mama needs a break

Hi. I have mono. You know, the "kissing disease" that teenagers get? That makes them sick for three weeks? And then they stay home from school and sleep a lot and watch TV and it is actually pretty awesome?

It isn't awesome as an adult. 

Apparently, the mononucleosis virus mistook me for a teenager. I know, common mistake. 

And I didn't even get it by kissing somebody. Double lame-o points for mono. 


Going to the doctor (I thought I had strep throat initially) and discovering you have mono is like kicking a horse while it is down. Is that the way that saying goes? I don't know. I have mono. 

The doctor tells me that recovery from mono can take anywhere from 3 weeks to 3 months. I have to get lots and lots and lots of rest. That the more rest I get the faster I'll recover.

In other words, I'll have mono for at least four years. 

I got a nice little doctor note that says I have mono and need rest. You know, to give to my employer.

I don't think my doctor knows who I work for.

After the fever and sore throat from hell wore off I'm now left with crippling exhaustion. More than usual, that is.

I'm basically a non-functioning human being. And unfortunately, I have kids. 

They love it when I'm sick. At least at first. Hours and hours of DVD watching plus all-you-can-eat cereal buffet? A little slice of kid paradise. 

Their eyes blissfully glaze over, while Kiki and Gigi chatter on. But eventually, even the best movies get old.  

And soon they run out of cereal because it is all on the floor.

So they invent other things to do:


And I realize that after several days of this and no miraculous high-speed recovery on my part, it is time to call in the reinforcements.

The grandparents swoop in for the rescue. They come over and do wonderful things like feed them and change their clothes and talk to them. 

So why am I telling you all of this?

Well. Instead of writing posts while I have extra help, I'm actually going to take time off. And that includes time off from this here little blog.  


Besides. I have mono. It says so right here in my note. 

Yawn. See you next week.  



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220 Responses to mama needs a break

  1. Angie says:

    Laughing my ass off at “doc doesn’t know who you work for”!!! So true but so sorry. Feel better quick because I need more crappy!

  2. Carrie says:

    AAGGHH! Mono SUCKS. Good luck with the “getting lots of rest” part, I’ll miss the crappy pictures while you’re away!

  3. Melanie says:

    Oh no!! I had mono at a good and proper age of, uh, 13 or something, and I agree it would be majorly sucky at this point in life! Get well soon!

  4. HeatherW says:

    Oh no, I hope you feel better soon! Your post made me laugh but I feel a little torn laughing at you being sick! I had mono about ten years ago, yes before kids and it was horrible. I can’t imagine having it now.

  5. Kris says:

    I had mono when I was 22…it was no fun. I could barely get out of bed! My head hurt and all I wanted to do was sleep. Thankfully, I didn’t have kids at the time.
    Take it easy and rest up on your week off. Glad you have some help! Feel better soon!

  6. Sarah A says:

    ugh – feel better!

  7. I’m so sorry! get lots of sleep!

  8. Lenore says:

    Oh noooo!!!! I had mono when I was 19. I went to stay at my parents house so the whole dorm wouldn’t come down with it, and got to skip all my classes and sleep in my old bedroom all day. It was pretty awesome. But now as a mama, it would be hell. I’m so sorry you have mono. It is illegal for your employer to not accept your note, though. You should sue. Take those kids to court! Kidding. Just rest. Get well. Soon. Before we all go through crappy withdrawls.

  9. Anne-Marie says:

    Oh my gosh! I hope you feel better quickly. I totally know how mono feels. Ugh!!! At least I got it as a teen and I got to lay in bed all day. You have my deepest sympathy!

  10. karen says:

    Aw, hope you’re better soon… post is funny, but feel bad saying so… loved the glazed eyes and showing Dr.s note to kids…. now go rest!

  11. kella says:

    “In other words, I’ll have mono for at least four years.”
    nearly made me piss my pants i laughed so hard.

    but seriously hope you get better soon, rest up we’ll be waiting right here for when you can join us again.

  12. Julie says:

    Oh no! Hope you feel better soon.

  13. Marie says:

    I JUST am finishing getting over something quite debilitating. Funny how hubby is sympathetic, but doesn’t quite get that he needs to give the little one her bath, feed her, etc. It’s still mama’s job, but boy is it harder when you’re sick! Take your time, recover, and I know we’ll all be waiting here when you feel better.

  14. Oh no! Feel better soon, Amber!

    The glazed eyes made me laugh hard. My firstborn watched an obscene amount of television when I was exhausted and nauseated while pregnant with his brother. He lived to tell about it, no permanent damage done.

  15. Lynn Durkovic Nelson says:

    LMAO!(I am laughing with you) Thank you, AGAIN, for a great moment of release. I hope you are feeling better very soon ๐Ÿ™‚

  16. says:

    Oh I know how you feel, mommies are never allowed to be sick! Try to get some rest, impossible as it seems. I do feel for you! Hope you feel better soon.

  17. Nikita says:

    Oh no! That sucks and I hope you feel better soon. It took me a couple months to recover when I was a teenager. I actually fell asleep in an exam, thank goodness for that drs note!

  18. Lara says:

    We have that movie! And feel better soon!

  19. Jaime says:

    So sorry! That really, REALLY, really sucks! Take all the time you need mama!

  20. Debbie says:

    I had mono when I was a kid (about 9 or 10 or something like that). All I remember is sleeping a LOT, I was falling asleep in class, and I wouldn’t eat much. My parents tried bribing me with candy to get me to eat something. When I refused the candy, they knew something was wrong!! Feel better soon!!

  21. Laura says:

    I am soooooooooo sorry you are sick and more sorry we will be deprived for the next week or more of your humor! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Maybe you can stockpile the humor for when you’re better and then launch a FLOOD of funny stories all at once ๐Ÿ™‚

    GET BETTER and keep calling in those reinforcements!

  22. Misty says:

    I understand this one! My oldest got mono from a Wal*Mart shopping cart (best we could figure… the only thing he actually had contact with that could have given to him) while I was pregnant with my 2nd child. He was one of those “I’m sick so I HAVE to cuddle with Mommy, no other option,” kind of kids so of course, pregnant me got mono too… just as he was recovering. It was not fun at all. Feel better. I’m not 100% sure that I’ve EVER recovered from mono and my 2nd son is 3 now. :0/

  23. Get better! Mono sucks. I watched my brother go through it. He was out for 2 months. His was complicated with athsma, though. So you should be fine!

    We’ll look forward to seeing a recovery post when you are… recovered!

  24. Tesheika Stewart says:

    I hope you feel more like your “normal” self soon. Being sick sucks…bigtime.

  25. Pamela Susan says:

    I am so sorry, Amber!! I really am. Good thing for grandparents! Hugs to you.

  26. Jessie says:

    I laughed til I cried at this post! I’m sorry but it is oh so true you poor thing! Rest up and feel better soon. Loved the Kiki’s Delivery Service reference! We love that movie!

  27. Wow. This is nutty. A year & a half ago, and about 3 months after I started my humble little blog, I also went to urgent care thinking I had strep and was diagnosed with mono. Start taking B12 — talk to your doc about B12 injections if necessary. B12 is what finally kicked the mono out of my system (and I still take a B12 supplement to this day) Best of luck to you — sleep as much as you can. I know, it’s impossible as a mother… but do what you can!!!

  28. Jenny Zucker says:

    I had mono when I was 19. It was awesome and it would be awesome now. I could see how it would be an issue for someone with, you know, motivation and drive. Sorry you’re ill.

  29. Kimberly says:

    Even when sick, you are still so funny! I hope you are feeling better very soon.

  30. Deb says:

    Feel better soon!

  31. Liz says:

    You had me at “I’ll have mono for at least four years”!!! So true. And we love Kiki and Gigi over here! Hope you’re feeling much better very soon!

  32. Leia says:

    Even crippled by sickness your wit is unflappable. Thanks for the great post. This one was so good it should tie me over until you recover. I hope you feel better soon. Keep those reinforcements close so you can rest up.

  33. MB West says:

    So…you’re off ’cause Crappy Mama feels crappy? Makes sense to me. Hang in there, okay?

  34. Sarah says:

    Oh no, that sucks!! I hope you feel better soon. Hugs xx

  35. C Planer says:

    My mother had mono forever. Boo.

  36. Feel Better Sweet Pea! my healing thoughts and energy are going out to you! try and remember if anything awesome happens and post about it when u feel better!

  37. Heidi Rosen says:

    I had mono in high school and it wasn’t so fun. Feel better soon! I agree with everyone else – even sick you are still hysterical!

  38. Jenniffer says:

    Mono sucks but it really was the best diet I ever had. (no I am not quoting that movie. I have never seen it.) While you are lying there delerious with exaustion you can look forwarrd to enjoying you skinny jeans in new and more fabulous ways when you get better. Feel no guilt for sleeping. They will keep you up plenty when they are teenagers! Get well soon ish!

  39. valleygirl says:

    Feel better! I had mono once before kids and it was horrendous. ๐Ÿ™ Thank God for the grandparents to your rescue. Hope you have a quick recovery.

  40. says:

    Whatever! We ALL know you’ll head to bed and then something truly funny will happen and you will HAVE to blog about it…it’s in your genes. See you in a couple of days ;P LOL

  41. Melissa H. says:

    LMAO at the “doc doesn’t know who you work for” I’m 38 weeks pregnant and have been told to do bedrest with a 3 1/2 year old girl in the house that is the equivalent of 3 children lol

  42. Rachel says:

    Oh, no, that’s rough! GET WELL SOON! I will really miss your posts. When my first was 6 months old, she came down with a stomach virus, and subsequently, so did I. I remember attempting to breastfeed her between vomit sessions. I had to have my husband stand near me while I was feeding her in case a wave of nausea hit me, I could quickly hand her to him and run to the bathroom. It was then I realized I would never get a “sick day” again.

    Hang in there!

    Oh, and BTW, LOL – just noticed that the baby’s diaper is full in the TV watching frame! LOVE the detail and facial expressions in your crappy pictures!

  43. April H says:

    my hubby had mono as an adult. not from kissing, either…or so he says ๐Ÿ˜‰ Get well soon!!!!

  44. Cora says:

    Hope you feel better soon! Make sure you take at least 1000 IU of Vitamin D3 & Coenzyme Q-10. It will help with the fatigue.

  45. Ruffmom says:

    I had mono at 21 as well and Thank the Lord it was before I had kids! My doctor overdosed me with Vitamins C (20,000mg/day) and B12(more shots that I wanted to count!)but the good thing was it only lasted 2 weeks instead of the 3-4 that I was expecting. I still take the B12 regularly cause everytime my body even thinks about being sick my energy is the first thing to go. Rest up mom and I’ll keep you in my prayers.

  46. Morgan W says:

    I hope you feel better and love your post they make me feel normal and i even show my husband and say look seee she does it too LOL

    Hope you get the rest you deserve ๐Ÿ™‚

  47. Sara says:

    Oh, no! Feel better!

  48. Cara says:

    Oh my goodness, that is so miserable! Mono as an adult just shouldn’t happen. A good friend of mine got it last year. She works at a big law firm pulling crazy hours. When she gave the doctor’s note to her boss he said “Um . . . good luck with that?” As in, “How does this affect my life? You’re still going to do all your work right?” I can’t imagine getting it with kids to take care of!

  49. Pamela says:

    Yuck. I had it (well glandular fever which I’m pretty sure is the same thing) when I was 14. Til I was 19. (Where did your doc get up to 3 months from? Though I hope it’s less for you!) I then had a relapse at 23 for 6 months. It was not awesome either time and no-one gave a crap when I had it, no time off school, I even got detention for missing PE!

    Are your kids watching Kiki?

  50. ErynBob says:

    Snow angels in the cereal…Ha! Rest well for as long as it takes!

  51. kristen says:

    Get rid of that crappy virus soon! I love the stained clothes and bugged out eyes in the tv shot. LOL ๐Ÿ™‚ Take your time.

  52. K says:

    Get well soon. Mono sucks at any age, but with 2 littles it is worse. What do you mean you’re coming back next week? You need to take more weeks than that to get better or else you will have this for 4 years. We love your posts but we all would rather you get better than exhaust yourself to please us.

  53. I understand so much! I have Lymes Diesaese. And kids. I too am supposed to be sleeping and resting and destressing. Not happening. We ran out of cereal days ago so you are better off than me. We are down to Halloween candy.

  54. Erika says:

    That definitely sucks! Good luck and get well soon. I will definitely miss your blog, but you take care of you and we will be here when you get back.

    PS – I love your blanket. Does the non-crappy version look like that? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  55. Laura says:

    Oh no! So sorry…I hope you recover quicker than you expect!

  56. Oh no! I had mono in May as a senior in high school. My then soon to be prom date just came and gave me a look asking “are you going to be better in time for the prom”–oh I rushed to get better so as not to inconvenience him!

    Sweet Dreams!

  57. Rosanne C says:

    I had mono that caused thyroiditis when I had ONE child, a two-year-old. I admire how well you described it, but I wish you didn’t have to live through it! You will get better–and you will be amazed at how easy things seem once you get your energy back. Rest as much as you can!

  58. Crystal says:

    I hope you get lots of rest (like that’s possible) at least as much as you can. I laughed so hard at the doctor not knowing who you work for. That is SO true! I was on my ass last week with some horrible flu and could do nothing but lay on the floor while the girls (2 and nine months) crawled all over me, stacked toys on me, covered me with blankets, and poked at my eyes while they were shut… it was great.

  59. melissa thompson says:

    Aww! Even while you feel like poop (understatement of the year) you are still so funny! I hope you get better quickly!

  60. taai says:

    having just endured the stomach flu with a nine month old, i have to say i had a little chuckle at the doctor’s note. damn it, why didn’t i think of that! i’m calling the labour relations board next time. nobody told me that parenting was going to involve laying on the floor in the fetal position while your child bashes you in the face with a plastic cup and that you would just be grateful that the child finally found something to do that didn’t involve screaming and crying. lol!

    get better soon! love your blog!!!

  61. Jane says:

    Hilarious post with crappy pictures that are amazing (even a lovely multicoloured quilt!) all done while you have mono…thank you very much for that! Get better soon!

  62. Sophie says:

    Hope you recover quickly and the grandparents can stay for a good long while!

  63. Christy says:

    So hard to be crappy when you feel… well, crappy. :o) Hoping you get to take the time you need to get well; just know that you will be missed!!! Feel better soon, Mama!

  64. deneen says:

    oh, nooo! get well soon! (be careful though ’cause last time my doc thougt i had mono it turned out i was actually a wee bit preggers!!! lol!!!)

  65. Heather B says:

    The pic of your kids watching tv is THE BEST! Their big, round, hypnotized eyes…hilarious!

    You take all the time you need to get well. We’ll miss you but absence makes the heart grow fonder. xo

  66. Lissa says:

    Poor thing. I had mono last year when I had a nursing 5 month old at the time, talk about no fun at all. I swore I was dying. Hope you feel better soon.

  67. Fenny says:

    Get well soon.

  68. Beth says:

    I just can’t imagine having mono with 2 kids. I have a cold and I’m at my wits end. When I had mono I couldn’t even stand up for a full 5 minute shower and I lost 15 pounds in 3 weeks.
    I hope you feel better.

  69. So great that you’re taking the time to look after yourself!! Get well soon – the return of Crappy Pictures will be all the sweeter for missing it. Anyway, you’re bound to accumulate some great material in a week of incapacity!!

  70. Cortney says:

    I hope you feel better soon. I had mono as a child and I remember the exhaustion all these years later. I hope you get the rest you need! Feel better soon!

  71. Sherry says:

    Hope you have a speedy recovery…we will miss you!

  72. christine says:

    Poor baby mama.Please know we will all feel guilty every time you post until you are better.So,TAKE SOME TIME OFF!!! We will love you even more when you come back.

  73. Karin says:

    Ugh! I feel awful for you! Get better soon! I had mono in college (I didn’t get it from kissing either! “Double lame-o points for mono” as well) It was the worst! I hope you don’t get it as bad as I had it, I had to drop out from that semester of College…and then when I started feeling better… wham-0 it came back. So keep Gma and Gpa there as long as possible! I cannot imagine this with 2 kids…hoping for a quick recovery! ๐Ÿ™

  74. says:

    NOoooo! I’m so sorry you are sick. I hope it runs it’s course quickly because being sick is no fun, but also because I’ll be going through Crappy Withdrawals without your posts! But mostly because being sick is no fun. Take care sister!

    p.s. I love that you love Kiki’s Delivery Service and My Neighbor Totoro. Myazaki=Magic!

  75. Christina O says:

    Oh no … I hope you feel better soon! I am so glad that you have reinforcements available. We moved to the NE from Florida just so that those reinforcements would be within driving distance. It’s so important …

    Feel better soon!!

  76. Amanda Pavlovich says:

    Get better soon!

  77. Heather says:

    ๐Ÿ™ Get well soon Amber!

  78. Chrissie says:

    Seriously, it is getting creepy how much your posts remind me of my life. I had mono over the summer. I have no idea how I got it, though it was not from any interesting way. Unfortunately, I didn’t get tested for the right thing until I had it for 2 months and was almost over it (thanks, doctors, for giving me lots of tests for the WRONG things). So, I felt like total crap for no apparent reason (read: no one had any pity on me and therefore, no help!), and I had a 1 and 3 year old! I feel your pain. And it did take me a number of months to feel completely better. Get some rest, you lucky one with the grand-parental reinforcements! ๐Ÿ™‚

  79. says:

    Amazing 3D effect on the drawings today…feel better!

  80. Lisa says:

    feel better!! get lots o rest. glad the grand-parents can come by to help

  81. seashells says:

    I love the cereal angel…and yay for grandparents huh? Get some rest we will miss you tons…so heal quickly and post soon as you are feeling better!

  82. StephanieH218 says:

    Ohhh Noo…Monooooo. Even having mono you cracked me up with ‘In other words, I’ll have mono for at least four years.” LMAO. Get some rest…you will be missed and we just won’t allow you to go away for four years so rest up, we expect you back next week bright eyed and bushy tailed ๐Ÿ˜‰

  83. AngieG says:

    “In other words, I’ll have mono for at least four years.” -Best Line Ever

    Get well soon!!!!

  84. Gretchen says:

    Uggggh! I have so been there and done that. Take care of yourself!!!

  85. Renee says:

    Mono is the worst! Like many others I have my own story – got it in 8th grade and it forever changed my life. Got it again in 9th grade. I never got over it and at 27 am now going though the ringer with testing for MS – YIKES! So rest up the best you can and listen to your body!!

  86. Caroline says:

    I somehow contracted mono during the final trimester of my 4th pregnancy (with children aged 3, just turned 2, and 10 months. I feel your pain! I hope you *do* get to rest. Incidentally, I totally pimped your blog in my last post, if you want to check it out: Reading is much less strenuous than writing ๐Ÿ™‚

    Get better soon!

  87. Hope you feel better soon – get some rest! And sheesh, if you’re gonna have mono, shouldn’t you at least get some kissin’ in? Doesn’t seem fair!

  88. Rainmaker2008 says:

    My daughter has been mentioning Kiki Gigi for a while now and I have never heard of it. THANK YOU for putting a reference point to it. I will get to the bottom of this yet!

  89. MamaGina says:

    Rest lots and get better fast – we’ll miss you!

  90. Nikki Jackson says:

    that is truly crappy. speedy recovery!

  91. christina says:

    only bright side to mono when I had it…. Lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks!!!!

  92. I imagine the doctor’s note looks like this:

    Dear Employer,
    Please let Amber sleep.
    The Doctor

  93. sonja lange says:

    kiki’s delivery service

  94. Oh no! That is the worst! Did you have mono in the past?? It can come back sometimes. Good luck to you, I hope you are able to squeeze in some rest. Also – Weird that I wrote a bit about mono in my blog post this week, too.) ๐Ÿ™

    p.s. if you keep giving them cereal and adding it to the pile on the carpet maybe you can make a kind of edible ball pit. That would be sort of cool, for the kids – no?

  95. Angela Garrison says:

    So sorry. Guess I’ll just have to manufacture my own crappy! Oh wait, yeah, it’s been here all the time! Have a good week off meaning lots of rest and more rest on top of that!

  96. Angie says:

    First, I am so sorry you are sick! I did laugh when I read “My doctor doesn’t know who I work for” This is how I feel any time I’m sick or when my OBGYN put me on bed rest with kids.

    I hope you are resting now. Sleep and recooperate so you can rejoin the land of the living. ๐Ÿ™‚

  97. Danielle says:

    I just got shush in the library, where I work, for laughing too loudly at that line.
    I’m so sorry for you. Thank God you have parents who can help.

    I will miss you while your gone but I’d rather you didn’t need 4yrs to recouperate.

  98. Jen says:

    Crappy deal ๐Ÿ™ Being sick as a Mom is the hardest thing EVER! Get better soon.

  99. Tanya says:

    Lucky you! My parents are more work than my kids:)
    Hope you’re feeling better soon.

  100. Angie says:

    I hope you feel better soon! When I was in college, I had all the symptoms of mono and strep at the same time, but both tests came back negative. The doctors thought I had them both and somehow they combined to throw off the test. Awesome. So yeah, I basically had the plague for a month and it was *awful*. My heart goes out to you, and I will send some healing vibes and imaginary chicken soup along with it.

  101. Jen says:

    Sending lots of healing energy! Hope you get better soon!

  102. June says:

    Sending you healthy thoughts and good wishes! Do whatever it takes to get better because when Mama ain’t happy, nobody happy.

  103. Bronwyn says:

    You poor thing. Loved your account though. Gonna miss your posts! Get well soon. Look after yourself. Grandparents are wonderful things when you’re sick.

  104. Laurashouldn'tbewritingthiswhileatwork says:

    Sleep. Don’t think even one thought about this blog and your adoring fans – they miss you, yes, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they care more about your health than your blog. :-p

    Also, I had mono in college – 2 weeks of sleeping like 20 hrs a day, only waking up to drink ginseng and berry zinger tea by the coffee pot (and occasionally eat something and hit the restroom), and I was waaAAAAAaay better. I’m tellin’ ya – good quality ginseng and berry zinger teas (mixed) does a body good.

  105. Lynn says:

    REALLY hope you feel better… soo hard when mama needs to take time off.. soooooooooo hard! I did laugh out loud at the “I’ll have mono for four years’ part, good stuff. Will keep you and crappy mono in my prayers tonight (and that your local store doens’t sell out of your kid’s favorite cereal when ‘Pops and Gange’ are worn out and have to leave. Bless you!

  106. Mandy says:

    Aww…that stinks. Feel better Mama!

  107. Jamie says:

    I had Mono when I was 24 and in collage. I didn’t rest as much as I should have been and it took me way longer than 3 months to recover. Make sure you get the rest you need ๐Ÿ™‚ Love your blog btw!

  108. Bristolian says:

    feel better amber! i just realized just how excited i was to see an email announcing another ‘crappy’ post in my inbox so you will be greatly missed. i must admit that even though i don’t have kids yet, i love reading your blog. you had me at ‘creative grammar.’ rest up.

  109. Irene says:

    I can’t wait four years so I wish you lots of rest and a speedy recovery. Love the Dr.s note!

  110. Victoria says:

    Congratulations on making the choice to take care of yourself – so brave and hard to do a a mom! Sending healthy thoughts your way.

  111. Amanda Reed says:

    Oh I am so sorry you’re sick, and I am sending up prayers for your speedy recovery. Mono is awful, and it really can take months to clear up if you don’t get lots of rest, and fluids, and I really hope they gave you some good antibiotics. Check in with your doc often in case you worsen. Don’t write anything off. โ™ฅ

  112. Jen says:

    Feel better soon!

  113. Oh no! I hope you get lots and lots of rest!

  114. Julia says:

    Really hope that you are feeling better soon!! Sucks being sick when you are a mom ๐Ÿ™

  115. Samantha says:

    get some rest and take care of yourself! be easy on your body and don’t try to rush it. we’ll be here when you get back! ๐Ÿ™‚

  116. Astra says:

    Well, everyone else has pretty much said it! I really love your work so I hope you rest up and get back to Crappy Pictures soon ๐Ÿ™‚
    I had mono in HS and it was not near as bad as when my husband got it in his late ’20’s. Off work for 6 weeks …
    Take care of yourself!

  117. Em says:

    a week!??? See you in a month (or two). Least it wasn’t snow angels in poo. Hugs from Australia xx Mono sucks.

  118. I had mono. Why did this post make me feel like crying a little bit? Maybe it’s because my son has broken me tonight, or maybe it’s because I’m burnt anyway, but when I saw the cartoon of you showing the “need sleep” doctor’s order to your “employers” knowing how that goes in life, I felt futility!

    I hope you have a quick recovery. Mine didn’t last all that long as I recall.

  119. Tara says:

    Get well soon!!

  120. Sheila says:

    Sending well wishes and prayers your way!
    I got mono in my early 30’s and the first three weeks were the hardest. Truth be told, it probably took months before I felt like myself again. I was lucky – my kids were already in school so I was able sleep during the day.

  121. Ginger says:

    Aw, get better. You are so loved, look at all these get better notes. Does this make up for being called a fucking cat hater? I hope a little.

  122. Michelle Pittman says:

    Aww! I will miss you and ur hysterical posts thoroughly!! My prayers will include a speedy recovery for you my dear – take care of yourself! ๐Ÿ™‚

  123. L's mom says:

    I was feeling sorry for myself for having a nasty cold and pinkeye. You made me feel like I’m lucky. I’m wishing you the version of mono that has you better in 2 weeks.

  124. Alicia says:

    Redundant empathy for you, but I truly hope you feel better soon! Not just for the selfish reason which is that I look forward to new posts from you, but also because being sick with kids sucks. How can you still be so funny even when you are so sick? That is impressive, hats off.

  125. Sofya says:

    Hope you feel better soon! I love all the humor in the face of mono!

  126. Lauraiswritingthisafterworkhoursnow says:

    (I’m not kidding about the sleeping 20+ hours a day, nor about the tea-by-the-pot – I know it’s pretty anecdotal, but it worked wonders for me – one morning after a couple weeks, I was just able to pop up out of bed! So, if you’re reading this, stop! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Go sleeeeep for a month! Heck, maybe just go stay at your parents’ house while they stay at yours? :-p)

  127. Molly says:

    Feel better soon!!!

  128. Jackie says:

    Get better soon! I hope you get lots and lots of rest. I will miss your hilarious posts!
    … I sure wish I had one of those magical doctors notes ๐Ÿ™‚

  129. jan says:

    i,too, had mono with an infant and a toddler and could do NOTHING! going to the bathroom was like climbing mount everest (with both kids attached!). the mimi came and saved the day — and i slept — that’s what you must do! i’m a mimi now, so if you’re desperate, just call!

  130. Mandy says:

    Amber, Get better SOON……….

  131. Karla says:

    My sympathies! I had mono almost a year and a half ago as an adult too. Doesn’t work well when you have kids! There are no tips or tricks, just sleep/ rest and let anyone who offers to help do so.

  132. Maybe, give your kids a lollipop you have licked so they can be exhausted for weeks on end too with mono, and you can get a break. Just kidding ๐Ÿ˜‰ – and it would be pointless anyway since our ped told us mono only last 3-5 days for the little ones.

    I had mono my first year teaching in NYC. I had it for two months until I finally convinced my doctor that not being able to stand while teaching due to exhaustion wasn’t normal and I needed a mono test. Once I was able to sleep for a week, it went away quickly.

    Feel better soon!

  133. Jennifer says:

    Oh no! I got mono my first year of university…6 years ago…I’m still not the same, I swear. Get lots and lots of rest. I slept 16 hours a day for at least a month and even then I needed naps.

    It really will take months to feel better, so I hope you have a speedy recovery!!!! I can’t imagine having mono and children. Get well soon!!!!

  134. Carrie says:

    I LOVE the stance of your bosses as you present your dr note!!!!! The baby isn’t sure how that’s going to affect him yet and crappy boy is not buying it. VERY skeptical! Classic!

  135. deeda says:

    Oh no! And I was JUST feeling sorry for myself because I caught my daughter’s cold, which she’s had for three days (and has been home from school for as long) and got as a gift from her cousin (struggling not to text my brother that I’d never bring my daughter to HIS house if she was hacking like my nephew was).

    Anyway, I’m sorry, Amber! It sounds trite and silly but the universe works in mysterious ways … time to slow down indeed!

    Feel better.

  136. Kathryn says:

    Oh man, I had mono when I was 16, and wouldn’t wish that upon my worst enemy. Mommies NEVER get a sick day, hope you feel better soon!

  137. diana says:

    Use every second of that help you have to sleep! See you when you’re better! I was wiped out for three weeks with no help. Glad you’ve got some reinforcements.

  138. Melissa says:

    Thank goodness for the grandparents!! Feel better soon!

  139. Angela says:

    I hope you feel better soon. I hated being sick while living in toddlerville. I am so jealous you have the grandparents to keep the little ones alive. My husband was deployed and all grandparents live at least a thousand miles away. I hope you get all the sleep that you need.
    BTW- I love your blog!!!

  140. Susie says:

    I had mono last spring and was shocked when they told me the diagnosis. Mono at 38–you’ve got to be kidding! It sure does elicit sympathy from others, but it sucks to have!! I would wake up several times a night drenched in sweat and couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t getting better after 8 days of antibiotics. Unfortunately, my husband was deployed at the time, we didn’t live near any family, and all my friends abandoned me out of fear that they might catch it, and I had a 6 month old baby, 5 and 7 yr old. Now that I look back, I dont know how I got through it. I felt much better after about 3 weeks. Whenever my husband feels lazy about helping out, I pull the “mono card.” Your post put into words ( and pictures) exactly how I was feeling at the time. I have no encouraging words for you. It sucks and I hope it’s over soon!

  141. Sarah Hickok says:

    Last week I had laryngitis, and while it isn’t mono, I did post on facebook: “mommies don’t get sick days.” It’s true. Glad you called in reinforcements. Time for bed.

  142. Jodi Aman says:

    Oh crap! Sending healing energy!

  143. Tina says:

    I’m so sorry! I got Mono when I was a TEACHER–of HIGH SCHOOLERS. Yeah, not embarrassing at ALL. I got it the week before Thanksgiving and remember Christmas shopping ON LINE wearing me out (that was before there was such thing as wireless internet so I had to sit at a desk to do so…now I could do that even with Mono. ๐Ÿ˜‰ And I realize by typing that I revel it was a bit of time ago. That was when I was young and engaged, got to try to do wedding planning during that time…I can’t imagine having it now, with kids. I’m glad you have back-up, I know how crazy easy one gets worn out with it. Rest up!

  144. Oh, I had mono when I was in 7th grade and it sucked. I hope you get TONS of rest and get better soon! Thank God for grandparents.

  145. Katie says:

    Oh man, no fun at all. I hope you feel better soon!

  146. says:

    hi…..I had mono at sixteen….and no, I did not get it from kissing lol… children to take care of.but was hard to drag myself to the bathroom. My mom actually said the cat is peeing in the potted plants..I was too exhausted to even make it to the bathroom. Poor cat. don’t tell. I have NEVER told anyone.

  147. been sorry! says:

    HOPE grandparents stick around so you can get all better…..get as much rest as you can while they are there….

  148. Sneha says:

    Take care, Amber! We’ll try to not miss you.

  149. sannah says:

    So sorry to hear that you are sick – hope you are better really soon, and get a good rest. We will miss you!

  150. sarah says:

    What a shame! I hope so much you recover soon, and in the meanwhile have plenty of help.

  151. Nicole says:

    Oh man! I can SO relate! Without realizing it, I came down with this virus last September, then it got into my spinal column and gave me meningitis (or something like it–debilitating headache, neck ache, pain in my nerves, etc.). Still, didn’t know what it was. I was exhausted and in pain undergoing test after test for NINE MONTHS all with two little kids to care for. Finally, the virus markers that are supposed to disappear after 3 months or so were found in my system–indicating that I had a MAJOR attack and/or had never let my body heal.

    All that to say, you may be right that not resting could very certainly prolong your illness… For months… Don’t take this lightly! Chronic exhaustion is terrible!!! Strangely, getting pregnant correlated directly with my real recovery. So now that I’m no longer exhausted for medical reasons, I get to be just as exhausted for newborn reasons… Sigh.

  152. LiteralDan says:

    Take all the time you need! I was also passed over as a teenager, and picked on as a work-from-home-while-foolishly-caring-for-a-baby-and-preschooler dad, who really, really needed to add mono to that mix, and the lack of rest probably greatly prolonged/worsened it.

    And if you keep following my path, next up for you a year or two later? Shingles. AKA, a relapse of chicken pox as an adult, which is somehow worse then, after biding its time for a couple decades somewhere in your spine, getting more insane and thirsty for revenge.

    The rest is a better way to go. Good luck!

  153. Amanda says:

    I hope you feel better very soon. (not just because I love reading your blog but because being sick sucks and It is hard being sick with kids trying to get your attention. good to know that you have help with the kids while you are sick.) listen to the doc. get lots of rest, dont forget to stay hydrated ๐Ÿ™‚

    Get well soon.

  154. Gina says:

    While I really enjoyed the satire of this post, mono is no laughing matter. It can affect the spleen, which is very dangerous. I hope you get the rest you need and get well soon! Take care Mama! ๐Ÿ™‚

  155. Ana says:

    Hi! I had mono… and it’s not sweet… I cannot imagine with kids… Hope you recover fast and be strong… It will all be over soon. Try to sleep as much as they let you… get well soon.

  156. Caroline says:

    Oh man I had mono as an AMA and it sucks – I was basically in the horizontal position for a month and that was without kiddos. Don’t know how I would have coped if I had the kids. Listen to the doctor and rest.

  157. Phyllis says:

    Get better soon & fast!

  158. Amber says:

    I take B-complex every day–it’s my own little form of crack. It also makes my hair and nails grow. Love that stuff.

  159. Erin says:

    Get well soon!

  160. Janette says:

    Hang in there! I’d like to say get as much sleep as you can, but you are already trying that with the best of your ability. So, I pray you recover quickly!

  161. Nikki O says:

    No personal experience with mono, but my sister and an ex-boyfriend of mine both found it to be an effective weight-loss solution. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Not saying that you need to lose weight, btw. I have no idea if you need to lose weight or not, but I assume you don’t. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Feel better soon and enjoy that rest!

  162. Kelly says:

    Vitamin info:
    General mono info:
    Incl: Before 5 years of age, 50% of individuals are infected by EBV. By 40 years of age, 90% of individuals are infected. Once you’ve caught the virus, it never really goes away. However, it can only cause symptoms in healthy people when it’s still new in the body. After that it’s kept in check by the immune system, though never completely eradicated.
    If you get mononucleosis, the most important thing is to listen to advice about taking it easy for 3 months afterwards. The risk of a ruptured spleen is small, but not so small as to be ignored.

    Sorry… Info junkie. Get well soon!

  163. Mari says:

    BETERSCHAP (get well in Dutch)!!! The 9th circle of Hell is being sick as a mother.I hope that by some miracle, you’ll get all the rest you need and that it won’t take four months recover.

  164. RedinNC says:

    Hope you feel better soon! Sleep sleep sleep. It cures all.

  165. Becca says:

    My husband got mono right after we got married. I know it has something to do with not getting enough sleep mixed with a weakened immune system. His case was so bad that he had to quit his job and barely made it to his college classes. The only time he was awake enough for anything was when I wanted um, ‘playtime’. Interestingly enough I got pregnant when he had mono. I don’t think he has ever recovered from it, NINE years later. He is always tired and comes home from work and passes out on the couch. He wakes up for dinner and then passes out again. (I think it’s actually a disease he has)

  166. Holly says:

    OH no! Mono sucks! I hope you feel better really soon. I had it the summer before my senior year and I was on bedrest all stinkin summer.

  167. Rebecca Gonnella says:

    Maybe you could start taking speed? Because then at least you could prepare toast with the cereal. (just kidding CPS lurkers. *sarcasm* it’s why I started visiting this site). I just started reading your blog and as a mother of four, I will say that I am so sorry you have mono. I pray it goes away. Fast.

  168. Amber Dusick says:

    Now there is the first bit of solid, useful advice! LOL, thanks for the laugh.

  169. Amber Dusick says:

    Yes, that disease is called “being a man”. My husband never recovered from mono either. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  170. Lately, I’ve been thinking about what we do for our kids on a daily basis– . I hope Grandma and Grandpa can stay for a good long time!

  171. Chi says:

    * hugs * I got Mono as an adult, and passed it on to my husband. Needless to say, we were both utterly miserable. I wish you a speedy recovery! I’m glad the little one’s have the grandparents available to help.

  172. Bodi says:

    Ugh, Mono with young kids … that totally sucks.

    Glad you were able to call in the reinforcements- get well soon, Amber!

  173. Meredith says:

    Sorry you’re sick. I hope the rest pays off quickly!

  174. Katie says:

    Hope you feel better soon!

  175. MelissaH says:

    My Mother has mono. Have you been kissing my 66 year old mother?
    Hope you get lots of rest! ๐Ÿ™‚

  176. Wendy Irene says:

    Oh Amber, I hope you feel better soon! I had mono during college and it was awful. My heart is with you, girl! xoxo

  177. Etta says:

    Feel better soon! I had mono in the 10th grade and it was wonderful — sleeping and watching movies instead of going to class. It’d probably kill me to have it as an adult with children, though.

  178. muddledmom says:

    I can’t imagine. Had it in college and missed all of my exams (yay!) but terrible with kids (boo!). We’ll miss you. You may need more than a week…

  179. laurie says:

    I am so sorry you are sick! I had mono as an adult and it was tough. I don’t know where you are based but maybe some of your faithful fans could have dinners sent to you or something. I’d be happy to organize!

  180. Katie says:

    Oh no! Mono sucks! I don’t know how you’re doing it with kids, I slept 23 hours a day for 5 weeks…

  181. Katie says:

    Oh yeah, and hope you feel better soon!

  182. Take all of the time you need/can and feel better soon!! Mommy being sick is NEVER fun ๐Ÿ™

  183. says:

    I love that your kids are watching Kiki’s Delivery service! I also love that you keep referencing Hayao Miyazaki films. You are such a cool mom! Feel better soon!

  184. Colloidal Silver and Nettle tea will help and provide a lot of energy.
    Dave’s Healthy Solutions Colloidal Silver 16 oz bottle
    Mountain Rose Herbs Nettle Herbal tea
    Nettle especially provides calcium and for me at least, a lot of energy.
    I hope you get better soon!

  185. Jamie says:

    I have two little girls the same age as your boys and I cannot even imagine how difficult it would be to have mono AND littles at home all day!!! I LOVE your updates and your sense of humor. I crack up several times during every post (except the one about your BFF…only tears in that one). I will miss you while you are gone but am happy you will be able to get the rest you need. Dr’s orders!

  186. Mrs bok says:

    Get well soon! You are so my fave blogger and I’ll miss you. Rest up and get well!!!! Xoxo

  187. megan says:

    Poor Amber. Maybe your employer will reimburse you.

  188. Carla Morais says:

    We will miss your crappy posts! ๐Ÿ™‚
    Hope you do get better soon!

  189. Rosie McEwin says:

    Oh, poor baby! I had mono, too – but like you, I was too old and already in the workforce to make having it worthwhile.

  190. S Club Mama says:

    to give you hope, I had mono as a teenager (also didn’t get it from kissing – boo) and I seriously missed one whole day of school. I was totally fine…minus that inflated liver which means I can’t ever give blood again.

  191. Diane says:

    I’ve recently found your blog and absolutely love it. Rest up and get well soon!

  192. julie says:

    Take care of yourself!!
    Thanks for even letting your fans know what’s going on for you. And please NO GUILT.

  193. Jeanmarie says:

    UGGH, I HAD MONO WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER- FOR 8 MONTHS! Hope you are on the mend soon!!I will never forget how horrible I felt!!

  194. Rachel Carter says:

    Feel better soon xx

  195. I’m sorry you’re sick. I hope your little bosses allow you some time off so you can get the rest you need.

  196. Amy J. says:

    Oh goodness! I had mono last year while teaching kindergarten and having a 6 month old. My doc didn’t bother to test me for it until I was already a month and a half in. I pretty much thought I was dying at that point and they would never figure it out. I even caught bronchitis in the middle of it and had to cancel all my parent teacher conferences. I feel your pain! Screw the blog, rest up. I didn’t and it took me from the middle of October until Christmas to finally feel normal again!

  197. Heather says:

    Hubby had mono 8 years ago (before kids). We both teach college students (worse than preschoolers with germs). He finished a rough semester. Went to Venezula for 2 weeks. Came home for 3 days and went to Brazil for a week (both for work). Came back with a fever. He thought he had malaria. Nope it was mono. I gave him hard time about just WHAT had he been doing on those trips. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Of course, we found out it does spread like the common cold and the incubation time is soo long that he could have picked it up from one of the freshmen. So now we teach college kids AND have preschoolers. How we have any days where we aren’t sick I’m not sure! Get lots of rest!

  198. wendy says:

    NO!! not mono!! you poor thing. shit, i hope the boys are taking good care of you. i’m sending you lots of mom power.

  199. jackie says:

    I once thought I had mono for an entire year. Turns out I was just really bored. Feel better! ๐Ÿ™‚

  200. Katherine says:

    I hope you make a fast recovery, and at least get to read all these good wishes! Thank god for Grandparents! I hope they can stay until you are well.

  201. I legitimately feel so terrible for you. I would be the biggest baby on the planet if I was you. You are a stronger woman than I am. Feel better.


  202. Woman, you crack. me. up.

    Thanks – I needed the laugh. Love the doctor note bit. … and the cereal angels… totally get it ๐Ÿ™‚

    Feel better ๐Ÿ™‚


  203. anne says:

    I had mono when I was 13 (and totally awkward, mine definitely wasn’t from kissing anyone, either!), but I think my mother only allowed me one or two days off school. But with absolutely no responsibilities in my life that was enough time to recover. Now, with 2 kids (close in age to yours), I totally get that you will have it for 4 years. I hope it isn’t that long, though, because I love this blog! GEt well, soon!

  204. Kelly says:

    That’s Crappy! Ha! Honestly, I hope you feel better mama! Sometimes I wonder if you have magical powers of long distance mind reading. I’ll be on the lookout for you, but only when you’re better. Mono sucks and I hope you start to feel better soon. I CAN’T wait until you kid gets a girl’s phone number for the first time. Son: I got Brooklyn’s phone number. Me: Wow, you got a girl’s digits. Son: She didn’t give them to me, I copied them down from her lunch box. Me: Ummm, it’s probably not a good idea to call her, unless she gave you her number. I mean, really??? I’m so not ready. I have to practive my evil glare. Feel better Sweetie! Thank you for sharing your life with “us”.

  205. Allison Miller says:

    Hope you feel better soon. I can’t imagine getting mono now, as a mother. I got it during my senior year of high school and I will say – it was great. Being absent from HS after you’ve already been accepted to college is about as good as it got (during the teenage years).

    In any case, I remember the crappy sore throat and exhaustion.

    All the best to you!

  206. Oh no!

    I’ve never had mono, but am getting over a nasty sinus infection right now. I rank mono right up there with migraines – we should have the right – and ability – to pass it on to our enemies.

    Hope you feel better soon!

  207. We have kiki’s delivery service and I thought it was funny when you mentioned totoro… people think I’m weird cuz my daughter loves those movies… and so do we ๐Ÿ™‚
    Love your blog, hope you get well soon!

  208. smoore5678 says:

    Feel better soon! ๐Ÿ™‚

  209. says:

    I just noticed the dirty diaper in the cereal picture. Exactly the way it goes.

    Hope your mono passes quickly. Three months of cereal covering the floor sounds like hell. (I had mono, too…before kids. I think the infected person is allowed to drop their food on the floor.) Do you have a dog? You’re going to need a dog to clean up that mess.

  210. Lilac says:

    I’m too late seeing this to tell you to feel better…so I just want to say that I LOVE the truthfulness in your posts. It’s makes me feel less like a horrible parent when I see that OTHER people have Cheerios all over the floor and parent with the TV when they’re not feeling well, too!

    Thanks for being awesome! ๐Ÿ™‚

  211. Karen says:

    That sucks, Amber!! I hope it won’t take FOUR YEARS to recover…. then again, how old are your kids again? If they’re not sleeping through the night and you need lots of rest to get better… let’s not think about that. I heart all your posts – so funny!! Will get caught up on some oldies but goodies while you recover. Glad you’ve got reinforcements. : )

  212. cindy says:

    I love your quilt! Pottery Barn? LOL
    I hope you’re doing better by now. Not entirely, because four years hasn’t passed, but … a wee bit better? (I’m catching up on these… been offline myself!)

  213. brillopad says:

    You are lucky you can stay at home. I had it and had to suck it up and go to work.

  214. Edwiin says:

    Their eyes blissfully glaze over, while Kiki and Gigi chatter on.

  215. Burke says:

    SEE you. I hope you will be well soon

  216. Bridgett says:

    Okay, so I’m way too lazy to read through 200+ comments to see if anyone else has said this, but I am madly in love with the quilt in your first picture! And yes, despite laughing hysterically at all of your posts, this is the one I decided to comment on, and yes, it was about the quilt. Glad you’re feeling better!

  217. Asking questions are truly nice thing if you are not understanding something fully, however this paragraph gives nice understanding even.