Jedi Names

My kids like to get those Star Wars dictionary and encyclopedia books from the library. They study them. They pore over them. And they know most of the names of the characters. But not all of them. And unfortunately, neither do I.

Like most kids, they often like to suddenly “transform” into a character role. Not necessarily from Star Wars, sometimes it will be, “Mama, I’m a police officer!” or “Mama, I’m an elf!” or whatever.

But this day it is Star Wars. And they’ve picked two Jedi characters whose names they do not know. So they simply describe them.

We’re in the aisle of Home Depot and several people are walking by:


They then proceed to argue (loudly) about whether the penis head guy could defeat the horny guy.

“I’m the penis head guy and I will defeat you, horny guy!”

It was 100% beyond explanation to people passing by with confused and amused and shocked looks. So I just ignored them and wished that I was wearing my robe.



But just so you know, it was Ki-Adi-Mundi and Agen Kolar. See? Those descriptions totally fit. 

Endure any embarrassing in public moments lately? 

WAIT. I found out that my book, Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures, was nominated for Best Humor Book 2013 on Goodreads. This is amazing and shocking! You can vote now (book is in the humor category) and there is a chance it will break into the semi-finals round. Thanks so much for your votes and support, it means the world!

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130 Responses to Jedi Names

  1. SLTA says:

    Oh thank you. Now I feel like my conversations with my boys are totally normal!

  2. Sarah B says:

    Oh Oh I voted! I went there to vote for Momastery and clicked through all the categories and there you were! Hoping you are a big fat winner!

    Then you much accept the honors in your bathrobe.

  3. Lorna N says:

    I followed the link to the robe post, and really must add reason #8 (on why bathrobes are better than yoga pants):
    POCKETS! I have been choosing between yoga pants (comfort, ease) and jeans (pockets, outdoor winter warmth) when really all I need is a bathrobe! Thanks Amber!

    • amber says:

      This is so true! My robe does have pockets, nice deep ones too!

    • Sonia says:

      Pockets make everything better 🙂

      • amber says:

        Pockets are brilliant. You can put stuff in them!

        • me says:

          I can put my coffee travel mug in my robe pocket, extra insulation.

        • Krystie says:

          Pockets are also harder to lose than most anything else you keep stuff in.

          • Kirsti says:

            My pockets seem to get filled up wiht toy cars ans sticks.

          • Jen S. says:

            Despite the fact that it is entirely obvious, I’m finding that comment completely brilliant and will need to quote it. I have developed a very bad string of losing things with stuff in… Thank you.

          • Briony says:

            Yes, pockets are *harder* to loose than most bags, however not impossible – I have been know to forget that my mobile was in my robe pocket, then having suddenly realised someone was coming round and rapidly got into real clothes, have spent the rest of my saturday wondering where on earth my phone was

            I also recently found something I had lost all summer when it got cold enough to need my robe (actually a dressing gown this side of the Atlantic) It might even have been a funny story if I my non-functioning- mother’s brain could remembered what it was…

          • Naomi says:

            I used to have a leather jacket with the BEST pockets in it that I wore as my handbag summer and winter. It was fabulous. Until I realised that I’d put soooooo much stuff in all the pockets that I looked like a lumpy teddy bear (it was a brown jacket) winter and summer. lol.

        • Shelley West says:

          Pockets definitely need to be added to that list.

    • Shelley West says:

      I am currently wearing yoga pants (without pockets) and my robe (with pockets), which currently has used tissues, safety pins, random bits of paper, and plastic spider rings in them. Oh, also one of my husband’s ear plugs, and a twix wrapper. (-;

  4. Joanne says:

    Totally normal. I’ve had conversations like that with my kids while daughter is dressed like a princess.

  5. Jeanna says:

    Oh. My. Goodness. I laughed so hard, I actually snorted. Thanks for making my day.

  6. Stephanie says:

    My daughter was throwing a fit in the grocery store one day, yet, being the extrovert she is, still felt the need to say hello to the random stranger in the toiletries aisle, all while screaming. As I turned to apologize to the woman, I realized that she was in the process of putting a large box of condoms into her basket. I’m not sure if that’s why she was in the aisle or if my kid inspired her.

    • amber says:

      Ha ha, kids in markets are great birth control. I can just imagine her thought process…sees & hears screaming child, “Oh, that reminds me, I need condoms!” LOL

      • Cassandra says:

        my husband went to buy condoms once with our two year old son…someone walked by and said, “ah, teaching him early, huh”…my husband said he just smiled at the passerby but that he was really thinking, “more like extra-incentive”

  7. Tara P says:

    This is so hilarious! Sounds like something my boys would argue about in public. Also – to the robe post… I must agree that robes are AWESOME but my husband doesn’t agree. He calls it the “Termite”… because it kills wood. 😉

  8. Alison says:

    My husband is Military, we live on base, when my kids see someone in uniform while we’re walking home from school they will full tilt run at that person screaming DADDY. It’s actually kind of a beautiful embarrassment trifecta.

    • Kathryn says:

      My kids do the same thing! And I feel the same way.

    • Randi says:

      This happened to me just yesterday as my husband was wearing a uniform my 21 month old had never seen before. We were all over base and every single Marine she saw she yelled out “Daddy!”. It was so cute, but I was a little worried she may give me some type of reputation! LOL!

  9. Melissa says:

    I was so sure that penis-head guy would be a storm trooper.

  10. Andrea says:

    Um, yes, that is definitely a penis head guy and a horny guy. Not public embarrassment story, but the other week I picked up my son from daycare and they were playing bowling. I raise him bilingually, so on the way to the car I tell him: “Honey, those pins you played with in daycare today are called ‘kolky’ in Slovak. My son gave me confused look and said: “But mommy, I didn’t play with my penis in daycare today.” Me: “PINS! Pins, not penis.” My son: “Yeah…”

  11. Micki says:

    Cannot argue with the truth. And anyone who isn’t familiar with Star Wars wouldn’t get it anyway. So tighten that robe belt and carry on.

  12. Charm says:

    I don’t even own a robe yet. But I’m only a stepmomma so there’s still time.

    voted 🙂

  13. Christine says:

    Voted…good luck to you!

  14. Kami says:

    Grant usually yells things like, ” Where’s his butt, MAMA? Can I touch it?” (He will be holding a stuffed animal at the time.) Then my husband goes to find a bathroom. Grant yells, ” Where is Daddy going? To the Bathroom? To poop? LOL!!!!!!!! We all have those moments 🙂

  15. Sarah says:

    I have 3 boys, so you’re likely to find me having engaging conversations with them as they use terms like ‘penis head guy’. I’m so used to the young boy perception of the world at this point, that it doesn’t even surprise or phase me anymore lol I notice older people (both men and women) and other moms will chuckle and smile at the boys when they overhear their banter and frankly, theirs would be the only opinions I would even consider caring about anyway! I adore how easily I can relate to your life! You’ve taken all of our ’embarrassing’ or unspeakable mommy moments and basically told the world to deal with it for what it is! I love you!

  16. Debbie says:

    I bought your book the other night at PT job at Barnes & Noble. I love it!! I’m laughing out loud as I read it. I look forward to every chapter, and can’t wait to see what your future tales will be. My crappy daughter is now 17 and we are currently embarking on the next phase of crappy parenting. The one that involves her leaving her crappy Mom to go to college. Therefore, parenting from afar for me. I hope I can rise to the occasion. Thanks Amber for making my day a bit brighter with your crappy pictures and crappy stories. Sincerely, Deb

    • Sanj says:

      Re parenting during off-to-college-time: See film called “Enough Said.”

      Yay, Amber, for continuing to teach the world! Love your book and blog.

  17. Jolie says:

    WOW! First off, totally hilarious. Second, I see their name logic.
    First time I’ve ever snorted tea out my nose. Thanks! I love the fact that they were arguing, and beyond explanation. Maybe you should get a 2nd robe – then you could have a “home” one and an “errands” one – and keep the 2nd one for when these moments arise. Like Jedi mind tricks, your robe is. 🙂

  18. Mimi says:

    Remind’s me of my friends story. Her husband insisted on calling Sponge Bob “Sponge Bob Square Britches” So one day in the toy aisle at the store her daughter yelled out “Look mommy Sponge Bob B*tches!” Of course being small she repeated that several times.

  19. MamaBear says:

    My daughter calls Pitch Black from Rise of the Guardians “that Black guy” and will go off in public at random about how a-scared of that Black guy she is and how she wants someone to get that Black guy bc black guys are the meanest/scariest/kid-hatingist, etc. etc….

    Totally. Mortified.

    • Steph says:

      My son had pictures taken at preschool (he’s 3) and he came home and told me “I got my picture taken with a black guy!” And I was so confused! Did a black guy take his picture? Where did he even learn ‘black guy’? We don’t really talk about people that way, so I was really confused. I was even more confused and worried because he sounded a little upset about it. But after asking a few questions, I figured out he was saying he got his picture taken with a black EYE – he was mad his picture was going be with his black eye. Whew!

  20. CKelly says:

    Yes, truly a penis head and horny guy! Too funny! When my youngest son was about 5, he was with me in the dressing room while I was trying on bras. He had breastfed until he was 3, and he used to have favorite bras. So all of a sudden, he starts waxing poetic about his bra with the little flower, my pink bra that was silky, and the one that he could see my nipples through, in this little forlorn voice. I could hear the woman in the stall next to me burst out laughing.

  21. Rebeka says:

    I have endured the embarrassment in public by my children’s words. I do believe an argument between my boys was dickhead, crybaby princess, & middle finger being pointed (by the 3 year old).

  22. Cynthia says:

    While pushing her mini grocery cart through the produce section this past Sunday, my daughter suddenly stopped and pointing at a pile of sweet potatoes turned on their sides shouted, “Look Mommy, pee-pees,” I looked and indeed they kinda resembled penises. As I was chancing a glance to see who might be nearby/staring at us, she repeated herself several more times until I agreed with her that yes, there are a pile of pee-pees, now can we go and get some bread? I had a hard time making eye contact for the rest of that trip. Love your book and your blog, thanks for making this life stage funny!

  23. Gabrielle says:

    My 2yo son was trying to provoke his 4 yo sister by making faces. When he caught finally her eye, she haughtily told him, “Don’t you make that scrotum face at me!”
    Days later, my mom retold the story to my sister (discreetly), at a busy restaurant. At the other end of the table, my husband looked puzzled, and then– lightbulb!– declared WAY too loud, “Oh, the SCROTUM story!” We have gotten so much mileage from that day. 🙂

  24. jhana says:

    In the cereal aisle at supermarket, screams at top of lungs…

    “Mommy! I have a fungina!!!!!!!”

  25. Madeleine says:

    I love it! Not sure what kind of deflection you could have attempted…

  26. Char says:

    Haha! It makes me feel so much better to know I am not alone in my children’s shaming abilities.

    The other day we were at my mother in law’s house for dinner. She is lovely, but doesn’t tolerate any bad language at all. My middle child who is 3 was sitting at the table with MIL when she decided to sing a song. Casting her eye around the room for inspiration, she settled on a fork. And this is how it went: “Forking! Forking my head! Forking in my head!” In our accent, that does NOT sound like forking.

  27. Davierae says:

    Upon review of the characters’ photos, i must reply with a bawwwwhahahahahahahahaha!

  28. Stephanie says:

    My MIL and I were in Costco with my boys, pushing them in two carts. She had the 4yo, who announced, loudly, and just as two elderly ladies walked by: “Grandma, you don’t have a penis, you’re a girl. But I’m a boy, so I have a penis.”

    She was mortified. I ran away laughing.

  29. Mary says:

    Hilariously humiliating. I loved the robe post.

  30. christine says:

    I was at Home Depot with my thirty year old baby who likes to embarrass me still.She announced in a really BIG voice that the rubber mats would be great for around her stripper pole because it hurts to fall down when you”re naked.The scary part? Her real career is working with special needs children.

  31. Leah says:

    HA hahaha ha HAAAAA hahh!
    And, I voted! Yay!

  32. Jennifer says:

    Love it! So, I was in a Target restroom with my 3 yo son and 5 yo daughter. We were all together in the big stall at the end. Both kids went pee, then I had the urge … so I sit down as a lady is walking in (and goes right to the stall next to us of course). I’m going #1, but I did let go of an SBD toot and my son loudly accuses me, “Are you pooping?!” and I said “no, shhhh” to which my daughter says “Uh, yes you are, and it stinks!” and I’m hissing “ssssshhhh” and we just stayed in that stall until the person next to us left so I wouldn’t have to face them…

  33. Brooke says:

    Lol! I hate Star Wars thanks to my ex brain washing my oldest with it. Long story…But this reminds me of the time my then 2y old kept saying he wanted to watch “f*** yous” while standing in a Walmart aisle. Turns out he was saying Fox news, but I didn’t figure that out until a couple days later when we were watching the local Fox news station and he started getting all excited about watching
    “f*** yous”. I got many horrible death stares at Walmart that day. I wanted to melt into the ground.

  34. Dawn says:

    My son recently took an interest in acorns which he unfortunately chose to call “nuts.” I say unfortunate because when he was collecting them in the front yard a few weeks ago, he excitedly shouted out “MOMMY, LOOK AT MY NUTS!!” at top volume throughout the neighborhood. I was both cracking up and looking around mortified.

  35. gaga says:

    My daughter’s butt or vagina itches at bedtime some times and because I don’t want her hands down there (her hands would be inside her diaper since it’s hard to scratch through a diaper) and then going into her mouth (she sucks her thumb), I tell her to get me. Plus it’s usually a piece of toilet paper or something.

    In the middle of dinner, she announces that her vagina itches. I tell her she can scratch it herself over her pants and underwear, but she insists that I do it. And apparently I keep “missing”. So over and over, she exclaims “my vagina still itches” and I’m scratching her crotch for her.

  36. Mercedes says:

    I totally knew that was who they were meant by penis guy!

  37. Shalena says:

    Crowded restaurant, but unfortunately not a loud restaurant. I tell my husband I’m going to go to the toilet. My 2.5 yo potty training son calls out after me loud enough for absolutely everyone to hear “I go poopoo too!” Embarrassed, i try to walk away a little faster when I hear (louder) “I go poopoo with MOMMY! MOOOOOMMMMMYYYY. POOOOPOOOOO!”
    Death by total mortification.

  38. Amy says:

    Hahahaha! Frickin’ kids.

    One afternoon while picking up my son from preschool he ran to me and hugged me around the legs and being about crotch level height his face was kinda buried in that area. He pulls back and yells, “Ewwwww! You stink!!!” I’m mortified and also a glutton for punishment and ask him, “Stink like what?!” to which he kindly replied, “Pooop!” I was so embarrassed that this convo was in front of his teachers. After we walked out of his school and I was getting him buckled into his car seat, I asked him, “Does mummy really smell like poop?” He said, “Naaaah…I was just joking you.” Thanks a lot kid! Who doesn’t love a 3 year old comedian?

  39. Erin says:

    My four year old just watched Star Wars for the first time. He describes it as the movie about butts on faces. A character in bar scene has a butt shaped chin that he can not get over.

  40. Mom&Daughter says:

    My most mortifying moment – When my parents were visiting, I was feeding my 3 YO breakfast and she proceeded to narrate in great explicit detail how the new baby at her child care “drinks milk from mommies boobies”… I pretended a calm that I did not feel and explained how only babies with “no teeth” feed on mommy and as they grow up they do not need it any more… Feeling pretty good, I was about to distract her when she says – But mummy, I saw when I was a baby (this is the prelude to whenever she has to make up a story and hence whenever she uses this phrase we KNOW its going to be a fairy-tale) that daddy used to drink milk from your boobs too… Ugggh! Awkward, much.

    P.S: Voted too. Thanks for all the laughs over the years… And hey the bottle “Drink Water” is awesome too 🙂

  41. Liz says:

    Two days ago at walmart, my 3a year old and i were having a discussion about muscles and food and excercizes help make muscles strong, etc. Right as we are walking down the cat food isle full of old ladies he loudly exclaims “my penis has strong muscles!”

  42. Mollie says:

    When my son was almost two, he had trouble with digraphs (“ch”, “sh”, etc). One morning, we were leaving for work/daycare, when my son spotted a piece of black chalk on the ground. Excitedly, he began yelling, “Wook, Mommy! Wook! My black cock! It’s right there! You see it? See my black cock?!?” Mortified, I tried to distract him and get him into the car as quickly as possible. As I looked up, I saw one of my elderly neighbors laughing like crazy.

  43. Read your article, found it funny and amusing. As a result decided to pitch in my vote for your book. Good luck.

  44. Sarah says:

    At the zoo, we pass by a stinky smell. I teasingly say to my 3yo, “Pee-U, Hank! Did you toot?” To which he replies loudly, “No! It was Daddy! Daddy has stinky farts!”

  45. Janeene says:

    You should invest in a ginormous hoodie. They are like robes for outings! If you play it right they are roomy, have a giant hood for either Jedi mode or hiding, and POCKETS! Besides, a hoodie can really tie a yoga pants and ponytail outfit together nicely.

    • amber says:

      This is true. I need another hoodie, I haven’t had one in years. It really is what my daily outfit needs. For fancy days.

  46. Lisa says:

    Love this! Thank you so much for the smile today (and for the photo explanations). I so needed it. Some day I’ll have to tell you my Lowes story that started with a toddler in the cart kicking at his preschool brother pushing the cart and ended in stitches.

  47. Julie says:

    As we were walking to our car outside of school the other day, I asked my almost-5-year-old son how his day was. His loud and proud response (as another parent was walking by), “I farted ALL day, Mommy. I just farted a lot. Excuse me, I just farted again. Oh – and again.” Glad he’s being productive at school.

  48. Brit says:

    Wow, thank you so much! I needed this laugh today! 🙂

  49. Nicole says:

    Now my 3 year old thinks I was laughing uproariously because of the Smokey Bear ad on the sidebar. “Yeah, Mom, it IS funny when a bear wears a hat!”

  50. Melissa says:

    This just killed me!

  51. Andrew says:

    Hi Amber,

    My wife and I love all your stories and pictures!
    A quick note: in the third sentence I think you mean “pore” not “pour,” unless there’s some serious drool involved.

  52. Ginger says:

    Two posts in one week? I feel spoiled 😀

  53. Heidi says:

    You are preparing me for the future. Thank you.

  54. Say says:

    Now I don’t feel so aghast that my daughter named her Tauntaun sleeping bag Horny!

  55. Jessie says:

    When my daughter was 4 or 5, and sounding out every word she saw no matter where we were, she decided to start reading the items sitting in the grocery cart with her. I left her in the cart to “read” and wondered several feet away to look at something, when I hear my daughters booming voice yell to me, “Hey Mom! What does FEM-I-NINE DOOCH-IE spell?

  56. tara says:

    Haha they were TOTALLY accurate! I would never have guessed those either, but they were dead on.

  57. Laura says:

    Ur awesome!

  58. jen says:

    VERY apt descriptions….and thank you! I just spewed water all over my laptop while laughing!! Made my day!!

  59. Mary Ann says:

    Congratulations on the GoodReads nomination – that’s awesome. You totally deserve to win… I just voted, rated, and Tweeted. Can we vote every day???

  60. Jessica O says:

    When my oldest was three we were in the big box store discussing what to get his dad for his birthday. He started talking about how we should get his dad some strippers for his birthday. But daddy really likes strippers so we should get him two. It took me a minute to realize that he calls the vegetarian breakfast strips “strippers” but other people don’t realize that. lol We got some looks, especially when I agreed that we should get daddy some strippers.

  61. Lisa S. says:

    On a family holiday, with the inlaws, we stopped at an interpretive centre. There was a section where people could leave sticky notes. My 6 y.o. artist couldn’t resist, she’s also learning to read. Prior to our visit someone had left a note that stated, “Sex on the beach was my favourite part of our visit. My daughter left multiple notes but, the one my mother-in-law confiscated was one that read, “SEX, I like when.” and had a picture of a man and a woman.

  62. Michael L. says:

    It sounds to me like they were Darth Vader and Darth Maul

  63. adam says:

    When drying off my kids after bath I often wrap them tightly in their towels and the use them to lift them up and spin them around. We call it a “flying burrito” and they always ask me to do it. So, the other night while leaving the gym my daughter needed some extra encouragement to hurry up a little so I told her I’d give her a flying burrito if she quickly got her shoes on, which she did. I wrapped her up and spun her around quicker and higher than normal as there’s a lot more room at the gym than in our bathroom. She was laughing and squeeling and then when I unwrapped her she loudly exclaimed, “your flying burrito tickled my vagina!” I said, “you mean your tummy right?” “No, my vagina tickled!” Needless to say I got quite a few looks. Lesson learned — no more flying burritos in public.

    • Amy says:

      OH MY. Yes, this is both the good and bad of teaching “correct names”. I will pick my 3yo up and walk with her on my hip when we are in a hurry (like everyone else that has ever had kids does). Sometimes it is just the wrong position and she will say (loudly) “You are hurting my vagina”. The looks from others around you range from “amusement” to “considering calling DFACS”. Of course we quickly change how I holding her to remedy the situation. Kids are awesome.

  64. Deb says:

    My son (very loudly and echo-y in a public restroom): “Mama, do you have a penis?”

  65. Erin K says:

    in the middle of prayer circle at karate today my toddler who was on my lap while we waited for his older brother shouted, “I farted right on you again! I just keep farting!!!”

    You know, not when it was all loud and they were saying “Hi YA” or anything, nope, during prayer.

    so yeah, I understand.

  66. Allison says:

    hahah! Best one came from my daughter (she is now a mom of 2, bwhahaha) In the grocery store, we pass a very large woman leaning way over into a frozen food bin; her cart is piled high. My age 3 daughter says, with a lovely (read loud and high pitched) 3 y/o girl voice: “WOW mom, she’s REALLY hungry!”

    This is same girl who used to ask strange men if they were married and if not would they like to date her mom….

  67. Betsy says:

    I’m very pleased that my 8 year old has learned that the way to properly torture her 13 year old brother in front of his friends is to cheerfully and matter of factly sing, “vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina” until he turns purple with embarrassment. Yay.

  68. Leslie says:

    Just this summer, we were at the Chicago airport when I went to the bathroom with my 3 yr old son and 6 yr old daughter. My 6 yr old went into a stall herself and I took my 3 yr old into another stall. I started peeing and let out a small fart. My son says loud enough, “you farted!”. To which I replied, “no, you did!”. And then he started giggling and kept repeating in a sing song voice, “you farted!”. I was so embarrassed when the woman next to me started giggling!! Ahhhh, kids!!

  69. Lana says:

    penis head guy totally works!! and horny guy is just obvious.

    My boys like to do the same things.. they’re just.. well.. boys.

  70. Katelyn says:

    thanks, I needed that laugh!

  71. Rachel says:

    my son is into star wars too, and like yours doesn’t know all the names. there is the trash guy (r2d2) the walking guy (c3po) and the black guy (darth vader) I don’t care much for when he gets into a mood to “kill the black guy like this! shing! there, the black guy is dead!” sigh.

  72. Sarah Almond says:

    Oh my goodness! That is so funny! Your kids crack me up!

  73. Abby says:

    Not my own embarrassment, but as I was leaving for work this morning I was greeted by my landlady and her 3 year old daughter. The little one was quick to announce that it’s her mom’s birthday today… followed by, “Guess what else, Abby! Mommy peed in a cup!” Her mom’s face was priceless. 🙂

  74. Danielle says:

    Walking through the grocery story with my son. (3years old)
    He see’s something that sparks his interests and says in a not so quiet voice ‘hey mom, look a c*ck’…..
    Holy cow, i know he doesnt know that word, and im looking around to see if i can figure out what he’s trying to say.
    Oh, there’s a security guard — so i say ‘oh i see, you mean a cop?’
    …. He yells ‘NO MOM a C*CK’….. At the same time a teenage boy is walking by us. He bursts out laughing, then i burst out laughing.
    (Not my proudest moment but it was funny)
    i keep walking in total confusion..
    I ask one more time, but a whisper this time. ‘What do you see?’
    He points again and then i see it!!!!!
    A big Giant CLOCK, on the wall..
    The rest of the day we practice the ‘C.L’ – sound

  75. Amy says:

    Not the exact same thing but we were in the grocery store on Halloween and a woman came in dressed in her cultural dress that included a beautiful head covering, etc. My darling daughter yelled at the top of her lungs “Look she’s dressed up for Halloween.” Awesome. I guess we need to get out more ;).

  76. Theresa says:

    Thanks for the laugh! I just got home from my shift at the Home Depot and hadn’t heard anything NEAR this hilarious in our aisles! Also, thanks for accurately depicting our orange carts and keeping me and my co-workers employed. 🙂

  77. Teresa says:

    I think maybe we must not talk about body parts enough or something. Im with my 10, 7, 6 and 3 yr old grandkids alot (shopping and at home) and the words penis, vagina, etc have never come up. NOW poopoo, poop and butt are constants! Kids are cute n funny creatures!

  78. Noelle says:

    I work at Home Depot. This would have totally made my day! If you’re ever in southern Indiana, please bring the boys to my HD so my geeky/nerdy coworkers and I can get a good laugh. We’d totally know who they’re talking about. 😀

  79. Tina says:

    ohmahgawd this is amazing lmaoooooooooooo

  80. Jen says:

    Last week I got the, “Mom, why don’t you have a penis?” question in a crowded public bathroom from my loud and curious three year old. Cue muffled laughter from the surrounding stalls. Pretty standard fair but still amusing! Of course, it’s more amusing when it’s someone else’s kids asking them….

  81. HS says:

    This reminds me of the time my son (3 or 4 at the time) was obsessed with these stick figure videos on Youtube. The stick figure just so happened to be drawn with a black line color. Well, my son knew the color “black” and the gender “man” but he didn’t know “stick figure”. So every time he talked about the videos (loudly and in public obvs) he would say, Can I watch the video with the black man? Or, Did you see what that black man did in the video? I always wondered what people around us thought lol!

  82. Randi says:

    Walking through the military exchange one day, I had my 3 year old in the cart and I was looking at some clothes. My son started to get very excited and then yelled out “LOOK MOM! IT’S A PIRATE!!!!” And there walking towards us was an older man with an eye patch. I’m sure I turned several shades of red. He looked right at my son and said “Arggh!” What a good sport and made my son’s day.

  83. Charlene says:

    This so made me laugh! Sounds like my kids too! My 3 year old daughter was singing “peanut, peanut into my mouth you go” as she was eating and my 6 year old son asked…”did she just say penis?” Bewtween fits of giggles he sang out “penis penis, into the mouth you go”. Some stuff I let slide but that one had to tell him was not appropriate.

  84. Michelle says:

    Loved the story and I voted for your book. Good luck! You should definitely be the winner!

  85. Kelyn Nightengale says:

    This weekend my daughter dropped a spiky looking fake plant right on her lap. While wearing short pj shorts. She proceeded, for the next two hours, including through her Great Grandmother’s pre-meal prayer to announce loudly “MY CROTCH HURTS!”. Thanks for your tact little bear.

  86. Melanie says:

    I signed up for GoodReads just so I could vote for you! 😀

  87. Pingback: Weekly Wrap-Up: The I Totally Forgot To Do A Wrap-Up Last Week Edition | The Sadder But Wiser Girl

  88. Heather says:

    My Mum took our family picture last year in our front yard – it was a lovely fall day, but suddenly the wind came up and blew dirt from the field across the street into the air – it felt terrible. So we were all dressed in our Sunday best felling gritty! But everyone smiled – with dirt in their teeth. Do you think people noticed?

  89. Sevender says:

    I’ll admit that if I win, the prize is gonna buy my wedding invitations! I don’t have to do Christmas cards until next year when my man and I are officially a family 🙂

    Thanks for all the chances!

  90. Karen says:

    That’s priceless. Today my daughter shouted “Ouch! A turtle’s hiding in my butt!” while we were in the grocery store.

  91. Jenn says:

    I tried to find your robe post to link to a Facebook comment I was making on my wall and it is not there anymore :'(