Husband Versus Wife: Netflix

After the kids go to sleep we sometimes have a great idea.


We can watch a movie! We so rarely get to watch movies together, this will be great!

We login to Netflix. We start browsing.

We are so happy! Alone time at last!

watch a movie1

We can pick a grown-up movie! No puppets, annoying songs or animals that talk!

I suggest a title:

watch a movie2

But he says no.

I should have known. It has a woman on the cover. Any movie with a woman on the cover is highly suspect. It could be a chick flick. The only exception would be one that promises a healthy dose of gratuitous boobs. This one does not.

He suggests a title:

watch a movie3

I say no.

Why must he select movies that feature guns, flames, blood and fast vehicles? People dying in explosions are a bonus.

I suggest another one. This time I’m careful to reach across the aisle. I’ll pick something that anyone would want to watch. Something neutral. A comedy or documentary.

watch a movie4

But he still says no. He doesn’t even have a proper reason for saying no. He says something like “It looks dumb.” Sigh.

He suggests another title:

watch a movie5

No. No way. This one is about demons eating babies or possessed children or something horrible. This is the opposite of what I want to watch.

We keep looking:

watch a movie6

And suggesting.

And looking more:

watch a movie7

An hour passes.

Crap. What time is it?

watch a movie8

It really is late.

watch a movie9

And this is why we rarely watch movies.


Sometimes threatening with “I’m tired” actually results in him saying “Okay, whatever you want.” And vice versa too.

Sometimes we take turns picking the movie. No vetoing allowed. Course that usually results in the non-picker falling asleep halfway through.

And sometimes we actually agree right away.ย 

But most of the time we just blame Netflix for sucking.ย 

(Also, this post was inspired by Jill from this post on BabyRabies because she mentions doing this exact thing. Unfortunately, I still haven’t convinced Crappy Papa to watch that one yet. He sees Elmo and hides.)

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188 Responses to Husband Versus Wife: Netflix

  1. amy says:

    I can so relate to this! My husband will also watch the same movie OVER AND OVER again. He’s seen The Blind Side about 100 times. I don’t get it. Unless he has a thing for Sandra Bullock. I love your blog!

    • Valerie says:

      My husband does that too! And he doesn’t care if its half over. He also changes movies during commercials so I’ve watched the same scenes of lots of movies a dozen times without actually seeing the WHOLE movie!

    • amber says:

      Mine will too actually. I rarely want to watch the same one over again. I like newness.

    • Jill says:

      Yes! The same one over and over!

    • Taryn says:

      I’m with you there, how many times does one man need to watch Kill Bill?

      • Andrea says:

        Did you know “My COusin Vinnie” is on every day if you get enough channels…
        My KIDS can recite parts of it…

        • neal says:

          The Shawshank Redemption is a good middle ground, since it’s also ALWAYS on TV. It’s all about men, but it’s not merely a “manly” movie. In fact, there’s a lot of male rape, which maybe evens out the macho-ness of it?

          Anyway, my wife loves the movie, and I can’t complain about it either. The Last of the Mohicans is another of our go-to favorites. And the Princess Bride.

          • Bronwen says:

            You have great taste in movies!

            My husband watched Conan the other day…I just kept laughing, he didn’t appreciate it…

            We usually find a comedy is good for all

          • Emily says:

            Omg. I HATE The Last of the Mohicans. My husband watches it all the time. We like those stupid bromance movies like, ” I Love You, Man”

    • Rick says:

      Sandra Buttock does look pretty good in that movie. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Nicole says:

      My husband and I have been trying to finish a movie we started days ago that we actually agreed on.

    • Lisa Y says:

      Ouch, I guess I fall in with the guys on this one. I like watching a movie over and over again but my hubby doesn’t get it. I actually loved The Blind Side and I am not a sports nut.

    • Melanie says:

      OMG!!! Blind Side yes! Me and my husband have watched that like 1000 times lol

  2. Tracy says:

    Exactly what happens. We have completely different taste (husband and I) when it comes to movie. So we usually take turns, one night it’s his turn, then it’s mine (of course, stuff like that gets confused all the time then we get into argument over whose turn it is, and that’s a whole another story).

  3. Mandy P says:

    You should totally watch the Elmo one. It is really good. I started watching documentaries while the kids napped (and I folded laundry or baked or…you get the idea:).

  4. Hilarious! We end up just watching previews of movies for about an hour while we try to figure out which one we want to see. Then we go to bed.

  5. Sherry May says:

    THIS is exactly why we have two computers and watch whatever we want sitting blissfully beside each other on the couch or bed with headphones on! ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Bob says:

    The solution we have, just watch the puppets if needed during alone time. Besides the main thing we have in common is our love of most movies. Romance, Action, Drama, name it we watch it. She doesn’t like super violent movies, I don’t like Super Hero movies. The only flaw.

  7. sone511 says:

    omg, my now ex-husband and I would have this problem all the time. Sometimes, we would just skip it all and instead say that it was already late and there wouldn’t be enough time to watch it before we had to go to bed, so why bother.

  8. SarahO. says:

    Yep. Every single time. We tend to compromise and pick something neither of us really wants to watch and end up turning it off after five minutes because it is so terrible. We do that about six times before we give up, or I fall asleep. After I fall asleep, he can watch whatever he wants, guilt free. I think this is some kind of strategy.

  9. Angela says:

    A friend recently suggested a great website for my Netflix troubles. It’s It helps you search for movies on Netflix but it works so much better than the search features that Netflix has itself. I especially like the “Most Popular in the last 24 Hours” feature.

  10. It’s like you’re SPYING ON ME!! Seriously, watch Being Elmo.

  11. mbwest says:

    We do the same thing standing in front of the Redbox kiosk at the grocery store…

  12. Kayla says:

    We really loved “Being Elmo” as well!!

  13. Yukie says:

    This is what happens to me and my husband everytime we want to watch a movie. Every damn time.

  14. Ari says:

    It is 100% Netflix sucking!

    • Emily says:

      Amen! I do not have children. My fiance and I do this at least 3 times a week. Netflix just sucks.

  15. Megan says:

    Gooooood Lordy, sooo true!!! We started watching TV series because the netflix movie selection was such a dud every time.

  16. kris says:

    I am so grateful Blockbuster is gone- that was a minimum 1/2 hour of torture for me every time. It got to the point that I begged not to go, or I would stand looking at the high fructose corn syrup products in neon colors and odd shapes the entire time. He would always start by beaming “Tonight- YOU get to pick” (which is the nights I hated the MOST). So we would walk along the new release aisle and point out 10 to 15 different movies I wanted to see. He would often pick them up and peruse the back, but typically would say “What’s THAT about…” with a shred of feigned interest. Then I would go stare at the candy for a while, maybe look at the titles for sale while he looked through and picked out a handful of movies NOT in my top 10. For a while, I tried to wheedle him into something I actually wanted to watch (wasn’t that the point?) and then eventually learned just to linger over his titles and say “sounds good”. After 15 years of falling asleep during his movies, I now cannot watch a movie all the way through. I either have to flip through a magazine, cut coupons, fold laundry or read a book to keep awake to “spend time with him”. Or if I do fall asleep, I have to later apologize and say that either A) I was just so RELAXED with him that I couldn’t help it or B) the kids wore me out. Netflix has made this process easier because I can now just hop on another laptop and plug in headphones! Voila!

  17. Angie says:

    Best solution me and husband have come up with so far. We take turns doing this; one person picks 3 movies, then the other picks from those 3, next time switch. Sometimes you only get to pick the best of crap, but such is married life!

    • amber says:

      I will be trying this.

    • Kelly B says:

      There is and evil strategy to this process that will ensure you win every time… Just pick two movies that are so bad you know neither you nor he would want to watch and pick the one that you want (which of course is much better than the others). Therefore, he will have no choice but to pick the one you want… Just be careful. It could backfire.

      • amber says:

        I love you.

      • Candi says:

        This is such a great idea, except that my husband is on a mission to watch the worst movies ever made. I like doing that sometimes (seriously, for the laughs, nothing beats Gigli), but NOT ALL THE TIME. I would have to pick something anime, a blatant chick flick, and then whatever I secretly wanted to watch. Even then, he might surprise me.

  18. Melissa says:

    We do this every single time. And we usually have infomercials playing in the background while we scroll through Netflix so when it comes down to it, we end up watching a commercial for Time Life romantic heartfelt piano melodies from the 80’s and then going to bed. Movie fail. Nearly every time.

  19. On the very rare occasion we get to the movie, he insists on alien movies with plenty of special effects. His argument: what’s the point of the big screen unless the movie is visually stunning. I can never come up with a good argument against that. Fortunately, he’s not without endearing skills:

    And sometimes, I get to do my own thing:

    So I guess I can’t really complain!

    • Taryn says:

      Those links had nothing to do with movies or this topic.

      • Janelle says:

        She said sometimes they actually go TO the movies but only if it’s visually stunning, inferring that she misses out and he gets to enjoy the movie more than she. But he does some things endearing that makes up for it, hence the first link as example. Then the second link is her getting to do something for herself.

        Really, plugging your own blog with relevant commenting is not such a bad thing. Be kind.

        • April says:

          Plugging your own blog within context is fine (sometimes I’ll even check it out), but this is just stretching. Makes the blogger seem desperate, imo, and I’m much less likely to check out those links as a result. (And if the poster is a repeat offender, I will remember and purposely never visit their site.)

          I find people who do this as annoying as people who constantly turn the conversation back to themselves when we’re chatting in person. I find it rude.

          • Jennifer J says:

            I thought the links were perfectly appropriate, right on topic, and fun. I will read her again if she posts links, and I think the two of you are jealous that she has links to post ๐Ÿ˜‰

          • Claire H says:

            In reply to Jennifer J below (it won’t let me reply directly to her): These days, anyone who remotely wants a blog, has a blog. Simply having links to post is not something to be proud of, or for others to be jealous of, when it’s something anyone could have. And yep, I agree with the others that trying to big up your own blog up with unrelated links on someone else’s comes across as a little desperate and prob puts off more people than it attracts. Sorry.

          • April says:

            Jennifer J:

            I have a blog. But I don’t plug links here for the same reason I won’t follow the ones above. It doesn’t have anything to do with the topic of *this* blog.

  20. Valerie says:

    My husband has ruined a great many potential movie nights by watching previews of movies (some not even out yet) for an hour unable to pick one then deciding he’s too tired or falling asleep 30 min into it. I however, usually just say “I don’t care what you pick” because any vetoes just prolongs the agony of watching freaking previews all night!

  21. mollie d says:

  22. Alicia says:

    Thankfully my husband and I don’t have this problem. We like mostly the same thing. He’ll watch a chick flick here and there with me and I’ll watch stupid comedies with him if I can stomach it.

    • Jill says:

      You are so lucky!

    • Taryn says:

      Us too, I’m so thankful that we agree most of the time.

    • amber says:

      I hoped that couples like this existed. It gives me hope.

      • Elisabeth says:

        We do exist! Sickening, isn’t it?

      • LiteralDan says:

        Yeah we definitely do! My wife and I greatly enjoy a lot of the same movies, but we both have plenty of other movies we’re on our own for, so while it makes nights like the one you described more rare for us, all that other stuff of ours almost never gets watched, because there are so many other easy choices to agree on instead.

        I have a very impressive collection of years-old unopened DVDs, mostly British comedies or classic (i.e. black and white) films, which some even nerdier girls out there might sigh over. Still, I’m not complaining, I know how good we have it.

  23. Tarina says:

    Hubby and I do the turn taking too, because we just NEVER agree on any must-see movies! Tv shows, either. He loves sci-fi stuff which I can watch once in a while, but a lot of the stuff he watches I just get bored with. I prefer stuff with those inter-personal dramatic relationships. I stay at home with my kids all the time (ALL the TIME!) so I like to atleast watch OTHER people living their lives, or see the shows that have so much drama it makes me feel better about my life ๐Ÿ˜› – or medical/cop shows… which he can tolerate sometimes too. Pretty much we just sit down and watch Lost and whine about nothing being on TV. lol

  24. Leila says:

    Definitely watch Being Elmo! It was an amazing documentary. I happened to put that on one day cause I wanted to have something in the background while working on something and the Hubs and I ended up sitting on the couch watching it. Really, really good.

    But that aside, for the most part, Netflix’s selection is pretty bad. We do tend to watch a lot of TV shows on there instead, cause that library is better stocked. But as of late, the movie stock has gotten better. They have Thor, Captain America and a few more recent blockbuster films on there already.

    • Lacey S says:

      Ooh, they have Captain America? I wanted to watch that again!

      My husband and I have a lot of overlapping taste in movies – his tend to run towards the pointlessly violent and just bizzare, and my drift towards romantic and funny, but there is a big range we agree on or at least will watch together. Lately I just start something… if he’s interested he’ll turn around from his computer… if he’s REALLY interested he’ll come and sit down on the couch. But we watch opposite shifts, so actually finding a time we’re both willingly concious and idle is more of a difficulty than finding the right movie!

      • Lacey S says:

        (I mean we WORK opposite shifts – I’m out of the house 6am – 5pm, and he’s out from 7pm – 7 or 8 am…. so yah, we don’t get a lot of time together ๐Ÿ™

  25. Megan says:

    I can’t wait to show this to my husband later. He gets home at 10 or later so we don’t ever get to watch a movie and about 90% of our time goes into deciding what movie to watch so finally I just go to sleep lol

  26. Melinda says:

    We don’t have netflix so I’m usually stuck watching whatever my husband rents from the store. Sometimes I’m lucky and he calls me to give me a choice between two or three he’s narrowed it down to but I know I’m in trouble when he just picks without calling! I shouldn’t complain too much though b/c the suspense thrillers tend to prevent me from drinking that extra beer (afraid I’ll spill it during a jump-around-the-corner scene) and I give my abs a super workout holding my breath most of the time. Plus those movies tend to wear me out so I sleep better. But I don’t tell him any of this or he’d have more ammunition to use against me!

    • Jill says:

      I have the opposite problem, the thrillers will keep me awake all night!

      • amber says:

        Me too. And then I wouldn’t be able to go to the bathroom alone by walking through a dark house. This has happened. (After watching 28 Days Later which is my one of my favorite horror movies, but holy crap is it scary! I couldn’t walk past windows!)

        • Kami says:

          That’s a classic. You are right. In the old days, I could watch the grossest, scariest thing without a problem. Now…Forget It! LOL! I’m a wuss. I love all the virus movies. Resident Evil, 28 days later, Outbreak. The only problem is, now I have to check under the baby’s bed and our bed before we go to sleep! LOL! Thanks for your stories. They are the best!

        • Emily (other one) says:

          Usually I am ok but with no hubby to hold on to during scary parts so I have on occasion used fast-forward check who dies etc and then rewind to watch. When I was little my best friend, a boy, loved horror movies and was allowed to watch whatever he wanted. For years, after he made me watch a movie with killer dolls I was extra careful with my toys.

  27. Dils says:

    It is exactly the same here too, we can never agree in one movie, and spend to much time trying to decide that end up going to bed and not watching any movie.

  28. Alex says:

    My husband doesn’t like watching movies because they’re “too long” and he doesn’t want to be up that late. He’s a morning person and I’m a night owl. I’ve given up on trying to convince him to watch a movie. We spend time together doing other things, um… in the bedroom.

    I struggle with picking movies for myself and I have wasted many an opportunity reading movie summaries. There are so many choices but so few good choices it seems. My trick is to select a handful of movies during the kids’ nap and add them to the instant queue. When evening comes and my brain is half fried, I just pick a movie from the pre-selected ones.

  29. Diane Dawson says:

    Yay! I can’t relate to this at all!! Hubby and I have the same eclectic taste in movies. we always agree. I know. You can be jealous.

    Every. Single. Other. Post. I’ve related to in a :headdesk: way.

    love your blog.

  30. Carolyn says:

    Oh man, so true! Except hubby is almost ridiculously picky about what he’ll watch, so I usually just have him give me options and I’ll veto anything I REALLY don’t want to see. Still, the process takes so long that we don’t have TIME to watch a movie by the time he’s done, and IT DRIVES ME BANANAS! He seems perfectly content to have spent an hour browsing movies, but that is an hour I could have been getting the dishes done! Or putting away that load of laundry! Or painting my toes, ANYTHING would have been more productive than sitting and listening to him list why everything sucks! *sigh* But I’m spending time with him, and that’s what matters, right? Right? ๐Ÿ™‚

  31. Gena says:

    We take turns picking too, it is the only way to get movies watched.

  32. Tracy says:

    Story of my life!! My husband refuses to watch anything with a guy and girl on the cover…they are automatically chick flicks…regardless of what the movie is about. I refuse to watch anything scary. That pretty much leaves us with action and comedy…he prefers action, I prefer comedy…it’s a never-ending battle. *sigh* The only thing I have found to work is to go to Redbox alone, pick a movie (I do try to get something I think he would like too), take it home and announce to him that I picked out a movie that we HAVE to watch tonight because I don’t want to get charged for another day! He normally gives in…but only because there’s money involved! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Jay says:

      Wow, that’s clever. I AM GOING TO DO THIS! God forbid we should pay another whole stinkin’ dollar, lol.

  33. Sarah says:

    Go start watching the AFI top 100 list. That way even if you watch a movie outside a genre that you like, you will not feel like you wasted an hour because it will still be a good movie. That is what DH and I like to do. For instance I do not like Westerns, but Shane is still an awesome movie. Of just watch anything done by Janus films-those are always good, or anything by Ingmar Bergman.

    • amber says:

      We tried this once (years ago while we were dating) and I think we’ll have to revisit this plan, thanks for the reminder!

  34. Christina says:

    Man, first world problems are the worst….

  35. WordyDoodles says:

    YES. This is exactly why we have watched more documentaries than anything else– it’s the fastest way we can Get to Yes. So many nights have ended with, “Ah, let’s just go to sleep.” lol

  36. The problem is the Netflix actually DOES suck. There’s nothing good on there – ever. Unless you want to watch the 200th episode of Deadliest Catch, which we do, because it’s the only mothereffing thing on there. When we want to watch movies now we just get something from Family Video – 5 nights for $2 and if you rent 3 you get one free. Dirt cheap, huge selection, and the kids movies are ALWAYS FREE. I sound like I work for them. I’ve actually fantasized about getting a job there when I’m really sick of blogging and going to school.

    • amber says:

      LOL, my favorite job of all time (except maybe this one?) was working at an indie video store when I was in college. It was awesome and I saw everything for free. It is my imaginary career to fall back on too!

      • Kami says:

        Movie critic. That’s my next career. (Yeah, right). i loved working in video stores. I saw every movie made those years. LOL!

      • briony says:

        Ah, then Amber you *have* to watch ‘be kind rewind’, have you seen it? Jack black film, he’s a bit annoying but a great ‘unisex’ film my hubbie picked it. Has a bit of 80s nostalgia as well. I so want it to have been a true story

      • Rebecca says:

        Everyone keeps complaining about the Netflix movie selections being awful. We just have the 1-at-a-time-through-the-mail option through Netflix, and the selection is great! The instant viewing option must be pretty limited. We have hundreds of movies in our “queue,” and we stagger the selections. My 3 year old will get a kid-friendly movie or cartoon, then one of my husband’s choices will be next, then some obscure indie flick for me, repeat.

  37. Christopher says:

    Skip the movie and have some sex?

    • amber says:

      What did you say? I couldn’t hear what you said.

    • alicia ley says:

      this made me laugh so hard!! after our netflick battle ends with a ‘’ ceasefire… my husband always insists that the good news of our diplomatic agreement is that we now have time for sex… maybe this is his evil plan all along!

  38. Amy says:

    I think what we really need is a website where husbands and wives can say which movies they’ve watched together and what each of their reactions were to it. Also, it should have a “before movie began” exhaustion rating (I mean, if you’re tired from the kids you’ll fall asleep even if its a great movie) and a place to say if you fell asleep or not during the movie.

    But my hubbie and I recently watched and both enjoyed the Iron Man movies. Superhero action and hot Robert Downey Jr.

    Also enjoyed “Due Date.” Funny, but not stupid, good male and female humor moments, and again sexy RDJr.

    I also enjoyed Gran Torino a lot more than I expected. Its has a manly title and hero, but great story.

    Best of luck!

  39. Marilynn says:

    Wow. Our marriage movie issues VERBATIM. I like dramas, he likes documentaries, and so we usually end up watching a comedy. And getting a decent comedy that’s neither stupid (him) or chickflicky (me) is SO hard! Find a friend and declare girl’s night to the movies!

  40. Adriane says:

    We watch a TV series we both like. In our case, Star Trek. That way we can just queue up the next episode. Of course, agreeing on a series you both like may be a whole other story.

  41. Daniel says:

    Ah, I love coming from a relationship where I can’t stand TV or movies and my wife loves them. So, whenever we do watch a movie or something on TV, I watch with her just to spend time with her, which means she always gets to choose and I couldn’t care less, as long as she allows me to let my hand slip onto her chest at some point–which she loves–so the movie or TV show soon becomes moot anyway. ๐Ÿ™‚

  42. Louise says:

    When my husband and I disagree about Netflix, we go right to Arrested Development, any episode. It’s saved us from many arguments, and we go to bed laughing.

  43. Brenda says:

    We also spend too much time searching for a movie and when we DO find one we can agree on we never make it all the way thru because we’re too tired.

  44. Christina Rogers says:

    My husband will usually watch a chick flick with me, cuz he is smart enough to know he will reap the benefits. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  45. Sophie says:

    We like to watch seasons of shows. Like Parks and Rec or Bones. Or Burn Notice or whatever is available on Hulu or Netflix at the time. It’s shorter, I can rewatch it without him, and sometimes he picks ones I think I’d hate and I end up liking. We watch seasons and seasons of shows and that makes the decision for us for weeks sometimes until it’s over! That way we don’t have to search anything on Netflix and avoid divorce.

  46. Tina says:

    This is why we also watch shows on Netflix or something he wants because at least he will stay awake to watch it

  47. jenn says:

    This doesn’t really help the basic challenge, but I thought I’d share a success story on this topic.

    I was recently shocked and pleasantly surprised when we watched and both liked Wanderlust. I thought it would be more for him because it seemed stupid and he thought it would be more for me because of Jennifer Aniston so we both went into it with “meh” expectations due to compromise (boo) and lo and behold we both enjoyed it.

    • amanda says:

      You know what? Me, too! I really loved that show. Maybe more so because I swear I have met people who are just like the commune people, but whatever. We both enjoyed it a lot. The only painful part was the scene where he wads chatting himself up for sex, lol! I cringed.

  48. Peach says:

    Netflix ended up being a porthole into more TV Series. The movies became so obsolete to us that we turned off the DVD rentals and had Instant Streaming… which left us with less options for Movie Night. But, we went thru Monk, Psych, Drop Dead Diva, and even some Murder, She Wrote, A-Team, and Magnum, P.I. (:

  49. LOL, same in our house. I gave up a while ago!

  50. Jay says:

    Yeah, we totally do the Netflix thing too, except we take turns watching TV shows when we can’t agree on a movie. We take turns. One episode of mine and one episode of his. Especially if we waste 45 minutes looking for movies. It’s great because you don’t have to stay up for 2 hours watching a movie, you can watch 2 episodes with no commercials in less than an hour….The hard part is he is 11 years older than me, so the stuff I think is hilarious, he uses the, “It must be a generation thing.” excuse to say it’s lame and he can’t understand it. So it takes forever to get him to like something new, like, The Big Bang Theory based on the fact that he’s 47. Really??? Irritating. Grrrr.

  51. Daniele says:

    I think netflix should modify their suggestion formula so you can have 2 “raters” and then another formula that would suggest movies you BOTH would like.

  52. Janet says:

    I tend to fall asleep half an hour into a movie, no matter how interesting I am finding it, so I’ve said yes to many ‘guy’ movies lately.

  53. Lyl says:

    OMG – this is soooo us too! LOL. I started actually making a list so when we get that precious time we could just pick one from the list – which is categorized by “he’d like”, “I’d like”, and “maybe both would enjoy” !! Blessed life indeed.

  54. Tara says:

    You are fricken hilarious! I should be working instead of reading your blog entries and all the comments but it totally makes my day because I can relate to each and every one of them. And I love your drawings! The eyes have so much emotion in them ๐Ÿ™‚ Hahaha!

  55. Woolies says:

    There are actually 2 REAL movies that are currently showing in REAL theaters that I want to go see.
    But does HE??
    I’m calling my friend Cathy to see if she wants to go.

  56. Mama Bear says:

    We have found neutral ground in all the new comic-book super-hero movies. A little mayhem, a little comedy, sometimes a bit of romance, a tragic death to motivate the heroes. A little of everything more or less.

  57. Linda says:

    Yup! Sounds like our house too. He won’t even watch most comedies.

  58. Shelley West says:

    I was just thinking this today!! How I’d love to sit and relax to watch a movie tonight after the kids go to bed, but then I recall the last several times we made plans to watch a movie. Movie night is always thwarted by something. The weekend nights can be such a let down after you have kids.

  59. Linda says:

    Yup! Sounds pretty much like our house.

  60. Shannon B says:

    My husband and cen never agree either! He loves martial arts flicks while I like the more girly movies. Our usual compromise is to watch a crappy movie with rifftrax (super funny commentary of that movie a’la the makers of Mystery Science Theater 3000). Otherwise we watch them separately.

    • Kimmm says:

      Shannon B’s reference to a “crappy movie” gives me an idea!

      {{lightbulb ON!}}

      Amber, if you were to create some Crappy Movies that would give us all something interesting to watch … hubbys might even enjoy it too!

  61. Cassandra says:

    LOL@ we just blame Netflix for sucking. Love that one, its sometimes true. at our house its easier because I hate chick flicks and so its usually either action or comedy.

  62. Emily says:

    Married my best friend. Meaning we have extremely close tastes in movies. ๐Ÿ˜› He’ll tolerate my chick flicks though, from time to time. But for the most part, I love the hero flicks, so does he, so there’s always something. Oh, and cartoons… we watch more cartoons than the kids…

  63. Sara says:

    TV series save us… especially if we can pick one that has lots of seasons. Plus, we usually can’t commit to a 2+ hr movie but can stay awake for a 50 minute episode. We’ve like a lot of the HBO shows… Deadwood, Rome, The Wire.

    • Ken says:

      Yes, we almost never are able to carve out enough time to watch a whole movie. TV shows, especially half hour ones, we can cram in once in a while. When the kids were real little it saved us from the aggravation of never making it through a movie without being interrupted. Now we’re just too tired and busy.

  64. Candice says:

    Omg, I swear we live parallel lives! This is typically us as well, lol.

  65. Lauren says:

    Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s been over a year since my husband and I have watched a movie together.
    Instead, we’ve been watching old TV series together, because when we finally agree on one, we can continue watching it for months!

  66. LindaR says:

    I’m with Lauren – TV Series FTW! (that might as well be us up there in those adorable squares.. “no. this one? no. How about? no.”

  67. Amy says:

    We TOTALLY have this problem but it gets worse. My hubby has sleep apnea so no matter which movie is chosen he falls asleep about 20 minutes into it. DRIVES ME CRAZY when it is HIS choice and I didn’t want to watch it in the first place :).

  68. Meghan says:

    This is my husband and myself EXACTLY! Love, love reading your posts. They seriously make my day!

  69. I can relate. The thing I really enjoy about Netflix and marriage is how their recommendations formula struggles to incorporate both of our preferences, based on our disparage viewing habits, as if we were were one person with wildly swinging tastes. Hence “The Tudors” and “Battlestar Galactica” both make the “Top 10” suggestions.

  70. Shanon says:

    You are living my life!!! LOL!! We do this… but the “I’m tired” thing usually just results in us popping in a dvd instead of some dumb sitcom we’ve seen a million times!! HAHAHA!!

  71. lisacng says:

    We just give up too!

  72. LeahM says:

    My husband and I argue over shows on the DVR. He wants to watch alien or ghost encounter-type shows and I want to watch Sex & the City reruns (since it is summer and that’s all that’s on). Usually I win. And then he stays up late watching his show after I go to bed.

  73. schaun says:

    We love Netflix but we mostly watch tv series on it, which we have much better luck with… so far *crosses fingers* lol

  74. I just usually watch whatever my husband wants, I prefer to watch my movies by myself

  75. MissusPie says:

    1 – BRILLIANT drawing of your apple laptop. That was spot on and one of your better pictures. I think you’re getting the hang of this drawing ๐Ÿ˜‰

    2 – We’ve watched the trailers for an hour and then decided not to watch any movie because they all looked dumb! We’ve even got to the point of cross referencing ratings from IMDB and netflix when we can’t make the decision…..oof.

  76. Callee S. says:

    that Elmo documentary is AMAZING! My hubbie suggested we watch it and I’m so glad! It was so good!

  77. Stefani Clark says:

    This happened to us last night. We only have Netflix (no cable) so we argue quite a bit about what to watch after the kids are in bed. Fortunately we do have some similar tastes so we agree at times. My husband hates “chick flicks” too but I think he should suck it up since I watch all those horror movies he likes!

  78. briony says:

    I have a bad tendency of buying my husband presents that really I want, so a few year’s ago I got him a year’s subscription to Love Film (uk service where you pick a load of films online then they post you 2 or 3 of them, when you’ve watched them you send them back and they send you another one from your list)

    So I set it up with his email address and a password we’d both know, but he sneakily changed the password and has been in sole charge ever since. So no arguments! He does try to add films he thinks I’d like and mostly gets it right. It’s a bit like the 3 options thing except we have to watch them all eventually. One time he even did us a season of classic French films (our blockbuster days used to be filled with moans of ‘no way, it’s foreign’)

    He loves scary movies, and we’ve had the odd terrible gratuitous ones. However, I never really watched horror films till he itroduced them to me, so it kind of reminds me of when we first started dating… I think it was his ploy to make me scarednd need to hug him!

    However with a 4 3/4 yr old and a 1 1/4 yr old, they sit there for months unwatched and its a total waste of money.

    But amazingly we watched ‘the social network’ 2 nights ago, the facebook film, good and pretty unisex.

  79. Janelle says:

    Speaking of seeing Elmo and just hiding, try Being Elmo a documentary about Kevin Clash, the puppeteer of Elmo. It’s really quite brilliant and hugely interesting. No joke.

  80. Makenzie says:

    I love the angry eyes! Ha ha!

    Check out The Inbetweeners on Netflix! It is a series from the UK about teenage boys and it is totally hilarious.

    • amber says:

      You had me at British comedy. Which is my favorite flavor of comedy. I added it to the queue, thanks!

      • Emily (other one) says:

        Doctor Who, Torchwood, Eureka, and Warehouse 13 all on Netflix. Action science fiction with comedy and personal interactions and the first two are British. Plus, they are an hour so you can watch something and still get some sleep.

  81. Pip says:

    My hubby is so nice he pretty much always lets me choose (though I’m a pretty cool wife as I like sci-fi and hate chick flicks)…but this system isn’t working too well as not only do I take forever to decide, but I am also the. world’s. worst. movie chooser. If there’s a mind-numbingly boring movie within a radius of 100km, I’ll find it…it’s got to the point now where I’m starting to veto my own choices! :/

  82. DrL says:

    OMG this is so us. I was thrilled because the last 2 movie nights we actually agreed on a movie both times. One was the new (to us) Muppets movie, and I was so excited I can’t remember the other one.

    And i don’t know about your husband, but while I’m putting our daughter to bed he’ll find the absolute weirdest stuff on TV for me to come downstairs to. As others have mentioned, it’s usually something he’s seen 3110983274029873432987 times. And it’s usually awful.

  83. K says:

    Watch The Killers, with Aston Kutcher and Kathering Heigl. It has something for girls and boys! ๐Ÿ™‚

  84. LC says:

    Here’s our system: I usually suggest we watch a movie together if one of two situations exists: 1. Too many sappy kid shows. Need violence to even it out. In this case I just let him choose and mostly just go with it. He knows not to choose anything where a child or pet will be hurt. Ever since becoming a mom this sort of thing makes me want to run from the room. 2. I have a movie I want him to see. I have probably just seen it, sort of, in flashes and 10 minute increments, and think I might like it if only I could string all those bits into something coherent. Also I won’t be able to share my witty, pithy remarks about it unless he sees it too. In this case the movie is probably at least two years old and it turns out he has already seen it. He is generally a good sport about this. I know not to go full chick flick on him. He will sigh, pick up the iPad and ignore the movie. Every once in a while we watch a “new” movie together, (and with no laptops on!). Thank goodness our tastes intersect at sci fi, or blood would be spilled in choosing.

  85. Kim says:

    I love your angry eyes LOL

  86. Betsi* says:

    There has not been one single movie my husband and I have agreed on liking in our twelve years together. We usually end up watching Anthony Bourdain or Top Gear, though we’ve seen every episode…twice. It’s our secret to a happy marriage. That and whiskey. plenty of whiskey.

  87. Lisa says:

    Thankfully, we mostly agree on movies. There is a time and place for explosions, guns, gore, and zombie babies. Actually no, I’m not a fan of any movie that has suffering or zombie kids. But sometimes, after a long day, I want something like that. But he also appreciates the ‘milder’ stuff. No chick flicks tho. I don’t usually enjoy them and save them for about once a blue moon when alone and bored or hanging with a chick-flick-loving friend.

    But what we do is that whenever he sees a movie trailer (and he looks at them regularly on apple’s website), he adds it to the netflix queue. Even if the movie isn’t released yet, you can put it on the list for when it *does* come out. That way, when we do get a chance to watch a movie, we have a queue full of a variety of options.

    Reduces Netflix suckage considerably. Except for their selection of Family movies. Which truly and totally sucks donkey butts.

  88. Megan says:

    I have long held a theory about movie selection behavior and its correlation to relationship stages. When I walk into a movie rental storeโ€”GASP! yes, an actual storeโ€” i can TOTALLY tell the stage of relationship of the couple by observing how they select their movie.

    There’s the first or second daters. They are super cordial to each other, very supportive of one another’s choices. They stand close to each other, though not touching, and look straight at the wall together.

    “What about this one?”

    “Sure!” (said in an unaturally high-pitch tone to demonstrate his or her easy-going demeanor, a highly desirable trait in a long-term relationship.)

    Most likely they pick a general, right-down-the-middle blockbuster. This behavior suggests they both have hopes that, less than halfway through the movie, it’ll transition from a movie-watching date to, em, something else. But it might not. So better get one that will be tolerable to watch.

    Then there’s the new relationship stage. These two can’t keep they’re hands off of each other. They quickly grab the closest movie on the new release wall because they both know they won’t make it through the opening titles before, um, the couch activity transitions from PG to, er, fifty shades of something.
    (In the spirit of full disclosure, I am always jealous of the simplicity and predictability of this stage).

    Then there’s the “we’ve been dating for a while but still are maintaining our independence” relationshippers. They enter the store and immediatelh break to different parts of the store. They meet in the middle periodically for the “how about this one?” conversation. It is followed by thoughtful, considerate debate. One usually wins Over the other. This is remembered for the next movie-store trip, when it is leveraged to allow the other to choose.

    Then there’s the new family married couple, kids in tow, tugging at ankles, screaming for a video game or ANNNNYTHING with a princess on it. The parents suggest a more mindful choice, offering te the title in another unusually high-pitched tone. The kids don’t buy it. Continue screaming. With their brain cells clenched, the parents look at each other, without saying a word, and head to the checkout counter with the video game and princess movie. The look says “I know we want to hang on to the normalcy of our old lives, but let’s just get the #%>ยฃ out of here.”

    Finally there’s the married couple who have been together for a while. You won’t see them. They are already at home, passed out on the couch with the tv off.

  89. Megan says:

    Sounds perfct for a coin flip. Oh, and me and my hubby have a coin-flip app on our phones. yes, Sounds childish. but it has saved our relationship from some ridiculously childish arguments!!!

  90. Amanda Reed says:

    Been there!!!! Stupid Netflix! Suggest something different from the other suggestions you’ve made a million times!

  91. Kristen says:

    I think you are living my life. This happens at least once a week in my house.

  92. Hahaha!! This is so spot on. We’ve been going through the foreign film section at our library pretty aimlessly, and throwing in some classic Hitchcock. I don’t even ask my husband what he wants to watch. I just bring it home. It sounds like you’re equal opportunity in your house! ๐Ÿ™‚

  93. That sounds exactly like my husband and I.

  94. Madison says:

    This is hilarious because it used to happen to my fiancรฉ and me when we first moved in together (back when we had Netflix). Now we use Blockbuster @Home and we have the ability to either get movies as they become available or from the top of our queue only. We end up watching movies that each other want to see since we both add movies to our queue. When our movies do arrive itโ€™s always a surprise, but at least one of us chose the movie for the night. I told one of my girlfriends I work with at Dish about this and she and her husband have decided to switch to Blockbuster @Home. Sheโ€™s thrilled that sheโ€™ll be able to watch movies that she likes with her husband instead of Goodfellas for the millionth time!

  95. Kate says:

    This is exactly the reason why we discontinued our Netflix subscription.


  96. Lindsay says:

    LMAO. Yep!

  97. I’m sure I’m the very most first person to say this, but we were doing that same thing last night. Netflix sucks. So does my hubs taste in movies…

  98. Jenny says:

    we have a lot of dvd’s so usually one of us picks six and then we take turns eliminating one at a time until we pick the last one.

  99. SJP says:

    I don’t have time to read all the comments so sorry if someone already suggested this —

    We had the same problem with movies on Netflix and finally gave up and tried something else. Now we watch tv series via Netflix. It’s SO much easier to find something we agree on, and I just found that it was easier to committ to 45 minutes of something than 2 hours. (Although sometimes we plan to watch 1 episode and end up sucked into 3!). Also – once you are “in to” a series, it’s a gurantee entertaining watch… whereas with movies there is that risk that it’s going to suck. It seems to be easier to meet both of our interests with shows like Castle, Bones, Mad Men, Big Love, Big Bang Theory, Dexter, Friday Night Lights,…. gosh so many to name. Oh and you must look up the BBC comedy “Coupling” – HILARIOUS. Point is, we have found shows we BOTH like. I should point out that we don’t have cable or a DVR… so we watch ALL of our tv shows this way (and thus are a season behind…). I like it better though. No commercials, no waiting a week to find out what happens,etc. Or worse, my hubby is a channel surfer who when we used to watch shows live, he’d start exploring what else was on during the commercials which drive me INSANE! ๐Ÿ™‚

  100. alex says:

    ha! we have the same problem as well. usually we we can agree on is a TV series. what does NOT work is both of you picking a movie and watching them back to back. Our rule was that the movie had to be shorter than two hours so we wouldn’t both fall asleep. I think in desperation we chose to do that one night – I picked “Bring it On” and he picked “BeDazzled” then we flipped a coin to see who got to watch their movie first. Since I won the coin toss, he mercilessly poked me throughout his movie (which was DUMBER THAN ROCKS and I think I actually lost IQ points watching it) and now we just don’t pick out movies together anymore.
    and yes, Netflix sux. Also? No foreign films, because inevitably someone falls asleep, starts crying, or both of you go WHAT IS HAPPENING and doesn’t understand, even through rewinding. ๐Ÿ˜›

  101. Meridith says:

    Same exact thing at our house except my husband adds’s rating into the mix. Generally, if a movie has below a 6.7 he will not watch it. (If it is a horror movie, his standard is 6.2 or above, there are other criteria but I just glaze over when he starts talking about the “logic” behind it). It’s annoying to have to consult a website during our movie selection time.

  102. Erica says:

    My husband and I have this battle at least once a week. Most of the time we end up trying again later in the week and end up watching a documentary.

  103. Shana Galen says:

    We can never agree either, and then I’ll finally convince him to watch a movie I want and he’ll end up loving it. Example? Twilight. Everyone is talking about husbands watching movies over and over? he’s watched Twilight dozens of times! Oh, and how is it husbands have time to watch movies over and over? I don’t even have time to watch them once.

  104. Martha says:

    I am hoping that this list:
    will help us avoid that in the future.

  105. umma says:

    My kids wanna know (ok it’s just me) why Crappy Papa has gained so much weight and why does he sometimes have an invisible neck, not that anything is wrong with that….? Thanks!

  106. Ildi says:

    Wow I thought it was only us.. good to know we’re not alone ๐Ÿ™‚

  107. Yep, that’s us too…at one point I put a moratorium on any movie in which the wife/main romantic interest dies within the first 5 minutes, and it severely limited the number of movies my husband was interested in. “But no one does anything awesome when their wife is safe at home…they have to have MOTIVATION!”
    If I am ever murdered, anticipate my husband doing something “awesome”…

  108. Littlefoot says:

    OMG this is so us. Sometimes it can take up to three hours to sift through all the crappy movies on Netflix, only to hate the one we picked. We’ve watched the first 20-30 min of many, many stupid movies.

    I suggest adding a bunch of good movies to your instant queue. That usually saves time. Or just find a good go-to show. A few we like are stargate, alphas, psych, and the walking dead.

  109. Steph says:

    I totally feel ya with this one lol… altho usually I just say “fine, what do you want to watch” and he’ll cave ๐Ÿ˜‰ lol I’m good with mostly all types of movies though, but some times I’m just not in the mood for certain ones.

  110. lawahine says:

    This is why we just sit next to each other with our own iPads and earbuds. Of course it drives me nuts if he is watching something “funny” and laughs every 30 seconds.