My Birthday Present

Today is my birthday!

A couple weeks ago, Crappy Papa started asking me what I wanted for my birthday…

birthday 1

Like many couples, we’ve ditched the element of surprise in the art of gift giving. What he is really asking here is, “What specific item shall I purchase for you?” He isn’t looking for ideas to choose from. He wants to know precisely what to buy.

So I decide to make it super easy for him. And free:

birthday 2

He considers it for a moment and then replies:

birthday 3

So I settle:

birthday 4

In the end, I put the shoes in my shopping cart online and had him come over and press the “Submit Order” button. This counts, right?

Not complaining, I love that we do gifts this way. I’m sure when I was younger I would have looked at our future gift giving with disdain. Where is the surprise? The excitement? The thought put into it?

Whatever. I want a pair of shoes.*

Left on his own, Crappy Papa is not the most reliable gift giver. Also? He dislikes the pressure inย picking something out. His first ever birthday gift to me was a pair of salt and pepper shakers. I didn’t need salt and pepper shakers. We had been dating for two months. Pretty romantic, right? (Actually, maybe it was. In a domestic, “I want to spend the rest of my life seasoning food with you” way? Totally. And we still have them.)ย 


I don’t really have a way to wrap up this post. But it is my birthday so I’ll just use that as my get out of jail free card.

It is my birthday!



*Boots actually. Red boots. Life is way more exciting wearing red boots. Plus, they are snappy with purple dresses.ย 

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317 Responses to My Birthday Present

  1. Jennifer says:

    Happy Birthday! You should have said you wanted a huge soccer ball pinata! ๐Ÿ™‚ My husband and I do gifts this way, too. It’s much better than a surprise!

  2. Grechen says:

    Happy Birthday! We do the same thing! That way, everyone is happy. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Kim says:

    Happy Birthday!

    The first Valentine’s Day my husband and I were together, he bought me windshield wipers. Ah, romance โ™ฅ

    (to be fair, I’m *not* a fan of V-Day and I desperately did need new wipers!)

    And p.s. Red boots! I found a pair of red cowgirl boots that I’m dying for…because $459 for cute boots is totally reasonable. Right?

    • Nicole says:

      Haha windshield wipers…..classic!

      • Amy says:

        The first birthday I celebrated with my now hubby I got an external hard drive. Yay!

        p.s. his birthday is two weeks earlier and I gave him an autographed photo of his favorite football player and two huge travel coffee mugs. I win.

        • Stephanie says:

          My birthday gifts have become decidedly less romantic and time-intensive the longer we’re together. After 11 years “Send me the link to what you want from Amazon” seems great. Though sometimes I do miss the days of dozens of roses and fancy dinners, do you know what I could BUY for the price of those roses!?! And with a toddler in tow, a fancy dinner wouldn’t be *quite* the same. ๐Ÿ™‚

        • Christine S-P says:

          “External Hard drive”? That sounds kind of kinky. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Jo says:

      Last Christmas my hubby bought me diaper cream (my only kid is 8).

      I had asked for a Burt’s Bees bath set – totally my fault for not specifying “for grown ups”. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Kathy says:

      My first anniversary present was a plant…delivered to me by my mother in law because my husband (now ex) was at work. What? He couldn’t give me the plant when he got home? My first Christmas present? Tires for the Camaro. Okay…we did need new tires.

    • Meg says:

      Windshield wipers say “I don’t want you to die in car crash because you can’t see out when it’s raining” – that’s love.

  4. Sara says:

    I hope you have a great day! My husband forgot my birthday when I was 7 months pregnant with our son and again last year, too. So the fact that yours even asks what you’d like is awesome in my book!

    • Hannah says:

      My mother-in-laws best advice before I married her son was to remind him when a birthday was coming up. Otherwise there may not be a birthday gift. Ha-ha.

    • Carra says:

      That is why weeks in advance I start dropping “subtle” hints like “My birthday is in a few weeks!” ๐Ÿ™‚ Everyone is much happier and I get a present.

  5. Meredith says:

    This year I clicked “Checkout” myself, and he said, “Happy birthday!” and kissed me. It’s so nice to know we’re not alone ๐Ÿ™‚

    Happy birthday!

  6. Amy says:

    Wow–my husband and I just had this conversation—only my first choice was sleep. He answered almost exactly as your husband did–and then I said, “Well then, boots.”
    Have a wonderful birthday!!

    • willow matteson says:

      I have been telling my husband for the last few months for my birthday I want a hotel room, to myself, so I can sleep and eat a hot meal. He thinks I’m joking….

      • Meg says:

        One year, when I was a kid, my mum actually got the “hotel room to herself” present (actually she was sent house-hunting in a different city, not really a present). She discovered she couldn’t sleep, it was too quiet.

      • Ashley says:

        I can top that! My husband asked what I wanted to do for our anniversary and I said the same thing…and he did it!
        I was 5 months pregnant with out second child and so sick and tired. So I spent my anniversry alone in a fancy hotel room watching crappy tv and ordering room service, best present ever!!!!

        • Ashley says:

          I can top that! My husband asked what I wanted to do for our anniversary and I said the same thing…and he did it!
          I was 5 months pregnant with our second child and so sick and tired. So I spent my anniversry alone in a fancy hotel room watching crappy tv and ordering room service, best present ever!!!!

          And happy birthday!

  7. Happy Birthday!! We share an Amazon account so I have a running “Angie” Wish List that I tell him to look from. I procrastinate online a lot, so it’s constantly updated. Complete with if my size changes, you bet I’m changing my wish list. My hope is that one day he’ll actually look at it and buy me something for no reason! PS – I actually have your book on there, even though it’s not out yet!

    • Courtney says:

      THAT is a fantastic idea!!! I have an Amazon wish list, but never thought of directing my husband to it. Thanks~ :<)

    • Jenn says:

      I have totally done the same thing, that way he can surprise me with something he knows I want. ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s worked well so far!

    • Mindy Taylor says:

      We do the same thing…I have to send him the list a few days in advance though, I don’t think he knows how to access it himself…I’m just excited when he remembers to ask in time for something to actually get to our house by my birthday (which is tomorrow, we’ll see!).

    • Amy says:

      Don’t forget your Etsy “likes page”!

  8. Elizabeth says:

    Happy Birthday! It’s my birthday today, too!

    • amber says:

      Happy birthday!

      • Robonanny says:

        Happy birthday to both of you!!

        • Sanj says:

          Mine’s coming up, too, in two weeks. I was a Valentine’s conception. So romantic, esp since my folks had tried for a decade to have kids. (Counting ahead three months and back one week estimates conception date.) Maybe a lot of us Scorpios have that in common, being Valentines babies. Although I guess the earliest Scorpios are really Groundhog’s Day conceptions, right? Sorry Amber, didn’t mean to cloud up your day with that image.

  9. Puddykat says:

    Happy Birthday! You totally make me smile and laugh when I need it most and I have now found many other people to add to my laugh list thanks to your non-crappy collaborations! Have a great birthday!

  10. jennifer says:

    I still buy presents for my husband, with about a 90% success rate. But he does not have the gift-giving “gift” lol. He WANTS to get me a nice gift, he just doesn’t know how. So, these days (6 years of marriage and two kids later), he just gives me his credit card and a kiss and says, go shopping (without kids, that is the true gift within the gift). #spoiled

  11. jennifer says:

    Shit, forgot the best part! Happy Birthday! Hope you have a million more because I love your blog ๐Ÿ™‚

  12. CarynSKA says:

    First… Happy Birthday!
    Second, my now fiance’s first birthday gift to me was a clip-on keychain. It sounds lame, but I had told him that the one that my mom had gotten me had broken, and he knew I wanted a replacement. He actually listened to me when I talked!
    Third, for his birthday this year I got him a new battery for his laptop.
    See how romantic we are?

  13. Debbie says:

    Happy Birthday!

  14. Jenn says:

    Haha, my birthday was 2 days ago, and we do presents the same way……..I got an awesome pair of boots selected by me, paid for by the husband. Exactly what I wanted!

  15. Courtney says:

    Happy happy birthday!!!!!!!! I think as long as you get what you really want (or second choice :<)) that's a great gift!

  16. This is also what I do for Mother’s Day. Although this year my only request was for a shower. And I did not get it.

  17. Doreen says:

    Happy birthday!

  18. Jana G says:

    Happy Birthday. And it completely counts. My husband still surprises me but only because I am horrible at telling people what I want and need.

    Also, I love that your husband knows that it is impossible for a mom to crap without someone needing them RIGHT THEN.

  19. neal says:

    My wife loves a surprise, but also hates to spend money. She especially hates it when money is spent on something that will not be used. So if I, for instance, bought her a necklace that was sweet in the moment but that ate the funds for two months of going out to dinner together, she’d be ticked.

    So I mostly surprise her with firehazards. We have a large supply of candles that I every once in a while use to make a trail of lit candles from one part of the house to the other. Each candle has a little note next to it. At the end is me all dressed up with a fresh cooked meal. Or a can of soup.

    Come to think of it, though, that was before our toddler learned to walk or even crawl very much or open doors. I think my “firehazards” may now simply be “fires.” Or “babyburners.” I’d better go get some boots.

    • serenity says:

      Awesome! Every girl needs new boots!

    • Rachel Blackett says:

      Awh thats really sweet! Do it once bubby has gone to sleep?

    • Carolyn F. says:

      Hmmm–I read that as “dressed *as* a fresh-cooked meal! that’d be just weird. Love that you make the effort! Mine did make chicken picatta for me one year, but nothing else–no bread, pasta, salad, And he acted like he’d painted the Sistine Chapel or something!

    • Christine S-P says:

      Glow sticks are cheap. ๐Ÿ™‚

      It’s kind of romantic actually…

    • Dawn says:

      Flameless candles…completely safe and no one ever looks closely enough to realize they’re not the real thing.

      • neal says:

        I guess there’s also fireflies in jars, though that might be more work than a birthday deserves. I love her, but that much? I’d have to think about it.

  20. Happy Birthday!! I hope to see those snazzy red boots feature in a Crappy Picture soon!

  21. Angela S. says:

    Happy Crappy Birthday! ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m glad you got fancy red boots!

  22. Jessica says:

    Happy Birthday!!!

  23. Kathleen says:

    Happy birthday! This year, my husband actually purchased my gift more than a week ahead of time, so when I told him what I really wanted (ticket to Game 4 of the ALCS! Go Tigers!), he knew that nothing else was going to cut it. But he’d already bought it, and he never returns anything, so I will be surprised this Thursday!

  24. Kelly.R says:

    Happy Birthday!

    Ha. the first gift my boyfriend gave me 10 years ago was a Disney Princess Play-doh set… I think I still have the box filled with high school mementos…

  25. Esther says:

    Happy Birthday!
    Your blog is one of the brightest highlights of my day. May you have many more happy, healthy years of bringing your amazing brand of joy to others.

  26. Happy birthday! Here are some birthday fireworks for you~*

  27. Betty says:

    Happy Birthday!!!! I feel like I really know you!! Wishing you the very best. P.s. Crappy Picture please of the red boots!!!!!

  28. June says:

    Happy birthday, Amber!

    Hope you can sneak in that birthday crap sometime today anyway! ๐Ÿ™‚

  29. Dani Ryan says:

    You know, romantic birthday presents died with us years ago too. I don’t even get to pick out a present for him to buy for me. But I do get a card. He learned the hard way that life is not fun in this household if I don’t at least get a card.

    And every once in a while, he surprises me with a gift. Those birthdays are pretty awesome as it’s completely unexpected.

    Awesome post!

    • Rachel Blackett says:

      I don’t even get a card anymore lol! Maybe now we have kids maybe I might eventually get something :/ (I do get taken out to lunch for mothers day though lol) We decided it wasn’t worth buying gifts for each other lol

  30. Erica says:

    Happy Birthday! Your new boots match your hat! Special bonus points for a post that includes both the hat and the boots.

    I have started telling my DH what he got me for my birthday (after I’ve purchased it). “Thank you for the mixer! Girls, look at the mixer Daddy gave me! Yay Daddy!” and he just accepts the gratitude and we all move on with our lives.

    No fuss, no muss!

    • Christine S-P says:

      I do that too. So I don’t get gifts from the gas station. It works and everyone is less stressed!

  31. Gillian says:

    I feel like this would make an excellent xtranormal video.

  32. Mrs. Gendy says:

    Salt and pepper shakers? I would be so lucky. Our first Christmas together my husband got me ice cream. From Walmart. The night before Christmas. It was on sale. And then he put it under the tree to sit overnight.


    • amber says:

      At first I thought ice cream would be the ideal gift. Until I got to the melted part.

    • Elizabeth says:

      I snorted with tears in my eyes. LOL

    • Melissa says:

      You win! Or lose. However you want to look at it. Makes for a hilarious story, though. If it makes you feel better, one year my husband got scammed out of $60 online when he tried to buy me a DVD set (they were bootlegged, and not even the tv show that I had wanted.) And he didn’t have any more money to get me another gift.

      • Cari says:

        Happy birthday Amber, I love your blog!!
        Maybe it’s the 28 weeks-along pregnancy hormones, with a 15 month old at home and zero sleep in about… ehhh… 15 months, but I cried reading this post! and not from laughter ๐Ÿ™ What’s wrong with me? I used to be totally OK without the pressure of gift giving/expectation, LOL. Damn I hope to get sleep soon so I can go back to my old self… at least I can take solace in that peaceful crap taking is still a possibility for me… for now, LOL.

    • Carolyn says:

      I can’t stop laughing about this! I thought my hubby was a shoddy gift giver. Last year (8 years of marriage) I got a box of Reynold’s Slow Cooker Liners & a bottle of Magic Shell icecream topping in my stocking for Christmas…that’s it. Seriously, no other gifts. Your warm, discounted ice cream, under the tree beats my stocking stuffers, though!

  33. Rachel M says:

    Happy birthday!
    Yes! This is pretty much how we do Christmas presents because my husband honestly does not know the date of holidays. I don’t blame him; he is just super forgetful about that stuff. One year he didn’t have a Christmas gift for me because he lost track of the days, thinking it was on a different date. Last year I just got myself some LL Bean slippers and informed him of his gift to me. Not a surprise but… whatever, I wanted a pair of shoes.

  34. jennybean says:

    haha! Had to laugh at this! This year for my birthday his gift to me was not complaining about the credit card bill when I bought a few things online for myself! Happy Birthday to you!!

  35. Bethany Soler says:

    Happy Birthday!! I’m also an October child. It’s really the best time of the year to have a birthday. And to pick out your own birthday gift.

  36. HM says:

    Happy birthday Amber! Your request is much more reasonable than mine – to go out with friends, all dressed up, AT NIGHT instead of putting kids to bed and myself falling asleep exhausted shortly after… Echo others on wanting to see those boots! Have a great day ๐Ÿ™‚

  37. Courtney says:

    My husband is much better at dressing me than I am. He says he’s going to to put a full-length mirror at the door so I have a second chance to notice I don’t match.

    So, he picks out my presents. And his, for that matter. It’s the natural order of the world.

    Happy birthday!

  38. Corrie says:

    Happy Birthday

  39. Karin says:

    Happy Birthday!

  40. amy says:

    Happy Birthday! I request actual photo of not-crappy red boots!

  41. Happy Birthday! I too would like to see the boots!

    My husband’s first present to me was a drill. Tell me how you’d interpret that one?

    I have a theory on the bathroom thing, any part of my body being naked, even in the bathroom, triggers a silent alarm that only children and pets can hear:

    If anyone figures out how to disable this alarm, I’d be happy to know!

  42. Julie says:

    Happy birthday!!

  43. Celia says:

    For Mother’s Day I asked for sleep and a clean house. He did clean the house but didn’t do anything about the sleep.

  44. Alison says:

    Happy birthday!
    I wish my husband would let me pick out my own gifts. He usually gets me something that I like ok but not what I really want.

  45. BeckyKay says:

    Happy Birthday! My birthday gift was an afternoon of shopping for myself ALONE!!

    It was divine.

  46. Briana says:

    Happy birthday!!!

    Red boots sound like a fabulous birthday present!

  47. Michele says:

    Happy happy birthday!

  48. Sukie says:

    Happy birthday ๐Ÿ˜€

  49. Sukie says:

    I mean happy, crappy birthday… ๐Ÿ˜€ ^^

  50. Anne says:

    Happy Birthday! And I hope you got a private poop, too, if only by some miracle of timing that no one even thought they should try to make happen.

  51. Becky says:

    My husband’s first birthday gift to me when we were dating was a DVD of The Big Lebowski. I couldn’t help but think of the commercial where the husband gives his wife a chainsaw for Mother’s Day. The Big Lebowski?!

    • amber says:

      Aw, that is a hugely romantic gift from a man. My interpretation: “I want you to fully educate yourself on this movie so you understand what I’m talking about when I quote it.” Totally a serious relationship move. lol

  52. Kerry says:

    Happy Birthday!

    The other day my husband said to me, “So, um, you’re turning 35 this year. Do I have to do something big?” We both thought for a moment before I realized I’d turned 35 last year. So, um, no!

  53. Christine says:

    Happy Birthday! Some day you will poo in peace.

  54. Salt says:

    Happy birthday! New shoes sound fantastic!

  55. Elizabeth says:

    Happy Birthday ๐Ÿ™‚

  56. Katie B says:

    Happy Birthday! My husband also tends to lack on the gift giving side of things.

    One year, for our anniversary, we were working in the same office at the time. I told him I wanted flowers on my desk on our anniversary. I even jokingly created a FB event and invited him and our friends to it. The day before, everyone was reminding him and joking with him. Everyone kept saying “Flower, desk, anniversary!”

    Then the day came. I got to my desk and there…

    was a bag of Gold Medal Flour that had “Happy Anniversary! Love, Nick” written on the side. ๐Ÿ™‚ I I still have that bag of flour. I love it!

    • amber says:

      LOVE that!

    • Ceri says:

      any good hubby knows that if you work in an office the ONLY way to get flowers is on your desk, I mean what is the point if all the other woman in the office don’t fawn over them and WISH they had flowers. Right? I mean what is the point if not?

  57. Kendra says:

    For my birthday after I’d had our second kid, my DH got me a Goodwill gift certificate. I do like bargain shopping, but really? Goodwill?

  58. Sheri says:

    My husband’s “first ever birthday gift to me” was a handicap bread knife. I guess he didn’t like the way I cut bread and felt I need a guide. That’s when I made the “S” rule. Gifts to me from him had to be shiny, stinky or sweet.

  59. Krista says:

    My husband buys me DVD’s and board games that we never play. I think we need to just start doing this.

  60. Lynn says:

    Happy Birthday! Sounds like a great gift to me ๐Ÿ™‚

  61. Megan says:

    happy birthday amber! we do gifts in a similar manner. i email a link of the exact thing i want for my birthday/christmas (a week apart) and still don’t receive said gift. but get complained at that i’m so hard to shop for. i give the same speech every year: “i like anything that is pink, sparkly, coffee, or a book.” and it never sinks in.

    glad your got your red boots ๐Ÿ™‚

  62. Rachel Blackett says:

    Happy Birthday Amber! Hope you had a wonderful day and manged to get to the toilet in peace at least once today!

  63. Julie says:

    Hey, it’s my birthday too! Enjoy!

  64. Karin says:

    Happy Birthday!!!!!! Could you please draw the salt and pepper shakers! So cute, I love that.

  65. Joleine says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Love love love your blog!!

  66. Felicity says:

    Happy Birthday!!! Mine was last week. I didn’t actually need anything or want anything so I just asked for us to go out without the baby for dinner and a movie. So lame but I enjoyed every minute of it ๐Ÿ™‚ Also we had fun shopping … for the baby’s snowsuit LOL

  67. Aimee says:

    Happy birthday! Also…I totally understand your first gift request.

  68. Maggie says:

    It’s my birthday today too! I asked for a day of nothing – to not have to get up and do the get ready for school routine, and to not have to make or clean up supper. The first half went well! ๐Ÿ™‚ Happy birthday!

  69. Happy Birthday! I was going to say that my husband & I don’t do gifts but I guess that’s not exactly true. He surprised me with a Kindle Fire this year. I just had to be extra specially nice to him lol

  70. Kate says:

    Have a totally Crappy Happy Birthday and thanks for the gift of laughter every day, with the bonus of new blogging friends I have met through your crappy collaboration posts!!
    Can’t wait to see your new red boots!!

  71. Sandra says:

    Happy Birthday Amber. Best wishes from the Czech Republic, I love your blog and cannot wait for your book, hope I will be able to get it over here ๐Ÿ™‚ Have a great one!

  72. IDS says:

    Happy birthday Amber!

  73. cassie says:

    This is cute. It’s the opposite at my house, my husband always surprises me with something wonderful and thoughtful. I on the other had tell him to get himself something nice hahahaha!

  74. Kate says:

    ps – once I kept begging for a pair of 2 carat earrings over and over and over. one day I got a large box with – wait for it – 2 pairs of carrots , each set was connected with a string to “wear” over each of my ears. I should have been a little more specific.

  75. Happy Birthday!! It is a FABULOUS day to be born…my daughter was born on this day 17 years ago when she was supposed to be born in January…so yeah….
    BTW – my whole family was laughing until we were CRYING at the potty training boys vs. girls post last night. That drawing of the dirty toilet is spot ON…as is every word of that post! I cannot tell you how much I loved it!! ๐Ÿ™‚ Have a great bday!

  76. Andie's Mommy says:

    Happy Birthday! This year for my birthday I just ordered myself something and then told my husband that he already bought me my present. I didn’t even give him the option of pushing the submit button!

  77. eccentricess says:

    *wipes tears of glee from her eyes*
    Oh, yes, the joys of private toileting.
    I do recall a mini breakdown in front of hubby, when our singleton was three, that culminated in him taking Lil’ Miss for a walk so I could go to the toilet without being climbed.
    Happy Bootsday!

  78. Pam says:

    A few weeks before my birthday one year my car was stolen. So for my birthday my husband bought me “the club”. Practical? Yes. Fun? No. Needless to say I now go out and get myself a gift and tell him what he has bought me:-)

  79. cass says:

    happy birthday. and yes, red and purple are one of the best color combos out there.

  80. Lauren says:

    Happy birthday! Enjoy your boots!

  81. annie says:

    Happy birthday, Amber!!

    I always ask for high-dollar items I’d never get otherwise. This year I got a Dyson. Last year, a Brighton purse. Years past: Vitamix, digital camera, etc. I’m happy, he’s happy…

    The year we dated he got me expensive grandma-scented perfume, so I knew I had to take matters into my own hands to prevent marital discord lol!!

  82. Elizabeth says:

    How awesome is having your own blog and blog followers? & I thought Facebook was great for making you feel amazing with so many Birthday messages (mine was last week) – I got nothing compared to this blog post!
    So please let me add mine – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! (and, yes, it is worth yelling) I’m glad you were born because you bring much laughter and joy into my life! ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks!

    and p.s. – 22 years of marriage and we do birthdays the same way – specific items, down to either the UPC code or EXACT location in a store; or his preferred way – in my arms at the store. ๐Ÿ™‚ We must be normal after all!

  83. Happy Birthday! I love how your hubby said taking a crap in peace was too much to ask for.

    My birthday is tomorrow, and I asked for a date night with my husband. He also said I was asking too much as we 1. Have no sitters and 2. He is racing his car this weekend and has to work on it all week.

    Sigh…whatever, get me a Macy’s gift certificate and I’ll be happy.

  84. Amy says:

    Next stop: Zappos and DSW to shop. Red boots? I’m intrigued. Could I pull it off? “Who’s that dangerous lady in the red boots?” “It’s me, guys.” “Oh.”

  85. cathy says:

    Husband and I share our birthday. So it’s a “gift exchange”. I admit he’s the thoughtful/creative/romantic gift-giver, I’m the one who asks him for an exact part number and store to buy from and I order very carefully for that exact item.

  86. Shea says:

    Happy Birthday! My husband got me a switch blade for self defense this year. It’s still in the box…

  87. MJ says:

    After the “universal remote control” Christmas of 2009 we have been doing gift giving this way, too! It’s just so much easier for all involved ๐Ÿ˜‰ We have used the heck out of that remote control though…

  88. Vidette says:

    I opted for a new kick-butt computer over a wedding ring…kid you not. BTW, my husband’s first wife got a dustpan and a pair of panty hose for Christmas one year. I suppose I don’t need to explain why it didn’t last?

  89. meganleiann says:

    Happy Birthday! Red boots sound awesome!
    Past gifts from my husband include a hair dryer and those bags full of rice that you heat up in the microwave to put on your shoulders. When I just stared at the rice bag things for like 5 minutes he said, “For before I give you back rubs!”
    In his defense, for his 30th he asked for a paper shredder.

  90. Julia says:

    It’s my birthday too! So it was kinda weird to be on facebook looking through all my “Happy Birthday” wall posts and come across a “Birthday” post from you! Made me feel special in a weird twilight-zone stalker kind of way!

  91. Gina says:

    Happy Birthday! It’s my son’s birthday today too. He’s 5! (Which I just cannot believe!)

  92. Kristie says:

    I always buy myself stuff and then show it to him like look what you got me for my birthday/Christmas/anniversary/mother’s day!

  93. Cori says:

    It’s my birthday too!!!

    Happy birthday to us =]

  94. Clare says:

    Yes!! It’s my birthday too!! I’m honored! I think you are HILARIOUS!! Enjoy those red boots! Every day! ๐Ÿ™‚

  95. Kim says:

    Happy Birthday! My best friend and I used to do Christmas presents like this every year. It was a huge deal. We made a date to go shopping & to lunch or dinner a couple weeks before Christmas, would pick out our presents, the other person would buy it – and we would do the whole wrapping it up, giving it on Christmas, etc… And we both got exactly what we wanted! lol
    It works out very well…

  96. Beth says:

    My husband makes me do that too and I HATE it. I really hate knowing what I’m getting. Truth be told I would rather not get anything than have to pick it out myself.
    For me the gift giving is not so much about the gift itself as it is about spending the time thinking about the person receiving the gift. Of course it goes without saying that I am a very good gift giver.
    The one thing that my husband has always done for me though is to make me a birthday cake. He has never bought one, he always does it himself even when he is super busy ๐Ÿ™‚

  97. leah says:

    I have actually asked my husband for the poop in peace gift as well. I also compared pooping while being interupped constantly to his mother walking in while we are having “relations” and asking questions. That helped for a while.

  98. Kelly says:

    Hilarious! That’s how we do things, too. Otherwise I end up with grape-scented (I hate grape anything!) bubble bath. I have no time for bubble baths!

    My birthday is coming up (happy birthday, fellow Scorpio!) and when my hubby asked me, I said, “sleep.” He said he couldn’t help with that, so I directed him to my Amazon wishlist. Close enough!

  99. Jenn olsen says:

    My first birthday married to my husband he gave me an exercise ball, we had only been married a month and I wanted to kill him. I guess he had heard me say i wanted one, and a light bulb went off, an evil little light bulb. Last birthday he gave me a new camera so , lesson learned…lol. Happy birthday!

  100. julie says:

    Love the Red boots! We need a pic of you wearing them…happy birthday!!

  101. Kim says:

    Happy Birthday! My husband does the exact same thing!

  102. Jo says:

    Happy Birthday!

  103. Angel says:

    Happy Birthday!! My birthday is next month – already informed Hubby of gift choice for this year – lol – his “go to” is the dollar store if I don’t specify, he hates shopping.

  104. jen says:

    Happy Birthday!!! Can’t wait to see the crappy picture with the purple dress and red boots!

  105. Jules says:

    Happy Birthday!

  106. Erin says:

    We give things that we need which are expensive and we’ve been putting off for a long time. This works out because our birthdays are both in the fall and that leaves Christmas open for more creative, but cheaper things. This year, he is getting new bicycle gear so he can bike 11 miles each way to work, and I am getting very expensive walking boots because I am a full time pedestrian. Also they are super cute and waterproof. In our house, where thrift is taken to new extreme levels [paying off debt], expensive things are a luxury even if they are something to needed and that is what makes them special.

  107. Suzy says:

    Happy Birthday. I hope today you have as many smiles as I do when reading your blog =)

  108. Kristin says:

    AHHHH!! I’m dying for a pair of red boots right now! I would totally have this exact conversation with my husband… I could see it. 1) I would really like to have 5 minutes in the bathroom without a toddler pounding and screaming on the door and 2) I might want red boots even more!

  109. Maggie S. says:

    Happy Birthday. Sounds like us.

  110. Sarah G says:

    I am so spoiled by my Hubby. He is a great gift giver, because he really tries to put me first not just spend a ton of money. I think your hubby loves u lots even if gifts isn’t his gift!
    Happy Birthday!!!

  111. Alexandra says:

    Happy birthday! Best wishes to you an your lovely family for your birthday.

  112. Diana McCarthy says:

    LOL Happy Birthday to you….and me, my 39th ugh!! I purchased my own gift online also, my hubby thinks getting a home reno is a gift that keeps on giving.
    Well Cheers to us, I am going out for dinner with my hubb and 3 kids….all under 8….I may have a drink…for you!

  113. Angela says:

    Happy Birthday!!! Enjoy your boots, they sound Awesome!

  114. Samantha says:

    Happy birthday! I was given a pair of new boots as a baby shower gift, since I already had everything I needed. Today they protected my vulnerable feet from projectile spit up. Best baby shower gift ever.

  115. Erica says:

    Happy Birthday Crappy Mama! And we do the same thing re: gifts. And often we buy something for the house as our gift to each other. And sadly, we enjoy that. You know you’re old and married if you get excited about shopping a hardware/DIY store WITHOUT KIDS!!!! LOL

  116. Karen B. says:

    Happy Birthday! Did you know that you wear “Red Hat Lady” colors of purple and red? I love the red hat ladies in our town. They’re a barrel of laughs. Though, if you’re under 50, I’m told you’re supposed to wear pink and lilac as opposed to purple and red. Probably too much info here. But yeah…Happy birthday!

    • amber says:

      I haven’t ever heard of the “Red Hat Society”! I just looked it up. I’m a few years away from 50 and pink and lilac is not my thing. Funny how they say they are all about “breaking the rules” but then tell you what colors you get to wear. Ha!

  117. melissa norris says:

    It was Christmas morning and the biggest gift under the tree was addressed to me from my adoring Husband. I waited to open it last and I can’t even begin to tell you just how excited I was. Was it a new fish tank (he knows how much I love fish…right?,) a new piece of furniture, how about a big box full of clothing or, wait! How about one of those beautiful tall jewelry boxes with like 15 drawers to put my small but precious to me necklaces,earrings and bracelets in. Everyone put their gifts down and he smiled and told me, “Go ahead Liss, pick it up and open it. I can’t wait.” His emotion in his voice was purely honest and truly honest. I made my way through the drifts of wrapping paper hardly containing my curiosity and excitement for what it was. Finally getting to it on the other side of the tree, I pick it up and place it in front of me. It was a little heavy, but not heavy enough for a standing jewelry box. I untied the bow and threw all caution to the wind and wildly unwrapped the double layer of wrapping paper. Low and behold the angels sang…and Wallah…………..a Diaper Genie. Can I just mention how HARD it was to put a smile on my face and fake the appreciation by saying, “Ohhhh…..honey, a diaper genie. Thank you.” Yes, he was truly thinking of me….since I was the only one who worked on a continuous shift of changing dirty diapers for our first son. I will admit it, I was still in complete disbelief and hoped that once I opened the box something else as a surprise was lying inside. Nope…..oh and my stocking stuffer was a replacement roll for the bags that held the dirty dipes in case I was to run out. I also might mention that the diaper genie wasn’t all that fun, as when it was time to dump the doggone thing, it looked like a 10 foot giant line of Zots. Only the kind you don’t particularly want to eat or look forward to.

    • amber says:

      Oh no!!! LOL, so sorry. That is hilariously the worst present I could imagine receiving. I mean, I’m sure he intended well…trying to make your life easier and all. But it also can be interpreted as, “Here honey, I thought you’d enjoy this because you enjoy changing diapers so much.”

  118. Cassandra says:

    Happy Birthday!!!!! I hope you have an amazing day and can crap without anyone needing you ROFL! omg that made me giggle when you said that. My husband also needs help in the presents department. Christmas is coming up so I usually make him a specific list of the top five things i’d like him to buy me and i’ll usually get 3 of the five so yay! Otherwise he’d buy me cheap costume jewelry or something that little boys usually buy their mothers lol.

  119. Stacey says:

    Ah, yes – We have ditched the surprise gifts a long time ago. I asked for a steam mop a few years ago for my birthday, something I had been longing for to make life with a baby and toddler a little easier. No more crustiness around the table on the hardwoods. Our very romantic 12 year anniversary gift to eachother was a new garbage disposal (so that we could actually spend time talking with eachother while doing dishes).

  120. Kate says:

    My first birthday present from my husband was supposed to be a DVD player. We went to the store to pick it out together (surprises don’t happen here, either), but before long, my husband had steered me over to the game systems. He pointed out that an X-Box just happens to play DVDs!

    So, I got a game system for my birthday. Happy Birthday to him, too!

  121. Sarah says:

    Happy Birthday! Mine was the 22nd! I LOVE cards, and could really care less about a gift if I get a card… so I made this very clear. Many times. And it turns out I was very happy to get a card – I treasure them!

  122. Shari Duffin says:

    You always make me laugh. Thank you.

    And Happy Birthday.

  123. Danielle says:

    Happy Birthday! My boyfriend, so far, has been really great about giving gifts…but we will see come our anniversary if he still is. ๐Ÿ™‚

  124. kkadi says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! My husband is the same way. For our first Christmas together, he bought me a trashcan and little shovel, as well as a chimney flue pull, and a big ugly sack (supposedly to haul wood in). He thought it was terribly romantic “themed gift”, that said he wanted to spend romantic nights by the fire together. I just saw terribly unromantic home maintanence crap, and a not so subtle suggestion that i clean my obviously filthy fireplace. Poor guy was heartbroken that i didn’t LOVE it. Now i just make an ongoing amazon wish list and we are both happy : )

  125. I always ask to sleep in (ie for him to get up with the kids in the morning) and get the same response: impossible. I’m not as lax about it as you, though… Just thinking about it is getting me all mad. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    My birthday is next week. I really need to think of something else I want.

  126. vani petkar says:

    Happy birthday! It looks like we share our birthdays. I had lunch with husband and it was nice to eat a great meal without a toddler around, that’s my gift.

  127. Suzanne says:

    First of all happy birthday!

    Wow, you actually get a present. I may or may not get a card if anyone remembers, but a present is too much of an expectation.

    What I would give to have just five minutes to myself without any interruptions, oh well we can live the dream…

  128. Shannan says:

    Happy birthday! I hope you get exactly what you were wanting ๐Ÿ˜‰

    For my first birthday after dating, I got two pretty glass candle holders. I knew he was a keeper!

  129. Amanda Reed says:

    My hubby once got me a box of cereal. No joke…. Now I make a list of very specific wants and hope he picks a few of them. Last Christmas he did amazing though ๐Ÿ™‚

  130. Kylie says:

    Yay-it’s my birthday also! Happy Birthday to us! I also asked for a similar gift to you, and I offered a choice-either a sleep-in or a shower in complete peace and solitude. I got a bracelet instead.
    Oh well, lucky I love it, I mean it coulda been a drill. There’s always next year, or Christmas is coming……

  131. Jamey says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I think that works. My parents do the same thing and they’ve been together for 33 years now. ๐Ÿ™‚
    BTW, my birthday is on Thursday :).

  132. Theresa says:

    Happy Birthday! I was just having pretty much the same conversation with my husband last night. Except I’m thinking a Kindle instead of shoes. We’ve been together almost 20 years and we’ve both determined it works better this way for gifts. ๐Ÿ™‚

  133. Suzi says:

    The first birthday gift I received from my now-husband (of 12 years), after we had been dating for two months, was a *personal massager.* “Um. . . thanks?”
    And I still have it, too. =)

  134. Pattie says:

    I love reading your blog, and equally love reading the responses from your fellow bloggers/fans. I just live vicariously through your posts, since I am not married and have no children. Frequently, I have to clean my computer screen due to the inevitable snorting laughter that occurs, and always at the exact moment I’ve taken a sip of my morning latte.

    Oh, and Happy Birthday!

  135. Meg says:

    Happy Birthday. My bathroom is free. They are all out tonight.

  136. Kerrye says:

    My husband, for our 1st anniversary, gave me an electric can opener. I buy my own gifts now. (going on 14 years…) Happy Birthday!

  137. Angela B. says:

    Happy Birthday!!!!!

    Expecting a post when the new boots come! I’m sure crappy boy & crappy baby will love seeing the UPS guy at the door, as they always do! Lol!

  138. MargieK says:

    Happy Birthday! ๐Ÿ™‚
    I’ve bought myself presents in the past (Anniversary, Mother’s Day, etc.), too.
    But my husband thinks I have too many shoes (what does he know; he’s a guy), so would be unlikely to get away with having him authorize a shoe purchase. ๐Ÿ™

  139. Amanda says:

    Happy Happy Birthday to an amazing woman who brings laughter and joy to so many almost everyday, or at least twice a week ๐Ÿ˜€ we love you! really we do!

  140. Emma says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! And my husband’s first birthday present for me was an ipod dock…I did not even own an ipod. Oh, romance! So yes, we give gifts your way too.

  141. Alexis says:

    Hysterical! This is my husband and I to a “T.” For our 6 year anniversary last month I bought myself a pair of earrings and he bought himself a watch. We didn’t even have each other push the “submit order” button like we used to ; )
    Happy Birthday!!

  142. BrittVM says:

    My husband and I had been dating for about a month when Christmas rolled around and his first gift to me was more RAM for my computer, you know you can never have enough of that.

  143. Freya says:

    Oh! The Pressure! Its my birthday in a little over a week and I haven’t had any requests to know what I want. Makes me VERY concerned.
    For Valentine’s Day a few years ago, he bought me diamond earrings. Romantic huh? Except, I don’t have my ears pierced, nor plan to. We’d been together about 5 years at that point, and he had failed to notice. Sigh.

    • LindaR says:

      I will gladly take those off your hands… (since I lost the ones my man gave me – eep! – in my defense, we relocated several states away… does that make it less awful?)

  144. Lonnie Marquardt says:

    Happy birthday!

  145. LindaR says:

    Happy birthday!

    I have to admit, I still yearn for surprise gifts (that I must love)… but as long as it’s something from my Amazon wish list, I’ll accept it without pouting. ๐Ÿ™‚

  146. Brian says:

    Happy birthday!

  147. ariel espiritu says:

    happy birthday!!! it’s my birthday, too!! just kidding..

  148. Addie says:

    first, Happy Birthday! second, I sure hope the red boots show up in a future blog, they sound fab! ๐Ÿ™‚

  149. Jen says:

    My husband once gave me a shade sensitive highly watered plant. I can’t even remember what it was. It couldn’t have sun, it needed 8 Litres of water spaced evenly over a week and it was bug sensitive. He loved the pretty pink flowers and thought he was getting the BEST gift EVER.

    We had to plant it at my MILs house as it was the only place with suitable soil (this was yet another of the requirements) and it flowered ONCE then died.


  150. Jean says:

    I hope you are having a wonderful birthday and many more to come!

  151. emily g says:

    Happy Birthday!! We should also all thank Amber’s mom and dad for providing us with endless humor!!

  152. Brianna says:

    Pink cover-alls and a Carhart coat! ๐Ÿ™‚

  153. Nicole Pollock says:

    Last year I bought an iPhone for my husband because I knew he desperately wanted to have one to keep up in the world of technology and gadgets but didn’t want to spend the money without my blessing. He was so happy for it. We also went out to Red Lobster for supper as a family of 3 (we took our 16 months old boy, plus I was pregnant and just got over the nausea stage of my second pregnancy).

    My birthday is 3 weeks after his. For my birthday day, he bought me the movie “Rio” (yes, that is the cartoon movie about the blue bird) saying this way we could watch it with our son. He accompanied this gift with a Snuggie (yep, the blanket with sleeves). I did not suggest either gifts to him. I said I didn’t really want anything at all.

    To this day, I dislike that snuggie (the material isn’t cozy at all), but he uses it all the time. And the Rio movie is in the box with the kids’ movies. He really should have stuck with just the card like I had suggested.

  154. Nicole MacRae says:

    Hop on a plane, fly over here to Toronto, Ontario. I’ll watch the boys, and you can stink up my bathroom! LOL
    But seriously, happy birthday, hope he gets the right shoes!

    • amber says:

      See, it is offers like this one that make blogging worthwhile. You know you’ve found your people when they offer to let you use their bathroom.

  155. Tammy says:

    Happy Birthday!
    I hope you have a great day and a wonderful year.

    And we do the same thing about b-day gifts, too!

  156. Macy says:

    Happy Birthday, Amber! Hope you’re havig an awesome day! Wishing you many more years of love & happiness (so you can spread that happiness to us through your posts).

    Enjoy the new boots! You always get new shoes on your birthday! (Been following you since your blog). Hope you can take a photo with the purple dress & post it to your blog like you always do.

    • amber says:

      True, it is a birthday tradition! And I will be doing the real life version on ye olde blog when I get them!

  157. Bethany says:

    Happy birthday! And i fully expect some red boot wearing action in future pictures!

  158. Melli says:

    Happy birthday!
    At least your husband remembered yours, mine forgot my birthday this year….there were very nice shoes by way of an apology-I did have to pick them out though :-/

  159. Juli and Eliz Mommy says:

    Happy Birthday!! I really love your posts!!!

  160. Happy Birthday! My husband used to be in the habit of waiting until the last minute (as in, day of my birthday) to order something online, so then he would print out the order info and wrap THAT. But now all I ask for is the day off. Sometimes I get it.

  161. deeda says:

    My husband and I do the same thing. In fact, today is our anniversary and we’re both strolling around in the shoes we each picked out from Amazon. LOL

    Happy Birthday! I’m really glad you’re here ๐Ÿ™‚

  162. Danielle says:

    Happy Birthday! My birthday was yesterday and the gift-giving process was quite similar to yours! Thanks for the laughs!

  163. Bee says:

    Happy Birthday Amber!! I TOTALLY get you on the gift thing. Hubby and I are like that too. In fact, sometimes we just skip it and I just get what I want LOL. Easy and awesome.

  164. Debbie says:

    Happy Birthday!
    I think your “technique” is wonderful because it is win-win. We have also done the “This is what I want for Christmas,” as I give him a catalog with the item circled and the particulars underlined. The problem here is he needs to order in an appropriate time so the item is not sold out. Iffy at best!

  165. Happy Birthday! Me and hubby do gifts that way too. No shame. Red boots and purple dress sounds awesome!

  166. Dawn says:

    For my 40th this year, I told hubby all I wanted was a nice bottle of champagne. He bought it, but gave it to me unchilled and in the box. When I told him I had hoped to drink said champagne, his reply was, “Oh, I thought you’d want to save it for a special occasion.” Um, yeah. Like maybe my 40th birthday? Anyway, now I’m pregnant with our 4th, so that bottle sits in our basement for at least 6 more months. Maybe my 41st birthday will be a more worthy time to drink it. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  167. Monica says:

    Happy birthday! Your crappy blog always brightens my mood. ๐Ÿ™‚

  168. Melissa says:

    Happy birthday!

  169. pcakes says:

    Happiest of birthdays! You rule!!

  170. Moji says:

    In most other parts of the world, gift giving has been made very easy for the husband. This practice has been going on for centuries. The woman measures his love and worth for her, with the amount of gold he buys her and she wears it on her most of the time.

    What could be easier than that? I’m not saying this is what your husband should do, just saying that this is how it is in many other parts of the world.

    And imagine, with the rise in gold prices these past few years, I bet some of those woman could sell their gold and put their kids through college.

    Happy birthday, you’re fabulous.

  171. Dannielle says:

    Happy Birthday Amber. I hope some day you can take a crap without anyone needing you. I can not wait for the day when I can eat a meal without having to wipe someones ass! My kids want to poop while they eat! SOOOO GROSSS!

  172. Meredith says:

    My birthday is on Friday and my husband and I just had the exact same exchange this morning! (Except that I already have TWO pairs of red boots and so this year I want a juicer…so I can be the bedraggled WAHM of a toddler but have glowing skin and shiny insides).

  173. Jen says:

    Our first Christmas after having a baby when the old one just wasn’t up to the new level of crumbs babies bring to the party, hubby got me a vacuum cleaner. But wait, there’s more. When the house needed vacuuming, he pulled out our black and yellow vacuum (to my man, this color says “I’m not a Dewalt (expensive tool brand), but you can pretend if you want that your favorite tool company makes household appliances as well”) and he took care of business. It was the gift that kept on giving, for a good many years. So when he wanted to get “me” a new one last year, who was I to argue?

  174. Krista says:

    Happy Birthday! That is the exactly the way we do birthdays around here… I still *try* to find something my husband will like without him telling me, but it doesn’t happen very often!

  175. Chris Carter says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMBER!!! I always get a Kohl’s card… expect it and love it because he doesn’t have to do anything but get the card and I pick out the gift! WOOT! ๐Ÿ™‚

  176. Katie says:

    Happy Birthday! Hubby and I do gifts this way, too. If you’re going to get a gift, better it be something you truly want/need, rather than a useless piece that I would have to find room for in my little house. I hate clutter.

  177. willow matteson says:

    My husband always complains when I ask for things like shoe for my birthday, apparently they are “no fun” and presents are supposed to be frivolous? I feel guilt spending more than $20 on myself so a $50 pair of shoes is as frivolous as I get!

  178. Colleen Potvin says:

    My gifts were usually a vague choice from me – jewellery, a book, etc. and my husband would enlist the help of my daughter to pick out the one I would like, as she knew my taste in things so well. Now, since her death, I think your idea would be good. He is very loving and wants to please, he just doesn’t know exactly what I like.
    Many happy returns of the day and may all your wishes come true for the next year.

  179. Laura says:

    Happy Birthday!!
    I am so glad you got exactly what you wanted…and RED– is there a better footwear colour to be had? Non!
    The way it shakes down in our house is that having my birthday 6 days before the hub…. yeah funny he always seems to remember mine without A-N-Y trouble!

  180. Emily says:

    Hope you had an awesome birthday! Thanks for the laughs and sharing your regular family adventures with us all… not that your family is regular but that you share adventures regularly. Take Care!

  181. Kelly says:

    Happy Birthday Crappy Mama!! Make sure you draw a Crappy Picture of you wearing your new red birthday boots with the matching red Spanx hat. Here’s hoping you are having a non-crappy day today!!

  182. Kelly says:

    Happy birthday to you! We share the same birthday. Hope you were able to find some peace and quiet today!!

  183. Mercy says:

    Happy Birthday! I totally understand as my hubby is the same, he hates shopping for gifts. It is the perfect way to torture him. ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ve had 1 surprise Christmas gift since we were married; the rest of the time I buy my own birthday and Christmas gifts. Guess I’ll have to train my kids to shop for me once they are old enough. ๐Ÿ™‚

  184. Ioana says:

    Happy Birthday! La multi ani! ๐Ÿ™‚

  185. I go so far as to press “Submit” myself. And I use my own credit card. Then I inform my husband of what he’s buying for me.

    Romantic? No. Practical? You bet.

    Happy birthday!

  186. Candi says:

    Happy birthday!

    My husband does okay for birthdays, since he usually takes me to the coast for the night, or something like that. Last year it was fondue and the zoo in our nearest city, which I genuinely loved. But Christmas… he Christmas fails every year. I don’t even really want anything, but he buys “panic gifts.” He goes out on Christmas Eve fully intending to find The Perfect Gift. He walks around for a while, then grabs something off the “wife/girlfriend pile” in the store. You know… already wrapped perfume, cheap watches, etc. Last year it was one of those self-pedicure foot soaker things. Year before it was a sleep mask/slipper combo.

    He’s really great, so I feel completely ungrateful even typing this, but oh, I wish the stores would stop with the “Gift Ideas for Your Wife” section.

  187. Jems says:

    Happy Birthday!!! Hope you had a fabulous day! xxxx

  188. Caz says:

    Woohoo! Happy birthday! (all the best people have October birthdays! Mines the 5th ๐Ÿ˜‰ lol) hope you had a great day!

    I was pleasantly surprised when I got a beautiful silver necklace and a wooden carved jewellery box for my birthday. I was expecting the box but not the necklace. Only down side was I gave him a budget and he well overspent it :/ baby steps I guess….

  189. Mariska says:

    Happy birthday! I just asked for a gift last week. Not because it was my birthday, but because I just needed something nice. He spent half a’n hour picking out the right smell of bodylotion. Now isn’t that sweet!

  190. Oh yay, it’s my birthday on the 23rd October too! And I did the exact same thing with my husband – only with a turquoise leather bag – which would go perfectly with red boots and a snazzy purple dress, no?
    Happy birthday by the way!
    Love Chrissy

  191. Joyeux Anniversaire Amber! Enjoy the red boots!

  192. MarineMommy2012 says:

    Lol, my hubby does that too, but he forgets to actually buy things, so we usually just get dinner instead.
    Happy Birthday!!

  193. Shannon says:

    Now you can draw yourself in a purple dress with red boots!

  194. Kristin says:

    Happy Birthday! You’re an October baby. I knew there was a reason I liked you. My own special day was last week. I had, for three months, left a list on our massive kitchen chalkboard with six gift ideas, ranging from those cute little low mason jars to my favourite bread book to gift certificates for yarn. He chose to ignore every one of them, and get me an iPod Touch. Which I do not want, never wanted, and in fact have loudly shared my despise for all hand-held portable devices. It’s sitting in his glove compartment now, where he has forgotten for so long to return it that it’s now too late to do so. Bye bye, 200 bucks.

    I just wanted some jars! Jars, I tell you, jars!

  195. Carolyn F. says:

    One of our first Christmases, I got a waffle iron. I don’t remember ever lamenting that I wasn’t able to make my very own waffles from scratch. The next Christmas, I got a very weird planter-thingy that looked like a giant teacup. Do like plants, but usually kill them. He did pick up on my discontent for the waffle iron, and the new mantra is dont get me anything that plugs in! I’ve started making lists, but def takes away any surprise factor. And he usually doesn’t follow it anyway! guess I know he loves me anyway– ๐Ÿ˜‰

  196. Jenn says:

    Not to pile extra work on you for your birthday, but I think now you’re going to have to draw the red boots. Every time. Yeah. ๐Ÿ™‚

  197. Amy says:

    We do gifts this way! My first gift was a cheese grater. An octagon shaped cheese grater. The only way to clean it was in a dishwasher. We lived in an apartment without a dishwasher.
    *This way everyone is happy.

  198. Tara says:

    ok so I’m a day late…but happy birthday nonetheless…and…red boots !?! oooOOOoo you are talkin’ my language girlfriend!
    Oh, I like this kind of gift giving too…oh sure, I like the surprises too..but, fact is, I suck at gift giving..hub is better, but only when he can spend bigger $ … like…when I asked for a new camera lens because my beloved broke…he bought me a whole new camera upgrade :p The lens would have been 1/4 the price..and sufficed…but I’m not complaining. That surprise was super nice. ๐Ÿ˜€

  199. Kinzie says:

    Happy birthday! It’s my husband’s birthday, too. He got new lenses for his Oakley sunglasses. He needed them SO badly – I couldn’t even see out of those things. Also, it’s Cat Deeley’s birthday, too. Random fact. I hope you enjoy those boots! (lol@ click “submit order”.)

  200. Jocelyn Stover says:

    My husband is the WORST gift-giver EVER! But he refuses to let me tell him what to get me!! He insists on SURPRISING me, and oh yes–he always does surprise me, but not in a good way….I fake it really well, but then he realizes that I don’t wear or use what he gets me and gets really upset…*facepalm*

  201. Becky says:

    Happy Birthday!
    Love the red boots…attitude from the ground up!

  202. Dian says:

    I’m late but………HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

  203. Dawn says:

    I once got a mop-head for mother’s day…disguised in a Pringles can. He could have at least given me the Pringles! Definitely my most “memorable” gift!

  204. Monica Lewinski says:

    Happy Belated Birthday! Hope you enjoy those shoes. Thank you for all the laughs and smiles.

  205. Chelsea says:

    Happy Birthday yesterday! No wonder I love your blog, we have the same birthday. Yay for the Libra/Scorpio cusp!

  206. Sally says:

    Next time you need inspiration check out:

    They have some pretty wicked items there to get your noggin goin on gift ideas.

  207. Bex says:

    My birthday was last week. My husband usually tries to surprise me and it always turns into an epic fail so he gives up and gets me nothing. This year he told me that my present wasn’t going to be here in time. I wasn’t surprised at all. So when he woke me up on my birthday he was so excited to tell me that he ordered me a Silhouette Cameo for me. WHAT!?!?! Was my response. I was so in shock it was ridiculous. Sometimes he gets it. But I love him always, whether he gets it or not.

  208. Heidi says:

    I asked for time to myself, in my own house, for Mother’s Day (more than an hour), and – I got it. He took the (three) children to his brother’s house for the weekend, and I cleaned, sewed, and drank wine. It was so awesome, but after they’d been home for two hours, the house was a mess and I was yelling again – it may not have been worth it.

  209. Jana says:

    I clicked “checkout” myself and later informed my husband what “he” had gotten me for my birthday. No memory required. He has forgotten too many times to be trusted.

  210. maryjquitecontrary says:

    Happy Birthday!

  211. Sara says:

    My husband buys from an “approved list”..a short, specific list…that I make throughout the year, that way I know that I’m getting something I want AND I’ll still be somewhat surprised at what I get. It works well ๐Ÿ™‚

  212. Molly says:

    The Nordstrom half-yearly sale starts right before my birthday, so I usually just ask my husband to entertain the kids for the afternoon so I can go to lunch and shopping for myself (either with my girlfriends or alone.) It works out well for all!

  213. Amy says:

    Happy Birthday!

    PS: I also suffer from husband-not-knowing-what-a-good-gift-looks-like-itis. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  214. Michelle says:

    Happy birthday! Enjoy your boots.

  215. Deborah says:

    Happy Belated Birthday!! Hope it was full of wonderful surprises anyway (and a peaceful crap!!) ๐Ÿ˜‰

  216. Lula says:

    (belated) Happy Birthday!
    …and I hope that your wish gets granted some time soon ๐Ÿ˜‰

  217. Brooke says:

    Okay, my husband is not allowed to see this post. How can I continue the guilt trip if he knows he’s not the only one to forget birthdays and give crappy presents?

  218. Melanie says:

    We started that gift giving practice after a horrific Valentine while dating. 20 years later, it still works. All gift giving done cooperatively. I occasionally miss the idea of romance and getting the perfect gift surprise and then I wake up, smell the guy and enjoy getting exactly what I wanted-because I picked it. ๐Ÿ™‚

  219. Beata says:

    Last Christmas my boyfriend got me a voltage checker. -After- Christmas. Only after realizing I got him like three presents and he got me none.

  220. Starla says:

    We have the same birthday! =D When I was dating my (now) husband, for my first birthday he bought me a tattoo. Loved it. (Still do.) After 7 years…we don’t do birthdays anymore. We also don’t do Christmas for each other. We do anniversaries, though (this year we got compound bows, arrows and hip holsters for the arrows) and I’m plan on making him a dozen bacon roses for Father’s Day.

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