Look! Mushrooms! Sharing the World With Kids

Before I had kids, I had visions of what it would be like to show the world to them.

We’d discover and explore and learn! And it would be magical!

For example, we’d go on a hike and find a patch of mushrooms.

The Magic would happen:

The Learning would happen too:

They’d be fascinated. Curious. Isn’t the world amazing?

And now that I am a parent I know the truth.

This is exactly what happens.

10% of the time.

And this is what happens the rest of the time…

 

The Destruction

“Let’s destroy their elvish village!” And so on. Extra credit if they get dirty or hurt.

 

The Fighting

Fighting must be fun because they do it all the time.

 

The Boredom

Does their interest in the world increase? No. The only thing that increases is the volume of their whines.

 

The Snobbery

It doesn’t matter what I know. They already know everything.

 

The Running Awayย 

Nothing makes a kid run faster than hearing their mother yell “Stop!”

So there you have it. 10% magic & learning and 90% crap other.

This is what it is like to share the world with kids. Well, with my kids. You might be rocking a different percentage. What do you think? Did I miss anything?

Look! Mushrooms!

 

 

 

This entry was posted in before & after kids, crappy pictures, good stuff, homeschooling, learning, life, outings, parenting. Bookmark the permalink.

200 Responses to Look! Mushrooms! Sharing the World With Kids

  1. Juliana B says:

    All true. All of it!

  2. Sudden onset hearing loss. When mine are together, they become completely unable to hear anyone or anything else.

    • amber says:

      Yes! Good one.

      • Melanie says:

        Yes defintiely agree with the hearing loss. It takes my 3 year old about 5 tries of me saying the same thing over and over again each time an octave louder for her to even give me 1 minute of her attention!

        • Gina says:

          My 4 yr old will tell me “I can’t hear you.” even when he is standing RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Starting to wonder if I need to get his hearing checked!

          • Becky Letts says:

            My 5 year old will actually tell me she didn’t hear me when she obviously did. It’s always right after a clean up time announcement.

    • Lauren says:

      amen! mine seems to have a very serious case of that all by himself

    • Lene says:

      my both suffer from the SHS – Selective Hearing Syndrome… (we actually all have it, it must be very contagious)

    • Melli says:

      The advice I was given when my firstborn had his newborn hearing check-when they are older and you ask them do do something and they seem to not hear you, try the candy test…..whisper the name of their favorite candy and when they respond, say, well, you can hear me, now……(insert command here)

  3. Ginger says:

    oh boy i have alot to look forward to with my 15 month old!

    • Melissa says:

      The running away has already started with my 11-month-old. We had him outside last night and he started crawling at top speed, down the driveway and toward the street. Calling his name only made him move faster!

  4. Kim says:

    This is my life. We hike & backpack a LOT with our girls. The “STOP! THERE’S A CLIFF! STOP!” made me want to curl up and cry because I’ve been there sooo many times.

    And although they do everything you mention – I have to admit that I adore hiking and backpacking with them. They slow my husband and I down and make us look at things we use to walk right over. Every flower is beautiful, every cricket is A.MAZING., every stick must be carried, every rock must be thrown in every river/lake/puddle. Everything is new & exciting and it’s so much fun to see that again, through their eyes.

    • amber says:

      “so much fun to see that again, through their eyes” yep. Truth.

    • Lacy says:

      So true! My kids see everything and there are so many things I would never notice. They decorate at the grocery store ABOVE where the food is. I don’t think I ever noticed that until my kids started pointing it out. “Look, a polar bear!” “What? Oh, you’re right!”
      It happens everywhere.

      • Theresa says:

        This happens to me all the time. And I love that she makes the shoppers around us smile and laugh at her comments. “Look Mommy, a palm tree!” ๐Ÿ™‚

    • neal says:

      Way cool. What ages are your girls? I saw a book not to long ago about a mom who made a goal summit the 40 tallest mountains in her New England state (Maine?) with her 5-year-old. Mine is 2.5, and I have dreams of hiking with her, if only I can get her to stop whining “carry me” everywhere we go.

      • Kim says:

        Mine are 2ยฝ and 4 and I own that book! It’s called “Up” and it’s FANTASTIC. The 48 4000′ peaks in NH – that is no small endeavor even for adults! New England hiking is rugged.

        I can tell you a secret – the best thing I ever did for the girls was to buy them “real” hiking-backpacks in toddler size and let them carry them wherever they want, even if it’s empty. They get use to it and think it’s very grown up. The other thing to do is start small. Let her walk as far as she wants and encourage her. Scavenger hunts are fun for keeping their interest. As long as they have fun, they’ll want to go again and again.

        We live in Montana, very near Glacier NP and do a lot of hiking there. This past summer we did a 5 mile round trip hike and both girls walked the whole way, with their little packs. It took us for-evah and it was amazing.

        They love backpacking even more because they get to “camp out”.

        Do you have a carrier for your daughter? If not, I suggest the Deuter Kid Comfort III. It’s spendy, but worth EVERY penny – comfort for you AND your daughter and easily adjusted for you or your wife to carry. ๐Ÿ™‚

        • Sonja says:

          I second the Deuter Kid Comfort III!! We have tried multiple carries and this is by far our favorite one and it makes hiking so much easier. Love the sunshade and the little pillow for the kiddo.

        • Mary says:

          Up is a great read! I actually came across them when I was hiking Osceola a few years back (pre-kids). Little did I know that this little girl was working on her 48! I just remember thinking that’s what I want to do with my kids when I have them.

          Oh, I used to live in Bozeman. I miss MT!

          • Kim says:

            Oh you mean “Hallowed Ground”? LOL My husband has two degrees from MSU – we drive through there and he’s like “a moment of silence please”. HA! Actually, we’ll be driving through tomorrow en route to Billings. We live in Kalispell ๐Ÿ™‚

            MT is gorgeous, but I’m a VT girl and I sure do miss it!

    • Michelle says:

      And this is why I teach environmental education to children and love every single second of it. <3

    • Rachel Blackett says:

      if i could like this i would! that is awesome!

    • Julie says:

      We hike and backpack too. It takes some mental preparation to be ready to throw your agenda out the window in order to spend the next half mile collecting acorns, but worth it and pretty much required if anyone is going to have any fun. My daughter was just starting to get an adult pace and find interest in adult things (getting up the hill for the sake of the view ahead, for example), when I got pregnant with number 2. So back to slowing down, bringing a book, and leaving room in my pockets for acorn overflow.

      • Kim says:

        Yes! That was hard for my husband and I to adjust to. We went from 20 mile day hikes to 2 mile all day long scavenger hunts. ๐Ÿ™‚

        I’ve learned the patience paid off because they are now the ones saying “can we go hiking?” My 4 year old asked me once if we could climb “all of those mountains” while pointing at the West side of Glacier NP. My heart dang near burst with pride. lol

        • Becky Letts says:

          I tell my kids we are going on an “adventure walk” and they love it. I do bring usually along the double jogger or my baby backpack (I have 3 kids 5 and under). So, once they get tired I can keep going, but I have to know the trail first in case it’s rocky or narrow.

          • Grown up kids says:

            When my son’s were little, hiking was about the things we found, including dinosaur food (ferns) huge slugs, and animal tracks. With my step daughters ages 2 and 5 its more about the destination…finding the waterfalls, the tide pools, etc. With all of them racing helped. When they would become whiney and want to be carried, we’d rest or carry them briefly, but then suggesting a race would always perk them up and they go from slow motion to top speed in seconds!

  5. betsy says:

    You forgot somehow incorporating the mushrooms into a potty joke. ANYTHING can be made into a potty joke by my two boys…

  6. My daughter thinks mushrooms are gross and it kills me, though they do grow in poop and all…

  7. Annie says:

    Your kids don’t try the blind taste test of every thing? Mine must be unique, then.

    • amber says:

      Not anymore, thank goodness. They ate plenty of dirt in their time though. And they’ve sampled every plant in our yard.

      • Lacey S says:

        My son had a lot of fun playing (pretending to fall onto his b*tt) in the puddles yesterday, and so I stripped off his pants the minute we got inside. A few hours later he comes up to me, carrying his pants and a weird, disgusted look on his face. I looked a little closer and saw the dirt around his mouth – he’d felt the need to sample his pants! I was grateful it was just mud on them – there are so many worse possibilities now that we’re potty training… ๐Ÿ˜›

    • Rosanne says:

      Yes! That was the one I was waiting for–the taste test.

  8. Deneen says:

    nope, you got it bang on! ya make me feel normal! cheers! xod

  9. The truth! She speaks the truth!

    I love that you can actually get your kids to go out in nature. My kids think outside is bad. I do try to point out things as we drive in the car, but children have slow reaction times. They miss the magic. Except for water towers. They love water towers.

    • sally says:

      Ugh, mine too. I have a picture of my then-2 year old on the deck, howling and writhing, tears and snot and drama, the whole bit. The sky is perfect above him, clear and blue, because it had to be the most glorious weather day we’ve ever had in the history of days.

      His problem? He wanted to be inside. Outside was TORTURE. My 5 year old feels the same way, but instead of yelling he moans, “I hate outside!”

      I don’t know how they got this way. I take them out at every possible opportunity, and once they get over the trauma of being under the open sky, they have fun. Every time. But every time, they still protest.

      • Julie says:

        Ug.. I couldn’t hand that. I kick my kids outside every chance I get. When they were a few weeks old it was sometimes the only way I could make them stop crying. Maybe they like it because of that? Could be because they were born in the spring during lovely hiking weather. I was hiking with my daughter five days after delivery, and had my son outside the night he was born. Or maybe the trick is to keep the inside boring? I don’t do that on purpose, but we have a small house, a few crappy toys, mostly second hand and some from the 70’s, and very limited TV. The kids are happy to get out of here.

  10. Marija says:

    You missed percentage… it i 8% of wonder, 98% of other
    … and yes, they do know better than me, at least math…

    My kids sometimes react to mushrooms with “yucky” and run scared behind me, hiding from elves and other nasty beasts that live in mushrooms.

    • Beth says:

      Yes, I was going to say The Fear:

      Ahhhhhh! A mushroom?! Is it poisonous?? Screaming, crying, cowering behind me. . .

      • amber says:

        I’m not sure if I should be relieved or disappointed that my kids have never been afraid of anything. “What? A rattlesnake?! Let’s go make friends with it!” Sigh.

        • Pami says:

          Ha! This is how my daughter is. For the last six months or so, anything that moves is her best friend. “Oh look, Mommy! There’s my best friend Ant! And look, Mommy! There’s a spider! He’s my best friend! Wait!!! Where did my best friend Ant go?? I won’t hurt you, Ant! We’re best friends!”

    • Lala says:

      Love your math lol! 98% and 8%…..i hope your kids are better than you at math!!

  11. Erin says:

    Oh my word. Yes to all of it. Every day.

    It makes homeschooling extra fun! HAHA!

  12. Mary says:

    That’s hilarious – and I appreciate you managing my expectations. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I have only a 2-year old at the moment, but yeah, what’s up with the magic word, “stop”? I find that any time I utter that word it sends her into a frenzy of madness where anything in her vicinity is instantly thrown/kicked/touched/torn. (And why is it that I can’t stop laughing as she destroys everything in her path? Have I gone over the edge?)

    • amber says:

      Nah, laughing is a sign of health!

      • cass says:

        And a natural stress reliever. It’s either laugh, cry, or…hello, 911? Yes, please send over a straight jacket. Thanks.

      • Stephanie says:

        Laughing is the only way to hold on to whatever vestiges of sanity you have left! Otherwise, you’d be hopping up and down, screaming like a madwoman – which is what that tiny little type-A neat freak in the back of my head is usually doing. I try to laugh loud enough that I can’t hear her…

      • Rebecca says:

        I think three y.o. are the WORST with the selective hearing! I,one time, threatened to have my dtr’s ears checked. “You better be going deaf!…” Uh, she wasn’t.

    • Ariane says:

      I’ve found my kids respond better to “Freeze!” Maybe Stop means something else in their language.

      • amber says:

        Will be trying this, thanks! (Then it is more like they are playing freeze tag? Brilliant!)

      • Sara Wallace says:

        I say, “Discontinue” as in, “Discontinue touching the gum on the floor, running, hitting, etc” then they stop (all four of them) and say, “What?” I win, they stopped AND listened!

        • elly says:

          Desist and cease work well for this too!

          • Darbi says:

            I have a heedless runner. My friend, who also has one, lost hold of him to a sprint across a parking lot towards a busy street this week… and I was too far away to grab him. Just as I felt the rising freak-out, she yelled: “Nicholas, SIT!” , and he sat. I was amazed at the effectiveness of this. Awesome quick thinking.

      • Tracy says:

        The Freeze thing works for us…I think he learned Freeze Dancing at Daycare…and then when it’s really dangerous I say “Freeze Bobo”–thank goodness he loves everything Diego.

      • Andrea says:

        Freeze here as well. Or RED LIGHT! Life’s a big gigantic game to my 3!

        • jessika b says:

          We use “Red light” with our adult friends to discreetly let them know they’re about to do something dumb!
          Usually they just ignore it, like driving. And usually later they regret it.

        • Jenni says:

          I remember encountering a mom at a park who used “red light,” and her toddler guy paid no attention. She was running all over the park, “Red light. Red light! RED LIGHT!!!” as he gleefully jumped over benches and ran everywhere. Glad it works for you all. Maybe this other mom should have tried Freeze with her kid!

      • Thora says:

        “Red light” works for us. I think it is like a game to them. The funniest part is that my daughter has a very specific “red light” pose. No matter what she’s doing, she will assume the “red light” position!

        • Thora says:

          Oh, and there is another level to this ‘game’. Red light = safety issue = freeze immediately; yellow light = social issue = stop and let’s talk about why it’s not okay to hit/kick/scream at/tickle the rear end of someone else. They are USUALLY receptive to this…

      • Lauren says:

        awesome! I’ll go try that once I stop laughing

      • meganleiann says:

        Totally! We love freeze. All of a sudden I’m not the mean mom trying to make them obey. Instead I’m the fun mom who turns everything into a game!

      • Kim says:

        Oh this is a great idea! My “red light”, “green light” back-seat driving children might actually respond to me yelling “RED LIGHT” instead of “stop”.

        • Kara says:

          Oh I totally have to try “red light!”
          My little back seat driver might actually listen to that one!
          Or there’s always the method I used with my brother. Call his name 20 times to no response, then get frustrated and yell “hey, stupid”
          “What?!” Was/is always an instant reply. (He’s now 23. Just shows that whatever method you start with lingers forever)

  13. fl. says:

    I get worse. Every mushroom is pointed to me with enthusiasm and pride. And inquired about, asking a lot of relevant questions. And studied at length, as well as every beetle, spiderweb, twig… They actually think that nature discovery things are a grown up field of interest, and they don’t understand why I don’t show the same enthusiasm I showed the first time. I can’t stand nature anymore.

  14. CarynSKA says:

    I don’t really remember doing much of this kind of thing with my parents when I was a tiny little one (well, tiny-er), which is a shame. I like to think that I always would have been in the magical 10%.
    My finace and I are both big on unconventional learning, so I know this is exactly the kind of thing we would LOVE to do with our kids, and I’m also 100% sure that our kids will always fall into the 90% lol

  15. The only other one I would add would be “noooo! You can’t eat those!” Thankfully we’re out of that stage now.

  16. Nicole says:

    I’m all for learning, but you forgot the over inquirer…asking too many questions, or questions you don’t have answers to. Why are they brown? But why can’t I eat those mushrooms? What is poisonous? Will I die? What happens when I die? Why why WHY?! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • amber says:

      Yes, it can be tiring. Thank goodness for modern technology and smart phones. “Let’s see what Professor Google says!”

      • Lacy says:

        Yes! My 5-year-old says all the time “we can check it on your computer.”

        • Melly says:

          oh my, that’s my 5 year old! I love his inquisitive nature. “Lets look on the computer Mum”.
          Not really a fan of “We’ll ask Dad, cos he knows more than you, hey mum?”
          Yeah. Thanks. lol

  17. Kelli Shafer says:

    You are spot on! I take my 4 boys for a walk and all I hear is “It’s too hot.” “Too cold Mom” “Can we go home?”

  18. Julie says:

    Nothing makes a kid run faster than hearing their mother yell โ€œStop!โ€

    Seriously! And the more panicked you sound the more they giggle while doing it.

  19. Tracie says:

    I thought all the same crap before I had kids! Lol

  20. My two year old is just really getting into her “why” (or in our case “what that for?”) stage. So there is still a lot of curiosity that we’re enjoying. I do know however, that this will pass and be replaced with increased levels of whining and griping.

    Oh, and she eats EVERYTHING! I can’t wait for that stage to be over. Mushrooms would definitely wind up in the direction of her mouth. My days are filled with yelling “don’t put that in your mouth!” Fun times.

  21. Lea says:

    My 3 would try to eat them. But, forget eating clean mushrooms on an actual plate.

  22. Renee says:

    Homeschooling mom here ;0)- True Story! What I imagined HSing would be like and what it actaully is like. . .thanks for capturing my reality in crappy pictures ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Margaret says:

      This is exactly why my husband has repeatedly, and successfully, dissuaded me from homeschooling. I’m an optimist (with a blessedly bad memory) who’s convinced it’d be 100% magic and learning, with my son and me skipping hand in hand through museums and libraries and forests…and my husband’s a realist (and can remember all my son’s tantrums, whining, and begging for snacks) who knows my days would be filled with…the “90%.”

  23. Manda Roo says:

    I have a 20month old and I just remember the grand dreams while pregnant. Excited about taking him to art galleries in his baby carrier when he was tiny… then the Zoo, explaining animals too him when he’s bigger, and the park! And hikes!

    Well, he screamed whenever we were somewhere that was supposed to be quiet, at the Zoo he spent the whole time stepping on and off one of the curbs by the walk way RIGHT AFTER THE ENTRANCE, and at the park he just wants to run to the road. I’ll let you know how hiking goes but I’ve almost given up my pregnancy delusions (at least until he’s like 3.. or something).

    Yeah at 20months he’s got the “running at the STOP!” down. Hehehe

    • amber says:

      LOL, that was ALL my boys wanted to do at the zoo for years too! Balance on the curbs. The entire way. I swear it took us an hour to walk 70 yards. LOL

  24. alida says:

    Or, the sudden interest in wanting to eat said “mushrooms”. My 2 1/2 year old suddenly took an interest in “backyard mushrooms”. “Hey mommy, I eat a mushroom!”. 2.5 hours in the hospital later, she’s good. And now eats mushrooms.

  25. Wendy says:

    Your story is perfect timing for us. I took my 5 year old apple picking one day and I ran into two women I am acquainted with and their little girls. We walked along together and the girls discovered mushrooms and were very excited. The moms started telling them about the mushrooms and went into great detail. The girls were very interested in it all, until my son ran over and started kicking the mushrooms and stomping on them right in the middle of the girls impromptu outdoor lesson.

  26. Christine says:

    The word stop is no longer in my vocabulary, at least when it comes to running away. The magic words are, “Red light!” Every kid I know stops when you yell them.

  27. Robin Guyette says:

    This is SO true! Things I would expect my kids to get excited about, like mushrooms, doesn’t hold much interest for them. They get SUPER excited over mundane things, like putting hand lotion on. So, the magical wonder is still there, just not where we expect it to be. ๐Ÿ™‚

  28. Heather says:

    My son is too young to do much of this yet, but I recently asked a friend what she did with her family on the weekend, and she said, “We took the kids whining — uh, I mean, hiking.”

  29. Jennifer says:

    Yes, this is all true! Whenever I try to show my 2-year-old something new and interesting, I get, “No want it!” To which I reply, “Well SORRRRRRRY!” Haha!

  30. Kelly says:

    Mine would definitely try to eat, and I wouldn’t know till after the fact when she’d fess up “Momma, I likea shroomie. Dats yummy. I eated it”. Hence why I have Poison Control on speed dial. I’m not oblivious, she’s just ninja quick LOL

  31. Fuchsia says:

    Nothing makes a kid run faster than hearing their mother yell โ€œStop!โ€

    So true! I have had to stop saying that. Now we play “red light green light” whenever we walk places. She stops on a dime for “red light!” in a way that she never would for “stop car!”. It has seriously reduced my stress level. ๐Ÿ™‚

  32. Marisa says:

    Feels like these are made for MY boys!
    The drawings are an uncanny resemblance …facial expressions spot on…mischief to the T…and smart ass remarks a bulls-eye!

  33. Chandra says:

    We have mushrooms growing in our yard, and I have a 2yo boy & a nearly-4-yo boy. So you feel my pain……

  34. michelle dunajcik says:

    you only missed the part where they pick a stick and hit them like golf balls. mine would also try to hit them at each other to see if they would explode! the percentage is perfect. It always seems better in OUR heads! ๐Ÿ™‚ thanks again for hitting the nail on the head!

  35. Sara Munoz says:

    No, you didn’t miss anything. But I find that “FREEZE!” works pretty well. It makes stopping sound like a game.

  36. Erin says:

    Mine have done all of the above. Now that they are getting a little older (elementary school age) they are obsessed with sticks. They have sword fights and beat things with them. I have a “no beating living things” rule. My favorite was the day they picked up a huge log, carried it on their shoulders, and called it their “ho” stick. “Ho” as in the noise the ewoks made when carrying Luke and Hans Solo into their camp on sticks. My husband and I spent the whole walk bursting into laughter every time they mentioned the ho stick. The boys kept giving us weird looks. They couldn’t figure out why we were laughing. Keep hiking. It gets better. ๐Ÿ™‚

  37. Cassandra says:

    I remember finding a “fairy ring” (circle of mushrooms) and exclaiming my excitement to my Mom and sisters as I rushed over to cautiously enter and absorb some of the fae luck …… they all laughed at me and looked at me like I was crazy (of course this happened a few months ago, but they have always found my wonder and imagination to be odd).

    I am hoping that my little guy inherited my wonderlust more so than his father’s “bloodlust” (he was the best street fighter in his town growing up :::rolls eyes::: and bemoans the fact that you cant get into random “safe” fights in the US)!

  38. Christy says:

    You forgot “I have to pee” as soon as we get that far away from a toilet. And I have girls. They refuse to pee on bushes. Boys would just pee on the mushrooms.

  39. Courtney says:

    You nailed it!

  40. Angie says:

    You forgot the something shiny that inevitably will distract them from what you find cool.

    • Julie says:

      Yes.. Like, forget the mushrooms, check out this cigarette butt on the ground. Or this candy wrapper!! Where did it come from? Is there more candy????

  41. Helen says:

    Wow I admire you. Show my little one mushrooms and she would eat them, make the cat eat them, make me eat them. We ignore all wild foodstuffs and have convinced her food from supermarket good, green/brown stuff from wild/garden/plant pot is bad. We will review this when she is older, about 10 ish. Maybe :-/

  42. Lisa says:

    Most of the time, for us, it’s fighting and running away. We did once (as previous posters added) have eating. We had some pop up in the yard and my youngest ate them. We do have poisonous mushrooms in our neck of the woods, so we did the poison control call and 12 hour watch thing. Why do they need to put everything in their mouth? Sigh…

  43. Paula says:

    The snobbery is my 4 year old girl down to a tee. Lol! She would probably want to pick them and make “soup” or some sort of art project while giving a 10 minute speech (that no one is allowed to interrupt) about the fungi.

  44. krista says:

    You missed the part about the children eating (or at least trying to eat) the poison mushrooms. ๐Ÿ™‚

  45. Nancy says:

    I would have to add in the You Did It Wrong: From my 3.5 year old “No, Mommy! IIIIiiiiiii wanted to say mushrooms fiwst. You said it and I didn’t want you too.” Followed by tears and then, “No, Mommy, you pointed at it and I wanted to onwy point at it”

    • Chrissy says:

      ah! my 4 year old son does this too! will they ever grow out of it? also, I thought having boys I got to avoid this kind of drama.

    • Lacey S says:

      This makes me want to give you a gigantic hug ๐Ÿ™

    • Kisha says:

      My 3 year old is exactly the same way. UGH. Cannot wait til she outgrows this. Worst part is the unpredictability of it. It’s like a light switch goes off and the drama starts over some random thing.

  46. In our house, it being inhabited by four boy children under 7 and all, “look! A tractor!” sometimes works.

  47. Bethany says:

    Mine’s 16 months old and I generally avoid pointing out mushrooms because anything that’s potentially poisonous goes straight in her mouth. She loves to explore nature, she just thinks the best way to do it is to stick it in one of her orifices.

  48. ellie says:

    SO true. This is exactly what keeps me from homeschooling!

  49. Justine says:

    or getting hurt….ain’t that the truth. My kids can’t walk on a flat surface for more than a minute without getting hurt.

  50. lit'l energizer bunny says:

    What, yours doesn’t pick them all and point out every mushroom for three months? I started it that with acorns when I called them baby trees. It turns out there are a lot of acorns out there. He hands every single one to me along the way. I could plant a forest by this point.

  51. Amy says:

    My three-year old would be the “Why,” but not the innocent questionable “Why Momma?”, but the statement of “Why.” Her answer to everything is a statement of “Why.” And my one-year-old, who can now toddle and run, would toddle and run around them, before she decided that they should be picked and thrown (she now throws everything). Great post!

    • Rachel Blackett says:

      I’m realllllllllllllly not looking forward to the day when my kids learn “why” Will drive me batty!! She already tells me stop, go away and nooooooooooo which is bad enough lol!

  52. Keren says:

    What about the flip side? Before I was a parent, I thought I would always be so enraptured and tuned in to everything my kids told me. I would never be one of those parents who tuned their children out! No way Jose, not me. Well, there is much tuning out of my children. Sometimes they have to call me several times before I turn my attention to them. Sometimes they even catch me staring vacantly at them, and they accuse me of not even listening to a word they’ve said. And you know what? They’re right!

  53. Nicole says:

    You missed the part where they pretend like they have NO idea what you’re pointing at and instead focus on the leaves, or sticks or whatever is right next to the mushrooms. I swear my boys get an instant blind spot whenever I try to point something out to them….

    • Sonia says:

      Yes! “Mom, I can’t find ____!!” “It’s right there!! No. there!”
      Sigh, “You are standing on it!”
      “Where?”
      palmface

  54. Jen says:

    “Stop” definitely backfires, almost every time. I find if I just yell some completely random word or phrase, they will stop, even if just to figure out what I’m talking about.

    My four year old is usually very good about quietly listening to me explain something, which I spend more time doing since I’m obviously really getting through to him. Then, I finish talking and he just looks at me and says something like “Mommy, why does your hair look like that?”.

  55. L says:

    This brought back a memory for me. My husband and I were hiking with our kids (one bored whiner, one born 30 years old and thus rocking the first scenario 100% of the time). Under a rock we found the tiniest baby salamander ever. So small, it seemed impossible. Fascinating! Our whiner thought it was gross, was bored, and wanted to go home; our weirdly middle-aged 5 year old was appropriately awed and asked interesting questions. However, some other kids were nearby, so my husband walked over to show them this miracle of nature. To which they responded, “Cool!” Immediately followed by an enthusiastic, “Let’s kill it!” Sigh.

  56. British American says:

    Yes!!! We were out today and my kids thought they found a mushed up pumpkin against a tree, but I think it was actually a weird fungus. They were all like “Ewwww!” I told them not to touch it and they’re like “We touched it with our feet!” They were on the destruction line of thinking. ๐Ÿ™‚

  57. Natalie says:

    Spot on, only I don’t think you know the level that snobbery can reach because you only have boys…however with just having one boy, I can’t imagine your destruction!

  58. Elisabeth says:

    Yep. Nothing like having your child correct you at the zoo. “No mommy, that’s a SPIDER MONKEY!” … unless it’s watching them correct everyone else at the zoo … and having to apologize for his smart-assyness.

  59. Alicia says:

    I recently found out that the only reason my 7 year old hikes with me is because I pack really cool snacks, so non stop I hear “is it time for snack yet?” And then after our rest “how much longer do we have to walk?”

  60. Jo says:

    Amber, this post is gonna make you puke, I’m afraid! Love and mushrooms… http://www.flourchildren.blogspot.ie/2012/10/toady-stools-and-mushy-rooms.html

    It’s like the photo version of your dreams!

  61. Rachel says:

    My 4 year old like it take every chance to relate everything to dinosaurs.

    “Oh, look! Mushrooms!”
    “Stegosaurus eats mushrooms. And Stygimoloch too. And Carnotaurus eats meat and lives in the jungle….”

    Nature lesson over. My son has just become his alter ego Dino Dan.

  62. Sofya says:

    Maybe 50/50 here…

  63. Chrissy says:

    my two boys do all those too! but mine must be overachievers because there is also the complete repulsion reaction! Like when you take them to Disney world and instead of being happy and having fun they scream and cry and say they hate Buzz Lightyear (seriously, who hates Buzz Lightyear?). LOL So if it was my kids it might be “look mushrooms!” and they would scream “NO NO! I scared of mushrooms!” Although the other day they did pick a couple and then smash them all to hell. You never can tell which reaction its going to be!

  64. Bethany says:

    Mine can be more like “DON’T EAT the strange mushrooms!”

    Sometimes “freeze” works better than “stop” or you could try “hands in the air! Feet stuck in glue!” once in a while it helps to mix it up.

  65. Soniya says:

    My 4 year old just starts sniffing the air and then asks me what that smell is. I usually tell him that it’s fresh air and Mother Nature made it. He asks if we could go back inside because he doesn’t like it… Sigh

  66. Katie says:

    Nope. 100% correct. And I have 2 girls, they are equally as content arguing or destroying stuff. I swear you are my alter ego writing about my life without my knowledge. Love it! Keep it up!!

  67. Kristen says:

    You forgot tasting the mushrooms. or snails. or sand. or whatever.

  68. Yvette says:

    I discovered the stop non-working last minute reserved command in full mama bellow at the Grand Canyon (really) and it still didn’t work, so my visual was fleeting. Sigh!

  69. Amanda Reed says:

    Never yell stop or come back here. Simply lie and shout that you have cookies or candy. ๐Ÿ˜€ My mom used this to save my friend’s son from being squashed on a busy road and I used it on my oldest daughter (who was not quite 2) as she took off down the road and I was 8 months pregnant and couldn’t catch her. Yup. Cookies.

  70. mrsmouthy says:

    I wouldn’t worry about it too much…you don’t want your kids getting excited about mushrooms at such a tender age, anyway.

  71. Ashton says:

    I can’t even get mine outside…. “It’s toooo hoooooottt, it’s too cooollld, there’s too many bugs” or just the flat “it’s boooorrrring”. Completely ruined my fantasy. Its just not the same when your kids are looking at you funny because you and Daddy zoned out and are making tree limbs into rocket launchers, or wands.

  72. annie says:

    Oh, you could have done this same thing on decorating their bedrooms. First kid: paint each letter of their name and hang above their bed for decoration, paint cute shelves and put possible future heirloom gift trinkets and cute baby photos on them, etc. Second kid: paint plainer letters and never get around to actually hanging them. Third kid: by this time first kid has pulled down letters and broken them, pulled shelves off the wall and broken expensive knick-knacks and destroyed cute photos, as well as found one of the photo books and figures out how to tear the cover off, and second kid has pulled the decorative quilt off the wall so many time you’re afraid it’ll tear next time. So you hide all the baby books and hope they don’t get destroyed before everyone gets old enough to appreciate the work you put into them.

    • annie says:

      Fourth kid: I’ll let you know. He’s due to arrive any day now.
      I don’t get too attached to stuff anymore though lol.

      • S says:

        Good luck annie.

        Just so you know, I’m all admiration for parents who decorate a baby nursery.

        My husband didn’t really support my ambitions for a magazine-pretty nursery. So I never got my pretty room. And never will.

  73. Kristi says:

    Maybe if those mushrooms were on an iPad app that talked to them in a funny voice, my kids would probably give a crap.

  74. Linda says:

    The first time we took our daughter to the zoo, I had visions of how excited she’d be to see the animals. She was more interested in picking up pieces of trash from the sidewalk. Then we went to a playground across the street. The next time we took her, she whined the whole time because all she wanted to do was play at that playground. She’s 12 now, and still is only interested in socializing. Sigh

  75. Pam says:

    My favorite story to tell of my daughter is what, as a precocious three year old, she’d say if I tried to share an observation, with a view of educating her about something. Glowering upwards at me from under frowning eyebrows (known in the family as The Face) she’d declare, DEEPLY offended, “I know DAT…I know EVERYSING!!!” This attitude did not start to wear off until she graduated Grade 12.

  76. Sarah says:

    I just want to point out that this is tagged “homeschooling”, which is awesome.

  77. Jo says:

    That about sums it up… Take it from a mom whose kids are now 20(boy) and 17 (girl) that is how it was and still is…

  78. Christiana says:

    LOL as usual.
    I have two boys, one dreamy and introspective, the other? Well, his nickname is TANK for a reason.
    Well one day I saw my dreamer bent over, staring intently at the pavement in the backyard. This went on long enough to make me curious, so I stuck my head out the door to ask him what he was looking at. “ANTS,” he replied.
    Ok. sure.
    5 minutes later, there is hysterical screaming coming from outside. You know the kind of screaming I’m talking about ? The kind that ages you 10 years ? I abandon my pancakes to find out who is attempting to kill my firstborn. I run outside to find younger son (AKA tank) stomping on the pavement. Seeing where this is going, I tell him to stop.
    Too late, older child is inconsolable.
    HE. sniff. KILLED. MY. ANTS!!!!!!!!! Whaaaaahhhhhh!
    Aw, there, there. Let’s all go on inside and have blackened pancakes. Yum.

  79. Jackie says:

    Nope, pretty much the same over here! And I even have girls!

  80. Fabulous! That is so true!

  81. Lori says:

    Nothing makes a kid run faster than hearing their mother yell โ€œStop!โ€ – Perfectly stated.

  82. El says:

    Me: Look, mushrooms. (there are actually four kinds and one of them I know to be poisonous.
    4Yrs: Cool. Can I touch it?
    6Yrs: ewwwwwww. grooooooossss.
    Me: No. That one is poisonous. let’s just look.
    4Yrs: Can I touch it?
    Me: No.
    4Yrs: Can I touch it?
    Repeat until the 6 year old finally kicks the mushrooms to smithereens.
    6Yrs: Can we go back home now?

  83. Pingback: Let Me Direct You Elsewhere… | hisgracemygrowth

  84. Brooke says:

    My brother in law took us to the national park. Promised the kids fairies and mushroom elves etc. So we get there, beautiful waterfall, massive trees, massive cave… kids were supremely disappointed because: they didn’t get any fairies.

  85. Lana says:

    we go out onto a local wildlife reserve which happens to be a river and gorge. So far the exploring hasn’t yielded any destruction other than a few tossed pebbles. But my boys are only 11 months and two and a half. So I’m sure it will come eventually though maybe not because we never allow it at home so here’s hoping. They adore going there and spending the day in nature and eating a picnic lunch and playing on the larger boulders and building Myamyas (aboriginal for shelter)

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