Welcome to the grand opening of The Crappy Shop!
It is true. I now have a shop. With stuff in it! Stuff that you can buy!
Stuff like this:
Okay, in this case, maybe a few real photos will look, uh, less crappy:
and
and also…
And there is more right here.
This is a project that has taken a loooooooong time. And a lot of blood, sweat and tears. (Okay, hopefully no blood. Or tears.)
It has taken a long time because I wanted to get it right.
These were the thoughts in my head over the last year…
“I want to sell shirts, but I want them to be made in the USA. I want to sell a water bottle, but I want it to be stainless and BPA-free. I want to sell a grocery tote, but I want it to be natural cotton and super sturdy. I need to be able to choose each product individually. I’m picky! I won’t sell crap! But then my images will have to go on them somehow so I’ll need to find a manufacturer and a screen printer. And then the items will have to be photographed. Then a store will have to be built. And then someone will need to pack and ship all the orders. And answer customer emails. This is impossible.”
Enter the elves.
No really, there are elves.
(Not Christmas toy-making elves or tiny elves who hide under furniture and break shit while you are sleeping. My elves are rad.)
The elves are actually the people behind a local company that I hijacked partnered with to make this all happen. The elves not only did the nifty stuff like screen print the shirts, but they will be shipping out orders and answering order related emails. Elves rock.
To start with, there are 15 different goodies for sale. Some of the goodies (like the shirts) have only a dozen available in each size. I’m not telling you this as a “buy my crap now!” pressure tactic. I’m telling you this just in case we do sell out of something (which would be amazing) that the elves will work very hard to get orders out and to restock the shop as fast as elvishly possible. With any new venture, there is bound to be a learning curve. So don’t poke the elves. (Too hard or too often. A little is okay.)
See all the goodies in The Crappy Shop.
And a huge thanks in advance to anyone who places an order. I really, really appreciate it.
———————–
PS – My product photography was by Jennifer Manley Photography, who even procured the adorable kid/baby models for me. Hire Jen if you are in Los Angeles. She is hilarious and fun.
PPS – Yes, the elves ship internationally.
PPPS – If this goes well, I hope to add more products/images/options/sizes in the store. I welcome your feedback about such things.
PPPPS – Nothing to see here. I just wanted to add another one. I don’t think I’ve ever done this many.
congrats!
Just bought the clock to put in my kids bedroom, I have to teach them *when* they can actually get out of bed – I am going to chuckle everytime I look at it. I also had the, “I can because I do” drawing as a screen saver for a while…It’s hard to get me to laugh out loud but that one (and your website) get’s me pretty much every time. You are pretty much super awesome at doing your ‘thing’.
oops – I meant to do an original post, not a reply~
Oh MY GOD…I love it!
That’s awesome! Congrats on making this happen
I can’t wait to check out all your non-crappy crap 
Must… Buy….
Love your blog. Many minutes of much needed mirth in the midst of crazy parenting challenges. You rock. Will buy. Will share.
Happy New Year!
~Gigi~
As my 3 yr old would say: HIPPY HOORAY!! The stuff looks awesome and I must have some soon.
Aaah, I want everything in the shop!! You are a genius
Ok, I went in hoping that you were selling a purple dress. Sad-face.
Couldn’t source one. Yet.
Ooooo!! Yes that is a Crappy MUST-HAVE!
So glad it’s a “yet!”
o no! i love all of this!!!
Oh, man, if I had some spare cash… One of Everything, Please! Except the hearts shirt. Need 2 of those. Oh, and 2 of the diaper houdini ones. Wait, 3 shopping bags…
So totally exciting!! I love all of them
OMG seriously just made my day! Going to explore every inch of the store now
I would totally buy the human bean shirt for my 3 year old but I don’t think 12-18m will fit…
Several requests for that one in bigger sizes, thanks for the feedback!
Yea! I just got some spending cash and your stuff is making out burn a hole in my pocket!
I am so torn between wanting to post this on my facebook/twitter/blog/instawhatever and also figuring out how to secretly manipulate the internets so that I and only I can see this.
A he he diaper t-shirt?! Are you even serious?! Best thing to happen all day. I will gladly skip my mani/pedi this week and support you.
OMG, So CUTE!
I absolutely LOVE it! I wish this was around before the holidays, but I probably wouldn’t have had time to really look at things and order in time for Christmas presents anyway. But now I have to remember about this for the upcoming year of birthday gifts, baby showers, etc. My husband has 12 nieces/nephews and I have 13 cousins, so there’s a LOT!
Yay!
So cute! I’ll definitely poke around!
CONGRATS!!!!! Love it!
Wondering if Crashy Cards will be reopening for business???
It is open, not sure how many he has got in there, but the graphic link to it is over on the righthand column. I don’t announce it anymore, he could never keep up with orders that way!
Congrats!! Completely awesome that you’ll finally get a bit of financial compensation for all the brilliant laughs you’ve given us!! When is the book due??
Book is out at the end of March. Soon!
Will your super awesome book be in the shop too? Please, please, pretty please!?!?
Can’t wait for the book!
I want the “I can because I do” in adult size! Er, please?
Maybe, maybe…thanks for the feedback!
Yes, please!
Agreed!
Yes, Adult sizes please!
I second that! Congrats on this whole venture!
Agree (all the way from UK)!
Me too!!!
LOL I clicked on “comments” specifically so I could request that shirt in an adult size. Great minds… blah blah.
I want that ‘fetti shirt. That was one of my favorite posts.
I love that you ship internationally! And will your book be on there, eventually?
oooh oooh what she said, about the book
Not sure yet!
O M G so need the Sawee mama shirt in a 3T
Bought the Drink Water water bottle….so excited!!! I always forget to drink the water and leave it sitting around. Finally I will have a reminder!!!
Exactly! I actually wrote a post about this but forgot to post it this week. Oh well, it will be next week.
LOVE!!!!! The Human Bean and the Hearts shirts need some more sizes(for bigger kids), pretty please!!!!
Bigger kids sizes, yes! Thanks for the feedback!
Great stuff!!!! But I really wish the kids shirts went to bigger sizes.
I was totally going to buy one of the “I can because I do” shirts for my 3 year old son. But he needs a size boys 5-6! (Yeah, he’s a big kid.) Even my 2 yo daughter would need the 4 and it wouldn’t fit her long. Boo! But I might ask for the crappy clock for my upcoming birthday.
Mine is 6 and he actually wears a 6. I would love bigger kids sizes, but I know everyone has said this already. Congrats Amber!
I want an “I can because I do.” shirt! If only everything came in adult sizes as well.
I want a crappy calendar please!
Love that idea, thanks!
Can you do the calendar in that “Mom’s family calendar” format? I have a Sandra Boynton one with a column for each person. It’s supper handy.
BTW: you and Sandra Boynton are my two favorite mom artists ever!!! I don’t comment much because by the time I get there, there are already 300 comments, but I LOL plenty. You are awesome.
Sandra Boynton! She’s a favorite of ours, too!
Definitely a calendar next year, please? Or one starting August – academic session – fits in with the mummy life starting at the end of the summer hols?
Congrats! I appreciate all the thought you put into your shop! Yay USA made!
I am SO happy for you and this grand idea!!!!!
Yay! Congrats!!!
Also, does the “I Can Because I Do” shirt come in adult sizes? I’m asking for a friend of mine…
Uh, me too…for a friend.
My DS is just a little bit too big for a 4T now, or I’d order the blue cats shirt in a flash. Please let me know when you have the next size up available!
Love! I love the hearts shirt especially…
I wanna see something with kitty glitter!!!
Love that idea, thanks! It may have made the cut actually, but the products were put in place almost 6 months ago, before “kitty glitter” existed! Maybe someday…
Yes! Kitty glitter on an adult sized t-shirt. I already have people in mind for Christmas presents……
MUST HAVE “I can because I do” shirt in grown-up size! Why is this not a thing?!
Congrats! Way to turn a hobby into a business! Best of luck!
Travel coffee mugs…pretty please!
What about a Momma survival set? A wine glass with the word, “Downer” written on it paired with a coffee mug that has “Upper” on it. That’s one of my favorite post!!
Dude. Awesome. Please can I hire you for director of merchandising and pay you with wine?
or a coffee cup in the shape of a wine glass with that on each side!
oh oh oh!! LOVE! or Tea… just saying.
First time visitor
I accept Merlot, Chardonnay, Cabs…who am I kidding? I accept box wine! Please just do it so I can buy it from you and gift it to my friends (and self) because your truth makes me giggle. Good luck on your new business venture. Am eagerly awaiting your book! Have you read Catherine Newman’s articles or book? You make me laugh as hard as she did!
Those are fabulous. I really want to buy something. Decisions, decisions… Congratulations on your new creations!
Congratulations! That is so exciting. I have had similar thoughts and then gave up. But I’m soooo glad you found elves!!
OH! Also, can yo make the robot one in adult sizes? I LOVE it!!
More “girl” colors in the kids shirts would be awesome. “I can because I do” would be headed my way now, except persnickety three won’t wear anything but pink. I may have the only kid so ferociously vocal on her clothing, but it doesn’t hurt to ask!
My 3 year old wont wear anything but pink either, and an occasional purple.
Hey, you need a link to the shop on your sidebar thing —————>
I’m just saying
Soon. Soon.
Cool! What does the cat Tee say? I can’t read the writing on the pic.
Says “Cats: Illustrated in Crappy Pictures”
Congrats on your newest venture! I wish I had your entrepreneurial spirit!
Awesome! My husband is a graphic designer, screen printer shop owner in mn if you need any help.
I had to snag an “I can because I do.” My son will be rocking that this summer. Congratulations to you. I admire your (not-so) crappy sense of humor, and your amazingly crappy drawings! You know, anywhere else, the previous sentence would be an insult…
Please, please make “Sawee Mama” in toddler 3 or 4!!! I must have this before my guy gets too big!
Can the elves take requests? For instance, “I can because I do,” is a phrase we’ve been using a lot around my house after reading that blog, and I’d love to get my husband that shirt in his size. This is very exciting!
WOW! that is awesome! Congratulations. What an inspiration to all of us! I bet the sales will be even more then you expect! Those elves will just have to work overtime!
Oh fantastic! Congratulations. As a designer I love how many things are available & affordable now in regards to making/printing products. Have you thought about getting some fabric printed featuring some of your sleep themed illustrations? Then you could make pillowcases from it. One size fits all!
b-b-but…no adult sizes? I don’t have kids. And I want the human bean and because I do shirts. Hmph.
the lil girl with hearts would make a fab valentines present! you shouldve done it as a card too… you should totally sell cards! an post card!
Hooray!!
Book? When and where is your book coming out?
Well done. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. Bravo.
Bravo!
Here’s to selling out.
Who doesn’t love a PPPS?
While I love the store, I am so sad that the Target “Yes, I DO NEED CURTAINS” didn’t make it onto the tote, lol. I would totally buy that.
Congrats on the store!
I was just thinking how awesome it would be if Target carried a tote with the Target-eye.
Couldn’t type my credit card info in fast info to score an “I can because I do” T for my little man. So cute!!!!!
If you can add a 2x cat shirt for adults would love to have it too. Just not sure an XL will work with the “girls”.
I ordered just because I love your post!
That purple cat shirt will be mine!!
Oh the robot tee. Must have robot tee!!!
Potty training t-shirt please!! (That’s what got me onto your site in the first place.) Oh and who are the elves? Is it top secret? Because I’m lookin for the same exact type of service and feel it to be utterly impossible.
I want the “I Can Because I Do” shirt in my OWN size. It’s my favorite quote from your blog!
My request is for the wineglass to pair with the coffee mug. That says, “I don’t need to have it. They need me to have it.”. (Hope I quoted that right- sorry if I bungled it!). I would totally buy tbat for myself & several friends. (And hey- a discount for buying the mug AND glass would be nice, too!)
Omg I love this! But I really want the coffee mugs in a travel mug. Can the elves do that?
Can we get the ‘I can because I do’ t-shirt in pink too please??
I would have purchased the “sawee” one but it doesn’t come in the bigger sizes! Rats! My little one is somewhere around 18 month size now so he wouldn’t be able to wear it for long.
I just bought the “I can, because I do” shirt for my two-year-old. It’s so perfect. She does, because she can. I’m happy to support such a cool idea! Love small businesses started by moms. Good for you!
Awesome! So psyched for you! This is somewhat unrelated, but, at the bottom of your posts there were always social share links. I don’t see them anymore. Am I missing them somehow? Thanks! I wanted to immediately share this post on Facebook but didn’t see any icons under the post.
Congratulations Amber!!!!! Looks fabulous!!! Definitely love the coffee mug “upper” idea and wine glass “downer” idea… TOO funny! I thought you might have some of your son’s stuff in the store too…??
YAY! Waiting (hoping) for an excuse to buy something soon! And excited about international shipping since almost all the little ones we love are in Canada.
Congrats!
I would love to see/buy “I can because I do” in a girlie color!
Yay! That is awesome. I love your illustrations!
Didnt read other comments sorry if repeating ideas, but please make pink hearts available in girls sizes 7/8 or 9+ since America Apparel does run small (think its awesome you told us that!).
Looking forward to new products. Kids aprons, wine glasses with choice of crappy drawing- that pic of mom freaking out growling (love that drawing) would be awesome. It would be cool if we could pick a semi-personalized crappy drawing with choice of coloring-Peach yellow red Lt brown dk brown stick figure with brown long/short hair brown eyes, red hair green eyes, black hair blue eyes, ect. -With our own kids saying would be cool. Only if you have a group of crappy elves that would personalize in your font.
Congrats on your new adventure!
Sadly when you start personalising things is when it becomes too much time/effort for not enough monetary gain
Congratulations! Everything is adorable. Can’t wait for
the wine glasses. Also – found a website with the custest slipper socks “cowboy boots” for little girls – called bootzies.org (don’t do .com, it takes you to a sleezy lingerie site – LOL!)
Be ordering shortly, again, well done! Love your blog
bootzies.org didn’t work, it’s a .net
Oh wow- your stuff is awesome! Tough decision on what to get first! Thank you for shipping to Canada and it being reasonable- and thanks for taking PayPal! Not everyone has a Visa card laying around!
Oh and I agree with other posters- definitely need a “I can because I do” in adult size and in 12-18month and 18-24 month sizes please!
“Excellent” (in my best imitation of Mr. Byrnes)
OOH OOH Please do make the “He He” shirt in pink for my lil girl??!!
I have so much respect for you for sticking to your guns and making sure everything was manufactured the way you wanted it. And now you can sleep at night! This is basically my dream. Great to see that it’s possible. So cool.
I just hope there is a shopping bag with the image of you coming out of Target with hypno-eyes. That thing would go viral.
Also, CONGRATULATIONS, because that is so awesome!
Oh, the pink hearts shirt! Just in time for Valentine’s Day! Love the products! Keep ‘em coming! Here’s a few more for good measure “!!!!”
And where is the CAT GLITTER??? *that’s an idea for your products*
Shirts in Dad sizes/themes please! Just a suggestion, but I would totally rock one. If there was one available to rock.
I ordered the water bottle! Let’s hope your cute little reminder does the trick
Yay! Just bought Crappy stuff! Just what I needed, more stuff! But seriously, I couldn’t resist…now there is Crappy stuff coming to Australia. Can’t wait to see more crappy products added soon!!!
Everything is awesome!!! I have to say, as a fellow mom of two boys, it’s kind of refreshing that there are far more options for boys than for girlie girls! No offense, parents of girlie girls, it just seems that there aren’t generally a lot of fun, cute options (stripes, again?) for boys out there. Also? I have been searching for a cat shirt for my cat-loving 3 year old and I think I may have found it!
So happy for you, but could you make the images larger? Even when I hover over them it’s almost impossible to see what they say.
Would love it if the baby shirts were onesies…I imagine those are more expensive to produce or something but when my kids were little, up to a certain age, shirts that didn’t snap under the crotch annoyed me. I have friends that are expecting boy/girl twins and would like to get them something(s)…if no onesies there’s always that awesome bib!
Just putting it out there: I would totally buy a whole series of adult-sized Tshirts with the before kids/after kids illustrations on it. Especially the “boobs” one.
Cute!! I will definitely find time (and money!) to buy some of your stuff. Love your blogs.
I totally need to have the Official Toddler Slogan tshirt in MY size!! :’( I fucking LOVE the crap out of that post and I say it often!
If the “he he” naked baby shirt was a size 18-24 or 2T, I would be all over it! My toddler strips naked constantly!
Hi, I second the making the “cats” tshirt in plus size 2x…*cough*.
congrats!! love it
Absolutely NEED the “I Can, because I do” shirt in a 2X. I was in an accident a few years ago and the first surgeon called in said I would never walk again. I would love to send him a picture of myself, walking, wearing this shirt. And I need one in a larger size (6-8)so that my grandsons can have matching shirts to mine. Not so they can match grandma, but because they are as stubborn as I am.
And, how did you know that my bathroom clock quit working? Your clock would be a fun replacement.
I also want the “I can because I do t-shirt in grownup size. I really need it!
You are brilliant … congrats to you! Thank you for making this scatterbrained and often delirious mama smile with your posts.
I was about to buy the coffee mug and tote, but after shipping the total was $44! That is crazy. Find a way to lower your prices.
Adult-sized “I can because I do” shirts please!