Don’t Forget the Glitter

The other day Crappy Papa was heading to the market for a few things and asked if he was forgetting anything.

Crappy Baby says:

Glitter?

“We don’t get that at the market, sweetie. Do we need glitter?”

“What?”

Ah, cat litter!

I really hope he imagines it like this:

Because that is just beautiful.

I want a cat that poops on glitter.

 

————

Wait. A cat that poops on glitter is probably pretty snobby. Probably has a diamond collar and eats pâté out of Baccarat crystal dishes. He sounds expensive. 

Also, glitter would be all over my house even more than it already is due to the project that I just did that I’ll tell you about later. Maybe after I change the cat glitter.*

*I don’t actually change the cat glitter. Crappy Papa does. He took over the litter job while I was on pregnancy leave and I never returned to work. 

 

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169 Responses to Don’t Forget the Glitter

  1. Mara says:

    I, too, turned litter-box duty over to my husband the first time I got pregnant, and never took it back!

  2. Andrea says:

    LOL! I love the picture of the cat on the glitter! And I think having glitter around the house is a better option than the stupid cat litter they drag everywhere. See, now you’re giving me ideas…

    • amber says:

      Yes, it would be much prettier.

      • Janet says:

        Prettier, maybe. But you know how glitter sticks to everything and you can’t get rid of it even if you use a high powered shop vac? Imagine said glitter stuck to everything after it was peed or pooped on. Can we say ewwww?

        • Lori says:

          ^^^ Yes. Glitter is a force of nature. DH doesn’t understand this yet. We have two boys, and the oldest (now 3) has only taken one art class, which only involved glitter on one day. Those paper plate projects are carefully stacked in a safe place where nobody will ever tread (the dining room table). I have protected him from glitter. One day it will breach my defenses and he will learn of his innocence. He might even thank me (ha).

          • Frances says:

            Just this weekend my DH wanted to do a project that involved glitter with our 2 1/2 year old son. I eventually talked him into glitter glue instead of loose glitter. Disaster (hopefully) averted, for now…

        • Andrea says:

          I have a new glitter coat thanks to the stickiness! I threw my son’s daycare creations (multiple! all glittery!) at the seat of my car and then just kept throwing things on top of it. Hence my black glittery coat. Plus whoever now sits in the passenger seat will walk out with glittery butt 🙂

    • “Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.” -Demetri Martin

      • BlueAdagio says:

        My college roommate told me that glitter was asexual. All you need is one little speck and before long you’ll find it everywhere.

    • Devan says:

      Yeah with 2 girls, there is always glitter everywhere!! The dress up dresses that are uniform at our house shed that shit like crazy!! DH said “When do we get to de-glitter the house?” I said “Probably in about 15 years.” It is EV-RE-WHERE!
      I love the comment about the glitter in her car seat, I feel ya hon! 🙂

  3. I think what I like best is the wistful imagining expression that goes a long with the image of cat glitter.

  4. If only my cat could POOP glitter.

  5. michelle says:

    My 3 year old saw me looking at this and said “Mom! go back up! I just saw a cat sitting on glitter!”

  6. Christmas season brings out all sorts of possibilities. This week, my 4 y.o. said:

    “Mom, we watched a scary movie at school about a guy named Scrinch who took everyone’s presents.”

    and

    “Mom, do you know where Jesus was born? In BETHLEHEM. Hahahahahahaha he was born from HAM!”

    I’m going to be bored once the holidays are over, I just know it.

  7. Robonanny says:

    Well, Crappy Boy had his cards… is this Crappy Baby’s big marketing opportunity? “Kitty Glitter, making your sh!t shine” 🙂

  8. emily says:

    I want to poop on glitter! I think if cats pooped on glitter, I might have to get one. Kids are awesome.

  9. I like how the cat looks slightly disturbed and snooty all at the same time sitting on his glitter mound.

    All right “FreshStep”! Get on it! I expect to see bags of pine scent-ed, scoopable glitter on the shelves by mid-July!

  10. ME TOO! I want one! So much prettier than litter! My cat is already stuck up. Can’t get much worse than her attitude. I would arrange a trade.

  11. The Conner Clan says:

    I also took leave from the litter duty when I was pregnant and never went back to work 🙂 I don’t think I could do it without gagging now…hahah!

  12. Melissa says:

    Oh how I adore crappy baby’s expression while he’s imagining kitty pooping on litter!

  13. Shea says:

    That is just beautiful. makes me want to get a cat.

  14. Patti says:

    My son thinks people who throw their trash everywhere are “glittering”!! 🙂

  15. krystal says:

    ah no! I so hate glitter, it is the herpes of the craft world!

    • Shelley West says:

      I so agree. I despise getting cards in the mail with glitter on them. I do noy want glitter in my house.

    • Connie says:

      I thought only my friend called it craft herpes! I had craft herpes last week. My daughter had it all over her and she was napping while my son and I did the craft.

  16. We are some sneaky chicks! I too, gave up the litter-changing duties when I was pregnant last year and never took it back. I might consider taking it back if my cat pooped in glitter.

  17. Megan says:

    Haha!! Classic!
    And I love the old switcha-rooo of the cat litter duties, it was a glorious day when I handed that job over to my hubby. 🙂

  18. Jenny says:

    My husband also took over the cat litter when I became pregnant over 2 years ago. I’ve quietly let him continue.

  19. Sara says:

    I feel that it is relevant to mention that YOU TO could poop glitter.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/10/gold-poop-pills-tobias-wong_n_2272605.html

  20. Jenn says:

    All that glitters is definitely NOT gold!

  21. tara says:

    That picture of the cat pooping on glitter is awesome!

    What if your cat pooped glitter? Hmm still weird.

    I hated changing the litter box when I was younger.

  22. rachel says:

    oh, that’s so funny. you always make me laugh, but every once in awhile, you have a post that just ‘speaks to me’. this one has tears rolling down my cheeks! i’m going to be chuckling all day!

  23. jen says:

    We got a cat after I had my two boys, might have to have another baby to escape cat litter duty lol. 🙂

  24. Salt says:

    Haha the same thing happened in my house with the cat litter duties.

    If there was a cat litter brand called Kitty Glitter, I’d buy it no questions asked. I’m a sucker for that sort of thing.

  25. Ange says:

    Same here. I’ve just quietly let DH keep to litter duties. I figure if I have another baby after DS turns two I can get out of litter duty until baby #1 is in about the second grade.

  26. Jenn says:

    I think it’s great that the kid is already focusing on household essentials. Good job, Crappy Mama!

  27. Tracy J says:

    OMG! I thought I was the only one with a kid that thought cats use “cat glitter”. I once caught him digging in the cat box looking for the “cat glitter”!!!

  28. MJ says:

    I gave up cat litter duty while pregnant *five years ago* and I have never looked back… There are occasional grumbles from hubby about doing the job, but being a mom I have gotten really good and ignoring grumbling I don’t care to listen to. Not even glitter could lure me back to that job! 🙂

  29. Rebekah Knisely says:

    I milked the ‘i don’t have to clean the cat box because i’m pregnant’ for a loooooong time. I have still avoided it 2 years later because I told him I can’t do the box and nurse our son, just like pregnancy. And now I’m nursing our son AND pregnant again so boom – I’m not going to have to clean up cat poop for at least another 3 ish years or whenever the babies decide to wean. Hopefully he doesn’t research this hahaha!

  30. Rosanne C says:

    Best look I ever got? Checking out of Target with just two brooms and a jumbo tub of glitter. And I didn’t even have a cat…

  31. kerryb says:

    I love your husbands hair….is he European? Just wondering since he is wearing a green speedo…LOVE

  32. Nora says:

    “*I don’t actually change the cat glitter. Crappy Papa does. He took over the litter job while I was on pregnancy leave and I never returned to work. ”
    Bahahaha I took an extended leave of absence also >:] no poopy cat for me, glitter or not!

  33. Brianne Birman says:

    My husband is in charge of the litter also. He is deployed right now and the first thing I bought was one of the auto clean boxes lol

  34. Krista Hanna says:

    My Daughter (4) has called the litter box a “glitter box” ever since we watched the movie “Puss in Boots”! They have a cat bar there called the Glitter Box and that is where she got it!

  35. Madeleine says:

    I believe that glitter glue/paint is the solution to not having too much glitter mess (I even blogged about it yesterday – http://www.conqueringcrafts.com/2012/12/pine-cones-glitter-christmassy.html – but might be delusional!). Also, on the subject of poop and glitter – when they suspected that one of the female hippos was pregnant in Dublin Zoo, they put glitter in her food so they could identify her poo in order to pregnancy test it!

  36. Erin says:

    This post is so funny AND ironic. We don’t have cats, so my boys don’t know what kitty litter (or glitter) is. We were visiting my husband’s aunt, who has an 18 year old cat (I won’t go into that though). My 3 year old kept telling me to come look at the “ice”. I finally realized he was talking about the cat-box full of kitty litter that looked like glittery ice-crystals. I kid you not. If I didn’t stop him.. he was about to go stick his hands in it. So there is kitty litter out there that is “glittery”. 🙂 I must say.. it is very pretty. lol

  37. Meri says:

    My fiance is in charge of changing our ferret’s litter boxes. Good practice for when I’m preggo and can’t touch animal poop. 🙂

  38. Lissa says:

    You have got to love kids and their misunderstandings of words. We got my almost 3 yr old daughter one of those little cars that you sit in and push yourself around in Flintstones style this summer. The first time she played in it, shop promptly hopped out of it and started picking pieces of grass and clover and shoving it in the little flip open slot on the side. Wasn’t sure why, but she seemed happy enough. “Look, Mommy!” she finally exclaimed proudly. “I putting grass in the car like you!”

  39. ian wrigley says:

    I think you under estimate your partners memory.especially the part where he said i don’t want a cat and you promised to take care of everything…we don’t forget that. You would be better to broach the subject and make it up to him or compromise. This whole i got away with it thing makes you sound very vindictive.

  40. Julie says:

    And was he right? Did you need cat glitter?

  41. Rigel says:

    My husband dumped cat litter duty back on me at the earliest, possible convenience. HE never looked back. I delivered the twins via Csection and then when my 6 weeks were up, he was DONE! I refuse to get anymore animals after these ones die.

  42. Michelle says:

    Since my husband and I both hated changing the cat glitter, we bought a Cat Genie. It flushes the poo and washes and dries the litter.. which it calls “Granules” and we never have to scoop or buy or mess with litter again. It’s AMAZING. catgenie.com. Go get one.

  43. A says:

    I just want to say how much I absolutely enjoy and look forward to your new posts. No clue why I even follow you — I’m not married and don’t have any kids! haha! Still though. Just wanted to tell you you’re a delight! Merry Christmas to the Crappy Family! <3

  44. Candi says:

    When I remarried, my husband also had a cat, so he was no stranger to litter duty. We struck a bargain… he deals with cat poop, I do the dishes. We have a dishwasher. Best deal ever.

  45. Missy says:

    My 4 year old daughter says the same thing! “We need more glitter for Jade.” I haven’t corrected her because it’s so cute. What’s not so cute is that when she was 3, she asked me if she could scoop the cat glitter. I avoided saying “no” by saying that you can’t do that until you’re 5 (thinking surely she wouldn’t remember when the time came). Still to this day she says she can’t wait to be 5 so she can scoop glitter. Oy.

  46. Jessica Marie says:

    We always call it cat glitter. That way when the cat comes out with it all over her face, we can assume she was purposely trying to look beautiful instead of being too stupid to keep it where it belongs.

  47. DonnaB says:

    I too foisted cat litter duty off on my husband when I was pregnant – 16 years ago! Do I set the record here?

  48. Stephanie says:

    That’s funny – my hubby and I were just musing the other day how glitter and litter are both like herpes (he called them ‘herpetic’) because once they’re in your house, they’re everywhere and you can never get rid of them. Glitter, the herpes of crafting supplies, and litter, the herpes of pet care. Ah, gotta love them.

  49. Amanda says:

    Me too!!!! I brought the cat to our relationship so everything cat related was pretty much up to me. Hubby took over changing the (g)litter when I was pregnant and a year later is still doing it 🙂 Maybe as a thank you I’ll really add glitter to it – it might brighten his day!!

  50. Rather than regarding any future pregnancies as a reprieve from litter management, I will simply refrain from ever getting a cat.

    Thanks for the choice glitter visual, though.

  51. jen says:

    My 5yo insists it is called “glitter” too….tho’ I figured he picked that up from “puss in boots” where they are doing the “glitter box dance” …the ‘G’ is burned out in the movie.

    LOVE the picture of your glitter box 😀

  52. Steph says:

    Just plain awesome hehe … “glitter” hehe

  53. Rach says:

    Good work I’ve never come off cat litter duty since pregnancy either – when hubby is leaving on a work trip “have you changed the cat litter??” Is what he is serenaded with as he walks out the door…

  54. Lorien says:

    My cat is already the queen of the house – she would really get a complex if she started getting glitter in her box to poop on!

  55. Rosa says:

    Hahaa…lovely the kitty glitter picture!

    My cat became an outdoor cat after my first pregnancy…my OH gradually put her litter closer and closer to the door, til she was pooping on the porch step, then the litter tray disappeared! Poor kitty!

  56. Darcie says:

    Another beautiful non-crappy picture. Only you could bring cat glitter to life with whichever rudimentary drawing thing it is you use. You are an *artiste*.

  57. Rainyday says:

    Yes, hubby takes care of the litter so that the baby doesn’t have birth defects. Nevermind that the babies are now 4 & 6 😀

  58. Rainyday says:

    Glitter would be so much prettier, I agree. But yes, only for a posh kitty. That one would probably hog the pillow and turn her nose up at even the pricey vet foods, too.

  59. Amanda says:

    Ha! My kids (7 & 5) both call it cat glitter. I haven’t corrected them as it makes me smile every time. I also picture it as Crappy Baby does which makes it all the more pleasant.

  60. Briony says:

    I love the difference between crappy baby’s awake and asleep face – they still do look so angelic asleep whatever little monsters or serious frowny thinkers they have been all day…

    All this talk of glitter reminds me that I was staring at a dot of glitter on my hubbies cheek tonight as he came in to tell me about the interesting and important business talk he’d been to tonight, probably lodged there earlier this evening when he was helping with the munchkins supper (our crappy baby was chewing a glittery christmas bauble with his meal). My husband is very dark skinned as he has west african roots so it really stood out. If I hadn’t been so tired maybe I should have told him about it. I wonder if I will remember to check tomorrow, or if he is destined to go off to all sort of other important business meeting with a glitter dot mid-cheek for his interlocutors to stare at like I did. Hopefully it will just rub off on the pillow tonight.

  61. Amy says:

    Me too! He’s better at it:-) Isn’t that what you are supposed to say instead of “I don’t want to”?

    PS: I would like a cat that poops on glitter. It sounds like a Ke$ha song!

  62. marissa says:

    I’m married to another woman, the second I got clearance from the drs after my c-section i was back on litter duty. Damn it.

  63. Leigh Dever says:

    Hahahaha! My husband, too, took over cat litter duty four years ago when we were TRYING to conceive with fertility drugs. I was consumed with the idea that I had to STOP all interactions with the cat litter the MOMENT I was pregnant! Our son is now two and we’re expecting our second in April!! I hope to NEVER return to cat litter duty again…

  64. Katia says:

    Anyone who poops in glitter should wear Versace.

  65. KDawg says:

    I seriously want to take that cat pooping on glitter picture and make that my Facebook profile picture. May I?

  66. I love it, I love it. The picture of the kitty is priceless. Thanks for the laugh.

  67. Devan says:

    I love crappy babys face when he’s (maybe) thinking of the glitter. Cute, as always, Amber! Devan

  68. Kara says:

    Couldn’t help but think of this reading your post.
    A friend of mine recently came across a product called “shit glitter” – a little capsule of gold leaf which if you swallow it, apparently you poo glitter. Not cheap though, $425US. I poo you not, google it!
    Bet it still stinks but.

  69. Francine says:

    I made it very clear to my Husband when we first moved in together that, as he brought the cat with him, he was in charge of ALL “glitter” duties. I took over for a short time when he had his leg in a cast, but other than that, we have been living together for 14 years now, and he still has the “glitter” duties for our dear (very) old kitty.

  70. Mercy says:

    Hahah, glitter. What a great mental picture.

  71. Kelly @ Creating a Family Home says:

    LOL! I already have enough glitter all over the house from when my teenaged sisters in law come to visit — I can’t imagine all three cats dragging it around, too. I also gave up the littler boxes when I was pregnant with my first son and never looked back — never again! Also, when these cats are gone, I’m never owning another animal that poops indoors — what was I thinking? Or maybe I’ll just never own an animal that poops. Yeah, that sounds better.

  72. Mel MOSS says:

    I would totally be a cat if I could poo on glitter.

    Is it wrong that I am totally in love with Crappy Baby can we be best friends?

  73. Kristin V says:

    Glitter, the herpes of the craft work o_O

  74. Kim says:

    Two things:

    How you got colors on a computer screen to look like glitter is a mystery to me, but it does.

    They put glitter in my daughters hair in ballet and it takes WEEKS to come out. So I picture sparkly cat hair too – might be messy but oh so pretty! 🙂

  75. dreamyowl says:

    I usually share these with my husband, but I’m afraid this will remind him that I never came back from pregnancy leave either, especially when he sees the trend among your commenters. He will have that “hey, wait a sec here!” moment and I’ll find myself once again weilding the dreaded shit-sand spoon. ;P

  76. Tracy says:

    I also never took back cat litter duty, but it’s ok because the cat is totally his now. I find it kind of funny since I was the one who wanted the cat and he was totally against it since he was allergic and had never had anything before except a fish growing up. He had done years of those allergy desensitizing shots before I had met him though. They worked because now the cat sleeps in our bed sometimes even, he just can’t touch his eyes after petting the cat. It’s funny because he doesn’t just do the litter, he totally babies the cat, feeds him, gives him supplements, toys, and is the one to take him to the vet. It’s awesome since I just don’t have the energy anymore now that we have our LO.

  77. My husband is yet another victim of the “sorry, preggos can’t shovel cat crap” rule too. He took over as soon as we started trying. I haven’t scooped poop in about 5 years! Bliss. 🙂

  78. Jess Erin says:

    Haha this cracks me up. As for the animals pooping tinsel… My dog managed to get into my crafting supplies (dozens of home made earrings, and some very pretty beads) yeah, he crapped sparkly beads for days!

  79. Caz says:

    I wish my manwife had taken over the cat glitter when I was pregnant. Instead I had to don gloves and do it myself. Clearly my manwife is badly trained. Someone please send theirs over here to teach mine in the manly ways of glitter tray cleaning! (btw, I shall now always call it a glitter tray!)

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  81. Lindsey says:

    haha my husband also took on the litter job when i was pregnant with our first 3+years ago! I have never scooped a poop since 🙂

  82. Trisha F. says:

    My darling 5 year old daughter said that her dad needs to get a “glitter box” for their new kittens. I too have the image of what you portray above. A perfect world of fuzzy white kittens pooping on a colorful array of glitter. And the smell of cherries and appleblossoms fill the air when they are done. Yes, and the glitter box fairy cleans it regularly. *sigh* Pefection.

  83. Natta says:

    To be honest we had some pretty shiny cat litter. It was a bit like smoky glass.

  84. Christina says:

    Same here, went on Maternity leave & just never came back.. he wines about it sometimes.. then I remind him who got the cat in the first place..

  85. Kim says:

    There is actually a gambling slot machine called Kitty Glitter!

    http://www.kitty-glitter.com/

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  87. Kat says:

    I don’t know if someone from Disney reads your blog… But my daughter was watching one of her shows last week and the little girl was going to market kitty glitter!

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