It’s Always The Bacon

It is breakfast. We are having bacon and eggs. 

Crappy Boy picks up his fork, looks down at his plate and asks:


He knows this already.

I wonder where this is heading.


Oh. So that is where this is heading.

I could explain that most eggs in grocery stores are unfertilized.

But then I’ll have to talk about fertilization. And roosters. This path only leads to roosters and chickens having sex.

It is way too early for poultry sex. I haven’t even had my coffee.

Too late. He already made the jump.  


Back History: My parents had a little hobby farm when I was young (now it would be called “sustainable homesteading” but they did it before it was a cool thing with a name) where they raised a steer named Happy among a few other animals over the years. Then we ate him. Or, I should say they ate him. I became a vegetarian the moment “Happy” meatballs showed up in spaghetti one night. I was twelve. 

Five years later I ate some bacon and that was the end of it all. Bacon as a gateway meat is common. They call bacon the “vegetarian’s kryptonite” even.

So now you know where I’m coming from. I don’t care if my kids become vegetarians or wrestlers or whatever. They will make their own choices. 

I remind him that some of his friends are vegan. That people make these choices for themselves. 


He listens and nods. But as I’m talking, I notice him absentmindedly pick up a strip of bacon. Just moments after he proclaimed that he will not eat animals.  

So I quickly say: 


But he just takes a bite and shrugs. 

And then says:


Yep. It’s always the bacon! 

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198 Responses to It’s Always The Bacon

  1. Bridget Stevens says:

    oh this is soooo true. so many many people I know will say, I was a vegetarian….but bacon, oh bacon.

    • Carol Gardens says:

      So funny! I wish I had written down all the funny things my kids said…I do remember fishing with my little boy, who informed me that he was trying to catch ‘fish sticks’….Now, I use bacon as an alarm clock, when one son is home from college. I keep it cooked and frozen…microwave a few strips…and tell his sister to open his bedroom door….it takes less than 60 seconds for him to appear in the kitchen!!!and…he has a smile on his face!

  2. Alyssa says:

    I was a vegetarian for 13 years, and then bacon became my gateway meat too. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. Rachael says:

    I must be an odd vegetarian. I DON’T like bacon. My vegetarian story is very similar to yours except we had a pig named “Frank” then one morning we had Frank bacon for breakfast. My gateway meat would actually be chicken. It’s the only meat I like.

    • kate says:

      ha! i dont like bacon either, never have. i am mostly vegetarian because i really just do not like meat. ick. lol

    • Adria says:

      I do NOT like bacon. Blah! I am not a vegetarian but I steer (no pun intended!) clear of pork. Just can’t handle it.

    • Molly L says:

      you’re not alone! I’m a veggie but even if I did eat meat I wouldn’t touch pork with a ten foot pole.

      • Lacey Sutton says:

        I’m not a vegetarian, but bacon is not my first choice. I much prefer sausage (yes, I do know where it comes from/what it is made of) and I will roll over and beg for lamb or ham.

    • Lydia says:

      I’m have been vegetarian for 4 years and have never been into bacon much either!
      Isn’t it funny that most kids realize it’s weird and sad to eat animals, but later on you just accept it?

      • Fred says:

        Weird and sad to eat animals? Someone failed anthropology class. We wouldn’t have evolved our large brains if we didn’t eat animals.

  4. I keep kosher(ish), but I make an exception for some non-kosher foods. Bacon is not one of them, but I know MANY Jews who treat bacon as coming from The Bacon Animal, rather than from a pig, even though they’d never eat a pork chop of a crab cake (which is my kosher kryptonite). It is that delicious. I do miss it. I figure if I’m going to cheat, I only get to name one animal an exception.

    • Joanna says:

      totally – for many bacon doesn’t count. I am Jewish, and we didn’t keep kosher growing up. But, my mom still didn’t want any pork or shellfish in the house. I would eat bacon at every opportunity – friends houses, out to breakfast – it tasted so good, and yet was so wrong LOL. I still don’t have a taste for pork or shellfish, but have never stopped loving bacon!

      • Manda Roo says:

        These two comments explain something for me! I’m marrying a Jewish man, I made pork chops once and his mother gave me a whole lecture. I hadn’t even thought of it, since my fiancee isn’t keeping kosher. But after that 45minute guilt trip we went to their house for brunch one day where they were all chowin down on bacon and eggs- even his mother. I didn’t ask, but I’ve always wondered why cheat for bacon- but not pork chops? LOL

    • Lacey Sutton says:

      This is the same line of reasoning that caused Buddists to re-label rabbits as birds in Japan ๐Ÿ˜›

    • Blaire says:

      The Bacon Animal – perfect way to put it. That is my grandma! And most of my mom’s side, come to think of it ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Bacon…is…the…best! Bacon around anything makes it better. Must try my “armadillo eggs” (bacon wrapped jalapenos filled with cream cheese). To die for!

    • Rebecca Fulcher says:

      We have made Armadillo eggs, but they are chicken stuffed with jalapenos and pepper jack cheese, then wrapped in bacon!

    • nancy says:

      I make those too. They are also pretty amazing with sweet mini bell peppers!

    • ariel says:

      omg i just wrote a comment on how my husband makes those. he halfs the jalapeno and stuffs it with italian sausage and cream cheese, wraps with bacon and bakes. awesome!

    • amber says:


    • Kate says:

      My daughter negotiated “Armadillo eggs” as her present from her Uncle at her graduation party. Those things are lethal to a weak will! Yum!

    • Leslie says:

      Peppadews are delicious that way as well, but since they’re so small I dice up the bacon and mix it in with the cream cheese. Can’t be beat!

  6. Bella Rose says:

    Bacon is so delicious and the reason why I refuse to give up pork.

  7. Ancy says:

    My husband is from India and never had bacon before he met me. When I went to India for New Years right after we were married (he was still in India waiting for his green card paperwork to come through), we spent the weekend at a really nice hotel and they had bacon. He tried it and he was hooked. It was the first thing he asked for when he got off the plane at JFK Airport in New York. Still loves it.. as does my 5 y.o. son…

  8. Stephanie says:

    Bacon. The candy of meats.

  9. Misty Pratt says:

    I once decided to become a vegetarian. This was during my crazy university days, when I would stay up all night partying, and then meet up with friends at a 24hr diner. After one particular night of “one too many,” I met my friends at the diner and proceeded to chow down on a plateful of bacon and eggs. One of my friends casually asked “weren’t you cutting out meat?” I spit out my bacon and exclaimed “oh my god, I totally forgot!!” So much for my vegetarianism…

    • Karen (Scotland) says:

      I did exactly the same! After a week in Spain where it’s very in-your-face that the meat you are eating is the dead animal hanging in the window/ from the wall, I declared myself vegetarian.
      It lasted a week until I babysat and the mother made me a bacon sandwich which I started to eat, got half way through and then remembered…

  10. I only have one declared vegetarian so far (out of 6). And even he won’t touch my kale.

  11. Lisa MH says:

    Unfortunately, I had the fertilization discussion with my daughter (almost 6). Which eventually led to menstruation and menopause. Thankfully I have mad skillz and kept out the whole sex bit. ๐Ÿ˜€

    • Jennifer J says:

      You should give us lessons!! Most of my six kids learned about sex before kindergarten!!

  12. Mmm. Bacon!

    Bacon is the reason I didn’t become a vegetarian. I really wanted to stop eating animals back in high school for the animals’ sake, but you just can’t have a bacon cheese veggie burger…

  13. Jennifer says:

    Hahaha this is brilliant and I’ll tell you why. I don’t eat meat and haven’t for about seven years now. Whenever someone asks me if I miss meat, my response is always, “I do miss pork.” Obviously bacon is pork, so there you go! ๐Ÿ™‚

  14. Jim W. says:

    Yeah. Let’s not go crazy here. Eggs are one thing, bacon is another thing entirely. I don’t just mean that because it’s literally true either. Although it is.

  15. Fenny says:

    Bacon is heaven made edible! Eggs are fowl and disgusting and shouldn’t be allowed near bacon.

    • Amber Kyles says:

      ha, eggs are ‘fowl’… nice. Was that intentional? Or an accidental, yet superb, use of a heterograph?

  16. Dana says:

    It really is always the bacon. I had a sister who became a vegetarian after a preschool trip to a turkey farm – right before Thanksgiving. After more than 20 years meat free, she said she just “woke up one day and wanted bacon.” Thus endeth the veggie life for her.

  17. Amy says:

    As long as you crumble it, it’s not a meat. It’s a condiment.

    That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

  18. HM says:

    It’s funny this response came from looking at cooked eggs on a plate whereas seeing a live turkey had the response, “Can’t wait to eat you.” ๐Ÿ™‚

  19. Betty says:

    I love it! Of course our children should make their own choices. I went vegetarian for 3 months (!) when my son refused to eat meat. I thought he would never eat meat again so I started to “prepare”. Then he decided he wanted meat and that was the end of my vegetarianism. lol

    • MamaBean says:

      This is a genius tactic! Hopefully this will work when my daughter wants a nose ring or tattoo…if mom gets a matching one, it’s not that cool, right ?

  20. Jen says:

    “I don’t care if my kids become vegetarians or wrestlers or whatever.” This, for whatever reason, made me crack up – vegeterians or wrestlers, ha!

  21. Jen says:

    Heh I’m glad this vegetarian weakness for bacon is a common phenomenon. I’m a vegetarian who misses bacon very, very badly…

  22. Jen says:

    Oh cool, 2 Jens. 0_0

  23. Maru says:

    ๐Ÿ™‚ thank you so much for sharing ๐Ÿ™‚

  24. Delora says:

    Around age 8 or 9, my son wanted to become a vegetarian that still ate bacon and sausage. Basically, he was going through a picky phase and didn’t want to eat pork chops or chicken and was looking for an out. I reminded him that vegetarians need to eat a lot of, duh, vegetables, and then he asked to become a fruititarian. Umm.. nice try kid.

    • Ancy says:

      Fruititarian!! I love it…

      What do you call someone who only eats meat and eggs? Carnivore? If my daughter, 2.5 yo, got her wish, that’s what she would everyday, 3 X a day (and BM, too, of course).

    • amber says:

      Fruititarian!! I’m pretty sure my kids would become candytarians if they had that choice.

      • Heather says:

        We call my 8 y.o. son a “carbivore” . He survives on cereal, toast, and pasta. Much to my chagrin. I sneak “invisible veggies” (pureed) into everything I can. ๐Ÿ™‚

  25. Lori Langone says:

    My 14-month old son eats very nearly everything that I offer to him (that he’s able to chew and swallow anyway), but he hasn’t been fond of eggs so far. I just discovered this week that if I scramble an egg in lots of butter and add in chunks of cream cheese, he likes it! He hasn’t tasted bacon yet …

    • Meg says:

      Lori, my daughter (born 5/3/2011) doesn’t like eggs either!! But she LOVES bacon, it has to be crispy though ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Elisa says:

      Try hardboiled eggs, too. That’s the only way my 21 month old will eat eggs. For some reason he calls them “cake” and I’m not going to correct him ๐Ÿ™‚

  26. Lisa says:

    Chicken is my kryptonite… and moist brisket. I blame my friend for introducing that one to me. All that said… I just naturally love veggies over meat. I -could- choose to be a vegetarian but NAH! Meat good! =P

    btw- Amber, I love your blog!

  27. Lisa Lutes says:

    I’ve always said that bacon is nature’s candy

  28. sarah s. says:

    i’m not a vegetarian, but i don’t really like pork because it’s sometimes rubbery and weird consistency also because they cure it with so much salt its so salty a lot of the time. I like bacon on a very rare occasion, but it’s rare because it’s so greasy and some people put too much salt on it.

  29. Meg says:

    You could’ve TOTALLY blew his mind and related the unfertilized chicken egg to our menstrual cycles. Same thing right??? An unfertilized egg is released! Humans choose not to eat our own periods.

    Yes, I eat both eggs and bacon. Just trying to avoid a sex-talk or vegetarian-talk before coffee. Menstration discussion, sure why the hell not!! ๐Ÿ˜›

  30. Julia Adams says:

    I was a pork-only-vegetarian at 11 when my parents served “Frisky” steaks for dinner. I fed my cow from a giant baby bottle of formula and I didn’t know why they wanted him so fat. Then I gave up pork when they served my pig “Cracker” for Christmas dinner. But then one day my mom made some un-named bacon and I fell off the wagon.

  31. christina says:

    HAHAHAHAH Love it!!

  32. joanne says:

    I’m Italian. pork is the source of all happiness. I’m sure those of Spanish descent would agree.

    That being said, we should bomb the Middle East with bacon. maybe the Muslims and the Jews would find happiness if they ate it and stop trying to kill each other.

    Bacon. May the force be with you.

  33. Ruth says:

    My two year old asked me what mince was while making dinner… So I said “Cow”. “Oooo yuck! Cows are gisgusting! They poop!”. I told her the great benefits of cows… milk, yoghurt, cheese, butter… all of which she is a fan. “Oh..I like Cows!” she pipes up…”BUT we DON’T eat their bottoms! That’s gisgusting!”
    Its a hard world for the up and comings to understand the relationship between animals and food ๐Ÿ™‚
    Thank you so much for putting a much needed smile on my face this morning… you are brilliant! (oh and your contributors :))

  34. Sandra says:

    One of my daughters became a vegetarian at age three, after her older sisters told her there was blood in the hamburger. She would still eat ham, though. We went to a luau, and they walked the pig around with the apple in it’s mouth and the girls informed her that was where ham came from…..She isn’t a bacon eater, either.

  35. ariel says:

    mmm bacon. my husband takes fresh jalapenos, cuts them in half, takes the seeds out, stuffs it with raw italian sausage and cream cheese and wraps it with bacon. then he bakes it. they’re AWESOME and i bet super healthy ๐Ÿ˜‰

  36. Kristin says:

    I was a “semi vegetarian” from about 6th grade til I was 22, and I got my wisdom teeth out and really wanted some pepperoni. After the pepperoni bacon followed shortly after. My husband jokes that taking out the wisdom teeth made me smarter and start eating the good stuff.

  37. Kris says:

    I never understood the bacon craze, it seems like everyone is wrapping everything in bacon these days. fish, chocolate, ice cream, more bacon, etc!
    While i think some of the ideas are entertaining, I’ve never been tempted from my vegan ways by it.

  38. Sara says:

    We have chickens and whenever the subject of baby chicks comes up my girls (8 & 5) proudly tell people we “need a rooster to pee on the eggs to make baby chickens and we don’t have a rooster” . Seems to end the discussion every time ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Lacy says:

      A rooster to pee on the eggs! So funny!

    • Jennifer J says:

      Wow! That sounds almost exactly like the first explanation of people sex that I ever heard. And the person explaining it to me was 14.

  39. Krista says:

    I didn’t know it was a gateway meat, but other ex vegetarians have said the exact same thing. Direct quote from my cousin when I asked why she decided to quit “I tasted bacon and I never wanted to not have that in my life again” hahahaha! I’ve been vegetarian for 3 years now. I’ll remember to steer clear of bacon in the future. The thought of it still makes me sick, but it’s only been 3 years! Maybe I’ll be changing my tune in 2 years ๐Ÿ˜€

  40. Caitlin says:

    Something is wrong with my hubby. He hates bacon, most pork products in general, really. It’s so sad. LOL

  41. Adrianna says:

    LMAO that is great. We are a bacon household my hubby loves it way to much to ever not eat it.

  42. magz says:

    my 4 yr old is vegetarian except for bacon lol he eats all fruits and veggies all of them with no problems, but he hates meat, all meat except bacon lol

  43. Natassia says:

    After becoming a vegetarian I have to say bacon is what I miss the most. Especially since my lil sister is obsessed with bacon, it’s her nickname who I see her talk about it on fb all the time. I heard that fakin bacon is good tho.

    • amber says:

      Yes, that fake bacon IS good! We go to a vegan restaurant nearby and I get a vegan bacon avocado wrap and I can’t tell the difference. Fake meat technology has improved dramatically since I was a vegetarian!

  44. Franca says:

    I’m not a bacon person and have never been. But when i was a kid, I stopped eating eggs for the same reason your son did. The thought that they were baby chickens made me sick to my stomach. Thankfully, the nausea over the smell didn’t last too long cause now I loooooove eggs! ๐Ÿ™‚

  45. jeanie says:

    Anchovies were my “non-meat” when I was vegetarian – I mean, I have never seen one alive (and won’t for as long as I keep my eyes closed in that direction)

  46. Manon and Alethea says:

    Ooooooooh Bacon…we were vegetarians for 17 years before we moved to South Africa, where the meat in general is just so yummy! But bacon…oh how I love it. Whenever I take my daughter out to eat somewhere, she always orders the same. Bread with only bacon on it or just some strips of bacon (usually with tomato on the side, but that’s another story) Her birthday lunch is also bacon bread with bacon on the side. She doesn’t like egg, so she never eats that anyway.

    • LB says:

      My dad always made us the best bacon sandwiches:
      Butter, some blackberry or raspberry jam, and some good crispy bacon. It is delicious!
      Sweet and salty.

      • Janelle says:

        Omg. That sounds so good. But I doubt I could ever make it for myself; I’d have to have someone hand it to me and say, “Try this.”

  47. Angela Gardner says:

    Yes, that is exactly why I can’t be a vegetarian. BACON!!!

  48. Amber says:

    I have been a vegetarian/pescetarian for 16 years and I thank heaven constantly for Morningstar bacon. That stuff made life beautiful again.

  49. Michelle says:

    Do the contestants on Survivor still get to bring a luxury item? Mine would be bacon. It’s my everything! Gateway meat! Hilarious!

  50. Melissa says:

    We had the “where do eggs come from” discussion and when TC was 4. When he found out that chickens laid eggs that the farmer took before they could grow up to be chickens, TC wanted to go to a farm and help the farmer steal the chicken babies so we could eat more of them. I wonder about him sometimes…

  51. Carol says:

    Ok… I’m a (shamefacedly self confessed) BacoLactoVegan raising a voracious meat and fish eater. She attends a vegetarian preschool, and demands meat at home. I was cooking bacon (by the packet in the oven…) yesterday afternoon for mini quiches while my dd napped, and what a mistake. The smell wafted up to her room and awakened her early, which led to enthusiastic requests for said bacon. Thankfully, she eats tons of raw & cooked veggies and most fruits as well. But bacon…..mmmmm….

  52. Becky says:

    OMG, we love bacon so much that I took my boyfriend to Baconfest ( as a surprise, and when we got out of the car he joked that he “had something in his eye” — I still tell people he cried. LOL That was awesome — bacon-wrapped dates stuffed with goat cheese… {swoon}

  53. Karen says:

    LOVE the Blog. I’ve been addicted since my first read/look. I’ve been a happy total vegetarian for 30 years after growing up a carnivore. My 3 boys, now ages 20, 17 and 15 have never eaten or even tasted meat. They are not even curious. They find the whole idea disgusting, especially pork, which is biblically (and scientifically!) not good for you. TVP baco-chips rarely appear on our table, but I do have several friends who enjoy “Stripples” a veggie bacon substitute made by Morningstar. BTW, becoming a vegetarian OR a wrestler doesn’t have to be a either/or choice. Some of the worlds best athletes/body builders are totally vegan. Being on a vegan diet does not make men “weak and girly.” . . . not that I’d be too happy to have my boys become wrestlers, though. Just as a last thought…my husband grew up Jewish and his mother would make pork chops, but would NEVER make bacon (just the opposite of the other commenters), so he would sneak to friends’ houses only to be greeted with, “he’s here, hide the bacon” as he had been known to wipe out their entire supply in a single sitting.

    • Janelle says:

      Uhm… “Pork is (scientifically!) not good for you”?
      Uhm. I disagree.
      Seriously. It’s the other white meat.
      One could argue that any meat not cooked properly is bad for you… But I disagree with your statement.

      • Kristin says:

        Gotta defend Karen here…Pork is considered a red meat by the scientific community. “The other white meat” is simply an advertising campaign created by the US Pork Board.

        Want science? Go to

        Type in meat + colon cancer, rectal cancer, breast cancer, prostate cancer, cardiovascular disease, processed meat (bacon – *gasp*!) and sodium nitrate, cancer. Read away.

        Here are a few to start with:

        1. Michaud DS, Holick CN, Giovannucci E, and Stampfer MJ. Meat intake and bladder cancer risk in 2 prospective cohort studies. Am J Clin Nutr. 2006;84:1177-83.

        2. Jakszyn P and Gonzalez CA. Nitrosamine and related food intake and gastric and oesophageal cancer risk: a systematic review of the epidemiological evidence. World J Gastroenterol. 2006;12:4296-303.

        3. Gallicchio L, McSorley MA, Newschaffer CJ, et al. Flame-broiled food, NAT2 acetylator phenotype, and breast cancer risk among women with benign breast disease. Breast Cancer Res Treat. 2006;99(2):229-33.

        4. Sinha R. An epidemiologic approach to studying heterocyclic amines. Mutat Res. 2002;506-507:197-204.

        5. Chao A, Thun MJ, Connell CJ, et al. Meat consumption and risk of colorectal
        cancer. JAMA. 2005;293:172-82.

    • Gabrielle says:

      I’ve always heard that pork is not biblically good for you because back then they would not have been able to get the pig/pork hot enough to kill whatever bacteria was in it.

  54. Lindsey says:

    When I was pregnant we had a working title of Bacon for our babe to be because “everybody loves bacon”. We got so many Bacon themed gifts, it was awesome! To this day people still ask how Bacon is doing, some people don’t even know his real name. I even subtitled his birth story “A Boy Named Bacon”

  55. Sara says:

    I’m not a real vegetarian. I’m a poultry/seafood person, but it’s only because I don’t like other meat. Then I got pregnant and I got one of those weird pregnancy cravings for bacon. And then when I was no longer pregnant…I still liked bacon. So it’s the only poultry/seafood meat I eat ๐Ÿ™‚ I still don’t like a plain strip of bacon, but I love it in omelettes, breakfast burritos, and generally cooked in anything (soups, pizzas, pastas, etc.). And the 4-year-old is obsessed with bacon. He wants “bacon sandwiches” all the time!

  56. Violet says:

    I told my daughter we eat the ones that weren’t going to turn into chickens because there are two kinds of eggs. Technically true!

  57. That’s too funny. I don’t like bacon, but my boy does.

  58. Lisa says:

    REALLY want something good. Take a date, slice open the middle, insert a clove of garlic. Wrap it in bacon and grill or lightly fry it. DROOL!

  59. Carrie says:

    I grew up on a small little farm in North Carolina and we were not allowed to name the animals for this very reason… Don’t get attached to the food. When I was a bit older we ended up naming 2 pigs Freezer and Bar-B-Q. We didn’t get attached to them though!

  60. Mica says:

    Funny your post should be about bacon…Yesterday I asked my 3-year old daughter, “Who do you love?” She replied very seriously, “Bacon.” …No love for the mama when turkey bacon’s around.

  61. Liz says:

    We had this conversation with my 5yo a few months ago. I think I told him that eggs would only hatch into baby chickens if there was a rooster on the farm. And if there was no rooster, the eggs would not hatch and we could eat those. I think there was some fluff involving why the rooster was vital – but overall I was pretty happy with Poultry Birds & the Bees for 5-year-olds. ๐Ÿ™‚

  62. Jorie says:

    can’t believe no one has mentioned Bacon Salt, which is kosher and vegetarian. It’s not 100% baconliscious but it’s good. I like the story of how it was created – some dudes getting drunk on tequila shots with a bacon on the side were lamenting it was so sad that their Jewish friend would never know the joy of bacon. So they set out to make bacon a condiment. Voila, bacon salt…not made from actual animals.

  63. katherine says:

    My 4.5 year old daughter has said nearly exactly the same thing as Crappy Boy!! But as a very wise childhood mentor once said over breakfast, “Bacon is the candy of meat.” 30 years later, 6 which were spent as a vegetarian, I cannot eat it without thinking about how right he was. Now, in my organic-free-range-everything existence, it is a single unsustainable, unjustifiable and unbelievably delicious vice that pancakes cannot be served without. ๐Ÿ™‚

  64. Lauren says:

    This is off-topic from bacon. We are a total bacon household! My Grandparents had a farm when I was growing up and I was very fond of naming the animals. I don’t remember how old I was when I went there one summer, probably six or seven, and quickly gave everyone names. Well… there was this one chicken I named “Frank”. My Grandmother sagely told me “You might not want to name that one.” I ignored her advice and named the her anyway. You can imagine my horror when “Frank” showed up at a family dinner as fried chicken. I don’t really know why I never made the connection before. I didn’t eat meat for a long time after that but have since come back from my vegetarianism (as long as the meat doesn’t look like it was sliced off of an animal – which mostly means ground up) My exception is bacon, and lots of it!

  65. Kerrye says:

    You could totally blow his mind by telling him that marshmallows and jello also come from animals (and are not kosher) … That’s right. Rice crispies treats. Smores. Hot chocolate with mini -marshmellows. Not technically vegetarian. Why I could never do it. (Well, that and bacon…)

    • Courtney says:

      I haven’t eaten gelatin or marshmallows in well over 15 years due to how they are made.

      I’m NOT a vegetarian, though. The only thing keeping me from it, though, is bacon.

    • Jorie says:

      Though you can get kosher gelatin (and marshmallows). They’re made of fish connective tissue/bones instead of larger animals. Yum! For a vegan option there is something made of seaweed which is like what we used to grow bacterial cultures back in Bio lab.

    • Erin B says:

      Growing up Catholic, my family still observed the “fish on Fridays” rule. I completely freaked out my sister when I was 20 and she made a snippy comment about me using cream in my coffee on Christmas Eve and I retaliated by pointing out where the jellied salad came from. That was the last year mom served it.

  66. Lol

    It’s because bacon is delicious

  67. Becky Turner says:

    This is too funny. I watched Forks over Knives last week and decided we should TRY to lean towards veganism. So far we’ve been pretty good, but then I noticed we had a package of BACON in the fridge! (from before the video, obviously). I cooked it today (can’t let it go to waste!) and thought to myself, HOW COULD I EVER GIVE THIS UP?!

  68. Joanna says:

    Love this, I have my own crappy boy, he is five, he is also vegetarian … unless we happen to go to McDonalds! (yes I know terrible mother, shoudln’t let my kids eat McDonalds etc etc)

  69. Yuliya says:

    With all these talk.. I need to go make myself some bacon.. ๐Ÿ™‚

  70. Kate says:

    My dad is a rancher, so I’m not looking forward to explaining to my son where those cute little cows are heading off to when they get loaded in the truck…

  71. Rachel says:

    Ahhh bacon, I miss that stuff! And sausage rolls and pork pies. Bacon would be my downfall as a veggie… if only my husband wasn’t a Muslim. I’d probably be condemning us all to the deepest darkest level of hell if I started eating pig again ๐Ÿ™

  72. Blue Fairy says:

    I have 3 daughters – 2 of them LOVE bacon and HATE eggs, the other LOVES eggs and HATES bacon (and, indeed, all pork products). They’re all weird. Bacon and eggs rock. (Except eggs make my tummy hate me, but that’s quite beside the point!)

  73. Poppy says:

    My gateway meat was ham and soft cheese sandwiches. I’m drooling just thinking about it. I was vegetarian for 19 years!

  74. Shelley says:

    I LOVE bacon so much that I even put it on cupcakes! Okay so they are french toast inspired cupcakes with maple buttercream but non the less, bacon is for dessert as well at our house! <3

  75. neal says:

    I don’t think I’M old enough for poultry copulation. I thought that baby birds just sort of rained out of the sky and fell into nests.

    Also, is it wrong to think of eating bacon as the highest form of respect and admiration that we can give pigs? I mean, what with the holy communion and Christ’s body and all, right?

  76. It IS always the bacon. And the hamburgers. And the turkey smothered in savory gravy and accompanied by mouthwatering dressing. I recently announced I was giving up meat in an attempt to lose weight. That was Sunday. I ordered a spicy chicken pizza Monday.

  77. Ruby says:

    haha! I love your kids! I decided to be a vegetarian when I was 5 and I haven’t eaten meat since! I try to avoid bacon because I know I’ll fall in love with it. ๐Ÿ™‚

    It used to be so hard because my parents and siblings and friends use to flaunt bacon and steak in front of my face saying “you know you want it” lol I guess I have strong willpower ๐Ÿ˜›

  78. One of my friends told me they had a friend who was a vegetarian who still ate bacon. His reasoning was that bacon wasn’t a meat, it belonged to the lettuce family ๐Ÿ™‚

  79. Melanie G says:

    “It is way too early for poultry sex. I haven’t even had my coffee.”
    lol!! love it

  80. Christina F. says:

    I was vegan for a while bc beef and chicken made me feel nauseous for a while, and I’m lactose intolerant. Except for at family holidays when my Grandma made lasagna with sausage!

  81. andrea says:

    i love it ! i have a vegetarian friend who admitted that it he missed bacon the most.
    p.s. thank you for mentioning the “microcosmos” movie – my kids and i have watched it twice now !

  82. Bridgett says:

    I was a vegetarian for 14 years, until gestational diabetes and a lack of allowable carbohydrates made me want to quit. I still ate bacon though. It doesn’t count, cause it’s, you know, bacon.

  83. Karyn says:

    A few years a go we went to my inlaws for lunch on Christmas eve, they are Catholic and believe meat is not to be eaten on Christmas eve or Good Friday. My mother in law prepared a seafood feast, complete with oysters kilpatrick! Even my hubby didn’t realise we had eaten bacon until I pointed it out to him later. What is it with bacon? lol

  84. Beth says:

    That darn bacon. It gets you every time.

    I stopped eating meat when my dad mentioned we were eating Fawn, my neighbor’s cow I named and helped feed for a few months after he was born. I remind him of this whenever he makes a snarky comment about the fact I don’t eat beef (which I truly don’t, unlike the darn bacon….)

  85. mary says:

    This made me laugh so hard I about peed my pants!

  86. Laura says:

    My favorite part was when you said “poultry sex before coffee” LOL. I was going to take a nap right before I read your blog- now my sleep is gone. Oh, well. But I should have taken a nap….

    Was there a comment about Bacon as a name for a baby boy?
    That’s a great choice. Ask Francis Bacon

  87. Katelyn Dziedzic says:

    I’m feeling like the odd chick out- any other non-vegetarians out there who don’t like bacon?

    “It’s way too early for poultry sex. I haven’t even had my coffee.” I laughed so loud I woke one of my kids up.

  88. Elizabeth says:

    Now that little guy has his head on straight. Never say “Never” to bacon!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  89. HILARIOUS! I was a vegetarian for 9 years… except for bacon. Technically, that makes me a former “bacontarian”.

  90. Tracy says:

    I’ve been a vegetarian for 20 years now, and even before then I didn’t like bacon. I grew up eating things like turkey bacon so one morning after I had spent the night at a friends house and her mom was making us a breakfast of bacon and eggs. I got my plate and was completely grossed out by the chewy not crispy at all bacon. I was sitting there trying to figure out why on earth someone would willingly cook up a plate of something that I always cut off and didn’t eat. Funny enough though I liked BLTs. It had to be made with turkey or very lean crispy bacon though or I wouldn’t touch it. Veggie bacon works just fine for me now though.

  91. Bacon. I love bacon. When we have BLT night one of my kids doesn’t partake, but she’ll still have a slice of bacon.

  92. Amie says:

    Told my 3 yr old son that the eggs have to have ‘daddy magic’ sprinkled on them from a daddy chicken. He still to this day believes his own dad has magic, mostly because my husband plays it up a lot. I think we’ve got a couple more years where this answer still holds.

  93. Mari B. says:

    One of my 4 year old twins asked me, “Mama, since bacon comes from a piggie, after we eat the bacon, will it grow a new one?”
    Me, “Uhhhh…”

  94. Deidra says:

    Ha! I had my little carnivore convinced I was making “cat” fajitas one night. That didn’t bother him. He said he wondered what cat would taste like. He was, on the other hand very concerned about how many onions and bell peppers I would make him eat!

  95. Lisa says:

    Great, now you have me thinking that egg yolks are basically placentas!

    Love so many of these comments, lol!

  96. Zeph says:

    Ah, eggs and bacon.
    The difference between making a contribution and a commitment!

  97. S says:

    It has to be good bacon. Crispy. Chewy. Not moist. Free range.

    Otherwise I can happily give it up ‘cos my tastebuds have been spoiled by the best.

  98. Liz says:

    I’ve been a vegetarian for 14 years and I still miss bacon. That smell.

    And LMAO at “poultry sex”

  99. Rosemary says:

    I love a veggie burger with bacon on it…

  100. Sarahjane says:

    When my parents moved to Vermont after I graduated college, they, too, dabbled in a little farming. Dad bought six Herefords cows fo grow his own meat. One of ‘his girls’ was pregnant when she arrived. So he would not become attached to the cattle, he named them: Cow 1, Cow 2, Cow 3, Cow 4, Cow 5, Cow 6, and Little S**t.
    One evening, months after the animals had arrived, my father asked how we like the roast beef. I looked up from my plate and saw the delight in my father’s eyes, and I knew… I, too, became a vegetarian that night.
    Years later, when I was pregnant, my body craved meat. In my imagination there were giant steaks, not cattle, grazing on the countryside. Steak tipping would be much easier than cow, don’t you think?
    Thanks for your funny reminder.

  101. Alicia S. says:

    My husband raised a pig growing up and laughs when I ask him a bunch of questions about what it was like to eat it. He said nobody got attached to it because they understood what he was for. I have friends who would keel over and die at the thought, but loving bacon as much as I do, itโ€™d be pretty hypocritical of me to get sappy about it. Iโ€™m bad about making it on Sunday morning and being pissed that I have to save enough for the kids, lol.

  102. Michelle says:

    Hilarious post and the comments are cracking me up! Both of my boys love bacon. My youngest, 19 months, only has 8 teeth but he destroys the bacon! When the need for pork calls…

  103. karen says:

    i’ve been vegan for 11 years and have never been tempted by bacon. chocolate cravings, now that’s another story…but i think its because the smell of any chocolate makes me crave vegan chocolate, but in australia even the facon isn’t vegan so bacon just smells wrong.
    my 9yo occasionally asks why i don’t eat animals, to which i usually reply ‘just because we can treat animals poorly and eat them, it doesn’t mean we should’. he agrees, then says he still wants to eat them. not sure if he’s ever had bacon though

  104. Laura says:

    I’ve been a vegetarian for 18 years, and I don’t miss the best steak in the world, hamburgers, chicken, turkey on Thanksgiving or any of that. I miss the completely crappy, artery-clogging, terrible-for-you junk breakfast meats. I’m from Eastern PA, and the thing I miss the most is scrapple. “What is scrapple” you ask? It’s the leftover meat after making hotdogs; they grind it up, add in spices and cornmeal, form it into a brick. You then slice off a hunk and fry it in a pan until brown, preferably in bacon fat. Seriously, what is wrong with me??

  105. Sonia says:

    My neighbor’s got cows once when I was in high school. My friend named his Meatloaf cuz that’s what it was going to be.
    Bacon is wonderluscious ๐Ÿ™‚

  106. Dawn says:

    I was raised lacto vegetarian (no eggs) and my mom ‘forgot’ to tell me that most eggs are unfertilized. She would tell me about the poor little chicks that people ate and how cruel that was.
    Around the time I stopped being a vegetarian (15 or so) I found out how roosters and hens actually make chicks and I totally felt dupped…
    anyway I dunno what my point was.
    I love bacon!!!

  107. Courtney says:

    My sister-in-law grew up on a farm and when she was 7 or 8 they had a steer named Buttercup. One night they had Buttercup steaks for dinner. Someone mentioned that she was eating Buttercup. Her response was, “Oh my” and put another bite in her mouth. No way this girl is vegetarian!

  108. It was bacon that got me back into eating meat after being vegan for 7 years. At Burning Man, no less. There’s something about eating fresh bacon in the scorching desert…..
    Oh yes and when I was pregnant bacon was the ONLY thing I could stomach besides white bread and potatoes.
    I <3 bacon 4ever.

  109. Sara says:

    Bacon as a gateway meat. Truer words were never spoken! Or typed. For years I was the typical vegetarian except for bacon. Mostly because I was a prep cook and had to cook up pounds of it every morning. How can you resist that yummiest when it’s in your morning routine? I still haven’t got on the red meat wagon again, not that interested really. And turkey bacon? Puh-leez! It is so not bacon! Just like oven roasted turkey breast deli sliced is not turky breast, so it is with this play dough thing they call turkey bacon.
    I’m hungry.

  110. Lindsey says:

    I have a friend who’s 5 year old doesn’t want to eat animals but still likes meat. He’s declared himself an “edgatarian” – on the edge of becoming a vegetarian.

    My 5 year old, when discussing how vegetarians eat vegetables, came up with: โ€Ž”notavegetarian” = someone who doesn’t eat vegetables.

  111. Leslie says:

    I teach high school, and this May one of my kids showed me a picture of a bacon weave he had made. He literally took a pound of bacon and weaved it in a tight lattice structure, then cooked it on the grill and ate the whole thing. He marinated it in Arnold Palmer and butter first, of course. I have to say, I was impressed. In a way.

  112. Sarah-Jane says:

    I was, I repeat WAS, a vegetarian for 8 years. One day, while vacationing on the coast of Maine with my family, my dad made breakfast. Coffee, fried eggs, toast and ….bacon. “Dad, you know I don’t eat meat!” I scolded him. “It’s just garnish, like parsley, you don’t HAVE to eat it.” was his coy reply. But eat it I did, all of it. Then I went into the kitchen and ate the garnish off everyone else’s plate. And that was it for me. I feel hard and bacon was my undoing.
    Love your blog! All the best on your book!

  113. Brian says:

    Oh yea, the bacon…just the other day my wife was making some bacon, and I picked up a piece, went to bite it, and then dropped it on the floor.

    Well, I picked that sucker up off the floor before the dog could get it, dusted it off, and picked up where I left off.

    Nothing comes between me and my bacon!

  114. neo says:

    OH MY GOD. you don’t know how many times I’ve heard that from vegetarians. LOL!

  115. Starle says:

    My oldest is just like this! She can not stand the thought of eating animals. Unless it’s bacon. Or sausage.

  116. Blue Fairy says:

    When i was a kid we kept chickens, and then my dad got two pigs, and named them “pork” and “bacon”, his reason being “so there’s no confusion as to what’s going to happen to them”. I remember our friends being horrified, but it made sense to me. They were some tasty pigs! BUT, I cried and refused to eat my chooks. They were my babies!!! I had no issue eating eggs though.

  117. Shir says:

    I was a vegetarian for 6 years until i was 19 and … then pregnancy happened… and cravings…. oh sigh… i couldnt handle the cravings! i was (i believe) 6 months pregnant when fried chicken became my kryptonite!
    side note: bacon was not my gateway because im a jew… and jews dont eat bacon…. so… yeah lol
    side note #2: my husband usually doesnt listen to me when i read off blogs… but he laughs every time i read yours ๐Ÿ˜€

  118. LOL! For one of my husband’s co-workers, the gateway meat was a hotdog. It was all over after that baseball game…

  119. Amy says:

    Fresh Alaskan King Crab was what did me in. A huge bowl of it. Probably $300 worth. That my neighbor gave us for free.

  120. Ashley says:

    Bacon was totally my gateway meat. Also, after telling my mom I was going to be a vegetarian one night, I woke up the next morning and ate bacon. Oops? But after that slip, I was a vegetarian for 7 years until I was reacquainted with bacon. Now heading towards veganism. I will not let the bacon foil me! ๐Ÿ™‚

  121. Kristen says:

    It makes me sad to read this and the comments that make light out of animals being brutally killed for us to consume, not because we need to to survive, but because we want to wrap it around chocolate…or we want to follow the bacon trend. I have noticed its become stylish to talk about eating bacon. It’s so bad it has become good. We like to turn our heads the other way, but, pigs killed on factory farms are not killed humanely, to maximize production, a lot of mistakes are made and pigs are terrified and screaming while they endure the process. Gail Eisnitz went undercover in slaughterhouses across the county and til videos and wrote a book about it. We think animals are slaughtered humanely, but they aren’t. About the eggs, poultry isn’t even covered under tE Humane Slaughter Act and did you know make chicks are macerated, ground up alive or stuffed into a plastic bag to suffocate. It’s completely legal. Pigs have feelings, and can show empathy. In fact, studies show their intelligence is on par with or above a dog’s. Let’s face it, of you walked through a slaughterhouse, we wouldn’t be laughing.

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