The other day Crappy Papa was heading to the market for a few things and asked if he was forgetting anything.
Crappy Baby says:
Glitter?
“We don’t get that at the market, sweetie. Do we need glitter?”
“What?”
Ah, cat litter!
I really hope he imagines it like this:
Because that is just beautiful.
I want a cat that poops on glitter.
————
Wait. A cat that poops on glitter is probably pretty snobby. Probably has a diamond collar and eats pâté out of Baccarat crystal dishes. He sounds expensive.
Also, glitter would be all over my house even more than it already is due to the project that I just did that I’ll tell you about later. Maybe after I change the cat glitter.*
*I don’t actually change the cat glitter. Crappy Papa does. He took over the litter job while I was on pregnancy leave and I never returned to work.
I, too, turned litter-box duty over to my husband the first time I got pregnant, and never took it back!
same for me, that is the way to do it!!
Same here!
Ditto
Yup, me too. Sorry honey…
me too but now my 14 does it … i will get her some glitter, maybe that will make her happier …?
And again! Defintely a trend.
I tried to have him do it, what with the risks of disease while preggo, and he just didn’t do it well enough and it stunk and it pissed me off … You know, cause I was f’ing *pregnant* … So I took it over again – *while* still pregnant.
For all the awesome my husband is, he truly sucks on this account. Boooooo
Lol
Me too! If I had to do it we wouldn’t have cats anymore!
Exactly!!
My hubby bought me a litter maid when i got preggo. He said that since i didnt touch or smell the litter i could still do it. Now i cant say enough how much i love littermaid boxes!!!!! my oldest is now 7. i have had to replace it once and i think that is pretty good!
Me too! I think I see a sneaky trend here…
Yep. Me too.
Yes, but I see it the other way. My husband keeps “forgetting” to take the trash out, which leaves me to scurry around in my pyjamas at 7am when the trucks start driving by. I think I’ve been had…
My husband takes out the trash but “forgets” to put in a new trash bag. Do you know how many gross things I’ve tossed in an empty can?!?
On the bright side, I too “gave up” litter box duty when pregnant… six years ago 😉
Why does my husband do that??? I would happily put it in myself, but preferably before I throw the eggshells in!
That would be why I “let” my 4 year old have the awesome job of putting a new liner in the trash can. As soon as she hears the trash can being emptied, she comes running for the privilege of putting a new liner in. 🙂
I think if they realized that once the chore was handed over to them, they would never be rid of it, they’d be more reluctant to do so. I mean, I know we have the whole health-hazard for the baby thing, but I would guess that the dh always thought I would go back to sharing the duty (!) once I was able, which made it an easier sacrifice. Joke’s on him!
me too!!! In addition to getting a great son, I got out of cat poop duty… being pregnant is great. 🙂
I wish! I was returned to doody duty as soon as those babies were out damn it!
Ditto. I think hubby was counting down the days even.
Same here. >.<
yup, me too! plus he has also returned to working away from home. if waited for him to get home to change the box we’d be in serious trouble 😛
Right there with you… mostly. He’s pretty bad about it so there have certainly been times I stepped in for the sake of everyone involved, but for a guy who hated cats before he met me he sure has cleaned out a lot of poop. Guess he really does love me 🙂
I thought my hubby was the only one who was that awesome! Woohoo for hubbies who change the litter!
Not me. I did it throughout both pregnancies and still do it. I’m missing out!
I feel your pain. It’s a wonder we survived the risks… Shame on our daddy husbands.
i’m with you. same predicament. so there i was with mask and gloves on, every day, good grief, do we ever get a break?? no.
now i am still doing it cause my two lazy daughters, who btw have cats of their very own that use the litter box too, will not do the task if their pathetic little lives depended on it.
ok, rant over. carry on.
Me too! Best “side effect” ever!
Yep. Same here. Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to work??
I never took back the duty either and will even stop doing laundry if he doesn’t do the litter often enough, super sensitive sense of smell & litter box close to laundry 😉
Same here!
I did as well. It’s his cat anyway.
I also turned it over when pregnant. My son is now 9, the first cat died, now we have a new cat and he still does the litter! Yay!
Ha! Me, too!
I took it back, when the youngest was like 3 or 4, but now our almost 8 year old does it! THAT’S why we had kids, right!
I laid it on really thick. When my husband decided he was ready to be a dad and I was not ready for kids I told my husband that he needed be the one to take care of the cat litter the whole time I was pregnant. Hint hint. He started doing it then just to prove he could take the hit.
Glad to know I’m not the only one!
The litter box is still his job!! 6 years later!! Suckers!
Me too! The husband tries to complain then I remind him that he doesn’t know how to cook.
LOL! I love the picture of the cat on the glitter! And I think having glitter around the house is a better option than the stupid cat litter they drag everywhere. See, now you’re giving me ideas…
Yes, it would be much prettier.
Prettier, maybe. But you know how glitter sticks to everything and you can’t get rid of it even if you use a high powered shop vac? Imagine said glitter stuck to everything after it was peed or pooped on. Can we say ewwww?
^^^ Yes. Glitter is a force of nature. DH doesn’t understand this yet. We have two boys, and the oldest (now 3) has only taken one art class, which only involved glitter on one day. Those paper plate projects are carefully stacked in a safe place where nobody will ever tread (the dining room table). I have protected him from glitter. One day it will breach my defenses and he will learn of his innocence. He might even thank me (ha).
Just this weekend my DH wanted to do a project that involved glitter with our 2 1/2 year old son. I eventually talked him into glitter glue instead of loose glitter. Disaster (hopefully) averted, for now…
I have a new glitter coat thanks to the stickiness! I threw my son’s daycare creations (multiple! all glittery!) at the seat of my car and then just kept throwing things on top of it. Hence my black glittery coat. Plus whoever now sits in the passenger seat will walk out with glittery butt 🙂
“Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.” -Demetri Martin
My college roommate told me that glitter was asexual. All you need is one little speck and before long you’ll find it everywhere.
Yeah with 2 girls, there is always glitter everywhere!! The dress up dresses that are uniform at our house shed that shit like crazy!! DH said “When do we get to de-glitter the house?” I said “Probably in about 15 years.” It is EV-RE-WHERE!
I love the comment about the glitter in her car seat, I feel ya hon! 🙂
I think what I like best is the wistful imagining expression that goes a long with the image of cat glitter.
I too love the imagining expression!! So cute!
(I however wish i had a cat that pooped glitter instead of in it)
If only my cat could POOP glitter.
My dog poops glitter poop (after he eats the foil off chocolate Easter Eggs or Christmas Kisses… fool dog is trying to kill himself…).
Similar, my childhood cat ate tinsel and had that once. Christmas poo.
But how did he not have a case of “tinsel-itis” after that?! ;-D
I have a traumatic memory of a long piece of tinsel trailing out behind my cat when I was little.
bwaahahah! oh the agony!!!
We had a dog that always ate the tinsel off of the Christmas tree…we used to say she was decorating the back lawn! 🙂
I had to pull tinsel out of my dogs but once…needless to say, tinsel was outlawed until the dog went to the green fields (covered in tinsel) in the sky!
Our dog occasionally has multicoloured poop from when the kids feed her crayons, and once, and NEVER again, a Thomas the Tank Engine poop. She learned quickly that just because the kids “gave” it to her, it wasn’t all yummy, and mommy didn’t always approve of either party.
Oh, ow 🙁 poor puppy – glad she got smarter!!
our dog once ate Easter grass, then we went out of town and my sister and bro in law dog sat. My bro in law still reminds us of how he pulled Easter grass out of the dogs butt….I feel very lucky to have missed this.
My 3 year old saw me looking at this and said “Mom! go back up! I just saw a cat sitting on glitter!”
Haha, that is great!
Christmas season brings out all sorts of possibilities. This week, my 4 y.o. said:
“Mom, we watched a scary movie at school about a guy named Scrinch who took everyone’s presents.”
and
“Mom, do you know where Jesus was born? In BETHLEHEM. Hahahahahahaha he was born from HAM!”
I’m going to be bored once the holidays are over, I just know it.
Well, Crappy Boy had his cards… is this Crappy Baby’s big marketing opportunity? “Kitty Glitter, making your sh!t shine” 🙂
This instantly made me imagine my kid eating the glitter (which of course he would) and then pooping shiny sh!t 🙂
Nice marketing!
ROFLMAO!
I want to poop on glitter! I think if cats pooped on glitter, I might have to get one. Kids are awesome.
I like how the cat looks slightly disturbed and snooty all at the same time sitting on his glitter mound.
All right “FreshStep”! Get on it! I expect to see bags of pine scent-ed, scoopable glitter on the shelves by mid-July!
ME TOO! I want one! So much prettier than litter! My cat is already stuck up. Can’t get much worse than her attitude. I would arrange a trade.
I also took leave from the litter duty when I was pregnant and never went back to work 🙂 I don’t think I could do it without gagging now…hahah!
Oh how I adore crappy baby’s expression while he’s imagining kitty pooping on litter!
That is just beautiful. makes me want to get a cat.
My son thinks people who throw their trash everywhere are “glittering”!! 🙂
Lmao!
That is lovely! I picture people just dusting the land with glitter.
My 5yo daughter also thinks this 🙂
If only that was what it looked like when they littered!
ah no! I so hate glitter, it is the herpes of the craft world!
I so agree. I despise getting cards in the mail with glitter on them. I do noy want glitter in my house.
I thought only my friend called it craft herpes! I had craft herpes last week. My daughter had it all over her and she was napping while my son and I did the craft.
We are some sneaky chicks! I too, gave up the litter-changing duties when I was pregnant last year and never took it back. I might consider taking it back if my cat pooped in glitter.
Haha!! Classic!
And I love the old switcha-rooo of the cat litter duties, it was a glorious day when I handed that job over to my hubby. 🙂
My husband also took over the cat litter when I became pregnant over 2 years ago. I’ve quietly let him continue.
I feel that it is relevant to mention that YOU TO could poop glitter.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/10/gold-poop-pills-tobias-wong_n_2272605.html
Um, wow. Just wow.
All that glitters is definitely NOT gold!
That picture of the cat pooping on glitter is awesome!
What if your cat pooped glitter? Hmm still weird.
I hated changing the litter box when I was younger.
oh, that’s so funny. you always make me laugh, but every once in awhile, you have a post that just ‘speaks to me’. this one has tears rolling down my cheeks! i’m going to be chuckling all day!
We got a cat after I had my two boys, might have to have another baby to escape cat litter duty lol. 🙂
That might be one of the best reasons for having a baby that I’ve ever heard 🙂
Haha the same thing happened in my house with the cat litter duties.
If there was a cat litter brand called Kitty Glitter, I’d buy it no questions asked. I’m a sucker for that sort of thing.
Same here. I’ve just quietly let DH keep to litter duties. I figure if I have another baby after DS turns two I can get out of litter duty until baby #1 is in about the second grade.
I think it’s great that the kid is already focusing on household essentials. Good job, Crappy Mama!
OMG! I thought I was the only one with a kid that thought cats use “cat glitter”. I once caught him digging in the cat box looking for the “cat glitter”!!!
I gave up cat litter duty while pregnant *five years ago* and I have never looked back… There are occasional grumbles from hubby about doing the job, but being a mom I have gotten really good and ignoring grumbling I don’t care to listen to. Not even glitter could lure me back to that job! 🙂
I milked the ‘i don’t have to clean the cat box because i’m pregnant’ for a loooooong time. I have still avoided it 2 years later because I told him I can’t do the box and nurse our son, just like pregnancy. And now I’m nursing our son AND pregnant again so boom – I’m not going to have to clean up cat poop for at least another 3 ish years or whenever the babies decide to wean. Hopefully he doesn’t research this hahaha!
Best look I ever got? Checking out of Target with just two brooms and a jumbo tub of glitter. And I didn’t even have a cat…
I love your husbands hair….is he European? Just wondering since he is wearing a green speedo…LOVE
“*I don’t actually change the cat glitter. Crappy Papa does. He took over the litter job while I was on pregnancy leave and I never returned to work. ”
Bahahaha I took an extended leave of absence also >:] no poopy cat for me, glitter or not!
My husband is in charge of the litter also. He is deployed right now and the first thing I bought was one of the auto clean boxes lol
My Daughter (4) has called the litter box a “glitter box” ever since we watched the movie “Puss in Boots”! They have a cat bar there called the Glitter Box and that is where she got it!
I believe that glitter glue/paint is the solution to not having too much glitter mess (I even blogged about it yesterday – http://www.conqueringcrafts.com/2012/12/pine-cones-glitter-christmassy.html – but might be delusional!). Also, on the subject of poop and glitter – when they suspected that one of the female hippos was pregnant in Dublin Zoo, they put glitter in her food so they could identify her poo in order to pregnancy test it!
That. That is fascinating!! The things you learn reading a comment thread. Awesome. 🙂
(Side note to anyone: what does DH and DS stand for?)
Husband and Son
But is the D for “dear” or “damn”?
Yes I got that it was husband and son, but remain clueless on what the D stands for. Serious. Daddy Husband?
I also saw OH and OS the other day. What the what?
This post is so funny AND ironic. We don’t have cats, so my boys don’t know what kitty litter (or glitter) is. We were visiting my husband’s aunt, who has an 18 year old cat (I won’t go into that though). My 3 year old kept telling me to come look at the “ice”. I finally realized he was talking about the cat-box full of kitty litter that looked like glittery ice-crystals. I kid you not. If I didn’t stop him.. he was about to go stick his hands in it. So there is kitty litter out there that is “glittery”. 🙂 I must say.. it is very pretty. lol
My fiance is in charge of changing our ferret’s litter boxes. Good practice for when I’m preggo and can’t touch animal poop. 🙂
You have got to love kids and their misunderstandings of words. We got my almost 3 yr old daughter one of those little cars that you sit in and push yourself around in Flintstones style this summer. The first time she played in it, shop promptly hopped out of it and started picking pieces of grass and clover and shoving it in the little flip open slot on the side. Wasn’t sure why, but she seemed happy enough. “Look, Mommy!” she finally exclaimed proudly. “I putting grass in the car like you!”
I think you under estimate your partners memory.especially the part where he said i don’t want a cat and you promised to take care of everything…we don’t forget that. You would be better to broach the subject and make it up to him or compromise. This whole i got away with it thing makes you sound very vindictive.
You push a living child out of our vagina and them we can talk compromise.
Word, Chrystal.
And was he right? Did you need cat glitter?
My husband dumped cat litter duty back on me at the earliest, possible convenience. HE never looked back. I delivered the twins via Csection and then when my 6 weeks were up, he was DONE! I refuse to get anymore animals after these ones die.
Since my husband and I both hated changing the cat glitter, we bought a Cat Genie. It flushes the poo and washes and dries the litter.. which it calls “Granules” and we never have to scoop or buy or mess with litter again. It’s AMAZING. catgenie.com. Go get one.
I just want to say how much I absolutely enjoy and look forward to your new posts. No clue why I even follow you — I’m not married and don’t have any kids! haha! Still though. Just wanted to tell you you’re a delight! Merry Christmas to the Crappy Family! <3
When I remarried, my husband also had a cat, so he was no stranger to litter duty. We struck a bargain… he deals with cat poop, I do the dishes. We have a dishwasher. Best deal ever.
My 4 year old daughter says the same thing! “We need more glitter for Jade.” I haven’t corrected her because it’s so cute. What’s not so cute is that when she was 3, she asked me if she could scoop the cat glitter. I avoided saying “no” by saying that you can’t do that until you’re 5 (thinking surely she wouldn’t remember when the time came). Still to this day she says she can’t wait to be 5 so she can scoop glitter. Oy.
We always call it cat glitter. That way when the cat comes out with it all over her face, we can assume she was purposely trying to look beautiful instead of being too stupid to keep it where it belongs.
I too foisted cat litter duty off on my husband when I was pregnant – 16 years ago! Do I set the record here?
That’s funny – my hubby and I were just musing the other day how glitter and litter are both like herpes (he called them ‘herpetic’) because once they’re in your house, they’re everywhere and you can never get rid of them. Glitter, the herpes of crafting supplies, and litter, the herpes of pet care. Ah, gotta love them.
Me too!!!! I brought the cat to our relationship so everything cat related was pretty much up to me. Hubby took over changing the (g)litter when I was pregnant and a year later is still doing it 🙂 Maybe as a thank you I’ll really add glitter to it – it might brighten his day!!
Rather than regarding any future pregnancies as a reprieve from litter management, I will simply refrain from ever getting a cat.
Thanks for the choice glitter visual, though.
My 5yo insists it is called “glitter” too….tho’ I figured he picked that up from “puss in boots” where they are doing the “glitter box dance” …the ‘G’ is burned out in the movie.
LOVE the picture of your glitter box 😀
Oh boy. The words “glitter box” give me a different visual ENTIRELY. o_O
Just plain awesome hehe … “glitter” hehe
Good work I’ve never come off cat litter duty since pregnancy either – when hubby is leaving on a work trip “have you changed the cat litter??” Is what he is serenaded with as he walks out the door…
My cat is already the queen of the house – she would really get a complex if she started getting glitter in her box to poop on!
Hahaa…lovely the kitty glitter picture!
My cat became an outdoor cat after my first pregnancy…my OH gradually put her litter closer and closer to the door, til she was pooping on the porch step, then the litter tray disappeared! Poor kitty!
That’s what we do….gradually, without their knowledge, make them outside cats. hahaha, suckas!
Another beautiful non-crappy picture. Only you could bring cat glitter to life with whichever rudimentary drawing thing it is you use. You are an *artiste*.
Yes, hubby takes care of the litter so that the baby doesn’t have birth defects. Nevermind that the babies are now 4 & 6 😀
Glitter would be so much prettier, I agree. But yes, only for a posh kitty. That one would probably hog the pillow and turn her nose up at even the pricey vet foods, too.
Ha! My kids (7 & 5) both call it cat glitter. I haven’t corrected them as it makes me smile every time. I also picture it as Crappy Baby does which makes it all the more pleasant.
I love the difference between crappy baby’s awake and asleep face – they still do look so angelic asleep whatever little monsters or serious frowny thinkers they have been all day…
All this talk of glitter reminds me that I was staring at a dot of glitter on my hubbies cheek tonight as he came in to tell me about the interesting and important business talk he’d been to tonight, probably lodged there earlier this evening when he was helping with the munchkins supper (our crappy baby was chewing a glittery christmas bauble with his meal). My husband is very dark skinned as he has west african roots so it really stood out. If I hadn’t been so tired maybe I should have told him about it. I wonder if I will remember to check tomorrow, or if he is destined to go off to all sort of other important business meeting with a glitter dot mid-cheek for his interlocutors to stare at like I did. Hopefully it will just rub off on the pillow tonight.
Me too! He’s better at it:-) Isn’t that what you are supposed to say instead of “I don’t want to”?
PS: I would like a cat that poops on glitter. It sounds like a Ke$ha song!
I’m married to another woman, the second I got clearance from the drs after my c-section i was back on litter duty. Damn it.
Hahahaha! My husband, too, took over cat litter duty four years ago when we were TRYING to conceive with fertility drugs. I was consumed with the idea that I had to STOP all interactions with the cat litter the MOMENT I was pregnant! Our son is now two and we’re expecting our second in April!! I hope to NEVER return to cat litter duty again…
By the way, congrats on both of your pregnancies! 🙂
Anyone who poops in glitter should wear Versace.
I seriously want to take that cat pooping on glitter picture and make that my Facebook profile picture. May I?
That is so cute!!
I love it, I love it. The picture of the kitty is priceless. Thanks for the laugh.
I love crappy babys face when he’s (maybe) thinking of the glitter. Cute, as always, Amber! Devan
Couldn’t help but think of this reading your post.
A friend of mine recently came across a product called “shit glitter” – a little capsule of gold leaf which if you swallow it, apparently you poo glitter. Not cheap though, $425US. I poo you not, google it!
Bet it still stinks but.
lol. that is awesome 🙂
I made it very clear to my Husband when we first moved in together that, as he brought the cat with him, he was in charge of ALL “glitter” duties. I took over for a short time when he had his leg in a cast, but other than that, we have been living together for 14 years now, and he still has the “glitter” duties for our dear (very) old kitty.
Hahah, glitter. What a great mental picture.
LOL! I already have enough glitter all over the house from when my teenaged sisters in law come to visit — I can’t imagine all three cats dragging it around, too. I also gave up the littler boxes when I was pregnant with my first son and never looked back — never again! Also, when these cats are gone, I’m never owning another animal that poops indoors — what was I thinking? Or maybe I’ll just never own an animal that poops. Yeah, that sounds better.
I would totally be a cat if I could poo on glitter.
Is it wrong that I am totally in love with Crappy Baby can we be best friends?
Glitter, the herpes of the craft work o_O
bwahaha!
i need to work this into a conversation today…
Two things:
How you got colors on a computer screen to look like glitter is a mystery to me, but it does.
They put glitter in my daughters hair in ballet and it takes WEEKS to come out. So I picture sparkly cat hair too – might be messy but oh so pretty! 🙂
I usually share these with my husband, but I’m afraid this will remind him that I never came back from pregnancy leave either, especially when he sees the trend among your commenters. He will have that “hey, wait a sec here!” moment and I’ll find myself once again weilding the dreaded shit-sand spoon. ;P
I also never took back cat litter duty, but it’s ok because the cat is totally his now. I find it kind of funny since I was the one who wanted the cat and he was totally against it since he was allergic and had never had anything before except a fish growing up. He had done years of those allergy desensitizing shots before I had met him though. They worked because now the cat sleeps in our bed sometimes even, he just can’t touch his eyes after petting the cat. It’s funny because he doesn’t just do the litter, he totally babies the cat, feeds him, gives him supplements, toys, and is the one to take him to the vet. It’s awesome since I just don’t have the energy anymore now that we have our LO.
My husband is yet another victim of the “sorry, preggos can’t shovel cat crap” rule too. He took over as soon as we started trying. I haven’t scooped poop in about 5 years! Bliss. 🙂
Haha this cracks me up. As for the animals pooping tinsel… My dog managed to get into my crafting supplies (dozens of home made earrings, and some very pretty beads) yeah, he crapped sparkly beads for days!
I wish my manwife had taken over the cat glitter when I was pregnant. Instead I had to don gloves and do it myself. Clearly my manwife is badly trained. Someone please send theirs over here to teach mine in the manly ways of glitter tray cleaning! (btw, I shall now always call it a glitter tray!)
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haha my husband also took on the litter job when i was pregnant with our first 3+years ago! I have never scooped a poop since 🙂
My darling 5 year old daughter said that her dad needs to get a “glitter box” for their new kittens. I too have the image of what you portray above. A perfect world of fuzzy white kittens pooping on a colorful array of glitter. And the smell of cherries and appleblossoms fill the air when they are done. Yes, and the glitter box fairy cleans it regularly. *sigh* Pefection.
To be honest we had some pretty shiny cat litter. It was a bit like smoky glass.
Same here, went on Maternity leave & just never came back.. he wines about it sometimes.. then I remind him who got the cat in the first place..
There is actually a gambling slot machine called Kitty Glitter!
http://www.kitty-glitter.com/
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I don’t know if someone from Disney reads your blog… But my daughter was watching one of her shows last week and the little girl was going to market kitty glitter!