It has been a long time since I had a special outing with just Crappy Boy alone.
As part of our outing, we go to a little cafe to have lunch together.
We are waiting for the waitress and Crappy Boy starts fiddling with the sugar packet box on the table. It has regular sugar, those pink and blue sugar substitutes and brown packets of turbinado sugar.
He asks to try the ‘turDinado’ sugar. He says ‘turd’ instead of turb’ so I chuckle a little when I answer. Because I am five.
He asks why it is funny and I explained that it was because he said ‘turd-inado’ and ‘turd’ is funny in the context of a name for sugar.
So I ask:
Well that explains it.
He doesn’t know what ‘turd’ means.
I have no idea how this escaped his vocabulary.
His eyes widen and he realizes why I was laughing. It was a poop joke!
Then he tries out using the word in a sentence.
But he says it a little too loud for a cafe.
I’m trying to shush him but I also can’t help but laugh because he is using it slightly wrong.
Me laughing makes him laugh.
His next sentence is even louder as he laughs:
The man at the table next to us looks uncomfortable. As one should look when a child announces “Help! I’m turding!”
Crappy Boy quiets down and I explain that the word isn’t really used that way. We have a lovely discussion about nouns and verbs over lunch. How ‘poop’ can be both but ‘turd’ is only a noun. We come up with several more words that can be both. He is fascinated by this! (Fish. Balloon. Grill. Here is a list.)
After our plates are taken away and we are waiting for the check, he suddenly remembers what started it all and says:
He tears open the packet and is thrilled to discover that “poop sugar” is brown.
I’m thrilled to discover that it turned out to be a lovely lunch.
On the car drive home, we talk about turbinado sugar and why it is brown and where sugar comes from. I tell him about the trip I took to the Dominican Republic years ago and seeing sugar cane fields. We talk about other plants that are sweet, like the stevia in our backyard that he always eats and on and on and on and….
The moral of this story?
You can learn a lot from a poop joke. Who knew?
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