How I Celebrated Book Day

Yesterday was a crazy day. My book came out! The day was finally here! Celebrate!

Only Crappy Papa wasn’t getting home until after 9:00PM so we had already agreed that any celebrations would take place this weekend instead. And of course I was insanely busy trying to answer emails and do interviews and all sorts of book stuff, you know, while taking care of the kids. We really didn’t plan this out very well. And then the toilet overflowed all over the bathroom floor. But that always happens. (Have I mentioned how much I hate our toilet?)

Fortunately, my MIL came over to watch the boys so I could breathe.

While I was upstairs working, I overheard the kids talking:


Awwwwww! They are making cards and decorations for me! To celebrate book day! So sweet and fun.

At one point, my MIL asked me if we have any string. I came downstairs and handed her a ball of yarn which I presumed was for my party decorations.

Then she asked:


The dog’s birthday? What?

Yep. That party they were planning?


It was for the dog.

For the dog’s pretend birthday.

Not only were they not planning a party for me, but they also had convinced my MIL that it really was the dog’s birthday. They blew up balloons, made decorations and gave him treats.

Of course I thought this was the most hilarious thing that could have happened.

On my day, on my special day…they threw a party for the dog. So perfect.

So after my MIL left, I decided I had to do something to celebrate today. And I have just the plan.

We’ll go to a bookstore to find my book for sale!

How cool will it be to see my own book on a shelf! And to buy my own book!


Unfortunately, they don’t exactly share my enthusiasm.

I try to explain how cool it is, involve them:


Crappy Baby is in, but Crappy Boy is still not excited.

So I tell him the rest of my plan. That we’re going to get:


Yay! Everyone is on board. This will be fun.

We get to the bookstore and after a few rides on the escalators we start the book search.

Crappy Boy wins the treasure hunt:


There it is, right there on display in the Humor section.

You know how it felt seeing it? It felt like everyone in the entire bookstore was watching us. Probably because they were. We were taking pictures and posing with the books and being silly and laughing.

So I grab a copy and tell the kids that we’re going to go buy it and then get ice cream.

Crappy Boy is confused.


He then adds, “That’s really weird that you’re going to buy it, Mama. Other people are supposed to buy it, not you. I don’t think this is right.”

He looks nervous, like we are going to get in trouble.

I reassure him that it is perfectly okay for me to buy my own book. “Come on, let’s go.”

So we get up to the checkout counter. I brace myself for what is going to happen next. What are the kids going to say this time? They always talk to checkout people and usually overshare. “I made a poop today that looked like a snail!”

Maybe they’ll point to themselves on the book cover and say, “That’s me!” and then the salesgirl will laugh until she notices the name on my debit card and then realizes that is really IS them. Then she’ll gush about how it is her favorite book in the whole world and will I please sign her copy that she has in her purse behind the counter? Then she’ll make an announcement on the loudspeaker that, “AUTHOR AMBER DUSICK IS IN THE BUILDING!” And hordes of people will come running with copies of the book to sign. There will be cameras. Probably a news crew or two.

Only the kids don’t say a word.

For the first time in the history of being in a store ever, they didn’t even say, “Hi! Do you want to know how old I am?” They always, always, always do.

This time? Silence. They just stood there like statues.

Frozen stiff from fear because they thought their mother was doing something illegal. Buying her own book.

As we walked through the parking lot, I wanted to wave the book around and yell, “Hey everyone, I wrote this book!”

But instead, I just said:


And off we went.

It was the perfect way to celebrate.



Please help me out and write a review for the book from the place you bought it from: (, Barnes & Noble, Books A MillionIndieBound, Walmart, Indigo, Kobo, iBookstore & more.)

Or you could just celebrate my dog’s unbirthday instead.

I did celebrate online with all of you, your messages , comments and pictures made the day a blast! Seeing books arrive – with photos! – and hearing stories of you guys going into bookstores to find the book, that was truly amazing. Thank you for making the day so memorable!

By the way, my virtual blog tour has started and I’m so grateful that many generous bloggers are posting reviews and giveaways. I’ll be doing a book giveaway soon, but this week you can win copies from: Feisty Frugal & FabulousLetMeStartByStaying5 Minutes For MomFrugalistaScaryMommyHow to Be A Dad and Strocel. I’ll share more as they go up! (Please let me know if I missed anyone, that is totally possible. I blame the dog, he’s tired out from his party.)





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131 Responses to How I Celebrated Book Day

  1. Heather says:

    I love this story. My copy of your book arrived yesterday, which was definitely cause for celebration in my house!

  2. Lynnae says:

    Your book arrived yesterday and my family is devouring it! The kids love the pictures (clearly they are experts in the Crappeism Movement) and of course my husband and I love the stories. Congrats!!!

    Oh, and happy birthday to your dog. My dog is jealous of your party.

  3. James says:

    I pre-ordered it for my wife weeks ago… I’m kinda hoping she doesn’t find out in advance so she’s surprised, and yet I kinda hope she does see this comment so that she doesn’t order it for herself, as I had to play the part of the oblivious husband when she was gushing about how your book was coming out soon. But I guess if we have two copies we can give one to another mom somewhere who needs a laugh.

  4. I’m sorry, but that is hilarious. That would be the only time GirlChild would fail to talk to a cashier, too…if I were an actual author instead of just a wannabe dreamer! Congratulations on your book (and owning a copy just for you!)! 🙂

  5. Katy says:

    AWWW!!! I can’t wait to check my mailbox when I get home from work today!! 🙂

  6. Ashley says:

    So excited for your book! I just got my shipping notification from Amazon that my copy is on its way!

  7. Jo says:

    Congratulations, lovely author!! xx

  8. AmberM says:

    I think I’m gonna ask for it for Mother’s Day. 🙂 What could be more appropriate? Congrats to all. And that would be my kids. . planning a party for the dog.

  9. Tara says:

    Yay for you! I love your blog. I’m gonna buy the book too!

  10. Ann says:

    Got a copy as gift from my awesome sister in law yesterday!! I was so excited!

  11. Lauren says:

    Ha! I laugh ever single time. Congrats again on the book – you deserve it!

  12. WordyDoodles says:

    So perfect that they thought you were doing something illegal. I LOLd (obvs).

  13. Crystal says:

    How funny! Kids are good at surprises like that, aren’t they? (Both the party for the dog, and the not saying something at the checkout counter!)
    I am waiting for Amazon to ship my copy to me (I pre-ordered!:D).

  14. Margaret says:

    Your book is available at WALMART?? That’s right across the street! I’m going NOW!!

    • amber says:

      Only via the “site to store” thing. You buy it online then it ships (free) to the store for you to pick up.

      It is in stores at BooksAMillion & Barnes & Noble and even in some Targets (but not all of them so that too is confusing). And of course several indie bookstores. 🙂

  15. Michelle says:

    Haha this was hilarious! Dog un-birthday and the boys scared of you buying the book.

    Waiting for mine arrive in Australia! 🙂

  16. Sara says:

    My child plans parties for the dog’s pretend birthday, too, complete with balloons, streamers, and different “gaming stations” where he invents different games to play. I think we’ve had three “parties” in the past six months!
    Got my notice from Amazon this morning that your book has shipped. Yay!

  17. Jessica says:

    Were you wearing your purple dress? If you had on jeans & a t-shirt I’m sure your adoring fans assumed you were incognito & didn’t want to be un-cool & start snapping pic’s with their iPhones. I totally would have. Then I’d have sold it to TMZ. 😉
    Even with free 2 day shipping I have to wait til tomorrow to get your book! Wish I would have ordered from the company that ‘leaked’ so I could be reading it already!

    • amber says:

      I *always* wear my purple dress. Though I think I had sunglasses on. That explains it, I was incognito!

  18. Sarah C says:

    Got and read (in its entirety) your book last night. There were moments where I was laughing out loud, and that doesn’t happen often! Even got the husband to read parts of it. We both LOVED the 50 Crappy Laws of Parenting. Great great book!!

  19. Ashley says:

    I now have ‘A Very Merry Unbirthday’ song from Alice in Wonderland stuck in my head.

    “To me
    To who?
    To me
    Oh, you”

  20. Amber says:

    Happy Birthday Crappy Dog!!!

    (oh, and congrats on your book too…)

  21. Natalie Cannon says:

    Way to go on the book!!!
    My kid’s like to talk to cashiers too. lol

  22. Jenny Henderson says:

    I have been reading your blog for a long time and have never commented. Now that lovely husband has bought me your book and surprised me with it today, I wanted to tell you how much I love the book and your blog. I appreciate the laughter your stories provide. Congrats on the release! By the way, I think my two girls (5&3) are exactly like your boys 🙂 I can’t believe there are other people in this world living my same daily routines. Thanks for making me feel normal.

  23. Nikki says:

    Congratulations on your not crappy book. I bought it and I’m going to drink crappy wine and very likely choke on it while laughing and enjoying it.

  24. Kami says:

    Congrats. That is the perfect way to celebrate. I got the book yesterday but got home so late that I had only a few minutes to play with my crappy baby and put him to bed. Then, even though I still had a mountain of charts to do, I started reading the book to my husband and showing him the pictures. Half the time he couldn’t understand what I was saying because I was laughing so hard. Enjoy the success of it 🙂

    Oh, and wish Crappy Dog a belated Happy Birthday! 😉 LOL!

  25. Alison says:

    I’m eating Cadbury ROYAL DARK mini eggs in celebration of your dog’s unbirthday. And your book, which Amazon tells me should be delivered tomorrow. At which point I’ll celebrate by ignoring my children and reading it all in one go. Hope you work some champagne into your weekend celebrations! If you aren’t in jail for buying your own book. congratulations!

  26. Chante says:

    I laughed so hard, My face now hurt! Gotta live kids! 🙂

  27. Stephanie Bryant says:

    lol how lovely that they celebrated the dog’s “birthday” lol … and I would totally feel the same way, where’s the attention, come already lol. Congrats again, and I loved your book – got it through Kindle yesterday … time to write another one 😉

  28. David Fisher says:

    Amber, I am so proud to have played even a wee part in this. Congratulations!

  29. Christine says:

    Just placed an order for 3 books… I realized it’s the perfect gift for friends for Mother’s Day! Congrats to you, and happy unbirthday to Crappy Dog.

  30. Julie says:

    I’m planning on waddling my 34 week pregnant butt to the Chapters/Indigo store here in Montreal tomorrow and hope that they will have it,otherwise I might have a mini meltdown right there. And the I hope that I won’t be going into labour after reading your book. At least not yet… Congrats on the launch and hope the boys get more excited at your official celebration this weekend!

  31. Jimin says:

    I got your book and even hid in the bathroom to read the first chapter. LOVE IT!

  32. Congratulations! Such a wonderful accomplishment!

    I can think of no better way to begin a crappy book release celebration than for the toilet to overflow.

    You should consider having a serious conversation with the kids about how it’s okay to talk to the cashier about Mommy’s book, promise extra ice cream if they generate the desired outcome, and head back to buy another copy. Also, maybe tip off the paparazzi before you go.

  33. Devon says:

    I was really tired when I noticed the email from, a couple hours before midnight on the 25th. I got worried, because I thought that maybe I’d accidentally bought a book earlier in the day that I’d meant to put on my wish list. The price was exactly the same! Oh no!

    But then I saw the title, and remembered that I’d pre-ordered your book and it was coming out on the 26th! But I got it a couple hours before midnight on my Kindle app!

    Unfortunately, I was too tired to open it up and start reading it then. Naturally, just as I was about to go to sleep, my youngest boy woke and wanted to sleep on me on the couch, and I certainly couldn’t start reading it then — I knew the laughing would make him bounce and keep him awake!

    Congrats on the book release! 😀 I’m looking forward to reading it!

  34. Jennifer says:

    So happy I received my book yesterday! I’m trying to only read a few pages at a time to prolong the joy of reading it! Of course that is neat impossible to do because it is so hilarious.

  35. Waylon says:

    I’ve tried to slip away and buy a copy for my wife twice now. Walmart was not so helpful tried to call them before to check and they are even less helpful on the phone and when i went there they said that they have no idea what books they actualy carry. Unfortunately all of the actual bookstores in our area have closed. But knowing I can try the targets will help. Hope they actually answer there phone. I hope I can pull off getting it before she tells me she bought it. And happy to see that bookstores exist somewhere.

  36. Dannielle says:

    So very proud of you. I absolutely enjoy your blogs and plan on buying and reading the book soon.

  37. JoA says:

    Nooooooo! Amazon UK are telling me I can’t have your book until May 17th. 🙁

  38. Morgan says:

    I can’t wait to read your book, which I pre-ordered on Amazon. But I’m saving it to read on vacation in a couple of months. Sounds like the perfect compliment to laying on the beach, really looking forward to it!

  39. Connie says:

    My almost 4 year old just had an hour long temper tantrum of epic proportions. I was ready to drink wine in the middle of the afternoon. Instead, once he finally fell asleep I downloaded your book to my Nook. I’ve read 11 pages and laughed my butt off. I can now return to my normal wine drinking pattern of waiting until after bedtime. Thank you, you have saved me from midday drunkenness. 🙂

    • Ali says:

      “Midday Drunkenness”! Ha! I love it! Wait until the teen years when you’ll want to spike your first cup of coffee in the morning! 😉

  40. jessamyn says:

    I saw you book come into my store! Yay!

  41. Alicia says:

    I am so excited to buy your book! It is the least I can do for all the humor you have brought me and my husband. Congratulations on all your hard work, and I wish you much success with sales. Maybe then you can get a new toilet.

    BTW, that dog is NOT a crappy picture. You are going to have to start underachieving on your drawings if you want to stay crappy.

  42. Clodia says:

    Yesterday my 1 year old took the book almost as soon as I got it out of the package, and had it for most of the day. Then after dinner my 4 year old found it and wanted to look through it, which we did for at least half an hour before bed, and then he wanted me to read from it for his bedtime story. LOL.
    He has never seen a picture funnier than the one of Crappy Boy pooping and peeing on the road; he laughed for 5 minutes straight and I had to remind him to breathe.
    I’m hoping that tonight I won’t accidentally leave it in his room again so I will actually get the chance to read more of it. 🙂

  43. Laurie says:

    I hated our toilet, too. It got clogged several times a week by our “super-pooper” children. When it overflowed, the stuff ran down into the heat vent which was so brilliantly located in the floor right beside the potty. Finally we had to remodel the bathroom, so you better believe that I did a lot of research! We now have an American Standard Champion 4 toilet (the one that says it can flush a bucket of golf balls). It’s awesome! I’ve only had to use my mad plunging skills on it 3 or 4 times in almost 2 years! It uses way less water than the old one, too.

    I know you may not want to actually publish this comment , since I mentioned a brand, etc. But I wanted you to know the name of a good toilet. It was worth every penny we spent on it. 🙂

  44. Denise says:

    The irony? Yesterday WAS my dog’s birthday. Seriously. Plus, yay for you! I wish I was at that book store to start applause! I couldn’t be though, I had another commitment, I was at a dog’s birthday party. Seriously.

  45. Jenny Q says:

    I checked the UPS tracker all day yesterday and even though it said it was out for delivery at like, 4 am, they LIED!! It finally came this afternoon but I was stuck at the office. I’m headed to my mom’s to pick up my son but after last night’s shenanigans of my son trying to sleep in mommy’s room for the 800th time, I’m seriously debating going home to lock myself in the bathroom to read your book. He’s in good hands with Grandma, right??

  46. Adrienne says:

    I was busy reading this post and just answered, “Where am I going when I GROWING UP?” with “Valentine’s Day” because I was so distracted by your book merriment. Congratulations!

  47. Lisa says:

    So proud of you! Hugs! Mine should arrive Saturday. 🙂 I plan to give it to the mom of an almost 1 year old.

  48. Stef says:

    I’m halfway through the book and am cracking up at how relatable everything is right down to the random dog unbirthday parties! Thanks for all the laughs!!

  49. Lynn says:

    My copy came in the mail today! I was so excited to see the Barnes & Noble box in my mailbox 🙂 I also find it perfectly acceptable to buy your own book…and ice cream is always the perfect way to celebrate any occasion 🙂

  50. Jen says:

    So, I have to admit that for a split second I was thinking, “How could they not recognize your family? Purple dress, blue shirt, yellow underpants…how could you not be noticed?” Yup, in my head you look like a drawing.

  51. nurse mommy says:

    Amber, I wish I could have been there with you and the kids. I would have made a big obnoxious scene, drawing huge crowds to your glorious book! You totally deserved it. But what do you get instead? Mother of the Year Award. Great. Again. Congrats on the book! Hope your hubby steps it up! Stacey

  52. Tracy Dorsey says:

    Congrats!!!!! Enjoy it!!

  53. Kirby Mc. says:

    Congratulations on your book release!

  54. Julie says:

    Lol what a great story! My copy arrives tomorrow!!

  55. Nancy says:

    Isn’t that exactly how a mom would celebrate? By being completely overlooked for the DOG?!?? Lol! I’m heading to the bookstore this weekend to get my copy.

  56. Trish says:

    Huge congrats, I hope you do some serious celebrating this weekend!

  57. Kathleen says:

    oh my goodness, I just bought your book online and I am very pleased 🙂 I read your stories to my little lads (2 and 5) and we laugh at how much they resemble our own adventures 🙂 my big boy thinks it’s amazing that ‘there are children in ‘merica just as nuaghty as us Mummy!’ (we are in NZ). Keep up the good work (and happy birthday to the dog 😉

  58. Best. Release. Celebration. EVER.

  59. Andrea says:

    Ughhhh that always happens to me! I finally find the courage to take my kids out in public, to do something that actually sounds like fun, and then they don’t want to go!!
    Ok the baby does but then scowls at me and says, ” yeah, we no wanna go!” After he hears his brothers disapproval. I always bribe them with ice cream too! Score if they fall asleep in the car!

  60. Kristen says:

    I’m sitting here on the toilet reading your book, yay!!!! I got it in the mail (hubby thought it was another one of my photo orders from Walmart). My 2 year old sat with me and looked through it… she liked all your drawings, especially the picture on pg 111.. she kept wanting to go back to “the one with the green stuff”. And, OMG… pg 27 is SO me!!!! Congrats!!!

  61. Jen says:

    congrats! i received your book yesterday as a birthday gift and can’t put it down. i submitted a review on amazon. i’m hoping you’re writing another one 🙂

  62. Sharon says:

    I think buying your own book is just as legit as voting for yourself when you run for office. If you don’t do it, what kind of example are you setting for the rest of us? As for the dog, he’s obviously a born politician. Managing to co-opt the enthusiasm of the public away from the real victory of your publication by means of superficial cuteness without a birth certificate to stand on…well played! When is his book coming out?

  63. Aimee says:

    I have the perfect celebratory item! Get yourself a new toilet! They have toilets that can flush tennis balls and don’t overflow. Warning: Don’t tell the kids, and for heaven’s sake, never let them see the video. I speak from personal experience.

  64. Jennifer says:

    I just wanted to say that I went to Barnes & Noble today at 11 AM and bought your book…and I’ve already finished it!! This is my favorite part – I read some of it in the waiting room for an appointment and had to stop because I literally had tears running down my cheeks. I was desperately trying to keep my laughter under my breath but it was impossible and everyone was looking at me. I LOVE YOUR BOOK!

  65. Erica says:

    Haha, hilarious. Happy fake birthday to Crappy Dog. 🙂 Seriously though, congratulations! Celebrate big! I just bought it on Amazon – can’t wait till it gets here!

    Is it weird that I think your blog is hilarious and I’m not even a parent? I work with kids as a speech therapist, so I can relate to a lot of your amazing anecdotes, especially the ones that have to do with grammar/semantics (“Help, I’m turding!”). 🙂

  66. Liz says:

    I just ordered on amazon, can’t wait to read it, so glad I found this blog!

  67. Danielle says:

    Happy birthday Crappy Dog!!!!


    Congrats! I read it today and I had tears running down my cheeks from laughing so hard, thank you so much for writing it. Please write another one in all your new free time. 😉

  68. Taylor says:

    I got my copy today from Amazon woohoo! I pre ordered and the site said it wouldn’t come until Friday at the earliest, so I got an awesome surprise when it came in the mail today! Congratulations to you and your family! My mom said she has ‘dibs’ on reading it when I’m done 🙂 .. Thanks for giving me so many smiles and laughs!

  69. April says:

    Congratulations!!!!! I would so buy my own book too!! And the inner monlogue you had going, where of course you’re about to be rich and famous…I do that to! Sadly, I have never accomplished anything remotely as cool as writing a book, but I still am convinced!! And I also like how the drawing of Crappy Dog is not in the least crappy–it looks better than an actual picture of my dog! Enjoy every moment!!!

  70. Sarah says:

    My copy from Amazon will arrive Friday. The Easter Bunny is leaving it for me Sunday. 😉 I will be looking for it in Barnes and Noble tomorrow because I can’t wait. 😀

  71. Julie Perry says:

    I love that you even drew a Greenie next to your dog, which is most definitely not a crappy picture by the way!

  72. Emeline says:

    Yay! I ordered mine from Amazon and it’s schedule to arrive in…early May (I’m from Malaysia). Can’t wait! XD

    • amber says:

      I hope it is worth the wait, I’m so thrilled that it is going all the way to Malaysia!!! How cool is that?

    • adieza says:

      Hey, fellow Malaysian! 🙂

      I don’t have the patience to wait for the physical books to be sold at bookstores here, so I bought the ebook!

  73. Gill says:

    Congratulations Amber thats great.

  74. Dora says:

    You are an incredible storyteller, I can always picture even facial exprecions and mimics when I read your stories. And I think you should write books, more books, a lot of books!!!!

  75. Ashley says:

    Finished reading this, got on my Nook, and bought your book in all of two minutes, lol. Can’t wait to read!

  76. Brittany Jimenez says:

    A very Happy Unbirthday to Crappy Dog!

    And you know, I’ve noticed that kids usually do that. Not show off when you want them to. I mean, that’s the whole reason I gave birth!

    I will write a review as soon as my book comes in tomorrow. I CAN NOT WAIT!

    That is all.

  77. Celeste says:

    I nearly peed myself during The Road Trip. Tears were streaming down my face. And don’t be mad I’ve had the “down time” to read that far into it. 🙂 I <3 your book! *whispers* I nursed on the toilet too.

  78. mamacap says:

    Just got your book today! I can’t freaking wait to read it!

    P.S. I looked at yr Amazon page. Amber, you’re sooo pretty! :-O

  79. Anna Petersen says:

    I laughed so had that I had a belly ache. My “kids” are now in their early twenties, but your book brought back so many great memories. Thanks!

  80. We’re living in parallel universes. I took my boy to Barnes & Noble today (unfortunately, only the kids’ section). He chatted with the cashier AND the little old lady in line behind us, and told them we were going out for ice cream after. We weren’t… I guess he got the idea from your kids.

  81. M says:

    My husband said, “Your book arrived?” and I yelled, “OMG WHERE?” and opened it immediately. I wish I could say I haven’t put it down, but, you know.

  82. Brittany M. says:

    So, I just found your blog like… 3 days ago now. I have sat and in my spare time (aka while my newborn is nursing) I have read your *entire* blog. Lol!! Just saying I have fallen in love with you! (in a purely platonic way of course =P) As a new parent to a 7 week old you have unintentionally taught me a lot!
    I kind of need your book now. When I got to the final post I was so disappointed it was over I obviously just need to buy it! I keep gushing to my mom about you. Even my fiance likes the blog. You’re fantastic. Never stop writing ever!!

    Okay I’m done showering you in compliments, have a great day. =)

  83. Devan says:

    I wrote a review but forgot to sign my name….My (our) Amazon account is under my husbands name….John Scott Allen. 🙂

  84. Abby says:

    Amazon France says it will take 2 to 3 weeks to get your book!! Thank god for Book stores in the UK who promise to get it over the Channel in 3 to 5 days!! Yay! I can’t wait!!

    Congrats on your book celebration, ice cream is almost as good as champagne! (and happy unbirthday to your dog, to make you feel better just remember that he can’t have ice cream or champagne!)

  85. Alicia S. says:

    I have loved your posts about getting published. My mom, who’s been working on a book series “The Sons of Liberty” for years, was recently published! Her first book, “No Gentleman Is He” just made it onto virtual shelves at Amazon. 🙂 As soon as I get around to finishing my review for hers, I can’t wait to dig into yours!!

  86. Amy K says:

    Just got my Kindle edition this morning! Congrats, Amber! You Rock!

  87. Lori says:

    I know this is a random comment.

    You should update your “about” to include crappy dog. Otherwise, he’ll feel jealous. Especially since even crappy fish is there. 😉

  88. Angela says:

    My book arrived yesterday (a day earlier than it was supposed to!), and I stayed up way too late last night reading the entire thing. I loved it. I found your blog through Amber Strocel’s site, and I tell all my mom friends about you.

    Happy (pretend) Birthday to Crappy Dog!

  89. Yuki says:

    Enjoying your book – laughed so hard I cried (Crappiest Trip Ever). I don’t know if you’ve already covered this topic, but I was thinking there’s good material in the topic of sunblock. So infuriating to put on them, always forget when it’s sunny, always remember when it’s rainy (like today). Anyway, looking forward to more from you, congratulations on your success and hope you are still having fun!

  90. Catherine says:

    Aww, congratulations on the book! I received mine from the delivery person, I mean, UPS driver, yesterday and have been thoroughly enjoying it 30 seconds at a time while fielding my 3 kids. It’s great!

  91. Jamie Anne says:

    How I Met Your Mother, called these blind spots, “gaps”. My biggest gap was encountering the traffic sign that reads “Ped Xing” I read it phonetically, and asked “What is Ped Exing?” To which of course I was told “Um try pedestrian crossing!” And am continued to be made fun of, to this day for my gap.

    I work in a retail store, and overheard some customers remarking over a skin care display of Vichy products. One friend, exclaimed to another, “Oh my god, look at this stuff! Why would anyone want to use something called ‘Vee Icky!’?”. Attempted phonetic pronunciation of words can be hilarious!

  92. Nicole says:


    I love how your depiction of the dog’s Greenie looks like a cut-off alien penis, balls n all. 😉 I hope he enjoyed his alien weenie on YOUR special day!!

  93. Jenn says:

    I bought your book yesterday on iBooks and read it and loved it! Great job!

  94. Kh says:

    We were so excited to see the ups guy coming with your book!
    I hope you can use the royalties to replace your toilet. Maybe even add another bathroom to your house! My parents had one in the middle of the basement growing up. No walls, just a toilet sitting there in the middle. No major remodel required!

    • Ali says:

      OMG! One of my childhood neighbors had this, too! How weird…I never did quite understand it…

  95. Jennifer says:

    OK… lol… got mine today at B&N. But then went online to find that it is on SALE! But it wasn’t in the store. What?! Ok, I am super frugal mom; so now I’m annoyed with B&N. Can you return a book? I’m not sure. AND I want to read it so bad that I’m not sure I could return it in “like new” condition. There will surely be fingerprints and something sticky from my kids on it shortly. Lesson learned. SHOP ONLINE first!

  96. neo says:

    Kids can be so wierd. 🙂

  97. Dawn says:

    I did something stupid. I told my hubby I wanted something red and shiny (he adds “and crappy? Because i already got you something crappy”) for my birthday, which isn’t for another week. It came two days ago and I am pretending to not notice it still in the brown package sitting on his desk. And so I continue to be tortured.

  98. Okay, here’s the test to see if you will read down this far. Congratulations on your awesomely “Crappy” book 🙂 Love the blog and I know I’ll love the book. And I will buy it full price because that’s how awesome I am. 😉

  99. Naughty Crappy Mama buying your own book lol

  100. Jim says:

    Martin Amis tells a story about how he was riding the tube soon after his first book was published and he saw that the woman sitting next to him was reading it. He felt very proud and self congratulatory but told himself he’d just have to get used to it. Writing his memoir 30 years later, it still hadn’t happened again!

  101. nickol says:

    I celebrated by reading your whole book with my son (1 of 5 small people that live here) reading and giggling over my shoulder with me.
    I will read it again and again (probably hiding in the bathroom) because I bought it digital which means it will not end up smashed and coverless under a pile of books and laundry in said son’s room.

  102. Donna Arthurs says:

    I thought I was being so smart, pre-ordering your book from Amazon. Stupidly I thought that meant that it would come to me the second it was published, yet here it is almost midnight on the 28th and still no book. I really, really, really need your book RIGHTNOW!!!!! I am sad and depressed (I know, boo hoo, poor me) and I know if I was holding my very own copy of your book and lovingly reading it, I would feel much better. Oh well, maybe tomorrow. BTW, congrats on being a published writer, how cool is that??? AND I saw the picture of Adam Levine holding your book. Could you be any cooler?!?! Way to to girl!

  103. LeahM says:

    This is like what would happen to me if I ever wrote a book. And this is probably why everyone loves you and wants to buy your book. Because you manage to combine normal with funny in a very believable way. Just so you know, I hope that you keep up the blogging and don’t switch over to book-writing-only because I like the part at the end of the blog where I get to make comments. I miss that part about the book. There’s something awesome in being able to pretend like I’m interacting with you.

    Oh, and one more thing. Your book arrived in the same box from Amazon as “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” (Jenny Lawson), which I thought was very fitting.

  104. Ali says:

    I love your imaginary scene at the checkout counter. Especially when the hordes run up wanting autographs, and there are cameras and a news crew (or 2)! If I ever see you, I will definitely demand an autograph and a photo. Congratulations on the book release and thanks for all the laughs!

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