Cloth diapers are diapers made of cloth. You put them on a baby and the baby poops and pees on them. And then you wash them. And then you put them back on the baby. And then the baby poops and pees on them. And then you wash them again. And then you keep doing this.
Over the five years that I’ve kept doing this, I’ve come to know the good things and the crappy things.
And this is what they are…
The Good Things About Cloth Diapers
Now you might think I’m about to get on my grass-fed, sustainably raised, antibiotic-free high horse about environmental stuff but I don’t really like riding horses. Especially high ones.
Nah. Let’s be real here.
I cloth diaper because they look cool and come in pretty colors.
They are pretty! And soft! And come in fruity colors and patterns!
And my baby will poop on them and be so happy!
Slap a diaper on him and he is all dressed:
A similar outfit in a disposable diaper would never work on him.
Because of this:
Snaps on cloth diapers are awesome. Like tiny padlocks that keep the poop locked up.
But cloth diapers aren’t just good at poop containment!
They are also good at making friends.
I can use cloth diapers in the same way that a single guy uses a puppy. To get noticed:
But they aren’t just a homing beacon to like-minded mamas, they also protect my baby.
Cloth diapers are like little padded helmets for his butt:
And after my baby outgrows them:
I sell them. Cloth diapers retain their resale value better than cars do.
Buying a car? Skip it. Buy cloth diapers.
And did I mention they come in fruity colors?
The Crappy Things About Cloth Diapers
It goes without saying that the worst part about cloth diapering is that it means more laundry. I hate laundry. Laundry can go and die.
But diaper laundry doesn’t bother me any more than regular laundry does.
No, what bothers me is something else.
It is that putting the diapers in the washing machine causes him to poop:
This means that I’m stuck with a poopy diaper and no wet bag to put it in. It sits on my bathroom counter on top of a plastic bag. This makes for some bad potpourri.
After the laundry is done? This diaper goes in the clean bag, festering at the bottom until I do the wash again.
And you know how I mentioned those fruity colors?
Yeah. He likes those too.
This is yet another example of my own parenting tricks backfiring on me. I used to convince him to let me change his diaper by saying, “Come on! You can pick the color!” Bad idea.
But perhaps the worst part about cloth diapering is dealing with poopy diapers.
We have a diaper sprayer attached to our toilet.
But actually I hate this thing.
I hate it because sometimes I turn the valve just a teeny tiny bit too high.
Which transforms it into a water laser:
The water laser blasts the poop into a million miniscule pieces, carried by water droplets all over the toilet, floor and my barefeet.
And that is the crappiest thing about cloth diapers.
Also, I know that some of you don’t use cloth diapers. That is okay. I don’t care.
I’m not a diaperist. Some of my best friends use disposables.
PS – if you liked this post, then you’ll definately, probably like my new book: Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures
And now I’ll let my totally Non-Crappy March Sponsors introduce themselves:
EC Simplified: Infant Potty Training Made Easy - I teach parents of 0-20 month old babies how to stop diapering full-time and how to avoid conventional toilet training…and poop…with Elimination Communication, aka Infant Potty Training. My offerings include a thorough (yet simple) digital how-to book, video library, private support forum, audiobook, and in-person workshops.
Change-Diapers.com - If it’s “natural” or “green,” from cloth diapers to composting, we’re your source for information, detailed reviews & giveaways.
Portland Hypnobabies – Enjoy your baby’s birth, with hypnosis for childbirth that really works! Hypnobabies provides parents-to-be with the education necessary to prepare for the safest, healthiest, most peaceful birth imaginable.
Purple Leaves, Red Cherries: A Gift for Mothers with Short Stories, Journal & Toolkit – An inspiring and critically acclaimed book for new moms and mothers of young children.
Woolies – Woolies creates heirloom quality artisan stuffed animals and dolls, naturally. Inspired by the many animals on our little ranch, and a love of childhood.
AppleCheeks - A mom-owned and operated cloth diapering company that prides itself on having perfected the concept of cloth diapering! Manufactured in Canada, this system is not only simple and easy to use, but super cute to boot!
The Enchanted Cupboard - Handmade Wooden Toys, Games, and Wedding Cake Toppers
Please visit their sites because they are full of awesome. Plus, they support this blog which means I can keep on writing it. Isn’t that swell? (More sponsorship info here.)