It is Friday already and all I have to show for it is Farkles the Unicorn.
Sorry.
But at least you now know where sparkles come from. I was surprised too.
Don’t worry, they are unscented.
————
By the way, “Farkles the Unicorn” was inspired by a comment by Laurie who wrote that her friend’s granddaughter calls glitter, ‘farkles’. Then I said some stuff about sparkle farting unicorns and couldn’t get the idea of Farkles the Unicorn out of my head. He’s been frolicking around in there for weeks, glittering up the place. He talks to me. Sings songs even. He also tells me elaborate stories about embarrassing situations he has been in. He is greatly misunderstood. Sigh.
Oh and several people commented on this glitter post about those pills that make you poop gold. So while you can’t make farkles (unicorns only) you can make sharkles. For only $425 a pill. I can’t wait! After I win the lottery and I’m filthy rich I will totally still not buy those.
Wow, I thought I was the only one who farted glitter……
You must have unicorn in your blood.
I also burp rainbows and sunshine…Maybe Farkles is my long lost mother and my human mom just pretends she actually gave birth to me!
Most likely scenario.
Do you have those glittery undies from VS? They can sure make you look like it 🙂
I once worked in an adult entertainment club and the places those girls put sparkles makes me wonder if they farted glitter……hmmm, I think I can find a few of em on FB so I’m gonna ask. I have to know now!!
Ugh! My daughter (19 yo) bought some of those sparkly butt undies. When she pulled off her pants at the end of the day, she ended up with a pile of glitter all over the floor of her room every. single. time she wore them. Yes, I did laugh at her for that.
Have you seen Space Unicorn? He shoots marshmallow lasers AND poops/farts rainbows. Way less messy than glitter or sparkles.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slO7dDwB9jA
I’ll ask Farkles if they know each other.
Can you sell your poop? LMAO
No kidding. After investing $425 it has to be worth at least $200.
Unless you are Pandas and Elephants at the San Diego zoo. They recycle the panda poop and make bamboo poop books. True story.
You have filled my day with sunshine and unicorn farkles.
Hmm, This has “shirt material” written all over it…
I’m thinking bigger. I want Farkles to have his own TV show.
Definitely do-able
I can’t imagine anyone saying no to that idea, especially considering some of the turds the networks got their hands on. The Geico Cavemen? They got nothin’ on Farkles!
My unicorn eats rainbows and poops butterflies.
Yes! Farkles! I knew my unicorn that farted glitter had a name! 😀
I think Farkles has been here. That would explain a lot.
He gets around.
Ever seen that glitter frosting at the grocery store? If your kids get enough of that, THEY WILL sh*t glitter! We used it to decorate cookies for Christmas and of course most of the frosting was ingested instead of used for decoration…
I have to go find that now.
Certainly cheaper than the sparkle poop pill.
oh wow! Thank you! This was a great way to start the day! 🙂
With my 5 year old in the new habit of farting at people, I’m not sure if I’d want the glitter. What a clean up nightmare!
I am totally showing this to my 8 year-old daughter’s 10 year-old brother.
LOL!
My 3 year old daughter has a toy unicorn named Farkle also!
I used to work with a very “proper”, older woman. She loved anything Victorian and acted as such, most of the time. Anyway, rather than the word “fart” she used to use “farkle”. So rather than farting, her kids grew up letting “farkles” hee hee
I was just advised by a friend that Farkle is an actual game!! With DICE! 😀
Does it have unicorns and glitter? 🙂
Sadly no. Great game though. Probably better if you could play with a glitter farting unicorn!
I CAN! He is with me always!
Isn’t everything better with a glitter farting unicorn?
Funny you should mention games – Farkles make me think of this:
http://games.adultswim.com/robot-unicorn-attack-twitchy-online-game.html
(Is it possible that Farkles is a robot?)
Why not? If a violin-playing goat is required then it’s only reasonable to assume that a glitter-farting unicorn is too… 😉
Here’s a how to to make Farkle poop! Have fun!
http://boingboing.net/2012/05/23/howto-make-unicorn-poop-cookie.html
Oh! And you can eat them!
My daughter calls glitter “Farkles” as well!! it such an awesome word i have caught myself using it out in public with other adults haha.
Weel, Farkles seem like the are A LOT nicer than SHARTS!!!!!!!!!
Oh my god yes! That is the best picture! He should definitely be a TV show. Or a shirt at the very least. I would rock that t shirt.
And I’ve actually played the dice game Farkle!! It’s really fun! But it would be more fun if there were a glitter farting unicorn!
Must get this on a T-shirt for your store. Or at least a mug.
Wasn’t he on She-Ra?
Would that make She-ra Mother Farkles??!! I knew it, this explains so much!!
LOL Mother Farkles.
Excellent! A new way to swear in front of the kids (not to mention the annoying grown-ups with sensitive sensitivities)! Thank you!
Hmm.. So kitty glitter comes from Farkles. No wonder people love kittens and unicorns.
The glitter-farkling unicorn is better than “Sniffy the Christmas Rat” who has been my constant companion this holiday season. I bow to your superior fantasy-obsession!
made me think of this: http://9gag.com/gag/6411194
Someone said we’d need a refill station. Now I can recommend Farkles as that refill station
If you put that on a t-shirt I would soo buy one for me and my girls!! :o)
Oh! Me too! And maybe my son. Lmao
Do you know how EXCITED I was to check your blog just now and see my name in print on your post as the inspiration for “Farkles the Unicorn”?!? It’s even better than if my response number were picked for a Kitchen Aid mixer on Pioneer Woman’s blog (tho. I could really use a KA mixer!) Of course, I’d be good for SEVERAL t-shirts! Many thanks!
🙂 I hope you win a mixer someday too.
But I want that mixer! 😛
This is awesome! My 2 favorite blogs have similar themes this week – unicorns and bodily functions! 🙂 (As a pediatrician, bodily functions are ALWAYS fun!) http://www.howtobeadad.com/2013/14723/unicorn-poop-how-i-fell-in-love-with-the-daughter-i-never-had
A friend insists rainbow cake looks like unicorn vomit – is this a talent of ‘farkles’
Nope, I think that is his cousin.
I used to teach preschool, and now have a 5 year old and 2 year old.
So, I can tell you with great authority that if you Eat enough glitter during craft projects, you will Poop glitter.
Okay, maybe not You. But your small humans, they will eat it and poop it, leading to much hilarity in the bathroom.
Maybe Farkles could make appearances at weddings?
http://offbeatbride.com/2012/07/wedding-unicorn
Please note, this was NOT my wedding.
OH MY GODS!
Oooo, that would make a great toy. Like those little pig and sheep keychains you squeeze and brown squooshy stuff comes out, a unicorn you squeeze and sparkly gunk comes out. Or just sparkles. it could even be a glitter dispenser!!! Ha ha ha!! Cracking myself up here.
This reminds me of a friend of mine (yes really, it’s not really me disguising myself for anonymity!) whose daughter at the time of this story was 5 or 6. Anyway, she had a scheduled visit to her OBGYN and was running late (as you do with kids) so didn’t have time to shower. She grabbed a flannel from her daughter’s bathroom and had a quick wipe around. Her (male) OBGYN said to her at the appointment “Glad to see you’ve made an effort!”. She was totally confused until she got home and realized she had been playing glitter with her daughter and cleaned her up using the flannel that she later used to clean herself! She changed OBGYN after that….
This post and entire comment thread made me laugh. Not only are you funny but your readers are hilarious! I just spent 2 hours at
A kids birthday party so a little Farkle humor was much needed.
LONG LIVE FARKLE!
I’ve been saying for years that kids poop glitter. This is established by the fact that there is glitter in places where children did not use glitter or bring glitter (like my office).
OMG. NOW I know where all the sparkles come from! I make unicorns, and could never figure out where the glittery stuff was coming from.
Thanks for clarifying!!
Umm, okay. That was an odd but funny post! lol
Farkle sparkles reminds me of Sparkle Farkel and the Farkel family: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5xtxs221w0
My 3 year old also says Sparkles with an F and we always ask her to say it 😉 Gotta get your laughs where you can!
(Also really fun to hear from her is “fooky!” during Halloween!)
I just saw on the Fab.com site that “unicorn poop cookies” are up for sale. There’s a website from the owner,where she explains how she came up with the idea: http://www.sweetinsanitybakeshop.com/
The cookies are under the menu tab, under sugar cookies. Too funny!
oh my girls have been singing about their friend Charlie the Unicorn…”He poops out rainbows and barfs out sparkles” Wish that is what came out of them when they puked! LOL!!!!
I want this as a T-shirt! Please add to the CrappyPictures Shop!!!!
I would buy yoga pants with this on the butt.
my husband told the kids that rainbows are made when ‘unicorns fart’
FYI I included a link to you on my new blog http://allforesther.blogspot.com/
Hope that’s ok, you’re one of my favorites.
Jeannie
I was given a bottle of ‘unicorn wee’ for Christmas. It’s basically vodka that has had turkish delight soaking in it, and maybe a little bit of lilac colouring. Hmm, anyone fancy a big glass of Unicorn wee ?
that’s so funny! our waitress a few weeks back told us about her neice that could not say the word Sparkle when she was little. she coudle say Farkle however. from then on they would refer to farts and farting as sparkles and sparkling.
Have you seen the Moxie Girlz with Poopsy Pets toys? They all come with an animal that poops its own specialty poop! I just about died laughing in Toys R Us.
* Avery has a pet koala who poops jewels
* Lexa has a pet bunny who poops glittered poop
(and saving the best for last)
* Kellan has a pet unicorn who poops rainbow poop
This has to be the best post yet!! Love love love this! And I vote for the shirt!
I just want to say, this is like your Non-Crappiest photo of all time. I think unicorn fart drawings must be your niche. Great work! 🙂
My oldest daughter used to call Freckles, Farkles lol So this is even more hilarious to me 🙂
Now why would you buy a pill to turn your poo gold when you could just eat dollar store glitter and get the same effect? (I suspect that is bad for you though, so don’t try it 😛 )
I saw this post and I was recently spending all my money on fab.com and came across these:
http://fab.com/sale/16761/product/320793/
And yes, yes I did buy some.
Best.post.ever. You never disappoint Amber. 🙂
I discovered unicorn poop cookies the other day. they are all swirly colored…food coloring? with sprinkles. I thought that was funny. I am sure kids will go crazy for them!
I think you should write children’s books about farkle the glitter farting Unicorn. I think they would be a huge hit. I work as a library assistant in a school and know how much kids like books of this type. I am sure it wouldn’t be too difficult for you to do this. A whole new carreer move.
Long time reader but first time to comment (looking forward to the book hitting the UK!)
Saw this and thought when you’d shaken it’s unicorn shaped ass full of sprinkles over cakes you could fill it with glitter and have a model farkles!
http://www.iwantoneofthose.com/gift-home-office/unicorn-sprinkles-shaker/10663933.html
Thought of your post straight away!!! 🙂
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I once found my baby eating sequins. He was doing sharkles the next day!
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