My children give me gifts all the time. I should probably write this as "gifts" so you understand what I'm talking about.
Is exactly what I am NOT talking about.
No, no, no, no, no.
Sure, I could write a post about all the flowers, drawings and otherwise sweet stuff they give me. But this is not that post.
I'm talking about "gifts" here.
One time I even got poop:
Even more gross.
However, none of these compare to the gift I got last weekend.
I'm sitting on the floor and my 4-year-old runs up to me:
I scream! Frantically jump up and pull and shake my clothes. Get it off! I can see it on the ground but my dancing frenzy continues. You know, just in case it multiplied or left parts on me which they always do.
My husband enters to pick up the spider and to make fun of me.
I can see him mentally high-fiving our son.
I'm still shell-shocked in the corner.
I admit my weakness.
(To clarify, I just do not like them touching me. This is a very strong aversion. If I had to do a superhero I would be unable to pick Spider-Man. Spider-guys are not my thing. And I don't care who played him in the movies. Spider bits = no.)
I can see the boys looking at each other.
And simultaneously, they chase me:
Boogers, chewed food, puke and even poop may be gross but they wash off. You can never wash off a spider.
This was, by far, the worst "gift" I have ever gotten from them.
What "gifts" have you been given by your kids?