where I can’t have any animals in the house). I love cats, but yes, they need to wear underwear…and not walk on the counters and tables with the paws they scratch at their kitty litter with. When my 3yo was born, our dog would intentionally wake her up so she could play with her. And the two minutes that she is asleep was my only hands free time to pee, wash the dishes, breath…oh no… can’t let mama do that. And I agree with your update, I would never have gotten rid of her for being an Annoying alarm clock. I miss herdearly. Stupid allergies!