Hi. How Have You Been?

Hi.

It’s official-ish. I can now draw the picture I’ve been thinking about drawing ever since I drew the “pause” button one. Can you guess what it is?

Here it is:

A gold star sticker for you if you guessed it correctly. Or the blue or red or silver one, whichever color you pick for yourself is okay.

So.

SO.

Can we just skip the awkward part? Aren’t we two old friends who haven’t seen each other in ages but can just have glasses of wine and pick up where we left off? Let’s do that. It’s so much more fun.

However, like two old friends, I suppose there IS some updating on each other’s lives we should do, huh? After all, it has been a while since we last hung out.

Let’s do the typical update. “So how are the crappy kids?” They are good!

This is what they look and act like now:

I’m KIDDING. It hasn’t been that long. They are still little kids. Although “little” is relative since nobody is in diapers anymore and everyone sleeps through the night. Gosh, it HAS been a while.

The main thing that has changed with our family is that we moved.

Like, super duper moved.

Remember when I’d go on an on about moving to Wisconsin and my “rustic dreams” problem like in this post when we visited? Well. We did it. We moved. And mostly everyone (back in California) thinks we are crazy. Which has always been true, but now we’ve finally proven it to them.

Wanna know what every single person asks (and still asks) about us moving from Southern California to Wisconsin? THE WEATHER. The weather! The SNOW. The WINTER. Weather, weather, weather, weather! Let’s panic about the weather!

No matter how many times I told people that I “grew up in Wisconsin and Minnesota” Californians (who have never lived anywhere outside of California) would continue to educate me on the severity of the weather.

To the point where I learned that the most fun thing to do in a situation like this is to completely play dumb.

Because that makes their heads implode. It also renders them speechless for at least a few moments where I can AGAIN tell them that “I’m just kidding, I grew up there.” Then it usually sinks in. Plus, don’t most people do a little research before moving to a new place?

Oops, I got off track. This was supposed to be a general update. It must be all the wine we’re drinking. It makes me chatty.

I’ll have more to say about moving and the culture shock of city to rural in another post or two or not. Who knows. I have TONS of stories, people. That’s the beauty of taking a pause to live a bit. You have more to say when you start again.

So why unpause now? Why not?

I honestly can’t explain succinctly why I was creatively stuck and now I’m unstuck. It’s too complicated and would be very boring to most of you. I don’t think creative flow is something you can control though. I do know that I want to balance writing here with making other types of “crappy” art. That doing both is the only way this will work for me.

There is so much more I’d like to say. About how much the world has changed since I paused and the struggle of finding and celebrating joy in the face of so much sadness. About the beautiful and tiring job of raising children and how it just gets even more complicated (and funnier and more joyful in different ways!) as they get older. But all of that is DEEP stuff, and I always tuck in the deep stuff with the funny stuff so nobody really notices. Later. Later.

So are we all caught up? Have another glass of wine.

What is new with you? (Seriously, I’d love to hear. How old are your kids now? Did you move? What is inspiring you? What is the last thing you ate? What is the last thing someone in your house threw up on? Tell me stuff. I miss you guys.)

 


Hey, this is where the disclaimers go!

Crap, I don’t think I have one. Clearly, not a good post then. Sorry. Cut me some slack, I’m rusty.

Oh, if you don’t want to drink wine for our catch up, we can drink tea or coffee. I swing all the ways with beverages. 

Oh wait, I thought of something else! For the jaded among you, you probably think I restarted this blog to hawk my art for sale. You are partly right. (Then again, you’d think I’d stock my shop more, wouldn’t you? I didn’t. Because balance. There is time for everything, just not all at once. The link will be up again after I have it ready.) I’ll be very upfront and state that I do not want to sell advertising space here or host giveaways with sponsors. I’ve struggled with ways to make the time put into this space worth it financially. This is a way that I can make this work and feel good about it. If anyone is put off by the idea of an artist wanting to make money for what they create you can go ahead and suck it. 

(Wow, my first disclaimer and already I’m telling people to suck it. How is this blog so popular again?) 

HUGE thank you for being here. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! I updated my Facebook profile pic recently and wow, I did not expect so many comments from doing that. It was pretty incredible. I’ve missed you all and forgot what an awesome community this is. I also really, really appreciate those of you who followed me on instagram all this time, which was the only place online I continued to hang out. Warning: I’m not funny on instagram. It’s real photos, people. It will probably hurt your eyes to see that we are real people. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. 

 

 

 

 

 

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395 Responses to Hi. How Have You Been?

  1. Erika says:

    OH MY GOD YOU ARE HERE! I haven’t read the post yet, I will when I get home, I just got the email that a new post was up.

  2. Helen says:

    Ooo. Can you share where ish in the state you are? I’m in WI. Glad you are back to creating!

  3. Zach S says:

    Yay Wisconsin! We moved to Minnesota from Pittsburgh, PA, and everyone we knew from Pgh warned us how bad the weather would be. It’s true, the weather is really crappy a lot of the year. But it is really beautiful all year round! And the public schools are good and we have jobs! So, there’s that. Glad to have you back. Sorry your state has such an awful governor, though with our president, your governor is somehow looking not quite as awful as I had previously believed him to be.

  4. Sarah says:

    I’m so happy to see you! The last thing that was thrown up on in my house was the kitchen table and it was horrible! LMAO My kiddos are 12, 8, 6 and 1. I just can’t believe you are writing again, I so need this hilarity in my life.

  5. Angie S. says:

    Crappy is back! (jumps up and down) You have no idea how much I’ve missed your posts.

  6. Sarah says:

    Yayy!! Welp….I had another baby. My last baby. I’m excited to read your stuff again. But I get the pause. I stopped blogging. I just didn’t want to share anymore. But I like reading other people’s sharing.

  7. carrie says:

    My littles are 4 and 2. Cheers! Glad you are back and I understand about not forcing creative.

  8. jsmum says:

    I didn’t think you’d come back! I had given up!

  9. Havi says:

    I really admire that you took the time you needed and knew when it felt right to come back. I really struggle with makeing time for myself when raiseing two kids and want to work on knowing how to step back from things to spendmore on what I want to do.

  10. Congrats on the move! But, you know, it’s really COLD there.

  11. Gena says:

    Crappy Mama is in the building! My eldest is 9, middle is 7 and youngest is 5. Drinking wine right with ya! I’m looking forward to more posts!

  12. jennk says:

    I wish I could drink a glass of wine with you in real life! I’m in Iowa, it’s pretty close to Wisconsin, hint hint.

  13. aziza says:

    I do not like ads smeared all over blogs and I especially dislike sponsored posts so for you to have to apologize for not doing that and selling art instead is ridiculous. Definately tell people to suck it, woman, as a fellow writer, I’m with you! LOL

  14. Brenda says:

    Lols at the picture of Crappy Baby and Crappy Boy. I knew they couldn’t be that old since mine are roughly the same age as yours but it has felt like a long time.

  15. Dev Lunsford says:

    You, madam, are a genius and an all around Good Egg.

  16. Betsee says:

    Miss you love you! My baby is a senior this year, SN son moved into a GROUP HOME!!! Oldest can drink legally now, as can his girlfriend!

  17. Jen says:

    I’ve missed your posts! (But followed you on Instagram so I could still know what’ you all were up to!) When you posted your pause I was knee deep in poop and spit up from my 7 month old twins (my first kids). Now I’m knee deep is threenager sass and wit, and thank God more than a year past diapers (cloth diapers and twins. So now I have my life back. Sort of.).

  18. Katieh says:

    Yay you’re back! That is fantastic news!

    Some how by the end of the month i will have a 9yr old, a 7yr old as well as a 4 1/2 yr old (and builders in the house, as we finally do our extension.)

  19. Meera says:

    Hey, great to see you back! LMAO at the picture of the boys!

  20. Angela says:

    My baby is now six! I’ve missed the blog so much! It’s exactly what I need right now.

  21. Jen says:

    You are back! My boys are now roughly the age of yours when you started writing this years ago, so I have been enjoying your articles all over again! Welcome back, we have missed you!

  22. Margaret says:

    Yay! Welcome back! My baby is now 5 and the last thing she threw up on was me (of course)… all over my lap. Congratulations on the move and can’t wait for more crappy pictures!

  23. Candida says:

    Yay! So glad you are back. I love following you on ig (and getting home/lifestyle envy) but have really missed your blog. Now we get blogs and pictures – win win.

  24. Anne says:

    I’ll have to try playing dumb next time–we moved from Miami to Ohio, and we got the same thing: “But the snow! But the cold! You can’t go outside for months on end!” Because, you know, having your hair melt off for 4 months straight while the mosquitoes shellack themselves to your sweaty skin isn’t a big deal, but flurries… well… they kill, you know.
    So glad you’re back! My littles are 5 and 1 and I look forward to the mamaraderie.

  25. Renny says:

    Welcome back, big hug! My guy is 5 now. We left NorCal for Canada this summer, and yes, I hear you. Also some people don’t know why we’d leave a giant city for a small one. Oh and the car mechanics keep saying how nice it is to work on my rust and gunk-free car. Not that it will last.

  26. Jana says:

    Welcome back! I am so not telling my hubs about your move. He grew up in the stix and I in the burbs. We live in a city now (and I love it, but he does not) and if I told him about your move he would start pestering me again. Wow, wine really does make one chatty!

    Glad to see you back. My eldest (10) just asked me to re-read him Penis Pizza last night. Must have been an omen.

  27. Mandy says:

    Welcome back! We just moved, too, though only about 10 minutes away to the other side of the same town. But when my husband moved here to Buffalo, he got the same kind of comments. What made it extra ridiculous is that he’s from New Hampshire, where they actually get more snow than we do. But snowy reputations are hard to overcome.

    No one has thrown up on me lately (knock on wood), but the dog got his tail stuck in the door last night and then proceeded to wag it enthusiastically causing blood to fly everywhere. Looked like a crime scene. I was tempted to leave it and just claim it was a Halloween decoration. One discovery from this. My oldest (10) is not cut out for the medical field, but the youngest (almost 7) is pretty awesome in a crisis.

  28. Tera says:

    Welcome to Wisconsin 🙂

    • Tera says:

      P.S. The boys are 9, 14, and 17. Seventeen! How did this happen?! Busy with football, football, and mountain biking. Trying to settle into this school year. I’ve been thinking it’s September since mid-August (still do think it’s September).

  29. Callie Baby! says:

    Welcome back! Your book has been on my nightstand for over a year. I read it here and there when I’m done with the day. I live down in Chicagoland and we absolutely love Madison. It’s our go to, getaway place for adult weekends. We have a 2 year old over here, and we’re in the planning stages to add another kiddo over here. 🙂

  30. erickajen says:

    Yayayayayayay!!!!
    I had forgotten about the pause. But I know I missed you! Thought about how sometimes we “viral” things and then the moment runs out and you wish you had more of that thing, or you never remember it at all – with you I wish I had more. So glad you’re back!!! 🙂 and I’m so happy to hear about the move!!! Super sweet!! Welcome home!!! We love it here don’t we? 🙂 I’m in far northern mn. Like, boundary waters. So ya. There’s that. If you ever want to be really really cold… way of bird it’s probably only 30 miles to that coldest spot ever – -60. Lol

  31. Mir says:

    Yayyyyy! Seeing you pop up in my feed reader made me happy. I’m glad you are well and it’s really nice to “see” you. 🙂

  32. Jessica says:

    I’m so happy to see you back. I love and appreciate your “I’ll post what and when I’m inspired” approach, that’s what keeps things genuine. I started reading your blog when I had two boys, a 2 year old and a newborn, just a bit younger than your boys. It was so relatable and just the thing I needed, I laughed and cried and laughed as I read your posts. I of course had to have your book, which every mother with young kids should read! My boys are now 9 and 7 and because life was too dull with the two, we added a daughter, now 3, to the mix!

  33. Mary says:

    Ahh!! You’re back! and welcome back to the Midwest. It’s a good place to be 🙂

  34. YAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS! I’m so excited you’re back!

  35. Rachel says:

    I just spent most of my morning dealing with lice. Finding a new Crappy Pictures post was a perfect post-vacuum/nit-combing pick-me-up! Especially cuz it’s waaaay to early for wine 😅 So glad you’re back here, though I love following you on instagram too 😊 Happy creating!

    • amber says:

      Oh no! We have not had the lice experience. I hear lice is attracted to clean hair? I think we’re safe. (Hoping I’m not jinxing this.)

  36. Lisa says:

    My kids are 5 and 8 now and my life is suddenly luxurious where I still work part time and spend my other days swimming laps at the pool and drinking coffee in silence while they are in school.

  37. Lisa says:

    I feel like I just bumped into an old friend whose kids grew up with my kids, but then they just left. Poof. Glad to see you back. My little spawns are 8, 7, and 5 now. No more cloth diapers or poop paintings on the walls, but life is a whole different version of chaotic.

  38. Brenda says:

    Oh, the weather! I grew up in WI and now live in MN, and I feel like I would get the same kind of conversation if I ever said I wanted to move to CA (which I don’t), except it would be along the lines of, you know it’s always hot, right? And the weather’s always the same? Have you found it harder to deal with the cold since moving back? My dad worked in LA for three years, and all that time in a different climate did make him more likely to wear a jacket when he came back to WI.

  39. Shelli says:

    I shrieked with happiness to see you back!! I don’t think you understand how much I love you and need you in my world. Haha. Big, big hugs from rural Oklahoma, girl. You have been sorely missed.

  40. Jo says:

    OH I’m so happy to see you! Was just thinking about your blog last week – what a nice surprise.

  41. Tracey says:

    YOU’RE BACK! YAY! Lots has happened since you were last here! After over 4 years together, I said YES. We planned a wedding. We got married. We went on a honeymoon. Now we’re trying to have a baby, while teaching our teenager how to drive (not all at the same time, of course – that would be gross). People think we’re crazy, we think we make perfect sense. All this while my mother is in palliative care, and likely won’t make it to Christmas. Oh – and we’re moving this weekend. (Maybe we ARE crazy?!)

  42. michi says:

    OMG! You’re alive! Hey we moved too. From sunny Los Angeles to the mountains of Boulder, CO. Yes, we don’t really know each other but I can relate to the move part. It’s weird to live in a place where the gridlock is just a few small blocks. It’s cute!

  43. Carolynn says:

    We jumped ship in California too….but we landed in Nevada in a place I’ve loved for a while. I get wild horses daily, go on rescues when they get stuck in mud pits, jump fences they aren’t suppose to, and other naughty behavior. Crappy Hubby works from home, Crappy dog is inside lots because our neighbors dog makes the other neighborhood dogs bark but they take offense when our crappy dog barks in reply 😑 Crappy kiddo loves her new school. Today I’m stuck inside because there was a fire on the other side of our valley and it’s too smoky to go ride my horse or be outside very long. *cheers*

  44. Theresa says:

    Happy to press play! I missed you. My daughter is now 7 almost 8 and one of her favorite movies is My Neighbor Totoro. That is because of you. I knew nothing of Miyazaki before reading your blog and now we are fans and have seen many of his movies. You also introduced me to other people online, so thank you. I have also moved from new NYC to rural Vermont this year and have no regrets. I may want a tutorial on your chicken coop! Welcome back!

    • amber says:

      That’s wonderful! We still love all the Miyazaki films here, we were just talking about re-watching them as it has been a long time.

  45. Amanda says:

    I saw your Facebook profile pic change last week and I knew something was up, but didn’t want to get too hopeful. Glad you are back!

  46. Eldest 5 younger 3 says:

    Welcome back, we’ve really missed you! Your crappy pictures about quitting is still my all time favorite. Wishing you happy wine-tasting and creating! Wishes from Finland ☔🇫🇮

  47. Vicky says:

    It was great to see you pop back up on my feed! I’m down under in NZ and our kids are almost 10 and 7! 🙂

  48. LeAnna says:

    YAY! My boys are 5 & 8 now and we had a big move too! From the suburbs of seattle to rural southeastern Illinois! Husband retired from the navy submarines and we are now back on the family “farm”. I just transitioned from being a stay at home mom to working part time. Lots of changes. 🙂

  49. Karen says:

    Welcome back! My kids are 6 and almost 5. I’m a playwright who lives in Wisconsin too. Hence, I support and encourage hawking of creative materials and might even cough up money to buy something to help another mom/artist. Cheers!

  50. Amanda says:

    I have missed you!!! And you’ve come back at a perfect time, when the world needs all the humor, smiles and loving it can get!! My littles are soon to be six and soon to be 3. Welcome back, Amber! Looking forward to reading about more of what has been going on with you!

  51. chantelle says:

    so happy you are back!!

  52. Mickey Zagorski says:

    Hooray and welcome back to WI. I live here too and it’s not THAT cold.

  53. Jeanna Peterson says:

    Seriously! Welcome back from rural MN! I think of you and your family frequently. Thank you for sharing an update! I will have some wine tonight in your honor. I can’t wait to see some new crappy pictures soon so I can totally relate and laugh until I snort. 🙂

  54. Alexis Brink says:

    Welcome back! We move the opposite way, from the country to the city…which has been kinda crappy. But notnin the cool Crappy way that you make things!
    Excited to see your new work!

  55. Snarffalita says:

    Welcome back! I’m just glad to read your stuff again, and frankly, everyone needs a vacation.

    My baby girl is getting married next summer, and I can’t deal. It happens so fast that I thought your car keys and beer status was legit.

  56. Tanja says:

    I am really happy to see you are back! I missed your texts and pictures. They made me laugh so much when son Nr 2 was a baby. To catch up, they are six and three, we still live in a little village, I like to lose myself in books sometimes, cheese and wine after a loooong day,, and the stairs, if cats count.
    Welcome back! Yay!

  57. Kelly says:

    Hooray! I didn’t realize how much I have missed this until I saw this update! We moved from Northern California to Idaho (yes, it is a state in the NW US… and I am not mispronouncing Iowa). But, since so many believe Iowa and Idaho are interchangeable, we are technically Crappy neighbors… And yes, we can relate! The weather was (and is) a major topic of interest of all of California friends. Also my kids just won’t stop growing up 14 & 16 and driving (thanks to farming state driving laws). You’ll learn about them in Wisconsin! Glad you are back.

    • amber says:

      Don’t tell my kids the younger farming driving thing. They will suddenly be even more enthusiastic about farming.

  58. Megan says:

    I’m so excited you’re back! I discovered you before I had a kid, and now that I have one, your blog is even more applicable to my life!

    My kid is going to be two next week, I’m dying, maybe a little more than I did when she turned 1. But every day I notice different things about her, and she’s such a big girl now. I think I’ve probably experienced a lot of the things you’ve drawn about Crappy Baby. I’m a little terrified about the Crappy Toddler stage XD

  59. Kerry says:

    I’m so happy you’re back! Welcome back! Hope everyone is settling in well in Wisconsin. I can’t even remember how many years you were paused, so maybe you’re all long settled, but anyway, Yay! You’re back!

  60. Angie says:

    Yay! WISCONSIN 😄
    I’m in the “coulee region” glad to have you back!

  61. Kerry says:

    P.S. – If you want to know how I am, I’m well. Although I was supposed to be working from home today, and when I went to the fridge to take out a mug of coffee I had stashed there earlier, it slipped, and the stupid mug bounced on the floor and spilled (propelled?) coffee everywhere! As in, all over my ceiling. 🙁 And all over my face. And hair. And body. And the top of my refrigerator. And the doors of my refrigerator. (Probably inside the refrigerator too but I haven’t looked). And the floor too of course. So. much. coffee. The mug didn’t even crack. Stupid mug. I wish it had broken and spilled coffee only on the floor. The ceiling! Did I mention the coffee was splattered on the ceiling?!

  62. Jill says:

    We moved too! We’re building a new house so right now we’re living with my husband’s parents. So yeah. Lots to talk about there. And we don’t have anyone in diapers anymore either, so that’s big. Missed you.

  63. Evy says:

    We moved! All of 2km…Belgium is really small, 2000 meters is a big thing 😉 nice to have all kinds of feeds/timelines crappified again!

  64. Kristy says:

    So glad you are back. Mine are 7 and 3 now and your blog posts and book helped me laugh through some tough moments with them both.

  65. Theresa says:

    HOORAY! Soooo happy to have you back! We’re discussing moving to WI since the hubs originates from there. I hear it’s cold there or something. Maybe when the kids finish this school year, Idk. We can be wine (and cheese!!!) buddies if we make the move north. I’ve been promised if/when we move up there I’ll get to go see the football team Crappy Husband wanted to win the World Series. :’D

  66. Mary says:

    I am so excited to see you back!! Since you paused my husband and I added a third munchkin to our crew. I know what the heck were we thinking?

    • Therese Molnar says:

      Ha ha. So did we! It’s like you wrote my post for me. We also added a new crappy puppy. What were we thinking? So basically our three little mess makers have a big furry helper.

  67. Johanna says:

    So happy you are back. I’ll have some coffee. So many things have changed. Moved from the States back to Germany (well, 4 years ago). The child will turn 7 soon. He is playing soccer and taking drum lessons. His favorite subjects in school are math, art and p.e. Living with his dad in Kansas, though (bummer). I’m about to have cabbage soup for dinner and call it a night. Looking forward to your drawings.

  68. Candice says:

    Yay! You’re back =D

  69. Ana says:

    Still in Lisbon, Portugal!
    Glad to know you’re back.

    Last thing my own crappy baby threw up was a beautiful brunch in a 5 star hotel, because of course he couldn’t do it at home, where nobody who stare at me with those “bad mother” eyes.
    He’s already four and in kindergarten; while my crappy boy is already 14 with crazy football practises, so I’m actually cooking dinner and making time to pick him up.

    I’ll save my glass of wine to the moment I get back home and everyone is asleep, because if I drank it now, I would totally deserve the “bad mother” tag.

  70. Katie Bloome says:

    So happy to see you back! I live in MN – rural Midwest is wonderful. I just had my second kid, so your return is well-timed for me!

  71. Susie Wiechman says:

    Welcome to the Midwest! Great to see your crappy faces again. My crappy kids are also out of diapers but still do not sleep through the night at 10 and 7. I have permanently given up on exercise due to exhaustion & have made friends with my extra 40…pounds that is. Hope all is well. Glad you’re back!

  72. Sarah says:

    Welcome back!
    My boys are 6 and 3 nearly 4. How time flies!
    We haven’t moved, I’ve taken up running, I blame you, there was nothing crappy to read 😉
    Glad your back!

  73. Bronwen says:

    So nice to catch up! (Over hot chocolate, by the way). Back when we first met, I was studying my library diploma, and now i have a job as a librarian. I’ve cut my hair (my friends all tell me is still long, but it’s short for me). My daughter is 14 now, can you believe it!! Nearly 15, actually. And my young lad is turning 8 next month. Where did the time go?!?

    Why do people get so crazy about weather? You know what, here in New Zealand, when people come to visit from overseas, they often think it’ll be like going to a Pacific Island. Probably has something to do with the fact that my country is a bunch of islands. In the Pacific. But you know what? It actually snows sometimes too, and the summers are mostly crappy.

    Thanks for stopping by! Can’t wait to catch up with you again,

  74. Terri Dufour says:

    I’m so happy to hear that you are doing well! Hurray for a move to the rural. Nothing is more peaceful than being away from people 😂
    My baby, with whom I read your stories over and over again while nursing him at all times of the night is now 3.5 and the .5 means a lot. Almost out of diapers and can relay his thoughts (sometimes too well). The other two are 6 & 12 (yikes- that picture is almost correct).
    I can’t wait to hear all of what you have to tell us. You were very important to me during a busy time. I hope your time is spent fulfilling your life.
    Glad we got to catch up! *hic* now it’s time to turn in.

  75. Lauren says:

    Caught the husband cheating (again) and finally threw him out. One out of two kids are ok. God, I’ve missed ya. Still stuck in Alabama, trying to get back to Boston. Year 13

  76. Jennifer says:

    Delighted you are back! Welcome home.

  77. Leah says:

    Happy you are back! My wonderfully crappy kids are 9, 7, and almost 4 now. I personally need wine now more than ever! Can’t wait to see more of your stories and art!

  78. Paige says:

    I want to scream but I’m at work!!!

    I’m so incredibly excited you’re back.

    I went through a rough depression about 3 years ago (think not showering, a lot of anger, a lot of self loathing, meds and counseling…) and sometimes when I would get completely overwhelmed, and my own brain wasn’t safe anymore, I would read your blog posts. Being a young mom was/is the hardest thing. And you GOT ME. This blog was one of the only things (well, this and Ellen 😞) that kept my brain light enough so it wouldn’t sink. Thank you for that.

    I’m out of that funk, living life, taking showers like a boss, and SO glad to be on the other side of your creative pause with you. The best is yet to come, I’m sure of it. 😊

  79. Jill says:

    I have MISSED YOU!! Welcome Back!

  80. Melody says:

    Hooray! Welcome back. I’ve passed around all of your crappy columns to friends so many times, and every time they make me laugh 🙂 My two boys are 4 and 6 now… also no more diapers and everyone (pretty much) sleeps through the night. Looking forward to reading more of your work, and hearing about the adjustment to (cold!) rural (wintery!) Wisconsin!

  81. Cheryl S. says:

    So glad you pressed play! (Also so glad that I still followed you on facebook so I’d know that)

    My daughter is now 12. This means 1. I’m embarrassing. 2. she knows everything. 3. She’s growing up! (Ugh. How do you stop that, anyway?)

    Welcome back!

  82. Mary says:

    Welcome (back) to Wisconsin. I’m here too, though I’m not in rural Wisconsin (at all). I’m very glad to see you back in action though, and look forward to seeing some crappy pictures of your slightly-less-little boys. My girls are now 7 and 2. My older daughter is in 1st grade now, and my toddler is loving daycare. We moved from Janesville to Monona, and I changed jobs, which has been fantastic. No one has thrown up on anything in my house in a very long time, and now that I’ve said that, I’m sure someone is going to become violently ill this evening.

  83. Sarah Chilcote says:

    Welcome back, dude.

  84. Misty says:

    It’s been YEARS! Glad you’re back 🙂

  85. Lisa says:

    Oh, it was so nice to see you pop up in Feedly! I have been loving following you on Instagram (I told you the story of my daughter’s newt dinner parties once). My kid is almost 7. We did move! From Los Angeles to Seattle to an island in the PNW. (So I get: “The WEATHER! The RAIN!” but I love love love it here.) YOU are inspiring me. I love seeing your photos and your art. I’ve also been inspired by keeping a journal/planner combo, which I’ve kept up with daily since May. Tracy Shutterbean inspired me to take the parts I’m inspired by with bullet journaling, scoot past the overwhelming bits, and make it my own. Writing things out with nice pens has me feeling more organized and creative. I just ate a bagel with mustard, apple slices, and cheddar. The last thing someone threw up on was the floor, because I never remember to explain to my child (a rare puker, fortunately) the concept of throwing up in the toilet except for right when she’s about to get sick. Which just horrifies and confuses her, then she throws up on the floor. And now I’m going to write “explain puke etiquette” with a pretty pen in my handy notebook. Welcome back!

  86. Erin says:

    Welcome back! We’re good, still here in Texas. There’s a new baby, she’s 17 months now, and I’m homeschooling the oldest now, and the preschooler too, a little bit. The dogs died, and now we have a cat and chickens

  87. Amie says:

    We’re moving from suburban LA to suburban Wisconsin in six weeks and I. Can’t. Wait. Woohoo!

  88. Leah says:

    This is great news – glad to see you back!

  89. MW says:

    The last thing that was thrown up on was…my hand. My 3yo blarfed a hot dog. Into my hand. But doing so spared his shirt, so yay laundry! Sigh.

  90. Michelle says:

    Woo hoo! Happy you are back, can’t wait to read all your upcoming posts (funny and deep). Last ate: coffee and a chocolate cookie, both necessary for survival. Kiddo is almost 20 months, planning on adding to the family soon for more chaotic goodness.

  91. Amanda Johnson says:

    Welcome back. It literally was only just a few days ago my daughter (now 10) had your book and we sat and read through it. We reminisced to when we went on holiday (last April 2016) which was the first time we flew abroad as a family. Both my children sang the plane is going to crash song. Not funny, but really funny at the same time. So pleased you’re back, happy days. Much love, The Johnsons, St Helens, England xx

  92. Ann Blankenship says:

    Well, I was hoping someone would ask because… my crappy new dog pooped under the table and when I went to clean up the poop I noticed that he had also been peeing on my big COPPER THING that they used in the olden days and now it was all discolored and there is a big green ring on the floor and……… I’m going outside now to think about cleaning up the garden for fall.

  93. Misty says:

    I hear you about the weather stuff! We moved from a hotter, dryer part of Oregon to a cooler, wetter part of Oregon and peoples are always asking how we’re coping. Doesn’t matter that I grew up in the cooler, wetter part of Oregon, or that we LOVE the rain, people still worry we’ll get sick of it. (Ain’t gonna happen!)

    Anyway… Congrats on your move, and I hope you adapt to the weather. 😉

  94. British American says:

    I love that you are back! Even more so that you are in WI, because I am British but live in Wisconsin. I have been here for 16 years now and since I am British I love to talk about the weather. I’m guessing you must have been here through the winter already then.

    My kids are now 12, about to be 10 and 6.

  95. Elena says:

    Welcome back. You’ve been missed. Not that you know who I am, but you asked!! My kids are now 9 & 8. We moved from TN to FL last October. Florida is home for me; I’d been gone 10.5 years. Divorced, devastated, rebuilding!! Yay!!! :-/ Anyway, I’m really glad to have your humor to look forward to! Again, welcome back.

  96. Franziska Schell says:

    I love that you are back! Looking forward to reading all the hilarious posts again!
    Breaks are good and important- but glad that you decided to continue here!
    we moved from cold winters (Munich) to cold winters (Zurich)- but at least we have a beautiful lake to swim in in summer now! It was good to move, even if my mother-in-law is still mad at me that I took her son away….

  97. Amanda says:

    YAYAYAYAYAYAY! So happy you’re back. Our boys are 11 and 14 now. I always laugh out loud at your cartoons–they hit parenting and marriage right on the nail! Thank you for providing so much joy and laughter!

  98. Jessica H says:

    Yay! I have missed your crappiness. I don’t remember how long it has been but my boys are now 3, 6, 9 and we did a similar move and the same question by the locals. You moved from Florida for THIS? (Scotland!) Welcome back – can’t wait for more 🙂

  99. Rachel C says:

    Welcome back!!! Oh, how I have missed your posts!!! I last had a 6 year old throw up in a bowl last week, my 4 yo threw up later on the flor, and the 2 yo managed to just have gross diapers for 3 days. Fortunately infant has escaped the plague. I’m looking forward to you pointing out how these moments can be laughed at our day 🙂

  100. Andrea says:

    This makes me so happy! You’re like an old friend I reconnected with. I followed you beginning in 2012 when my oldest was a baby and I was a brand new mom. And now my kids are 1,3,5 and I’m getting a handle on this mommin’ thing. Welcome back.

  101. Kristin M says:

    Oh my gosh I am SO HAPPY THAT YOU’RE BACK! Congrats on the big move! I’m in Manitoba, so I understand the cold. I can even kind of understand returning to it, as I once gave up permanent residency in Australia to move back home. So, I hear you! Anyway, looking forward to some fresh new funnies and creative updates. Take care!

  102. Cordelia says:

    Welcoming me back! My little is now 10 and hitting puberty, it’s interesting. Since you’ve left I have mastered the fine art of making a margarita and today, I had a slice Smitten Kitchens cannoli pound cake for breakfast.

    Warm hugs all round.

  103. Jen M says:

    Welcome back!

    At the risk of being totally socially awkward and not being very good at small talk, how is Wendy’s family doing these days? I saw your 2014 update. 🙁

    • amber says:

      They are doing well. A bonus of moving to the midwest is that we are now closer to them (they moved here first) and they stayed at our house for a week this summer. And they’re planning on visiting again soon, so that’s been wonderful. They are all growing up and full of joy and sadness and it breaks my heart to be able to see them and know that she isn’t here. But I’m thankful that I get to be with them.

  104. Sonia says:

    YAY!!!!!🌈🎊💜🙌🐣🦄🦋🐢🐙

  105. Julie says:

    Welcome back!!! You were missed.

  106. Tarathebookling says:

    Oh my word…We moved to Northern New York a year ago and the weather thing is STILL happening! Like, gasp, really? It snows here?! I am so glad you, random acquaintance, told me. I never would have known!!

    So glad you’re back!!! Can’t wait for more posts!! 💖

  107. Emma R says:

    Lovely to have your crappy observations back. My kids are now 6 and 8, so no more crazy sleepless nights, but I’d still relish some crappy humour. Keep it coming please!

  108. Christine says:

    Yay for more crappy!! I’ve missed this blog. In the time that you have been gone, I’ve moved (though only 45 minutes away), and my boys are now 11, 7, and almost 5. Just this morning, the youngest was coughing and laughing so hard that he threw up on the oldest one’s bed. Before 6 AM. The joys of motherhood….

  109. Mimi says:

    I spent two years in Minneapolis as a tween. I love cold weather. You just have to dress for it. But here in North Carolina, I get the same reactions. Welcome back! Can’t wait to read your new stories. I have 3 grandchildren now and 1 more on the way.

  110. Serena says:

    I’m so excited you’re back!

  111. Allison M says:

    Welcome back to blogging and the Midwest! When I first started following you, I didn’t have any of my own crappy kids, but now I have a three year old.

  112. Ana says:

    Ah! Well, I have been teaching preschool. This is my third year. I just had a kid crying, “No! I don’t want you!” Because I was coming to pat backs, which means they’ll sleep.
    I have a seven year old, and am fostering a 5 year old.
    We bought a car after two and a half years without one.

  113. Sarah G says:

    OMG! One time I won a diaper cover from you I think!? Let’s see- I now have 5 kids- 4 boys and baby girl. No one threw up today BUT my daughter peed in the doll house toy box! So washed barbies and wooden cutout things… ya know- FUN! So there ya go! Glad your back!!!

  114. Allison says:

    Oh, I haven’t realized just how much I have missed you! Welcome back!

  115. Theresa says:

    So excited for you with the move and the balance and the ability to trust your followers enough to add “suck it” in your reunion post! So excited for me that new Crappy Pictures will be around to keep me company when I’m up with the baby in the middle of the night pondering life’s mysteries and watching One Direction sing the “U” song for Sesame Street (have you heard it? it’s awful and catchy and the video is so awkward, but I’m not judging at 2am.)

    Welcome back, you were missed!

  116. Hayley says:

    So happy you’re back! I have been following you on Instagram all this time, and I love it! But I miss the funny and the crappy pictures! 😁

  117. Andrea says:

    Wow. It has been a long time. Glad you didn’t give up on what makes you happy.

  118. Isabelle says:

    Welcome back!!! ( waving from Germany! – Yes, that country in Europe!) So glad to see you again, missed you!
    Moved from UK to Germany for a bit. Kids are growing like weeds – 2 and 7.
    Cheers!
    X

  119. Lidia says:

    I’m so glad you’re back!!! Thank you for starting up the blog again!!! I missed reading it!!! I like exclamation points!!!

  120. Lyn C says:

    I’m so excited you are back. I don’t think I’ve ever actually commented before, but I’m a long-time lurker from across the pond. My daughter turns 7 in two weeks and my son is 4 1/2. He was diagnosed with ASD last year so noone sleeps through the night here – he’s too busy shouting “Wake Up Tellytubbies!” and “it’s time for Mickey Mouse Clubhouse!!!!” in our ears during the wee small hours. Still, a year ago he wasn’t talking much at all, so that’s progress and for everything else there’s wine. How’s that for unexpected overshare? I blame the wine. It makes me chatty too.

  121. Christy S-S says:

    Yay!!! I’m so glad to see this. Welcome (back ) to the modwesr from Ohio! My oldest turned 13 this summer *gasp*

  122. Melissa says:

    So happy you’re back! I missed you! And I am super excited that you live right here in Wisconsin, too! I’m in Green Bay.

  123. Andrea says:

    Yeah! I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering if you’d be back. Why was I thinking about you? Because I discovered that my 9-year old keeps your Parenting book on her nightstand to read, she loves it so much (hmm, not sure it is all appropriate…)

    Last place one of my kids threw up? In my car, on the way to school last week. 🙁

    Welcome back and congrats on the move. I moved from Los Angeles to Sweden 14 years ago, and STILL the number one question is “How do you cope with the weather? Doesn’t it get cold there?” Aagghhh.

  124. Kristin says:

    I can’t tell you how much this just made my day.

    I’ve missed your crappy family!

  125. Jennifer Curzon says:

    So glad you are back! My kids are 7 and 9. I feel like it only gets harder and harder, I need your humor in my life!

  126. Cassandra says:

    Yay, you’re back! I am super excited to see more posts from you. And I love the items in your Etsy shop. I much prefer seeing you write about that than allowing ads on your site. Ads make me angry!

  127. Katie says:

    I was so excited to see you pop up on my news feed on FB! I’ve missed reading your crappy posts! So glad you’re back, but also so happy for you that you hit the pause button. I think more of us need to do that!

  128. Jennifer Curzon says:

    I’m so glad your fashion sense remains crappy. 🙂
    #sayyestothepurpledress

  129. Kathryn says:

    Oh my gosh, I am so happy!!! I have been wanting you to return for so long and now it’s happening! You got me through so many baby experiences and now my babies aren’t babies anymore – they’re 7 and 10 – what?!?! But I also managed to get knocked up with a surprise so I’ll have another baby around Thanksgiving and will get to start all over with the fun while trying to catch my breath with the olders. Good times! Can’t wait to laugh with this community again!

  130. Guenevere says:

    Hello from Neenah! Welcome to WI! 😉
    So glad you’re back to blogging! 🎉👍🏻

  131. Kara says:

    Welcome back!!!!!! Cannot wait to hear all about your new adventures!

  132. Diana says:

    Yay!! Missed you but totally understand!! So glad you are back!!

  133. Amanda Momma says:

    Yay!!! Crappy pictures!! My wiggles are 9 and twins are 6! My baby-maker got taken out and life is so much better without hormones! No moving, but dealing with kids is the same but different. So glad you are back!

  134. Victoria says:

    Oh I’m soooo glad to see you back. My kids are 5 and 4 and I’m now a single mum. I’ve been coping by following a seriously funny sort of UK vesrion of you and I mean that in the most complimentary way…
    It’s called Hurrah for Gin. Please look it up on Facebook. She does silly drawings too and talks about motherhood and makes me piss
    Myself laughing.

    Was thinking about you the other day and I could never get into instagram so very, very glad to hear what you are up to.
    Big love from the UK – also winning on the crappy weather front x

  135. Louise says:

    Yay! You’re back! I moved too. From England to Zimbabwe. How’s that for crazy? The weather’s better here though.

  136. Darcie says:

    OMG, was just thinking about you the other day, and wondering what ever happened to you! So nice to “see” you!! Looking forward to some funny stories about your no-so-littles. Mine are 8 and 11 🙂

  137. Nicole says:

    So glad you are back, you have been missed friend!

  138. Tina says:

    I am so excited to see you again!!! Kids are 14, 10, and 6. Lord help me with the other female in the house she is all sass and just like me. 6 going on 16! Last thing I ate was a ham sandwich. Last thing that puked on was my husband’s truck, booster seat, sons t-shirt, tablet, and my favorite water bottle. We were an hour and a half away from home. Ugh! We have been crazy busy Football, football, gymnastics, work, injured dog, kids almost started my moms cabin on fire. Long story. Husband and I almost started same cabin on fire with flames 25 ft long ( yes long not high) storm came upon us with in 15 mins of putting 2 huge logs on the fire. Strait line winds off the lake right towards the house. Looting rain but not enough to put out fire. Filled buckets in tub to dump on flames. Scary scary day. Child ate Mint Oreos and ketchup, because she thought that my daughter was doing it and had to taste. Yep we live a crazy life. No moves. Enjoy WI. MN born and raised and still here! Look forward to more wine, tears and laughs with you!!

  139. Jill says:

    I’m so happy that you are writing and feeling creative for all of us again!!! I love reading your stories and laughing and crying through parenthood with you. I’m ahead of you in that arena (my two are 19 and 17 years old…. my baby is a senior in high school), in fact they kind of resemble that first picture of your boys, except that one is a girl… hahahaha! I’ve thoroughly enjoyed getting to”know” you on Instagram during your pause. Welcome home. (From a New England fan… where people also fret about the weather. I LOVE my four seasons!)

  140. Sarah Jane says:

    Hey!! So glad to see you’re back!! Big move woohoo!

    So the littles I had when I first followed you religiously are now 9 & 6, plus I have an 8 month old now too!! On the hard days when he was newborn and the kids were at school and I was losing my mind, I would pop over here and re-read all your posts. They are just as funny the fourth time around as the first.

    I just got engaged yesterday too!!! My man proposed during a family portrait session and it was so romantic and beautiful! So now I get to plan a wedding with 3 kids hahaha thank goodness you’re back to save my sanity at least a little bit lol.

    Big hugs to you and the crappy family xo
    Sarah Jane

    • Sarah Jane says:

      Oh and the last place 2 of my kids threw up was the bowling alley. All over the floor each time. I told the middle child to try not to make it a hatrick or they will ban us for life hahahaha!!

    • amber says:

      Congrats on getting engaged!!!

  141. J. Stahl says:

    Yay! You’re back!

  142. Janel says:

    omg, I am so glad you’re back. I am now going to get a glass of wine in your honor (Sort of – I was going to get one anyway, but now it’s extra special.) My boys are now 3 and 6. God, I am so glad you’re back.

  143. Karen Friend says:

    This week just kept getting shittier and shittier and now you are here to save the day. No pressure but YAY!

  144. Laura says:

    This is so bizarre. I must be psychic. I was JUST thinking about this blog a day or two ago, and wondering what you were up to and where you’ve been! And then voila! There you are! I’m excited! Welcome back 🙂

  145. Kari says:

    Wow, you have been missed! Are you really going to read through all of these responses?! I thought of you and wondered how you were a couple weeks ago as I put my daughter’s pink t-shirt on her… The one that says “I can because I do.” Love that shirt. I’m so so glad you’re back.
    P.S. Good job on not moving to IL. The taxes suck here.

  146. Sarah says:

    Welcome back! Now for the important stuff. Last thing my kid puked on was his plate. In a restaurant. Because we wanted him to take a few more bites of the macaroni that he begged for. It was “icky” (read: not boxed) so he gagged himself. He’s 7, not 2. Sigh. Parenting is awesome.

  147. TriciaS says:

    Just sayin’ – so happy to have you back online!

  148. Jessica says:

    I’m so excited you’re back! We moved this year too (NC to California) and things have finally settled down 🙂

  149. jo says:

    yay! i have missed you. i am jealous your kids are sleeping through the night. my kids are the same age as yours (at least they were when you paused, so..) and they still sneak in and pull on my toes in the wee small hours.
    so good to see your drawings again.. can’t wait for more.

  150. Birgit says:

    Glad you are back. I’ve moved to the country too. Went SF to suburban MD and now out to the Eastern Shore. Looking forward to more Crappy Pictures!

  151. Keesha says:

    Yay! So excited to see you are back. Your posts are such a bright spot in my day. And one of the only blog posts I actually read all of.

  152. Kristin says:

    OMG, how long has it been?? I can’t even remember! I’ve missed your posts!! I have three boys who are now 9,8, and 6. All in school!!!! Now all are also in Cub Scouts, I’m the middle ones den leader. I’m also a fellow chicken lady, who moved from Washington to Texas 9 years ago.

  153. Robin Fordham says:

    Hey, I moved from Maryland to Wisconsin in my early twenties. I became so proud of how I managed the cold (and so judgemental about how people in DC dress for cold weather, like as if their life didn’t depend on it!). Then I decided to move to Minnesota. How much colder could it be, I asked!! Indeed, a lot f-ing colder. A lot.

    Now I live in Western MA, where I rarely wear long underwear as a required base layer. And I can feel a little bit proud when people complain about the cold weather. “Cold?” I say. “You don’t know from cold!”

    Glad to see you in my inbox again.

  154. Tisa says:

    Yay! Glad your back. Your book is on my coffee table and kept me in stitches while you were gone!

  155. Cher says:

    Missed you! Welcome back to the Midwest! And happy to “see” you, no matter how often or not we run into each other. <3

  156. Cheri says:

    8 years ago we moved from South Florida to the Appleton-ish area just a few days before Christmas, with very little kids. Everyone thought we were crazy too. We haven’t regretted it for a second.

  157. Amber says:

    I have moved twice since I started following you, and I hate moving. Our boys are about the same age, so I can’t wait for some funny twists parenting. You’re sense of humor has been missed by myself and many of my friends. (Ps, please do another calendar!)

  158. Amanda Reed says:

    Wow.. how long has it been? How old were my kids when last we spoke? lol My youngest is 11, teens are coming up on birthdays next month and will be 15 and 17… My oldest is a Senior this year.. graduating in the spring. What the even heck is that about? Um, let’s see… we moved, too. We got out of renting and finally purchased our own house. We moved to the tiny village where my husband grew up, on the outskirts of beautiful Traverse City, Michigan. Funny how people assume that if we live “way up there” we must have igloos and dog sleds.
    There’s more… my husband changed entire careers.. gone into the world of computers and technology and is loving it. And just this week, I was hired for my first out-of-the-home job since 2002. Yeah.. going back to work. Been a heck of a year!

    Glad you’re back!

    • amber says:

      That’s a lot! Congrats on the job. I’ve been wanting to explore Michigan more, my cousin lives there. Though I’m disappointed that there is a lack of igloos.

  159. Lisa B. says:

    I’m so happy you’re back!

  160. Elizabeth says:

    I hardly ever read my email anymore, and I follow blogs even less frequently, but when I saw the notification of your post in my inbox, I jumped at it! I’m so excited! I did just read your post, but I was a little distracted by Moana playing behind me… so I’ll have a second read later.

    My life is so different now, although when I try to explain what’s different, it doesn’t sound like much to anyone else. No big moves like you’ve had. But my daughter has become my very best little pal instead of just the semi-communicative, sunshiny toddler that I have to take care of. I am slowed down by chronic illnesses which have me in quite a bit of pain, and prevent me from doing a LOT that I would normally do. But I’m more myself than I’ve ever been, and I am searching for some creative outlets of my own that let me do what I enjoy without it eating up what little energy I have. Hoping I can find my balance just as you’re doing. 🙂

    All in all, life is beautiful, and I’m delighted to see your post!

    • amber says:

      Balance is the holy grail of parenting/creativity/self-care. All of it. I love what you wrote about your daughter becoming a pal. That really is what it is like as they grow older. It’s wonderful.

  161. Wren says:

    AA! Yay! Also OMG did your beer-drinking and car-driving drawing scare the pants off me. You got me good! Looking forward to looking forward to hearing and seeing more of your always-smile-inducing work.

  162. spencer says:

    Woohoo!
    My girls are 7 and 10 and full of sass.
    They love your book, which migrates around the house. My older daughter especially loves to remind me about the time the PENIS delivery guy came to the door, ha ha ha ha. Giggling like a fiend as she tells me the story again. And again.
    Cause we’re all about using real terms for our anatomy, right?
    Glad you’re back!

  163. Brooke Walsh says:

    Native to San Diego, have lived and raised kids in MN for 10+ years, first time commenter. You are 100% accurate about people and their view of the weather. If I had $1 for every person who has said “but why would you move from San Diego here?!” As their opening remark when meeting me, I could take a really nice vacation to San Diego.

    Welcome back.

  164. JJ Worden says:

    I used to lock myself in the bathroom in London so I could sit on the potty and read you while 2 babies wailed and wondered where I was. Now I do the same thing, but in Connecticut, and different babies because the other ones grew up a little and don’t look for me when I’m on the potty anymore, I have two newer ones for that. Xoxo JJ

    • Becca says:

      Random person telling you that you are so lucky your kids grew out of that phase!!! My 9, 11 & 14 year olds still find me and bug me in the bathroom. Unless I’m showering. Then I have my music up too loud to hear them.

  165. Christine Jacobsen says:

    Wow! I have moved to rural Wisconsin, too! Never thought I would actually live here when I read your much earlier posts about Wisconsin.

  166. Melissa says:

    Wow, so glad to see you back! We just moved out of Wisconsin 6 weeks ago (after living there our whole lives) to……Scotland! My company any asked me to go, so hubby and I packed up our own Crappy Boy and Crappy Baby (who IS still in diapers) and crossed an ocean. Looking forward to more crappy posts!

    • Alex says:

      We moved from MN to France last year with our two kids who are now 7 and almost 10. We live with my parents while my mom goes through cancer treatment.

      Anyway, we are almost kinda neighbors 🙂 except you spell it neighbours now.

  167. Merryn says:

    I saw this is my email in box and got so excited! Welcome back! Remember that we will always let you back into California whenever you want.

  168. Amber Talbott says:

    OMG you made my day. I open up my email after a long day and BAM! You’re there. I’m so glad you’re back. Yay!

  169. Becca says:

    Welcome back! I’m excited to see more adventures.

  170. Ruth Kerr says:

    You put a smile on my face in Australia! I’m enjoying a growing bunch of not so crappy grandchildren – 9 going on 13 in number! Looking forward to more illustrated hilarity.

  171. Kate Wilson says:

    Yay! Since your blog has been paused I decided to find out what all the hub bub is about these “kid” things and have one of my own! Now I have a Crappy Boy (toddler edition) to call my own. Of course he’s a handful, but he’s hysterical. I think I’ll keep him.

  172. emily says:

    Oh, I am so glad you are back! Wow. I had been afraid something terrible had happened to you, but I am thrilled to see that’s not true.
    And YARN! You’re a knitter!

    My kids are grown now and throw in private(I assume). My granddaughters are drifting into (shudder) puberty and the perils of junior high school. I so wish you had been around when I was raising little ones. It was pretty scary for me. I was certain I was doing it wrong, all the time.

  173. malegna says:

    Yay! Welcome back! I have missed you so. You blog has always been a lovely little ray of sunshine on some very hard days early on in my parenting journey and I was so happy and grateful when I found it. My son is now 6 (“almost seven Mum!”) and although we haven’t moved my partner is just about to move in with us! I am so happy that you are back and will have a wine to celebrate tonight 🙂

  174. Ashley says:

    My heart skipped a beat when I saw you had posted!

  175. Julia says:

    WELCOME BACK! We have missed you so! I moved to the midwest too (Michigan). Last thing that was thrown up on in my house was EVERYTHING. The cat just throws up constantly.

  176. Amy says:

    Welcome back! I look forward to following your adventures.

    My kids are 8 (almost 9) and 5. We live in California. I follow a few blogs, but I have missed yours since you went on pause. I’m glad it was only a pause and not a “quit forever” thing.

  177. I’m so glad you’re back!
    Since you left I’ve had two novels published and I’m working full-time as a writer (mostly with interactive fiction—it’s like Choose Your Own Adventure novels, but digital phone apps instead of physical books—which I adore AND get paid for). It’s mostly steampunk fantasy set in Australia (so, colonial era history but with corsets and magic).
    My kids are 5 and 3. Miss 5 wants to be a spy when she grows up, and Mr 3 wants to “vacuum, like Daddy”.

    • amber says:

      I had no idea interactive fiction was even a thing (my kids love Choose Your Own Adventure books) and I’m so intrigued now!

  178. Shannon Shanely says:

    YAY!! I was just re-reading your crappy marriage book yesterday…which was the day you re-surfaced AND it was my birthday so you are one of the best birthday gifts I’ve had in a while 🙂 We have moved too…from urban flat lands into the rural mountains…and it has sucked ass sometimes, but I am slowly adjusting (cause kids just jump in and go…need to be more like them). Thanks for sharing a glass of wine with us! Can’t wait to read more and YAY crappy art <3

  179. You just made my day 😁 So excited to see an email letting me know Crappy Pictures is back. I’ve missed you!

  180. Karina says:

    Glad you’re back! As for us, we live in Tampa, Florida. Survived a hurricane, sent my oldest to college across the country two days before the storm hit! My husband is traveling for work a lot so my boys go crazy when dad is out of town and my 4 year old is a nose bleeder! 😧…..one good thing is that today I discovered that PDQ has the best Apple Pie Shake I’ve ever had in my life!!

  181. Bricia says:

    So, we moved from Arkansas to Austin, TX. No more babies here! Just the 23yo, who went on a two year mission to Colombia (yes, South America. The one with the drug lords and all! He says it’s not so bad lol)
    And we BOUGHT our very first house EVER!!! So, so very glad you’re back… Although, I stalk, I mean, follow you on IG l, I have missed you on here. Cheers!! ** clink

  182. Erin says:

    Holy crap! I was just thinking today how I hadn’t heard from your blog and wondered where you were. I just got an email that you posted. It looks like it was yesterday, so I can’t explain the email delay.

    I’ve had another kid and my older is in 1st grade. We don’t really KNOW each other, but I was the lucky purchaser of some crashy cards, a few of which I STILL have because I have saved them for the most perfect occasions, given their exclusivity.

    But hell I feel like I could beyond real friend, and I’ve actually sent links of your blogs to friends. Timeless. Like how pets become just pets when you have kids. Or the car seat monster that eats toddler butts. Or possessed toys. So many favorites. Cheers to you, and I hope you guys stocked up on coats and boots because I hear it’s cold in Wisconsin.

  183. Susan Harper says:

    OMG (sniff sniff) I HAVE (sniff sniff, chug) MISSED YOU (SOB chug burp) SO FREAKING MUCH. (glug glug – gotta refill) DON’T EVER (weep slurp sob chug) LEAVE ME AGAIN (weep, sniff, snort, chug). YOU’RE MY BEST (sob clink smooshy hug) FRIEND IN THE WHOLE (sniff) WIDE (sniff) W-W-W-WORLD!!!!

    Seriously, though. Welcome back. And glad you’re in a happy place. 🙂

  184. AngelaPA says:

    Oh I’m so happy to see even one cartoon! Congrats on the move and I hope you are finding time to relax and enjoy it. I just came across your book as I was cleaning my family room Monday evening (it is on an end table there always!) and thought of you. Maybe you got that vibe!

    LOVE your posts and can’t wait to see more when you are feeling that urge to share an experience with us!

  185. Jena, The Fat Girl says:

    YAY! YOU ARE BACK (ish)!

    We also have moved, and now Fat Baby is Barely-Thick 5yo (#jealous).

    He has also become a bit of a bully at school, and Fat Hubby, I, Teacher Bestie, and the 9-teacher (I kid you not) tiger team at school are jumping through hoops to wrangle him into something resembling a regular human citizen. With mixed results.

    So, if any crappy parents have advice on how to de-bully-fy a crappy kindergartener, I’d love to hear!

  186. Sandra says:

    Pop in when you want. It was a delight to find you in my ‘in’ box. My summer has been kinda crappy as well, as I have two 20 something single kids who just had temporary ostomy surgeries so they don’t drop dead of cancer, and about due for reconnect surgery this fall. I personally think of you often, as with your humor, you’ll be able to draw through a lifetime if you so desire. If you hadn’t already taken the idea, I’d seriously consider giving you a run for your money with the crappy drawings, but I’ll just continue on with my FB posts and Jett (the grandson) and Jax (the furball). They have quite a following. Nice to ‘see’ you. 🙂

    • amber says:

      Healing wishes to your kids. Two of my extended family members have had ostomy surgery (one for crohn’s & one for ulceritive colitis which run rampant in my family) and it’s rough.

  187. Tash says:

    I’m sitting here drinking a chocolate liqueur that my mom gave me. It’s delicious! Like drinking an alcoholic milkshake. *cheers*

    I’m glad you’re back! I’ve always enjoyed your posts.

    The last thing thrown up on in my house was the kitchen floor. My little (5) hasn’t figured out that he should call me from over the toilet, rather than come find me when he needs to vomit. My oldest is 10. How did the double digits sneak up on me???

    I’ve also moved, but to a safer, quieter neighbourhood in a town an hour away from where I was. I’m closer to family now, and appreciate the support that I can now take advantage of 🙂

    Welcome back 🙂

    • amber says:

      EXACT same puke story here last week, they always run to me, not to the bathroom. (Which is sweet, really. But gross.)

  188. Liz says:

    So glad you are back!

  189. Amy says:

    Alot has changed for us too. My kids are now 13, 11 and 5. I joined the military and we moved from Nova Scotia to Ontario this summer.

  190. Jen says:

    FINALLY!! We have missed you!!

  191. Ashley says:

    Omg!! I’m so happy to see you back! When I got the notification email, I actually squealed out loud and my husband came running thinking there was a spider 😂😂😂 we had a new baby this year, so still in the thick of breastfeeding and diapering and washing laundry and not sleeping and wrapping him on my body all day, errr day. We also moved, but just from one side of the big city to the other side. It’s a good life. I’m excited to hear your stories.

  192. SLTA says:

    YAY YAY YAY!!! Welcome home!!!

    I’m just on the other side from you – realizing the stuck – so hearing today that it can come unstuck is SO LOVELY.

  193. Bob says:

    ‘Miles from Wisconsin (Christchurch, NZ), don’t have any kids, (retired), but I love your blog and SO happy to see you back!

  194. Christy F says:

    Yay! Welcome back! How’s that weather there in Wisconsin? Does it get cold there? 😂😂 when you move from California to Oregon, everyone just wants to tell you how much it rains lol (which is not true in all parts of the state btw ;)) I just treated myself to a peach orange passion fruit green iced tea and took my kids rock hunting. So fun. Usually we don’t do things this cool, so don’t get the wrong idea 😉 I’m pretty sure the last thing that got puked on was me? Not unusual lol Anyway, you were missed! ❤

  195. SP says:

    Super Crappy reunion! <3 o/\o

  196. Tina says:

    Yayyy we are in Wisconsin, milw area. My girls are now 12 and 8!

  197. Shannan says:

    It’s so funny, I literally checked this blog not three days ago and wondered what happened to you, now here you are! I can’t wait to hear what you have to say. Your posts have always been my favorite parenting blog because you just GET IT, with great humor.

    I’ve got a six year old girl in first grade who STILL won’t go to sleep without me, a bigger house in a better neighborhood, got roped into the PTO and found out today that I didn’t get a job I really wanted. But I keep trucking on in this crappy life, because what else are we going to do?

  198. I’M SO EXCITED YOU’RE BACK!!!! I’ve noses you. We got a puppy that in training as my daughter’s service dog. And all four of my kids were diagnosed on the autism spectrum. The last thing that was thrown up on was the dog’s bed and floor, by the dog. I think it was pretty considerate of her to do it where I could easily clean up. Threw out the bed and wiped up the floor.
    Can’t wait to see what you’ve been up to!

  199. Lisa says:

    Glad to have you back. You’re image of your kids now was particularly funny for me since now mine are 22, 17, & 15. Glad to hear you are doing well!

  200. Di says:

    I’m so glad to have this crap back in my life! We’ve missed you! I just secretly ate some McD while my 7yo takes a skateboarding class. Are you still homeschooling? We are! That is my inspiration these days. So much fun. As for new news, I just did my first mystery-shop ever… at an ice skating rink. Lol! Paid to go ice skating on a weekday morning. Now that’s the life! Welcome back. And I’m glad your crappy shop is back. ❤️❤️❤️

  201. Jackie says:

    Missed you and your crappy family! So glad you’re back!

  202. Julie says:

    Yay you’re back! Last thing thrown up on in our house was our bedroom carpet around 3am, night before last, when my 8 year old woke us up to tell us he needed to throw up. Sigh.

  203. Brandee Hiller says:

    I’m so happy you’re back! While you’ve been away my first kiddo turned 5 and is in preschool, and i had another baby! 🙂 and since i live in Minnesota, i wont ask/tell you about the weather.

  204. Lauren says:

    Yayyy!!! You’re back!! I’m so happy you and your family are doing well!!! While you were on pause, I went and had a couple babies! When I first started reading your blog, I was just a weird girl who loved reading mommy blogs! And now I’m a mommy to a rambunctious 22 month old and a 1 week old little newbie! I can’t wait read from this new perspective as a parent!

  205. Jemma says:

    Yay! So excited that Crappy Pics is back. When I started reading your blog I was years into a TTC marathon and now I have a one year old son! So I bet I am going to relate on a whole new level now. Hmm, maybe I should go back and re-read all your toddler posts to mentally prepare…

  206. Lea Carlton says:

    Hello! I grew up in Minnesota, and moved back here with my son when he was 3 1/2 from MIAMI. It was a no-brainer for us, but yes, my friends are STILL confused, and like you said, three years later are still warning me about the weather, as they mad dash out to Georgia for another hurricane. Crazy!

  207. Becka says:

    You’re back! And on taco day!! Best. Day. Ever!!

  208. Angie says:

    Get ready this is gross!My dog threw up —in my bed in the middle of the night—on my comforter right in between my husband and I sleeping at the head of the bed—i felt something wet on my arm but I rolled over and went back to sleep. In the morning. I realized it’s my other dog must have licked up most of the barf but then I had to clean the entire king size bed sheets pillowcases and comforter. My kids were like why ru crazy washing my everything in one shot? (I usually do it on two days since it’s so large) and I didn’t have the umph to tell them what happened!

    EW!! I disgusted myself but that’s how friggin tired my husband and I are!

    Have a blessed day!
    Angie

  209. Katie says:

    I love you!

  210. Laurie Woodfin says:

    Add me to all the others who are beyond excited that you are back for whatever time/circumstances you can post! Unicorn Farckles!!!

  211. Mary says:

    Yayyyyyy youreback! I’m in Northeastern WI! Hello!!!

  212. Gillian says:

    So very happy you are back and more than happy to drink wine with you. My oldest two are now nine and six, but two months after you paused I had another who is now, of course, two.

  213. Sherri says:

    Soooo excited to see you back!! And your artwork is super cute too!! Cheers!!

  214. You are BACK!

    BEST CRAPPY NEWS EVAH!!!!

  215. Shannon says:

    The last one to throw up in my house was the cat. She threw up on my son’s Nerf shotgun. I’m glad u r back. I’m hoping u r well.

  216. Sanj says:

    Hooray – you’re back! Hopefully you’re weathering life well in that super cold weather-filled place that I fly over every time I go between US coasts. Look up and I’ll look down next time so we can wave. Kid & grandkids are fun! Our oldest cat died, we rescued a dog, and everyone is happy and playful. Except that one cat.

  217. Sara R says:

    Yay a Wisconsin! I’m in Sheboygan but my parents and sisters are in the Hillsboro/Elroy area. Yes there’s the ‘weather’ but I love having 4 seasons. Welcome back home 😉

    • amber says:

      I was just visiting Sheboygan (my aunt lives there) and since when did it get so cool and hip? I don’t remember it at all like that back in, oh the late 1990s! Anyway, really like it.

  218. Michelle says:

    Welcome back! My two kids are 8 and 7 now, close to your kids’ age I think. I moved from Los Angeles to Boston 28 years ago and my brother is moving from Northern California to Nothern Michigan this very moment. So that’s two other crazy Californians who have moved to colder climates. I admit I do miss California weather but I like having 4 seasons. I just wish winter was shorter. I don’t mind the snow but it’d be great if I could have a longer fall and spring and just 1 month of winter.

  219. Jess says:

    OMGosh I’m so glad you’re back! I’ve missed your posts. Hope the move went well, and looking forward to hearing about the Crappy Family (pets included) again.

  220. Ali says:

    SO glad you are back! Love all your stories! Kids are big too, 10, 8 & 6. We are in the same ole place, but love it. Went to Wisconsin this summer for the first time ever. For work, so really didn’t get to see much. It was pretty where we were in Pleasant Prairie and nice weather for 1st week in August.
    Welcome back! Can’t wait for these stories!

  221. Missus Webster says:

    Welcome back! I love your posts whatever you decide to write about. 🙂

    Since you paused, my oldest got married (Star Wars wedding complete with Lightsabres) my middle turned 18, and my youngest who delights in reading these with me, is just a hair older than yours.

    He’s looking forward to his mustache coming in, so he doesn’t have to explain to people he’s a boy – with a ponytail. *sigh* Let’s hope he’s patient.

  222. jillsmo says:

    Yes, actually. We ARE two old friends who haven’t seen each other in ages but can just have glasses of wine and pick up where we left off. Red or white? <3

  223. Stephanie says:

    Sooooo glad you’re back! My oldest daughter somehow discovered your old stuff recently! She sent it to me all excited! I almost didn’t have the heart to tell her I’d been a follower for ages but you had, sadly, disappeared a while back. Welcome back!

  224. Ryan says:

    We’ve been fans forever. Happy to hear you’ve joined us here in WI. Welcome.

  225. Lizz says:

    Welcome back! My sister got me hooked on your posts right before you hit the pause button, so I’ve been hoping & praying for you’d be back! Yay! ❤️

  226. JS MacF says:

    Glad you are back! Read your post with a lil wine. No explanations for creative behaviors necessary! 😉

    • JSMacF says:

      Kids are big. We too are now diaper free. Also the last one to throw up was me after the dog ate her own poop and barfed it up again.
      Yup.

  227. Sandy Cooper says:

    “If anyone is put off by the idea of an artist wanting to make money for what they create you can go ahead and suck it.”

    Best disclaimer ever.

  228. Tobi Henschel says:

    When I first started reading (and loving!) your blog, I was a new mom of a baby boy living in northern WI. I’ve since moved to central IL and now have three boys: 6, 4 and 2. I’m so glad you’re back! And selfishly, I’m glad you’re back in the midwest because the midwest is awesome!

  229. SL says:

    SO excited to see you back. My kids are 6 and 9 now, and we have been through a really tough year, with my son being diagnosed with a major chronic genetic condition that caused one of his organs to stop working (one that is necessary all the time for everything). It has been a long road to learning how to basically be his life support for him day and night and I still struggle with it. So much pressure and change and sadness and growth. Some humor will do me lots of good so thanks for signing back on!!

  230. Ronalee Duncan says:

    Welcome back !
    My kids are grown. My youngest is 28 and going through a bad break up. There is no way to help your baby when they have a broken heart.
    I just want her to be four again, puking in the car on the way to dance class.

  231. Carrie says:

    During the pause, some of my most favorite crappy fb posts that I had shared in the past (the toilet seat!) showed up in my memories, and it would make me sad. Glad to hear things are good and I am happy you’re back 🙂 I have both books I keep at work and everyone loves them! I look forward to sharing more posts and books!!!

  232. anne biggar says:

    Welcome back! I missed you!!

  233. Becky says:

    Ahhh! I live in ca now, am not from here, and I fantasize about moving to Wisconsin! It’s like we are the same person…. but you are funnier!

  234. phyllisbrowne45 says:

    Welcome Back!!! This news makes my day. Thank you. I grew up in Manitowoc on Lake Michigan. Even though the current government sucks, Wisconsin is still a great state with great people. For those who freak about the weather, gimme a break-that weather is one of the reasons why you don’t mess with people from Wisconsin. We are polite AND we can handle anything and We will!.

  235. Jane Curran says:

    Glad you’re back!

  236. Wendy says:

    Yay! You’re back! I love the new post and I love your wood craft art and I’m so excited for you to find balance!

  237. Chris says:

    Yaaaaaaaaay!
    In answer to the questions:
    9&7; not recently, but I moved from England to Australia about 14 years ago and had a few similar weather related conversations, plus lethal animal related conversations; cool data visualisations; mint slice biscuits which I munched on while reading your post; I think it was my daughter, it caught her by surprise as it was the first time it had happened to her and she spewed over a reasonable percentage of the bathroom (so glad we went with tiles!).

  238. Meri says:

    Welcome back! I’ve missed you guys!!!

  239. amy says:

    I AM SO EXCITED THAT YOU ARE BACK!!!!!! And I CANNOT WAIT to hear everything! Your thoughts about your new life and your kids and the world in general. I knew I missed you but I didn’t realize exactly how much until just now seeing how happy I am to hear from you!!!! Sadly, there is no update on my part. I didn’t move (though I want to) and no one has thrown up ALL YEAR. Oh except the dog — we got a dog and that is both the best thing ever and very annoying. OK that’s it — LOVE YOU SO MUCH. XOXO

  240. Alice Rudin says:

    So Glad you are publishing the blog again! I’ve missed you!

  241. Heather says:

    I have always enjoyed your blog and look forward to more. Thanks!

  242. Jill Morgan says:

    It took me a looooooong time to scroll through all those comments to add my own. You will probably never read this, but I still feel compelled. I love, love, loved Crappy Pictures, and have been following your journeys and creations and ponderings on Instagram. I thoroughly enjoy them. A very different side of you. This blog is like the snarkier, funnier, slightly drunker version of your IG. 🙂 I love them both.

    I too moved from California, just two years ago, but to Portland, OR. I don’t weave, dye, raise chickens, or can. But I totally would, some day. “There is time for everything, just not all at once.”

    • amber says:

      I’m reading it! I read all the comments. Yes, absolutely different sides. Instagram is my warm fuzzy place while here is…non-edited? Non-censored maybe? You don’t weave, dye, raise chickens or can? Hasn’t Portland kicked you out yet? I thought those were residency requirements. (I love Portland.)

  243. Gina Kitchens says:

    I’m happy to see you back, and look forward to more giggles with crappy art.
    As for me, I went through a crappy divorce, had to sell my house, live in a crappy tiny apartment (ok, it has a gym and a year round indoor pool, so that makes it cool in my son’s eyes), my son is almost to the car key age and I started college because some day I have to be a grown up and work a crappy job, to earn money to eat.
    There, all caught up! Missed you and glad you are back!

  244. OntheWander says:

    I am so looking forward to your new posts, I recommended you to all my cousins, who had kids after me, and then you fell off the face of the earth. LOL such is life. I understand the waning creative push. I’m in that mode now.

    I grew up in the Northwest, and I moved to the north east in 2001- i’ve visited a besty in Wisconsin, and who cares about the snow? I live on Cape Cod everybody’s freaked out about hurricanes, who cares about the hurricanes? We all have flood insurance, and we get through it. Drink more wine, it’s fun! lol!!

    My kids are 11, 8 and 6. We haven’t had a throw up bug in a while, but I’m sure this reply dooms me, thanks for that. 😆

    Moved? I’m pretty sure I’ve done it twice a year ( A few times 3 times) since 2003 so I think I have everybody killed on that point … we live on Cape Cod, so the five of us move out in the spring and move back in and September .. (since 2003, i have moved 32+times, during the birth of my three kids… ). I have done that, and I might just stay with experience it fucking sucks… but we’re selling rental property, and looking forward to no moves in 2018.

    Most importantly, we’re so glad you’re back, glad you’re in Wisconsin, and you’re going to have a heavy winter. Will all enjoy it together in the snow, because it means a little more family interaction, a little less breaking a part of the family due to outside opportunities and etc… more family fun nights because that’s all there is!!

  245. Jordan says:

    Are there Targets in rural Wisconsin?! Jk im sure there are 😉 im so glad youre crappy blogging again! thank you for being so open and lovely and inspiring. big hugs to you from this old friend!

    Btw last thing i ate was kielbasa and rice

  246. Lizelle says:

    We moved but not thay possitive move….we arr stayong with my parrnts-in-law till we can financially afford to move again. Terrible yes! Hard! I so tired….not being able to charge my batteries. BUT we are happy and frateful. Kids are beautiful and frowing up fast!!

  247. Esotericas says:

    I think I might have last read a post from you over 3 years ago, when I was I was still in a decade long relationship. While that has ended and I don’t have kids, I’m still Auntie to the my ex’s nieces and nephews. Your posts often enchanted me and made me think of their parents’ very real lives. I can’t tell you how surreal it is for a part of my life from my decade long relationship to suddenly appear again.

  248. Jenni says:

    So glad you’re back! Me, I had a third baby. She’s 8 weeks and it’s a little insane but SO much better than when I just had two and the second was tiny. Because of all the personal growth and stuff.

  249. Lieke van Zeeland says:

    Welcome back! Still in The Netherlands, which as a whole country is possibly just as big as the state of Wisconsin… So didn’t move but I moved ON, which is just as spectacular. The boys are 5 and 3 now, meaning one day the kinder garten teacher called in panic about the youngest one that he almost bit his tongue in half and a week later the school teacher of the oldest called to say he jabbed a large pricking pin (wouldn’t know what else to call it in English, it’s for crafts to prick out drawings from paper) into his upper leg. So, that’s where we are. O, and of course them telling us how stupid we are not letting them have candy for breakfast/watch YouTube all day/making them eat their dinner/etc.

  250. Jo says:

    Delighted you’re back! And as all our kids have grown older (mine are 8 and 6) your stories will still resonate! Looking forward to more hilarity from the crappy family! (And we’ll done to you for working out your priorities the past couple of years x) (And if anyone’s stinky about you selling your art then they are the stinky ones. Wake up people!)

  251. Angie D says:

    YEAH! I have been thinking about you off and on wondering-where the hell did ya go?!
    My crappy kids are crappy as ever. They do make me laugh though-always commenting on my boobs and how squishy and ginourmous they are (as they squish squishy) then the little man who is only in diapers at night asks if they still have milk in them-to which I reply no and he says “They look like they do” as he runs off in his birthday suit trying to jump on his sisters. Need to get unstuck-I’ve got plenty of ice or peanut butter-whatever it is to get gum out of hair. 🙂

  252. Alexander Cheung says:

    The awaited day has come!

  253. Alexander Cheung says:

    The best thing I’ve heard all day, and it’s been a long day.

  254. Spaceranger says:

    Yay! Hi! The last thing that was thrown up on in my house was THE INSIDE OF THE TOILET!!! My 4year old puked in the toilet! THE TOILET. This is the first time any child in my home has puked in a toilet, and I must say, it was really really nice.

    • Bronwen says:

      The last time my daughter puked, it was in the toilet. She is 14. FOURTEEN!!! None of my children have done that before (I admit, this happened when she was 13, but still!) Go your kid!

  255. Rachel says:

    Welcome back!! I love your blog, seriously, you’re hilarious!! I live in Central WI too! I don’t think the winters here are nearly as bad as people make them sound. Not a huge fan of the cold, but I love the snow. Not a fan of the paper mill stench either!

  256. Meera says:

    Happy to see you! Your blog was the best medicine for me when my kids were 1 and 3 yrs. Thank you for giving me something to relate to during a tough time in my life. I still think of your Target hypnosis post when I shop there!

  257. jo says:

    my oldest turned 30 this year – that is very hard to believe!
    and my parents are gone
    that’s enough to keep me busy for awhile

  258. Roanna Battocchio says:

    Yay!!! Welcome back from the pause!!! So happy to read more crappy stuff!!! Can’t wait until we get to have some wine/coffee/tea and catch up in person!!! XOXO

  259. Arabella says:

    Here in New Mexico it’s almost 2 in the morning, I could actually go grab that glass of wine either to bemoan an unexpected charge of $100 from my account which might throw my account into an overdraft or I could celebrate crappypictures is back!

    I’m so happy, I’ve missed your hilarity.

    Congratulations on your move.

  260. Nancy says:

    I had my first and only child while you were on pause; he’s 10 months old now!!! So glad you are back!!!

  261. Tracy Lowman says:

    Good to see you again. We moved, too – from our tropical paradise in the FL Keys back to KY where I grew up. Which sucked right up until a month ago when I watched from afar as my paradise was lost. I’m sad, but glad my version of losing everything and starting over wasn’t quite THAT literal, in the end.
    Anna still likes plain noodles with Parmesan, hold the noodles and increase the Parmesan. She’s 8.5 going on 18. It’s fine. She already knows everything and is really just embarrassed by me now.
    Bubs is 4…I hadn’t included much about him in my comments to you yet before you paused. He was born in Islamorada, about 2 miles from that trailer park everyone saw on the news that was destroyed. He also likes plain noodles with Parmesan and everything else his big sister likes. He also really enjoys farting when her friends are around, humping his blanket in front of house guests and generally being exactly the little brother every full-of-herself nearly pre-teen girl truly needs in her life to add humility (or just humiliation.)
    I’ve missed you.
    I’d tell you to go catch up on my blog, but I’m still on pause, myself. So meh. Maybe you’ll inspire me. Something has to.
    Next round’s on me.

  262. Ophelia Dodds says:

    Hey! I moved too! Back from Chicago to the UK (city to burbs), so Big changes as well (the weather, always the weather – hey did you know it rains a lot in England?!)

    Moving is really hard, isn’t it? Uprooting your kids, making new friends. But it’s also awesome – meeting new people, finding new places to go. I hope you are really enjoying it and I’m glad you’re back :). Wishing you and your family all the best.

  263. Jennifer says:

    Welcome back! I was so excited to see this come up in my Facebook feed! I’ve missed you!

    P.S. sorry I drank most of the wine, I was just too excited!! Next time I’ll share – promise 😉

  264. Ellyn says:

    I am a brand new reader and saw this because a friend of mine liked it! I almost moved from Austin, TX to Appleton, WI once. Long story! But I lol’d at Californians all telling you how WI gets cold. I did end up moving North eventually- to Philadelphia. And every.single.person (literally!), when I told them I was moving to Philly, in a Texas accent said to me very seriously, “You know, it gets COLD up there!” Gee, really? So Pennsylvania isn’t hot like Texas? 🙄 (I now live in NJ and honestly sometimes the reverse questions can be annoying too- “You’re from Texas? Is it hot there?” Oh well lol!) Well, I will be following you now and look forward to more posts!

  265. Megan says:

    I was just thinking about your “old” blog this week….wondering what ever happened to it? So, it was an awesome surprise to see this. Glad you decided to come back.

  266. Sarah Darby Johnson says:

    YAY! And Wisconsin is still cold? Mind blown. Hope you are loving life there. Excited to hear from the Adventures of the Crappy Picture Family once more.

  267. Micki says:

    Oh how I missed you! I kept re-reading your books.
    Welcome back with open arms!

  268. Meg says:

    Hooray! Welcome back!

  269. Ashley says:

    I am SO STOKED that you’re back 🙂 yay!

  270. Santana says:

    Ooo/ let’s share!

    My son is 4 now. His favorite thing right now is to say “we need to eat this before it goes bad!”- mostly about junk food. He also likes to pretend he’s possessed by some other kid who makes him do bad things. I’m not worried….. 😬😬😬

    The last person who threw up was me, and thankfully in a waste basket, and it’s because I ate a “special” cookie (my first time ever, and last) and it hit me hard. It was a terrible night.

    What else…..haven’t moved. Still live in Nor Cal. Still hanging out.

  271. Amy says:

    Hang on a sec. Gotta catch my breath after scrolling past 334 comments to get here (I only care about what I have to say so that shaved some time off).

    I’m on a so-far 6-month sabbatical from instagram for the same reason. When it stops being fun and it’s work to be spontaneous what dya do?! Anyway I think you felt the vibes I sent *just yesterday*; your crappy blog popped into my mind and I wondered if we’d hear from you again. Glad we did. Hope we do some more.

  272. Amanda says:

    Hmm…well my kids moved out of baby and toddler phase and into preschool and kinder. My youngest was diagnosed with Autism about 8 or so months ago? That is a whole nother level of struggle. He’s 4 so has all the stubbornness of a 4 year old with the added stubbornness of all that can be autism. So my world is pretty much not anywhere I expected it to be. At all. I frankly still mourn the loss of my “future life as I imagined it” but here we are trudging through. Happy to have you back and look forward to some real-ness and comic relief.

  273. Amanda says:

    Welcome Back!! You have continuously made me laugh, and can’t wait to catch up!!

  274. Miriam says:

    You’re pauses are always a source of bittersweet comfort for me. (G You are funny and beautiful and creative and diversely passionate. I am too. And the compulsion to always do more is so strong. But you know when you need to center and focus. When the well runs dry you respect your creative exhaustion and refocus. It’s comforting and reassuring that one of my favorite bloggers is also a positive role model for self grace and self care.

    So much has changed here as well. I finished my AA finally after 10 years. My girls were there at my graduation and it was perfect. The oldest is in Kindergarten and turning 6 soon, the youngest is now in preschool. I’m now a year away from my BA. and planning on applying for graduate school. This was my first full time semester and it’s madness. It’s challanging and encouraging. So much growth this year.

    Me and the girls are learning Hawaiian, it’s their heritage and I need it for my career goals. A beautiful, poetic and enduring language. With that I’m taking a class on spiritual cultural balance. Been transformative. Oh and I’ve also started a blog for my writing, but I’m unpredictable in posting

    The girls are getting bigger every day, and so creative. They draw all of the time.

    I want to end by saying, your returns are an even greater comfort for me as well, your humor and wit and humility never fail to bring me joy and remind me to be silly.

  275. Rachael Rydbeck says:

    Welcome back! We moved two months ago from Seattle, Washington to Santiago, Chile. Looking forward to reading your tales of dramatic change. We have been experiencing that as well. 😉

  276. Willow says:

    We moved three miles to where the better highschools are. Yes, highschool, my crappy boy sat and exam and got into a fancy school. He now takes himself to school, on the road, on a bicycle, and isn’t dead. Crappy baby is 9 and still loving primary school.
    I am being good and having October off wine. Fourth alcohol free month this year. But I will have wine for you in November.

  277. Missy says:

    Don’t you just love wisconsin! I love the weather because it kills off most of the bugs in the winter so you don’t have these giant flying killer insects in the summer.

    And we started ice fishing a couple years ago, got a four wheeler that my son loves. He’s six so he loves anything with wheels.

    And the food! The bars around here make some awesome tacos, pizzas, cheese fries.

    My kiddo started full time kindergarten this fall. He comes home “I have a new best friend but I don’t know his name.” But meh, what’s in a name?

    And it’s pumpkin season! We are cruising the farmers markets and patches for ours this weekend.

    My kid hasn’t puked in ages but the cat just walked by with something gooey and weird in his fur, wonder what that’s about.

    All our love!

  278. Michele says:

    You just made my day! Looking forward to some crappy posts to make me laugh!

  279. marissa says:

    well my almost 3 year old peed and took a huge poop on the rocking chair. WHY!!! DEAR GOD WHY??? i have zero clue. and there you have it.. that sums up how we have been.

    “why do they throw everything on the floor after you put it away…. cause they are little assholes”

  280. Shoshana says:

    Welcome back! What a lovely surprise. My kids (10 and 8) must have known, because one of them recently brought “Crappy Parents” up to his bed to read. I think he thinks he’s ‘sneaking’ it up there to read because, as he says, “she uses SWEAR words”!!! lol! I’ve let my kids read your book since they were small. I think I must be a Crappy Parent. But they love it, too. Who doesn’t? Looking forward to more from you!

  281. Noelle says:

    YOU’RE BACK!!! *glomps you in a huge hug and then drags out all the wine and snacks* Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!

  282. Elizabeth says:

    I know I already said I was glad you’re back, but I just shared your post with my husband and it was like old times with him reading over my shoulder and genuinely laughing (like he so rarely does at other times, but always does with your posts!), so yeah, thank you for that. It’s gonna be fun. 😀

  283. Dawn says:

    Yay! I’m so glad you’re back. My family moved as well, and we’ve had a second child (another boy). They are now seven and almost two! They keep us on our toes for sure. Your posts were always so relatable. Thanks for coming back!

  284. Emily P says:

    Well, I actually have kids now! They’re 14 and 16. You’ve seriously been gone awhile. 😉 I used to read the blog just bc it amused me. Now I’m an actual parent! I’ve probably moved, don’t remember which couch I was surfing when you paused.

    I’m so glad you’re back! I now have 2 fave web comics again!

  285. TIffany says:

    Oh my gosh YAY! I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE BACK! We’ve also moved to Wisconsin (Madison) since you hit pause. Loving it here, winter and all.

  286. Kandi says:

    Heyyyyyyy! My sister and I were literally just talking about you and your crappy pictures a couple of days ago!! We reminisced about your crappy kids and your crappy stories and were laughing hysterically over one of your crappy catastrophes!!! And your back 🤓❤ love it!!!

  287. Crystal says:

    Welcome back!! Yay for moving out of California! I live in NorCal (seriously NorCal…closer to Oregon than San Francisco) and while all of the nature stuff is beautiful it’s hard to enjoy it with all the “people” stuff that’s going on here. Plus it would be nice to be away from the whole Cascadia area.

    My kids are 7, 3, and almost 1 now. It’s crazy how fast they grow up, and I’m super envious that you’re done with diapers. I think my eldest son is planning to stay in diapers/pull ups until he’s five like my daughter did :/

    I am so glad you’re back! I’ve been checking every few months or so to see if you had un-paused yet <3

  288. Emily says:

    I just moved out of Wisconsin 😣 glad you are back. Need someone to remind me of the humor in parenting 😄

  289. I am soooo glad you’re back!! And I’m soooo sad you’re not going to have sponsors or giveaways (because my business was one of your very first, if not the very first???, advertiser/sponsor/giveaways on your site! That was a long time ago! THANK YOU for helping me get my start – you sent me so many of my first customers!!!! I had one baby then, now I have FOUR. (Yes they’ve all been potty trained from birth. Lol. It’s what I still do.) And I moved from California to Asheville. In the COUNTRY! We have 17 chickens for gods sake.)

    But I totally understand. And I can’t wait to see you hawking your art 😉 looking forward to more posts. Too.

    Xx andrea
    Go Diaper Free (and I have two more businesses since then!! Tiny Undies and MamaWorx. Busy bee over here.) xoxox

  290. Rose says:

    Yay, you’re back!!!

  291. Shawna says:

    Oh, so great! I was just thinking of your blog the other day. I keep one of your coffee cups on my desk at work. Sometimes it is a very helpful ice breaker for the postpartum moms and dads who come in for counseling. Glad you are doing well!

  292. Steph says:

    Welcome back!! Man did I ever miss your posts!!!!

  293. Heidi Badley says:

    Yay! You’re back! I’ve missed you! We just recently moved, too. From the San Fran Bay area to VA. Yep, all the way across country with 10 of our 14 kiddos! Fun times!

  294. CP says:

    Become back! Thrilled to see you again – xoxoxo

  295. Wenonah says:

    Happy to see you back! I knew it was an exaggeration when you drew your kids so old but still fell for it for just a moment because I remember your kids being a few years off from mine and he’s 15 now, but then I remembered yours are younger. And I now have a lovely, lively, busy little surprise boy in our family, he’s 2.
    Fortunately my teenager knows how to throw up into the toilet (just Tuesday!) but pretty sure last thing before that was me that got thrown up on. Or if you count the “mouth dump” when his mouth is just too full of food, or maybe it’s something he doesn’t like, but usually it’s just because his bites are too big, then those land on the table, my hand, and once or twice I’ve been lucky and it went straight into the trash can.
    And your cold is looking mighty appealing! Just the other day in the middle of the afternoon I was happy to see a “98” for the temperature on the sign by the road. ‘Woot, it’s the hot part of the day and it’s below 100!’ thought I. Sad, sad. But come Jan, Feb, it’ll be nice.

  296. Sarah S.C. says:

    I am so happy you’re back. Like, so fucking happy. No pressure, even if you have to go on pause again sometime. So. Happy.

  297. Susanna says:

    You’re back! I love your Instagram post. I basically love everything you do. (I am not freaked out by the fact that you are real. You are so much more beautiful in real life. 😉)

    So the rustic dream thing… how did you talk Crappy Papa into this? You mention in the fair post that he is level headed and doesn’t go for these awesome ideas.

    Please draw all the things and tell all the stories and take your time and never think that we didn’t miss you! 😍

  298. Monique Birt says:

    I don’t get your emails. I don’t follow you on Facebook. I don’t follow you on Instagram. But I seriously just HAPPENED to think about your blog and check it. I have pretty perfect timing! Love the new post and can’t wait for more!

  299. Courtney says:

    Smile. (I’m not telling you to smile, because I hate when people do that Makes me want to smile even less… but I have a smile on my face…)

  300. Glad to see you’re back at it. I totally understand this post in so many ways, especially about returning to the Midwest. I love that you’re in Wisconsin now.

    My boy will be two in January and we have another due then, both with the SAME due date. I always knew that I’m a very precise person, but still.

  301. Nancy Cooney says:

    I love you!! I just posted on my facebook that I’m tired of seeing everyone posting pictures that made their lives look perfect-because it makes everyone feel like they’re not doing this life thing perfect. So instead, I posted a picture of my kitchen garbage can, and talked about how much it reeked- like something crawled into the garbage and died and then something else was festering and being born out of that filth kind of smell. Like a smell so bad that if facebook had smell capability that everyone would be vomiting in unison… but oh, I digress. That’s what I’ve been up to! I love you (I know! Odd- I don’t know you, and yet, I would invite you to Thanksgiving) , and I’m happy to see your post!!! It really made me smile. XOXO P.S. I think I better back off from the coffee…

  302. Kath says:

    I am so happy to see you posting again! I have missed you terribly.

  303. Katrina says:

    Well since you asked…
    How old are your kids now? 26, 24, 22, 18, 16, 14, 12, 11, 9, 4
    Did you move? no
    What is inspiring you? bloggers like you
    What is the last thing you ate? rice cake
    What is the last thing someone in your house threw up on? that would be my 5 month old boxer puppy, Maverick, who I had to take to the after hours vet emergency because he swallowed my menstrual cup. The vet gave him a shot of something and he immediately threw it back up, along with a plastic water bottle cap and the rubber rim off a pair of goggles. True story. You can check my IG for photos (mamakat10) – I think it’s 48 posts down by now, but it’s there. Glad you are back – you’ve been missed!

  304. D says:

    Yayyy! Crappy!

  305. Sam says:

    I moved from SE WI to Florida. People gave me the same warnings. “It’s hot you know!” No shit?! Here I thought Florida was in the arctic! *eyeroll* Anyway, I’m glad you’re back. I missed your crappy pics and your funny stories!

  306. Jody B says:

    Oh Amber, so happy to see this post! You and I need to talk about our creative stuff. I so get it – especially right now as I find myself in the stuck place you are just finding your way out of. Email me if you ever have a moment. xo Jody (p.s. – My first comment! :D)

  307. Jessica says:

    Last time i was here, it was because of What its like to NOT sleep at night. I was breastfeeding my first baby, and he’s now 3yo, and has a little sister (11 months)!!! I can’t believe its been so long. I’m back here cos a new bf mom (friend of mine) shared that famous post again and I just HAD to re-read it haha. Keep it up and keep going. All the best with settling down. Sending you good vibes 🙂

  308. It is so good to see a new post from you! I’m more of a lurker than an active commentator(?) but I thought I’d answer your questions anyway because it’s better than nagging my children to finish their homework. My kids are 8 and 11 right now and I swear there were diapers in my house when I first started reading your blog. Does this mean we’re old now? I haven’t moved but WOW you moved to my state. People freaked out when we moved to Wisconsin, too, and were constantly concerned about the weather which is absurd because we moved here from Massachusetts. I keep telling them it’s the same and they don’t believe me. People are weird.

    I went to a paint nite thingy recently where you drink wine and some dude shows you how to paint trees and it was way more fun than I thought it would be and then my family even liked my painting enough that nobody complained when I hung it on the wall so I’m calling that inspiring. I’m inspired to drink more wine and paint something else. The last thing I ate would be the chocolate that I’m hoarding in my office. I mean, what chocolate in my office? I don’t know what you are talking about? My dog was the last being to throw up in my house which is less fun than secret chocolate but did cost me a decent amount of money on antibiotics, so win?

    Does that answer your questions? Welcome back and congrats on the move!

  309. Lillian says:

    WOW!! It was great seeing you are back!! Great move. My boys love CT mostly because of the snow and I think they only can survive in the cold. A lot has changed mostly I’m now working from home and am now the parent that gets to drop them off at school. Yes!!! Loving our time together and all the new things I learn about them everyday. Great seeing you are back!!

  310. Believe it or not, this is my first time finding your blog. That noted, welcome back!!! Good luck with getting all settled in and re-starting your blog. I won’t even ask about the weather. LOL. I hope to see more from you soon.

  311. lolnexus says:

    I have enjoyed reading many of the articles and posts contained on the website, keep up the good work and hope to read some more interesting content in the future. Thank you for bringing more information to this topic for me. I’m truly grateful and really impressed. Absolutely this article is incredible.

  312. Val says:

    Omg yayyyyy!!!!!!! I shared a poopy story on FB years ago and it popped up on my memories — laughed all over again and out of habit hit the home button. And… you’re here!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Missed you can’t wait to hear more stories🤗

  313. Rose ASL says:

    So happy you’re back! My boys will be happy too. I “loaned” your book away after we read it a few dozen times, and it may be gone for good. 🙂 My oldest (pushing 13) will probably say he’s too old for your blog now but will sneak a peek at it when I’m not looking. I think my 11-year-old may have moved on to funny kitten videos and DIY robot instructions. Time for my daughter (6) to start on Crappy Pictures! Except – except –

    Well, daughters are different. I’m pretty sure she’s going to think this is some weird Mom thing she needs to distance herself from. She’s amazing and smart and beautiful and WAY above internet humor. (Or maybe just jealous that we get it and she doesn’t.) Spongebob rocks, though. Go figure.

    Maybe the two rescue cats we adopted this summer will read it with me…

    Anyway, congratulations on your move! I’d take rural Wisconsin over L.A. any time.

  314. sally says:

    I love this! why did it take me so long to notice this in my ‘oldreader’ ? So glad you are back.
    and admire that you made the leap to move to wisconsin! I’ve been there a couple times on family road trips (in the last last couple of years) We stopped for a break to let the kids stretch their legs (at a playground in Manitowish), and I told my husband I wanted to move there. But we are still on the west coast. We did move to a ‘new’ old house… with old carpet. that is the most recent thing to be barfed on. Right after french toast for dinner, playing on the playground, and then child (a 4 year old) GULPING lots of water. That was difficult to treat, and smelled for several days. You weren’t really expecting to get answers were you ? 🙂 (and you are currently thinking, who are these people again?)

  315. Margaret winters says:

    So glad to see you back! I loved your blog and pics back when my boys were tiny, they are now 4 and almost 7 yikes!
    Looking forward to enjoying your page again all the way from sunny Scotland (lies Scotland is probably about as sunny as your new hometown lol)
    Xx

  316. Donna Armstrong says:

    This mom on her farm in PA is thrilled to see you unpaused!!! My littlest is 5 now and the last thing thrown up on was me. And the couch. And the bed. Not my husband, of course.

  317. Nina says:

    Sure I am saying what everyone else is, but totally missed you! So need your humor!! Can’t wait for more posts!! I need to even reread the old stuff… I don’t know what is funnier the text or the pics. It such a perfect combo!!

  318. Amanda says:

    YAY! I’m so glad you are back – it feels like a reunion with a (very funny) friend. Glad to hear about your move and looking forward to hearing all the things.

  319. Julia Goolia says:

    Yaaaay! I was unsubscribing from everything the other day and came to crappypictures on the list. I thought, “Aww I miss those posts” I’ll keep it just in case she ever writes more. I’m so glad I did!

  320. Gena Marshall says:

    My SIL just got engaged, and I realized what she needed in her life was your guide to Marriage. While I was at it, I thought I’d just check and see if you were still on pause. No! Fantastic! See, I do a good deed from my sis and get rewarded, perfect.

    So happy to see you posting. Congrats on the big move!

  321. Joanna says:

    Yay! Glad your back! I’ve missed your stories! And now you live in my home state! (I’m in Canada now but I grew up in Green Bay Wisconsin, was born in Neenah WI. My mom still lives in Green Bay too. 🙂 Balance is so hard. Mine are 3 and 6 now and my art had taken a back table right now. I miss it. I need to get back to it.

  322. Donita says:

    Missed you! Welcome back.

  323. Rachael says:

    Hooray, you are back!

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